Pearl - March 19, 2026


Women Vs. THE WALL

Mentioned
Rams
RECAP： I Won While Being Hungover! Biology Doesn't Care About Your Feelings

Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

210.28

Word count

2,525

Sentence count

51

Harmful content

Misogyny

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

As a woman in her 40 s, how do you cope with a 45 year old man on a dating app? How do you deal with the fact that you can't seem to find a good guy in your 40 s?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 hang on i have to think that says no one's asking all right let's see oh no a fat old woman i mean
00:00:04.480 she's the last girl was chubby this is fat oh no what is going on people on this show we really
00:00:11.200 love to react to people coping and today we are gonna react to women trying to cope with their 0.57
00:00:16.800 loss of beauty as they date in their 40s now look um i'm not in the doomer camp there's always gonna
00:00:22.880 people be people that figure it out no matter what their situation is uh but as a 40 year old woman
00:00:28.720 you have a loss of buying power in the marketplace and you can cope um and try to blame everyone else 1.00
00:00:35.520 except the defeat and the l um women don't take l's that well so i just don't see this going 0.99
00:00:42.480 our way but you know could happen so let's see what these lovely ladies have to say am i asking
00:00:48.880 too much out of a 45 year old man that's on a dating app yes we match um we chit chat on tuesday
00:00:57.600 he asks if I want to get a drink. So it sounds great. So what about Saturday? So my Saturday
00:01:03.240 is free. It's lucky me. That was it. That was the only response. So Wednesday morning
00:01:09.080 I wake up and I said, just name like, you know, the, the time and the place and it's
00:01:14.240 a date took him a whole day. Like, cause he was busy messaging younger women. I mean,
00:01:20.800 like we know what this is. Can we just, you know, like if a guy understands that if a
00:01:26.400 woman's responding to him slow that she's messaging someone better uh so this also you know we got to
00:01:32.820 just you know the the median is the message lady we're now on thursday for him to respond and say
00:01:37.860 he knows of two places um in like two different areas but if that's too far he can find somewhere
00:01:43.520 else i said no those are great not a problem that was noon on thursday date is saturday
00:01:50.180 Thursday goes by nothing Friday goes by nothing Saturday I wake up getting through my day morning
00:01:58.120 he texts says hey I know you're a baseball fan are you also a football fan yeah I'm out running
00:02:04.760 errands I'm at the farmer's market it's like 10 10 30 at this point yeah he texted like five women 0.81
00:02:10.180 that that's why I mean come on ladies um again this is embarrassing you just aren't as desired 0.92
00:02:16.740 as other women, and that's okay. We all take L's in life. But just eat the L and stop coping. 0.99
00:02:22.120 He's like, do you want to watch the Rams playoff game or wildfire game? I said,
00:02:28.020 typically I'd love to, but that's at 1.30. So kind of need a little bit more notice than that.
00:02:33.900 But I have held my evening for us to get drinks because I don't know what time. Are we going at
00:02:40.460 five? Are we going at eight? I don't know. I can't make any plans for my evening because he hasn't.
00:02:45.800 Yeah, because you consider him high SMB. That's the only reason you would do something for a guy
00:02:50.640 like that. And they have choice. And a lot of times it's not you, just CPL. Said, even though
00:02:55.380 I've asked. He said, not a problem, drinks, yeah, still on for drinks. Thought maybe that would tee
00:03:02.360 up like what the plan is. No, no, still, still no response after that. I let some time go by
00:03:08.340 because I had already asked where, when, and I don't want to be pushy, but like it's 1.30
00:03:17.040 and I, what am I supposed to do? Just get dressed and sit on my couch starting at like 4.30 and wait
00:03:22.460 for him to text me? I don't know. So, all right, let's put some girl game into this. You got to
00:03:30.180 just still seem happy and flirty. Let me think about this. What would I do? Send nudes. Sorry,
00:03:36.320 i'm just messing i'm just messing um yeah you know because you gotta you gotta signal to him
00:03:41.560 your price is low very low i feel like now i'm getting bitchy and annoyed and i know i'm a type
00:03:45.900 a and i like a plan but this like not having one at all and it's supposed to be this evening and
00:03:52.420 the expect it feels like the expectation that i'm just holding my entire day for him for somebody
00:03:57.760 that i don't even know feels a little like disrespectful of my time like he's clearly
00:04:03.920 going about his date so like do i just go about my day and like be like sorry never didn't didn't
00:04:10.020 ever hear yeah look you can make other plans if you want but uh it's a controlling thing just if
00:04:16.260 he texts you great if not you can't do anything about it so i'm supposed to be going on a date
00:04:21.840 in 90 minutes and i have not heard from this man for two days yes i could message him but
00:04:28.180 but i don't chase yeah see again um the young men are talking about how they're getting ghosted
00:04:33.900 well how do you like them apples old ladies just eat the l if you're interested how far would you
00:04:39.100 drive to bang or put it in the comments five minutes would you do it and if you're not you 0.99
00:04:43.480 won't i know a lot of women if not most women would just not go i think i might go anyway just
00:04:49.380 because we were going to meet up in a food truck court and i'm hungry so uh i think i may just get
00:04:55.380 ready and go because i need to get gas anyway so i'm gonna get gas go get some food if he doesn't
00:05:00.440 show up which may seem likely now that he's not messaging then i'm just gonna unmatch him and move
00:05:05.780 on and if he does show up that's actually not a bad that's not a bad um you know um like
00:05:12.780 that's not a bad way to go about it i have a conversation about expectations because
00:05:19.180 it's weird to not talk to someone for days before a date and not to confirm
00:05:23.360 also for context this is after we were talking about my chronic illness so oh no well you
00:05:30.040 shouldn't have told him that that could be part of it it is now an hour before we're supposed to
00:05:35.400 meet up and still have not heard from him so i have to assume that he's not coming however i'm
00:05:41.260 going to take myself out let's see if he decides to show up then we'll have a conversation side
00:05:46.540 note we were going to meet at a food truck court so very casual so this is the fit
00:05:50.600 uh his loss it is not really you're mid um and an overweight mid at that pick a struggle
00:05:59.660 15 minutes before we're mid old and overweight you again you got to pick struggle here you got
00:06:04.160 to be thin close to me and i'm here still haven't heard from him okay that took a turn about five
00:06:10.900 minutes after that last clip he messaged me and said he was there and i was like really
00:06:15.820 um so we did sit and talk about a lot of different things i got super distracted and
00:06:22.340 completely forgot that i wanted to sort of have a word with him about the lack of communication
00:06:26.860 um and then we we kind of hung out for like two hours we had battle buns we had oh he showed up
00:06:32.600 i i didn't expect that we chatted about a lot of different things super nice guy
00:06:37.580 not not interested not really sure that there's any sparks there for me at least
00:06:42.340 but he is demisexual at least that's what it says on his profile and he keeps talking about like slow
00:06:47.540 burn and all this kind of stuff so i was like well maybe it'll take a little while and then we went
00:06:51.680 to the car he walked into my car and i went to hug him and i'm pretty sure he was planning on 0.92
00:06:57.860 kissing me and i didn't kiss him i just hugged him but like if you're demisexual why are you
00:07:02.480 kissing on a first date right because you're old they're not waiting you know because then that 0.57
00:07:08.960 makes me suspicious of you and think that you're lying about being demisexual he did also say he
00:07:14.720 lives with his parents although he said it my parents live with me and i'm like is this like 0.64
00:07:20.320 a cultural i think you guys deserve each other thing because you guys deserve each other he's
00:07:25.780 korean i don't know is it just like i'm trying to save money they're trying to save money because
00:07:31.380 he did say they're retired and like obviously cost of living in california is crazy and he does have
00:07:36.160 a job a good job though i don't imagine he makes a lot of money because he works in a charity um
00:07:42.040 he did not offer to pay for anything i just realized that as well which is fine i don't
00:07:47.540 mind going dutch on a first date i just yeah i didn't even really realize that until just this
00:07:52.820 moment so i don't know i'm taking some time to process whether i want to go out with him again
00:07:57.680 whether i want to just be friends with him or whether i'm cool just not seeing him again um
00:08:02.800 i also just realized this was the first date i've been on and like hang on i have to think
00:08:08.180 that's because no one's asking all right let's see oh no fat old woman i mean she's the last
00:08:12.620 girl was chubby this is fat oh no that's super awkward third date last week and i want to tell
00:08:18.000 you about it to see if there's any opinion if i did anything wrong the first two dates were great
00:08:23.080 no problems we had a great time great conversation there was no physical touch other than a hug
00:08:28.260 at the end and he communicated that he was into me I communicated that he was into him
00:08:32.820 we were on the same page so he made plans for me to come over to his house and watch a movie
00:08:37.060 and he had asked me if I was open to some more physical touch and I said yes we're on the same
00:08:41.680 page consent everything's good so that day I go and pick up this lemon bar that he really likes
00:08:46.360 from this local shop and to surprise him and he asked me what I want to drink and eat and whatever
00:08:51.820 so he's gonna say a lot so what do you want to eat she's gonna say everything everything's great
00:08:56.540 so far so far great he texted me like three or four hours before and he's like hey are you still
00:09:01.100 planning to swing by tonight and i was like swing by weird okay don't know what that means not the
00:09:09.560 terminology i would use but you know i was like okay i whatever i get to his house around seven
00:09:14.460 o'clock we had agreed on a movie so that was all set he had bought um some chips and some cheese
00:09:20.600 and brought me a root beer and it was great i thought it was very kind and sweet that he
00:09:25.480 like kind of got snacks i sit down on the couch while he's prepping the snacks and i'm he's got
00:09:29.820 kind of one of those l couches and i sit in the middle he brings snacks over and he sits and he
00:09:34.580 sits like a good three or four feet away from me like he'd have to like reach to touch me and like
00:09:39.860 that's weird but whatever he's being respectful he's been respectful this whole time so the movie's
00:09:44.620 playing and he's still kind of far away from me and i'm like okay that's weird i'm starting to
00:09:48.160 feel a little awkward about that because he's the one that wanted to initiate physical touch and
00:09:52.300 then i see him open his phone and he starts texting i'm like okay not a big deal like something you
00:09:57.980 know just responding to a text and a few minutes later he does it again and he continues to text
00:10:03.240 through this whole movie sitting four feet away from me so we're making like kind of small talk
00:10:08.960 joking about the movie it was a funny movie and then the movie ends and i'm like okay maybe now
00:10:14.020 you know there'll be some physical touch something like that but no he starts talking about this tv
00:10:18.720 show and then he makes this comment about highlander the tv show and he's like yeah i put on
00:10:24.160 highlander when i want people to leave and i'm like when like when girls are at my house i want
00:10:27.920 people to leave i'm like that's a weird comment um okay i'm gonna take this this is time for me
00:10:31.920 to go um he didn't put on highlander but it was just it was weird so we're chatting we're kind of
00:10:37.120 yeah you were too big for him to smash okay what's max max let's hear about your problems ladies i'm
00:10:42.880 not dating because i live in l.a and men here are just way too feminine for my taste so but 1.00
00:10:49.760 translation i like the feminine the men she complains about they're her type so she likes
00:10:53.840 the artsy like why else are you in la you could be in like houston isn't that like oil rigs or
00:10:59.200 something occasionally i would feel hopeful and go on the app like on hinge and read that man's
00:11:04.880 profiles and look at my likes and i have to tell you they are not even trying like i'm reading
00:11:11.200 guys profiles look at she's attractive enough a lot of guys are gonna do it um so yeah the issue
00:11:18.000 is in la there's masculine men okay there's masculine men everywhere there's firemen there's
00:11:23.680 blue collar workers if you're into that so there's a guy that's willing to do it they all put
00:11:28.880 instagram and they're 40 they're 50 60 no matter what so they put instagram and i'm thinking like 0.99
00:11:34.720 why i don't even put instagram so that's them their prompts are absolutely the worst they would
00:11:40.240 have something like first rounds in me if you can guess my favorite football team just like
00:11:47.440 things are that are so off-putting they have the worst way i don't men like men like football
00:11:53.840 poses the worst photos i'm looking at it and she's like wow it's so yucky what are they even doing
00:12:03.120 on those apps i don't understand who is attracted to them not to mention they all look like they've
00:12:09.600 been through world war three you know what i mean it's like do they get any dates i'm just like
00:12:16.880 they they would should be trying a little harder come on all right let's see um they want they're
00:12:23.200 going to try harder for the younger women not you sorry ladies okay i guess it's not a series if i
00:12:28.080 don't make more than one um so second episode of dating after 40. so i've been dating now for almost
00:12:36.400 a month about a month i've been on seven dates i think so i'll just go through them i guess okay
00:12:46.480 so first date we have incredible texting conversations i mean literally it was like
00:12:52.160 talking to a male version of myself um anyways that was wonderful showed up met up at a pub
00:13:00.240 super cute had a good time um decided to go somewhere quieter so we ended up going a few
00:13:06.160 different places anyways conversation was good he was super sweet um he was a little a little
00:13:13.200 more um adhd than i was anticipating but he told me he was we were at dinner and he we're having
00:13:22.000 this great conversation with our waitress she was quite a bit younger um i loved her and he would
00:13:28.480 prefer her than you and he ended up asking for a number emulating finishing and i don't mean his
00:13:37.200 meal in front of her um oh no yeah so we never spoke to him again after that yeah again um if
00:13:45.120 he cared he wouldn't have did that what do we make of this he probably was like yeah this is a wash
00:13:49.360 i'm gonna do what i want met a man matched on the literalmatch.com chit chat for a couple days he
00:13:56.480 said i would like to ask you on a date here's my phone number i said that is very gentlemanly i
00:14:03.040 like that a lot you're tall you have some good qualities you look like a decent human let's do
00:14:09.360 it and here's our text message conversation he sent me his phone number at 2 45 pm
00:14:18.560 at 3 15 p.m i texted the number and said hey handsome with brown heart hands like tan like
00:14:33.920 the tan brown heart hands and he said hi how are you doing and i said good i just got home
00:14:41.600 how are you and he said i'm okay i can't complain but who is this yeah he sent his number to like
00:14:48.000 five people and then i didn't respond yeah she responded um yeah so she found out she's sharing
00:14:54.000 a man and she's gonna bang him and didn't respond and he said are you there lol dot dot dot i said
00:15:04.240 if you're not sure who this is i'm sure i'm not the one for you that's so entitled i mean like
00:15:15.280 come on when she was young and hot do you think like if a guy was super possessive after a first
00:15:20.800 date you would just be like what's wrong with you like you know what i was talking to someone
00:15:24.640 recently and he was telling me about this girl that he really liked or blah blah blah and i'm
00:15:30.160 like you've never he's he mentioned in the conversation he'd never matter they just talk
00:15:34.560 on facetime and i'm like you care about a girl you've never met that's kind of gay so anyways
00:15:40.400 All right, guys, let me know what you think in the comments.