Pearl - September 05, 2024


WOMEN Will Always Do What THEY WANT! ｜ Pearl Daily Clip


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

178.00633

Word Count

2,550

Sentence Count

48

Misogynist Sentences

29

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about the lessons I learned from interviewing over 1000 women and how I learned to be a better version of myself. I also talk about some of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships and how to avoid them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 now i want to give you guys context the things i'm going to talk about next this is a year of
00:00:04.560 doing shows so interviewing a thousand people these are some of the lessons that i learned
00:00:09.920 in this process and what happened was i would recruit women for the show about eight people
00:00:15.600 would show up and i would do these panel shows and we would debate different topics and i would
00:00:19.920 get people's perspective on relationships okay so one thing that i had heard is that women
00:00:26.560 love a man that cheats or that can't cheat and i thought that was untrue but when i interviewed a
00:00:32.880 thousand women i would get a little bit more specific if we had a show about cheating i maybe
00:00:39.280 would start and say have you ever been cheated on and i couldn't believe how many women said yes
00:00:44.800 it was pretty much every single woman maybe 70 i would say yes i have been cheated on and when
00:00:52.960 you hear that on its head you they you they tell you the story whatever but i decided to dig a
00:00:58.720 little further my second question would always be did you leave or did you stay when you found out
00:01:05.520 and i would say 80 of the time women stayed second thing i figured out was if they ended up leaving
00:01:14.000 the man they left him when he stopped cheating so i had a clip that went viral where i said that
00:01:20.640 women love being cheated on because i had just done 10 shows where every it was it was i couldn't
00:01:28.400 even believe it i would say have you been cheated on yes did you stay or did you leave no i stayed
00:01:35.120 how long did you stay six months okay and then did you end up breaking up with him yes okay well
00:01:41.760 did you was he cheating then well no so you know what what conclusion am i supposed to have you
00:01:49.360 You know, the next lesson that I learned interviewing a thousand women is that, and this is a little
00:01:54.400 bit counterintuitive, but it doesn't really matter.
00:01:57.400 And this is just a people skill anyways.
00:01:59.380 It's not just about women or men, but, you know, people say things and people lie to
00:02:05.180 themselves to the point where they believe it's true.
00:02:08.120 You know, I would have women that came on the show that were single mothers that truly
00:02:12.500 believed they were traditional women.
00:02:15.060 How can you be a traditional woman and a single mother?
00:02:17.620 Those don't really go hand in hand.
00:02:19.360 you you simply cannot and the cognitive dissonance that i would see over and over again
00:02:26.160 led me to believe led me to conclude that sometimes people virtue signal but you have
00:02:33.360 to watch what they do another example that i thought of was that there was a woman that
00:02:38.800 came on my show the whole show she said i like nice guys i do i'm done with the bad boys i
00:02:46.480 like nice guys well this show my recruiter had brought one of his friends to watch the show
00:02:52.720 and this guy i didn't know this at the time i didn't know who he was but sometimes the recruiters
00:02:56.640 would bring their friends to like watch a show at this point this guy was just out of prison i i
00:03:01.120 don't know why he was at my apartment i'm like why would you bring him or like he dealt drugs or
00:03:06.320 something i don't know what he was doing but anyway besides the point he got her number and
00:03:11.280 and took her home that night. And this woman for an hour, the whole show. So what did I conclude
00:03:18.420 was that sometimes people lie, obviously, and sometimes people lie to themselves to the point
00:03:26.020 that they believe that it's true. Okay. Out of a thousand people, I found maybe three women that I
00:03:33.740 would say came off as close to traditional. So a lot of times what I would hear is that the
00:03:40.960 conservative bunch or the conservatives would always say go to church and find you a good woman
00:03:46.040 but when I and when I interviewed women I would get women that were Muslim I would get women that
00:03:52.880 were Catholic I would get women that were Christian I would get I would get all different
00:03:57.680 types of women and out of a thousand maybe three that and guys by the way I don't I'm not saying
00:04:07.040 that I am traditional or any of that, but I can observe what makes someone traditional and what
00:04:13.280 makes someone not. And typically women that are traditional prioritize their family over their
00:04:18.620 career above all costs. So you can't really say you're traditional if you spent your youth
00:04:24.860 not having a family, right? You can't really say you're traditional if you're working 80 hours a
00:04:31.140 week with, you know, there's just things that I look for in the way that women carry themselves
00:04:36.360 and choices that they made that I would deem them, you know, just from my perspective,
00:04:41.260 traditional or not traditional, I'd say maybe three out of a thousand. And a common pushback
00:04:47.420 I would always get was, oh, it's just the types of women you bring on your show. But being in
00:04:52.760 London, it was so, I mean, we had normal women, we had professional women, we had women that were
00:04:57.800 doctors that came on our show i mean we even had women that were wives that came on our show
00:05:02.920 and i would even try to recruit i would be fine find me these super you know trad why i couldn't
00:05:08.920 find them the next thing i learned is that very few women can process information without taking
00:05:14.200 it personally an example of this is one time i tweeted that 25 women are 25 year old women
00:05:20.760 are better looking than 35 year old women and there were married mothers tweeting me their
00:05:26.600 selfies trying to prove to me some random woman on the internet that they are still hot
00:05:32.760 i was never talking about anyone in particular i never said a specific name i just said you know
00:05:38.360 as we get older we're not as good looking the same way if a guy i don't know at 60 or 70 he
00:05:44.840 probably won't be able to lift as much if you if you say that to most guys they probably won't
00:05:50.600 tweet you their muscles you know but so what i realized is i could never make a general statement
00:05:57.880 about men and women dynamics without people and men have this problem too right it goes both ways
00:06:06.280 but without it being taken personal many many of the men that go on these shows and say they would
00:06:13.320 never cheat either don't have the option or they're lying there is a point where there is
00:06:19.800 a guy that was like a regular on our show and his whole thing was that he does not cheat he's a
00:06:25.000 loyal person and what i found is the more someone says that they're loyal the less likely they will
00:06:30.440 be just in life like people that are loyal don't really have to say it but it was it was really
00:06:35.560 funny because he was dating like three women on the show it's like you don't people don't think
00:06:40.840 i get the gossip like but you know i'm never one to like call someone out on a show if i know stuff
00:06:46.120 i just let him go you know i also found out that most women have an ex that they go back to in
00:06:51.240 between breakups so you know beware guys good luck and the other thing is that oh the other
00:06:59.000 one thing that i learned was that many women or many times when people say they became something
00:07:05.160 or change something it's more that they're trying to convince themselves so i would always hear i
00:07:11.080 became feminine i became feminine and i don't know their demeanor wasn't i couldn't really
00:07:17.400 put my finger on what it was but i found the women that were femininity coaches had a tendency
00:07:26.520 to be really not feminine at all i would find they would be the most masculine ones and guys
00:07:33.000 this was so taxing on me so again at one point between me and king rich's show
00:07:38.280 So we had six shows a week. So I got to a point I just could not. It was so frustrating to me to
00:07:47.880 have conversations over and over again where the information could never be taken in general. It
00:07:53.760 was always taken personal that I just needed a break. I just needed a break. Okay. So another
00:08:00.820 thing that I concluded was that I used to think that women had real reasons for leaving their
00:08:07.620 families I would think it would be a very serious you know I would think divorce is a serious thing
00:08:14.220 women don't do that for no reason and when I got into the space I would hear that over and over
00:08:19.500 again and I would just think to myself well it can't be that simple and to be fair it's not
00:08:25.540 the only reason right sometimes there are real reasons but overwhelmingly interviewing a thousand
00:08:31.740 women, I found out that the common answers I would get for why are you divorced would be I outgrew
00:08:39.280 him. That was the number one answer that I got. Or we outgrew each other. And when I would dig and
00:08:46.220 say, well, was he abusive? Did he do this? Did he do this? There was nothing. And what I came to
00:08:52.000 realize is most people value their own happiness above their children's. Another thing I learned
00:08:58.560 is that the women, I think conservatives paint the past as a better time to be alive.
00:09:06.280 I would always hear that, and I maybe even said it at some point, that the past was better because
00:09:11.040 it was more traditional and families stayed together. But when I really got to thinking
00:09:16.220 about it, the women of the past did not like their husbands that much because the second they got the
00:09:22.600 chance, they took the money and left. Again, I don't look at what people say. I look at what
00:09:26.920 they do. And as soon as women got jobs and got the option to divorce, they did. And that begs
00:09:33.020 the question, would you want someone to be with you who doesn't want to be there? And that is why
00:09:37.640 I changed my opinion on banning no-fault divorce. You know, because I just, I think it's got to be
00:09:43.520 torture to be in the same house as someone who doesn't want to be there. I don't know. And some
00:09:48.820 of these, some of the wives are so miserable, guys. They just nag on their husbands, like
00:09:54.240 endlessly i why torture them so i used to think that marriage and family was the answer right
00:10:02.880 when i first got into the space again before some of you might not have even seen this content but
00:10:08.160 before i really went super viral and started talking about divorce laws and all that stuff
00:10:14.320 i thought that marriage was the solution to a lot of people's problems traditionalism
00:10:20.880 but what i came to find out was that marriage in 2024 is overwhelmingly a negative experience for
00:10:28.560 men most men that have been married over a certain amount of time did not have happy marriages i
00:10:34.000 found out that 80 percent of their wives gained 20 pounds or more in the first five years i found
00:10:40.640 out the average length of marriage is eight years i found out that gray divorce is rising and a lot
00:10:46.160 of the stats on marriage not being dead were a bit misleading because they keep they include
00:10:52.800 people that don't have not yet got divorced and i realized that a lot of people want to sell their
00:10:59.440 religion they want people to convert to their religion and so they mislead you on the reality
00:11:07.120 of the situation now there is a silver lining and i'm going to get to it i had a tweet detailing so
00:11:14.160 i interviewed a lot of men that were victims of divorce great and these are men that lost
00:11:19.440 everything in divorce wives left took the kids took their money lost their job like just complete
00:11:25.600 l right and i found out it was a common pattern that after the second child a lot of these women
00:11:32.320 stop sleeping with their husbands and get the divorce the timelines differ i found this
00:11:37.600 consistent amongst Muslim background, Catholic background, Christian, United States, California,
00:11:48.100 Texas, Florida. And I found out that the average marriage just is not, it's not a good experience
00:11:54.980 for most men because they don't get anything out of it. And this was really hard for me to reconcile
00:12:01.040 because most people i knew were married but one it doesn't mean they'll stay married and two it
00:12:08.040 doesn't mean that's the average situation and what i figured out is marriage seems to be going away
00:12:14.000 for the middle class and be something for the upper class and that's it so um the other thing
00:12:21.700 i i realized is most men live on their wife's terms not theirs even christian women i found that
00:12:29.340 they would almost be worse quality. And I know, I know the Catholics and Christians hate me for
00:12:34.180 this, but gosh, I went, I've been to like five Christian weddings. And every time I would ask
00:12:40.920 the wives before they get married, will you obey your husband? It's overwhelmingly no. I'm like,
00:12:46.540 isn't that the one job? Isn't that the one thing? So, you know, but what I did conclude after this
00:12:53.660 year is that I do think that the only marriage that's left is the purest marriage that you could
00:13:01.100 possibly have. So in the past, women stayed for money. In the past, women stayed because of
00:13:06.780 culture. In the past, women stayed because of religion. Now you're paid to leave. Now your
00:13:13.580 failure rate is well above 50%. They lie to you about these stats, guys. Your chance of success
00:13:20.400 is roughly 10% but the people that make it work you know they're there because they love each
00:13:27.660 other because there's nothing in this society that's keeping people together so that was my
00:13:33.620 conclusion after a thousand I'm interviewing a thousand women and just some lessons that I
00:13:39.940 learned this is what it is happy wife happy life the people that the people that don't want to get
00:13:45.140 married oh i understand it i completely understand there's no good reason for a guy to do that in
00:13:50.800 2024 not the odds are completely stacked against you the laws are completely stacked against you
00:13:56.340 the judicial like everything is completely stacked against you if you do get married i would i would
00:14:02.780 hire a pi you know i would get a prenup i would do all of that but my conclusion is the couples
00:14:09.640 that make it work and figure it out in this mess of an environment have the most pure form of
00:14:15.660 marriage that there's ever been take it or leave it you can disagree that's fine