Pearl - Women Vs. The Fertility Window (They Lost)

00:00:00.000 he told us basically that our best chance of getting pregnant would be to do IVF and I remember

00:00:08.720 laughing and being like this guy is crazy that he's telling a 22 year old to do IVF. It's kind

00:00:15.600 of crazy because she's so young like she got married at 22. What's up guys welcome to my

00:00:21.100 reaction series. So women we have pushed having children older and older and unfortunately 0.99

00:00:26.100 some women are going to be able to have kids older than ever however there's going to be 1.00

00:00:31.700 another cohort of women there's winners and losers in life that are losers and they're either 1.00

00:00:36.240 too fat to have kids or um or they waited too long or they potentially caught an incurable std 0.97

00:00:43.600 or endometriosis would you say is a tough experience that you've been through your life

00:00:49.380 and how would you say you've overcome it they found out that i can't have children and i always

00:00:56.180 wanted a family i wanted a big family what were the thoughts going through your mind in those

00:01:00.240 moments because as you said that motherhood was something that was like really important to you

00:01:03.940 and then when you do find a partner that you you know you want to settle down with and you want to

00:01:08.020 have that in a family life you know them being told such news what goes through your mind in

00:01:12.380 these moments but how did that affect your mental health i have ocd and i developed more kind of

00:01:17.940 rituals and things that I had to do to feel like I could cope with the world.

00:01:22.120 I was just devastated still going through that process.

00:01:25.480 What's kind of giving you that positive vibe about yourself now then, do you think?

00:01:28.920 I think it's my love of nature and animals.

00:01:31.340 I see the magic in everyday things.

00:01:34.760 I love spring or the new growth.

00:01:37.180 At least she's got a positive attitude about it, I'll say.

00:01:40.380 A bit of flowers.

00:01:42.580 I think I'm really lucky.

00:01:43.580 Seems sad not better.

00:01:44.580 have a lot of passions and i'm an artist as well so i i wonder what caused the infertility because

00:01:50.720 i'm telling you it's a lot more stds than we think the reminder that if a doctor has ever told you

00:01:56.340 that you can't get pregnant or can't have kids and you obviously still have like your uterus

00:02:02.100 and ovaries and stuff don't listen to them get a new doctor i'm an ob-gyn and i can't tell you

00:02:08.400 how many times i've seen patients in the office be like oh no my previous doctor said this is

00:02:13.700 selling hope. Now, I'm sure there's some cases, try everything, right? But there's going to be

00:02:18.060 a lot of women that get infertile either from an STD or endometriosis. I can't get pregnant because 0.98

00:02:22.800 I have PCOS or endometriosis or because I'm fat or because whatever reason. And I'm just sitting

00:02:30.740 there like, I just want to punch your past doctor in the face. Don't tell women that unless I'm 1.00

00:02:39.460 it's true physically i've said this before unless i physically am the one to remove where's my 1.00

00:02:46.180 sunscreen to remove your uterus you can get pregnant oh drives me nuts and this sounds like

00:02:57.900 mumbo jumbo you cannot have kids one it's a major loss for you as a person to have just found this

00:03:05.700 out that you don't have that ability to do. There's a lot of grieving involved with that

00:03:12.820 because you're grieving the fact that you will never have kids, the future of not being able

00:03:18.320 to experience, you know, what it means to possibly carry a child, hold a child, you know, all those

00:03:24.580 things. You just don't get that. So that's a process where you have to work through. You also

00:03:29.620 got to deal with inadequacy. My body is not doing what it's supposed to do, what it was made to do,

00:03:34.640 what it was designed yeah i think that's got to be a major like failure as a woman on some level

00:03:39.860 like you just biologically i mean that's that's the one thing men want you know as kids to do i 0.96

00:03:45.760 don't have that ability so you have to one work through that yourself then talk to your partner

00:03:51.640 as well and get couples therapy to be able to really process and go through that as well because

00:03:57.200 it's that's the challenge because especially if it was something that you guys wanted now you can't

00:04:01.980 do it. Don't not talk about it or not get therapy because of it. If you don't, it's something that

00:04:12.080 will affect your relationship. Are you guys okay with a man leaving a woman because she can't have 0.94

00:04:16.620 kids? I think she should at least offer him second wife. I found out that I wouldn't be able to have 0.99

00:04:22.660 kids. So I've struggled with infertility for about four and a half years now. And I have to say it's

00:04:29.440 been one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through. My husband and I always said that

00:04:33.940 after two years of marriage, we would try to start having kids and we were super excited. The first

00:04:39.940 couple of years of our marriage, we just would travel a bunch and we were super happy. And once

00:04:46.660 two years hit, we decided, okay, it's time to start trying to have a baby. We were super excited for

00:04:51.860 this time in our life. And I just thought I would get pregnant super fast. I had no idea that I

00:04:57.260 would end up going down this crazy rabbit hole of infertility treatments and all the crazy things

00:05:03.520 but after about a year of trying naturally and tracking my cycle and doing all of that

00:05:09.440 we didn't get pregnant and so I had read somewhere that it said after about a year

00:05:14.920 you should go to the doctor and get checked out to make sure everything's okay and at this point

00:05:19.600 I was like no it's probably just taking a little bit longer but we ended up going to the doctor

00:05:23.780 anyways just to just make sure everything was okay when we went to our first infertility doctor

00:05:31.140 he told us basically that our best chance of getting pregnant would be to do

00:05:37.620 ivf and i remember laughing and being like this guy is crazy that he's telling a 22 year old

00:05:45.540 to do ivf it's kind of crazy because she's so young like she got married at 22.

00:05:49.700 too. And I thought he was out of their control. I wonder what caused it just wanted my money.

00:05:56.260 And I was in denial. I insisted on going to a new doctor to get a second opinion because

00:06:02.180 I really did think that doctor was crazy. I thought that he didn't know what he was

00:06:06.460 talking about. There's no way that a 22 year old could be struggling with fertility problems,

00:06:11.300 right? So we went to a second doctor to get a second opinion. And what do you know, that

00:06:16.700 doctor actually told me that I was in early menopause and that I had a count. I had something

00:06:22.120 called diminished ovarian preserve, which you normally see in 40 year old women. I'll never

00:06:27.580 forget how I felt when I got that news. And it still kind of stinks thinking back to that day.

00:06:33.000 Um, at the time I just felt really bad. Like, obviously I was just feeling bad for myself,

00:06:40.100 but the hardest part for me was feeling like I'm letting down my husband. Like he should have

00:06:45.220 married someone who didn't struggle with fertility problems. And it was just a really hard time for

00:06:52.640 us. So flash forward and we ended up doing an IUI and it failed. And then we started preparing to

00:07:01.740 do IVF like the first original doctor told us. And we ended up doing about three rounds of IVF

00:07:07.300 this past year and they were all unsuccessful. So obviously it's been a really long and hard

00:07:13.600 journey. But I, in a weird way, am kind of grateful for it because I feel like my husband

00:07:20.780 and I have grown so close together and we've grown so strong. And I look back at everything

00:07:27.320 that's happened in the couple of years that we've been trying to have a baby. And I think,

00:07:32.080 you know what? It just wasn't the right timing. So for me, at the end of the day, I know that

00:07:37.880 God has a plan for me and my husband. And I don't know exactly. That's sad because, you know,

00:07:43.080 there's so many women that get this from stds and stuff and it's like well you kind of did that to

00:07:47.280 yourself but like when a young woman who marries young has to go through that body is made to do 0.78

00:07:52.640 it you always hear to have children and get pregnant and give your husband or your fat

00:07:58.260 a baby and things like that so your girl was thin pretty young what else you know i definitely feel

00:08:03.160 broken that's the thing in life is you can't always control the hand you're dealt and sometimes

00:08:08.380 you're just dealt a bad hand i used to like have times where i i stopped going to baby showers

00:08:14.540 because i just didn't want to be like it's it's it wasn't to be like mean to the expected mother

00:08:21.420 or things like that it was just that i have my own issues that i'm dealing with and to go to

00:08:25.900 catelings all these baby showers and i'm not able to conceive myself i'm suffering in silence that

00:08:32.140 way as well because like like i want to celebrate you but like in the deep in inside i might i feel

00:08:39.900 broken as a woman like i can't do what a woman's body is naturally made to do so it make you it

00:08:45.740 make you feel broken make you kind of feel less than a woman because like he's like dang like

00:08:49.980 this is what i made dude i can't do it so it made me feel broken made me i went through a bouts of

00:08:55.340 like sadness and depression so it it can it can it can do way or told on you like mentally yeah

00:09:02.380 i can only imagine because i can't do yeah um i mean she's overweight but it's still like you 1.00

00:09:10.140 just don't know it's kind of like rolling the dice obviously um you know it's kind of like women

00:09:15.420 there's high-risk women and low-risk women but it's the same thing with infertility it's high

00:09:19.900 risk and low risk and some people just get a bad you know hand so anyways guys let me know what you

00:09:24.700 what you think in the comments like the video if you can subscribe to the channel ring that

00:09:27.940 notification bell and I'll see you next time

Pearl - June 30, 2026

Women Vs. The Fertility Window (They Lost)

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