025 - Cameron Herold - The CEO Whisperer
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 18 minutes
Words per Minute
211.90146
Summary
In Episode 25 of the Playing to Win Series, I'm joined by my good friend and long-time business coach, Camaron Harold. Camaron and I have been friends for a long time and have chatted on and off for the last 10 years, but we haven't chopped it up in a while and we had not chatted in a long while.
Transcript
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all right guys welcome back what's up my brothers we're on episode number 25 of the
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playing to win series and i'm joined today by my uh good friend old-time uh business coach
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cameron harold how you doing brother good richard good to see you buddy yeah um we have not chopped
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it up in a long time and we were just chatting for about 10 minutes before live um you know
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saying to him last time i talked to him at you know for any length was when we were down in napa
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valley at this uh um event a mutual friend of ours put on but um cameron was real pivotal for me
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around 2008 and 9 around my business when i hired him as a business coach um i'll talk a little bit
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about that um but i would i would describe you in a certain way and i know that you've kind of pivoted
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your business model to um less coaching ceos and more the coo like alliance where you're trying to
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get ceos to really um think outside the box to free up the ceo um how would you how would you
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describe yourself today to people that don't know you because you got to keep in mind like most people
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that watch my stuff on a regular basis you know they're here to learn about the sexual marketplace
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and women they of course want to chase excellence and chase less of women so i think that you'd be
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awesome to really talk about the business component of that because like you've dealt with a lot of
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really really smart guys out there like you've talked on just about every continent um that i'm aware
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with the exception of antarctica right pretty much yeah pretty much every major city i know you've
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authored your own books you've co-authored uh some other books i know you co-authored one with adrian
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which i did a plane to win series on i think in the last 10 episodes you guys can go back and find
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that one um how would you introduce yourself to somebody that didn't know who you are well first off
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how do you know adrian he's another great former client that we've been friends with how do you know
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adrian because when you were coaching me in 2009 uh you said to me i'm going to connect you with
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adrian because uh he managed to get free pr on what was that tv show uh csi with dna 11 so we chatted
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for a couple hours and we just became friends i mean he's a car guy so anytime there's a car guy around
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it's like all of a sudden click right um yeah but we've chatted on and off you know for the last 10
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years or so yeah great guy all right so how would i describe myself i am still still a speaker um
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although it's not my core of what i do anymore i've done paid speaking events now in 26 countries
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on six continents in about 700 cities um i am a ceo and a ceo coach so i coach but real companies
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typically 50 to 500 employees the largest company i've ever coached was sprint i coached the ceo and
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the ceo of sprint for 18 months um and then i've also coached a monarchy in the middle east i come
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the family that owned the country of qatar so they're an absolute monarchy they own the country
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um so i did some work there but typically my zone is in the 50 to 500 employee range three of my clients
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have sold for over 100 million um one just raised 255 million dollars from warbird pinkus i've been
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coaching them for seven years so that's kind of my coaching world i've written five books now so i've
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written double double meeting suck vivid vision i co-authored the miracle morning for entrepreneurs
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with hal elrod and then i also co-authored the book free pr with adrian solominovich his name is a
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tough one so i just say it real fast because i never pronounce it i've known adrian and his former
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partner jazz for so long i was like something like that um he's a great pr guy especially on the
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digital side and then um about four years ago i started up an organization called the coo alliance
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really because i i used to be a coo i was the coo for 1-800-got-junk took them from 14 employees to
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3100 employees in six years and i kept going to these conferences when i was the second in command
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and i didn't really fit in you know i'd be talking to these entrepreneurs that they'd be like we got to
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get all the right people on the bus i'm like yeah let's talk about interviewing and they'd already
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moved on to marketing i'm like all you said was get the right people into the company you didn't
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fucking talk about how and it's like coos want to talk about interviewing for two days entrepreneurs
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want to talk about it until the next drink and i wanted a space for them to be able to really get
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into the business and operations and work on the business and work on themselves without the
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distraction of all the entrepreneurs around so we started up that organization for them every year
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we actually run an event with the ceo and the coo both we bring in a marriage counselor and
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communication specialists and conflict management people and personality profile experts to have
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them work on building that better relationship but that would be my zone that i'm in and then i
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have a podcast as well called the second in command podcast where we only interview the coo so
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everybody's interviewed the entrepreneur i get the rest of the story so we've had the coo bumble and
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the cleveland indians and shopify we've interviewed some really really great seconding commands that's
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awesome and like the thing that really got my attention when i met you um i think it was either
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at the profit 50 or the profit 100 conference yeah ian portsmouth from profit magazine i don't know
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if it's still around um but they used to do these awards every year and you'd go and apply to uh
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participate as part of the conference that they bring in these top shelf speakers and cameron was one of
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them um but i mean the thing that caught my attention is how you guys grew when 800 got chunk
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and i think you said it was from like 6 million to 106 million over the six years yeah 2 million to
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106 million yeah so that's so that's hyper growth and that's pretty much what every company that was
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on that profit 50 to profit 100 list was um was a hyper growth company um i can't even remember what
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mine was i think it was like around the 500 mark but there was companies that were growing at like
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over 2 000 3 000 percent like year over year um a lot of them seem to be in like the head hunting kind
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of recruiting space and um yeah it was just it was just wild to like be able to have an opportunity to
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be in that um area because most people don't get entrepreneurs like like entrepreneurs hardly get
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entrepreneurs let alone the ones that are successful they have a hard time because everybody looks at
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them like you're batshit crazy i remember this one time i think it was at jay's first um mastermind talks
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i think you kind of open with all right guys put your hands up if you have like um manic issues if
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you think about sex a lot it's like you know like you had this full list of like 20 different items
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and by the end of it everybody was still basically with their hand up and like yeah that's me right
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and it's like you know birds of a feather kind of flock together when it comes to these highly
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motivated highly like i call them weapons like entrepreneurs that can really put a dent in the
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universe um you know they can really get stuff done when it comes to business but we're all
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we're all quite similar and we all kind of default to the same beliefs and thinking process when it
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comes to the approach with business and you and i were talking about like the roller coaster ride that
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a lot of entrepreneurs go through can you kind of talk to that about people about what that experience
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is like yeah and i'm being cognizant because i really i really like you respect you and you're saying
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some stuff that i wanted to touch on even in addition to that a few things one is you've kind
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of mentioned around it a couple times about us you know being at these events you know we met at the
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that entrepreneur conference the fast 50 from profit magazine which is the canadian version of
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of ink magazine and that was a contest that you put your name into that you ended up winning and
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then you spent the time and money to go to these dinners and these conferences and learn and to
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upgrade your skills most entrepreneurs don't do that you know the 99 98 percent of entrepreneurs
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have never been to any kind of a mastermind group at all and you mentioned that we went to one that
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jason gainard um organized i mean you flew to napa to go to that thing like you flew across north america
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you spent money on it i think it was probably 10 grand to to attend it and every time and then you're
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part of the entrepreneurs organization so we were all both of us were a part of those three groups
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and that upgrades our skills it it goes back to that saying of you're the average of the five
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people you spend the most time with well if you're not spending time with the right people you get
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sucked down the wrong rabbit holes and i think you're actually creating a tribe for men who actually
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want to better themselves better their relationships better their their businesses and if the more time
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they spend not only listening to your podcast but attending events hopefully that you'll put on
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connecting with other members in any communities that you pull together because i know you've got a
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couple of online communities for them that really you get a 10x return on that you know i've been a
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member of the genius network of war room i've gone to the main ted conference nine years in a row
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um like all of those things upgrade my network and then i don't spend time with the negative grumpy
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overweight you know people who are complaining or waiting for government to hand them anything
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because i'm choosing to be a part of another group but i think that's really important
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yeah i really bang on that drum as loud and hard as i can but but there's always you know like a good
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chunk of the guys out there that are just haters that want to marinate and sit around and sulk and
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have their pity party and it's like man if you're sitting around with five fat guys that are just
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you know shoving garbage in their face consuming useless media content doing nothing with their lives
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you're going to be the six there's no two ways about it i mean you're never going to level up
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well and i'll tell you for any of the groups that you and this is maybe i'm sliding into a
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coaching moment and giving advice that i shouldn't but i'm going to anyway you know me no i'd love to
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hear it you have if you have any of those guys even if they're like red pilled to the end
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but they're just the negative grumpy jerks kick them out of the group anyway like it doesn't matter
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if they like your ideas they also have to like who you stand for right they have to be the kind of
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people not they don't have to look the same or act the same but they've got to they've got to
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be driving forward and letting some of the negative shit go as well like we got to work
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on the positive stuff and not dwell on all the you know anyway um definitely um you mentioned
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that you were a part of the war room are you talking about andrew tate's war room or is that
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a different one no it's uh roland fraser perry um uh perry belcher and ryan dice the guys that own
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traffic and conversion yeah another group called war room it's very high level mastermind 25 000 a year
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it's only related to marketing digital marketing um all the funnels really really solid solid program
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gotcha and i think i saw you on uh mike's list for greenland this year and next year did you sign up
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for that too i was going as one of his um like a mentor an entrepreneur in residence for that i was
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supposed to be there in june and bummed that was another i i got bumped out of about five major events
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i was supposed to be at this year yeah i was gonna say you must i was main i was a main stage speaker
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at traffic and conversion five thousand people and they canceled the conference because of
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this kind of thing's really thrown a wrench into it all oh it's fine second thing you mentioned was
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was you know ceos are kind of crazy and and you kind of even skimmed a little bit over that what's
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interesting is bipolar disorder and you mentioned kind of some of those traits i talked about
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entrepreneurs i read a list of 11 traits that describe entrepreneurs and every entrepreneur for the
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most part nine out of ten goes yep that's me yep that's me yep that's me it's a nine ten or eleven
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of the eleven traits what are those traits because i know i i botched that list for you yeah i can i can
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read them out loud see if you want me to read them out loud go ahead yeah um so but what these traits
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actually are is traits that describe every entrepreneur and when i read out the list and everyone identifies
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with it then i give them the rest of the story so here's the 11 traits and anybody listening can count
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on their fingers and um and see if you get at least over five are you often filled with energy
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does your mind get flooded with ideas are you driven are you restless are you unable to keep still
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are you often working on little sleep do you get euphoric are you easily irritated by minor obstacles
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do you burn out periodically do you act out sexually which is like flirting or massage callers or anything
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like that do you feel persecuted by those who do not accept your vision
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so that's 11 traits how many do you have oh i got them all yeah i'm i'm 11 for 11 by the way on the
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traits for attention deficit disorder i have 17 of the 18 signs for adb as well um where we are though on
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those traits is those are not just traits of entrepreneurs those are actually the clinical
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diagnosed traits for bipolar disorder yeah so most entrepreneurs are on the spectrum for bipolar if you
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said yes to 9 10 or 11 of the traits you'd actually be diagnosed and medicated for bipolar bipolar disorder
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has been nicknamed by the medical community as the ceo disease so most entrepreneurs have those traits in
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fact the way that i met the ceo of sprint we were sitting on a plane and i diagnosed him as having
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um adb bipolar and being on the spectrum for tourettes because he had a nervous tick he's like
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how do you know this about me and i said i just know entrepreneurs better than anybody and you are
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massively adb and bipolar and he was he had just built a billion dollar company that he'd sold the
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soft bank and was getting ready to go over and become the ceo of sprint and here i am telling them
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he's crazy but the medical community thinks entrepreneurs are nuts we're actually just
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hardwired to be very different from doctors and teachers and engineers and one of the hardest
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struggles for entrepreneurs that i've recognized over the years is we're struggling with being told
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that we're there's something wrong with us we're struggling with being told we have a disease
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bipolar is not a disorder it's actually a strike the mania that crazy energy the starting things
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quickly the fact that we get bored and delegate quickly those are all perpetual motion machines
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that help us start our company and get it going the stress and depression is simply us burning out and
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course correcting and working too much and feeling bad about taking time off for our business because
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of the guilt of talking to our employees but that's and it's magnified for us the stress is magnified
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because we can't go tell our spouse or our friends oh we're not taking a paycheck for three months
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we're not paying ourselves we haven't paid ourselves back for expenses you know here we are recruiting
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some some vp to come and work for us even though we're not sure how we're going to meet payroll in
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six days you know like we're really magnified amount of stress so that that craziness is um is is
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another reason to be involved in mastermind groups and and conferences for entrepreneurs and coaching even
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so that you are around your tribe of people that aren't going to wallow in it but learn from it and
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then grow from it um talk a little bit more about the entrepreneur's roller coaster ride like the
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ups and downs and how they typically navigate it because it's like you have to be a little bit crazy
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to run a business i mean you put it all on the line you take all the risk you pay all the taxes you're
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held fully accountable for anything that goes wrong you know your employees can walk away from the business
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but you can't like there's a lot of things that are working behind the scenes a lot of people see a really
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successful entrepreneur and they're like oh that guy you know he just you know he's a bad guy because
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money is the root of all evil and kind of like blah blah blah like insert in the narrative that makes
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them feel good that supports their belief system but that's really not the case i mean there's a lot
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going on behind that for you to go and execute and deliver the results and be successful and be able
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to employ all these people and you know everything that goes along with that
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well the stress and anxiety of starting a company and as you said putting it all on the line spending
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money signing personally against loans you know i don't think a lot of people really truly understand
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how much it takes to not just start a business but to get it up and running and to even be successful
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i think that old data point was that 85 percent of all businesses fail within the first year
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and of the 15 that succeed 85 of those fail within the first five so you have a very very low percent
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that you're even going to succeed as a business let alone get over a million or over 10 million or
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over 100 million in revenue it's extraordinarily hard to get into that zone and then you're often
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hit with these things that come out of left field so we'll speak to to covet as an example and you've met
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my sister before she's been running her own company for 25 years started it from scratch she was doing
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a million dollars a month in revenue covet hit and she had to shut her business completely
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with zero ability to go online so she runs co-ed intramural sports leagues for people in their 20s
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and 30s in seven or eight cities she can't tell a hundred thousand people to play co-ed intramural
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volleyball from their living room and we're going to play god on zoom right right you can't can't play
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basketball over zoom so she literally had to shut and now even though that the whole gta and the
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bunch of the city she's open are open for sports well the schools and the facilities that she used
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to run her events out of aren't allowing people to run sports there so she's literally at the mercy
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she's five months in with 65 employees and office space and overhead and full-time facilities and like
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that's a scary situation to be in right and so so when you watch these entrepreneurs and now she's
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back open and she's at about 50 and she'll grow and she'll be good but
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man i i've seen some people in her industry that had kept borrowing kept acquiring kept growing
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had no cash no reserves that will literally be out of business thankfully she was very conservative and
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very um smart investor and she's going to come out of it really strong but that's a scary situation to
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be in you know she can't go to government for a quick paycheck she can't get an extra loan
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nobody's going to cover all of her stuff and no one really understands and then all of our friends
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that have a job they don't really empathize right or they can empathize for five minutes but they
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can't empathize with you for the next 90 days that you're waking up or not going to sleep
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like this this stuff that comes out of left field and hits you usually hits you really hard it takes
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the wind out of your sails i mean i'll share a story um because i called you when this happened i think
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you're with your kids at disneyland or something like this this was around 2010 or 11 this was after
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our coaching um you know was done but um you know we we still chatted from time to time and the
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ontario government had had introduced this new bill in parliament they called it bill 55 and it was
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basically stacked with a bunch of shit which included uh changing the fee structure and where you could
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collect the fee with my business yeah and i was like holy shit like they're going to delay the first
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revenue event and they're going to cut it by two thirds this is not this is not feasible and i
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remember i fucking called you and you were like okay man i can't talk very long because i'm with the
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kids at disneyland but you've got to like you got to dig deep and pivot on this we talked very very
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briefly but i remember just getting off the phone with you i closed the blinds in my office and i just
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sat there and i put my my my uh face in my hands and i just started bawling i was like i'm fucked
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right like i had 23 employees um there was no way that we were going to survive it based on the
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language introduced in the legislation tried to fight it for two years with lobbyists that didn't
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really go anywhere um we did manage to pivot though we like like we found a way to pivot thankfully um
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with a lot of deep work but um yeah it's still running my my brother runs the business you know for
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the most part i've pretty much taken the exit out of it and i mostly do this now but
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there's always something that comes out of left field and that business has been running from
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2003 ish so almost you know 17 years now well and even if even if there's nothing that comes out of
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left field you have employees that quit you have theft you have insurance um issues you there's
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lawsuits there's um you know marketing gets expensive or you make marketing mistakes you know like it's just
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it's just not easy right and then and then if you're a caring person an empathetic person you
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care i care about my employees lives like when we were building 1-800-GOT-JUNK we ranked as the number
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two company to work for in the entire country right 1.46 million companies in canada we rank number two to
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work for it's because we were a very caring empathetic culture man i had no life i was i was doing my work
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during the day caring for employees doing extra work at night trying to catch up and the growth was so
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quick that just the stress of even being successful is tough you know people like we did we did six
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consecutive years of 100 revenue growth over a three-year period we had 19,600 growth it was
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ridiculously fast so you when you when you look at and people like oh that must have been so easy
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fuck no man look it's really hard when you got people coming in so fast you don't even know what
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business area they work in let alone what their name is yeah um do you get uh critics on your work
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camera oh of course yeah of course criticize you on um okay so let me go through the i'll go through
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the different areas of my business so i don't think i've really had any areas of criticism on any of my
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books i saw one recently and it was like nothing really new in here but i was talking about meetings
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so good i mean if you've read about how to run meetings then yeah like a meeting is a meeting but
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most people have never been trained but most of my books i'd say i get pretty great results or
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responses from my speaking events i'm told that i swear too much i talk too quickly um
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and that i'm i tell sexual jokes from the stage or sexual innuendos which is true
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um i can explain all of them they're all deep-seated insecurities i'm sure
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my coaching the model has changed enough over my coaching is i'm too distracted and you know i end
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up like in the middle of talking to somebody i'm checking email or making some social media post
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because i come up with some idea so my adb is really really hard to keep tight so it's way better
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for me if i'm coaching over video or in person um
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you're always going to get critics though so how do you normally deal with them well then the other
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the other one is that people people it's not so much a criticism but they say why aren't you running
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a company anymore i mean well i am i've actually got six employees but um they're like why aren't
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you building a bigger brand it's because i don't want to like i've done it three times i don't have a
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big need after doing college pro painters and then void auto body and gerber auto collision and then
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1-800-GOT-JUNK the last thing i need is to do another company i don't need i've had that it
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scratched right yeah so how do i do um i do talk about sorry yeah you i'm wondering on how i deal with
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criticism i learned this lesson from a good friend of mine tim ferris tim tim and i have known each
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other for 12 or 13 years he stayed at my home in vancouver we hung out i've hung out with his brother
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in vancouver and um when my ted i did a tedx talk about 10 or 11 years ago about raising kids
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as entrepreneurs it's a great talk thank you tim um tim called me about it and he was saying by the
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way don't read any of the negative comments on your ted talk because it's on the main ted website
00:23:24.540
he said don't read any of the negative comments anyone who writes comments is crazy and he said
00:23:29.840
however don't read any of the positive comments because those people are crazy too
00:23:33.880
and that was that was a really empowering thing to recognize because i used to be like oh look how well
00:23:40.180
they really love me they love me and then it's like oh they hate me and then i'm a loser and i'm
00:23:43.960
terrible so now i don't read any of the comments seriously i don't take the praise any seriously
00:23:50.300
any more seriously than the than the constructive criticism second and the last thing is the second
00:23:55.840
thing is i always try to look for some truth in any of the criticism because there usually is some
00:24:02.440
element of of truth and i'll show you what i mean by that what color you're looking at this what
00:24:09.140
color is this book that i'm showing you right now the paper is white are you talking about the
00:24:13.480
yeah right and the other side is if i had a card one side is white one side is orange
00:24:19.100
so you you see white i see orange right really two sides to the story and i've tried really hard when
00:24:25.920
i get criticism to see some truth in that that i can grow from but i don't i don't sit and stew on
00:24:33.840
it or or get upset about it anymore yeah i got to the point where um i think i heard joe rogan talk
00:24:39.380
about it once because i really like his interview style and it was just like he was just like you
00:24:42.560
can't read comments like you just can't go there because it's such a waste of your time and really
00:24:46.480
the opinions of the of these people shouldn't matter and it and it's one of the reasons why i run my
00:24:51.220
live show with members only chat in that area because i don't really uh particularly care too much
00:24:57.460
about the opinions of most people because they just um they don't understand like they haven't
00:25:02.300
walked a mile in your shoes right and it's usually these critics flicking boogers from the cheap seats
00:25:06.500
up at the 500 level and they've never actually walked anywhere close to a mile in what you're
00:25:10.880
doing um i want to pivot a little bit here and throw this up on the screen and talk about company
00:25:16.700
culture because this is one of the things that um you were really well known for with 1-800 got junk
00:25:21.960
so this is i remember this yeah yeah so i was thinking about this this morning go ahead i'll tell you
00:25:28.640
so these are some photographs from my office um this was after i had met you and we'd done some
00:25:33.540
coaching on improving uh company culture so these are actual shots of our office space around 2009
00:25:40.380
ish i would think um and i stole this from your sister's office space actually uh where we put up
00:25:46.920
like these b hags like these big hairy audacious goals you know up on the wall and then we started
00:25:51.560
slapping these done stickers when we started to get them done but um you know people in the office came up
00:25:56.640
with these great ideas about you know what what it is we'd like to hit and you know we we threw him
00:26:02.460
up there we said all right you know if this is your idea then let's make sure that we hold you
00:26:05.720
accountable to getting them done um you know we switched over from shitty chairs to these herman
00:26:10.080
miller chairs which cost us like 100 times more um put these things up all over the office you know
00:26:17.040
just as like constant reminders we cleaned up the office space and kind of jazzed it up with um
00:26:22.440
you know furniture that the guys picked up this over here was our um painted picture um i want to
00:26:28.900
talk about that as well after we talk about culture you know we threw around these these barbecues and
00:26:33.060
did lunches a lot we did a lot of like these are all canvas prints that we got from uh from adrian's
00:26:38.520
company canvas company you know those are all photographs that uh the staff uh submitted that
00:26:43.600
they want to decorate you know the space with um you know we even started writing shit up on the walls
00:26:49.140
with markers that's what i was laughing about i was thinking i love that when you let your employees
00:26:53.940
just handwrite shit up on the walls i was like at first i thought it was weird and then i've seen the
00:26:58.480
photos so i had some photos for years after i'm like it was really fucking cool because it was really raw
00:27:03.560
and it was real and it wasn't like overproduced yeah and that was the wall that i looked at across
00:27:09.160
from my desk in my office um you know with my ideas um a lot of these were constant reminders of
00:27:16.560
things that i was um you know i gave the staff some money to put a gym in the back of the office
00:27:20.700
because we had this um warehouse space back there um i think there's a picture of you and me in here
00:27:26.880
somewhere this is like kind of like a jersey day these guys yeah there you are there you are there's
00:27:31.240
a younger version of you and me without a beard oh you have to send me that that's amazing yeah
00:27:36.280
that's uh that's actually 2011 i think you visited like yeah i think you were in toronto for an
00:27:42.600
event that time but all of this shit was like we just went batshit crazy like
00:27:47.340
we even had a dog in the office that's awesome the director of greetings yeah dogs were great
00:27:54.980
but um talk about the importance of uh culture when it comes to office and i'll be honest with
00:28:00.120
you i think i went too far i think i went a little bit too far with it but i want to hear what your
00:28:03.920
opinion is so i i believe that culture um really starts not with the physical space and not with perks
00:28:12.420
but culture starts with an alignment with vision so you talked about your painted picture what i now
00:28:17.960
call a vivid vision uh culture comes from an alignment and a deep-seated belief and and living
00:28:24.120
of core values it comes with an alignment for your vhag your big hairy audacious goal and then your
00:28:30.360
core purpose that kind of the why that simon sinek kind of popularized so i think if i think of every
00:28:35.520
business like a jigsaw puzzle the four corners of the jigsaw puzzle are vivid vision core purpose
00:28:41.540
core values and the vhag and then culture starts with all of the people systems right recruiting
00:28:48.240
the right people interviewing and onboarding the right people leadership and growth and training
00:28:53.880
of all of your people it's one of the key things that gen y wants is growth in their roles
00:28:57.700
and then aligning them with with having the right meeting rhythms and coaching and communication
00:29:02.680
protocols that's where culture starts culture kind of gets wrapped up in the the tiffany blue box
00:29:09.060
is your office environment and giving them a nice space to work in and giving them the perks and the
00:29:14.280
you know the free massages and the free lunches and that kind of stuff but i think i think the media
00:29:19.740
has done us a disservice with thinking that culture is the physical space you know much like a family
00:29:25.000
i could give my kids the best home and a great environment and you know bmw when they're 16 and all that
00:29:32.740
stuff and i'd have a bunch of spoiled kids so it's not the perks and the beautiful home they live in
00:29:37.440
but if they have all the right core values and they're good kids and they're keeping their shit
00:29:42.820
together and they're working hard and they're working as a family they might get those things
00:29:46.740
because i can afford it but that's not where that's not what makes the happy family it's not what makes
00:29:51.580
a happy company so then once you're at that stage we're wrapping it all up in the blue box and you
00:29:56.700
give them the office environment i don't think too far is far enough yet i think i think you probably
00:30:03.160
we're we're getting to the point of even getting to uh you were probably at really good where where
00:30:10.260
you get to great is you know no no doors in the office just glass doors no walls just glass walls
00:30:16.920
at worst um where everybody sits in the same desk as everybody else no private offices where all the
00:30:23.780
blank spaces of the walls speak and there and it becomes like a cult this is one of the things i learned
00:30:28.660
from the founder of college pro painters which ended up being the largest house painting company
00:30:32.840
in the world to build an amazing business it has to be a little bit more than a business
00:30:36.740
and a little bit less than a religion it has to be in that zone of a cult so to be in that zone of a
00:30:42.460
cult people have to see it and feel it everywhere they go they've got to feel the core values be
00:30:47.400
reminded of the core values be reminded of your customers be reminded of each other so the walls when
00:30:53.040
they speak to that i think can be really really powerful the physical space that you give people
00:30:58.720
like the gym but but with the gym you want to be you want to be one by one firing all the negative
00:31:04.740
grumpy overweight smokers and one by one hiring people who are like fuck yeah i want to live in that gym
00:31:10.040
right we want to hire people that are are driving the business forward for us and they appreciate the
00:31:17.380
culture but they don't take it as a a right the um painted picture which you rename the vid the vivid
00:31:25.300
vision um when i wrote the one for my company um i spent a good deal of time just on that on that
00:31:34.720
two-page document then we printed it up on a large piece of um like commercial plastic like just like
00:31:41.480
nicely finished we put it in the reception area but it it spoke to the vision of the company
00:31:46.560
it talked about everything it was public it was with the employees we had it posted to our website
00:31:51.040
people could see it when they would come in to see what we're all about and where we're going
00:31:54.220
um this is something that i think guys can use in their own personal lives to design
00:32:01.720
like a life for themselves oh yeah i think you wrote a book on this didn't you yeah i did oh i and i've
00:32:07.980
actually covered the vivid vision concept now in three books so it's covered in double double
00:32:11.920
as chapter one it's covered in the miracle morning for entrepreneurs um and then i also wrote a book
00:32:18.500
called vivid vision which describes how to write a vivid vision for your business for yourself and for
00:32:24.440
a family and it's really how to craft and i did a tedx talk that's gone really viral as well
00:32:29.720
um on on basically your vision statement sucks and it really shows people how unless you're living with
00:32:36.380
intention unless you're living with it with a goal or driving towards something you can kind of end up
00:32:43.460
anywhere so as a life as a person let's say that's a guy who wants to have a better life
00:32:47.360
what what is your what do your relationships look like in three years what's your fitness level look
00:32:52.420
like in three years what are your hobbies look looking like in three years what are you doing to take
00:32:57.500
care of your your mental state um you know what are you doing in your sexual relationships what do you
00:33:02.740
like what are you doing with family and really describing how you see yourself acting and being
00:33:08.780
and then figuring out how do i make every sentence come true right so my i have a personal vivid vision
00:33:15.200
i can share it with you if you want to share with our listeners but my personal vivid vision talks about
00:33:19.640
you know time with my kids every quarter that i do one-on-one time with my kids and i keep my phone put
00:33:25.440
away and how once a year i do a very meaningful trip with my kids and i keep my phone put away and we try
00:33:30.380
to do global travel or what i'm doing for myself and my fitness levels and it it nags me the fact
00:33:36.180
that i have this vivid vision for myself and i share it with people kind of nags at me to keep
00:33:41.820
focusing on it and it calls me on my bullshit or my friends call me on my bullshit so i had a
00:33:46.500
a business associate a guy from the entrepreneurs organization who's coming into vancouver
00:33:50.400
and he said hey i read your vivid vision that says that you love to play tennis or go hiking instead
00:33:55.060
of going for drinks with people do you want to go for a hike i was like yeah actually like
00:34:00.320
holy shit that's amazing like it even sounded way more better way way more exciting than just going
00:34:05.260
for a drink with another person right he and i went and did like a three-hour hike together and
00:34:09.900
turns out now we've become really great friends because i was living i was more true to my vision
00:34:15.060
but the fact that i was willing to share it with strangers has helped me make it come true
00:34:19.000
yeah um so guys you can grab that book off amazon um and it's written from the perspective of you know
00:34:27.360
for an entrepreneur with a business but you can apply to your own personal life i know a lot of
00:34:30.800
you guys don't run businesses and you're and you're not particularly interested in that but if you want
00:34:35.100
to level up most guys sleepwalk through life you know most most guys will like just complicate the
00:34:42.680
crap out of their lives and then justify why they do it like philip mccernan that says you know
00:34:46.740
that's where i got that line from but um yeah some some intentional planning makes a big difference
00:34:52.580
when it comes to living a more fulfilled productive intentional um life it's just it's just a game
00:35:00.960
changer a lot of people would um you know get encouraged to do these uh what do they call them
00:35:06.120
like these collages where you'd cut out pictures of oh i want the fast car and vision board vision
00:35:11.820
boards yeah the idea with the vision board is actually popularized by a guy who i'm now close
00:35:16.160
friends with funny story but this in the movie the secret there was a guy john assarap who was the
00:35:21.540
largest real estate um broker agent for remax he had like 13 000 real estate agents coming up into his
00:35:27.040
empire and uh he popularized the concept of the vision board and then the day that i was leaving
00:35:33.500
1-800-GOT-JUNK 13 years ago brian sent me a note and said oh by the way on thursday this week
00:35:38.200
john assarap from the secrets coming in and we'd showed all of our franchisees the movie the secret
00:35:42.260
we showed all of our employees the movie the secret we believed in quantum physics and how to
00:35:46.240
actually leverage that so i go in and meet this meet this guy and after his little speaking event i
00:35:50.960
walked up to him and said hey john i'm cameron i'm gonna be going for lunch with you later he goes
00:35:54.180
cameron and he pulls out a piece of paper out of his pocket it was a like a triangle shaped piece
00:35:58.960
of paper that he ripped off the corner of an envelope had my name on it my phone number and he goes i'm
00:36:03.880
not sure why i was supposed to meet you but justin abernathy from washington dc told me to look you up
00:36:09.000
when i'm in vancouver i'm like all right it's pretty fucking random um the vision board's ideas
00:36:14.360
are a really popular way for one person to take their ideas and put some some things in front of
00:36:21.440
them that the picture says a thousand words but when you do a vision board for your company it's too
00:36:25.880
confusing because too many people can misinterpret the picture right if i was showing you a picture of
00:36:31.160
as an example my where i'm sitting right now you know you might see the room and go oh he's into
00:36:37.460
guitar i'm like yeah not really i i wanted to be but one of my kids is right so really what i was
00:36:43.060
showing you was the three pieces of art that i got in the netherlands because i love those pieces of
00:36:47.160
art that i've got but you don't know what i'm seeing in that picture so a vision board is a great
00:36:51.720
tool for one person to make their vivid vision come to life but if you're going to share your vision
00:36:56.520
with somebody else the vivid vision is a way better tool what do you think most entrepreneurs
00:37:00.780
get wrong focus is the big one i think most entrepreneurs are in their head have got an
00:37:09.340
idea of where they're going but they get distracted by the big shiny objects and by the opportunities
00:37:13.440
and then their employees don't know where they're going if the employees can't read your mind then you
00:37:21.200
have a whole bunch of people that are getting whiplash from all your random ideas but if your vivid
00:37:26.120
vision is very clear the entrepreneur can be that very add squirrel kind of person because all the
00:37:32.160
employees are all driving toward the vivid vision anyway the entrepreneurial kind of distraction doesn't
00:37:37.120
hurt them but the lack of focus and the lack of sharing vision i think are the two big things
00:37:41.560
um oh here i got um okay so i got your vivid vision here in the private chat so i'm gonna just drop
00:37:49.220
that in the public so you guys can take a look at you're okay with me sharing this yeah and i'll also
00:37:54.060
share with you the um chapter 12 on the highs and lows of c or the uh the roller coaster um you can
00:37:59.900
share that if you want to as well okay so there so there's a dropbox links for the vivid vision and
00:38:06.120
there's a chapter that camera just mentioned which i'm also dropping in chat as well right now um
00:38:13.780
let's switch gears a little bit and talk um talk about some of the stuff that i do now because um
00:38:22.420
i'm kind of i'm kind of like you where i've arrived at the point where i want to run a company of one
00:38:26.880
i don't want employees i don't want to move physical products you know i want to be agile i want to make
00:38:32.340
sure that it's it's it's as anti-fragile as as possible um so this is what i'm doing i mean like
00:38:39.700
you've seen me broadcast about this we were talking offline before we went live and you said that you
00:38:43.560
had some concerns about what i was talking about because it's um because it's a bit of a touchy
00:38:47.820
area what do you think about all these all these notions around helping guys understand the sexual
00:38:53.260
marketplace better because i think women inherently get it and they're held to a different set of rules
00:38:59.580
and standards generally but for guys it's a lot more difficult like what's your view been been on
00:39:04.840
this because i mean you've lived your own life as your own man you've been through the divorce
00:39:07.640
machine a couple times what do you think about it all yeah and when i said that i had some concerns
00:39:12.480
about it when i first saw you tweeting about this about two years ago it's from what i can recall about
00:39:18.160
two years ago i had some concerns for you getting whiplash from it but i loved what you were saying
00:39:24.320
because it was true so i didn't have concerns with the truth of it i was just more oh my god you're
00:39:29.320
gonna get shit for this but as you kept saying it i also was like keep saying it please keep saying it
00:39:35.980
because somebody needs to say this shit and the reality is there's so much of this that we've
00:39:40.600
all known to be true or many of us have known to be true maybe have our eyes open to it but there's
00:39:45.600
no narrative for it there's no space for it and and unfortunately being a we're both white males
00:39:52.280
privileged from north america you know in the high net worth because we've earned it nobody's going to
00:39:58.220
listen to us unless we make our voice heard right we're going to get smashed back down
00:40:01.720
but your comments need to be heard and they need to be shared um you know and and it's very hard to
00:40:08.480
say like i've i've heard people over the last number of years saying you know happy wife happy
00:40:13.060
life and i'm like not bullshit but i find it very hard to actually say bullshit you know i tried that
00:40:18.580
path i tried keeping my wife very happy and spending right to the end with you know horses and paying
00:40:24.460
credit cards and buying the date home and happy wife doesn't necessarily mean happy life
00:40:28.920
yeah there's a lot of um beliefs that guys end up having crushed um like for the most part stuff
00:40:38.860
that brings people to my content like at this stage i've got over 41 million views on the youtube channel
00:40:44.420
with 800 videos there's some private stuff behind that um that's more dense you know behind the paywall
00:40:50.260
and it's it's it's not as watered down but most of it's public um a lot of people come to it because
00:40:56.280
of trauma it's like i screwed up i i can't focus i can't sleep i can't i can't run my business i can't
00:41:03.200
you know i can barely get anything done at work i haven't seen my kids in in months what the hell's
00:41:07.800
going on and they go scrambling looking for answers and most people use youtube to how do i get my garage
00:41:13.280
door opener to close properly it's not working and they'll go and you know follow like a tutorial but
00:41:18.000
every once in a while they'll come across something that i've talked about um and thankfully the
00:41:22.300
algorithms still work reasonably well for guys like me and i've kind of like been constantly
00:41:26.920
working on on on cracking that but it does get the reach and i like that it gets a reach i just wish
00:41:34.100
that it was it was accepted more widely but i know that it's never going to be it's just i don't know
00:41:41.320
that it's not ever going to be and and here's why you know if we were to go back a hundred years
00:41:46.860
was it ever going to be acceptable for women to have a vote a hundred years ago we would have said
00:41:51.140
no way you know was it ever going to be acceptable for blacks to go through the same door and share
00:41:55.780
a water fountain we would have said no way and we've got a long way to go with racism and with
00:41:59.400
with i think we're past the point with equality but um i think you can look back at a lot of
00:42:04.500
situations and think that oh we could have never changed i think there is going to be some
00:42:08.560
narrative for this and i'll give you an example of of one very public moment that blew me away on the
00:42:14.480
male narrative finally being heard in an interesting way i've gone to the main ted conference for nine
00:42:19.860
years so this is the main stage five day you know 120 of the main ted talks in five days it's bill
00:42:26.240
gates is in the audience and you know sergey i have a picture of sergey brin and i sitting in a ball pit
00:42:31.160
together watching videos um you're you're sitting in the audience with 1800 of the most influential
00:42:36.020
people in the world they ted also runs two other main events they have ted global and they have ted
00:42:42.920
women and the ted women event is 800 women and about 50 men who are invited to attend i was one
00:42:49.960
of the men who was invited to attend ted women i've been twice so this was about four years ago and i was
00:42:56.200
watching a talk and a woman came out to tell her 18 minute talk and she was talking about how 20 years
00:43:03.060
ago her best friend who was a guy they'd been drinking they went back to her room they started making
00:43:09.320
out fooling around she kept saying no he pursued and she was raped by or date raped by her best friend
00:43:15.360
and she told her story of the trauma and the pain and the struggle for these nine you know 20 years
00:43:20.420
of dealing with it and at the nine minute mark of an 18 minute talk she stopped and she said but
00:43:26.660
there's another side to this story and this guy walked out on stage and said my name is dave or can
00:43:33.880
whatever his name was i was her best friend and for the last 20 years here's what i've gone through
00:43:39.900
knowing that i went too far with my best friend and knowing that why in my head it happened because
00:43:45.740
of alcohol or whatever but there's never been a narrative for me to share that and because she
00:43:50.540
and i have connected over the years and become friends again because of this we're allowing it to
00:43:54.480
share it with you i'm in the audience fucking sobbing like completely tears pouring down my face
00:43:58.920
because i have definitely had times when i'd been drinking where i pushed too far and it wasn't in
00:44:04.500
my mind it certainly wasn't rape and in fact i even called one of the girls from universe i'm like did i
00:44:08.780
push too far and she's like dude fuck no we were drunk we were fooling around you were fine i liked it
00:44:12.600
we're good like i was scared you were scared we're 22 years old but there's no narrative for that and i
00:44:18.680
think and and the whole audience of 750 women i would say 700 of the women were very moved and very
00:44:25.320
touched by hearing the female narrative on date right 50 women were we're never going to be happy
00:44:30.320
with hearing that anyway because of their own pain or whatever they're struggling with but i think
00:44:35.880
your stuff is going to have a space i think you're going to find that there is more and more
00:44:39.420
acceptability for it to the point that your videos are not being pulled your videos are not being flagged
00:44:45.740
your videos are not being um you know called hate so there is there is truth we just don't have
00:44:51.820
that narrative for it yet but i think it's coming i'll share a couple of um examples so i i put out
00:45:02.240
a tweet once um along the lines of um i think the title was something like six things women need to do
00:45:10.120
to keep a man don't be a single mom don't have debt uh compliment his life don't be the focus
00:45:17.240
don't nag him stay fit and beautiful and feminine and the internet lost its shit like i'm not talking
00:45:27.920
about just one or two people but it lost its shit there was probably about two dozen articles written
00:45:33.740
about that uh one tweet around the world like not just in north america australia new zealand eastern
00:45:40.660
europe even russia um you know i had to hit the google translate button um i posted the same one
00:45:46.940
on facebook and i had the outrage mob uh come at me like come right at the jugular so what they do
00:45:54.000
is they take it and then they post it in a private facebook group all of the karens get together they
00:46:00.180
marinate on it they get upset and then they come back in and they will comment and then they'll all
00:46:05.900
report it and i actually had to take down my facebook page um because there was a point where i'm
00:46:12.020
like okay i use facebook for some stuff that i don't want to have it banned on so i'm like i'm just
00:46:15.920
going to take down the page it's not worth it um but i haven't seen like i'll see that level of
00:46:24.120
acceptance when i see tedx women invite a guy like me or rollo tomasi to have a conversation
00:46:31.600
and a willing audience to want to hear about ownership and accountability well remember i'm
00:46:37.480
saying it's going to happen i'm not saying it's going to happen like in the next two years
00:46:40.580
i think it's but i think it's happening i think it's starting to become not accepted but that
00:46:47.840
people are talking about it more i have another former client here's how close it is to me i have
00:46:52.620
a former client of mine that i used to coach he's the ceo of a very big company in toronto i'm not
00:46:58.080
going to give his name because i don't know how public he is with all red pill stuff but he is like
00:47:01.980
hardcore right there with you on this stuff and i never would have seen it from him right but he was
00:47:08.240
telling me about the same books and the similar articles of what you're talking about i think
00:47:12.300
there's more of a movement towards balance or this narrative being shared than we imagine
00:47:18.920
much like you know the blacks have been fighting for something since the 50s and 60s my dad went to
00:47:24.900
high school in toronto st mike's a private boys school blacks weren't allowed there and he was like
00:47:30.400
how would you allow blacks to go there like blah blah blah and he was going the brunswick house in
00:47:35.480
toronto that i used to go to all the time had a door for colored people like on the side of the
00:47:39.540
building women and colored like that sign was up there in the 90s when i was going they didn't use
00:47:45.020
it for that but the sign stayed we're not so far from having to change that i don't think we're so
00:47:50.980
far from having to swing back because too many men are pissed off and we're realizing we have a voice
00:47:57.120
like as an example my first marriage my ex-wife will never ever have to work ever that's completely
00:48:03.860
wrong i don't mind paying spousal support and child support to a point but when i was paying i was
00:48:09.220
paying sixteen thousand dollars a month in child support a year ago because it's indexed against
00:48:13.340
my income that is a fuck ton of money and she never has to go to work there's there's a balance issue
00:48:19.200
there where i have to work my head off just to keep paying and the more that i make the more that i
00:48:23.600
have to give and you have an ex who gets to just you know hang out not do anything not work
00:48:29.900
doesn't like that where there's too many men that are pissed off about that now and we have social
00:48:36.200
media to share it so here's the other thing a lot of these narratives couldn't be shared prior to 13
00:48:41.340
years ago right we only had books and the mass media but facebook only started 13 and a half years
00:48:48.420
ago i had the first facebook account that got junk so the fact that we have even a place for you to
00:48:53.740
share youtube is less than 13 years old you know we didn't have places to share the everyday person's
00:49:01.640
narrative so we were filtered by the mass media or the publishing world i think we're going to see
00:49:06.340
change around this more and more because we can we can stand up and say what we feel what do you think
00:49:12.180
about the de-platforming of a lot of voices on silicon valley platforms like youtube facebook twitter
00:49:18.180
i'm i understand it um and i've even had talks with you know the woman who broke the whole cambridge
00:49:26.620
analytica story i've sat and talked to her about what happened with cambridge analytica and i understand
00:49:31.220
the filter bubbles that happen with the media and how you can create an account and publish a story
00:49:36.400
even though it's not true it's like i could i could create a news site tomorrow and call it you know
00:49:41.540
the uh the north american um press daily fuck whatever right and we we create a website for
00:49:49.440
that and then we publish a story and then we put that story on a facebook page and then i buy traffic
00:49:55.100
towards that story the story is wrong like i just created it it's not it's not true at all and it's on
00:50:01.540
a platform that looks real but it's not real the fact that i can then push that story out to millions
00:50:07.460
of people that are influenceable you know like the the the middle class the ones who buy the national
00:50:12.580
inquirer like lists that you can acquire and push that content in front of them i think that's
00:50:17.740
dangerous so i think it's okay for these social platforms to protect against something like that
00:50:24.480
i think unfortunately there's a pendulum where they can go a little bit maybe too far
00:50:29.040
and i'm concerned about that i'm concerned about the freedom of speech and the freedom of the press
00:50:32.940
but i also think that there's a way when they know that their platform is being used to spread
00:50:38.240
complete lies that it is their platform to police it yeah do you think that um like these platforms
00:50:46.280
should be almost like public utilities where they don't have the option to de-platform anybody it's it's
00:50:52.780
you know this is a space where you can broadcast yourself well i would i would say yes except because
00:50:58.980
you can purchase advertising to boost that you're not really just saying it you know so as an example
00:51:04.200
i could post a a and i know a very very famous ted speaker an extraordinarily famous one
00:51:09.740
whose ted whose whose original ted talk went extraordinarily viral and it's not because people
00:51:16.360
noticed it it's because his marketing team purchased traffic and drove people to the video
00:51:21.960
and the more thousands and thousands and tens and hundreds and millions of people they drove to it
00:51:27.380
which didn't cost very much 10 years ago got his ted talk to boost so quickly that it was becoming the
00:51:32.900
most watched and then momentum took over that's okay because he was telling the truth but let's say
00:51:39.080
as an example i decide to share share something that's not true to incite a problem with an election
00:51:45.460
or a problem with us with a local government or a problem with social mores and it's not true
00:51:50.900
i think it's not really a social i think you call it like a utility if they if we're just posting it
00:51:57.780
and then if people saw it it went but that's not the way the model works yeah it's difficult to
00:52:03.380
manage that i mean i've seen um you know i can use two examples right off the top of my head that i can
00:52:11.160
think of that aren't that are perfect to kind of illustrate this but there's um this guy stefan
00:52:16.740
molyneux who's a canadian guy and i don't particularly like his content or support it but
00:52:21.320
um you know he's he's done i think thousands and thousands of videos on his channel and he just got
00:52:26.820
deplatformed one day with no strikes doesn't swear um he just talks about some things that um are
00:52:34.200
quite often fact-based you know if i'm being honest from what i've seen but you know he was gone and
00:52:38.160
there was another guy um roosh who was more of like a hardcore pickup artist from back in the day
00:52:44.340
like he wrote books like bang iceland bang england bang latvia like he would just travel around and
00:52:51.280
just be a pickup artist and then write a book about banging over there um and then he kind of pivoted
00:52:56.620
one day because he talked about you know well i put out content for whatever it was 10 15 years
00:53:02.080
about fornicating is a word that he used and then i pivoted one day because i became an orthodox
00:53:06.640
christian and he decided to talk about his you know christian values publicly and he got deplatformed
00:53:12.040
because of that um because he was talking about his uh uh religious beliefs around uh homosexuality
00:53:20.100
and stuff like that right yeah so i don't think that those people should be deplatformed for our
00:53:24.340
opinions i think if you're misusing a platform the platform there has to be some gray zone there as
00:53:29.760
well yeah it's difficult to manage that though but i mean yeah it for me like i look at it like i'm
00:53:36.600
building my entire business on somebody else's land and they can just pull the rug out for me at any
00:53:41.300
given time so you have to be particularly careful about the sorts of conversations that you have
00:53:46.440
and if you want to talk about ideas you kind of need to water them down and leave the deeper concepts
00:53:50.920
you know behind the paywall for community members or or you listen to your grandmother my grandmother
00:53:56.800
always said that you don't put all your eggs in one basket so so you don't build your platform just
00:54:01.420
on youtube you also build it on facebook you build it on instagram you build it on twitter
00:54:04.980
you build it on a private community you you build it on paid lists like i think if because
00:54:09.800
you're now getting to the stage that youtube could shut down tomorrow morning and by the way if
00:54:14.380
you're building your business only around youtube and it did shut down you're fucked like you may as
00:54:19.020
well hedge your bets anyway just in case right or if they started charging or if you know
00:54:24.360
yeah um it is still a good place to get discovered
00:54:29.360
spectacular i love your i love your videos i was watching a bunch last week
00:54:34.920
yeah which one have you seen that um kind of gave you like a big aha moment
00:54:39.340
i'm watching well i'm i'm in a a unique stage right now where i've been divorced twice
00:54:46.040
i'm dating a girl now for we're at like the two and a half year mark
00:54:50.180
um she's getting ready to go traveling i'm you know wanting to go and live globally i'm talking more
00:54:56.220
about wanting to be in an open relationship ish but not entirely sure what that is so i'm listening
00:55:00.860
to things around you know relationships and sexuality and and dating other girls but then
00:55:06.120
also trying to think about is that really what i want so just kind of playing around those those
00:55:10.160
those borders or discussions or boundaries yeah that seems to be a popular conversation piece
00:55:15.420
especially for entrepreneurs like i know aubrey marcus has been quite public about having an open
00:55:19.680
marriage and the stuff tied around that but then he recently did an interview with brian rose on
00:55:24.500
london real real where he was talking about i just couldn't live with knowing some other guy was
00:55:31.000
i mean i'm gonna water this down but basically gorilla banging the crap out of my wife
00:55:35.760
yeah while i'm out on a trip or something like that so he switched to monogamy so why do you think that
00:55:42.840
like um why do you think that idea of um open relationships is so popular with entrepreneurs i mean like
00:55:49.260
entrepreneurs like to hack everything you know we like to biohack this and hack relationships you
00:55:55.620
know sort of thing what's your thought on that so i think some of it is because we're becoming more
00:56:00.180
open with discussing sexuality that we're actually talking about different forms of sexuality or
00:56:06.720
different kinks or different relationships again more than we used to because we have social media it's
00:56:11.960
being shared again even more so we're being exposed to what we never got exposed to because we had to
00:56:16.800
go to the library to buy a book on something we didn't even know about and we certainly didn't
00:56:20.220
talk about it over beer and the mass media wasn't reporting so social media has given rise to
00:56:25.180
things like different types of relationships different kinks different um forms of of partnerships
00:56:31.680
etc as it's given rise to the the popularity of psychedelics i mean 15 years ago no entrepreneur
00:56:38.320
was going to talk to another entrepreneur about doing drugs unless we tripped over the issue
00:56:41.840
and now it's like fuck yeah i'll go to burning man and do dmt with you or i'll go to peru and do
00:56:46.500
you know ayahuasca or i'll go and do mushrooms in the forest like it's becoming a very normal thing
00:56:51.700
so i think i think some of it is that um i know aubrey we've shared the stage together we've talked
00:56:57.780
i've spoken with his his ex now his ex-wife about it i've spoken to so many different individuals over
00:57:03.880
the years about open relationships polyamorous relationships polygamous relationships that i'm
00:57:08.980
more intrigued by it but i'm also very similar to aubrey i've talked to neil strauss who wrote the game
00:57:14.280
and the truth and you know neil went and played in every single possible realm only to come back to
00:57:18.760
his girlfriend get married have a kid and then now he's divorced i think what it's pointing to is
00:57:22.860
relationships are tough um sexuality is tough and confusing and exciting um communication is tough
00:57:32.160
and and and so i i'm playing with it to just understand as well like i have these human needs
00:57:37.620
where i want to be able to have other partners but then i want to be able to have a trusting
00:57:41.480
good relationship with my partner and she'll say well yeah go play with an escort or yeah go go to
00:57:47.140
a massage place or go get another you know have sex with some girl that you needed a conference
00:57:50.740
but then i'm kind of going like does she really mean that and then then i feel worried that i should do
00:57:55.900
it and then it's like well do i really want then i'm like do i really want to do that or what like what
00:58:00.380
do i prefer so i think it's just dancing around those discussions that maybe we've had in our heads
00:58:06.400
or lied about over the years that now we're more prepared to to explore a lot of the stuff that
00:58:13.060
women tell guys to do around relationships um boil down to competency tests also known as shit testing
00:58:20.340
you yeah to see if you'll actually do it i mean there might be some some truth behind it i mean
00:58:25.740
another truth that the red pill really brings when you start to see it is that women would prefer to
00:58:30.540
share a high value alpha rather than to be strapped down with a with a faithful loser i heard you say
00:58:35.840
that actually that actually resonated as accurate to me yeah yeah i mean as long as you you are seen
00:58:42.820
in her eyes as her best option um i mean she's not going to be fond of it but she'll tolerate it
00:58:49.060
well i think we're so i think where my girlfriend is right now is that she is probably very okay with
00:58:55.940
if i was at a conference if i was at an event and i happened to meet somebody the energy was there
00:59:00.480
and we ended up having sex great do it just don't tell me i think that's kind of the room
00:59:05.800
she wants to be in where i want to be though is more i don't actually want to lie to her i would
00:59:11.580
i would actually rather have like if she says where were you for the last four hours not to go
00:59:19.060
i was sitting with guys in the bar and make up some stupid story so then it's like well is it worth it
00:59:23.880
is it worth it to not tell her the truth because she doesn't really want to know the truth and i
00:59:27.420
really don't think she's testing on that one i think it's more it is just more as when i'm thinking
00:59:32.020
look she's going to go travel around the world for three years even though she doesn't have the
00:59:35.900
same level of sexual need that i have mine's super high um i think fuck she might meet somebody
00:59:43.460
and end up wanting to have sex like well she had sex with people before me is it going to really kill
00:59:47.480
me now i wouldn't want her to have a partner in addition to me forever so that's kind of where
00:59:52.480
we are with our thinking of it is where aubrey and his wife had like girlfriends and boyfriends
00:59:57.020
like they they had partners that they would see every tuesday and thursday for a year
01:00:01.620
so that's not what i want in my relationship i i really want to have a primary partner who
01:00:06.620
i get to hang with and cuddle with and make dinners with and have sex with but then if that energy
01:00:11.380
strikes itself as right i'd rather be able to tell the truth than to lie see the the the truth about
01:00:18.780
those conversations it really boils down to the societal conditioning that we get hammered into
01:00:23.220
ourselves our entire lives through the female primary social order and the truth is women don't
01:00:27.940
see women want truth but they but they don't want full disclosure yeah there's there's almost this
01:00:34.980
hamster that loves to be caffeinated in her head you know running on the wheel like she has to have
01:00:40.320
some competition anxiety for you because if she feels like other women don't desire you and other
01:00:46.500
men don't want to be like you then your value starts to go down like we talk about this process of
01:00:51.380
beta tization through a thousand concessions which most guys go through in a marriage at some point
01:00:55.320
because it just ends up being yes honey yes yes yes and they just stamp everything yes yes yes yes
01:00:59.840
yes and at some point she's like screw this guy you know and it's like you know they have a
01:01:04.740
conversation about i love you but i'm not in love with you and i'm going to take the kids and go to
01:01:07.880
my mom's house sort of thing and it kind of spirals from there but yeah there's a lot of unknowns
01:01:11.820
that kind of sit in a lot of guys blind spots that i just find fascinating especially from the
01:01:16.080
perspective of being an entrepreneur and working with entrepreneurs and i do coach a lot of
01:01:21.200
entrepreneurs around this subject and that's that that tends to be what i focus on but the dynamics
01:01:27.060
and the beliefs that a lot of guys have that are that are very successful entrepreneurs that are that
01:01:31.300
are literally weapons in their business life but also subscribe to the you know happy wife happy life
01:01:36.240
notion or you know they hear something cool like oh polyamory so i can go bang other people and
01:01:40.820
everything will be fine but then they realize when their wife is getting you know smashed by an nba
01:01:45.720
basketball player they're like doesn't feel so good no yeah but i know a lot of couples who have
01:01:51.900
tried polyamory tried poly poly relationships have tried open relationships most of them have failed
01:01:58.260
most of them have blown up and i think there is that it's either okay we have to bring back the gray
01:02:04.460
zone a little bit or maybe it's not really that worth it and um there's a really good book i think
01:02:10.680
you'd like it's called alpha god by heck by dr hector garcia i don't know if you've heard of it but i
01:02:17.020
want to check it out if you have some time it's a really interesting listener uh read he basically
01:02:21.200
talks about um about you know the very notion of relationships and the type of relationships over
01:02:28.060
time but he more specifically focuses on like the the super high value alpha that runs harems
01:02:33.420
yeah like i i don't like i'm gonna all listen to it and i'm gonna get uh the rational mail which you
01:02:40.960
mentioned to me again i'm gonna actually get the audio and just kind of devour that because i need
01:02:44.260
to get into that again too my my zone that i'm playing in is certainly a more contained container which
01:02:52.540
is yeah i i'm not looking to have two or three partners fuck i can barely manage having one like
01:02:58.640
i i actually want to spend time with my guy friends i want to spend time with myself like
01:03:03.120
even last night my two boys were like hey they're 19 and 17 they're like hey do you want to watch a
01:03:08.380
movie i'm like yeah by myself they're like no why can't we watch them together i was like i actually
01:03:12.320
just want to i can lie in my room by myself with the tv and just stare at it and not have to deal with
01:03:17.860
anybody for no reason other than i just wanted some alone time yeah i don't i don't need to have
01:03:22.600
a polyamorous you know like mormon relationship with three wives running around my house a hard
01:03:27.720
pass i'm good no that looks like a nightmare i've watched a couple episodes of these guys with these
01:03:32.100
five wives and it's like oh dude you really have just ruined your life i've got i have a close friend
01:03:37.360
of mine who lives in eden yukon he owns a former um poly mormon home he's got five kitchens in his
01:03:43.620
home and there's five distinct areas i'm like dude hard and fucking pass like yeah no i'm good
01:03:49.620
thank you massive pass i got this question here um i think you know this guy because he commented
01:03:54.700
on the post when you when you put it out he says how does cameron seen the influence of red pill
01:03:59.000
awareness for building a business i guess i would think of it as as more you have to speak your truth
01:04:06.340
you have to speak exactly what you think and what you feel you have to just be you and you're
01:04:12.600
going to attract people who buy into that and the more that you water down as an entrepreneur
01:04:16.640
either your vision or your beliefs or your goals or your focus the the less people are going to give
01:04:23.080
a shit you know steve jobs i think as much as everyone might talk about one of the things i
01:04:27.480
love about steve even though he's a bad as an entrepreneur in some areas he just didn't give a
01:04:32.500
shit what anybody thought he's like i'm going to remember when the iphone came out 13 and a half years
01:04:36.600
ago 14 years ago like i'm going to release this iphone and and this is what it's going to be
01:04:43.340
like and we're like no but it's missing a keyboard he's like i don't give a fuck it doesn't need a
01:04:46.480
keyboard and then the first time we heard it or touched it we're like oh my gosh we're in we're
01:04:50.900
addicted and i think that red bull red pill awareness might kind of translate into that as
01:04:56.020
well of just really owning yourself owning your truth speaking it and being okay with it
01:05:00.620
who do you see um out there today that you really admire when it comes to business like the way they
01:05:10.260
run their business the way they run their life the way they oh wow i don't think i really look to like
01:05:16.580
i don't think i sit there and go wow i really admire that one person i think i look to i think i i see
01:05:22.500
lots of things in lots of people and businesses that i'm like oh i like that but i wouldn't say i have
01:05:27.600
one that's everybody we all have our shit we all have like our okay so let me rephrase that so i
01:05:33.340
mean you've been around entrepreneurs your entire life like i mean you told a story on your tedx talk
01:05:37.280
about raising children to be entrepreneurs and again that's great you guys really need to watch that so
01:05:40.860
just go look it up but um what what beliefs have you updated and changed recently like in the last
01:05:47.040
few years that you didn't hold true prior to running a business or as a person let's talk about you
01:05:54.380
as a person because not everybody here runs a business me as a person um
01:05:59.400
one was the whole happy wife happy life um and that that it goes back to the money can't buy
01:06:07.740
happiness like so true like we're on a hamster wheel chasing stuff for no reason whereas i'm looking
01:06:13.440
at really getting off the grid now and living globally and really enjoying my global travels and
01:06:18.280
um so that's one one was just working that i had to work hard to be successful whereas reality you
01:06:24.820
don't have to work hard you have to work smart um one that has shifted i think because of technology
01:06:30.860
in the last 20 years like i'm a little older i went i graduated from university you know 32 years ago
01:06:36.420
when i graduated from university i didn't have a computer none none of us had computers when i was in
01:06:43.240
university we had typewriters computers came around a year or two after i finished university
01:06:48.040
so the fact that you can actually go online and find information and problem solve and network and
01:06:56.640
connect when i was in school you had to be the smartest person in the room because because if you
01:07:01.640
weren't the smartest person it was too hard to connect with the other smart people you didn't
01:07:04.580
even know who they were now you no longer have to be the smartest person you have to know them
01:07:09.060
so i think now my what i've had to let go of and my belief was that i had to be smart
01:07:13.640
now i just have to know the smart people so now my it's all about networking and connecting and
01:07:18.320
relationships and community um is one i've let go of i let go of the fact that it was okay just to
01:07:26.260
drink every night i used to come home and drink a couple glasses of wine or half a bottle or a bottle
01:07:31.380
of wine never more than a bottle but it was like a half bottle to a bottle for years
01:07:34.820
and i'm like that's really not a good thing that's like i'm walking away from something i had to own
01:07:41.240
it myself right like i'm i'm avoiding something i'm using it to kill pain or loneliness and then i'm
01:07:46.820
getting depressed because of it i'm tired in the morning so i don't get exercise and so now i do like
01:07:51.480
these periods of cleanses where i'll take you know a month off every year and not drink right now
01:07:55.880
i'm doing two and a half weeks of not drinking just to to force myself into a kind of check myself
01:08:01.880
put myself in the penalty box for two minutes and to make sure that i'm in control of it
01:08:06.660
yeah you got to make these vices your bitch every once in a while right yeah um you were talking about
01:08:12.540
becoming a global citizen what does that mean like there's just being like more i didn't touch on the
01:08:16.320
car thing too i've never been a car guy and i remember driving with you in your in your car i think
01:08:21.740
it was a bmw a pretty fast one years ago and i and i love the feeling and the power and i remember
01:08:26.760
looking at you going i just look successful like you just looked and felt successful in this car
01:08:32.160
was it like a six series or something do you remember what you had uh i think that's when
01:08:36.840
i picked you up from the airport and my m3 convertible so that was like a 414 horsepower v8 but
01:08:42.300
but it sounded really nice like it's powerful yeah so so years ago i went out and bought my
01:08:47.020
for i was driving a saab and then i drove another saab and then i went out and bought a fully loaded
01:08:51.400
p90d tesla fucking loaded it with everything 130 000 us bought and never even drove test drove it i
01:08:57.700
just like went and picked it up like holy shit man i don't know what we've been driving but they're
01:09:04.020
not cars like that is just ridiculous so i i get it now and every single day i sat down in it i loved
01:09:11.640
it and felt successful and i would tell any single guy out there buy yourself the car that you want to
01:09:16.720
be driving before you buy anybody else anything before you buy anything else for your kids before
01:09:21.440
you buy anything else for your spouse before you pay anything for your parents buy yourself the car
01:09:25.860
or lease the car for the next three years you are going to feel good like every time i sit in my cars
01:09:32.080
now i feel good i've got right now in vancouver i've got an audi q8 like fully decked out suv because
01:09:38.360
i'm in the mountains but every time i sit in it i'm like i feel good like there's something that that
01:09:43.380
transfers into the way i walk into the coffee shop or the way i show up on my calls and
01:09:47.120
it's a really weird segue moment but i get it it's interesting that you say that because there's a
01:09:52.300
lot of guys i know that's like you wouldn't even know that that that they're a loader i think there
01:09:56.320
was one interview that jeff bezos did where he was driving this shitty old honda man yeah yeah and
01:10:02.400
like the reporter's like okay you're the richest guy in the world why are you driving this car sort of
01:10:06.920
thing why aren't you in the back of a rolls royce with a you know with somebody driving but there's a lot
01:10:10.740
of guys um out there that that are that are super successful but they're not car guys i was actually
01:10:15.920
surprised because when i was a kid i thought everybody was a car guy because all my friends
01:10:18.900
were car guys we like cars a lot we always did like these big burnouts and we're doing donuts in
01:10:22.780
the wintertime in the parking lots and a lot kind of stuff and then as i got older and i started to
01:10:26.820
you know start reading books like you know richard branson's biography he never talked about cars once
01:10:31.200
you know he talked about doing balloons and racing across the ocean in a powerboat um you know you read up
01:10:36.920
on steve jobs and he like the nicest car he had was an older mercedes that he never even plated like
01:10:41.400
you basically use this technique to never plate the car yeah my mine is a mine is a treating myself
01:10:47.100
with something that is going to to pay off time and time again so you mentioned the herman miller chair
01:10:55.180
i've got a herman miller aaron chair at my office desk 50 60 feet from me i only fly first class now
01:11:01.800
but people the people are like oh is that an ego thing no i actually have met more business deals
01:11:06.500
sitting in first class than i've ever met sitting in economy i landed the country of qatar because i
01:11:13.200
sat beside the second in command for the country on a flight from vancouver to phoenix i landed the ceo
01:11:18.920
of sprint i've landed speaking events so now i'm like wait a second i'm going to pay to put myself in
01:11:23.820
that spot because i'm around successful people i'm going to pay to put myself in a nice car because it
01:11:28.400
makes me feel good every single day i'm going to pay to sit in the best chair out there because i
01:11:32.920
feel good eight hours a day when i'm sitting in it right now i'm sitting in a three thousand dollar
01:11:36.960
leather leather shades that i do work on i don't know if you can see are you in the same one the
01:11:41.760
hardware yeah that's fucking amazing i love this thing and then i and then i drop when i travel i
01:11:47.500
stay in nice hotels or i stay in really really baller you know airbnb's because it feels good now and
01:11:54.100
then i might cut back a little bit on the fact that yeah i wear a lululemon sweatshirt because it
01:11:58.000
doesn't really give a shit well they're actually pretty comfortable i guess um yeah so talk about
01:12:06.000
you know the importance of putting yourself in the right room and and reinvesting yourself because
01:12:10.180
you talked about becoming part of joe polish's genius network i think that was 25 000 a year
01:12:14.600
i go to mastermind talks you know it's not cheap um a lot of people balk you know when i say hey you
01:12:20.660
know if you want to reach out to me for coaching and they get mad at me because i'm because because i'm
01:12:23.820
1500 bucks an hour right they're like oh you know you're a grifter and you're profiting from people
01:12:27.580
it's like no i focus on this area more on the high end there's other guys out there they'll deal with
01:12:32.100
lower end stuff but like the importance of of surrounding yourself in rooms where these these
01:12:37.620
i mean jason jason gaynard said this and it and it really resonated with me i don't know if he was
01:12:43.380
the first one to say it but it was the first person that i heard it from but if you're the smartest
01:12:47.060
person in the room you're in the wrong room and most people find themselves in a position where
01:12:51.200
they've done just enough work where they become the smartest person in the room and they never
01:12:55.280
want to leave that room well and for me i'm um that was my life for a long time because i was the
01:13:03.100
speaker who was being paid to come to speaks of groups of entrepreneurs and i was coaching
01:13:08.680
entrepreneurs so all of a sudden i was the thought leader and the expert and it took me a while to
01:13:13.940
break away from that feeling which even built a bit of a chip on my shoulder where i was always
01:13:19.360
trying to like show them or show off and some of that's my little kid insecurity coming out in me
01:13:23.880
to finally now when i started going to all these masterminds like i've been to mastermind talks five
01:13:28.620
times i was in strategic coach for seven years i've been in war room for two years i've been in genius
01:13:34.060
network for five or six years i've gone to the main ted conference nine times i'm spent like we're
01:13:39.520
spending about 50 to 100 000 a year on being a part of these groups um and i know i'm oh i've been to
01:13:45.260
baby bath water three times so i am now very used to not being the smart the smartest guy in the room
01:13:52.440
i'm used to being a smart guy in the room but but going damn there's a lot of smart people you know
01:13:58.780
i sat beside this guy at ted years ago who was a little dirty a little disheveled you know his shoes
01:14:04.660
were untied and i sat down with him because i felt sorry for him because i was one of the earliest
01:14:08.600
people into the theater so we're sitting chatting and bill gates comes over to him he's like addison so
01:14:13.040
wonderful to see you and they talked for a second and bill gates leaves and then al borkham's over
01:14:16.780
addison so wonderful to see you and then he leaves and then demi more comes over addison so wonderful
01:14:21.000
to see you and then she and i talked because she'd seen my ted talk i'm like addison who are you he's
01:14:26.980
like oh i was the founder of verisign and i was the founder of rss and i'm you know i've got billions
01:14:31.340
of dollars in cash right now um i remember going fuck like i am filled with a room of people that are at
01:14:39.200
a thousand times more successful than i've ever not only ever been but ever dreamed like i'm
01:14:44.780
sitting beside sergey brin the founder of google in a ball pit right like i don't even want to ask
01:14:50.500
a question because it's like it's going to be largely irrelevant to whatever he's thinking
01:14:55.000
yeah i think that's great but i'll tell you it raises my game it raises my bar like you have
01:15:01.080
discussions with people first you also realize they're just like you you know like i was sitting
01:15:05.920
with chip wilson the founder of lululemon at ted over coffee and i introduced him to kombucha he
01:15:11.160
didn't know what kombucha was i'm like wow i'm teaching this the founder of lululemon what kombucha
01:15:14.880
was and now we sit at lunches when we see each other at conferences we hang out together and you
01:15:19.500
realize he's just a guy right a very uber successful wealthy guy but he dreams bigger he communicates well
01:15:26.140
and i've seen him on stage and i've seen him with with people and he talks the same i'm like i'm
01:15:31.220
learning that that even the way i approach stuff like i don't have a stage voice i don't have a
01:15:36.740
coaching voice i don't have a podcasting voice i just i'm just me that's a learned that's a learned
01:15:43.160
confidence though from being in those groups i love it um i want to respect your time so we can wrap up
01:15:48.820
and keep it under 90 minutes because i want to chat with a little bit offline as well but where's the
01:15:52.880
best place for people to find you and who should be finding you who should be finding me i am anyone
01:15:59.660
for sure in the entrepreneurial world because i really do focus on that sector so you know my
01:16:03.820
five books are all available on amazon audible and itunes if they look at my name they'll find all
01:16:08.300
five books i would start with probably the miracle morning for entrepreneurs um and double double
01:16:13.940
or the vivid vision book but but those would be the three that i would point this audience towards
01:16:18.300
um the coo alliance if anybody's running a company of of you know five million or greater check
01:16:24.380
out the coo alliance for sure and then check out my second in command podcast we we have some
01:16:28.960
amazing amazing guests and learning on that cool all right so um i'm gonna grab some of the links
01:16:34.480
once this broadcast renders and put it in the top comment just so you guys can click them easier but
01:16:38.720
you can also just find cameron by searching his name it it always pops up at the top whenever you
01:16:43.040
look for it all right brother thanks for uh sharing that you know we touched on a lot of uh really
01:16:48.780
interesting and fun stuff in some areas i don't even think we'd get to but um that was awesome
01:16:53.200
yeah same i i've never had a filter which you know about me so that was great it's been really
01:16:58.900
great catching up and i've been really really proud of your success over the years and i'm glad
01:17:02.480
that and i hate the word pivot i'm glad you found a new better calling than the business you used to
01:17:08.440
be in like our business no one gives a shit about our business and the fact that you're doing something
01:17:12.720
that is a passion is and making a difference i think is really huge yeah it took a while to find
01:17:17.920
it but when i but when i like had that frying pan to the forehead moment i was like okay this is this
01:17:23.140
is what i need to be doing like i need to spend more time on this by the way last last quick kind
01:17:28.260
of un unasked for coaching moment i don't think you're charging enough i i really think that i saw
01:17:33.420
kind of your group honest to god i think you should be three times at least right now three times on all
01:17:39.120
of your levels um for what you're offering i think you have a bigger offering and a bigger opportunity
01:17:43.940
and a bigger audience i think you're massively underselling yourself and i had to get told
01:17:47.880
that years ago as well but i don't think you're charging enough thanks um all right guys so
01:17:52.800
those of you that have been crying about my high rates get in get in now because they're going up
01:17:58.280
because get in now so if you guys you're i'm going to do like a shameless shout out so if you guys want
01:18:03.600
to get in so that's the link to get in my community prices are definitely going to go up as per mr
01:18:07.780
cameron harold you know we have like a bronze level that's super cheap to get into but your silver
01:18:14.240
and gold or whatever those upper twos are three x less than they should be thanks appreciate that