Pearl - June 30, 2026


Women Vs. The Fertility Window (They Lost)


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

191.17

Word count

1,815

Sentence count

59

Harmful content

Misogyny

7

sentences flagged

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 he told us basically that our best chance of getting pregnant would be to do IVF and I remember
00:00:08.720 laughing and being like this guy is crazy that he's telling a 22 year old to do IVF. It's kind
00:00:15.600 of crazy because she's so young like she got married at 22. What's up guys welcome to my
00:00:21.100 reaction series. So women we have pushed having children older and older and unfortunately 0.99
00:00:26.100 some women are going to be able to have kids older than ever however there's going to be 1.00
00:00:31.700 another cohort of women there's winners and losers in life that are losers and they're either 1.00
00:00:36.240 too fat to have kids or um or they waited too long or they potentially caught an incurable std 0.97
00:00:43.600 or endometriosis would you say is a tough experience that you've been through your life
00:00:49.380 and how would you say you've overcome it they found out that i can't have children and i always
00:00:56.180 wanted a family i wanted a big family what were the thoughts going through your mind in those
00:01:00.240 moments because as you said that motherhood was something that was like really important to you
00:01:03.940 and then when you do find a partner that you you know you want to settle down with and you want to
00:01:08.020 have that in a family life you know them being told such news what goes through your mind in
00:01:12.380 these moments but how did that affect your mental health i have ocd and i developed more kind of
00:01:17.940 rituals and things that I had to do to feel like I could cope with the world.
00:01:22.120 I was just devastated still going through that process.
00:01:25.480 What's kind of giving you that positive vibe about yourself now then, do you think?
00:01:28.920 I think it's my love of nature and animals.
00:01:31.340 I see the magic in everyday things.
00:01:34.760 I love spring or the new growth.
00:01:37.180 At least she's got a positive attitude about it, I'll say.
00:01:40.380 A bit of flowers.
00:01:42.580 I think I'm really lucky.
00:01:43.580 Seems sad not better.
00:01:44.580 have a lot of passions and i'm an artist as well so i i wonder what caused the infertility because
00:01:50.720 i'm telling you it's a lot more stds than we think the reminder that if a doctor has ever told you
00:01:56.340 that you can't get pregnant or can't have kids and you obviously still have like your uterus
00:02:02.100 and ovaries and stuff don't listen to them get a new doctor i'm an ob-gyn and i can't tell you
00:02:08.400 how many times i've seen patients in the office be like oh no my previous doctor said this is
00:02:13.700 selling hope. Now, I'm sure there's some cases, try everything, right? But there's going to be
00:02:18.060 a lot of women that get infertile either from an STD or endometriosis. I can't get pregnant because 0.98
00:02:22.800 I have PCOS or endometriosis or because I'm fat or because whatever reason. And I'm just sitting
00:02:30.740 there like, I just want to punch your past doctor in the face. Don't tell women that unless I'm 1.00
00:02:39.460 it's true physically i've said this before unless i physically am the one to remove where's my 1.00
00:02:46.180 sunscreen to remove your uterus you can get pregnant oh drives me nuts and this sounds like
00:02:57.900 mumbo jumbo you cannot have kids one it's a major loss for you as a person to have just found this
00:03:05.700 out that you don't have that ability to do. There's a lot of grieving involved with that
00:03:12.820 because you're grieving the fact that you will never have kids, the future of not being able
00:03:18.320 to experience, you know, what it means to possibly carry a child, hold a child, you know, all those
00:03:24.580 things. You just don't get that. So that's a process where you have to work through. You also
00:03:29.620 got to deal with inadequacy. My body is not doing what it's supposed to do, what it was made to do,
00:03:34.640 what it was designed yeah i think that's got to be a major like failure as a woman on some level
00:03:39.860 like you just biologically i mean that's that's the one thing men want you know as kids to do i 0.96
00:03:45.760 don't have that ability so you have to one work through that yourself then talk to your partner
00:03:51.640 as well and get couples therapy to be able to really process and go through that as well because
00:03:57.200 it's that's the challenge because especially if it was something that you guys wanted now you can't
00:04:01.980 do it. Don't not talk about it or not get therapy because of it. If you don't, it's something that
00:04:12.080 will affect your relationship. Are you guys okay with a man leaving a woman because she can't have 0.94
00:04:16.620 kids? I think she should at least offer him second wife. I found out that I wouldn't be able to have 0.99
00:04:22.660 kids. So I've struggled with infertility for about four and a half years now. And I have to say it's
00:04:29.440 been one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through. My husband and I always said that
00:04:33.940 after two years of marriage, we would try to start having kids and we were super excited. The first
00:04:39.940 couple of years of our marriage, we just would travel a bunch and we were super happy. And once
00:04:46.660 two years hit, we decided, okay, it's time to start trying to have a baby. We were super excited for
00:04:51.860 this time in our life. And I just thought I would get pregnant super fast. I had no idea that I
00:04:57.260 would end up going down this crazy rabbit hole of infertility treatments and all the crazy things
00:05:03.520 but after about a year of trying naturally and tracking my cycle and doing all of that
00:05:09.440 we didn't get pregnant and so I had read somewhere that it said after about a year
00:05:14.920 you should go to the doctor and get checked out to make sure everything's okay and at this point
00:05:19.600 I was like no it's probably just taking a little bit longer but we ended up going to the doctor
00:05:23.780 anyways just to just make sure everything was okay when we went to our first infertility doctor
00:05:31.140 he told us basically that our best chance of getting pregnant would be to do
00:05:37.620 ivf and i remember laughing and being like this guy is crazy that he's telling a 22 year old
00:05:45.540 to do ivf it's kind of crazy because she's so young like she got married at 22.
00:05:49.700 too. And I thought he was out of their control. I wonder what caused it just wanted my money.
00:05:56.260 And I was in denial. I insisted on going to a new doctor to get a second opinion because
00:06:02.180 I really did think that doctor was crazy. I thought that he didn't know what he was
00:06:06.460 talking about. There's no way that a 22 year old could be struggling with fertility problems,
00:06:11.300 right? So we went to a second doctor to get a second opinion. And what do you know, that
00:06:16.700 doctor actually told me that I was in early menopause and that I had a count. I had something
00:06:22.120 called diminished ovarian preserve, which you normally see in 40 year old women. I'll never
00:06:27.580 forget how I felt when I got that news. And it still kind of stinks thinking back to that day.
00:06:33.000 Um, at the time I just felt really bad. Like, obviously I was just feeling bad for myself,
00:06:40.100 but the hardest part for me was feeling like I'm letting down my husband. Like he should have
00:06:45.220 married someone who didn't struggle with fertility problems. And it was just a really hard time for
00:06:52.640 us. So flash forward and we ended up doing an IUI and it failed. And then we started preparing to
00:07:01.740 do IVF like the first original doctor told us. And we ended up doing about three rounds of IVF
00:07:07.300 this past year and they were all unsuccessful. So obviously it's been a really long and hard
00:07:13.600 journey. But I, in a weird way, am kind of grateful for it because I feel like my husband
00:07:20.780 and I have grown so close together and we've grown so strong. And I look back at everything
00:07:27.320 that's happened in the couple of years that we've been trying to have a baby. And I think,
00:07:32.080 you know what? It just wasn't the right timing. So for me, at the end of the day, I know that
00:07:37.880 God has a plan for me and my husband. And I don't know exactly. That's sad because, you know,
00:07:43.080 there's so many women that get this from stds and stuff and it's like well you kind of did that to
00:07:47.280 yourself but like when a young woman who marries young has to go through that body is made to do 0.78
00:07:52.640 it you always hear to have children and get pregnant and give your husband or your fat
00:07:58.260 a baby and things like that so your girl was thin pretty young what else you know i definitely feel
00:08:03.160 broken that's the thing in life is you can't always control the hand you're dealt and sometimes
00:08:08.380 you're just dealt a bad hand i used to like have times where i i stopped going to baby showers
00:08:14.540 because i just didn't want to be like it's it's it wasn't to be like mean to the expected mother
00:08:21.420 or things like that it was just that i have my own issues that i'm dealing with and to go to
00:08:25.900 catelings all these baby showers and i'm not able to conceive myself i'm suffering in silence that
00:08:32.140 way as well because like like i want to celebrate you but like in the deep in inside i might i feel
00:08:39.900 broken as a woman like i can't do what a woman's body is naturally made to do so it make you it
00:08:45.740 make you feel broken make you kind of feel less than a woman because like he's like dang like
00:08:49.980 this is what i made dude i can't do it so it made me feel broken made me i went through a bouts of
00:08:55.340 like sadness and depression so it it can it can it can do way or told on you like mentally yeah
00:09:02.380 i can only imagine because i can't do yeah um i mean she's overweight but it's still like you 1.00
00:09:10.140 just don't know it's kind of like rolling the dice obviously um you know it's kind of like women
00:09:15.420 there's high-risk women and low-risk women but it's the same thing with infertility it's high
00:09:19.900 risk and low risk and some people just get a bad you know hand so anyways guys let me know what you
00:09:24.700 what you think in the comments like the video if you can subscribe to the channel ring that
00:09:27.940 notification bell and I'll see you next time