Pearl - August 05, 2026


We Went To A Lutheran Church and Were SHUNNED


Episode Stats


Length

44 minutes

Words per minute

168.97

Word count

7,503

Sentence count

359


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 I will listen to you next time when we talk about things.
00:00:04.340 No, no, no, no, no, no. Just, just period.
00:00:06.880 Okay, I'll listen to you.
00:00:08.580 There you go.
00:00:11.080 Are you, you're going to do an answer or no? Just a picture.
00:00:16.040 Oh, do you trust that your husband follows God?
00:00:20.320 My husband is not a believer.
00:00:22.000 What's up, guys? Welcome to my YouTube channel.
00:00:24.060 Today, we are at Trinity Lutheran Church asking the people the question,
00:00:27.880 should Christian women obey their husbands? Yes, no, why or why not? I'm excited to see
00:00:33.040 what the people of the church have to say today. Also, before we get started, make sure
00:00:36.940 you fill out the Google form in the description. If you want to come to one of our private
00:00:41.040 dinners, you can get more information or you can actually buy a ticket in the second link
00:00:46.260 in the description. Thanks for watching guys. Let's get started. Do you have 30 seconds
00:00:50.420 to tell me what you guys believe here about obedience? No right or wrong answers. We just
00:00:54.200 try to figure out what people believe at different churches?
00:00:58.140 Obedience?
00:00:58.720 Yeah.
00:00:59.540 So we ask people if they believe in more modern relationships at their churches
00:01:03.640 or more traditional.
00:01:05.280 So a traditional point of view would be, you know,
00:01:07.820 women should obey their husbands.
00:01:09.440 A more modern would be it's a more egalitarian model.
00:01:12.180 Would you mind telling me what you guys believe?
00:01:15.360 No?
00:01:16.000 No?
00:01:16.760 All right.
00:01:17.540 No, we believe in it's all.
00:01:19.200 I mean, everything.
00:01:19.760 You know, I think we believe that marriage is sanctity.
00:01:23.980 Okay.
00:01:24.200 And that we also believe that we're a modern society.
00:01:27.760 Things have changed.
00:01:28.840 Okay.
00:01:30.060 Does that help?
00:01:30.960 So if someone wanted to get married in this church, what would they expect?
00:01:35.080 Like if a young man came, would his wife obey him or is it more of a partnership?
00:01:39.880 Partnership.
00:01:40.700 Okay, so it's egalitarian.
00:01:42.260 Yeah.
00:01:42.500 Okay, all right, thank you.
00:01:44.180 You caught me all going.
00:01:46.660 Hello, ma'am.
00:01:48.380 Do you have 30 seconds to tell me what you guys believe here about obedience?
00:01:51.620 no right or wrong answers
00:01:54.500 we just go to different churches
00:01:55.580 trying to figure out what they believe
00:01:57.020 been to 10 different churches in Dallas already
00:01:59.400 oh wow
00:02:00.140 good answers
00:02:01.900 yeah I think so
00:02:03.880 I appreciate it
00:02:06.020 that's alright have a good one
00:02:07.940 you have 30 seconds to tell me
00:02:11.180 what you guys believe about obedience
00:02:12.380 here we go to different churches in Dallas
00:02:14.480 so I've been to 10 different churches
00:02:15.840 and we just ask people what they believe about obedience
00:02:18.520 I'd love to hear your take
00:02:19.900 you look like you got an opinion
00:02:21.100 I don't know if I can communicate it.
00:02:30.720 I don't think that there's any one gender that has the answers
00:02:36.160 and should be obeyed more than the other one
00:02:38.700 or that one should submit to the other one.
00:02:41.800 In my marriage, we're partners, and we make decisions together,
00:02:46.280 and I don't obey anyone but God.
00:02:51.100 So what do you guys do if there's a disagreement and you can't come to a conclusion?
00:02:56.780 I know everyone says there's a middle ground, but I think in marriage, you know, there are times where one person doesn't get their way.
00:03:04.020 So if there's no natural leader, how do you guys come to a conclusion?
00:03:08.400 You choose which things you want to go to battle against.
00:03:15.680 and you learn to give in to some things and to stick up for other things
00:03:21.260 and the other partner learns to do that too.
00:03:23.620 I don't think there's ever one person that says,
00:03:26.380 all right, we're disagreeing so it's going to be my way.
00:03:28.660 Why should one person get to say that over the other?
00:03:31.980 You have to work together.
00:03:33.520 That's what a marriage is about.
00:03:34.580 You work with each other to figure out what's best for your family,
00:03:38.600 not what's best for that one person
00:03:40.820 or make a decision that I know better than you do about what we should do right now.
00:03:45.680 And so what are some things that you have been able to compromise on over the years?
00:03:51.740 Everything, you know, everything that comes up.
00:03:55.020 A lot of times we do feel the same about it because we, you know, we work hard to understand each other
00:04:02.180 and know what's good, what works for one person and what doesn't work for the other one.
00:04:07.960 And we also work really hard to make each other happy.
00:04:10.920 So I'm happy to give in sometimes.
00:04:14.580 He's happy to give in sometimes because he knows that I'll do that,
00:04:19.360 and I know that he'll do that when it matters.
00:04:23.360 Do you trust that your husband follows God?
00:04:26.180 My husband is not a believer.
00:04:27.840 Oh, he's not a believer.
00:04:28.760 No.
00:04:29.080 Okay, so you don't trust that he follows God then?
00:04:31.280 I believe he believes in God deep down, but it's not part of his life like it is for me.
00:04:38.420 And do you try to convince him to come to church, or is it something that you just let him, you know?
00:04:43.800 That's his life.
00:04:45.740 You know, he sees what it does for me and how it helps me, but that's not what's important to him.
00:04:51.340 And so that's his choice.
00:04:53.340 Why do you think some churches believe that women should obey their husbands and some don't?
00:04:59.340 I think it's a misinterpretation of biblical scripture.
00:05:03.040 So what scripture would you say they're misinterpreting?
00:05:06.140 I don't know off the top of my head. I'm afraid I don't know scripture that well, but I think
00:05:11.100 we take, I think over historically, because we live in a society where men have typically been
00:05:20.100 in charge, that's the way it was interpreted that they should also be in charge of the family and
00:05:25.740 that God has ordained it that way. I don't believe that that's true. And you think that's wrong?
00:05:30.320 I don't know that it's wrong. No. I mean, that's their choice. And again,
00:05:33.720 And everyone's faith is their own.
00:05:36.580 And if that's what you believe in, that works in your family.
00:05:40.340 And if you're comfortable letting your husband make the decision, a lot of families, that's more comfortable for women.
00:05:47.500 You know, and yes, it would be nice just to have somebody make all the decisions.
00:05:51.500 But I want to be a part of decision making, not just have it put on me.
00:05:56.940 But if that's what works in your family, then certainly.
00:05:59.620 Are there maybe traits, habits, or characteristics that you had going into marriage that you had to change over time?
00:06:10.280 I think because I'm such an independent person, it was hard for me to give up any kind of control.
00:06:16.200 and it was hard for me to work with another person
00:06:21.220 and have to, like I said, compromise on things
00:06:24.800 and sometimes give up what you want for the other person
00:06:28.000 because it's better for them or more important to them.
00:06:31.480 It was a hard thing for both of us to learn
00:06:34.040 because we were a little bit older when we got married
00:06:35.820 and so we were kind of, we had both been living on our own for a long time
00:06:39.620 and it was hard to merge that together and make decisions.
00:06:44.020 And then when we had our daughter, then a lot of things become about your child.
00:06:48.520 And so that was hard, too.
00:06:49.860 Are you guys happily married?
00:06:51.100 Oh, yeah.
00:06:51.380 We've been married for 35 years.
00:06:52.740 35 years.
00:06:53.340 Well, congratulations.
00:06:54.300 Thank you very much.
00:06:55.880 Do you know the priests in there, by chance?
00:06:58.900 There's two.
00:06:59.680 I don't know if they're both here today.
00:07:01.000 Okay.
00:07:01.700 If you don't mind mentioning, I'd love to interview them.
00:07:06.580 So if you're in there, feel free to mention it.
00:07:09.880 Sounds like they're finishing up the first service, so I'll let them know.
00:07:12.120 Okay.
00:07:12.480 All right.
00:07:12.820 Thank you.
00:07:13.240 i appreciate it good luck today thanks stay here in the shade yeah yeah how's it going ma'am you
00:07:20.300 got 30 seconds to tell me what you guys believe here i've been to 10 different churches in dallas
00:07:24.140 just getting their opinion on obedience you know you're at a an elca lutheran church which is more
00:07:34.720 liberal so we have a woman pastor okay yeah okay so you guys believe it should be an egalitarian
00:07:41.600 relationship i i would say so yeah so how do you guys have an egalitarian relationship um wouldn't
00:07:49.520 you say when there's a disagreement um how do you guys come to a final say in my marriage yeah oh
00:07:57.520 we just talk it out wouldn't that make it so the less reasonable person gets their way more
00:08:07.160 the one that's less willing to compromise
00:08:09.160 no well because if you have two people um and one person's willing to compromise and one isn't
00:08:19.380 you know it that's that's always my my pushback when they say it's equal how can how can really
00:08:24.840 how can any relate even a friendship right yeah there's always one person going driving to the
00:08:29.700 other more you know sometimes one person's one is more willing to give in on one issue and
00:08:35.460 and then we compromise and things go my way sometimes things go his way sometimes but it's
00:08:43.460 not like it's not like the relationship is a fight all the time right you know it's give and take
00:08:53.380 and love right but if one's person if one person is known to be unreasonable
00:08:59.660 wouldn't the other person just stop fighting is not how it usually goes
00:09:03.220 no i don't think so if he's being unreasonable i point out that he's being unreasonable
00:09:10.400 and we talk through it and sometimes
00:09:13.780 i don't know sometimes he gets his way and sometimes he doesn't but does he point out
00:09:19.840 when you're unreasonable too probably yeah yeah what are some of the biggest disagreements you
00:09:26.700 guys have had in marriage oh ouch is this being filmed disagreements um maybe just how we spend
00:09:35.820 our time um what hobbies are supposed to take up more of our time and i mean we haven't had a lot
00:09:46.760 of really serious arguments and disagreements so i maybe you guys he wants you to go fishing
00:09:52.280 or something golf oh no he um he likes to dig for fossils he likes to volunteer at a little
00:10:00.120 local museum the white settlement historical museum and um that's fine i even do that now
00:10:06.320 too because part of marriage is okay this is something he's interested in
00:10:10.360 i go over and i get interested in it too and i find my role there so um
00:10:17.160 what was the question again that's okay i was just asking what sorry i'm losing my voice a
00:10:25.120 little bit what some of the disagreements you guys have had are oh and how you how you get
00:10:28.840 through it you know yeah because you know people might if they want to come to this church want to
00:10:32.540 know what a relationship would look like um with another member of the church right right um i guess
00:10:39.680 when my aunt died in oklahoma there was a slight disagreement on whether or not he was coming he
00:10:46.240 just assumed he didn't have to and I I said it was very very important to me right and
00:10:51.600 he relented and said okay fine he said fine we'll plan this we'll we'll all go it's fine
00:10:58.800 oh is there a time where maybe you did that for him I think so yeah yeah you know a part of a
00:11:06.640 marriage part of a good marriage is trying not to dwell on the things that have happened in the past
00:11:11.840 So you work through things, you start over.
00:11:15.120 And you get over it.
00:11:15.960 Yeah, you get over it.
00:11:17.220 You don't complain, you just get on, right?
00:11:20.200 Right, right.
00:11:20.540 Well, you know, I'm sure there are times when it comes back to me,
00:11:24.620 oh yeah, that time that, you know.
00:11:26.280 But you try not to do that.
00:11:28.840 So do you think that there's physical differences between the genders?
00:11:32.540 Like men are stronger than women?
00:11:35.840 Yes.
00:11:37.120 So would you say that there's temperament differences between men and women?
00:11:41.320 where women are more emotional than men yeah i think so yeah i think so it's i mean it's hormonal
00:11:50.040 that way but not not to the extreme i guess that some people would say a woman can't be president
00:11:58.760 because she's too emotional but i mean look at what we have now you know yeah you know yeah he's
00:12:04.880 he's way emotional oh yeah yeah yeah no not my husband the president oh the president
00:12:11.020 Yeah, I mean, yeah, Trump's a mess.
00:12:15.660 What's he doing?
00:12:16.800 I don't really follow it.
00:12:18.120 I don't know.
00:12:18.580 You don't follow politics?
00:12:19.440 Oh, you should, because the country's in trouble.
00:12:21.940 Oh, it's in trouble?
00:12:22.640 Yeah.
00:12:23.680 You don't follow politics?
00:12:24.960 Not really.
00:12:27.360 Okay.
00:12:28.000 I just do my church interviews.
00:12:29.620 Okay.
00:12:30.300 All right.
00:12:32.460 Well, he's got us in a war that we don't need to be in right now, and...
00:12:40.440 Well, you didn't want me to be talking politics.
00:12:42.480 Yeah, that's okay.
00:12:43.020 That's okay.
00:12:43.340 We can go back to the church stuff.
00:12:44.940 Okay.
00:12:45.420 Yeah, because I guess my question is, if women are more emotional than men,
00:12:48.480 couldn't that be problematic long-term?
00:12:51.960 Because if we're emotional, they're less emotional.
00:12:55.640 Then isn't he just going to be in a hamster wheel of our emotions
00:12:58.440 and always giving us our way?
00:13:03.300 No, I don't think so.
00:13:04.980 I mean I think we're both kind of emotional about certain things so okay so you think it's
00:13:12.700 more equal I think it's more equal at least for us okay you know there probably are marriages
00:13:17.640 where one person is more strong-willed than the other sorry I'm happy so no it's okay so what um
00:13:29.240 why is it when I go to churches there's such a difference in answers when it comes to this
00:13:34.280 question so like why do you think those churches say that women should be subservient to men and
00:13:40.220 obey their husbands where I come to churches like this when everybody's reading the same bible so
00:13:45.220 if someone's not religious and they're looking at this you know it's very confusing because all the
00:13:50.780 churches say they're right and that the other is misinterpreting so what do you think the other
00:13:55.060 places have wrong is there maybe scripture to back up what you are saying well I guess it all
00:14:01.980 boils down to how literally scripture is taken and the writings of Paul in particular talk about
00:14:12.300 women being subservient to men and you know it's like maybe Paul just had issues you know so I
00:14:20.760 wait so how how is that how could he just have issues if he wrote the bible you know like it's
00:14:27.220 I'm not that religious, but from a non-religious person, it's kind of confusing when the person
00:14:33.140 that wrote the Bible...
00:14:35.080 He wrote part of the New Testament, not the entire Bible.
00:14:39.420 Yeah, I know not the whole thing, but parts of it.
00:14:43.200 Doesn't that kind of lead you to just pick and choose which ones you want and which ones
00:14:46.740 you don't?
00:14:47.180 Well, that's the problem with the churches and why we have so many denominations, is
00:14:51.940 that people want to pick and choose what they believe and that's how we end up in different
00:14:58.940 places different places and different beliefs and even within the christian church yeah it's
00:15:06.440 it's not one big happy family you know but um
00:15:13.540 yeah i don't know i mean i believe in the bible i believe that it's inspired by god but
00:15:21.180 I don't believe that, for example, the world was created in seven 24-hour days.
00:15:30.800 I'm more in tune with science, and the earth is billions and billions of years old,
00:15:36.740 not necessarily 5,000 or whatever.
00:15:39.940 Some denominations try to count back according to the Bible.
00:15:45.600 And I'm like, well, but the Bible also says that to the Lord, a day is like a thousand years or, you know, whatever.
00:15:57.500 So time to God is different than time to us.
00:16:02.720 Did you want to try to talk to other people?
00:16:05.340 Well, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it.
00:16:07.720 I hope that was helpful.
00:16:08.600 Yeah, it was helpful. Yeah, it was. Thank you.
00:16:10.420 I'm just going to get a picture of your beautiful side of there.
00:16:12.720 are you you're gonna do an answer or no just a picture this morning oh oh it was before you
00:16:20.540 set up so i'm good all right and my answer is no no okay um so do you guys believe here that
00:16:27.440 christian women should obey their husbands define obey um submit to define submit defer to you know
00:16:35.940 like if i go to work and um i i wear this is a personal channel but i used to work in sales
00:16:42.040 and I said I want to go door to door sales and they told me no you have to do the phones I said
00:16:46.200 okay yes sir so that was employee employer right relationship right um but I you know some people
00:16:54.180 have a similar setup in their marriage some don't so what do you think what do you think
00:16:59.320 I think that that uh the husband and wife should consult with each other a lot and and uh but
00:17:09.980 And sometimes, and I think in rare occasions, when the two discuss it and they just can't totally agree that the wife should defer to the husband on some things.
00:17:30.120 But that's usually just a two-way thing.
00:17:33.140 But once in a while when the two can't agree, I think the wife should defer to the husband.
00:17:39.020 And we've been married for 18 years, and how often has that happened?
00:17:42.240 Very rarely.
00:17:44.420 Christian husbands should also submit to their wives.
00:17:47.760 Right, but someone's got to have a final say, right?
00:17:52.180 For example, because if we say it's equal,
00:17:55.960 then don't you think that just makes the unreasonable person get their way more?
00:17:59.600 Because the person that's less willing to compromise is just going to get their way.
00:18:05.240 But see, that's taking it out of the Christian realm.
00:18:08.300 That's taking it out.
00:18:10.000 That is a personality issue between two people.
00:18:13.640 That's taking it out of this statement.
00:18:17.140 There's no Christians that aren't willing to compromise ever?
00:18:20.340 No, that's not what I'm saying.
00:18:21.600 We compromise a lot.
00:18:22.520 I'm saying that if one person is a stronger personality,
00:18:27.880 then we're talking about something that is maybe not encompassed here.
00:18:32.660 I learned a long time ago to listen carefully to my wife
00:18:36.160 because she has a lot of wisdom.
00:18:38.980 And so I do listen to her carefully.
00:18:42.060 That doesn't mean I do everything she says.
00:18:45.200 And do you listen carefully to him as well?
00:18:48.860 Yeah.
00:18:49.840 Yeah.
00:18:50.900 It works.
00:18:52.520 What lessons have you guys learned that maybe you didn't know before getting married to each other?
00:19:04.140 Excuse me.
00:19:04.940 that I learned when she really, really means it.
00:19:14.340 It took years to learn that.
00:19:16.760 But I finally figured out, okay, she really meant that when she said it.
00:19:20.120 Okay.
00:19:21.120 What about you?
00:19:22.780 Oh, I can't think of anything.
00:19:26.260 You learned anything?
00:19:27.500 Well, I learned a lot.
00:19:30.100 Consistency.
00:19:31.080 Okay.
00:19:31.880 Consistency is real important.
00:19:33.160 And, like, communication and...
00:19:38.160 Consistency.
00:19:39.540 Okay.
00:19:40.920 And knowing I can rely on him 100%.
00:19:44.680 And he knows he can rely on me 100%.
00:19:47.640 Awesome.
00:19:49.060 I've been to 10 different churches in Dallas, and I ask people what they believe.
00:19:52.960 You got 30 seconds?
00:19:54.520 I didn't hear. I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.
00:19:56.020 I've been to 10 different churches in Dallas, and I ask what they believe about obedience.
00:20:00.620 Do you have 30 seconds to tell what you guys believe here?
00:20:04.340 About what? Obedience?
00:20:06.020 I want to know if you guys believe, should Christian women obey their husbands?
00:20:09.940 And tell me why or why not.
00:20:12.800 I believe that Christian women should obey Jesus Christ and the God that we believe in.
00:20:18.940 Well, what if they have a husband that's following God?
00:20:21.040 Then should they obey him?
00:20:22.340 God is first. Husbands are second.
00:20:24.460 Okay, so it goes, God, husband, family, church, community.
00:20:30.620 the world. And then when does he come in? Who? The husband. Is he below? He's second. Oh, so he's
00:20:36.240 second. I said God, husband, family, the church, community, and the world. Oh, okay. So by that
00:20:43.700 logic, then you should obey him? You obey God first. Right. But if he's second, then wouldn't
00:20:50.400 you obey him? Obey him how? If he tells you to do something, do it. Well, as long as it's good
00:20:57.720 with god and he obeys you jesus i mean husbands and jesus and god and wives believe uh obey each
00:21:05.900 other right but you wouldn't pick a husband that doesn't obey god right that's correct yeah so
00:21:10.920 if you picked a husband that's obeying god wouldn't it make sense for you to obey him
00:21:15.140 i think you need to they need to i don't know what you mean by obey listen to defer to his
00:21:23.880 judgment well if you discuss it because isn't a marriage equal don't you both have to be on the
00:21:30.060 cart you can't both you have to both be like you're like horses on a cart or are two people
00:21:35.700 equal ever yes i'm taller than you you know does that not but am i are you i'm stronger than you
00:21:41.100 you're i don't know if that's true i don't know that's true but i'm older than you you can tell
00:21:46.940 that yeah but i'm saying make me more equal than you because i know more well i would say that
00:21:52.780 see people people are different and that they're never going to be two people that are equal ever
00:21:58.060 that's agreed yeah so it's just when I hear that at churches I just wonder how that can be true in
00:22:03.560 a marriage because um some I would imagine somebody has to have the final say you know
00:22:10.280 like because there's going to be points where you both disagree but don't you have to agree on the
00:22:14.460 final say no okay well that's sure but that's what you just like I'm I'm I'm saying there's
00:22:20.900 times where both people are going to disagree. Right. But in a marriage, don't you compromise
00:22:26.860 and agree then? If you're reasonable, but you don't, you know. Why wouldn't you marry a man
00:22:32.940 that was reasonable? Okay, I'll give you an example. I'm sorry. I'll give you an example,
00:22:38.340 maybe, that'll make it easier. I don't know what you want me to say. So, like, let's say the man
00:22:44.260 wants to send the kids to a public school and the woman wants to send the kids to private school.
00:22:48.720 Neither choice is not following God, right?
00:22:52.180 And they both probably have their reasons for the choice.
00:22:54.820 Maybe the husband wants to save money so they can do extracurriculars.
00:22:58.680 This is a common disagreement.
00:23:00.400 I do these interviews a lot where the wife wants the private school
00:23:04.280 because she thinks it's a better education for the kids.
00:23:07.260 They both disagree.
00:23:08.180 But you discuss it.
00:23:08.860 Right, but if at the end of the day they disagree, there's no discussion.
00:23:15.220 One person thinks one thing, one person thinks the other.
00:23:18.040 who gets the final say? There has to be someone. I don't know because I'm not married and if I was
00:23:24.820 married my husband and I would discuss it until we both agreed. Yeah wouldn't you think that's
00:23:29.340 just like fighting forever though? Well I don't know. Wouldn't it be easier if someone had the
00:23:33.380 final say? Well I don't know when you have negotiations when there's a war or there's a
00:23:37.880 conflict don't you discuss it until there is a final compromise? Yeah but the the commander in
00:23:43.440 chief that we vote for gets the final say not when he's not when he's if you sit down with
00:23:48.520 say a warring faction then you discuss it till in the end and then you have a final say there's no
00:23:54.240 final say in a compromise just like in the vietnam war it took them a long time but they
00:23:58.540 finally decided right but somebody has to make the final decision well they have to agree on it though
00:24:03.560 not yeah not necessarily well i mean yeah maybe they maybe that's what you think but that's not
00:24:10.000 what I think. Yeah. Well, listen, these, these gallons are pretty heavy. Yeah, I understand. Thanks for doing it. You're okay. You're okay. You're having a really nice day. You too. Okay. I'd shake your hand, but I got water in my hand. Yeah, that's all right. Have a good one. How's it going, ma'am? You had actually not to upset our parishioners and they're starting to come in upset. So I just need to remind you that we're allowing you to stand here. So be kind. Oh, we are being pretty polite, actually. But this is public property when we're on the sidewalk. So I respect your rights. Okay.
00:24:38.180 do you want to do you want to answer the question is there something wrong with the question
00:24:44.800 no not at all oh so what's the problem why are we upset i don't get it nobody said anything to me
00:24:53.300 okay you think they're equal and everything well yeah most things i mean i don't believe
00:25:12.700 that women should have to put up with a trans men on their sports team right but that's the
00:25:18.960 only distinction between lbgqt or whatever they are you know that i see and you know if they want
00:25:25.540 to be something they should be something they shouldn't obey their husbands just because they
00:25:28.880 say no you can't do that can that ever be a issue because women are more emotional than men
00:25:33.660 you know like we tend to make more impulse decisions so for example i grew up with 10
00:25:39.800 siblings so five boys five girls yeah so i saw a lot of difference yeah so um uh you know the
00:25:46.300 Girls always are buying things on Amazon, but men don't really spend money like that.
00:25:51.460 So, you know, could it ever be an issue where, you know, just as an example, the woman's spending too much money,
00:25:56.160 if you never tell her no, you know, you could get into debt as a family.
00:25:59.020 Well, that's not obeying, okay?
00:26:01.640 You're just pointing out to her that there's a money issue here, and we have to be careful.
00:26:06.660 Yeah, but, you know, just my experience is not as simple as saying that, because usually, you know, they'll just keep spending.
00:26:14.180 Work with my wife.
00:26:14.560 okay so you tell her to stop and she does well I didn't say stop what I said was
00:26:18.900 if we keep spending like this we're gonna run out of money so you just have
00:26:22.560 to look at it going forward and make your right decisions okay and that
00:26:25.600 works for you okay and so then there was no money issues going forward we
00:26:30.400 actually had no fights about money really that's great unusual yeah we had
00:26:35.880 basically the same feeling we owned our own business for 16 years we started out
00:26:40.960 with three people in my garage okay my wife myself and her brother and we went to 300 employees in
00:26:49.160 three different states three different locations and uh in 16 years we just built it out of nothing
00:26:55.280 well we had to be on the same page from a monetary standpoint and we had never gotten there because
00:27:00.800 my fear was that i wouldn't be able to make the same work and pay for my family yeah so what
00:27:06.440 happens when you guys do have a disagreement i always hear compromise but you know there's got
00:27:12.480 to be times where there is no compromise i want one thing you want another thing what what do you
00:27:16.780 do okay well again you're talking an 80 year old person and my wife has turned 80 okay so we we have
00:27:22.760 conflicts okay because i have parkinson's disease and that means dementia is in effect and my wife
00:27:31.180 has Alzheimer's and we you know she's going along that path we can't sit there and talk to each
00:27:36.620 other the way a lot of you know husbands and wives do yeah because I can't accuse her of things
00:27:42.680 because she doesn't know I mean what she's doing and I have the same with me so we have to be on
00:27:48.880 the same page if we're not it's not good it really happens have you seen the times change when it
00:27:55.380 come to this when you guys first got married did people have more of a traditional mindset where
00:28:00.980 women should obey the men or was it egalitarian then too yeah we were at the 60s you know i mean
00:28:07.640 everything was changing women were coming into their own and you know it was just it was a
00:28:12.880 different time and i'm glad because i think it always should have been that way uh my father
00:28:19.360 never you know made my mother obey or anything like that i mean we never had that as a something
00:28:26.980 that you know we saw really that's interesting could you tell me a little more about your
00:28:31.080 parents marriage and what that was like uh because um it's just we're always wondering
00:28:36.900 what it was like in the past so yeah well of course he was born in 2000 or 1000 1907 she
00:28:44.360 was born in 19 no he was born 1905 she was born in 1907 so that is the old you know uh generation
00:28:53.880 They had different thoughts about different things,
00:28:57.240 but I never saw my father make my mother obey.
00:29:01.980 He never told her what to do, ever?
00:29:04.600 Did she ever tell him what to do?
00:29:08.340 Not that I recall.
00:29:15.500 Gossip is a sin.
00:29:18.040 Gossip is a sin.
00:29:20.200 It is a sin, so.
00:29:23.080 she's she's lying so I'm just saying and now you guys are supposed to teach no
00:29:31.320 nothing all right how's it going guys you got 30 seconds to tell me what you
00:29:37.520 guys believe here that is a very well coordinated outfit by the way that looks
00:29:42.080 very good you guys look very a lot of style pizzazz
00:29:48.280 Congo.
00:29:48.820 Congo.
00:29:49.400 Okay, I wouldn't have guessed that.
00:29:50.240 Is that the question you're asking me?
00:29:51.180 No, no, no.
00:29:51.940 So we want to know what you guys believe about submission and obedience here.
00:29:55.980 Do you believe that women should obey their husbands in marriage?
00:29:59.440 You would say yes.
00:30:00.380 Yes, I'm not married, but yes, they should obey their husband.
00:30:04.240 And, you know, you're the only person from this congregation that said that, actually.
00:30:08.280 Why do you think your answer is so different?
00:30:10.900 I think the husband is the head of the household.
00:30:14.700 I'm divorced, though, but I'm saying that.
00:30:16.620 they should obey their husband and is that common where you're from is it like a different mindset
00:30:23.020 overseas than here we have different cultures but i think if you follow the bible the bible say that
00:30:32.340 uh jesus is the is the head of the church so the husband have to be there
00:30:43.640 how so why do you think so many people have said it should be equal and how do you think
00:30:50.160 a relationship that's equal would work i never i never support a gender like 50 50 like in in
00:31:01.220 marriage it's i don't know maybe it's different culture but
00:31:05.860 if I obey him he have to obey me yes because if you don't obey him he's not gonna obey you
00:31:13.940 he's not gonna love you so it's not like because I I I'm some I'm submitting to him
00:31:22.440 he's not gonna obey me do you think it's okay to tell your husband to do chores
00:31:27.240 where I'm coming from no do you think American women are spoiled
00:31:35.000 I don't know.
00:31:35.860 You don't know?
00:31:36.540 I don't know.
00:31:39.280 Okay, why do you think women think it's...
00:31:42.400 They would never tell their boss what to do,
00:31:45.180 but they think it's okay to tell their husbands what to do?
00:31:50.460 I don't know.
00:31:51.520 You don't know?
00:31:51.940 I don't know.
00:31:56.020 Maybe because they're used to them.
00:31:58.680 It's the way they...
00:31:59.940 You know the way you start with your husband,
00:32:02.880 like boyfriend your boyfriend the way you start with him that's how you're gonna end like if you
00:32:09.700 start using to do not obey him you're not gonna obey him when he's your husband got it got it
00:32:15.700 well thank you so much i appreciate it no uh we ask people what they believe i've been to 12
00:32:20.560 different churches in dallas and we just ask what you guys believe about obedience and if you guys
00:32:26.520 believe in a more traditional relationships or more equal relationships um and this is about
00:32:32.860 children and this is about a marriage so should christian women obey their husbands in marriage
00:32:39.220 it should be equal partnership i believe you know i've i've been married once and and he had more
00:32:48.000 of a higher uh lupus his parents felt that i didn't have uh saying what needs to go on but
00:32:55.200 That's older school. I understand that.
00:32:58.700 But personally, I think that it should be equal in the sense that they talk it over,
00:33:08.780 figure out what they're going to do.
00:33:11.120 And I'm in a long-term relationship with the person I've been with,
00:33:15.460 and I forget that.
00:33:16.800 I'm very truthful because it happens.
00:33:22.000 But Christians, yes.
00:33:24.100 I think so what anybody Christians yes but anybody really they all need to work
00:33:30.880 together to figure out what's best regarding if they have kids or not what
00:33:37.600 you have or not if they're planning on it but sometimes it's unexpected that's
00:33:41.980 another thing that's unexpected but truthfully I think that it would be
00:33:47.020 helpful for everybody to work together to figure out what's going to happen in
00:33:50.680 the marriage so just going off and said well we're going to do this and it's like well isn't
00:33:59.520 it a little bit exhausting though you know having to talk out every decision wouldn't it be a little
00:34:04.000 easier somebody at the final say i i sometimes yes i would say there are certain things that
00:34:11.600 you know that you don't want to you both don't want to disagree on and you both know what they
00:34:17.820 kind of sort of know what they are already when you go into marriage do you think men are smarter
00:34:23.720 than women they have a little more wisdom it depends i say that is that you know uh my husband
00:34:31.780 and i when we first got married we're our first relationship we know he had another relationship
00:34:36.640 it just didn't work out you know but the second one with ours we've been together for a long long
00:34:41.820 time not married but still it you know yeah there's some things that i would say this he goes
00:34:48.340 but look this might be a better option and i think i'm like yeah might be a better option so
00:34:55.940 you know but there's some things i don't always agree on but i look in past or things i've done
00:35:02.700 in the past when i was married i'm like i think i'm going to agree on it because it does seem the
00:35:08.580 best you're right so yeah because i wonder if um we're in a more modern times but it seems like
00:35:15.100 traditional relationships work a little bit better because then you don't have to argue
00:35:20.040 somebody has a final say right and then if it goes wrong it's his fault it's not your fault
00:35:25.840 it's his fault that's true yeah i do agree with that yeah but you know you know um i've had both
00:35:33.460 i've had both so you've done traditional and modern yeah i mean this this the reason why
00:35:39.120 we've been together is that we just decided he tells everybody he goes hey we're happy the way
00:35:45.180 we are and i am too because my first marriage was great i went through a divorce that was tough
00:35:50.540 and so you know we just happened to get together and we just kind of been that way so what what
00:35:57.280 What caused the divorce?
00:35:59.640 He said that I was, we had grown separately.
00:36:05.100 We had different thoughts.
00:36:06.400 You grew apart.
00:36:07.280 Grew apart, right.
00:36:08.720 I kind of later found out that I was a little bit different.
00:36:11.780 And there was a situation at work that I was not aware of.
00:36:14.960 There was an affair type of...
00:36:16.400 I don't know about that.
00:36:17.480 I'm not going to even say that.
00:36:19.900 Because I'm not giving you my name or anything.
00:36:21.780 But it's just a difference.
00:36:23.440 And I just noticed that things had changed and stuff.
00:36:27.280 And then, you know, he, I walked in the door, I think, well, I worked, lived at home.
00:36:32.800 I didn't work.
00:36:34.120 And I also put a lot of stress on him, taking care of our son.
00:36:36.920 Okay.
00:36:37.280 And so, I remember.
00:36:38.640 So you were a stay-at-home mom?
00:36:39.700 Stay-at-home mom.
00:36:40.580 Okay.
00:36:40.740 Absolutely.
00:36:41.860 Yes.
00:36:43.000 And so, it just turned out that, you know, I believe right now that was the reason.
00:36:50.120 Because, you know, he moved in with her and stuff like that.
00:36:52.420 He told me he'd go stay with my mom, you know, one time when I walked in the door.
00:36:56.520 And I'm like, no, I don't know.
00:37:00.160 So you had a more traditional relationship.
00:37:02.360 It didn't work out.
00:37:03.120 And then you had a more modern one, you would say.
00:37:05.800 Yeah, I would go that route.
00:37:07.200 Yeah.
00:37:07.620 You know, like I said, a lot of people didn't think our relationship would work.
00:37:13.520 Just because we were two different people.
00:37:17.540 You know, and he's a great guy.
00:37:21.280 I love him to death.
00:37:22.500 I really do.
00:37:23.080 And he gets these spur-of-the-moment kind of thoughts that kind of pop up.
00:37:29.080 And I was just taught not to scream and holler.
00:37:35.080 And, you know, if a situation occurred, like going up, walk away from the situation that was bad.
00:37:42.400 But, you know, I mean, he's a guy, and he may have, but he may have not.
00:37:47.060 I don't know that relationship.
00:37:48.420 But now I think that if he got pushed or shoved, the situation got really bad, he would take action.
00:37:57.600 But, you know, as long as we've been together, there have been situations where we're among friends,
00:38:02.540 where something made me upset, which made him upset.
00:38:05.980 And, you know, and he didn't react.
00:38:10.340 Have you ever been in a situation as a woman where you wish your husband told you no about something?
00:38:15.400 Where he said yes, but deep down, after it happened, you thought, you know what, he actually knew best.
00:38:23.240 Maybe it could be spending, it could be, I don't know, just, has that ever happened or has that never happened?
00:38:30.000 It has happened now, and when I'm with the guy, my brother-in-law gave me suggestions for cars.
00:38:35.860 He found some good cars, but I like Hondas and Toyotas, and I got one car that we thought was good and turned out not to be really good.
00:38:44.400 So you wish he told you no, so you got the other car.
00:38:47.380 Right, you know, and I would have waited to a better option that came around.
00:38:52.260 But, you know, basically, you know, I have my brother-in-law's brother's son
00:39:00.820 had the little car that got over there, and it was a blessing
00:39:04.940 because I had my mom's little Honda 2000.
00:39:09.600 still runs good
00:39:11.620 still runs good
00:39:12.740 but it was just time
00:39:14.640 David said, you know, you're going to pay more
00:39:17.440 for parts and everything's like that
00:39:19.400 you know, longer than maybe a newer one
00:39:21.680 and
00:39:22.060 I kind of agree with him, that's what he told my mom
00:39:25.400 one time when she had a very, very own Honda
00:39:27.620 the condom with lights pop up
00:39:29.680 right, right
00:39:30.880 1990 condom, yeah, really old
00:39:33.520 she didn't want to give it up
00:39:34.900 but she eventually sold, she donated
00:39:37.440 to a group
00:39:38.100 and that made my sister upset a little bit that's a whole different reason why but going back to me
00:39:46.120 you know i i think the part would have been helpful that i got with some things he suggested
00:39:52.180 they're not yeah and i'm gonna be honest because you know i i had in my mind said what i wanted
00:39:58.640 and i wanted that time and you did you go back and tell him he was right no no do you want to
00:40:05.140 do it now you should call him he knows he goes you know he knows because he goes i told you that
00:40:12.100 wasn't a good option right you didn't listen to me had this and this and this chosen and and i've
00:40:19.040 heard stories about the u.s cars chevries and things like that and they they seem good but i
00:40:26.320 just have my i i've had such good luck on the other ones that i kind of stuck i myself and i
00:40:32.240 we started looking for them and he did look for some and he tried to find some good ones and
00:40:37.220 I looked at his and they were similar but the price ones I guess was a whole lot higher than
00:40:45.020 what I could do at the time yeah you know sometimes I had to get a car because I had to get a car
00:40:51.420 because I had to get to work riding the bus and walking two hours to two blocks four blocks to
00:40:57.200 work four blocks to back to but four blocks to home but i did have a year and a half so i mean
00:41:03.900 i'm not you know yeah i was a lot younger than that but but you know yes you know and i and he
00:41:13.300 goes you know i was right i go yeah you're right i sure don't miss so and like i said he's a great
00:41:20.120 guy and i know you're taping this oh you're not taping yes you are taping this yeah yeah so but
00:41:25.220 It's just for a podcast.
00:41:27.100 Yeah, yeah, just YouTube.
00:41:28.800 No, we ask people what they believe.
00:41:30.640 I've been to 12 different churches in Dallas.
00:41:33.140 And we just ask what you guys believe about obedience.
00:41:36.520 And if you guys believe in a more traditional relationships or more equal relationships.
00:41:42.380 And this is about children and...
00:41:45.660 This is about a marriage.
00:41:46.760 So should Christian women obey their husbands in marriage?
00:41:50.940 It should be equal partnership.
00:41:52.840 I believe.
00:41:53.500 You know, I've been married once, and he had more of a higher, his parents felt that I didn't have a say in what needs to go on.
00:42:05.740 But that's older school.
00:42:07.620 I understand that.
00:42:09.380 But personally, I think that it should be equal in the sense that they talk it over, figure out what they're going to do.
00:42:20.980 And I'm in a long-term relationship with the person I've been with.
00:42:26.180 And I forget that.
00:42:27.800 I'm very truthful because it happens.
00:42:32.700 But, you know, but Christians, yes.
00:42:34.980 I think so.
00:42:35.820 What anybody in the law suggests on a vehicle, then probably make my own judgments.
00:42:43.760 So you won't.
00:42:44.580 I will try my best.
00:42:47.160 And he knows this, you know.
00:42:48.740 It's hard to break old habits.
00:42:50.580 And I'm going to tell you, I'm the first one to agree with that.
00:42:54.860 I've been to the car thing was kind of one of those situations.
00:42:59.580 I had my mind set.
00:43:00.940 He's just the other ones.
00:43:02.260 I've tried them.
00:43:02.980 I drove them.
00:43:03.900 They feel good.
00:43:05.200 But they just didn't.
00:43:07.300 I don't know.
00:43:08.100 There's something.
00:43:08.720 Let's try it again.
00:43:09.460 Let's try it again.
00:43:10.740 Let's try it again.
00:43:12.180 Let's try it again.
00:43:12.980 I will listen to you next time.
00:43:15.100 I will listen to you next time before I make a decision.
00:43:18.840 Even though I get all the same.
00:43:20.240 No, you're out of the pot.
00:43:21.860 It's got to be period.
00:43:23.000 I will listen to you next time when we talk about things.
00:43:27.280 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:28.320 Just period.
00:43:29.780 Okay, I'll listen to you.
00:43:31.520 There you go.
00:43:34.780 You're a wonderful person.
00:43:37.100 I don't mind talking to you.
00:43:38.640 You're a good person being with her, doing the camera and everything.
00:43:42.460 I know we're still being recorded, so you all both take care.
00:43:45.780 Okay.
00:43:46.160 And thank you.
00:43:46.980 I don't know how many more people you're going to get until our church gets off.
00:43:50.240 are you for this church yes yeah i was heading back in all right so take care take care don't
00:43:57.960 believe what they say about me all right guys another day and i would say the majority of the
00:44:02.160 answers are a more egalitarian as an equal worldview i wonder when i'll get to a church
00:44:07.540 which gives me traditional answers if you want to support me please there's a link in the
00:44:13.140 description you can donate um you can join our memberships or even meet me at a private dinner
00:44:18.840 that caps out at 10 people so if you want like the video subscribe and I'll see you guys next time