Playing to Win - 023 - How To Become a Chad With Women

00:00:00.000 to win number 23. I'm on with my boy, Paul Benjamin. What's up, brother?

00:00:06.300 What's up, Rich?

00:00:07.880 So those of you that do not know Paul, I shall do a quick intro. For those of you that do,

00:00:15.260 he really does need no introduction. He's been a longstanding member of my community and

00:00:19.880 also my business chair, a bit of a mentee, building your own YouTube channel.

00:00:23.920 Um, you are the official Chad. I'm going to have to water this down for YouTube. Cockadoodle

00:00:30.280 do. Cockadoodle do is what we'll call it. Cockadoodle do. Thunder cockadoodle do is what

00:00:37.280 we'll call you. Um, we've been on many, many, many, many private zoom, uh, broadcast with

00:00:43.400 the community, just kind of shooting the breeze. And, uh, we've had some, I mean, we met in person

00:00:47.860 last summer too, down in Detroit when I was down for that rally. Um, awesome dude, military

00:00:53.260 career, previously very plugged in plebby blue pill beta today, sitting before you gentlemen

00:00:59.920 is a truly red pilled man that is living a life that many would dream of, uh, without

00:01:07.020 Lambos, uh, get quick rich scheme courses and sign up for my blah, bitty, blah, blah. So

00:01:15.740 without any further ado, Paul, um, where should we start? Let's, let's kind of start with the

00:01:21.140 plugged in pleb that you were right. Because I mean, you've, you've come a long way today.

00:01:26.040 You're, you're 42 now, right? Yep. So we're going back to your twenties now, right? We're

00:01:32.720 going back to maybe even earlier than that in the teens. Yes. I was raised by a single

00:01:37.880 mommy, which is never good. And it's not that I don't love my mommy. She's great, but she's

00:01:44.200 a single mom, right? It always, it always comes at a price for most men. It does. It does.

00:01:49.800 What was that like growing up with a single mom? Like, is it, is it the standard narrative,

00:01:53.000 you know, fed a steady diet of, you know, bend the knee to women and be kind, just be

00:01:58.440 yourself, be humble, blah, blah, blah. Oh yeah. Yeah. So my, all right. So my whole thing

00:02:04.600 was, and this is the reason why this is an important story to tell is because when guys

00:02:10.180 look at me now and I've been told this, this isn't something I just sort of think, but I'm,

00:02:15.820 I'm the, the Chad thunderslogging, right? Like they think I'm just like this all the

00:02:19.900 time. I showed up, I was, I popped out of my mom's womb, you know, just, you know,

00:02:26.160 smash. Wait a second. You didn't come out with the cigar lit and the tattoos on your arms?

00:02:29.960 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Smoking a cigar, you know, doing squats and, you know, playing with my rifle

00:02:35.840 or something like out the womb, you know, I mean, it just, and then slaying women, right?

00:02:40.600 They just think I'm this, this guy that is genetically naturally like this and, and that

00:02:46.700 there's no way they could ever be like this or live the kind of lifestyle I live. And, and

00:02:54.020 that's absolutely not true because when I was plugged into the, in blue pilled, more of a

00:03:01.460 blue pilled kind of an alpha. Okay. But when I was blue pilled, it was misery and I was living

00:03:07.540 the same life that a lot of these guys that come to your community that come to the red

00:03:13.200 pill can relate to. And so I'm, you know, a lot of guys get black pilled right away, you

00:03:19.940 know, and they assume, well, I don't have this. I don't have that. I don't need to chase excellence.

00:03:24.780 I'll never be that guy. So I'm going to go buy a doll or I'm going to go in monk mode for

00:03:31.580 in perpetuity, you know, and they don't work on themselves. And that's a mistake. So my,

00:03:39.540 I had sort of a hero complex, always wanted to be a protector. I was a heavy into like martial

00:03:45.840 arts growing up. And so I was kind of.

00:03:48.020 When did you get into that? Was that in your teen years or?

00:03:50.840 I got into it. My grandson, that's interesting. My grandfather was very alpha dude. He was,

00:03:55.800 he was a role model to me. He was a bare knuckle fighter and he won golden gloves in the thirties,

00:04:02.500 the late thirties. And then he did karate and judo back when it was hard, like in the fifties,

00:04:07.800 you know, and he got me involved. He with my mom got me involved into a karate school that was

00:04:15.000 owned by competitive fighter. He, who was a world champion level kickboxer. They were linked up with

00:04:20.880 the boxing gyms in Detroit and Pontiac. So it was, I was playing with my grandfather and goofing off

00:04:27.960 as long as I can remember. Formals training started when I was five. I never stopped. So if you do the

00:04:33.820 math, I'm 42 now, it's been, it's been a while and, um, got into, you know, weapons-based Filipino

00:04:40.540 martial arts, got really far in that, along in that on an international level by the time I was in my

00:04:45.780 twenties. And so that was a big deal for me. I was always this protector. I was always that type

00:04:52.460 than having a single mom. I'd be the oldest time. I always felt I should protect the mom. And then I

00:04:59.020 of course need to protect the women. Right. And there's nothing, there is nothing worse than a

00:05:06.340 white knight, blue pill alpha that can kick the crap out of you. That's the worst person. I was the

00:05:12.740 worst person back then. And I was not getting laid and women were not, it's not all about getting

00:05:18.200 laid, but women were not attracted to me. They just were not based on that behavior, you know?

00:05:23.840 And so that was the big deal. And the thing is, is that women don't just offering, they're not just

00:05:30.860 not attracted to, to guys. Hang on a sec. Hang on a sec. Hang on a sec. I'm going to get you to back up

00:05:35.200 about 10 seconds. Cause we lost the connection for some reason. Okay. Yeah. Just back up about 10

00:05:40.920 seconds in that story. Okay. So back up tense. All right. So, um, so the thing that a lot of guys

00:05:47.680 who are, you know, have these beta behaviors or, you know, people don't understand is women don't

00:05:52.460 just not like they don't just, they're not just not sexually attracted to the beta. They despise

00:05:59.540 the beta because on an evolutionary level, that man is a risk. So they're designed to actually hate

00:06:07.400 and despise that guy who has beta behavior. Cause they see them, her hindbrain as roller would call

00:06:13.760 it, sees them as a, as a evolutionary risk as a survival risk. And they will, they don't want

00:06:20.360 him to procreate. They don't, they, they want to use that guy up to spit them out. And that's what I

00:06:25.740 experienced in my teen and early 20 years. I would bring girls flowers who, you know, Chad just left

00:06:32.620 banging them out and I'm bringing them flowers and on a holiday. And you know, I was that guy.

00:06:38.480 It was, you want to hear a funny story? Yeah. Yeah. So first, so first girlfriend, I cooked up this

00:06:45.400 idea. I heard some BS on the radio. So this is how plugged in blue pill guys like us would have

00:06:50.040 operated back in the day. Cause you're about the same age as I was. I heard some crap on the radio

00:06:53.840 about when you take a girl out, you bring her this color rose at the start of the date and you give

00:06:58.840 her this color rose at the end of the date. And I was thinking to myself, golly gee, there's some,

00:07:03.660 there's some science. Maybe I should do that. Will it curse? And, uh, I did, you know, just like

00:07:08.680 a dork. Um, it did work though, strangely enough, but, um, yeah, looking back at it on, but I mean,

00:07:17.160 looking back on it on hindsight, like it was, it was such a bad approach to women's sexual marketplace

00:07:23.720 and ROI on your time. Um, how old were you when you got married? You said you were in your,

00:07:28.920 was it 25, 26, 26. I got married at 26. And so how did that happen? Why did you decide to do that?

00:07:35.680 All right. So I finally went into a nerd zero sex rage somewhere around after I finally got laid at 19.

00:07:45.460 I didn't get, I didn't have sex for the first time until I was 19 years old and it wasn't for lack of

00:07:52.320 trying. Yeah. I tried to, don't worry. It wasn't for lack of trying. Fist bump that shit.

00:07:58.460 Yeah. Right. Right. I mean, it was, it was terrible. And then of course I meet with like the town

00:08:03.740 herald, you know what I mean? And so now I started banging and that's all she's about. So I'm like,

00:08:10.320 in me, I'm, I'm all about like figuring things out. And I still, so I'm like tantric sex. What's

00:08:16.740 this about? Like, I'm like reading stuff to figure out how to bang this girl. So she doesn't leave me

00:08:21.560 because that's, she's like, has a problem. Right. And so I keep around for a couple of months,

00:08:26.980 but just like any woman who can't pair bond, they're eventually going to cheat. And that's who

00:08:32.300 she was. And so she, uh, she, she, she nailed down two of my friends at a party. Yeah. So that was my

00:08:40.040 first night. No, I was with her for like a couple of months and kept her, kept her happy. And then I

00:08:47.520 got, I had exam week. So I couldn't, I was like, I got a stud. I told her, I got, I got, I told her

00:08:53.660 to get lost at exam week. It's really what happened. And, uh, and so she goes to a party, all BPD

00:09:00.180 distraught because they told her to get lost for a week. Oh my God. You abandoned her. Yeah. I abandoned

00:09:06.360 her. And so she, uh, poor girl had to get trashed and try all her holes out on two of my friends.

00:09:12.720 So I say friends loosely and, um, uh, um, yeah, we can, we'll keep it clean and disgusting at the

00:09:19.640 same time. Right. But, uh, but so yeah, um, it's, that was my experience. And then I still had this

00:09:26.720 thing where I'd crush on a girl and it was bad, but I turned it around because I was, I was the friend

00:09:32.620 zone guy. Right. And I was the emotional tampon because I had good social skills. It was a good

00:09:38.320 listener and I became the emotional tampon. And I finally had that observation that red pill figured

00:09:43.820 out way later, which is just a woman's strategy to use men as resources, whether it's emotional

00:09:50.620 resources, labor or, or, you know, physical resources, money. And so I was the emotional resources

00:09:57.540 guy. Cause I had this alpha kind of behavior. I was this protector and they could confide in me and

00:10:03.580 all this stuff. And I finally realized, wait a second, all these girls that I'm interested in

00:10:08.580 have several guys that in their male orbiters, right. That are all supplying needs to them.

00:10:16.540 And all those guys want to have sex with her, but she's not going to have sex with any of those guys.

00:10:22.140 She's using them. She knows what's happening, using them as a resource. And then she has some

00:10:28.940 guy over here that does none of the things that any of these guys are doing. And she, that's the

00:10:35.320 guy she's, she sees for sex. That was alpha seed beta need at the time though. Didn't know that at

00:10:41.020 the time, but I finally went, wait a second here. So these guys that do nothing get to have the sexual

00:10:48.020 connection. And if they wanted to pursue something more, all the change, the tire guy, the take you

00:10:55.220 out of the dinner guy, the talk to you on the phone guy, you know, all of these other guys were never

00:11:01.180 going to be that. And I finally got pissed and said, no, what I'm not doing it anymore. I'm just

00:11:07.600 going to say, I'm not going to be friends with girls unless I want to be platonic with them. If I'm

00:11:12.940 interested in sex and pursuing something else, then they don't get any of my time or my resources

00:11:19.700 or my energy. And I didn't know anything about game, but it just made that decision out of just

00:11:25.480 being finally tired of it. And then all of a sudden I was spinning plates in my 20s.

00:11:31.740 Sorry to interrupt, but did you ever read the Chateau Hartis entry, be a Skittles man?

00:11:37.360 Um, yes. Yes. Okay. So I'm going to post it here. I don't want you guys to read it right now,

00:11:43.580 but just so it's a placeholder, uh, just pop it up into a new browser and read it afterwards. But

00:11:48.560 basically what Paul's talking about was he was not the Skittles guy, but he saw the Skittles guy.

00:11:54.560 Yeah. And just to, just to sum it up, what the Skittles guy was, was in this article was the guy that

00:12:01.980 just brought along a pack of Skittles, but he got all the intimacy and everybody else was doing

00:12:06.740 everything else beyond a pack of Skittles. It got nothing, but yeah, just read the story. It's,

00:12:11.400 it's, it basically sums it up perfectly. Yes. And the thing was, I had a really diverse friend group.

00:12:18.020 Um, and since, Hey, since race is a hot topic now, a very multiracial friend group. And it was

00:12:24.740 interesting. Like a lot of my black friends, they just grew up with a more dominant alpha behavior

00:12:30.140 than some of, some of my white friends and they were just killing it with women. Right. And they

00:12:36.700 were acting, they would act like a-holes and they were very direct, not even discreet about it. And

00:12:44.440 they would just, and I always thought, well, they can get away with that because they're my black

00:12:48.300 friends. It's a, it's a black thing. They can get away. And, and, and, you know, and my black

00:12:52.560 friends would probably be like, Hey, you know, they call me Pete, right? Hey Pete, don't, don't do that,

00:12:56.860 man. Don't act like that. You know, tell her, get the hell out of here. Whatever. You know what I mean?

00:13:01.240 Using, using other colorful language, but you know what I mean? Tell her to bring her ass over

00:13:05.600 here. You know, I'm like, you can tell her to bring my ass over here. I'm a white guy. That

00:13:09.140 doesn't work for me. Wrong. Okay. You don't want to culturally act like someone else, but being

00:13:15.060 direct and dominant is, is very effective. And so I started, they even had me reading. I even read

00:13:22.240 iceberg slim. Okay. The old, if you've ever heard about that guy that he was a, he was

00:13:28.220 a pimp. So no, but a lot of rappers. So back in the day, a guy named ice tea, right? Was

00:13:36.420 a rapper. Right. Um, so he had his albums out and he, he referenced iceberg slim as like

00:13:42.120 a role model for his pimping days. And so he was a, he chronicled his pimping days and

00:13:48.480 it was all like in the 1930s, forties, fifties. And I always looked at that, like, well, these

00:13:54.600 women are hoes and that's why the stuff works. No, no, this is, this is YouTube. We have to

00:14:00.800 use garden tools. Oh God. Okay. I'm sorry. I hope this is not going to, I'm trying not

00:14:05.520 to get you demonetized. I'm like the worst. I'm working on this. Okay. The garden tool.

00:14:09.620 We'll get you there. Cause I mean, you got to build your own channel without getting it.

00:14:12.600 I know. This is why some of my videos do get shut down because of this, but yeah. So garden

00:14:17.500 tools and the nice girls, the good girls would never be like that or respond to that. Now

00:14:24.520 there may be a cultural difference and it may be more extreme with the actual garden tools

00:14:28.660 that were selling their body. But the reality is they're insane when it comes to, they're

00:14:35.000 all garden tools in their hindbrain. Their sexual decisions that they're making are driven

00:14:41.220 by a primal centers in their instincts. I mean, they're part of their instincts and they're

00:14:46.380 all garden tools that she may be a smart, well put together woman as a human being, but

00:14:53.260 her decisions are not being driven by that part of her brain. And so I started to experience

00:14:58.080 this and started spinning plates and it was starting to do pretty well and started to understand

00:15:02.640 things, but I still had the blue pill mindset when it came to relationships. So here comes a

00:15:09.120 high value woman, you know, you found a unicorn. I found a unicorn. She was, Oh, here we go

00:15:16.000 guys. Oh, she was amazing. Paul found the one. Yeah. And she, I found the one, the one. And

00:15:25.440 so she, Oh goody. Tell us all about the one. Oh, and she was four years older than me. Oh,

00:15:31.420 even better. And, um, yeah. And so she was in her more towards her late twenties. I didn't

00:15:36.720 understand what the epiphany stage was and that I was the contextual alpha for her as

00:15:44.180 how I behaved active in my, my dominance and stuff as, as how it just has how it was.

00:15:49.600 Right. I didn't understand that. I thought she was better than I was because she was older.

00:15:53.960 And in my mind, well, she could just be dating attorneys with more money than me. I was just

00:15:58.180 getting started. I hadn't joined the military yet because I couldn't get in after high school

00:16:04.580 because I had psoriasis and it was disqualifying at the time. So that was my big plan. I always

00:16:10.960 had, I thought I would go, you know, ranger, special forces, whatever. And I, and I, I was

00:16:16.440 like, Oh, I can't. So then I went to college. Right. And I was told by my, I was always instilled

00:16:23.560 in my, by my single mommy that I had to be the nice guy. Cause she, my, my mom, God bless

00:16:30.760 her. Did not make the best decisions when it came to surprise when it came to men. Right.

00:16:36.120 And so she was attracted to the alpha, just like they all are and despise the beta and

00:16:42.560 she would get hurt and banged up emotionally by the alpha. And so she just wanted to raise

00:16:47.780 her boy to not be someone who would hurt other women. So I was told of course, to be the nice

00:16:53.820 guy, to bring her flowers guy, to placate to her, to qualify to her, to earn her, to chase

00:17:00.940 her, all the things that violate her hypergamous brain and send a message that I am lower value,

00:17:07.860 which is why these women were not attracted or aroused by me. When in my younger days, before

00:17:14.440 I started figuring it out and finally set my standards, it would be an on running, running

00:17:19.220 joke because I was one of the better looking at my friends. A girl would be interested in

00:17:24.160 me and they'd be like, watch, give him like 10 minutes. He'll be in the friend zone.

00:17:30.180 And then I would just qualify to her and ask her and wow, you're so, you're so smart. And

00:17:36.340 like, you know, like I was just such a dork. And, and then here I am this, this guy who

00:17:41.720 can like beat up all my friends acting like a dork in front of this woman. So now it's

00:17:46.260 not even congruent. You know what I mean? So I don't even trust my niceness either. Like

00:17:51.420 I'm not this harmless, nice guy. It was a mess. And, um, but yeah, so then figured it

00:17:57.280 out, got married and fell right back into that blue pill mindset of relationship. And it was

00:18:03.720 a lot of it was religious driven, you know, driven by Christianity. Um, nothing wrong with

00:18:08.820 Christians out there, but there is something wrong with how the church handles the sexual

00:18:12.880 marketplace and sexual dynamics.

00:18:15.520 Was your household growing up very religious? Like, did your mom take you to church or?

00:18:21.700 Yeah. So I wouldn't say very, I would say because there was a, so that's another thing. There

00:18:27.500 was a, there was a lot of, I had a father around for a while and I had eject him from the home.

00:18:32.560 He was, it was very abusive situation in my household. So I grew up with a lot of abuse,

00:18:38.200 which actually helped me later in terms of being able to compartmentalize combat stress

00:18:43.920 and stuff like that. I mean, I was almost built to handle, you know what I mean? Um,

00:18:48.860 violent scenarios. Uh, when I, I worked in a lot of, uh, security, terrible bars that get

00:18:54.860 shot up type places as, you know, just bouncing all that kind of stuff, uh, later in my twenties

00:19:00.580 prior to my marriage, that's how I got a lot of girls in the back then, you know? Um, but

00:19:05.200 I can handle those scenarios and maybe good in the military, but obviously not so good.

00:19:09.860 And that's not how every kid turns out. And, um, but, but anyway, um, I forgot what the

00:19:14.760 question was, but yeah, we're talking about if your household was religious, did you have

00:19:18.740 any siblings by the way, or was it just two little brothers? Um, so they're not on the

00:19:24.220 path that I'm on exactly. So we'll just put it like that.

00:19:27.020 I'm just, I'm just curious. What do you like? Cause I mean, you guys are really going to see

00:19:31.420 why we call him Chad thunder cockadoodle dude by the end of this broadcast, but how do they view

00:19:37.660 like the videos that you make in the conversations that you have? Like, are they like, uh, you're a

00:19:41.800 misogynist or you hate women? Like, what do they say to you? Um, not much. They don't say much about

00:19:47.700 it. They always considered me a little bit crazy anyway, because I was this, I was the, the tough,

00:19:54.200 tough guy, whatever, you know what I mean? And we all get beat up at one point. Right. So it's

00:19:58.780 not really all the time, but I was, uh, known as this. They just figured I was just a little bit

00:20:03.320 crazy. I was a crazy guy who would go do, you know, stuff and go do combat stuff overseas, you

00:20:08.520 know? And so they just figured, Ooh, okay. Um, there was a little bit judgy, uh, when the marriage

00:20:14.900 first broke up, but I think, I think my, my one brother does watch and listen and kind of learn

00:20:22.020 from my videos and what I'm talking about, but he's in a very plugged in marriage right

00:20:26.600 now. You know what I mean? And so he's got to come to terms with that and figure it out.

00:20:31.480 You know, I'm here for him. If he wants me to help him, I've already helped him in a few

00:20:35.360 things with that, but no, I'm curious. Cause I mean, I get, I get a bit of the same with

00:20:38.780 my brothers too. Cause I got two younger brothers and it's like, I think my youngest one gets it.

00:20:43.480 Like he kind of nods when I talk about stuff. Now my middle brother, not so much. Um, but my

00:20:48.180 youngest one, it's like, dude, man, sometimes I have conversations. I'm like, dude, if you

00:20:52.340 ever bring a single mother to Thanksgiving with three kids in tow, we're going to be

00:20:56.260 having some serious problems, bro. But, um, anyway, so talk about your, um, talk about

00:21:02.960 your one itis, your one, your unicorn, the woman that you married first.

00:21:06.280 Yeah. So, so yeah, spinning the plates, but none of them were as typical relationship material,

00:21:13.400 but I was, when you, when you are the alpha slay guy, okay. The alpha seed guy, um, you

00:21:21.200 find out women's primal nature and what it's like. And you, if you're still blue-pilled kind

00:21:29.040 of like a blue-pilled alpha still plugged in, you, you judge them on it. You think, oh, well,

00:21:35.300 she's not a good woman. I mean, there's certainly characteristics we look for, like in your red

00:21:41.740 flags chapters and the book that's going to come out, it's going to be very valuable. You need to

00:21:45.980 pay attention to red flags. They need to, we need to pay attention to the values. Get on the list,

00:21:50.780 guys. Make sure you grab that. It's also pinned in the top comment. Yeah. It's, it's, it's valuable.

00:21:56.400 It's valuable and it's valuable to understand their values, but it's, again, it's accepting the

00:22:01.140 fact when you're, when you're red-pilled and you're alpha, you accept women for who they are.

00:22:05.420 You're not hoping, hoping this one's different. They all have these drivers.

00:22:11.040 It's how they handle the drivers that make them, let's say LTR material or not. Right. But in my

00:22:17.540 head, I was dating these women and they were exposing themselves in their sexual nature and

00:22:22.900 their drives, which is very savage and not what the blue-pilled world thinks. And so I would discount

00:22:28.520 these women as not being good girls. So I would just sort of bang them, but I wouldn't take it

00:22:33.360 anywhere. And then I met the one-eyedest who was a good girl. And actually she is, you know,

00:22:40.520 has great values and has a lot of good things going for her. So not to take that away from her,

00:22:45.420 she does. But a lot of things that I didn't understand that I was the higher value person,

00:22:50.340 even though I was younger. And even though I was still getting my, my financial feet out from under

00:22:56.840 me, I was always, I was looking at the beta characteristics that women choose men for,

00:23:02.160 for settling down. I was looking at, you know, question, what, what made you higher value than

00:23:08.320 her? Because you're a 26, she was epiphany 30. Um, we already know that women don't typically marry

00:23:14.340 down. They only marry across and up on the socioeconomic scale or the sexual marketplace,

00:23:19.280 if you will. So what made your value higher than hers?

00:23:21.660 Yeah. So my, my, well, we were, um, making about the same money. I was probably making a little

00:23:28.560 more than she was, but my economic potential was much higher. So I was just getting started

00:23:34.540 entry level making about the same as she was. And I had the potential to exceed that where in her field,

00:23:41.700 she really didn't have that potential, not to mention. So when you're the alpha seed guy,

00:23:47.540 and this is what I found later, the economics don't matter as much as people think. Now I'm

00:23:52.920 not suggesting that you don't chase excellence because as a man, you should for you not to get

00:23:58.740 women. And if you're financially stable, we understand. And you're financially well off.

00:24:03.860 We understand your, but your life is just better. You know what I mean? And your choices are going to

00:24:08.260 be better. But when women are choosing you out of genuine desire and alpha frame, if their desire is

00:24:16.020 high enough, they abandon that stuff. And we see this, of course, a lot of women might not be high

00:24:21.360 SMB or they're, or they're dysfunctional, but we see this when women go for guys who are dirtbags,

00:24:26.660 women go for guys who are in jail. There's something about that guy. What it is, is his alpha leadership

00:24:32.380 and his alpha frame. And so I had a very dominant frame and she fell right into that, you know? Um,

00:24:40.000 but my blue pill model of how relationships should go where a man placates to a woman, serves a woman,

00:24:49.760 enters her frame, tries to fulfill her goals, dreams, and imperatives. All of those things that we think

00:24:58.440 when you're a religious guy, the dutiful husband's supposed to make his woman happy and make sure she

00:25:04.180 does everything she ever asked for. And, you know, she wants the house, this particular house,

00:25:09.960 you get her that house because, you know, you're a dutiful husband and this is what, what, what,

00:25:14.840 what men do, you know, it's the trad con model. Right. And so I had that, but what happens is you're

00:25:21.100 supplicating yourself to a woman that's with hypergamy that never works. They will always become

00:25:27.560 unexcited, unattracted to you, and they will not trust your frame. When you supplicate yourself to a

00:25:33.840 woman, she sees you. So I'm here. She's here. She looks up to me, very attracted, aroused by me as

00:25:41.220 the commitment starts to happen and continue. And I started making all of those concessions,

00:25:47.660 right. And I start doing everything to serve her. Did you go through a betatization by a thousand

00:25:53.680 concessions? Yes, but I did it to myself. Most guys do it to themselves. Yeah. You know, and, and I,

00:26:01.520 I said, no, I got to take care of this and do these things for her. And now I'm not suggesting

00:26:06.560 in LTI, you don't do things for a woman, but it's different. What you're providing for her and what

00:26:12.040 you do for her is, is different than what a beta guy does. Right. And so I was, um,

00:26:19.740 placating to her and trying to serve all of her needs. I was B I made myself her beta slave,

00:26:25.960 even though she saw me as different than that. What, what do you think happened? She got

00:26:31.240 ungrateful. She got, you know, um, critical nagging. She did not trust my frame as a man.

00:26:40.180 So she got controlling because a woman wants you to be better than her and to lead. And she's

00:26:46.360 designed to serve you. This is how they're biologically designed.

00:26:51.020 Was that, was that like from the get go or did that take a few years to happen for you?

00:26:55.220 It took some time, you know, because, but, but I mean, it started to happen rather quickly

00:27:00.440 because I saw she was a good girl, right? Which is blue pill paradigm. And I said, she pulled the

00:27:09.520 thing where she was like, well, I don't date around. Um, so I'm either with the guy or I'm not.

00:27:16.100 She pulled that thing very anymore is what you always add to that. When they tell you that course

00:27:20.440 and I, you know, she would have, she would have stuck with me if I said, yeah, well, you know,

00:27:26.600 I don't just jump into a commitment and you know, I protect my commitment. I'm serious about who I

00:27:32.340 get a commitment with. So we're not just going to do that right away. We're going to see each other

00:27:36.480 and see how things go. And if I didn't commit to her, she still would have seen me, but in my head,

00:27:40.820 I went, Oh no, this is a high value woman. Who's a good girl. I need to do the right thing.

00:27:46.700 That's going to make me happy. According to my trad con values and my blue pill values and wife

00:27:51.560 her up. And so we were living together eight months into it. And she pressured that thing to happen.

00:27:57.400 And for the rest of the relationship, she drove the relationship by pressuring the next step.

00:28:02.320 And I allowed her to do it because I was weak in relationships. I didn't have that knowledge.

00:28:08.740 And so I found myself in a sexless, loveless marriage.

00:28:13.980 When did it turn sexless? Like how quickly?

00:28:17.580 I would say after the marriage, probably about a year into it, probably after a year.

00:28:24.320 Sexless, you know, defined as like once a month or once every three or six months or on your birth.

00:28:30.060 So yeah, so it, it, um, it started out, it, it was,

00:28:34.860 it lowered itself to about once a month. And then from there, it just, it was sparse, even more sparse

00:28:45.280 after a while. And so then, then a few years after marriage, I joined the military. So one of my

00:28:53.340 buddies who was, uh, from a rigid structured unit that's, uh, was very elite at the time called

00:28:58.500 verse, uh, was, uh, it was a specialized infantry unit. He had, uh, become a recruiter. He called me

00:29:03.760 up and he said, Hey, I got a guy who can waver your psoriasis. I was miserable. I was ready to put

00:29:10.000 a pistol in my mouth. I'm not getting any sex. And I was doing, I was playing it safe. I was playing

00:29:16.160 not to lose. I was in investments at the time or for an investment bank during, during the crash,

00:29:21.740 actually after 2002. And then after that, I was managing, I was a middle level manager somewhere

00:29:26.700 and it wasn't, I was making average money. I was allowing her to drive the spending,

00:29:32.440 which means we're in debt now. Okay. So women like to make you a, a, a debt slave. So you keep

00:29:39.860 working and never leave the relationship out of duty. So she was always insecure because of how I

00:29:45.940 looked and got some of my alpha behaviors and, you know, being in shape. Cause I was in,

00:29:50.940 I let myself get out of shape for a period, but for the most part, it was pretty good shape.

00:29:54.180 And, and so she always felt insecure about that. When a woman, even though I wasn't

00:29:59.040 alpha towards her, when she's insecure, she wants to keep you a prisoner. This is why they dress you

00:30:04.540 stupid. Like in marriages are like, wear this ugly ass sweater, like wear this for the family

00:30:10.080 pictures, you know? And you're like, okay, honey, y'all put this dumb looking outfit on and look like

00:30:15.580 this total simp and it'd be completely unattractive to every younger, hotter woman out there. They do

00:30:21.700 that because they're, they have a fear. You're going to go somewhere. Then once you cave into all

00:30:26.440 that, they go, they question what they did. Oh man, I guess he wasn't that alpha guy. I thought,

00:30:32.580 I guess he wasn't. And so women don't know that they're doing this. I mean, they do it completely

00:30:37.120 inadvertently. It's, it's a subconscious behavior to betatize you. They just, they just do it. I mean,

00:30:42.880 anyway, that's a totally different broadcast. Okay. So you're in a sexist marriage. You joined

00:30:47.200 the military, joined the military. And then I would come home and she, she, she, she was very

00:30:54.160 emotionally drawn to me despite everything. It's just that she just had a lot of hangups with this

00:30:59.560 stuff. And she's had some, she had some hangups that won't get into. Cause I honestly, we have a

00:31:04.300 great, which is not normal for her and I have an awesome relationship now. And we co-parent my adopted

00:31:10.240 son. And it's, we have a great relationship. The reason we have a great relationship is because

00:31:16.000 she's in my frame, even though we're not married. Did you adopt him right away? Or was it several

00:31:21.460 years in the marriage? Several years later, that was one of those pushes. I'm very happy with the,

00:31:26.560 I'm very happy with the decision. So what happened was I would go off to training, came back and I just

00:31:32.000 kept volunteering to deploy because I hated my life at home. I'm like, well, so I'm like,

00:31:37.960 So you went to go fat, fight bad guys and dodge bullets. Cause that was better than being married.

00:31:42.960 I come home and I come home to a trashed house. She's hoarding stuff. She had animals everywhere.

00:31:47.940 She's turning into the cat lady. She was getting out of shape because she was actually really

00:31:52.380 attractive. And then she started getting out of shape. And I'm like, I'd come home and I'd see a

00:31:57.240 mess and a disaster and come home to a bad attitude and everything. And I'd be like, uh, well,

00:32:02.520 I guess they call me to go back to Iraq again. You know? So, oh, I guess I got to go to this

00:32:07.640 training. And I just kept leaving. I'm not getting sex anyways. I might as well not get

00:32:11.400 sex on a deployment. At least I can shoot somebody over it. So, so I, uh, I just kept doing that.

00:32:21.220 And so finally, after doing a stint, um, where I was active at Fort Bragg for a couple of years,

00:32:26.840 were geographically separated. Um, I came home off active, uh, was going to join the guard and get

00:32:33.920 into business. And I had opportunity to go to, uh, invite to go to CAG Delta Force. Um, if just some

00:32:42.860 might know what that is, um, talk to the recruiters, everything. I decided to not continue on that route

00:32:48.780 because I had a son. So I adopted the son towards the end and now I have the son, but I'm now leaving

00:32:55.420 and geographically separated. So I decided that I did, I, I really liked being a dad to my son and

00:33:00.960 I didn't want to, you know, go, go too much more into that lifestyle. I also wanted to start a

00:33:07.020 business, be an entrepreneur, make a dent in the world that way. And, and so it was time to back off.

00:33:12.460 And so I went national guard route and came home and now I'm home and I can't kick the can down the

00:33:18.620 road anymore. I have to deal with this relationship. And so that turned into

00:33:24.800 like, Oh man, this is going to disclose some stuff here. I'm going to get yelled at in trouble.

00:33:31.100 That's okay. We're going to do it though. Okay. So that turned into, um, you know what? Like

00:33:37.600 when there's no sex happening, there's just very, a lot of tension when I'm home. She said,

00:33:41.540 you know what? Why don't you go get your needs met somewhere else? Okay. So I was at Fort Bragg

00:33:47.760 with a SWCC attached 20th group, special forces training, all this stuff where you're like the

00:33:54.920 star college players in a college town. Women are throwing themselves at you and I'm having to leave

00:34:01.980 early, turn stuff down because it is a cheating risk. And I'm trying not to cheat and I'm still

00:34:07.380 miserable. I want to cheat real bad because everything sucks. Right. She's already told you to

00:34:12.900 cheat though. Like, yeah, this is prior to, so I came home. Now she tells me basically go cheat.

00:34:20.100 It was a, it was kind of a, uh, uh, a test. Right. Um, but, um, I failed or passed depending on how you

00:34:30.340 look at it. Cause then I had a 22 year old girlfriend two days later. So at the time I was

00:34:35.620 getting my license in real estate. That was the business I was going to start. There was this

00:34:39.380 hot girl at the place I was doing my courses at, and I just took her out. I said, all right. So

00:34:47.320 just so you know, I'm married. Um, but apparently I'm banging other people. So congratulations.

00:34:54.440 You're here with me at lunch. We're going to see what we're going to do about that. And she just goes,

00:34:59.540 okay, that's, that's kind of hot. So then that turned into, yeah, of course. And so I just went,

00:35:07.320 I was too like direct, you know, I was just moat. I didn't know any, I was just an infantry background

00:35:13.100 guy with some special eyes training. So I'm just like, well, want to bang? Like that was my game.

00:35:19.920 Right. It was straight mode one. She was like, yes, I do. Okay, cool. And so then that turned into

00:35:26.920 a thing and she ended up, she was kind of a narcissistic person. And of course I still had

00:35:33.140 relationship, uh, mindset there. So I wasn't spinning plates. I was just with this one girl.

00:35:38.920 And so she was, she was narcissistic. Did you, did you, did you declare to your wife at the time

00:35:44.300 that you were like banging a 22 year old or was it just like, you know, don't tell me about it.

00:35:48.960 Just go get your knees met somewhere else. It was that it was don't tell me about getting your knees

00:35:52.680 met. And so then I'm just smashing this person and, and living now this like double life,

00:35:57.540 you know, in a way. Um, and I started figuring out more about game and started researching pickup

00:36:05.000 and I started researching, um, evolutionary psych at that point. This is way back. This is a 2013,

00:36:13.880 2014 between, you know, so it was, it was about, you know, I, I even would got, got out. I was

00:36:20.760 embarrassed. So I didn't want to tell people that I didn't know this stuff. So I was embarrassed

00:36:26.620 about it. So I kept, I even was at the SOSWA forum as one of them and reading people's stuff

00:36:31.900 as an anonymous person. I never posted. And so I, I didn't know who these, the names were

00:36:37.820 in the, in the, these spheres, but I started, I was more interested in the pickup and the behavior,

00:36:42.820 you know, and I found that when I did behavior, because she was, she was, she was a narcissist.

00:36:48.700 So she responded to primal drives in a sense.

00:36:52.760 This was the young one that was your side check.

00:36:55.540 Yeah. So with her, it was like a big learning experience. When I would do the behavior that

00:36:59.760 would communicate high value, alpha behavior, um, alpha seed behavior, uh, to her hindbrain,

00:37:07.740 she would gravitate towards me, could not help it. No matter what her state was, no matter how

00:37:13.460 mad she couldn't help it. And then when I did the wrong things, the beta type stuff,

00:37:18.960 she would drift away. So it was like a really interesting vignette because she didn't have

00:37:24.080 the forebrain that a normal person does as a narcissist. She doesn't have an ability to bond

00:37:29.740 in an emotional human sense. She is just responding to her instincts. I don't recommend this route for

00:37:35.380 anybody, by the way, um, because these women are very toxic, but I did this for like four or five

00:37:41.900 months with her. Um, and then after her, you know, I, I, I tried to, uh, so this is, this is crazy.

00:37:51.520 This is important. Probably. I just, I hope my, my ex will forgive me for telling the story

00:37:57.020 because she'll have to go over it. She'll be fine. So I'm a terrible person. So she, she, uh, goes,

00:38:03.000 you know, um, tells me at one point that she wants to, um, me to, uh, stop what I'm doing.

00:38:08.800 She goes, whatever you're doing, stop what you're doing and let's, let's work on a marriage. I want

00:38:14.500 to work on a marriage because she knew I was doing, do another stuff. Right. Me being beta still

00:38:20.280 having beta tendencies, but getting better. I went, okay. And then I, I, so I agreed. And then I

00:38:27.480 didn't do any of it. I kept seeing the other girl. I'm like, ah, so now I'm like, I'm really screwed.

00:38:34.240 And then, and then, and then I was hiding it now, like more so. And it was escalating.

00:38:38.800 So she, um, calls my phone. It was one night I was going to try to break up with this narcissistic

00:38:48.020 chick. Okay. And then that, that try to break up that landed us in the hotel room. All right.

00:38:54.000 And so I am having, um, I'm ravaging her in the most violent animalistic fashion you can imagine.

00:39:03.800 This is important for the story. And then I look at my phone after I take a break, 35 minutes or so

00:39:10.140 in. Okay. To get some water. I see my phone and I see a ton of missed calls from my now ex-wife.

00:39:18.620 Right. And so I went, Oh, something wrong at the house. What's going on? I thought something was

00:39:23.780 wrong at the house. She had called when we were ripping each other's clothes off the phone,

00:39:29.100 but dialed. She listened to me, ravage this person for 11 minutes before she hung up and

00:39:38.460 then tried to call. Okay. She sat there for 11 minutes. This is a dread lesson for guys who

00:39:44.960 are listening. What do you think happened? So I went, Oh crap. Like she thought she found

00:39:52.580 out. Oh, I need to go. I need to go sort this out. So then I leave the chick. She's like,

00:39:57.440 you're leaving me. I'm like, yeah, I'm leaving you. I gotta go sort this out. I'll, I'll,

00:40:00.360 I'll talk to you later. You know what I mean? I was supposed to leave you anyways. How did

00:40:03.240 we end up here? I race home and I'm like, I don't tell you whatever. Right. And so what

00:40:11.340 do you think happened two days later? It's probably crazy for you.

00:40:14.820 Mm-hmm. The sexless person, we had not had any kind of sexual contact for seven months at that

00:40:22.560 point, seven months, nothing. And I was getting my needs met outside of the relationship. Um,

00:40:29.500 and then at that point that, that she listened to me with another person and, and she, and then she

00:40:36.740 goes, I don't know what got into me. Don't think you could do this to, to get me to want to be with

00:40:41.140 you. Like to me, want to have sex with you, but I don't know what got into me. She didn't know what

00:40:44.420 got into her. So this is a dread lesson for what we're going to get into.

00:40:47.480 Competition anxiety.

00:40:49.380 Exactly. And why polygamy, which is male driven polyamorous relationships is an instinctual

00:40:58.560 habit for women. I figured this, this out, not straight polyamory necessarily, but male driven

00:41:06.020 where you have an alpha male who has several.

00:41:08.480 Well, poly is the mating strategy for betas. We already know that, right?

00:41:11.840 We know that. Correct. And so, and so the reason to break that down just so guys will

00:41:17.520 understand why straight poly, where she's, she's banging other guys on the side, you're

00:41:22.080 banging other women on the side. That's a losing proposition for a number of reasons for

00:41:26.020 men. But the reason is because how women sexually select, they want to be with the guy that they

00:41:31.820 see as their sexual best, right? As their, their best genetic option. That's who they want

00:41:38.120 to have sex with. That's who they desire. And in terms of how men would like to be loved,

00:41:43.800 which is respect and honored and odd, that can only happen if she sees the guy as her

00:41:50.820 best. So this is the whole idea of being alpha widowed is that somebody else was her best

00:41:55.660 prior to, and now you're not it. And so she's not satisfied. So if she chooses to sleep with

00:42:02.480 another dude, it's not because you pressured her or some weird thing that guys do in poly

00:42:07.320 things, right? She chooses, that means she is saying her hypergamous brain saying, this

00:42:12.860 guy has something better than what I have at home. She no longer, whether she did before

00:42:18.720 or not, she no longer, when she makes that decision, no longer sees you as her best. Now

00:42:23.880 you're trying to build a life and a commitment with somebody who does not see you as the genetic

00:42:29.300 best alpha. We know that doesn't work, right? We know that leads to them becoming ungrateful,

00:42:36.200 indignant, unsatisfied, bored, all those things. And so then what happens? They accelerate their

00:42:44.100 sexual behavior with other men. It's a losing proposition. It's where a guy gets cucked and

00:42:49.240 has to sit there with a dumb look on his face and a smile and try to pretend like he's woke.

00:42:53.560 Did your ex-wife or sorry, your wife at the time know who the Twinkie was? Like, did she

00:43:00.260 know that she was this 22 year old, younger, hotter?

00:43:04.240 She stalked it eventually.

00:43:05.980 Okay. So she did some stalking. Yeah. Okay. All right.

00:43:09.180 And so, and so, so after that, we tried to work on it and then decided it didn't work,

00:43:15.020 but the sex was there and the sex was there all the time. A hundred percent. I now was running

00:43:21.460 things in a more dominant alpha fashion and all of the desire was there. And she saw me

00:43:27.520 as, and I don't recommend that guys do this as a route to get their wives to, to, to be

00:43:32.080 with them. I haven't, all right, to plug it. I do have an email list when guys hopefully

00:43:36.520 will subscribe to my channel. They get into my video. They subscribe to my email list because

00:43:40.520 I have a report that's going out, how to get your wife to start banging you again. It's

00:43:45.400 a two part, part one's out. It'll get out when guys log in and, you know, it'll get out

00:43:50.420 to that. Yeah. And guys, I'll drop Paul's, uh, YouTube channel in the chat before we wrap up

00:43:54.960 the broadcast. So don't worry, you know, we'll get you all that stuff. Yeah. Because it's, it's,

00:43:59.160 there's a certain way to approach this and that way was an accident and it just kind of worked.

00:44:03.840 That won't always work. A lot of times it won't, but, um, but yeah, so she, her sexual desire was

00:44:08.920 there and I don't think it actually ever, ever left, but now we have a good relationship.

00:44:16.480 There's a lot of hurt involved in that and, you know, and stuff obviously for, for her,

00:44:21.080 but we're over that now. It's been years. Okay. Um, but so after the marriage was done with,

00:44:27.440 after I was like, it was tumultuous, I basically took a bag and left. And so I was kind of like

00:44:35.200 a homeless gigolo for like a couple of months. I didn't have, I had too much pride to say to one

00:44:41.000 of my friends, Hey, I need a place to stay. I'll, I'll pay you rent when I, once, when a deal

00:44:46.740 closes here in about a month. Right. I think that this was like close to the entry point when I

00:44:51.520 first met you in the community, right? Like, I remember you almost like living out your car

00:44:55.160 around that point. No, no, no, no, no. It was after, it was after that. I came to you. Yep. I, um,

00:45:01.240 I came to you, I want to say 2016. So it was 2017. I want to say I came to the community like

00:45:07.100 two or three years ago. I started watching you when you, uh, just because you were this cool

00:45:12.720 dude with sweet cars and I want to be an entrepreneur. I had no idea about red pill

00:45:16.340 stuff. But then that one video where you're like, I'm red pill. I'm like, what's red pill?

00:45:22.740 To be honest, I didn't even know at that time what I was talking about.

00:45:26.220 Yeah. Now I do. You know, you're new to it. And so was I like, in terms of what red pill,

00:45:30.440 I hadn't read like any of Rolo's work yet. I got roll. I got turned on to Rolo's work, uh,

00:45:35.660 through you. In fact, I had no idea. So I figured out a lot of pickup stuff and I had been studying

00:45:40.620 evolutionary psych mostly through studies, a book, there was a, a book, uh, titled why women,

00:45:46.720 uh, why do women have sex? That was the title of it. And so I read that one. There's a number of

00:45:51.860 them that I was trying to dissect the stuff and figure it out because I realized I didn't know

00:45:57.200 anything. And so I became like, and this is why people are like, um, again, it's, it's your alpha

00:46:04.180 frame and your game is the best thing you got going for you. Um, as well as of course,

00:46:10.500 your self-care and stuff is important status money at all. It's all important, but your game

00:46:15.080 and your alpha frame is the best thing you can bring to the table because it's something you can

00:46:19.420 really work on and get a good return on that investment. And it'll help you in every part of

00:46:23.980 life, even in building your business. Right. Um, because, but yeah, I was too embarrassed to go to

00:46:29.660 one of my guy friends, tell him I didn't have a place to live. I had all these girls that were,

00:46:33.520 I was more or less spitting. And so I was living like at different girls' houses and they knew that

00:46:41.340 there was no commitment and I was just banging them and they were, you know, and they were hot

00:46:45.640 girls. It was not like they were ugly women. They were, they were, they were good looking women.

00:46:50.800 They just, they would, you know, in their, in anywhere from their twenties to in their thirties,

00:46:55.240 some, some, you know, you know, whatever. And so I didn't like that lifestyle, but I, you learn a

00:47:00.300 lot, you know, and some of these women at boyfriends, husbands, even that were out of town,

00:47:04.360 different stuff. And I'm not proud of that, but you learn a lot for how women are. Yeah. And so

00:47:09.800 she have anybody on the side, like a Jody, when you're all out deployed, like she was totally

00:47:15.680 faithful to stay at, okay. Totally faithful. So she never, so, so she went more, a lot of women do

00:47:22.100 this. Uh, they go asexual, you know, so she went more asexual, you know what I mean? Where there

00:47:28.120 was no desire, nothing happening. Um, there, there were some, a lot of things there and I don't want

00:47:32.960 to get too much into her stuff, but you know, as to why that was, but, um, but yeah, so then I just

00:47:38.360 started, I started spinning plates and, um, unfortunately I had a flavor for toxic though.

00:47:44.860 So that was my, that's when I came to you. I had a flavor for toxic. I would have,

00:47:49.680 that's almost why everybody finds me. It's like, why do I keep picking these crazy women that

00:47:54.340 destroy my life? Wait, who's this guy, Richard Cooper? What's he talking about? This kind of

00:47:58.920 makes sense. Let me learn here. Yeah. Yeah. And I actually, I came to your community for,

00:48:03.380 for more or less the entrepreneurship advice. It's such a great community of men. I'm going to plug

00:48:08.920 it, not because I'm chilling it, but because I believe in it. You know, I've been a part of it now

00:48:13.280 for a few years and it's, it's been immensely helpful to me and change life changing for me

00:48:19.140 to level up how I live my life because here's the, yeah, no problem. Cause here's the thing that I had,

00:48:26.100 I'd, I'd become so focused on women. I made the PUA mistake, which I wasn't focused on other things.

00:48:33.140 I was mostly focused on women and I found myself able to game these women, get them to do what I

00:48:38.620 wanted with no money in the bank, nothing going for me other than the gym membership.

00:48:44.520 That's not exactly good because now you're, most guys are motivated to be successful because they

00:48:50.580 need to solve a reproductive problem. Well, I was solving it like tenfold without any success

00:48:57.840 whatsoever. And so I was this, um, so I was in my late thirties, my mid to late thirties. Yeah.

00:49:05.420 And so I was solving my reproductive problem without having to be successful. So even though

00:49:10.840 I had goals, like there were years in real estate, I didn't do so well because I was too busy spending

00:49:16.140 plates and screwing around, you know, and, and it was not good. Didn't make me a good dad. Didn't

00:49:21.500 make me a good person actually. And I wasn't making my debt in the universe. I was doing as banging women

00:49:26.480 like stupid. Right. And so, and so, but the upside is I got to learn a lot and, and, and my game is

00:49:34.520 just 10th level now. And I can impart that to men. The reason that's important is because if you can

00:49:40.320 solve your reproductive problem, then you don't have to focus on it, you know? So guys get focused

00:49:46.940 on their reproductive problem or they try, I'm going to go monk mode. And then they're frustrated.

00:49:52.240 Men need to have this problem solved in a healthy manner, which means being with women, not being with

00:49:57.860 dolls, not abstaining and trying to go no fap and then losing their mind after a month and trying to

00:50:03.020 say how much energy they have or whatever BS. Okay. Like not, all right. You know, getting real

00:50:08.660 women and having healthy, good relationships and connections. Genuine burning desire. Yeah.

00:50:14.600 Whether, yeah, there's nothing like having genuine burning desire. How many times have I posted that

00:50:18.280 video to somebody's problem in the community when they're like, this is my problem. It's like, okay,

00:50:21.900 watch genuine burning desire. It's a huge, huge part of it all. It's, it's in, in a lot of guys,

00:50:27.500 most guys in the world will never know what that feels like. When you have, when you solve that problem,

00:50:32.780 you have genuine burning desire, you, it levels you up as a man and you just don't have to worry

00:50:39.120 about it. So like my version of pickup now that I teach will eventually have a course or is just

00:50:44.400 to do it throughout the course of your normal interaction in your day. I, I, when I, when I was,

00:50:50.780 when I spin plates, I don't have to, I'm not discounting the online aspect of it because the

00:50:56.860 online can be very good. Um, you know, like things like that pandemic pickup course looks like it's

00:51:02.100 awesome. They run it like a sales funnel and these are, these are good things. Okay. But I never,

00:51:08.440 I only did it to learn how just to learn. I had too many plates. I was discounting plates because

00:51:15.760 I would just go to a place like a lounge or a coffee place or whatever to do work. I would do

00:51:22.820 work in real estate and do my, and I would go someplace public and I would have something set up

00:51:28.560 for next week. And it was just, just like clockwork. And so I would spend, my average was dating about

00:51:34.820 three women, you know, in a non-committed when I'm not committed. I was dating about three women.

00:51:39.340 When I got to about five, that was like two, a little bit too much.

00:51:42.340 Did you untie the knot at this point or were you still married?

00:51:45.720 Yeah. So untied the knot that was over with when we had the decision to break clean, that was fine.

00:51:50.020 And that was a very healthy, cause I had gotten my frame back. I got, that's another thing. When

00:51:55.480 you have alpha frame, she, she, she will trust you again, even if the relationship's breaking up,

00:52:01.020 if she's not BPD toxic or having a lot of mental problems, which she does not. Okay. She just,

00:52:07.280 we just had issues in the relationship. Um, her, her focus was on the kid. Her focus was not,

00:52:13.300 she didn't want to be zeroed out, which is understandable. And we just worked it,

00:52:17.060 work things out. And we work things out to this day. It's actually very non-toxic. I mean,

00:52:21.320 it's to a point where, so my LTR, her, my son, we're probably going to go to on vacation somewhere.

00:52:27.580 Um, like when Disney opens up and stuff later, you know, like that's not an issue. You know what I

00:52:32.440 mean? You, you got into a, another long-term relationship after the marriage. I think that's

00:52:37.220 around the time that I first started to really get to know you. Yes. That was my flavor for toxic

00:52:42.960 women. Okay. So she was, uh, yeah. So she was, I hate to say it. I hate to say it. It's embarrassing

00:52:50.260 to say. I knew all the stuff. I had all the selection in the world. What did I pick? BPD.

00:52:58.300 I think that we were talking about that last year in Detroit, right? When we were in that lounge,

00:53:02.480 you were talking about almost, I mean, it, it, it sounded like you had one itis for that chick.

00:53:08.960 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, like you weren't ready to let it go.

00:53:13.500 No. At the time, the breakup was very fresh at the time and I was spinning plates at the time.

00:53:18.840 I immediately started dating, but yeah, I still had, um, you know, I, I still had, uh, you know,

00:53:26.440 emotions for this person because, and so, so BPD is interesting. I talk about BPD on my channel

00:53:33.000 a bit. I need to create some lists so that people can find the videos easier and I'll work on that.

00:53:38.360 Um, because BPD is an actual diagnosis. We kind of use it as slang in the red pill. Like any woman

00:53:43.960 that's toxic, she's got BPD, but it's an actual diagnosis. There's nine characteristics. Um, but

00:53:49.880 there's, there's explain what they are. Cause a lot of people just kind of like throw that tag on

00:53:53.300 chicks. Just be like, Oh, it didn't work out. She was BPD, but they don't really know what they're

00:53:56.760 talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you can, you can look up the nine characteristics online, but,

00:54:01.520 but here's the basics of them. Um, abandonment issues, emotional, um, erratic, emotional behavior

00:54:08.440 or mood swings, um, a feeling of dissatisfaction and very low feeling of like self-worth. So victim,

00:54:17.920 they're always like the victim, you know? And so there's, and there's, um, there is a nine of them

00:54:24.580 and I don't have them memorized. They're just not going to all come to me, but the important thing

00:54:27.960 to understand about BPD though, is it's a spectrum. So some girls are BPD, but they don't

00:54:34.860 have what's called narcissistic or psychopathic traits. And then the real extreme cases we've

00:54:41.020 seen from guys in the community where chicks are like calling the cops on the dudes, making

00:54:45.360 fake reports of physically abusive, those things. That's the extreme side. So a girl can be BPD,

00:54:52.640 have these, be emotionally erratic, have a, she has a compromised ability to bear bond as well

00:54:59.180 because of her own personality disorder gets in the way of it, you know, but she will, she's the,

00:55:05.760 the nature of them. They're very self-destructive. So once they get into a relationship there,

00:55:11.500 it's like hypergamy on overdrive. They look to destroy it because they're, they're, they're feeling

00:55:18.500 a value is so low that they don't think they deserve a good, healthy relationship. So they

00:55:25.360 will start their inner anxiety, their anxiety will go up and they'll start to create and fabricate

00:55:31.260 problems, create indignation, but not like a norm. Most women create indignation, but this is on

00:55:38.100 overdrive. It's, it's all about degree. And so she's not, she just needs help. Honestly, if you'd be,

00:55:45.420 if a woman is BPD, but not narcissistic or psychopathic, she can actually probably be

00:55:51.200 helped through mental, um, dialectic behavioral therapy is, is one of them that's been very

00:55:56.160 successful. But if she is on the narcissistic psychopathic side, so narcissistic means that

00:56:02.160 she just can't see outside of herself at all. It's beyond solipsism though. Do you know what I

00:56:06.540 mean? And so everything's that she doesn't have the ability to care about another person. Um, not all BPD

00:56:11.800 women are like that. Some BPD women will genuinely care about somebody, but they can't,

00:56:16.260 they cannot have that relationship in a healthy way because of their anxiety and abandonment issues

00:56:21.700 and their mood swings. Um, the, uh, psychopathic is when they're willing to overtly harm you just to

00:56:29.340 win. So now, you know, this is the person that are dangerous. These are the bunny boilers, the ones

00:56:34.720 that throw logs through your windows when they're not allowed in your house, stuff like that.

00:56:38.060 Yep. Yep. And that's just to win, you know? And so anyway, that was my person and she kept it under

00:56:46.220 wraps for a good year. Um, she was very much in my frame and she was, uh, honestly, it was a great

00:56:52.900 relationship for a year because she kept it under wraps and it was when we didn't live together.

00:56:57.080 So that was the thing. So we didn't live together. So she could be on her best behavior

00:57:01.800 with the, the few times a week I was seeing her. And then as that accelerated, and then when we

00:57:07.320 cohabitated, it all went into the toilet. Now I always kept, so it's an interesting thing to

00:57:15.000 mention. Sex doesn't drop off for me anymore in relationships. It usually accelerates. All right.

00:57:21.580 That's not normal. So, well, you've got a unique way of living right now, which I want you to get

00:57:27.480 to, but can you talk about the healing? Cause I know that you went through a lot of healing,

00:57:30.440 hypnosis and all that sort of stuff. Yeah. Yep. So there was another, there was a post in the

00:57:35.600 community this morning from a mutual brother. I'm not going to mention his name, but you probably

00:57:39.600 saw it, right? He was talking about his red pill healing too. Yeah. I was, I was coaching him

00:57:44.540 through that scenario. So he was one, he was a client during that, that, that scenario. Actually,

00:57:50.200 we had been talking about this girl since the last year when they got together. And so this is

00:57:55.900 interesting. I'm glad you mentioned it. Cause I feel like this is a missing part of red pill stuff,

00:58:00.900 right? Is to do the mental fitness work and the mind work because you have, so the mind works like

00:58:09.580 this, like your mind is designed to help you survive and strives for homeostasis. So I, my model

00:58:17.320 of the unconscious mind isn't like woo woo union psychology. It's just behavioral, which is you did

00:58:23.360 something that worked and allowed you to survive before. So now that's your default of what you're

00:58:29.220 going to do, if that makes any sense. And so when we go through trauma or we go through bad

00:58:34.240 experiences, that stuff actually stores in a different part of our brain. And then when things

00:58:39.640 resemble, you know, that trauma will react to it in a way that works before, but it's not always

00:58:47.520 healthy or alpha or good. So for example, a guy has been cheating on before, you know, and so he might

00:58:54.460 mate protect as a response when she does something that resembles not to lose in that relationship

00:59:00.820 too. Yeah. It's playing out to lose. And so guys have to do mindset and mental work to calm their

00:59:09.660 brainwaves, get into more of a proactive state. So they're not reacting emotionally to things.

00:59:16.840 A man processes things through his brain. It goes hindbrain, that unconscious piece,

00:59:24.500 and then reason, then emotion, right? And women, it's emotion and reason. But if a guy's been through

00:59:32.100 a trauma or a bad experience, a lot of times the emotion, they'll respond like a girl, literally

00:59:38.100 they'll, they'll respond emotionally first and then logically.

00:59:41.100 Well, it's the default response mechanism for most men because we live in a female primary social order.

00:59:46.160 And, you know, boys are raised like girls. Exactly. Right. And so instead of having emotional

00:59:51.720 control, it doesn't mean you don't have emotions. It doesn't mean you don't address your emotions,

00:59:56.440 still get in touch with your feelings, guys. But, you know, it's, it's, it's not, you have

01:00:02.320 emotional control and that's a value, you know, what you bring to the table, your, what your brain's

01:00:06.500 wired that way. So, so work on doing that more effectively and compartmentalizing that stress

01:00:12.420 and they're learning how to relieve that stress and, and the, that emotional baggage in a healthy

01:00:16.680 manner, you know? And so I, I had designs for this woman. I didn't have necessarily one itis

01:00:23.820 because, um, but to me, by definition, one itis would be, I expect her to be forever. And I think

01:00:29.580 that she's special. And I don't think that any woman is special. I think that the connection you

01:00:34.080 develop is, and if they violate your standards and they end up having to go, then they go. Right.

01:00:39.180 I mean, so I knew I broke up with her. I knew she had violated some standards. I was not okay with

01:00:44.820 it. I had a set of conditions for her to do. If she wanted to continue the relationship or be with

01:00:51.300 me, she would not do those set of conditions. One of them was for her to get therapy. She wouldn't do

01:00:55.720 it. Um, and so she never, she never got me back. She pined for me for the next year. Um, and she never

01:01:02.240 got me back and I never went back to her, but there was a lot of pain though, from that and a lot of

01:01:07.340 tendency to want to go back or to want to just, you know, do things to try to mask this pain and

01:01:16.340 this attachment because this attachment is neurochemical. It's actually an addiction.

01:01:20.340 You, you develop oxytocin and dopamine, uh, responses to the person you're with and now

01:01:26.260 they're not there. They got ripped from you. And so now you, those, those chemicals are not

01:01:31.720 supplied anymore. So there's a chemical component. There's this emotional component and you have to

01:01:36.940 handle that by doing mental fitness work. That was EMDR therapy, which is reprocessing traumatic

01:01:43.280 stuff. Um, so I used to have a, a, um, uh, propensity for toxic women, remember? So what

01:01:49.940 that comes from is when I had to, when I was made to feel low value from toxic women, it attacked

01:01:59.080 who, it attacked who I was as a person. And so it's a tendency to want to bring that another

01:02:04.640 toxic woman, woman in your life that has similar traits and then overcome that toxicity. So now

01:02:12.180 your, your, your value and identity is recovered. That makes any sense from that trauma. And so that's

01:02:17.420 what like abandonment is. You're abandoned from a caretaker. So you find somebody who has the same

01:02:22.100 traits of the caretaker so you can win them over. And now it says you're worth something you see.

01:02:28.900 And so you, you have to reprocess that tendency and that traumatic thinking where you store it in

01:02:35.720 a different part of your brain so that when you access the memory, it doesn't have that emotional

01:02:40.280 connotation anymore, you know? And so I can access memories of getting beat up and waking up unconscious

01:02:46.780 on a floor in a garage when I was, when I was a kid. Okay. I can talk about that without any,

01:02:53.900 you know what I mean? It doesn't weigh me down emotionally. What does EMDR stand for again?

01:03:00.080 Yeah. So I movement reprocessing and desensitization. And that's the deal with PTSD.

01:03:06.320 Yes. And I had PTSD effects too, which is partially why I was so hedonistic.

01:03:12.120 Was that from your deployments or was it from women or was it a combination of all that?

01:03:17.300 Deployments mostly? One could say a combination from childhood too, but deployments really triggered it

01:03:22.780 where see violence was a solution to problems for me. That was, that was a thing. And so you come home.

01:03:27.960 You're not a violent guy. Like I've, like I've known you for a while. I've, I've spent hours with

01:03:32.320 you in person. Um, okay. Um, but, but you know, for, but you, it was also years ago too, during that

01:03:40.340 time when I was like practically homeless and lived with a friend, banging all these girls going out or

01:03:46.160 whatever, I wasn't an aggressive or violent person. But if somebody were to be aggressive or

01:03:50.720 violence, violent, I would turn it on to solve that problem. And I ended up getting in a pretty serious

01:03:56.120 bar altercation actually, after one of my tours and, um, was facing felony charges. Um, I don't have

01:04:02.660 any charges. Everything was thrown out because they were the aggressors and they were the people that

01:04:07.240 were not, not in the right, but I put myself in that scenario and it could have gone badly for me.

01:04:13.060 And I don't recommend that. Right. And it was after that, I realized, Holy crap, man,

01:04:17.800 I'm not normal. I have to handle some of the stuff. But it wasn't until that breakup though,

01:04:23.640 which is almost like year and a half now going into two years where I did the EMDR. And, you know,

01:04:29.020 I'm very skeptical about things. I thought it was going to be BS or whatever.

01:04:32.460 How did you come across it? Like, did somebody recommend it?

01:04:35.460 The community actually, the 1% community. So this is why the community is good. Cause people

01:04:40.060 bring the resources to the table. Uh, Bobby from the community, I'm sure he doesn't mind

01:04:44.600 me name dropping off. I'll keep his last name out of it. Um, he was like, dude, you got to do this.

01:04:49.140 I'm like, bro, that sounds, I don't know.

01:04:55.000 Bob's solid guy. You haven't, you have not heard Bob's like full story yet.

01:05:00.100 Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've hung out with him. I actually know. Um, cause he lives, he,

01:05:04.060 when he's not in Thailand, he lives in Michigan. So, um, so, so yeah. Um,

01:05:10.060 and I had gotten, I had gotten certified in hip and hypnotherapy at that point.

01:05:14.620 And I only got certified in, cause it was interesting. And I wanted to be able to game

01:05:18.040 women better. Like I had no, no, no, uh, altruistic motives when I did some of these

01:05:23.180 things. Yeah. I know pretty much everything guys do is to get the girls.

01:05:26.880 Right. Right. When I was in that PUA mindset, that's exactly what it was. Wrong mindset.

01:05:31.380 Good. Oh, anyone who's listening on this and pay attention, don't do that. But, um,

01:05:36.140 um, so it led to a lot of pain and suffering for me too. But, um, but yeah,

01:05:40.320 I had the hypnotherapy. I knew what was BS and what wasn't. Cause there's a lot of

01:05:44.620 things that get billed as hypnotherapy. There's total BS NLP as well. A lot of total BS

01:05:50.700 magic thinking, but then there's a good stuff that actually is behavioral

01:05:54.900 modification and mental fitness and mindset modification. So you can affect the

01:05:59.800 behaviors. And this is what I do with guys in a coaching sense after things like

01:06:03.620 breakups and stuff like that so that they can get rid of the mental baggage and the

01:06:08.800 emotional baggage faster so that they can make better decisions for themselves. And I

01:06:14.000 will say after that breakup, even though it was, that was the most painful breakup I

01:06:17.780 ever went through because I, I did have those high emotions, high feelings for her. And there

01:06:22.900 were a lot of good aspects to her, but she was weighed down by mental illness. I had to

01:06:27.800 say it like that, that is what it is. And it's a sad scenario because she's not going

01:06:32.940 to be happy. She will struggle for the rest of her life. And when you, we care about

01:06:36.940 somebody and you realize that they're going to struggle for the rest of their

01:06:40.680 life because they don't even have the self-awareness enough to get the help they

01:06:44.720 need. That's a big problem. You know, I always say like, you know, how do

01:06:47.520 alcoholics deal with a drinking problem is first recognized they have a drinking

01:06:50.500 problem. But most of these women that have these like strong personality disorders

01:06:56.400 as you're describing them, um, they don't want to work on them. And it's like, okay,

01:06:59.720 well, um, I'm done here then. You know, I think we're, I think we need to move on.

01:07:03.320 It's just a decision that you have to make as a guy. Um, is that like, do you, do you, uh,

01:07:09.320 consciously go through a, like right now with women? Um, do you, do you, do you

01:07:16.240 consciously remove problem women from your life based on the experiences that you've

01:07:20.860 had, or do you still invite them into your life accidentally from time to time?

01:07:24.200 No, now, now there's no, um, attraction to problem women. Now I say it limits because

01:07:33.940 I have my LTR and then I have my, I have, I will have plates that we'll bring in.

01:07:38.980 Right. And so, um, the plates I'm not so worried about because I'm not vetting them

01:07:44.360 for long-term, um, scenarios. They're usually younger, um, than my LTR who's 29. So

01:07:52.760 usually they're going to be, you know, younger than about 25 or younger. Right. And

01:07:58.300 they're, they're not at a point, they're not at a point in their lives where they're

01:08:01.820 looking for a relationship. Um, their hypergamy is telling them to keep their

01:08:06.680 options open because they hadn't hit that epiphany stage yet. And so, you know, I'm

01:08:12.500 not so worried if she is a party girl or this or that, but if she's toxic or outright

01:08:17.100 toxic would cause a problem in my life. Yeah. I've got that out very quickly now because

01:08:21.900 I'm now averse to toxic women. So it's the opposite through hypnotherapy, EMDR and, and

01:08:28.760 that mental training. I don't see, cause here's what happens. Guys find themselves attracted

01:08:34.180 to the same type of toxic women, toxic behaviors, because that's worked for them, even though

01:08:40.480 it was miserable. Right. And so it's again, but that going back to that behavior and that

01:08:44.900 thing that's worked, they're then trying to overcome something. They actually, they're used

01:08:50.060 to overcoming things. Interesting. I talked to a friend about addictions because when

01:08:54.820 you understand addictions, it helps you understand how guys get attached to their

01:08:58.020 one-itis and stuff, right? Gambling addiction is an interesting one because there's no substance

01:09:03.120 involved. And what's interesting about gambling addictions is they're not addicted to the

01:09:07.860 win. The win is almost anticlimactic. They're addicted to trying to overcome the loss. They're

01:09:15.800 addicted to this emotional turmoil they're in when they keep trying to fight this loss.

01:09:20.760 Yeah. That's why people keep going to the lottery booths and get the scratch and win

01:09:25.060 tickets. You see them all the time, right? They're playing not to lose, right? Like they're

01:09:28.140 addicted to playing not to lose is what it is.

01:09:30.640 That is what it is. They're addicted to, I had a counselor once tell me when it came

01:09:35.600 to toxic women, it was very good, actually. Not, not all psychologists or counselors are equal

01:09:40.200 as we know. They're not all Sean Smith, right? So, um, so he, he said, you know, you go,

01:09:45.920 you're, he goes, you're incredibly capable. Um, your IQ is high. You're so capable of everything,

01:09:51.760 but he's like, you, you constantly are digging yourself out of a grave. And then once you get

01:09:57.020 out, you go, wow, I used all this capabilities to get out of the situation. And now you're

01:10:01.380 uncomfortable because you're not going to get another one situation. So you jump in another

01:10:05.040 grave and then you dig yourself out again. And that's exactly what a lot of men do.

01:10:09.100 That's, that's the pattern that I was in. And it was the EMDR stuff that got rid of the

01:10:13.100 traumatic thinking and that, that hold of that traumatic stuff was now gone. And once

01:10:18.540 that was gone, I could re, uh, frame my mind through, uh, self-hypnosis, hypnotherapy

01:10:24.360 and, um, and medit, you know, medit, self-hypnosis, hypnotherapy is like meditation, but it's guided.

01:10:30.840 That's the best in visualization. It's the best way to describe it. And you put in, put

01:10:34.740 myself in a different frame of mind. And, and I just don't, especially with wouldn't have worked

01:10:41.460 with hypnosis alone, but the EMDR got rid of that connotation, that, that desire for these toxic

01:10:48.860 women. And, and so when a, when a girl like has those BPD traits and stuff, I'm like, I kind of

01:10:56.360 laugh at it and there's no, but I'm like, get away from me. You know what I mean? I don't even

01:11:00.560 want you as a plate. I don't want you in my life. I don't want you in my house. I don't want you to

01:11:04.440 have a cocktail with my LTR. I don't care what she looks like. You know what I mean? And so

01:11:08.940 amazing how that happens when you're a man spoiled with spoiled for choice though. Right.

01:11:13.040 Exactly. That's exactly a hundred percent. Right. We've got about 19 minutes left before we got to

01:11:18.760 wrap up. So let's talk about how you live today, unless there's anything you want to cover between

01:11:24.860 where we've kind of left off and where you're at today, because as I did open the broadcast,

01:11:28.960 you are known as the real life, Chad thunder cocky, we'll do in the community. We've got,

01:11:34.040 uh, our brother Myron there in the chat. Thanks for the super chat, brother. Uh, I did a broadcast

01:11:39.360 with this guy last Thursday, so it's the last broadcast, by the way. I enjoyed that one.

01:11:44.880 When, when you, me and Myron are chopping it up on a private zoom broadcast with a community,

01:11:50.200 some shit go like we have some deep conversation. You guys missed out on the good stuff. Just

01:11:54.980 watching the public. But anyway, um, so they got to get, they got to be members jump in

01:11:58.880 on this. So, um, I'm going to sit down and make some adjustments here and grab your, um, YouTube

01:12:03.800 channel and kind of plug it in just a moment, but tell, tell everybody why you're known as

01:12:09.260 Chad thunder cockadoodle do today. And I'm just going to go full screen for you and you can tell

01:12:14.340 them what you're up to and why you've been recognized that way. Well, yeah. So, so, um,

01:12:20.200 a number of different reasons I'll go, I'll jump into the playing going, shifting, playing

01:12:25.120 not to briefly shifting, playing not to win or playing not to lose to playing to win. Um,

01:12:31.800 I did made that decision with the military and tried to be the best I could in there, um,

01:12:36.420 and take those risks. But then in the military, I had some scenarios where they were life and

01:12:41.840 death and you might not come out of it alive. And I had friends that didn't come out of deployments

01:12:47.220 live. And after those experiences, I realized that life is way too short to play it safe.

01:12:54.060 It's not worth it to play it safe. And so I started thinking a lot bigger, how can I win

01:13:00.960 in business? How can I win in my lifestyle? How can I win with, with women, you know, and how can I

01:13:06.880 have what I want with no, no paradigm or box, uh, of what everyone else thinks. Everyone else's crappy

01:13:14.840 standards are not my standards. You know what I mean? And so right now I'm in a long-term

01:13:21.480 relationship and, uh, I will use the dreaded L word for this person, this relationship. I definitely

01:13:29.320 love this, this person. She's awesome. I don't have one itis for her. If it ends, it ends, but, um,

01:13:35.540 she's, she's an awesome person and women are designed actually evolutionarily speaking for a

01:13:45.480 polygyny style relationship. And that's what we have. So I don't have multiple wives because I don't,

01:13:52.600 I don't personally want that headache. Um, the biggest constraint in that style of a relationship

01:13:59.260 relationship is, um, is that women don't want to be seen as sluts. There has to be a social

01:14:05.980 acceptance aspect to this. Um, so women don't want to not be socially accepted. And so everything has

01:14:13.520 to be done discreet. I'm actually violating that a little bit, talking here about it. So, which I

01:14:18.700 don't mind. So I'm going to talk about it in the way that I'm talking about it, but, um, part of me has,

01:14:23.020 you know, NFG, you know what I'm saying? So I kind of don't care that much and it'll be fine,

01:14:27.240 but I know that her family, a lot of people are that, that in the circles that would judge her

01:14:31.840 for it are not in the circles that are going to watch this. So it doesn't bother me. Um,

01:14:35.860 but as far as my channel, a lot of things are concerned. These are going to have to be behind

01:14:39.400 the paywall, whether it's your community and we talk about it or whether it's some of the things

01:14:43.680 I'll have going in the future, because, um, for this style of relationship where you bring other

01:14:48.540 women into the fold, um, and you're in a long-term relationship that's healthy, happy. And then you

01:14:53.060 bring other women into it, that this is not socially acceptable. And for it to work,

01:14:58.280 women have to all feel that they're going to be socially accepted regardless. So there's a huge

01:15:02.340 amount of discretion. Um, most of the women involved that would be candidates for coming in

01:15:07.520 are young, hot, don't want a relationship. Um, because they're just not that. So while they seek

01:15:14.480 and figure themselves out, instead of raising their notch count with a bunch of random dudes and swipes on

01:15:20.740 Tinder, they're coming to see the alpha and the other part of it, which is me. Right now,

01:15:26.840 the other part of that is, um, so in the Sultan model, you know, you, women are treated like

01:15:33.960 property because a man's existential threat is to be cucked, meaning he takes care of another man's

01:15:38.680 offspring and his offspring doesn't thrive into the next generation. So women were, were not allowed

01:15:44.020 to sleep with other men. And when, when, when agricultural revolution happened, um, monogamy and

01:15:49.680 polygyny became the thing. Okay. Um, not straight tribal nomadic polyamory. All right. And that's a

01:15:56.680 whole nother discussion, but so they're evolved. Have you read alpha God, by the way? Yep. Yeah. Great

01:16:02.760 book. And so, and so they're evolved is great book. So they're evolved to not monogamy is, is an okay

01:16:10.380 structure. I accept monogamy as a structure, but the pro there are problems that monogamy presents

01:16:16.820 that polygyny solves. Okay. Um, not saying it's either one's perfect. Cause not everyone can do

01:16:22.640 what I'm doing. Um, everyone could, if they wanted to, but it's not for everybody, we'll put it like

01:16:27.900 that. Okay. Um, but most women, the reason why most women have bisexual tendencies and statistically

01:16:35.340 we'll experiment with other women where guys don't guys are usually gay, not gay. Um, bisexual men

01:16:41.120 is a very, very, very small percentage, you know, but women, all heterosexual women, almost all of them

01:16:48.400 have had fantasies or have experimented. And the reason is, is because of our polygynous past. So

01:16:54.980 when that guy, that Sultan was out, you know, uh, hunting or on a trip to go visit the next Sultan or

01:17:00.540 whatever, the women were left alone. They couldn't get their sexual needs met, um, outside of with other

01:17:06.100 men without risking death, but they could within themselves. And then of course, when he's back,

01:17:11.180 they could serve that man. And it was a turn on for them and sexually aroused for the ones who were

01:17:16.740 sexually aroused by that lifestyle. They survived, they procreated. Right. And so now here we are

01:17:22.160 with women who all have those tendencies. And so when I present this to a woman, guess how much time,

01:17:27.660 guess how often I get resistance to it. I'm going to say your close rates going to be at least

01:17:33.020 two thirds. But I mean, if you're saying it's almost zero, it's like ridiculously high, right?

01:17:37.760 It's ridiculously high.

01:17:39.120 You've also got the support of your LTR in it as well. So it also eases the burden of entry to

01:17:44.420 enter chat under cock-a-doodle-doo-doo's frame that, you know, 42 tatted up, cigar lounge, you know,

01:17:51.020 military killed off a lot of bad guys sort of dude. Now, um, a lot of things I just want to touch on

01:17:59.180 is a lot of guys will manufacture reasons why they can't do well with women, right? Like one of the

01:18:04.280 arguments, a lot of guys will be like, well, I'm just not tall enough. How tall are you, Paul?

01:18:09.140 I am five foot two. No, I'm just kidding. I'm not five, 10. I'm like five, nine and some change.

01:18:17.360 You know, I'm short because I have to say five, nine and some change. Tall guys don't ever have

01:18:21.440 to say that, right? Now here's the funny part though.

01:18:23.660 And, and there's no Lambos and there's no, you know, mansions and pool parties and, you

01:18:28.960 know, none of those. I got a lake house now. It's pretty nice, but no, I'm not this. It's

01:18:34.060 not that at all. All I'm providing for them is the alpha experience to be with an alpha

01:18:39.700 dominant man. Women with more money than me used to try, we used to want to be with me

01:18:44.760 just for the experience because having, and this is your internal game, your internal frame.

01:18:50.320 And when I teach game, when I teach game to guys, I focus on their inner game, as I call

01:18:55.560 it, because when your inner game is solid, you can say anything you want. And if you

01:19:00.500 catch some of my recent videos, I'll have girls that come in here. I told them not to

01:19:04.120 come in here today, but I have girls that come in here.

01:19:06.480 I've heard the door open and close a couple of times. What the hell's going on? These

01:19:09.040 women are not listening to you, brother.

01:19:11.020 That was, that was one of the other, that was one of the other members. He didn't realize

01:19:14.420 so that I was doing this, but, but I have something in the scar lounge, but, but yeah, I,

01:19:19.980 but usually the women are kind of like to interrupt me and kind of, you know, what, which I let

01:19:23.960 them do it and I interact with them with the, with that natural game, but it's not anything

01:19:28.040 that you can see. I'm not, I'm not saying anything special. I literally say what I want

01:19:32.380 though. Anything I want, you know what I mean? And they, and they're, they're totally, they're,

01:19:37.940 they're fine with that. And it's because of how I present and how I lead and it's tonality

01:19:43.320 and a lot of things that you could fake it. But if you have a strong internal frame and

01:19:48.640 you do that mental work we talked about, then you don't have to fake it. You're already proactive

01:19:54.260 and deliberate. When you talk to somebody, you already have that alpha frame.

01:19:58.880 Let me just, let me just drop your YouTube channel. You can see it up on the screen.

01:20:03.980 Yep. So I posted it in the live chat. I've also put it in the comments below. So if you're watching

01:20:09.320 the replay, the live chat may not link any links that I put in there. It doesn't always

01:20:14.080 work for some reason. So here's his channel, Apex Mindset, Lifestyle and Relationship Coaching.

01:20:19.080 You're putting out almost daily videos now. Your format's anywhere from like, you know,

01:20:24.940 five, five to 10 minutes up towards about 23 when you get into the longer stuff, but

01:20:28.980 really good channel. I highly recommend you guys follow Paul's stuff. He's, he's got some

01:20:35.040 insight too. He'll, he'll really geek out on this extra marketplace in a way that I won't.

01:20:40.100 Like I like to distill stuff down into smaller, tighter sound bites. And I also like to deal

01:20:45.080 with people's requests when they have, they're like, these are all my problems. How do I fix

01:20:48.300 it? Sort of thing. And I also prefer to allocate a lot of my time to community broadcasts and kind

01:20:53.640 of talk more in depth where we don't have to water stuff down and use code words like garden

01:20:58.140 tools and cockadoodledoo and all that.

01:20:59.800 Yeah. Well, I love the study of this stuff too. And I actually was in grad school at one point

01:21:05.460 for psych. I left it for combat deployments. I chose not to go back because I don't know anything

01:21:09.680 about sexual marketplace, but this is where I really could, I would love to geek out. Hopefully

01:21:13.960 at some point we'll have an opportunity. I'd love to geek out with Rolo Tomasio at one point, because

01:21:18.060 how I dive into these topics in a similar fashion, I read the studies. I'm, I'm, I'm an avid reader,

01:21:24.660 not just a pickup guy. And, and that's allowed me to help understand the nature of some of these

01:21:31.140 things. But the other reason too, it wasn't just because of my, my lifestyle, which my lifestyle

01:21:35.700 is awesome. I have the, the healthiest relationship I've ever had. And that most guys would kill for

01:21:41.320 with my LTR and every day is an adventure. The women hear about it and they're like, Oh my God,

01:21:48.760 I want that. It's a fantasy for them.

01:21:50.980 And then of course all that too, by the way, like what's that from? Like, I know you've done a lot

01:21:55.000 of work on yourself, but is it just approaching life with a red pill lens? Was it the eye movement

01:22:01.160 DR like EMDR thing? Like what was it all?

01:22:03.620 Getting rid of all of the, the whole package, understanding women and their nature and forgiving

01:22:09.720 them for it is a big thing. Not that's a big thing. Cause guys get real negative. Oh, she's just

01:22:15.620 the blah, blah. Cause she's. Yeah. That usually kind of slides into like the MGTOW and then slowly

01:22:21.080 into the black pill. Like what would you say to the guys on the fence? Because there's a lot of

01:22:25.860 guys that watch my content that are kind of on the fence. They're like, I really don't like what I

01:22:30.140 see in women, but at the same time I want to be with them. And then they kind of lean and there's

01:22:35.080 more that kind of lean further into like the black pill nonsense too, as well. Like what would you say

01:22:38.240 to those guys? So you don't like what you see in women? That is about you, not them. I know that

01:22:47.320 no matter what a woman's like, it isn't going to affect me. I'll have her replaced or I'll be by

01:22:55.180 myself or whatever. I'm not going to lose with women because my frame is a such where I'm so outcome

01:23:03.480 independent now. I don't care what a woman thinks about me. You also don't expose yourself to

01:23:08.640 unnecessary risk. Like I don't roll. Right. I'm not attracted to unnecessary risk now. And I don't

01:23:14.700 invite drama in my life anymore. Cause I'm not attracted to that. And so I naturally wouldn't

01:23:20.100 accept somebody with the red flags that you have to list for these guys who haven't gotten to that

01:23:24.240 mental framework yet. And so I don't invite drama and toxicity in my life. It's, that's, it's out.

01:23:31.280 So why would a woman is not a risk to me? A woman is a risk to these guys because they still have

01:23:38.020 hangups. They have emotional hangups. They're, they're not, they don't understand themselves how

01:23:43.980 to, how to, how to handle women with outcome independence. And so when outcome independence,

01:23:49.700 my definition of that doesn't mean that you don't care about an outcome. It means that you know that

01:23:55.440 the outcome is going to be good regardless of someone else's behavior or things you can't control.

01:24:00.920 So I have this wonderful LTR, right? But what if she freaks out and whatever I find out

01:24:06.780 what something blows up in six months, we're over with. Okay. I'm going to be fine. All right.

01:24:13.700 Well, there'd be some pain. Sure. I'll be over the pain very quickly. Cause I know how to do that.

01:24:18.940 And I've shielded myself from all the risk. It's a simple walk out the door. I'm not in some crazy

01:24:24.760 marriage with combined accounts and bunch of kids that with no, with no plan on how to break it off.

01:24:31.220 And I'm, I'm living, I'm living a better life, whether she's with me or not. And that's,

01:24:36.980 that's why I can enjoy women. Cause they're not a risk to me. If women were a risk to me,

01:24:41.800 I would be worried about it. And I would have, I would have all that connotations, but all the

01:24:47.160 women that hurt me in the past, you know, in female nature and how it blew up in my face when I was

01:24:53.500 beta and blue pilled. I'd be angry about that stuff still, because they would still be a risk.

01:24:58.160 Hmm. It's zero risk for me. A couple, uh, so sorry. I got a couple of super chats. Sorry to

01:25:04.060 interrupt. I just want to hit these. And I have one, one final question for you before we wrap up.

01:25:08.260 Uh, another one from Myron again, it says, Paul's a real deal. I watch his channel. He puts out real

01:25:12.440 talk content when it comes to female nature. Uh, he's been in most men's shoes and knows what it's

01:25:16.680 like to cross the abyss from blue pill to red pill. And, uh, but I'll be great. Also says real games.

01:25:23.220 So links are there. Um, the, um, okay. So you're 42 right now, right? So I've often said to guys,

01:25:34.340 like women will overlook the hot stud in his twenties with a plan. He may not have financial

01:25:40.140 resources. He may not have great wealth at this time, but as you get older, women have less and

01:25:44.800 less tolerance for it, you know, into your forties, especially your fifties more specifically, but

01:25:48.300 definitely by the time you get to your forties, um, you've got some good game. You understand

01:25:52.960 women. Now you're working on your purpose and putting a little dent in the universe right now.

01:25:58.580 Um, right. Yeah. Like what's the most important part of your life right now at your age at this

01:26:05.700 stage of your life, setting aside the, the, um, woman component of it, but what's the most important

01:26:11.120 part for you to lean out in the future, like five, 10 years and, you know, call yourself successful.

01:26:17.220 Yeah. So most important part is, is, is what you see in the words below my, uh, my screen there,

01:26:24.060 apex mindset. So I created that to work on mental fitness and relationship stuff for men. And I want

01:26:32.940 to see more men living the life that they envisioned for themselves, not making compromises and not getting

01:26:40.780 strung up, hurt, not killing themselves. What actually brought me to this, I didn't get much into

01:26:45.940 that was brought me into coaching was an accident. I was, I was mentoring soldiers who were all in

01:26:51.780 these terrible relationships while I was still learning stuff. That's what got me even into the

01:26:56.620 ego ego psych even more because I'm like, I have to figure this out so I can figure out these guys

01:27:02.320 and their problems, you know, um, as an answer. You actually came back a slightly changed guy from

01:27:06.880 your last deployment to Afghanistan. Like I remember, I don't know, when was it the fall,

01:27:10.820 like last fall winter? Yeah. Yeah. Like you, like you came back a more seasoned gentleman than what

01:27:18.760 you were before you left. And it seems, and you actually hopped on some live broadcasts from time

01:27:23.480 to time whenever you didn't get a mortar attack or some bullshit kind of in the middle of what you

01:27:27.460 were doing. But, um, yeah, like I can see what you've done there and where you are today. And Paul,

01:27:33.460 Paul does coach one-on-one so you can find his links on his YouTube channel, subscribe to it. Uh,

01:27:38.460 you can book coaching with him. Uh, he's got a great channel follow as well. And if you want to

01:27:43.320 get involved in my men's community, um, I know you kind of plugged a little bit bottom there was the

01:27:48.940 link here and it's right there. So if you go to entrepreneurs and cars.com community, it's also

01:27:53.760 pinned in the top comment. Um, there's two tiers that you're in actually. So I've got the basic

01:27:57.720 tier, which is basically the 1%, which is really just, there's a lot of field reports. We're talking

01:28:01.480 about games, self-care. I mean, we've done learning events on things like, uh, TRT. Um, you actually

01:28:07.080 held one recently that was on home security, which was great. The recordings there on the tab. Um,

01:28:12.340 and you're also on the business tier as well. And I've done a lot of work with you on your channel

01:28:16.300 and, you know, just broadcasting and stuff like that too. So if any of that's of interest to you

01:28:20.260 guys, it's right there too. Awesome. Thanks. I'm going to mention one thing as we were sort of

01:28:24.980 wrapping up to one thing that happened in the community, which is really interesting. So the other

01:28:29.520 reason why they, they think they have this idea of me being this Chad Thuddercock is not just because

01:28:35.480 of slaying women and bringing them into my life. But in your community, I would help guys out and

01:28:42.440 respond to their problems, you know, which is what we do in the community. Right. And so I was getting

01:28:47.000 guys good results, just doing that stuff. Right. And then, um, one guy in the community who really

01:28:53.740 had, um, a really hard time. And you might know what I'm talking about. I talked to him too. Yeah.

01:28:58.780 A totally different guy. Now he was glued to my work and he was, yeah, he organized it and I have a

01:29:09.840 book. It's probably going to be out August, September, and it'll be a book that is all these

01:29:14.880 vignettes and answers to questions. And so all these answers to questions and problems that if guys can

01:29:22.660 latch on to this way of thinking, and it's even, I would say it's more than just even the red,

01:29:30.780 it's more than just being red pill, though the red pill means truth essentially. So I mean,

01:29:35.100 that's what it would be, but it's lifestyle, it's lifestyle, taking it to another level.

01:29:39.760 It's not just about girls. That's, that's what everybody gets stuck on. It's like, oh,

01:29:42.920 you guys worship women or you pedestalize, you know, women. It's like, no dudes, you don't understand

01:29:48.580 it then. Like you're just looking at it from the, like the tip of the iceberg, everything beneath

01:29:53.800 the waterline is what we're all about, which leads to the great results. You think that we worship,

01:29:58.520 we don't worship anything. We worship ourselves as what we worship. Yeah. Well, when the more men can

01:30:05.220 take their self and who they are back, so to speak from the, the matrix and from blue pill society,

01:30:13.760 the better we're off going to, we're going to be. And we sure as hell need, you know, more men who

01:30:19.560 act like men and who lead, not just in their relationships, but in their lives and then the

01:30:24.300 impact they make in society. And so it's this really important work. What you're doing is very

01:30:28.760 important. And what I want to do and continue and what I am doing with coaching, but what I want to

01:30:34.180 continue to be able to do is important. More guys that understand this stuff. Cause it's not just about

01:30:39.540 men either. Like here's the other part of it. The women in my life are very happy, very happy. And

01:30:46.320 whether they're a plate in just whatever, or whether they're my LTR or whether they're platonic

01:30:51.760 or whether it's my, one of my ex, you know, my, my ex that I interact with. I mean, at least,

01:30:57.120 I mean, they, they as happy as like, but they're happy with the interaction. It's I'm improving and

01:31:02.460 bettering their lives. Do you ever get messages or comments or DMS from women that call you

01:31:07.440 misogynist yet? Or that you're bitter? I haven't happened yet. Not much. I've gotten,

01:31:14.040 I've gotten occasional occasional, but it's, that's another thing that's interesting is I think it's

01:31:19.580 just how I present the information to women. Maybe a little bit. I get a fair amount of women that

01:31:24.720 coach me, which is pretty rare. Do you know what your demographic is on your channel? Like,

01:31:28.840 have you looked at it to see who? So yeah, my channel is like over 90, over 90% men. Yeah.

01:31:35.620 Mine's like 95% men. I think the 5% is like women that want to be a fly on the wall to see what guys

01:31:39.900 are talking about and stuff. Right. The women that are paying to coach with me or even send guys to

01:31:46.620 me as clients though is like 20% a little over that. Yeah. And that's valuable work too. I'm

01:31:53.120 obviously not going to name drop her, but I'm doing a coaching with one woman who is a 19 year old

01:31:58.440 who was in a relationship with a guy in Egypt and she was in London and what a mess that could be

01:32:07.260 like move into a Muslim country and all this kind of stuff that she had was on the docket for her to

01:32:14.080 do. And I'm coaching her out of that. I might just be saving. She might just not be, she might be a,

01:32:19.360 save her life with that one. You know what I'm saying? But how I approach them are different though.

01:32:25.100 You cannot approach a woman like you approach a man. They have to have an emotional buy-in

01:32:29.380 before they can listen to the reason part. They'll get the reason part, but they have to

01:32:34.320 emotionally buy in first. Whereas we just talk about it logically and then we, and we bust each

01:32:39.240 other's balls and then we learn from it. Right. Yeah. The reason why I brought that up is like,

01:32:43.380 you know, you do get the charges of misogyny or bitterness, but the reality is,

01:32:50.100 of it is the guys like us that have fully like are fully red pilled that have a, that have great

01:32:57.440 experiences and relationship or relationships with women. Uh, the women are actually very happy

01:33:04.560 and they admire you. Uh, they, they do not despise you. They look up to you. They're in your frame.

01:33:10.960 They compliment your life. They practically worship you, but they're, but they're so happy to serve you

01:33:15.800 in that sense. So when you, when you get to that point, it's actually a really, really good thing.

01:33:21.340 It's just a matter of, you know, are you going to do all the work that gets you to that point?

01:33:25.000 And are you going to reap benefits, not just of better experiences with women, which is one part

01:33:29.360 of it, but better experiences in life in general, with the men that you surround yourself with,

01:33:33.960 with the kind of businesses that you run, the rooms that you put yourself in. I can go on and on,

01:33:38.300 but that's, but that's a big, big, big part of it. Um, we're well past the 90 minute mark.

01:33:43.540 I'm going to wind this down. I have to shout out real quick to, uh, my channel sponsor.

01:33:47.420 So let me just go full screen here. Uh, tactical soap, Grondike soap company. If you go to either

01:33:51.860 coopersoap.com or there's a pin link in the top description, uh, the Cooper soap already has the

01:33:58.080 coupon code applied. If you go to the top description, just go and I got to side my finger

01:34:02.220 over this way. Cause it's reverse, uh, entering Cooper, you'll get 10% off all the stuff up here

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01:34:12.740 They've got like part two sort of thing. They're all great. They all smell amazing.

01:34:16.020 They're all natural. They don't have endocrine disruptors in them. Uh, and they have pheromones,

01:34:20.180 which will of course enhance, uh, you know, your experience with women. But, uh, yeah,

01:34:24.100 if you've enjoyed it, you guys are showering anyway, you know, grab some tactical soap.

01:34:26.820 It helps out the channel. Um, Paul, let me go back to both screens here. Thanks for joining me today.

01:34:32.340 Um, you guys know where to find it. Yeah, man, it's good chat. Um, we'll, we'll definitely be doing more

01:34:38.260 stuff in the future. Uh, I always look forward to our private chats on the zoom with the other boys,

01:34:43.140 well, the boys, sorry. Um, it's just awesome. Awesome time being able to, um, you know,

01:34:48.020 be around guys like you that are really doubling down on their own lives and just get just growing.

01:34:52.980 Just growing is what it is, right. Just becoming better year after year.

01:34:56.980 Oh yeah, absolutely. All right, guys. Uh, see you in the next broadcast. Leave a comment below and,

01:35:02.500 uh, give the like button a massive smash, destroy it, break it, all that good stuff.

01:35:06.740 See you guys later. Peace out.

Playing to Win - March 02, 2022

023 - How To Become a Chad With Women

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