Pearl - September 26, 2024


What Will WOMEN Sacrifice for A HUSBAND？＂ ｜ Pearl Daily


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 6 minutes

Words per minute

152.38858

Word count

10,077

Sentence count

265

Harmful content

Misogyny

96

sentences flagged

Toxicity

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

37

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of Pearl Daily, I talk about why I don t think women can have it all, and how to cope with it. I also talk about how to deal with the guilt that comes from not being a good mother.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 All right, good afternoon, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
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00:00:15.720 Daily.
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00:00:57.000 from behind the scenes it's a lot of fun that sort of thing so we always do that after the
00:01:01.580 show okay so today's gonna be a little different of a show so I saw a clip of the CEO of Pepsi
00:01:18.140 talking about if women can have it all I saw another clip of Michelle Obama talking about
00:01:24.880 if women have it all, could have it all.
00:01:28.200 And this is a phrase I think the media and movies have really pushed, that women can 0.79
00:01:39.920 work, they can be good mothers, and they can do it all at the same time. 0.89
00:01:46.260 And I wanted to see the women that supposedly had it all, they have careers, their mothers, 1.00
00:01:53.400 wives I wanted to predict if they agreed that you can in fact have it all because that is 0.80
00:02:00.500 what the media pushes and that is what we as women are pushed to do. 0.93
00:02:04.940 I don't know many 18, 19, 20 year old homemakers but I do know that most women go and get jobs 0.96
00:02:12.020 or go to college that is what is normal. 0.88
00:02:15.120 And what they don't tell you is life is about choices and tradeoffs.
00:02:19.580 And so I wanted to start by showing this video of the CEO of Pepsi talking about if she thinks
00:02:29.860 women can have it all. 1.00
00:02:36.240 Oh, this is my fault. 1.00
00:02:41.660 I don't think women can have it all. 1.00
00:02:47.040 I just don't think so. 1.00
00:02:48.000 we pretend we have it all we pretend we can have it all you know my husband and
00:02:55.800 I married for 34 years and we have two daughters and every day you have to make
00:03:02.100 a decision on whether you are going to be a wife or a mother in fact many times
00:03:06.900 during the day you have to make those decisions and you have to co-opt a lot
00:03:12.060 of people to help you we co-opted our families to help us we plan our lives
00:03:17.160 meticulously so we can be decent parents but if you ask our daughters I'm not
00:03:22.340 sure they will say that I've been a good mom I'm not sure and I think that is the 1.00
00:03:27.300 most honest response I have ever heard from a career woman
00:03:34.920 many career women's children are afraid of their mothers and they're not overly
00:03:41.760 honest about the impact it had on them for them being gone all of those years
00:03:48.660 and I'm not saying it's right or wrong different families have to make
00:03:54.900 different choices but life is about choices and trade-offs and I think so
00:04:00.300 often we think we can have it all with no trade-off and I try all kinds of
00:04:07.860 coping mechanisms I mean I'll tell you a story that happened when my daughter
00:04:11.400 went to Catholic school, Convent of Sacred Heart, and every Wednesday morning they have class coffee
00:04:17.480 with mothers. Class coffee with mothers for a working woman, how is it going to work? How am I
00:04:22.360 going to take off nine o'clock on Wednesday mornings to go for a class coffee? So I miss most class
00:04:27.480 coffees. My daughter would come home and she'd say, list of all the mothers that were there and you
00:04:33.540 were not their mom. First few times I would die with guilt, but I developed coping mechanisms. I
00:04:40.560 called the school and I said, give me a list of mothers. We're not there. So when she came home, 0.96
00:04:45.100 when she came home in the evening, she'd say, you were not there. You were not there. I said,
00:04:49.580 uh-huh. Mrs. Rag wasn't there. You know, Mrs. So-and-so wasn't there. So I'm not the only bad 1.00
00:04:54.140 mother. You know, you have to cope because you die with guilt. You just die with guilt.
00:05:00.160 My, my observation, David, is that. See, this is what we talk about. This is the example of a woman
00:05:06.300 that is more on the selfish side in a selfless role and it's not necessarily that she's a bad
00:05:16.740 person or even would be a bad mother it's that the circumstances she chose in life didn't give
00:05:24.320 her the time to put her family first and her kids are the ones who suffer and while this is a problem
00:05:32.400 That is not the only problem these days.
00:05:35.340 It's no wonder you see testosterone levels dropping of men 1% every year.
00:05:41.080 The average testosterone level is half of what it was 50 years ago,
00:05:45.020 and this is one of the foundational physiological reasons why society is crumbling and in the state that it's in. 0.88
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00:07:04.000 Don't be a simp. Okay, so let me keep going. The biological clock and the career clock are in total
00:07:12.500 conflict with each other. Total, complete conflict. When you have to have kids, you have to build your
00:07:18.560 career. Just as you're rising to middle management, your kids need you because they're teenagers. They
00:07:23.920 they need you for the teenage years.
00:07:25.660 And that's the time your husband becomes a teenager too.
00:07:28.360 So he needs you.
00:07:32.020 Sorry.
00:07:34.900 They need you too, so what do you do?
00:07:37.340 And as you grow even more,
00:07:39.300 your parents need you because they're aging. 0.95
00:07:42.640 So we're screwed, I mean, we have no, we have no, 0.91
00:07:46.840 we cannot have it all, but you know what?
00:07:49.040 Coping mechanisms, train people at work.
00:07:52.720 And this is always what I hear.
00:07:56.300 I guess I don't hear, but I see it constantly.
00:07:59.720 When we put our career first, once we have a family, the kids are the ones who suffer.
00:08:08.400 And this is the CEO of Pepsi telling us that.
00:08:11.720 So if the CEO of Pepsi is saying, you know, I couldn't do it all, and this is probably 0.99
00:08:18.380 a woman with a super high IQ very intelligent if she could be the CEO of Pepsi she's probably 1.00
00:08:24.380 good with people to some degree and managing things who are we average women train your family 1.00
00:08:32.500 to be your extended family you know when I when I'm in PepsiCo I travel a lot and and now she's 0.96
00:08:39.580 saying I had to push on raising my kids onto my family so my extended family had to raise my kids
00:08:47.600 for me when my kids were tiny especially my second one we had strict rules on playing nintendo 0.99
00:08:54.800 she'd call the office she didn't care whether i was in china or japan or india wherever she'd 0.99
00:08:59.840 call the office the receptionist pick up the phone can i speak to my mommy everybody knows
00:09:04.640 if somebody says can i speak to mommy it's my daughter so she'd say yes tara what can i do for
00:09:09.040 you i want to play nintendo and the receptionist has a set of questions have you finished your
00:09:14.400 homework you know you see i say this because that's what it takes she goes through the questions and
00:09:22.480 she says okay you can pay nintendo half an hour but she leaves me a message tara called at five
00:09:27.840 this is what the sequence of questions i went through i've given her permission so it's seamless
00:09:32.640 parenting but if you don't do that i'm serious if you don't develop mechanisms with your secretaries
00:09:40.080 with the extended office with everybody around you it cannot work it can motherhood my you know
00:09:47.480 stay-at-home mother mothering was a full-time job being a CEO of a company is three full-time jobs
00:09:54.480 rolled into one how can you do justice to all you can't the person that hurts the most of this whole
00:10:00.120 thing is your spouse there's no question about it you know Raj always says you know what and she
00:10:06.660 she's being honest. I'm never going to hate on someone that's being honest about the consequences
00:10:13.440 or of the choices she made. She's not whining about them. She's just accepting it. But I think
00:10:20.000 it's good that we see even from top performing women, this is what comes with it. Your list is 0.98
00:10:25.520 PepsiCo, PepsiCo, PepsiCo, your two kids, our two kids, your mom. And then the bottom of the list is
00:10:31.920 me there are two ways to look at it you should be happy you're on the list
00:10:42.160 american women am i right actually i don't even think she is but um actually i don't even know
00:10:48.400 if she's american she might anyways it doesn't matter but um yeah this is what happens the 1.00
00:10:56.160 The husband comes last.
00:10:58.440 And this is why men often feel like a sperm donor
00:11:02.560 in this country, because they come after her career,
00:11:08.920 after the kids, then comes his needs.
00:11:11.920 He's barely on the list.
00:11:13.840 He should be happy to be there.
00:11:15.920 And you know, they're laughing.
00:11:16.940 Everyone's laughing at this joke,
00:11:18.880 because that's how they feel.
00:11:20.580 They're being honest.
00:11:21.560 so don't don't complain
00:11:25.560 just don't complain he is on the list very much on the list but you know okay so i absolutely
00:11:36.820 love using okay so that was example number one i'm going to check the chat really quick
00:11:43.680 but that was the first example and this is why in a little bit guys I'm going to do a call-in show 0.99
00:11:53.400 and who I would like to hear from I'm going to go through two more examples of women that tried 0.93
00:11:59.860 to have it all and see what they say about if they could and my question for women is what are 0.99
00:12:06.360 you willing to give up for your husband? 0.99
00:12:10.340 Or if you're married or in a relationship, what did you give
00:12:15.100 up to be in the relationship you're in?
00:12:17.600 And I'm going to read. 0.97
00:12:18.400 I asked a couple women that I know that are housewives or in
00:12:23.680 relationships for a very long time, and I'm going to read you
00:12:26.340 guys their answers.
00:12:30.160 OK, so someone says, anyone getting ready for the hurricane?
00:12:34.120 I don't know what you're talking about. 0.51
00:12:36.360 um the ceo treats her husband like he's a teenager yeah and does that sound like she
00:12:42.440 listens to him and defers to his authority if she's calling him a teenager um yeah okay so let
00:12:49.960 me go to the next one and this is oprah and michelle obama talking about if women can have it all
00:13:00.600 over and over and we talked a little bit about this might be in 2x
00:13:06.360 So, here's the question that comes up over and over and over, and we talked a little
00:13:14.860 bit about it, this idea of balance.
00:13:18.740 Is that a false notion for women, because can we really, are we ever going to have it 1.00
00:13:24.860 all?
00:13:25.860 I used to say, you can have it all, you just can't have it all at one time.
00:13:28.300 Or is that a false notion?
00:13:30.480 Look, I am always irritated by the you can have it all statement.
00:13:37.080 And I grew irritated with that phrase and that expectation the older I got, as you're trying to have it all. 0.95
00:13:45.120 So these are liberal career women saying that that's not possible. 1.00
00:13:53.380 These are Democrat, liberal. 0.99
00:13:57.140 I mean, Michelle Obama, you could argue if she's a career woman.
00:13:59.880 But Oprah is saying, no, not possible.
00:14:04.680 Yourself up and feeling less than because you aren't having it all.
00:14:11.160 Because it is. 0.99
00:14:12.720 It's a ridiculous aspiration. 0.81
00:14:16.180 Especially if you're looking at everybody else's Facebook page. 0.88
00:14:19.120 Oh, God, everybody has it all.
00:14:21.280 Everybody's lying.
00:14:22.380 They're lying.
00:14:24.200 Y'all need to stop lying.
00:14:26.040 And be real about the fact that, you know, no one gets everything.
00:14:30.620 That was one of the first rules you learned as a little kid.
00:14:33.060 You don't always get your way.
00:14:35.540 Come on, people.
00:14:36.460 You don't always get what you want all the time.
00:14:38.700 And that's true in life.
00:14:40.640 So what I've told many young people is that you can have it all, but oftentimes it's hard to get it all at the same time.
00:14:48.600 Yeah, I believe that.
00:14:49.300 You know, so it's just a matter of managing expectations.
00:14:53.440 So for me, for example, you know, when your husband is president of the United States and you have children, something's got to give.
00:15:03.220 You know, I've made compromises in my life and my career, but I've also in exchange gained a wonderful platform to do some great work.
00:15:12.460 Who would have ever imagined that we would make the inroads we've made on healthy eating and changing the way our kids are fed? 1.00
00:15:19.680 I will never forgive Michelle Obama for ruining school lunches. 0.99
00:15:25.680 I'll never forgive her.
00:15:29.100 Ever.
00:15:30.740 We had amazing cookies, and she took those away.
00:15:33.340 I'll never, that was not, Michelle, I do not appreciate that.
00:15:38.720 But, sorry, I'm being silly for a second.
00:15:41.660 But the point is, she had to pick between her career and her husband's career.
00:15:48.040 Now, obviously, this is extreme. Her husband is the president of the United States. Obviously, that's going to come first. But I see this in movies all the time where the new lead protagonist generally is a woman and the man follows her career. And that's fine. We can you can do that. But life comes with choices and tradeoffs.
00:16:14.760 and are we ready for what comes with that school and uh you know yeah i can point to so many things
00:16:23.480 that i've had um that i've been able to do uh if i want to be heavily involved in my girls lives
00:16:32.280 that means that sometimes i have to put some things on the back burner to give them what they
00:16:37.000 need so it's it's hard to have it all um but that's where you go back to knowing who you are
00:16:44.960 and knowing that you know you're really living through phases and if you don't if you're
00:16:50.540 compromising through one phase of your journey you're not not giving it all up you're just you
00:16:55.760 you're compromising for that phase there's another phase that's coming up where you might be able to
00:17:00.960 have more of what you thought you wanted you know you get to know yourself a little bit more 0.97
00:17:06.580 So, no, I don't want young women out there to have the expectation
00:17:11.460 that if they're not having it all, that somehow they're failing.
00:17:15.540 Life is hard, but life is long.
00:17:19.320 If you maintain your health, which is one of the reasons why we talk about health,
00:17:23.800 talk about taking care of yourself, because you want to get to the next phases in life
00:17:27.600 where you can do more of what you want to do at any given time.
00:17:30.760 You want to be wherever you are right now, and just like you say,
00:17:33.740 I'm not through.
00:17:34.900 No.
00:17:35.580 you're not through not through so okay so so that's example two now example three came from
00:17:47.760 tick tock a couple of weeks ago so there is a woman her name is kelsey um she her name is kelsey
00:17:55.780 and she's the wife of i forgot his name but they're basically there is a trad wife couple
00:18:01.560 They make Trad Wife content, or traditional content on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and they are very famous.
00:18:10.380 And this couple came from New York.
00:18:12.240 They met in New York.
00:18:14.400 And the woman went to Juilliard, and she was set to be a ballerina.
00:18:20.800 And if you know anything about Juilliard, there is a 5% acceptance rate.
00:18:25.560 You have to be a very, very good ballerina to go Juilliard.
00:18:28.440 and she was living in New York City and that was her dream and then she met a
00:18:33.420 billionaire and she was willing to I can't imagine why right I can't imagine
00:18:43.080 but very quickly she said you know what I'm okay on the on the Juilliard stuff
00:18:50.460 you know I'll just have your children and now they live on a ranch in the
00:18:54.840 middle of nowhere and they make TikTok content and she makes everything from scratch. And I want to
00:19:00.880 show you how the women of today react to this. So what they'll do is say that she is somehow abused. 1.00
00:19:11.900 she is somehow
00:19:14.280 coerced into these decisions
00:19:20.420 when this is the wife of a billionaire
00:19:24.700 family and somehow
00:19:27.820 the internet took this as she should have
00:19:34.680 gone to Juilliard instead of getting married 1.00
00:19:37.520 and it's interesting because feminists always parade around 1.00
00:19:41.880 that it's great for women to have choices but whenever women make a choice that doesn't go
00:19:46.980 with their narrative we end up with videos like this so I'm going to show you guys a essay done
00:19:55.160 by a woman who's like anti-traditional something I don't know but I want to show you her take on
00:20:01.520 this whole situation oh wait I'm so sorry guys I listen in 2x when you've been on YouTube as long
00:20:08.880 as i have you barely ever listened there was this times article with this woman called hannah
00:20:16.320 neilman and she has a tiktok account called ballerina farm she also has her own type of
00:20:21.840 account called hannah neilman i think she had that tiktok account before the ballerina farm one
00:20:27.680 i think she is the pinnacle mormon trad wife she makes everything from scratch she's always
00:20:34.320 got children dangling off of her daniel really doesn't seem to be about as much although he
00:20:38.800 pops in and out paints this very serene image of this woman who just loves taking care of the family
00:20:44.320 who makes everything from scratch who you know who gives her life to her children and her family
00:20:50.320 scratching on the surface this seems like very aspirational content and when this times article
00:20:56.720 came out it then made it quite clear to a lot of different people that maybe just maybe her
00:21:02.800 situation isn't exactly as it seems i will just so this couple invites a new york times reporter
00:21:09.200 into their home to do an interview and this new york times reporter decides to make this into a
00:21:15.200 hit piece about their family hey is that there are a lot of people number one saying that she
00:21:20.640 is being controlled has got her freedom taken away she is deeply saddened it's about patriarchy and
00:21:25.360 it's about feminism and it's about men trying to take away women's you know voices argument number
00:21:30.880 to author of this piece was just dramatizing everything and actually maybe that was her 0.99
00:21:35.440 career maybe maybe she didn't actually want to do ballet maybe she didn't want a different life you
00:21:40.800 know it's very possible that she's very very happy you guys are making a mountain out of a molehill
00:21:45.520 hannah nealman is a victim or oppressed based on this article it's because it was manipulative
00:21:49.680 journalism the one thing i will say which is what i just said a minute ago their faith their faith
00:21:55.920 comes into us in a very very very big way people who are ex-mormon who have in their own words
00:22:03.280 left their cult were basically indoctrinated these are their words not mine they left their
00:22:08.480 husbands they managed to free themselves and they are also chiming in on this conversation
00:22:13.920 this is a woman who is not an autonomous individual and i've seen women on so this is my question
00:22:19.520 this woman is not an autonomous individual are we adults or are we children because if we're
00:22:28.200 children then that would say that we can't make decisions on our own but if we're adults 0.90
00:22:35.400 then we got to be responsible for the decisions that we choose and this is a woman she's ex-mormon
00:22:43.320 so she did the mormon thing and it didn't work out for whatever reason maybe she decided she 0.97
00:22:49.000 didn't like her husband. Maybe he divorced her. I don't know. But what happens instead of taking 0.64
00:23:00.820 the loss, we have a tendency to blame it on everybody else. We're saying things like,
00:23:10.300 well, I don't want to speak about her life because she is a grown woman. She is an autonomous person.
00:23:15.200 she has free will she's making choices no she isn't she isn't she is being indoctrinated and
00:23:23.440 has been indoctrinated since the day she was born in i don't want to hear anything about
00:23:30.160 indoctrination we have google yep you have access to the internet you can google whatever you want
00:23:36.960 you really can to the mormon cult okay she's not making choices that are informed
00:23:46.080 she's being told that she has to obey her husband talking about neilman even they said a devout
00:23:51.120 mormon who was raised in a mormon family she bakes perfectly scored sourdough loaves milks
00:23:55.680 cows straight into her coffee cup and gives birth by candlelight with no pain relief straight off 0.97
00:24:01.200 the bat hannah neilman was a juilliard ballet dancer she actually had one year left of her
00:24:08.160 undergraduate she had one year left and that was gonna be it her career was gonna be ballet hence
00:24:14.320 the reason why it is a little bit strange how it's called you know ballerina farm i mean it's not 0.56
00:24:19.360 strange but it is strange once we get into this in just a moment grew up in a very mormon family
00:24:24.640 okay both her parents were very mormon she went away and she was in juilliard and that is what
00:24:29.520 she wanted to do when she was asked you know is this something that you've always wanted to do
00:24:33.200 she says no i mean i was like my goal was new york city i left home at 17 and i was so excited to
00:24:39.040 get there i just love that energy and i was going to be a ballerina i was a good ballerina she
00:24:44.240 pauses again but i know that when i started to have kids my life would look different well i
00:24:49.360 think one of the best things about a social media business in our case is that we get to work
00:24:54.640 together um growing up and when they were both asked about you know the reasoning why they're
00:25:01.040 having so many kids she says it's god's plan whenever she has a baby give it another year
00:25:07.520 she then asks god and god says yes have another baby one baby after another after another okay
00:25:13.600 this is by far the number one question that we've gotten most of how many kids we're gonna have
00:25:20.400 well i don't know we don't really have a number we're just kind of going for it when asked you
00:25:27.780 know are you going to fill your 15 seater van daniel the husband says you know yes and she says
00:25:34.160 well i'm a little bit tired now in a very coincidental chain of events hannah was actually
00:25:39.800 on her way back to new york from salt lake city she was going to go back go back to juilliard
00:25:45.080 and she was going to go and finish and what ended up happening was that Daniel her now husband what
00:25:51.100 happened was Daniel's dad is actually the owner of JetBlue Airlines and Daniel knew that she was
00:25:57.640 going to be getting on that flight so he managed to wiggle it and get a seat right next to her and
00:26:02.940 in his words she didn't realize his dad owned the airline so Daniel was like I'm on that same flight
00:26:08.460 she says I remember checking in and them saying you're 5A and you're 5B I just thought no way
00:26:13.860 that's crazy daniel smiles i made a call he had pulled strings at jet blue and so began their
00:26:19.360 first date back then i thought we should date for a year before marriage she continues so i could
00:26:24.900 finish school and whatever and daniel was like it's not going to work we've got to get married
00:26:29.780 now after a month they were engaged two months after that they were married moving into an
00:26:34.460 apartment daniel rented on the upper west side and three months after that she was pregnant the first
00:26:39.720 juilliard undergraduate to be expecting in modern history when they were then probed on you know
00:26:45.320 have you had to give up that much she says that you know we've all had to make sacrifices our
00:26:50.840 first few years of marriage are really hard okay so what did she give up in order to get married
00:26:59.560 to a high level guy i mean i think a billion dollars most most women might you know they 1.00
00:27:05.400 think about but regardless right in order to get married to a high level guy she said 0.70
00:27:13.480 within a couple of months he said i'm ready for kids and marriage now and she said okay
00:27:21.640 how do you guys think her life would have turned out if she said you know what i need a year i need
00:27:26.920 to finish juilliard how would that have gone sacrificed a lot but we did have this vision
00:27:34.680 this dream and daniel interrupts we still do what kind of sacrifices i ask her well i gave up dance
00:27:41.640 which was hard you give up a piece of yourself and daniel gave up his career ambitions now there's
00:27:48.440 a very common theme in this the way that the journalist writes is that daniel keeps on cutting
00:27:53.240 her off one of the sad things actually was when they then moved out to this branch to this farm
00:27:58.040 that they now call ballerina farm she really wanted for this particular shed slash barn to
00:28:05.720 be made into a ballet studio just do what she loves doing and he dismissed it and he decided
00:28:11.800 to turn it into a kid's home schooling room so i'm here in the school room if you followed for
00:28:21.800 any amount of time you know that this building actually used to be where we shipped and fulfilled
00:28:26.680 all our orders here on the farm now keep this in mind they have a lot of money but where his dad
00:28:32.040 comes from the amount of money they're able to make off the farm they actually sell their meat
00:28:35.880 i believe that they sell their cow meat and they do it online and all this kind of stuff so they
00:28:39.960 have quite a good business as well as their social media so they rake in a hell of a lot of money
00:28:44.440 they are not poor and he still would not either build her a ballet studio or have the ballet
00:28:52.600 studio that she wanted the acceptance rate to get into juilliard is between five and eight percent
00:28:57.160 i say this because i saw a comment of a woman who said they too had hobbies they gave up after they
00:29:02.440 became a mother you know you just give up things when you become a mother no one is arguing that
00:29:06.520 but please don't compare your hobbies to being a juilliard level ballet dancer unless you were
00:29:13.080 training to be a professional athlete or training to be an olympian you and her are not the same
00:29:18.760 journalist did pick up on this she says i look out at the vastness and i don't totally agree
00:29:23.720 daniel wanted to live in the great western wild okay so what did she do she gave up
00:29:30.600 what she wanted for what he wanted now we could say right wrong doesn't matter that's what she
00:29:36.360 chose to do and what the general public comes out and does is say that she does not have agency and 0.55
00:29:44.440 and that she cannot be possibly making these decisions
00:29:47.380 on her own, and that she is somehow a victim.
00:29:51.580 So I guess my question for the women is,
00:29:56.280 and I would love to hear from married women especially,
00:30:00.000 what did you give up in order to get the man that you wanted? 1.00
00:30:07.300 So I asked a couple of married women that I know,
00:30:14.240 And I'm going to read their responses.
00:30:18.160 The issue is most happily married women are not dying to come on camera.
00:30:24.380 So she said, I'll give you an answer here. 1.00
00:30:28.340 Woman number one, she said, I gave up control of the outcome, control of the timeline, knowing
00:30:35.160 everything in advance, accepting that he has options, not asking questions that aren't
00:30:41.160 my business, and my big executive job for a temporary contractor position, and I have
00:30:48.340 never been happier.
00:30:51.860 The second woman I asked, let me pull up her response in a second, and if there's any 0.98
00:30:59.020 women in the chat, I'll read your answers too.
00:31:02.340 She said, in submission to God, I gave my husband authority over me. 1.00
00:31:11.160 So the question for the women is what did you give up in order to get the guy that you 1.00
00:31:21.380 wanted?
00:31:22.380 So I'm going to put the link in the chat, could you guys put it, pin it as a comment?
00:31:29.000 I'm gonna send it to a couple people that I messaged to come on, so let me see one second.
00:31:41.160 I don't see it, guys.
00:31:43.040 Is it in the description?
00:31:45.200 Oh, okay.
00:31:46.440 Okay, cool.
00:31:47.000 One second.
00:31:49.440 Because that's the question.
00:31:51.380 Are you willing to quit your full-time job to go work part-time for your husband?
00:31:57.360 Who in the chat, who would be willing to do it?
00:32:01.500 Would you be willing to move and live somewhere you don't want to live for your husband?
00:32:06.460 If you're a city person, would you be willing to live in the country for a family?
00:32:12.800 Would you be willing to go down in lifestyle, no vacations anymore for a family?
00:32:24.700 What are you willing to give up to get what you want? 1.00
00:32:29.480 That's my question for the women. 1.00
00:32:31.460 or what if you're married 1.00
00:32:33.620 what did you give up
00:32:35.140 in order to get what you want
00:32:37.240 where is 1.00
00:32:43.220 most women aren't going to come on 1.00
00:32:47.340 camera and brag well 1.00
00:32:48.840 I don't know now is the time
00:32:50.680 is the link there or no
00:32:55.700 sorry guys one second 1.00
00:33:00.900 so i'll give you a let me text the people because there's a couple women that i was going to 1.00
00:33:10.360 also um
00:33:18.360 we do need to see you guys on camera because we do have obviously we have trolls so we got to have
00:33:26.860 you guys see your faces. I need to see your hands. Please set down the camera so we can
00:33:32.040 see you. Let me, one second, where?
00:33:53.360 Okay, see if she comes on. 0.99
00:34:02.040 So, I know one woman who she, before a couple of years ago, was working full-time in, I 0.99
00:34:20.640 knew her through sales. 0.86
00:34:22.020 So, she was probably one of the top salespeople at her company.
00:34:31.080 she was really good at what she did and she ended up quitting her job to actually go work for her
00:34:37.880 husband and they ended up moving they lived in like a three-bedroom house and they moved into
00:34:43.400 a small apartment right they didn't have kids yet but they were planning on having kids but he
00:34:50.600 wanted to make this big career decision and so she said even though she wanted kids she said you know
00:34:56.300 what go for it let's move into this apartment let's hold off on the children because that was
00:35:03.500 the guy she wanted and she was willing to get on his timeline instead of hers and what the more 1.00
00:35:10.320 modern women will say is they live in a state of constant fear so oh the biological clock that's 0.86
00:35:17.940 ticking and when women say that what they have a tendency to do is they live in constant fear of 0.93
00:35:26.900 what could possibly go wrong instead of trusting her husband's decision making okay let me send 1.00
00:35:35.380 this to a I'll see if she's free yeah we got someone do women watch my show no 0.96
00:35:51.460 guys it has to be a guy a girl I'm trying to talk to I'm trying to talk to
00:35:56.980 the women guys I can't have guys call in I'm sorry this is oh it's Thor well do
00:36:08.160 you see that do you see that her face or his face okay yeah we have to have
00:36:12.400 faces guys oh well they have to um oh there she is oh hi okay this is a woman
00:36:23.220 how are you um oh now i can hear her very nice t-shirt you have there where
00:36:34.760 yeah i generally wear it when i go grocery shopping and i wear it on a cruise i know i
00:36:42.900 know it's so great i get some dirty looks i had some grandpa be like i was like
00:36:48.300 so hi everyone um so why don't you tell them your name how long you've been married and um any kids
00:36:58.580 so my name is leor i'm the wife of joel and joel has with me a channel called western culture
00:37:06.700 through god's eyes and we talk about a lot of stuff there and uh we do not have any kids we've
00:37:13.560 been married for three years and um yeah that's basically the shtick so what did you give up to
00:37:22.180 get the guy that you wanted i made a little list all right so uh the first things there were like
00:37:33.000 things that i gave up during the marriage like as we grew together but before the marriage i gave up
00:37:38.760 um well i was a buddhist so i ditched that and i started my study in the bible and also in that
00:37:47.640 buddhist new age kind of aesthetic i uh i was doing yoga so i stopped that as well because
00:37:54.040 that's a that's a spiritual ritualistic practice so i stopped doing yoga i stopped you know if i
00:37:59.960 had any like little trinkets around i ditched those very quickly uh i i had smoked weed since
00:38:07.800 i was 14 so i basically stopped that cold turkey and um you know i had slowed down previously but
00:38:14.600 it wasn't like completely and so i stopped that and we were actually going long distance beforehand
00:38:21.080 and so i quit that fairly early on before we were engaged or anything so uh that's really like a lot 0.75
00:38:28.520 of women are using prescription medications and marijuana is you know it's it can be more 0.93
00:38:33.240 recreational but when you use it very frequently it's another form of like anxiety medication and
00:38:39.160 when i met joel i just felt like so grounded like i didn't need any of these other things you know
00:38:44.880 um i gave up authority over myself i i call it like having the last word so a lot of women
00:38:52.420 especially in female spaces they always compete for the last word and uh i just uh i never that
00:39:00.400 never a struggle for me with joel and uh but but it was never even a notion in my mind like i he
00:39:07.920 has complete authority if he says you know he would like me to do something i i always contribute
00:39:13.200 my opinion you know on something that he asks but ultimately he has the last word and i trust his
00:39:18.160 judgment and we he laid down the line for that early on and that's honestly something i didn't
00:39:23.600 see growing up in my parents at all is like always bickering who's going to have the last work
00:39:28.640 and unless you have that expectation before you go in the woman is always going to think well you 0.97
00:39:35.380 know what I thought yeah and it's exhausting and then you know what isn't it interesting how when 0.99
00:39:41.820 you ask women if they listen to their husband it's like you would think that's the baseline 0.57
00:39:47.400 but it's really not yeah you know the women really see men as a means to an end and you know when I
00:39:55.520 was uh uh joel was actually had had been red-pilled for a very very long time and he introduced me to
00:40:03.360 kevin samuel so another thing actually uh that i changed was basically the information that i was
00:40:08.640 consuming so he had like a level of expectation for conversation that he wanted to have from me
00:40:14.560 not like what do you do today what you mean today like kind of mindless mind numbing you know talks
00:40:22.080 so he expected me to conform to his tastes and what his interests and i didn't come in with the
00:40:31.840 knowledge that he had i didn't come in within wisdom or any of that so joel basically put me
00:40:37.680 on a curriculum and part of that included kevin samuels and part of that included um you know
00:40:44.880 history and the bible and all sorts of speakers that he recommends on his channel as well and so
00:40:53.600 that was something that you know he would give me like two three days to like listen to a seminar
00:40:59.440 or read a chapter or watch something and then you know we talk about it or something he mentioned 1.00
00:41:05.680 like i had to be engaging and a lot of the women are just so reclined and expectant they never 0.99
00:41:12.880 feel like they have to you know show up so you know i you mentioned some married women don't 0.71
00:41:19.600 want to come online you know i don't know if you ever get the nerves before you go on camera anymore
00:41:24.800 but i always do they just gotta be like now on camera and i got out of my system but i think 0.97
00:41:30.720 really married women need to need to come online they need to talk about it more because all of the 1.00
00:41:37.040 unhinged rabid hyenas are talking louder than anybody else and i even after consuming kevin 0.92
00:41:43.040 samuels and other redful content and just biblical patriarchal dynamics you know learning about that
00:41:51.040 submission never heard about submission talked about in my life before meeting my husband you
00:41:56.080 know i had i like the girls don't have a sense of reality they really don't so they think like 0.63
00:42:03.520 we were talking about this the other day but basically like they think that life is a disney
00:42:08.880 bubble but then they realize that that's not very fulfilling so then they like look they're like okay
00:42:15.360 i want something else and the guys are like okay i have an expectation of you and they like lose
00:42:20.480 their mind they're like no the expectation is you don't have expectations i expect stuff from you
00:42:27.120 you don't expect stuff from me and so then they're unhinged they're on they're unstable they're 0.52
00:42:32.720 they're mentally disheveled, you know, they don't know what's going on. So, like, talking about,
00:42:37.440 you know, if a woman says partner, if a woman says egalitarian, if a woman says mutual submission,
00:42:44.440 like, if a woman says, or a man, you know, for that matter, say complementarian, that's all,
00:42:49.560 like, words for matriarchy. That's matriarchy. Like, if it's anything other than patriarchy, 1.00
00:42:55.220 it's matriarchy. So, it's always, like, conditional stuff like that. So, the reason I bring this up,
00:43:00.640 not trying to go on a tangent but was because like whether the women can have it all like me
00:43:05.360 a i just turned 30 you know a few months ago but i met my husband when i was 26 27 right on that
00:43:11.680 cusp and i a 26 27 year old woman had to tell my mother who was 60 that you can't have it all
00:43:20.800 and she's a 60 year old woman she's like no leora you don't understand i'm a modern woman
00:43:25.680 we can have it all i'm like mother don't you understand that like you the thinner you spread
00:43:32.400 yourself the poor the quality you know and and you can't have the career and the kids and the house
00:43:40.960 and all the quality and the stuff and the trips and vacations and a wonderful relationship with
00:43:45.360 your husband you know when you're constantly and you just can't have it and my 60 year old mother
00:43:50.720 she she was at the exact same maturity level as these 17 year old girls 18 year old girls entering
00:43:58.320 college like no no yes i can you can have it all and she still didn't have it all like when are
00:44:03.200 they going to learn that they can't have it all is it when they're going to be on their deathbed
00:44:06.880 yeah do you do you feel like you could have been in the position you're in if you didn't give up
00:44:14.320 the things that you gave up so you gave up your religion you gave up weed you gave up um i mean
00:44:22.080 you just listed a ton of things yeah i know i'm sorry i'm a chatter no you're totally fine i just
00:44:27.120 was trying to recall everything and i'm like i don't think i could listen all back but do you
00:44:31.280 think you'd still be where you are definitely not you know like um the submission was the deal breaker
00:44:41.600 so so if you didn't submit in these things like girls and i think people at large only understand
00:44:51.040 uh rewards and punishments so you can't reward girls for like doing stuff you don't like like
00:44:56.800 that indian woman that you should like that man should not have impregnated her he got rewarded 0.99
00:45:03.680 for being basically like a suitcase that's not a mother you know that's like a you know that's
00:45:10.240 a surrogate i don't know what that is but um you know there have to be consequences and and like
00:45:17.280 even through our marriage like i've changed things more you know i became i i've dressed more modestly
00:45:22.000 through our marriage you know i i practice you know a little time out on myself to gain like
00:45:27.520 when i'm having a lot of estrogen because when a woman is having intense estrogen like 1.00
00:45:31.760 nothing no type of conversation really helps it you know she just generally just needs to cry it
00:45:36.960 out so i like it but and you know the reason i we do the time out thing for me is very helpful is 1.00
00:45:43.360 because uh women's gold is like a tent is uh is attention and their kryptonite is deprivation of 0.66
00:45:50.160 attention so if i like didn't show up if i if if joel noticed that i wasn't listening to him if i
00:45:57.760 wasn't being attentive to what he said if i didn't the curriculum for example if i didn't watch the
00:46:02.320 thing he sent me and listened to it and absorbed it and was able to talk about it then he wouldn't
00:46:08.240 reward me with attention and that is really the most precious thing for girls that's why they're
00:46:14.400 online showing themselves naked because their parents you know had kids and threw them off
00:46:20.480 to the wild and they weren't cared for you know so yeah there was definitely a deal breaker
00:46:27.280 what was the hardest habit for you to kick and how did you kick it
00:46:33.760 uh i'm a pretty chill person actually i have to think about that the hardest habit
00:46:42.320 you know uh actually when joel and i met i was part of a network marketing company and
00:46:48.640 uh he was really gracious to me because he was actually part of a network marketing company in
00:46:52.800 his youth and so i actually reached out to him trying to sell him a product and he wanted to be
00:46:57.760 like f you but he was so gracious he knew like like i'm not gonna buy your product little girl
00:47:03.040 but you know he started conversation with me and uh over time he kind of let me realize because he
00:47:11.280 he used to be in my shoes and he understood like if i tell you or like no right because i i wasn't
00:47:16.720 like completely patriarchal i hadn't completely remolded myself at that point you know i was
00:47:21.520 raised to be aspirational or ambitious whatever so he understood because he had that kind of
00:47:28.720 drive in him like when you're in that culture of network marketing if anybody's experienced
00:47:34.240 that you know they they really hammer it home he said okay if you if i if i tell her stop right now
00:47:41.360 she might be like so uh shocked kind of like shell shocked that that might end it so he like
00:47:50.240 Like, gradually let me realize that, you know, you're not actually making any money, little girl.
00:47:56.400 You know, you're just having a little community and, you know, playing pretend.
00:48:00.660 And a lot of the, like, network marketers purposefully target, market, and sell to women.
00:48:06.260 They teach you to sell to women because women buy more.
00:48:08.700 And women are always craving that community, craving that attention. 0.87
00:48:12.740 So that took a little bit longer for me to ditch. 0.99
00:48:16.420 But eventually I did ditch it.
00:48:17.840 And he didn't he didn't have to hammer it home. Just, you know, like he made his opinion clear and he said, when you're ready to ditch that, you'll ditch that.
00:48:27.540 I know you're going to ditch that. And eventually I did. You know, it wasn't feeling like the gate, the gate inside of me was filled through my husband.
00:48:35.660 I didn't need that habit. Was there any, I guess, social habits, maybe like to become maybe a better listener?
00:48:43.220 you said you get put in timeout or something when yeah like that's when i have estrogen so like like
00:48:49.820 when i'm on my pmsing or something like that like uh i don't have the i'm a pretty chill person i
00:48:56.100 think joel would say i have pretty good emotional self-control but we're all girls here so sometimes
00:49:02.960 i i might lip off or say something like not as respectfully as i should and he's like you're
00:49:09.040 being rude you need to go calm down i take a time out in like social settings um i just met
00:49:17.340 one-on-one with him because i don't see yeah i don't see a lot of um self-help for women that's
00:49:22.700 actually useful so if you have any useful things that you think the two women that watch my show
00:49:28.040 are gonna see you know it just might be helpful um you know i think you have a lot more hate 0.73
00:49:33.060 watchers than you give yourself credit you know you got a lot of you got a lot of trolls out there
00:49:38.120 But, yeah, I think for me, the timeout was very helpful because, you know, sometimes when you're having estrogen, you're being very emotional.
00:49:47.860 You really want to express yourself, but you're not you're not phrasing it respectfully or not presenting your case in a level headed manner.
00:49:57.700 You seem unstable, then the guy is not going to listen to you.
00:50:01.080 So you need to kind of like remove yourself from the situation and be like, OK, I apologize for.
00:50:08.120 snapping. And I think that this maybe would be a good idea
00:50:13.120 because of these reasons. And if you don't want to do that,
00:50:15.620 that's fine. But that's where I stand. Like this is, and I
00:50:18.120 don't think it's necessarily comes from like, like the girls
00:50:21.120 are conscious that they're doing it. But again, like having 0.75
00:50:24.120 third party perspective and having to expect, like the guys
00:50:27.120 have to expect, like you are going to have self control or
00:50:31.120 develop some practices that will help you navigate. We don't
00:50:36.120 we don't have kids, but these are really damaging practices
00:50:39.040 when there are kids around 0.99
00:50:40.060 and the mother is like going on a tantrum, you know? 0.92
00:50:42.820 A lot of us grew up around mothers 0.83
00:50:44.520 that like walk around them
00:50:46.920 or it's like a roller coaster in the house.
00:50:48.920 And in those types of environments,
00:50:52.600 the house isn't a home, it's kind of like a prison.
00:50:54.720 You dread going home and those are the circumstances
00:50:57.180 where kids like leave and they run away.
00:50:58.660 So you don't want your husband to feel that way in his home.
00:51:02.360 Like you don't want your husband to be sitting in the car,
00:51:04.440 like bracing himself to come and approach you.
00:51:06.380 You know, you want him to look forward to seeing you.
00:51:09.460 You know, I'm like always at the door waggling my tail
00:51:12.240 to see him when he comes home.
00:51:13.360 So like, that's the stuff he likes.
00:51:15.120 And I think we need more content like that.
00:51:18.320 So that's why we're such big fans of yours.
00:51:21.000 Well, thank you for calling in.
00:51:23.000 Love the shirt.
00:51:25.200 Holla.
00:51:27.420 Okay, see ya.
00:51:28.760 Girl, see ya.
00:51:32.200 Okay.
00:51:33.480 All right, guys, I wanna reiterate the rules here.
00:51:37.400 I need to see you on camera, I need your face.
00:51:41.300 I need you to put the phone down, see your hands.
00:51:46.020 And yeah, if you're rude or disrespectful, 0.67
00:51:50.940 I will kick you off.
00:51:52.380 And please do not over talk me, I'm running a show.
00:51:56.060 So yeah, someone's gotta run the show, so okay.
00:52:01.060 Okay, who's, this person's not on camera,
00:52:05.580 they have to be on camera first.
00:52:08.140 Okay, no problem.
00:52:12.480 How many people do we have in the queue?
00:52:15.100 Two, okay.
00:52:16.020 Are any of them on camera that we could bring on first?
00:52:18.180 Or no?
00:52:19.980 Oh, you can't, okay, sorry,
00:52:21.240 I don't understand the Zoom fully.
00:52:24.660 We'll take them off screen until they are,
00:52:28.300 we can see that they're, sorry guys,
00:52:29.960 This is our first call-in show from America,
00:52:32.940 so we're just working through the kinks.
00:52:36.340 But yeah, there you have it. 0.95
00:52:37.480 So in order to get married, she gave up.
00:52:43.740 OK, hello. 0.70
00:52:45.540 Hello.
00:52:47.440 What's your name?
00:52:49.580 Shanice Ingram.
00:52:51.460 Hi, Shanice.
00:52:52.040 How are you?
00:52:53.580 I'm doing good.
00:52:54.280 How are you?
00:52:55.120 Where are you at?
00:52:55.880 It looks bright out.
00:52:57.360 I'm outside with my kids.
00:52:59.960 I meant, like, what state?
00:53:02.740 Oh, New Mexico, Albuquerque.
00:53:05.180 Oh, okay.
00:53:06.280 So are you married, I'm guessing?
00:53:09.180 Yes.
00:53:10.140 And how many kids?
00:53:11.860 I have three kids.
00:53:13.660 Three kids.
00:53:14.240 So what did you give up to get the man that you wanted?
00:53:18.960 I just gave up, you know, I would say, like, I lost a lot of weight.
00:53:26.300 and that was like huge for me because it actually happened because you said like
00:53:31.540 oh your husband doesn't want um a big wife so I gave up eating and I lost like 50 pounds for him
00:53:41.140 so that was like wow and so by now he's trying to put on some weight so I've been 0.82
00:53:49.220 helping him eat and i also had to get get uh let go of myself a lot because it's not all about me
00:53:57.540 it's about everybody else so that's what i do okay and how did you meet your husband
00:54:07.480 i met him on plenty of fish and yeah
00:54:12.380 yeah he runs his own business and he has like six tracks and he works really hard for us
00:54:26.580 so you lost 60 pounds in order to get your husband that's amazing congratulations
00:54:34.420 you look great thank you no i appreciate it and that's crazy that you answered this because like
00:54:41.180 that really helped me out you know it does matter so but yeah well thank you for calling in
00:54:50.560 have fun in new mexico thank you bye
00:54:53.980 nothing in constitution regarding marriage she stopped eating the cheetos and watching 0.57
00:55:12.820 jerry springer it's tough cheetos are good you know but um so talking about money
00:55:21.540 i do read the chat guys i've seen your comments um so again if you want to call in i'd really
00:55:30.700 love to hear from married women or women in long-term relationships and what i'd like to hear
00:55:37.260 is what sacrifices did you make to have a family or maybe you disagree maybe you have it all
00:55:47.280 maybe I'm wrong call in let me know what did you sacrifice in order to have a family
00:55:55.480 what did you give up in order to get the man or the family that you wanted
00:56:01.340 said it's a trap what do you mean it's a trap stop it 1.00
00:56:05.800 I think you know one thing I've heard from women that have been married and lost a lot of weight
00:56:16.580 in the marriage is most men aren't going to tell you that the weight bothers them because men are
00:56:24.620 are nice and they tend to be kind people and they don't want to hurt our feelings because they love
00:56:32.040 us but I've heard from women that have lost a lot of weight that their husband just subconsciously
00:56:41.320 started to want to be around them more they would be more excited to see them
00:56:46.480 treat them better it's important to men you know the way we look represents
00:56:53.320 them so yeah everything is a trade-off good question thank you I try to ask the
00:57:02.660 good questions because the issue we have is there are good women out there right
00:57:10.660 there are women that sacrifice for their families but the problem is most of those women they don't 0.99
00:57:17.920 want to be on camera they don't want to talk because they would rather be at home right 0.96
00:57:25.000 yeah so what did you give up where is any mention of oh I'm sorry this is for women only
00:57:35.820 yeah guys it's for it's a ladies show it's a ladies call in
00:57:42.180 guys this is good i'm telling you you should get it it's in the comments
00:57:51.220 it's a pre-workout so if you want to
00:57:55.380 if you want to work out you can take it and then go for a run or something
00:58:01.320 um okay we have cecilia next let's see if i gotta see you i gotta see you on camera so
00:58:11.540 put your face up or camera on 1.00
00:58:16.020 i'm gonna see i have one other woman i wanted to come on but she doesn't like being on camera so 1.00
00:58:25.320 Let me get her. 1.00
00:58:26.780 Can you list what she gave up to get into a relationship? 0.99
00:58:42.520 Just, you can turn the sound off for her 0.53
00:58:44.960 until she has her camera on.
00:58:46.460 Okay, there we go.
00:58:55.320 okay okay number one he said he's all right I'm getting a list I'm getting a list of so I have a
00:59:08.620 friend and she was in her she was divorced right and she basically met
00:59:15.700 a new guy that she wanted to be in a relationship with but he had these very high standards and she
00:59:26.720 knew that she would have to change her life if she wanted to get married to this man
00:59:32.600 um she's listing all the things that she did so she changed her phone number she never goes out
00:59:42.940 without him she put cameras in her apartment she gave up drinking she gave the up the password to
00:59:49.500 her phone wow that just keeps look at that 0.99
01:00:00.460 I'm sorry, this is a female call-in show for today, 1.00
01:00:15.180 so it's women only? 0.96
01:00:16.220 OK.
01:00:23.460 Well, I guess that's it for today.
01:00:27.520 We still do?
01:00:28.360 Yeah.
01:00:28.860 OK.
01:00:30.860 oh okay okay
01:00:39.500 what about you guys put it in the chat if you can't call in tell me what your girlfriends wives 0.59
01:00:46.780 what did they give up for you 1.00
01:00:55.340 all the women looking for good marriage pay attention to what those women are saying things 1.00
01:01:00.460 all think all the stuff things all the stuff most older women will never tell
01:01:06.400 younger women because they're angry and jealous um okay we got Talisha and
01:01:13.980 Cecilia turn on your camera please
01:01:22.380 oh hello hi Pearl how are you great how are you you look so pretty and green
01:01:30.360 Oh, thank you. Where are you based out of?
01:01:33.440 I am in Phoenix, Arizona.
01:01:35.960 Okay. And single or married?
01:01:38.440 Married.
01:01:39.020 Married. And how many kids?
01:01:41.060 We have two.
01:01:42.360 Two kids. So what did you give up to get the family that you wanted?
01:01:48.300 Okay. So my story is a bit different. I've been married 22 years.
01:01:54.020 So I met my husband at 20 and we got married at 22.
01:01:58.180 he was 26 we lived in new york city i didn't have a career or anything like that but i did enjoy
01:02:05.180 working in the city um so we didn't have children until 15 years later so um i noticed that what i
01:02:14.020 had to give up for my children not really so much sacrifice for my husband because it had already
01:02:20.580 in us was obviously you know sleep your body i breastfed for five years i attended nurse for
01:02:28.180 three years i had two natural births um so you know i'm feeling the repercussions of
01:02:36.740 post-childbirth obviously your body changes tremendously um but my husband has been with
01:02:43.860 me every step of the way so i mean he saw me have a natural birth he saw me breastfeed we're
01:02:50.100 sleepless nights um i must be at home mom i've been home for 10 years so i feel like he has
01:02:56.900 sacrificed more you know as far as that i mean it's equal parts sacrifice right we have to give
01:03:04.020 up something of ourselves for the betterment of our children but not specifically for each other
01:03:09.300 as as husband and wife i don't know if that makes sense yeah could you explain that um i guess what
01:03:18.660 do you mean by that well because i didn't feel like being married was as much of a sacrifice
01:03:25.620 as motherhood oh right okay yeah so yeah being a wife uh just kind of came easy for me it was
01:03:32.100 more natural um it wasn't until we had children that i started to realize like wow this is like
01:03:38.980 this is no joke um i was an early bloomer i mean a bloomer i had my first at 35 and my second at 37
01:03:47.460 so um i felt like i had already had a lot of experience me and my husband were on the same
01:03:56.460 page about a lot of things um but obviously we both sacrificed our time you know our sleep
01:04:03.060 schedule um date nights you know sleeping in saturday mornings um our money obviously our
01:04:10.560 finances are now go towards kids everything you know as far as sports and clothing and shelter
01:04:16.180 and just keeping them alive.
01:04:18.420 So I feel like me and my husband
01:04:20.220 have been in the same boat
01:04:21.220 as far as sacrifice
01:04:22.200 once we came into parenthood.
01:04:24.980 So I don't know if I have any marital advice 1.00
01:04:28.840 as far as what women sacrifice, 0.96
01:04:32.660 but obviously sacrifice yourself, 0.78
01:04:34.580 you know, being selfless instead of selfish.
01:04:37.460 So I serve him first
01:04:39.260 and then I serve my children.
01:04:41.620 But for 15 years,
01:04:43.580 that's how we operated.
01:04:46.180 so i think um children was has been a huge sacrifice for both of us
01:04:53.780 well that was great thank you for calling in thank you pearl keep doing what you're doing
01:05:07.460 she's over 35 she looks young
01:05:09.380 um you said that's all the callers okay great I can't believe I got callers today what a day
01:05:17.620 I didn't think any women watch okay so
01:05:22.240 uh most people okay okay so guys that was my question of the day what did you sacrifice to
01:05:32.140 get the man that you want thank you to the married women for calling in we know there's 0.88
01:05:35.620 good women out there. So it's good to hear from you guys that are married and can offer insight
01:05:41.000 to what married life is like. Let me know what you guys think in the comments. Make sure you like
01:05:45.600 the video on your way out and subscribe to the channel. And please go to theaudacitynetwork.com
01:05:51.440 and sign up for our monthly or yearly memberships. Love you guys. I'll talk to you next time.
01:06:05.620 You