Pearl - Understanding Female Psychology in Modern Dating w⧸ @Mr.DatingCoach

00:00:00.480 so when you what are like the different types of women that you see out there

00:00:06.000 like like archetypes i guess yeah so you have so many um whatever archetype the girl is at

00:00:12.720 the end of the day they all want to have fun okay that's huge but you have a lot different buckets

00:00:20.000 right um you have girls that are actually looking for marriage right and dating so

00:00:27.040 those girls tend to be a little bit on the older side they're like oh i'm actually looking for

00:00:31.360 something serious whatever yeah but you're right yeah but at the end of the day it's like

00:00:37.440 if you understand attraction right if you're financially stable you're a really good flirt

00:00:42.880 right that's basically all a girl needs right and if you make her have fun you elevate her mood

00:00:49.440 she feels good with you she feels comfortable um and you have a good decent career that's more

00:00:54.960 enough for any girl right and so even if she's not looking for a relationship she's gonna look

00:00:59.360 at that she's gonna say oh this guy can date him right but that's one bucket the girls that are

00:01:02.960 looking for long term maybe they might be looking the wrong places um but that's one bucket and then

00:01:08.560 you have a different bucket of girls who are just want to have fun i just graduated college i just

00:01:13.920 moved to new york city sex in the city type right i want to have fun um you have that bucket as well

00:01:19.840 those girls are um kind of like the girls probably you've had on your pod more so all right and then

00:01:26.480 they just never leave the lifestyle yeah so that's that's tough right they never leave that lifestyle

00:01:31.840 because it's so it's such a nice lifestyle you get flown out free dinners ba ba ba everything you

00:01:37.520 know validated um and then they reach 30 32 and that's all pulled away do you think that like

00:01:44.240 eight to tens belong to the streets forever i've heard some puas say that eight to tens belong like

00:01:50.160 eight pluses because they're so monetized even if they're not like i think mids are sluttier than

00:01:55.120 eight pluses because like that they have to be to compete but like yeah like because i had a pi on

00:02:01.360 the show and he was saying how like if they're super hot like they can do nothing and get things in

00:02:06.080 return or the mids have to put out yeah yeah he was saying though that like the eight pluses um

00:02:16.240 a lot of them will never like get married or whatever because they're just so monetized for

00:02:21.920 so long and i was curious if you agreed or you did because you guys like the dating coaches are the ones

00:02:27.280 like you guys get to see firsthand what's going on because there's so many different guys you guys are

00:02:32.560 getting information from you know yeah there's i mean we run large sample sizes yeah yeah we see it

00:02:38.880 all the time yeah so um they are monetized to a degree but you will get the occasional eight nines

00:02:46.400 and tens i think this is an exception to that rule that maybe live in a city or a country where everybody's

00:02:53.040 an eight or a nine or it's oh okay right and they don't know that or you know they might be unaware of

00:02:58.080 it um or they just don't i think it requires also if you're a girl who's an eight nine or ten

00:03:02.720 and you're monetizing it i think it requires a level of ambition you know but you want well like

00:03:08.080 there's a drive there as well and a lot of girls might not have that drive that ambition and so you

00:03:13.280 might meet a few of them who don't have that they have a regular you know small instagram 500 600

00:03:18.400 followers you know um so i think that's an exception to the rule but i think a seven can nowadays with

00:03:26.000 social media and the amount of simping that's going on a seven can monetize it too yeah i mean

00:03:31.360 you have fives monetizing it oh yeah i mean you get the filters you have so many girls monetizing

00:03:39.840 it now it's like well yeah you you kind of just have to work around that yeah so what changes have

00:03:44.720 you seen in the last 10 years like with women monetizing more is that like a common thing where

00:03:50.000 like they'll approach a girl and for me when i was interviewing i couldn't believe how many people

00:03:55.440 had only fans of the women that seemed really normal and is that something you guys have come

00:03:59.920 across or is that because people will say go touch grass it's just your podcast so i'm curious what

00:04:05.600 you've seen on like the ground level um i mean i think it definitely i mean yeah you definitely

00:04:11.840 attract that type of of audience right but from what i've seen there's definitely an increase it's not

00:04:17.520 nearly as many as you think but you definitely do see an increase now was there a point that they

00:04:22.560 might have had one and then they failed i don't know right i can't tell you that but they said i

00:04:29.440 need to find these girls where are they right i'll help you find them brother and so um we have seen an

00:04:37.520 increase in that over the last 10 years but what we've seen an increase the most that i think is is

00:04:42.640 really damaging is the amount of bad advice between women's circles because women's circles are growing

00:04:48.640 stronger i think that's how feminism is materializing is you're getting four or five groups of girls in

00:04:53.600 their girls group and they all give each other shitty advice you know and now you have a lot of

00:04:59.440 those groups that are very hard to break or they just don't look at men as they just don't respect

00:05:04.320 men in general right their opinion or anything and so i think that's what we're seeing an increase

00:05:08.560 in or what we've seen in the last 10 years whereas before it was more so like oh this is my group and

00:05:13.680 you know they're a couple they're a couple and it's like a couple's group more so maybe there's a third

00:05:17.520 wheel here and there but now it's like more single groups yeah that hang out so that's kind of like a

00:05:22.720 big increase in change that we've been seeing and so how does that um translate into like the places

00:05:29.280 that men should approach with because it used to go through like social groups so where would you

00:05:33.440 suggest they approach yeah social groups or third places right like universities churches that used to

00:05:38.160 be like the the number one place to approach now all online now all it's yeah it's majority online but

00:05:44.320 what i'll tell guys is you can meet a girl online but if you don't have your communication skills

00:05:48.880 you're gonna have to go out with her and see in person you might look cool online and then you're

00:05:52.880 gonna meet her and you're oh he's a loser you know so anywhere you see a girl you're attracted to

00:05:58.320 it could be the grocery store the target the gym the club the bar the coffee shop yeah wherever lounge

00:06:04.800 cocktail lounge cigar lounge it doesn't matter she could be your you know your hostess your waitress wherever

00:06:10.160 but i i advise guys to always go for it always because you don't know when you're gonna see her

00:06:14.320 again so it's anywhere i don't really want to say there's a particular venue to do it i just want

00:06:18.880 to say just be ready at all times just be ready at all times um obviously if you're looking for

00:06:22.480 hookups bars clubs those are the best um if you're looking for something serious go to events and meetups

00:06:28.880 and activities that fit with your lifestyle you know if you're into cycling go to cycling classes

00:06:34.560 right um if you're into running run clubs are huge now whatever fits your lifestyle you know um

00:06:41.120 if you're into the gym go to the mr olympia or something like that okay and then approach women

00:06:45.280 there something that fits your lifestyle but if you're looking for hookup bars clubs nothing beats

00:06:49.280 that online is also really easy to hook up with girls that you meet online like hinge your tinder all

00:06:55.040 those things um are the guys now is it mostly like drinks i've heard some guys are doing like movies

00:07:01.520 at their place and they go straight to is that a ducy that is that thing so like what's the what's

00:07:08.320 the close rate usually of good question so for the average guy because i talk to guys like this all day

00:07:14.560 literally like three or four yeah that i'm talking to um the average guy i kid you not gets very few

00:07:21.760 matches yeah of course yeah right and out of that maybe he gets one date two dates a month

00:07:27.840 mm-hmm right and then out of that maybe he sleeps with one every three months okay a couple months

00:07:34.400 right one of the things i like this is just once or do they keep coming i've heard some guys their

00:07:38.960 problem is like they can sleep with them but they can't get the girl to commit well i was like what

00:07:44.640 are we living in this world right where the girl is just walking away after giving out the ship was

00:07:49.440 telling me about one of his friends he's like yeah he'll bang these like hot women and they just he

00:07:53.440 like wants a girlfriend yeah and he's like they won't yeah the girls are the dogs nowadays yeah

00:08:00.400 the girls are the dogs i'm like damn they won't what a what a sick society we live in no but um

00:08:06.240 it's like you don't want to get breakfast they're like no i'm yearning for a relationship he's like

00:08:11.200 you don't want to like i'm just a walking stick of meat for you unbelievable yeah um no but it it is

00:08:19.360 tough for for guys i think retaining the relationship i think what happens with that

00:08:23.600 the guys that are saying that are the guys who only get one girl i think so it's uh it's already

00:08:28.960 a biased pool right because it's the guys that got one girl and they're so clinging and hung up on her

00:08:35.200 because they're that's the only option they had and they're like oh i can't retain them because they

00:08:38.400 only have that option right but if they had more options i could guarantee you they would probably

00:08:42.960 retain all of them no this like i don't i don't know if you've seen this but like i did it

00:08:49.600 i had guys on twitter send me their stats of like they slept with this many women yeah and how many

00:08:55.120 like wanted relationships and i found that like some guys it would be they would all all the girls

00:09:00.000 they slept with wanted relationships and some guys it was like out of 50 like none none so it was

00:09:05.120 it was very polarized it was binary that's that's the numbers i got you you you see more than i do

00:09:10.240 yeah so what i see with the guys is i mean if you're if you understand women properly yeah right

00:09:17.920 and she sleeps with you she's gonna want to come back all the time right i know i could hit up for

00:09:22.720 example right now right i could up any girl right and she'd be cool even if i spoke to her in a year

00:09:29.200 right so i know they all do want a relationship so once you understand women properly and not just

00:09:34.000 to hook up with them right if you look at dating like i'm gonna talk to her like i want to

00:09:39.920 long-term relationship and talk to her in that manner a hookup's gonna happen it's bound to

00:09:44.000 happen it's a it's an it's a side effect of being good long-term relationship material it's a hookup

00:09:49.600 right um so i think guys who can't retain that that girl it's i i think it's also it also merits

00:09:57.680 to look at their at the genetic pool you know what i mean it might be guys who are you know better

00:10:03.760 looking taller but they might not be good long-term relationship material you like the bartender that's

00:10:09.200 stuff exactly where the girl's like yeah he said he said he was a dj yeah yeah he's so hot or he

00:10:14.960 has like that yeah yeah where i kind of want that experience yeah and so that's all they want from

00:10:20.560 him right but i could give you like if he was a dj but he ran when he talked to her he was like he

00:10:25.920 didn't talk about being a dj just talked treated her like a long-term relationship she would have

00:10:29.760 came back oh really yeah 100 but i think that's what happens is like those guys that are saying that

00:10:35.200 they're kind of like that fun experience genetic type pool and then the girl has fun right but if

00:10:40.400 the girl would have realized oh my god not only is he a dj not only is he a bartender but he's also

00:10:44.800 like super sweet and i could see a relationship with him then they would have stuck around right

00:10:50.960 that's usually what i see when because i do coach guys believe they have that problem where they're

00:10:54.160 good-looking guys six foot four right total chats are like girls just don't want to you know stick

00:11:00.000 around and i get to know them like well yeah because you're a douchebag right you got to treat

00:11:03.520 them better right you got to be a long-term relationship material and they're not used to

00:11:07.360 that because girls just they don't have to do that right whereas a guy who doesn't get that

00:11:12.160 he has to lead with that oh so he's they're probably like they're something's wrong with their long-term

00:11:16.640 personality exactly it's like they're attractive oh so they're attractive in the beginning but the

00:11:21.600 long-term personality think about it like you go to work right you're wearing your work hat yeah and then you

00:11:26.400 come home now you have to change her to your husband hat yeah right it's the same thing in

00:11:30.560 long-term relationship you have your hookup hat the fun flirty guy oh i just want to you know

00:11:34.160 this guy he's so fun he's so hot he's so flirty but then you have those serious conversations with

00:11:39.120 her where like it makes you feel like oh we're talking about my past the future he's got ambitions

00:11:46.880 i could see myself as part of his journey right he switched hats from that you know fun flirty

00:11:51.680 fuck boy to that okay he could be boyfriend dating guy yeah right a lot of guys then she'll be

00:11:57.600 disappointed yeah and then he's like never mind oh god right but that's why they can't retain

00:12:04.000 because they forget to switch ads yeah they forget to switch ads so yeah sell the dream we're talking

00:12:09.440 about that um sell the dream do you ever like so if you have a girl that like you kind of want to go

00:12:15.600 away you ever just get like douchier like i'll tell you a story i'll tell you a story so there's

00:12:21.760 a point there's a point in my life where i was like i don't know if i should just ghost the girls

00:12:26.800 or tell them the truth and i asked the girls like do you want me to go see or do you want me to tell

00:12:31.360 you the truth and she's like tell me the truth i told her the truth she goes i would rather you've

00:12:35.280 ghosted me what did you say um i was like you know um i don't see myself with you long term it was

00:12:41.760 already like six seven months i was and she's already getting like what are we yeah and she's

00:12:46.000 like i don't see myself you know with you long term i just you have a lot of issues yeah what were the

00:12:53.280 she didn't have a father figure okay yeah right and it's just like it's just a lot of work you know

00:12:58.960 um and i'm willing to put in the work but not ask like it's too much right and i do feel like your

00:13:04.080 you know conflict resolution it's not it's not there right the accountability is not there

00:13:09.520 and so i was honest and um she's like yeah i'd rather you just ghosted me but i think because

00:13:14.800 i told her that she she actually ended up being in a long-term relationship so i think i helped her

00:13:18.320 wait you dated her after that no no she ended up being oh she dated someone else she dated someone

00:13:23.040 else exactly and so i think i helped her i like to call you and say thank you or what no she should

00:13:28.720 right what a jerk uh but yeah so you know i do think it it helps telling him the truth it definitely

00:13:35.840 does hurt yeah so um so do you now like yeah what do you do now do you um most girls i just

00:13:44.560 kept being saying like hey i just don't see us long term most girls will understand they don't

00:13:48.480 want to know the truth as long as you tell them that they're okay with that they're like okay i get

00:13:53.520 it you know and how long does it take for them to like ask some girls are the more the faster you let

00:14:02.240 them into your lifestyle the faster they'll ask right so i'll give you one example on the very

00:14:10.080 fast end like let's say a month or two um she's coming over once a week right and if you have a

00:14:15.600 work trip maybe you took her with you to work trip right maybe you're going on to dinner once a week

00:14:20.880 and she's staying over and now you've seen her twice a week right and then you're going over to her

00:14:25.200 house right um you talk to her about your business or work or whatever the more you let her into your

00:14:30.560 life the faster they'll ask for a title so if you don't let her into your life as much you take her

00:14:36.000 out to dinner once but she's never seen your house your apartment right she's never stayed over oh you

00:14:41.440 get what i'm saying um and you're kind of like slower to bring her into your lifestyle right she

00:14:48.000 doesn't meet your parents or like she doesn't even know a thing about your parents then it takes longer

00:14:52.800 but on average probably like seven eight months is when they're like what are we it's actually

00:14:57.520 longer than i thought yeah yeah yeah but i mean you're just stretching that you know you're just

00:15:03.840 stringing them along right it's kind of like you're giving them relationship benefits without the title

00:15:08.400 yeah it's giving someone a title at work without the salary increase

00:15:13.520 the journey maybe someday and so that's kind of how it works right um do you ever get like them

00:15:19.760 vindictive because like i know a lot of guys are kind of do you know you know like women are not

00:15:25.840 have you watched cga ever no so he has this um he has this phrase called all men pay okay so like

00:15:35.280 because the women like eventually will make you pay yeah yeah like do you ever find that like a

00:15:40.560 vindictive girl like tries to ruin your reputation yeah crazy yeah all the time

00:15:49.680 no listen they said never show her where you live is that a strategy no so like to like i mean if

00:15:56.880 you're gonna hook up with their girl she's probably gonna take her back to your place

00:16:00.080 well you can go to hers right you go to hers but this is what i'll tell guys it's always safer to go

00:16:04.800 back to yours because you don't know you know who might be crazy she might have a crazy ex for all you

00:16:09.280 know oh okay so it's always safer at your place but um that being said and done uh what was the

00:16:16.880 question to vindictive right yeah um yeah so girls once they're in love with you they will go above and

00:16:22.480 beyond to make sure no one else can get you and one of those ways is by ruining your reputation right

00:16:28.400 because think about it they can't do anything physically but they can sure as hell hurt your

00:16:32.720 reputation your brand right i mean you see this throughout history right name a successful man that

00:16:38.240 hasn't been women do it to me and i'm not even dating them it's insane they have so much power

00:16:44.720 but yeah name a successful man that hasn't been hurt by that stuff it's almost impossible do you ever

00:16:50.400 get guys that are really like neurotic about that happening like they don't want to approach because

00:16:54.480 of that sort of thing yeah you definitely have some ptsd in there um but you have to realize too

00:17:01.280 if you go in with with good intentions like not being a psychopath right oh i'm gonna sleep with

00:17:08.960 as many women as possible and you go in with like okay i'm gonna treat her right right and i'm gonna

00:17:13.840 do all these things and make her feel good and i'm actually looking if i sleep with her i'm actually

00:17:17.840 looking for a relationship if you go with those intentions nothing's gonna happen women are very

00:17:22.560 understanding where it's like oh okay you know i'm not going to do anything crazy most women won't do

00:17:27.120 anything crazy but the ones that do do something crazy you know it's a tail end what's like the

00:17:31.920 craziest thing that's happened to you um i had a girl who put she put all when i had my personal

00:17:40.320 instagram she put all the girls that were following me and all the girls are i was following she put

00:17:45.120 them like in her close stories and then she put like pictures of me and her um just be like oh i'm

00:17:50.960 so glad we're dating just like a bunch of stuff and then she dm'd every single one boom boom boom she's

00:17:55.680 like hey do you know how do you know jesse did they respond yeah a lot of them responded but a

00:18:00.240 lot of them a lot of them were cool with me and they're like she's weird why is she doing this

00:18:03.920 should i block her and i was like yeah just block her but um after that some girls posted me on

00:18:08.480 tiktok just be like like you know this guy was late to my date and i didn't know she posted me until

00:18:14.320 like someone sent me the video i was like oh great wait that you were that was it that was late to the

00:18:18.800 date that's it yeah how late were you so like an hour okay but like yeah they got a tiktok video

00:18:25.600 yeah and she got like two like a lot did you hook up with her yeah we've been dating for like

00:18:31.040 for a month or so okay for like three days but still like that's crazy yeah that is for an hour

00:18:37.200 and like i thought she was cool like i've known her so women if they are neurotic and they are crazy

00:18:43.280 they are crazy they will do it right but the average is not are there like signs that you look

00:18:48.800 for early on yeah like so what how how tempered her reactions are you know so maybe not to things

00:18:56.880 you do but to things in during her day okay so if she's out and about right and they're late on her

00:19:04.160 starbucks or she's getting lashes done and they don't do them well and she overreacts like overreacts

00:19:10.080 by a lot oh she gets really mad she gets really mad that means her emotions fluctuate to one end

00:19:14.400 or the other right it's kind of like bipolar a little bit um but that's that's really what it is

00:19:20.000 right um tattoos are a huge sign of that as well so what's the worst ones have you seen any really

00:19:27.200 crazy ones i personally don't because i i steer clear of them yeah i do know guys who have they said

00:19:35.520 that's the ssris yeah you're looking girls medicine i know it's just going low key though yeah

00:19:44.480 go in the cabinet see what you find um take pictures google it real quick but yeah there's i mean

00:19:51.360 yeah those girls that are crazy are extremely crazy yeah right they're like psychotic have you had like

00:19:57.040 clients go through that at all like yeah well what i see is because guys don't open up much right so i

00:20:04.240 have to kind of like dig it out of them but the most common ones we see with those type of women

00:20:09.360 just like very neurotic women is guys who went through like a divorce like a really rough divorce

00:20:16.400 right um in their 40s or 50s and they tell me about it and the whole time they don't realize

00:20:23.040 they're dating just a super narcissistic neurotic female right you see that a lot but they're blind

00:20:28.560 to because that's the only girl they've ever dated they think all girls are like that it's a norm

00:20:33.120 right but you also have guys who attract that type of girl because they are neurotic themselves okay

00:20:39.280 because you you attract what you what you are and so you see that mostly kind of like in the industry

00:20:44.960 right like with bartenders bottle girls that type of industry like you know um that's where a lot of

00:20:51.360 neurotic people hang um just because like it's very yeah it's just very dopamine driven oh okay you know

00:20:57.920 what i mean like that those type of of places um and it's okay to overreact in those places

00:21:05.360 you know because everything's so loud all the people are drinking you can kind of just say you're

00:21:08.720 drunk exactly yeah it's it's there's always some thing you could blame it on right well i was drunk or

00:21:15.680 he was just or you blame it on the other person it's just like i had such a long day and like it makes

00:21:20.320 it acceptable to be neurotic right and so that's what you see in the industry a lot those people

00:21:27.920 you

Pearl - May 28, 2025

Understanding Female Psychology in Modern Dating w⧸ @Mr.DatingCoach ｜ THE SITDOWN

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