Playing to Win - 031 - The Making of an Unplugged Alpha

00:00:00.000 all right and we are live welcome back everybody for another episode in the playing to win series

00:00:08.560 this is number 31 and i'll be joined today uh with a gentleman who has been in my community

00:00:14.240 for a while uh he's a long-standing great member he's also a guy that we've uh done a collab with

00:00:20.900 before um he basically helps guys level up and he's been doing it for quite a while he's got

00:00:25.920 a bit of an interesting origin story himself so i'm really looking forward to bringing him on so

00:00:30.940 without any further ado let's add him to the stream we've got xander woodford smith with me how you

00:00:35.120 doing brother i'm great thanks rich how are you amazing um i'm really pleased to have you here

00:00:40.580 today because uh you've got some you're probably one of the top guys in my men's community with

00:00:47.120 uh interesting shares and feedback and you're always a contributor and you do take some great

00:00:52.740 useful tips from everybody as well but um let's do like a little bit of your batman origin story

00:00:58.340 we'll spend about 10 10 maybe 15 minutes on where you've come from because then because it'll kind

00:01:02.840 of segue into the unplugging of you know the old uh beta conditioning to the unplugged alpha that you've

00:01:09.320 become as well today so lay it on us who are you how old are you where do you live right now

00:01:15.480 you know kind of give us a rundown of how you got here cool yeah so um in a second maybe i'll share

00:01:20.920 the screen rich as well just so when i'm saying some numbers it's not just make believe stuff i'll

00:01:26.020 show you some screenshots and places but um right now i'm 31 so it works out well this is episode 31

00:01:33.000 i'm 31 um i'm living in cape town south africa but basically i can live anywhere in the world

00:01:38.980 as long as i've got my laptop my uh business runs um multiple businesses and um it just depends how far

00:01:46.580 back you want me to go in terms of the origin story really in your tennis career because i mean

00:01:52.500 you were a professional athlete at one point too practically right yeah i was um so i'd been very

00:01:58.660 good as a junior like i was north of england champion got to play at wimbledon with tim henman and things

00:02:03.680 like this and then i got really ill and this is one of the things i want to talk about um as part of

00:02:08.160 like it was not dealing with other things the stress and stuff that had happened that caused me to get

00:02:14.140 ill i was out of school for like 18 months um fell behind massively all this rubbish and when i was

00:02:20.940 16 i was like no screw it i'm going after my dreams playing to win um so even though i was good

00:02:26.000 academically i moved to barcelona um went to a tennis academy made it to the professional circuit never got

00:02:32.060 that high because it's just tough with finances and other stuff but i was starting to play tournaments

00:02:37.300 made main draw a few times um and then i destroyed this ankle so went off to university in america

00:02:43.400 so first in florida and then university of south carolina number one international business school

00:02:47.700 did that did that completely terminate your you know career as a professional athlete

00:02:51.580 no it did well when i transferred schools um the coach was retiring it's a bit of a long story but

00:02:58.120 basically um i had a decision at a certain point the ncaa says i was ineligible for my last season so i

00:03:04.920 had to like decide of whether okay do i just try and finish my degree or do i try and go back on tour

00:03:10.400 after still being a bit injured and all this other stuff and one day i was just like okay no

00:03:14.520 it's time for the next chapter um this is kind of done at this point uh which was a really tough time

00:03:20.640 so i know some men like struggle with like vision and purpose and other stuff i was on a call today

00:03:25.240 with one of the community members and that was a time where for like 15 years of my life all

00:03:30.400 my whole vision was tennis player tennis player tennis player and losing that was like such a tough

00:03:36.500 depressing time um and it ended up breaking up a long distance relationship which again thank

00:03:42.500 goodness because it's not really relationship as you say but it all just came tumbling down

00:03:46.760 uh when that happened got it and how old were you when you switched gears from um you know

00:03:52.560 professional tennis to going back to school so well so i when i got injured um when i was on the

00:03:59.120 professional circuit i went and got a scholarship and so i was still playing tennis for a few years

00:04:03.800 after that it was so it was only my last year when i was about 23 because i was a year delayed going

00:04:09.020 into a university but i got through it quite quickly so i'll have been about 23 when it was

00:04:15.760 like my last year and okay we've got to find a different path in life yeah it's interesting because

00:04:20.920 um you know your plan a was professional tennis player and i remember when i was about 19 i think my

00:04:26.520 plan at the time was to be a a ref fighter pilot and harrier jump jets because it was because it was

00:04:32.100 shortly after the uh falkland war had ended and you know i went to go and apply and it's like um

00:04:38.340 no you're too tall and you can't fit the cockpit so sorry we can't have you but if you want to be a

00:04:43.760 grunt and run around with a gun and you know dodge bullets you can do that so that was a pass for me

00:04:48.480 and i had to go on to plan b but it was but it was a bit of a blow to the head i mean like

00:04:51.740 you know when you have these life-changing events i think that one of the skills that guys need to

00:04:56.440 learn and need to learn as soon as and early as possible even is how to pivot and adapt when

00:05:02.500 when the course changes for you you know when the ebbs and flow kind of move because that's what life

00:05:07.220 is you know i was actually thinking about it this morning because i usually go for a stroll

00:05:09.840 um through this wooded area in the morning just to just to kind of clear my mind and you know some

00:05:14.940 people will sit around and meditate for me that that that two kilometer strolls kind of like my

00:05:19.460 meditation i was thinking about how life just continuously throws things at you it's like you know the

00:05:24.720 seasons will change it's it's icy one day so it's slippery as hell and i'm almost wiping out the

00:05:29.080 next day it's like wet and the snow is kind of melting so i always find it's interesting to hear

00:05:33.000 other guys story when life throws a curveball and they're like all right plan a's dead let's beat it

00:05:37.520 with a stick behind the barn bury it six feet under call it a day we've got to figure out the next thing

00:05:41.560 so how did you move on to the next thing like what was the strategy after that was it like the

00:05:45.360 corporate job what did you want to do from there uh yeah it was cry and be sorry feel sorry for

00:05:51.820 myself and play a lot of online chess to try and keep that competitive spirit um up i can't i noticed

00:05:57.900 in some of your videos the chess board behind you i'm like yeah i can't i can't go near online chess

00:06:02.320 i'm so addicted to it because it brings back all those memories of like ah i need to beat something

00:06:08.520 and do something here but basically you're a competitor right yeah definitely a competitor um

00:06:15.500 yeah it's it's just such a drive for so many guys um even in a mastermind i joined recently i

00:06:22.160 um i messaged the main guy and i said we should create a little side pool where everyone competes

00:06:27.060 for like their entry of who gets the best results and stuff like that so i thrive on competition but

00:06:32.920 the way i dug myself out is i was already doing lots of stuff anyway um like i started a student run

00:06:38.520 hedge fund and other things and got to meet warren buffett because of that which was pretty cool

00:06:43.100 um and ask him a couple of questions but the i i knew i was going to try and get like a job

00:06:50.800 in either investment banking or wealth management or something even though i always knew i wanted to be

00:06:56.020 an entrepreneur i'd come from single mom household but she'd been an entrepreneur and built a businesses

00:07:01.820 same with my dad when he was around for the first few years he was an electrical contract on like

00:07:07.100 massive ships and so i'd always seen that like freedom side of things um or what should be freedom

00:07:13.220 uh if you set it up properly and so i thought maybe if i know the guys with the money later i'll be able

00:07:19.060 to get into that but all my network was in america and so even though merrill lynch and these other

00:07:24.520 companies wanting to hire me there's just no visa that they could give me so i came back to the uk

00:07:29.420 with my tail kind of between my legs and had to start again uh in november which is a terrible time

00:07:34.820 to look for a job got it so what brought you to where you are today that sounds like you're about

00:07:40.080 your mid-20s around that time yeah yes i'll be um so towards the end so 23 24 2012 so yeah 23 and a

00:07:48.580 half basically um and so what happened was if you can share my screen um now i'll bring it up ready i'll

00:07:56.400 put it up yeah i'm ready and i'll make it full screen can you see that yep you're good yeah so so

00:08:04.000 basically when i came back i was like well i can only answer job boards for so many hours of the

00:08:09.320 day and try and ask for stuff so i started like putting a book together around certain personal

00:08:14.140 growth stuff and other things and just my story like completely crazy but at least taking some action

00:08:19.100 and in doing research for that i came across this guy called dotron watkins who with all the personal

00:08:24.500 growth stuff and things i've been learning this guy just made tony robbins another look like

00:08:28.980 kindergarten so i sent an email um asking if i could you know work with them closer and basically

00:08:36.700 they kept saying no no no so here they said look it's not worth it's waste of time visiting romsey

00:08:42.120 where they were however be happy to speak on the phone and from there i just kept begging my way in

00:08:48.220 until the point that i offered to um move to the other end of the country and work for free for a month

00:08:54.480 to prove what i could do for them so i wasn't taking no for an answer and then i finally got

00:08:59.980 that job they allowed me to be part of their team and that just led to a whole host of things of being

00:09:05.220 able to they worked exclusively with like the ceos of billion dollar companies and executives of those

00:09:11.460 companies as well as training the olympic coaches and athletes um in the uk so i was getting to coach

00:09:17.540 those types of executives on the things that we'll share a little bit in a minute

00:09:21.480 um about like um their own development and their own um emotional intelligence and mindset and

00:09:29.100 strategy and leadership but also what was really fun for me obviously given my background getting to

00:09:34.100 work with the coaches and the athletes and help our athletes do better um so this is where i'm with

00:09:39.620 the paralympic shooting team and stuff like that so one thing kind of led to another um and i worked

00:09:44.820 there for three years but then they solely wanted to focus on the like big executives and i wanted to

00:09:51.000 bring the stuff out to more people so i wanted i just didn't think it was fair that charging insane

00:09:57.880 prices just to learn uh this stuff so i wanted to bring to more people so started my own business

00:10:03.520 in um would be may 2016 was there like a uh switch that flipped in your mind where you started to do

00:10:12.820 something i often call these like a frying pan of the forehead moment where it's very obvious that

00:10:17.580 you're on the right path and that you need to double down on it like was there a moment for you

00:10:21.400 where you kind of like took a smack to the forehead and said oh uh there's a big opportunity here i need

00:10:26.580 to double down on it um i just i think the big thing was the

00:10:34.080 i'd always knew i wanted to be an entrepreneur and even within that business i was being entrepreneurial

00:10:41.600 and i was saying to them like look hey like don't pay me much um but have my money tied to me building

00:10:49.200 the online side and maybe one day i'd get equity and as they just kept limiting the freedom and cutting

00:10:55.140 even though they're absolutely wonderful people they just they they kept putting blocks in place of what

00:11:00.720 i needed to do and so it got to the point where it was just i guess the frying pan was just like what

00:11:07.400 the hell am i doing here as much as i would like to be part of this group of people in this team

00:11:13.420 like i'm capable of so much more and my life like at 25 and 26 whatever i'll have been at that point

00:11:21.340 um there's just i should be so much further ahead and i know i'm capable of more and i'm getting my

00:11:28.100 wings clipped here i feel so i need to go find out on my own whether i'm just an arrogant cocky young kid

00:11:34.140 or whether i can go and actually make this happen so that was what kind of hit me and i wanted to

00:11:41.120 ask you as well because at the time because i know like in your 20s you know if you're a healthy guy

00:11:44.940 you got strong levels of you know testosterone you're of course interested in women what was your

00:11:49.420 experience at that time you know with women in your life like were you dating were you in an ltr

00:11:53.640 long distance relationship like what did you do yeah so sometimes um i was dating sometimes i almost

00:12:00.280 went a bit monk mode and then um i had a serious uh one-itis um for a girl i just as i left the

00:12:09.260 company uh met her and she was actually ideal so i kind of got her into that company and there's a

00:12:15.460 whole massive long just tragic story about her ending up with someone else that's completely

00:12:21.160 different to me that um was like a close friend of me losing like everything like losing like being

00:12:26.840 able to stay in touch with that company best friends closest friends in the neighborhood not

00:12:31.480 wanting to be like in the city i was in it was just it was just nasty i could have done with the uh

00:12:37.480 the red pill and everything i know back then was that your trauma moment was that your red pilling

00:12:43.020 moment or was it something after that i think it probably was so there's other stuff that later that

00:12:49.020 led me to you um so i was later on my travels i'd met a single mom so that kind of led me to your

00:12:55.660 channel a few years ago i'm just looking at that and again the freedom side but i would say that was

00:13:00.820 the thing that just like exploded my mind uh because before that i had like the okay i want to

00:13:08.140 meet someone long term be perfect and i need to i'm going to be this type of man to attract this type

00:13:13.320 of person and all this attract this type of man it was like just stuff that is crazy when you think

00:13:19.320 about it and that doesn't make a difference and that you think that they would want and it's not

00:13:25.380 even what they would want it's what you think you it's what you want in the girl that you think then

00:13:30.900 they're projecting onto the guy and it's just so wrong it was just huge blind spots so in essence it

00:13:36.340 was actually a really good experience because it freed me up to this whole new possibilities yeah i find

00:13:42.400 most guys at some point some some struggle with it i mean i had a i had a uh request a topic that

00:13:48.940 i published yesterday from a guy that basically flew all the way to iceland only to get dumped over

00:13:53.060 there by his one itis and he was still yeah he was still pining for for years afterwards even though

00:13:58.040 he's super successful making a couple hundred thousand dollars a year and going out with cheerleaders

00:14:01.820 and stuff but um yeah getting over that hump is a yeah it's a big big part of of uh kind of kind

00:14:08.360 of dealing with life as a guy and learning how to deal with rejection it's it's it's guys that

00:14:12.280 struggle to deal with rejection um and moving past it you know especially with women that that um

00:14:17.880 you know that can get stuck in that vicious uh cycle and go to bad places but anyway um yeah carry

00:14:23.240 on with the business uh and how you kind of started to build this new life for yourself after university

00:14:29.320 and this uh placement through the united states yeah so they um my like i said my business started may

00:14:37.580 2016 struggled the first few months was trying everything literally everything then finally

00:14:43.180 we got a breakthrough in kind of like october time i was just sharing a life planning tool uh with

00:14:48.920 someone and someone asked like oh can you do you sell that do you buy it and once that like product

00:14:54.140 fit um happened i knew what i needed to do with ads and other stuff so i just started scaling scaling

00:15:00.400 the business up basically i'm very quick so you can see there october 16 is when we had the first

00:15:06.020 products and i the end of september i'd taken out like a 30 000 pound loan just to keep myself

00:15:12.400 going and afloat because i'd invested in all these programs and pay credit cards and all sorts

00:15:17.620 and but that's when it really took off and so within that the first um the first year in essence

00:15:24.540 uh we made like almost three almost four hundred thousand dollars uh but once we'd actually hit oil

00:15:31.300 if you will in october it was almost even more than that so a year later after starting business

00:15:36.140 we're having like 13 000 days and things like that um so we're able to scale up very very quickly once

00:15:43.420 we finally found what what was working and like what we needed to do and got all the testing done

00:15:50.200 on the pages and things like that and that just kind of carried on from there building this personal

00:15:54.080 growth product helping over 20 000 people so you can see here this was back in um 2019 uh the uh

00:16:01.920 strive x product that you or was this the beginning of strive x the one that you showed me a couple

00:16:06.300 years ago yeah so the if you can see on this graph here like october through may is not strive x that's

00:16:13.400 just my dreams designer dreams dashboard like performance lab stuff getting people to perform better

00:16:19.700 control their emotions get clear on their goals like some extra like goal setting research that

00:16:24.800 kind of stuff and then in may was when we launched strive x that's when that you can see those spikes

00:16:29.900 going up so we did about 75 000 launch or something um right then and it was funny because may 12th is

00:16:38.180 when i left the uk and i was such an idiot i did the launch like i started the launch something like a week

00:16:44.920 before i left and renounced my citizenship so i ended up paying something like 30 000 pounds in taxes

00:16:51.800 that i didn't need to if i'd have done a week later um wouldn't have been a problem so that sucked but

00:16:57.440 at least we were making some good money and then so from may 17 onwards was strive x and just building

00:17:03.240 that brand and then later it transitioned into working with coaches elevate coaching and the business coach

00:17:09.120 academy got it got it yeah that brings you to today right yeah so then we um we hit a hundred thousand

00:17:17.420 dollar months and stuff like that but what's that like when you're kind of going from you know the

00:17:22.580 corporate guy or the you know starving tennis player that doesn't have the the financial means to

00:17:28.520 you know chase that uh path to like a life where you're making oh okay well you know i made thirteen

00:17:34.500 thousand dollars one day or i made a hundred thousand dollars a day like was there a moment in time where

00:17:38.680 you thought that this could never happen well i've never made a hundred thousand dollars a day that's

00:17:42.920 yet to come but a hundred thousand dollars a month yeah it was um was a nice experience um i always

00:17:49.060 had this belief in my mind that i would get to um these levels it was just so i think the and i think a lot

00:17:57.860 of guys can have that belief early on and then when they hit so many obstacles and they try so hard and

00:18:05.320 guys i know a lot of guys who do like we get the guys who don't put in the effort i know a lot of

00:18:10.380 people follow your channel they're trying really hard and they're just not getting the results they

00:18:14.520 want or deserve and i remember just one day like before things really took off just calling up like

00:18:22.240 my mom to try and like just ask about something it might be needing to borrow money or something like

00:18:27.160 that to keep going and um i just couldn't hold it in anymore it was like breaking down like i don't

00:18:33.680 know what to do um anymore so i suppose on those days like thinking about earning a hundred thousand

00:18:39.140 dollars in a month or getting people paying you like forty thousand dollars for a product like we

00:18:43.960 do now um was just insane and it's like looking back you you forget those times or almost and you now

00:18:52.540 you're just thinking okay well how do we make two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a month and stuff

00:18:56.200 like that so i think quite often you forget how far you've come but there's certainly days where it's

00:19:01.560 just like i i don't know what to do anymore i'm just so stuck and there may be guys listening to

00:19:06.540 this where they've tried everything and this is really what i want to talk about um as we get past

00:19:11.640 in a minute like well you just said i've tried everything um i don't even dare have goals or visions

00:19:18.740 anymore because i feel like i've tried everything and i don't know what to do so i've definitely had

00:19:23.700 those days so how did you abandon that um you know that doom and gloom sort of mindset because i mean

00:19:29.380 you had a mindset shift you had an identity re-engineering um you know you built multiple

00:19:35.100 online businesses you completely revamped your dating life we're not going to talk about that in

00:19:39.640 significant detail but i can promise you guys based on the posts that i've seen in the community for

00:19:44.820 the last couple years zander has some incredible freaking receipts but uh um yeah talk about those

00:19:51.460 throat you know sorry those four points of mindset identity re-engineering building the online

00:19:56.500 business and the shift in your dating life from i mean you went from horrible crippling one-itis to

00:20:02.700 you're pretty much spoiled for choice with everything that you do um yeah and it was really just getting

00:20:09.300 back to um actually applying the tools i'd like be i knew and i'd been learning and actually applying

00:20:16.860 them to myself and then understanding that if i was going to make achieve these goals i had to have a

00:20:23.660 different level of understanding of what was in my blind spots of like okay i feel like i'm copying

00:20:29.060 this person's program or process or other stuff but i'm not getting the results either i can think oh

00:20:37.120 i'm so special that i'm the only person it doesn't work for or i can see what i am actually missing

00:20:44.420 and screw this i i know i deserve a life and i'm gonna make a life whether i deserve it or not i'm

00:20:53.000 gonna make a life and carve my way to be the way i want and it is just a pursuit of that um that goal

00:21:01.340 and you kind of mentioned that competitiveness i feel like it's almost a competitiveness with

00:21:07.000 yourself you're like sometimes when you when you compete on the tennis court or the chess board you get

00:21:12.340 this sense of like oh i'm i'm so much better than you i'm going to show you exactly how it is and i

00:21:16.740 feel a lot of guys and this is how i felt just feel as though i was i should be so much more and so it was

00:21:27.060 consistently thinking that and then deciding that okay i'm not going to stay where i am i'm not going

00:21:33.640 to accept mediocrity i need to actually look at what i'm missing because clearly something's going on i'm

00:21:40.840 not so special that it can't work for me when it's working for loads of other people so i need to

00:21:45.960 figure out what is missing for me um and how i move forward from there okay and how did you move into

00:21:52.320 that how did you figure that part out yeah so it was actually just learning a lot and looking at

00:21:58.820 a lot of the things i've done at complete coherence and then what i built after that was actually

00:22:04.700 starting to dive deeper so i don't know whether oh let me these are just some of the travel bits

00:22:09.500 oh here hang on let me throw the the screens back up there you go oh i didn't even know the

00:22:14.580 screens were off there you go let me keep oh there we go

00:22:17.720 then you've done a tedx talk yeah i did a tedx talk they messed up the audio so i never published

00:22:26.600 it i've got the raw form i tried to do like a dubbing voiceover but it was about what can happen

00:22:31.940 when you don't uh when you struggle to achieve your goals whether you let it deter you or whether you

00:22:37.420 develop forward and i made some like comments about how you um how you have to develop a community

00:22:43.420 that's sunny uh tedx talk uh dj's the other one i don't know if you remember him from a few years

00:22:47.720 ago oh cool yeah yeah so i did that when i was in serbia i was asked to speak there i was just

00:22:53.220 visiting a co-living space same when i was i was asked to speak at the business for good conference

00:22:57.760 in miami and then the top left one um is in the uk at the entrepreneurs network conference

00:23:03.200 how is entrepreneurs network different from entrepreneurs organization because that was

00:23:07.680 an organization that i spent a lot of time in i'm just curious for myself on that actually

00:23:10.860 it's probably just a british version started by a guy um called james sinclair who's is absolutely

00:23:17.840 hilarious he used to be like a party clown but he's actually an amazing businessman and he wanted to

00:23:22.920 bring more people um like entrepreneurs together so it's probably just a new version of that got it

00:23:29.120 okay go ahead yeah um yeah so let me skip all this this was the traveling we can skip over this

00:23:34.480 right yeah yeah cool yes that's where i'm now cape town so the question was around like this mindset

00:23:41.640 body um like how did i transform this mindset body women money women stuff so is it okay if i go

00:23:49.320 into an exercise with the guys now rich to kind of show them what happened for me yeah is this

00:23:53.500 something that they can follow along with and do themselves or yeah exactly i thought i'd like to try

00:23:58.460 and do that if that's okay fire away go ahead it's all yours okay cool so um anybody let me see if i

00:24:05.120 can watch the chat as well as we're doing this but basically guys i'll keep an eye on the chat for you

00:24:09.760 so if there's a question that pops up then i can just stick it up on the screen like that

00:24:12.980 yeah so this is what i did but i didn't do this with the understanding i have now so this is the

00:24:19.040 improved version if you will and this is the thing when we teach our business coaches even though we

00:24:24.220 teach them like hundreds of different things this is always what they come back is like the

00:24:28.420 most useful in essence now i've changed it to be specific for guys but if you think about guys

00:24:34.040 and what they want to achieve or what they need in life there's kind of four quadrants you've got

00:24:39.400 mindset you've got body and physical goals you've got your money and finance life and then you've got

00:24:44.420 your women dating sex life okay so hopefully the chat kind of agrees that yeah you've got hobbies and

00:24:50.100 other stuff outside of that but if you're missing any one of these like life can suck a little bit

00:24:54.580 you've got plenty of money but you can't get any women so that's a little bit if you've got you know

00:24:58.400 women but you don't have your health or if you feel like you don't have purpose then that you know so

00:25:03.300 these are i think the main ones in my view now i'm gonna give these different names so the mindset

00:25:10.980 is psychology body is physical money is environment and women is relationships i don't want to get into

00:25:16.560 all the boring academic stuff behind it but this is based on the work of ken wilber and he calls them

00:25:21.860 the um individual interior that's the mindset he calls the body the individual exterior the money

00:25:29.620 side the um the collective exterior and the relationship side the uh collective interior

00:25:39.080 so basically we just found that these words come up over and over again in different languages so it's a

00:25:44.960 good way to view reality of like what needs to be there so this is an exercise you can do to figure

00:25:51.740 out maybe where your blind spots are like what was missing for me so the first thing is i just want

00:25:56.620 you to pick a goal so if you look at those four quadrants just decide a goal and we're not going to go

00:26:02.060 into like the keys of goal setting but quickly just to help you like make sure it's like present tense

00:26:09.300 specific and positive focus so you don't be like i want to stop smoking um don't make it a negative

00:26:18.180 make it a positive so it might be i um have an online business that earns ten thousand dollars a

00:26:24.340 month okay or i have a perfect like one point v taper golden ratio 1.618 whatever you want i weigh 180

00:26:32.900 pounds just pick a goal that's the first step then quickly we'll give you like a minute to do this and

00:26:38.720 rich and i'll talk as you do it list out everything you need to achieve that goal so this is where i was

00:26:44.900 so start doing that now so i thought felt i was doing absolutely everything to build my businesses

00:26:51.420 felt like i was trying to be the perfect guy to attract the right women and stuff like that and

00:26:56.060 just not getting the results i want and so i want you to take that goal and just list it all out

00:27:00.960 so i'll give a little bit of help as an example you can do it for your goal but just while people

00:27:07.640 have time to do it so let's say you wanted to build a ten thousand dollar a month business it's what

00:27:12.340 a lot of people who um i've worked in the past want to do then maybe you need an online sales

00:27:19.180 funnel okay that's what most people talk about maybe you think you need a product maybe you know

00:27:23.520 you're going to need some level of accounting software maybe you think you're going to need

00:27:27.620 a community of some kind so list all that out rich what's going on in the comments um well we got

00:27:35.600 some people saying gold looks good exactly um you know they're just kind of agreeing with it

00:27:39.860 you'll probably find a lot we'll just pause or maybe be watching the rerun anyway okay so probably

00:27:45.500 just let them pause it right down their notes then they can just resume perfect guys so if you're

00:27:49.600 watching this later pause it take as long as you want to do it and then we're just going to do the

00:27:53.400 third step and this is the final step of it but hopefully we'll bring some things to light

00:27:57.240 now what you what you want to do is you want to categorize your list into the quadrants so the

00:28:03.820 psychology physical so i'm going to show you so let's say to build the ten thousand dollar a month

00:28:08.740 online business so what most people happen and let's say yours was a fitness goal you may have

00:28:15.380 certain things like okay i need workouts i need a nutrition plan so just choose which one it relates

00:28:21.340 to most so if it's for example the build the ten thousand dollar per month online business

00:28:26.400 things like a scalable training product and website they're quite physical tangible things

00:28:32.380 something like a high converting sales funnel you could argue that's in the physical quadrant but

00:28:37.180 really you can't have a high converting one if it doesn't take into account what everyone else is

00:28:42.300 doing same with your unique offer and then i can engage community for example you that involves other

00:28:48.900 people so you can see this takes a bit of practice but you can start to separate out the different

00:28:55.140 things and what you may find is is that you've got most of your things in one quadrant okay and this is

00:29:02.400 what a lot of online training programs do which is what we'll get to in a second um i don't know if

00:29:08.000 you want to comment in the chat whether you add most in one particular quadrant or if you've got any

00:29:12.280 questions about it uh no question showing up just some comments here jeff says women in mindset for me

00:29:17.300 goal of refocusing priorities for me so um yeah you'll probably find that that you're going to hover in a

00:29:22.860 certain area i mean probably around money and women for the most part i think guys especially if

00:29:27.440 they've got their heads screwed on right yeah this is slightly um i'm trying to go past the money

00:29:33.280 and women i was just trying to show those four of how they relate to these four so now you could have

00:29:38.480 a specific woman goal and now we're using these four quadrants again so basically my point is most of the

00:29:44.300 time you're missing one quadrant so let's say you've missed the psychology of building the business you're

00:29:49.940 going to need a ton of focus you're going to need a ton of energy and if you haven't considered those

00:29:53.800 things and this is what most online programs don't consider they never even teach people who've never

00:29:59.900 been entrepreneurs before how to have the level of focus and dedication and energy that they need to

00:30:05.000 build that maybe you missed good accounting in the physical side business process affiliates

00:30:10.040 great branding and so what you have to do is you have to start figuring out where the quadrants are

00:30:17.080 that you're missing in essence because otherwise it's like a chair with three legs you know it's

00:30:24.960 unstable the goal you're trying to achieve or it's like a car with a flat tire is you're just going

00:30:31.340 to move slowly because you're always going to be fighting it so maybe i should actually jump ahead to

00:30:35.960 some some examples of this rich before i share the next bit yeah i love how prepared you are for this

00:30:43.180 man i um you know i was expecting us just kind of chop up some ideas and talk about your unplugging

00:30:48.240 you know from your we can do that conditions back over to the alpha side of thing and uh no no no i want

00:30:54.600 you to stay on this because this is because this is amazing like i love the way that you organize stuff

00:30:58.480 right okay cool so guys let's let's actually take it i was going to show you something else first

00:31:03.320 um which i think will really help break this down but i want to kind of keep that away from

00:31:07.520 you until i don't want to give you the answer ahead of the time so this can unfold properly so let's say

00:31:12.720 your ideal body this quadrant approach right so let's say you decide a cutting or bulking program

00:31:17.640 and you buy it um like athlean x or somebody like that and that program teaches people how to

00:31:23.720 lose fat gain muscle get that perfect v taper but they do it from a diet mentality side so i know

00:31:30.960 someone who's a leader in the manosphere struggled to lose weight for ages and they got

00:31:34.580 real results with i think it's called new more something which is all focused on the diet

00:31:39.920 mentality they hardly touch nutrition or anything so they're all focused there so you buy that program

00:31:45.240 you're all excited but and you're learning all this new stuff about diet mentality so you're getting

00:31:49.800 your psychological quadrant fixed but then what happens if you are surrounded by like the family's got

00:31:56.300 bad foods and so you're surrounded by them all the time so your environment sucks you know

00:32:02.300 these these are always talked about in different ways but no one never really puts them together

00:32:06.760 about why they're all important together so your environment quadrant isn't stabilized then let's say

00:32:12.560 you start doing fasting or you do some other stuff and now you're getting all these dopamine rushes or at

00:32:19.240 the same time you decide to quit watching tv because you make all these habits and where you used to get

00:32:23.780 your dopamine rush your brain's now going no we need dopamine get something sugary so you've got all

00:32:29.060 these neurological cravings or that you're scared of others seeing you fail because you've tried this

00:32:34.080 before so you're unstable in the relation in the relationship with others quadrant so you can see how

00:32:40.280 this new program that you're now telling you it's not it's your fault that you failed because everyone

00:32:47.400 else got results not really your fault you've got all these other areas the program never covered

00:32:52.140 to help you actually get what you needed and what often happens is the program creator didn't do this

00:32:57.800 deliberately they just had a shift in all four quadrants finally that they hit a brick wall and

00:33:04.320 they finally got all of those other things but they latched on to one particular aspect making the

00:33:09.820 change and that ends up being a chair with three legs it's a car with a flat tire so you'll either get

00:33:14.860 no change at all or it'll not last it'll come tumbling down because you'll just grind through it for a few

00:33:19.940 months so for the change just to kind of chime in here for a second just to put it in perspective

00:33:25.080 i see a lot of guys um on youtube especially in the pre-roll ads i've i've seen these ads run on

00:33:31.860 my channel and other channels sometimes it's like wingman women selling uh courses sometimes it's like

00:33:38.220 pickup artists selling hey you know if you regurgitate these three lines or this one special

00:33:42.980 text you know you're gonna get her to come over and boink your brains out in 15 minutes um the thing

00:33:48.960 you gotta understand about all these things is you know you can have the perfect delivery system the

00:33:56.320 perfect regurgitate these lines and follow up with this text and after she does this and do that

00:34:02.060 and i'm not a big fan of these you know prescriptive a b c d e i'm more a fan of the mindset component

00:34:10.120 which is why i really like the way that you've structured this here as an example because like

00:34:14.520 somebody pointed out earlier this will work for pretty much everything in your life but

00:34:18.400 yeah uh a three-legged chair is utterly useless and that's what a memorize these three lines in

00:34:25.020 these four four text program is really all about um if you haven't got your you know your mindset

00:34:30.440 your physical you know your environment all the other stuff haven't got all your ducks lined up

00:34:34.980 it's all going to collapse on itself and it's no surprise why some guys don't get good results when

00:34:39.420 they're buying these hey get my wingman course or some shit like that right yeah exactly

00:34:44.360 and i'll i'll touch on i want to unpack the manosphere a bit about where guys are focused on

00:34:50.340 not just one quadrant but even a subsection of one quadrant maybe we should go to that now or i can

00:34:54.920 just show a few more examples yeah which whatever he decides best you know we got uh we got another

00:35:02.200 half an hour to go so cool i'll just go quickly through this let's say the build a business one

00:35:06.260 because a lot of guys i've worked with or even when um i didn't used to work with guys when it was

00:35:11.020 just a full personal growth brand a lot of people wanted to start their own business so let's say

00:35:15.420 you buy a business startup or business growth program course from like sam ovens alex becker

00:35:20.140 somebody like that so they give you all the business growth ideas and what to do brilliant you're all

00:35:25.420 excited you've got all this stuff but then you hit these limiting beliefs around money that limit your

00:35:30.440 success so now you maybe you think you don't deserve money or that money or wealthy people are bad

00:35:35.660 so that's an obstacle in your psychological quadrant you also got low energy so you struggle

00:35:40.800 to motivate yourself for the challenges ahead because you're so tired that's a physical quadrant

00:35:45.080 thing let's say you feel that if you do get wealthy and successful you'll lose your family and friends

00:35:50.640 because you'll be more successful than them then now you've got a problem there or maybe if you've got

00:35:54.780 a partner you feel guilty for working on your business when you should be spending time with them

00:36:00.560 should be being the belief you created in your mind so you again you've got this great course

00:36:07.680 and you're not getting results and you're blaming yourself but it's not really completely your fault

00:36:13.400 when you didn't know all this other stuff they just told you oh this is all you needed to do

00:36:16.960 when actually there's quite a few different things you have to get in place that made the shift so maybe

00:36:22.760 someone else who's selling that business growth course they finally just said they hit such a brick

00:36:27.280 wall maybe they were like me where they were 30 000 pound taking out loans of 30 000 pounds and they

00:36:32.440 said i don't even care what the facebook comment says i need to advertise and i need to earn some damn

00:36:37.440 money so i'm getting over that limiting belief they just did that but they don't put that in the course

00:36:41.880 because they think it's how they structured the image on the facebook ad okay so this is where it

00:36:47.360 causes massive problems it's a car with three flat tires it'll slow you down another one really fast

00:36:55.000 improve self-confidence so psychological quadrant that's where you want you want to build better

00:36:59.820 beliefs but what happens if you've got a fight or flight response triggered too easily then you've

00:37:04.600 got a problem in the physical quadrant because you're feeling anxious or high alert all the time what if

00:37:09.860 you've got an angry boss and that's putting you down or always putting you on edge in the job you're in

00:37:14.740 it causes and these problems and destabilizes it all the time because all the quadrants are going to affect

00:37:21.340 each other okay so hopefully you can see now how most mainstream products that oversimplify things

00:37:28.860 and the only reason i want to share this is a lot of guys get into so much guilt and blame they're not

00:37:33.160 where they want to be and yeah we probably can all do more but it's also not entirely your fault

00:37:39.600 because just and it's not the program creators fault they just don't know this stuff i was very unique

00:37:45.740 to get an insight like peek behind the doors of working in this leadership development company

00:37:50.880 that really helped them cover this so i just thought it would be useful to share that stuff

00:37:55.920 and you may have experienced that in the past um have that i don't know in the comments if anyone's

00:38:02.520 done that you know maybe you've spent thousands on courses and self-development or marketing stuff or

00:38:07.200 business stuff and something just keeps holding you back or you haven't got the results that you really

00:38:11.780 want um i know you deserve yeah um can you can you take us over to the manosphere stuff so that it

00:38:18.800 kind of yeah i'm really excited strongly with these guys because i know that they're more more

00:38:24.900 familiar with that than they are anything else for the most part yeah i'm super excited to share this

00:38:29.960 um so this is something i just created recently to break this concept down more so we've obviously

00:38:35.300 got the manosphere just for the time being i want to replace it with uh the manos square so

00:38:41.500 if we have these four quadrants that hopefully we can all agree maybe we should have got more

00:38:47.400 agreement i can't see the chat while i'm managing screens and all sorts hopefully we can all agree

00:38:51.780 these are the like four really important pillars for men okay yeah okay good rich we'll use you as the

00:38:59.620 the king and leader and you can verify it all to whether i'm talking nonsense or not and so basically

00:39:05.420 if we now um so we've got psychology physical relationship environment but now let's dive a

00:39:11.540 little bit deeper we can break mindset down into that like even further so if we go into like

00:39:19.480 the psychology side of mindset so we've gone even deeper we could look at things like mindfulness

00:39:25.760 emotional intelligence other stuff on the physical side of mindset if that makes sense it can get a

00:39:30.480 little tricky imagine this you've got kind of self-image on the relationship with other side of

00:39:35.020 mindset you've got tribe on the environment and like what it means to be part of something bigger

00:39:40.300 in the mindset you've got kind of purpose and meaning so we can break it down further on the body stuff

00:39:46.100 we've got performance health longevity aesthetics so you can see how aesthetics is part of the body

00:39:52.280 quadrant but it kind of relates to the relationship with other side because the aesthetics is what you

00:39:58.740 want to be to attract the women that you want if that makes sense so that quadrant there i don't know

00:40:05.520 if you can see my mouse of body kind of relates to the relationship with other side here longevity

00:40:11.680 kind of relates to you surviving in your environment that kind of thing same with money we can break it

00:40:16.800 down into okay well you've got your expenses your budget you know biggest expenses tax

00:40:20.560 probably for most people you've got your income you've got your investments you've got your debt

00:40:25.200 you've got and then in the woman quadrant you've got things that people talk about you've got your

00:40:29.640 frame you've got game that you need to be able to do you've got being able to actually date and get

00:40:33.760 to sex you've got the red pill smv type stuff in here as well so you can see the red pillar stuff is in

00:40:40.840 the environment section of the woman part if that makes sense um because they're helping you

00:40:46.820 understand and navigate the the environment and what's happening there so this is where it might

00:40:54.380 start to make more sense and why we struggle so if we take the mindset quadrant now obviously for each

00:41:01.200 quadrant there is so many different people you can choose from i've just chosen some very well-known

00:41:05.960 ones and who i consider very very like good in many ways at what they do um so for example the

00:41:13.520 mindfulness you've got people like sam harris for the tribe section obviously we've got our very um

00:41:18.600 richard cooper who's building you know the one percent the entrepreneurs in cars and everything

00:41:22.700 like that and even though like many of these guys will do multiple things so rich talks about business

00:41:28.120 and all this other stuff i've just tried to give the ones where they are like the top dog

00:41:32.180 in in essence um or at least what they focus on the most so lewis ho's example wrote a book about

00:41:39.560 the mask of masculinity and whether you think that it's good or not his focus is the self-image

00:41:45.840 side of things in that book a lot jordan peterson like purpose and meaning on the body side so the

00:41:53.040 performance you've got people like tim ferris health dr michael gregor create nutrition facts.org

00:41:58.720 ben greenfield on longevity aesthetics you've got so many you've got athleanx you've got all the

00:42:04.660 fitness people i just had to choose somebody but i'm just trying to show you as an example you go and

00:42:10.780 buy jeff cavalier's athleanx program to learn how to build like build the body you want and it's a small

00:42:17.600 section of one core pillar that isn't taking into consideration everything you want as a man that

00:42:24.400 doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all because it's great stuff you should just go in there with

00:42:29.320 realizing you need to support it with the other quadrants so if we look at the money one on the

00:42:35.680 expenses we've got people like andrew henderson of nomad capitalist seven people on taxes alex becker

00:42:41.340 teaching about online programs and doing that graham stefan on investments dave ramsey debt

00:42:46.960 and budgeting and all that kind of good stuff and then the women's side you've got guys like black

00:42:52.340 dragon caleb jones on the sex dating and again caleb talks about all kinds of stuff

00:42:57.600 and um business and all sorts but he's brilliant at that kind of section i'm just showing you some

00:43:02.820 examples you've got rollo on the red pill paul benjamin on the frame thing who's part of the one

00:43:08.840 percent who's absolutely fantastic john somes i also had myron gains down there in the game section i

00:43:15.040 didn't know where to put everybody so there's lots of other people and choose your favorite one

00:43:18.780 and some of them include multiple mod multiple quadrants but some are very focused and niched as well

00:43:25.200 but the point is is you need to realize that if you're going to get to where you want that you

00:43:32.320 have to take like a full quadrant approach and hopefully what you we did at the start the exercise

00:43:39.060 you saw that there are blind spots to what you're doing and so it's really really important to be able

00:43:46.860 to see that and realize that that's what you're going to need to do in order to get to where you want

00:43:52.480 to be um otherwise it's the chair with three legs it's the car with three flat tires like we've been

00:43:58.920 saying um rich sorry i feel like i've got too excited that's great i mean basically there's four

00:44:06.140 quadrants but there's 16 in total because each quadrant should include about four themselves so

00:44:10.900 you're never going to get everything you want from i mean i'm never going to give you everything

00:44:15.100 that you want right like people sometimes ask me to talk about investments and i'll be honest with you

00:44:19.180 i've made a lot of money i've lost some money too um you know so there's certain areas that i won't

00:44:23.700 even touch on so yeah i think that's a good way to sort of illustrate that yeah now nothing but this

00:44:29.520 is all fractal so you could now go into the income one and pick out four more things you have to do

00:44:35.020 there it just keeps going deeper and deeper so at some point you've got to stop but at least this

00:44:40.040 gives you the okay i need to be covering all my bases if i want to get to uh where i want to go

00:44:46.440 to oops sorry one second some that's just some levels to see how you're doing where you're on track

00:44:51.940 but yeah you have to you have to at least understand so you could go deeper and deeper

00:44:57.440 um so that's one thing oh sorry you can stop the share i think for a bit

00:45:02.780 um okay so we got like 15 minutes left what else do we need to cover here that we haven't talked

00:45:09.260 about yet so far with this unplugging because i mean like you've you've you've put this all

00:45:14.660 together because i know that you've you've been working on structuring a course to guide guys in

00:45:20.680 our community um we talked about this a few weeks ago and rather than doing this is a private

00:45:26.200 learning event i said let's you know let's put it on the outside and put it on the plane the win

00:45:30.440 series because it really ties into the notion of what you've done yourself and how you've unplugged

00:45:35.220 yourself and how you're building out you know that next version um what else do you guys need to know

00:45:40.360 kind of like leading up to this uh you know performance changes reinvention the identity re-engineering

00:45:47.500 that we might not have hit on yet yeah well if i can show that level thing um if you can just share

00:45:52.960 the screen for a thing this is the last last slides i'll promise i'm sorry i'm geeking out

00:45:57.320 about the slides i got the stream yard here in the green room so you're gonna have to switch over to

00:46:01.680 the next page and i'll plop it in okay uh there you go can you see it uh yeah the alpha transformation

00:46:09.460 ladder okay go yes so this is just kind of a a simpler version of what's called the personal

00:46:14.700 transformation model which is based on like consciousness development and other stuff

00:46:19.140 uh but it's just a a way that i've been using with the men to understand like where you are in

00:46:25.940 your journey so obviously if before like i understood red pill or anything or um just these

00:46:33.200 and you can be at different levels in different quadrants in essence so some guys might be doing

00:46:38.300 great on the business side but like be completely blue pilled so the first level is obviously you're

00:46:43.680 just completely oblivious to what needs to happen like not knowing things can be different or better

00:46:49.780 in any way you're just the what do you call it rich the plow horse um like in the relationships

00:46:55.500 one woman like i was like okay i'm gonna try and look for one woman stay with her for 80 years i'm gonna

00:47:03.560 be the perfect guy in every way for her and provide for her and this it's like you don't even know

00:47:08.320 there's a whole different world out there then you start to get your eyes open so start to see that

00:47:13.680 there's other possibilities then what often happens when you start trying to transform and change your

00:47:18.360 identity you get a little bit overwhelmed you get you set too many goals so this thing i just shared

00:47:24.660 with you the 16 boxes like one thing a guy might go and do who's let's say they're new to the red pill

00:47:31.540 they found your channel and then they come watch this video they might go and try and set

00:47:34.780 like okay i'm gonna have 16 goals one for each area and they're gonna completely just kill themselves

00:47:40.700 and they're not know what to do next they're not gonna make any good progress in any of it and feel

00:47:45.320 completely paralyzed um so that doesn't work and now lots of guys who i speak to end up that way so

00:47:51.640 you have to be able to narrow your focus you still want it to be holistic if you can but you can't you

00:47:58.520 don't want to overwhelm yourself with it then you might start doing well in one area so some guys do

00:48:03.880 really well in business but their game side of things and their dating life is completely screwed

00:48:08.880 or the other side you get these pickup artists who have got like can go and get any girl but their

00:48:15.660 finances are an absolute mess so as you're transforming if you want to be the complete

00:48:22.080 like whole package alpha not to be able to attract and get your smv up i'm not talking about this be the

00:48:28.880 whole package and the six sixes i'm talking about for you to have an awesome effing life

00:48:34.580 okay so don't i'm not talking about it of like oh be in balance and have the money and the looks and

00:48:40.300 the other stuff to be able to do that like just have the money to be able to live how you want the

00:48:45.120 business have the freedom how you want and if one of the things you want is to attract any girl you

00:48:49.160 want then that's the bonus of all of it um and then you know you kind of on track you know where

00:48:55.060 you're going how to get there making progress fast you just need to keep going so you've got clarity

00:48:58.800 on the goals maybe the five year three year one year plan you know the best way to do it it's built

00:49:03.880 in holistically so you're not sacrificing your health while building your business and then at

00:49:08.700 the top level you just you love your life in all aspects so i'd be curious for the guys watching this

00:49:13.700 either now or later which level they think they're at for the four quadrants um yeah like you might be in

00:49:21.800 a women life like two years ago in the women life i was overwhelmed i was learning all this new stuff

00:49:27.820 about multiple relationships and things like that um and now i would say it's like a six it's like a

00:49:36.380 seven compared to how it used to be but yeah i didn't even know what was possible yeah i totally feel

00:49:42.680 you because it's like i feel like you know i'm in the top level of this uh transformation ladder myself

00:49:47.860 and i know that there was a place in time where i was you know closer towards the bottom and there

00:49:53.040 was a lot of work between then and now that got me there um you got a question here from kevin in

00:49:59.080 the channel membership he says do you focus on one quadrant at a time or should you go through each

00:50:04.060 quadrant list it all out then focus on whatever you feel is worse or try to tackle the easiest

00:50:08.640 fixes and work up so there's a few questions in there so kind of kind of deal with those questions

00:50:13.760 one at a time looks like there's three questions in there yeah i'll turn off the screen on turn off

00:50:18.300 the screen rich so i can see the quiet and then do you focus on one quadrant at a time or should you go

00:50:24.940 through each quadrant list it all out then focus whichever you feel is worst or try and tackle the

00:50:30.280 easiest fixes and work up so kevin i think by your question it kind of depends on whether you're talking

00:50:36.420 about whether you're doing like your holistic life goal setting or whether you're doing the quadrant

00:50:41.720 approach to a specific goal so if you're doing like okay what do i want my life to be like five

00:50:47.660 years from now then you don't want to just set a woman quadrant otherwise you'll end up like the

00:50:52.660 pickup artist guys broke you got laid a lot but you're now broke you know or something like that

00:50:57.220 and i'm not saying all the pickup guys like that but for your five-year three-year one-year plan

00:51:02.020 you want to do all areas and then you got to make sure they integrate together

00:51:06.560 um you know about how you feel um about how your money is and how your body is and all that stuff

00:51:13.940 and what some quadrants might not be important to you which is fine like there's different levels you

00:51:20.500 don't have to say right okay i want to look like jeff cavalier in the body goal no you might just want

00:51:27.060 you might just want to lose a bit of weight or stuff like that so just pick your ideal for each of the

00:51:31.880 areas um don't have too many goals but then once you actually get a goal so let's say you've picked

00:51:38.740 out the i want to have a million dollars in savings as a goal um so that's obviously in your money

00:51:46.240 quadrant when you were setting your whole life plan then apply the four quadrants that's okay what am i

00:51:51.280 going to need to do right well i'm going to have to have discipline in the psychological quadrant

00:51:55.120 um i'm going to have to have an ink a clear income source um probably a scalable one with business

00:52:03.220 if you want to and it depending on your time frame you're probably going to have to have an investment

00:52:07.100 vehicle in the environment section relationship with others you might need a financial planner

00:52:11.320 so then you can go through and look at all the things you need and find the blind spots

00:52:15.900 there so hopefully that makes sense there let's see the other list it out then focus on whichever you

00:52:21.640 feel is worse do you think that guys should be working on their weaknesses because one of the

00:52:27.620 notions that i've come across is a lot of people and even corporations will spend a lot of time and

00:52:32.560 resources trying to improve somebody's weaknesses and what what i find usually happens at the end of

00:52:38.200 the day is you just end up with somebody with really strong weaknesses yeah i i don't really think

00:52:44.020 i think you have to um make sure you cover the blind spots that would hold you back but i don't think

00:52:50.260 you need to focus on like weaknesses um i would be more in your camp rich of focus on the strengths

00:52:59.020 yeah the roi is far higher in my view yeah um he's got a he's got a follow-up here uh he says i feel

00:53:06.380 like uh it may be like paying off debt start start with the lowest and pay it off then work like a

00:53:11.240 snowball effect so i want to talk to that point for just a minute because that's a dave ramsey trope with

00:53:17.000 his snowball effect sort of program and i'm not a fan of it in fact i think it sucks to be honest

00:53:21.400 with you um but again you know from my experience in the world that i come from like i worked in

00:53:27.380 credit collections for 10 years you know i was a bill collector at one point worked my way all the

00:53:31.720 way up to a manager so um i've seen all the programs that are out there there's bankruptcy there's uh

00:53:37.460 non-profit credit counseling for-profit credit counseling there's people who try to get

00:53:40.680 consolidation loans there's programs that ramsey offers like a snowball effect and i can tell you

00:53:45.180 without shadow of a doubt the best way to tackle your debt is to settle it um the company that i

00:53:51.340 left a couple years ago that i planned my exit from that my brother now runs total debtfreedom.ca

00:53:56.180 they still do it so if you're in canada you can hire that company to do it for you alternatively i

00:54:01.300 wrote a book in 2012 on how to do it yourself um there is nothing in it for you to keep throwing

00:54:07.140 interest payments principal payments at something the bank's already written off their books it doesn't

00:54:11.640 improve your credit rating it just costs you more money the best way for you to tackle your debt is

00:54:15.620 to settle it so the books on amazon is a kindle it's less than 10 bucks grab it you can train yourself to

00:54:20.960 do it yourself it takes it takes some time and some work and you'll need to follow the instructions but

00:54:25.680 that is the cheat codes to getting out of debt as fast as possible without screwing up your credit

00:54:29.880 i can tell you that right now um did we miss anything on that other question i think there was

00:54:36.860 yeah i just wanted to go i see what kevin's saying a bit more now um i actually think there's almost a

00:54:42.420 sequence to the quadrant a little bit kevin like i don't think you're going to be able to go and fix

00:54:46.660 your um like woman life or money life if your mindset is completely like or even your body life if

00:54:54.320 the mindset is completely screwed you know so you'd probably have to start with mindset and like

00:54:58.480 mindset probably comes to everything else and then foundational as rich and other people have talked

00:55:04.800 about um i think at certain conferences is like okay well you kind of need to have your body in

00:55:10.980 place if you can't do the like the things and you're committed to and you've got low energy then

00:55:16.060 how are you ever going to like build a business or have time or have the aesthetics to get the women

00:55:21.080 so maybe it is like you say the um you find the easiest first and normally the not the easiest but

00:55:28.820 it's impossible to do the other ones if you haven't got the sequence right so it kind of becomes the

00:55:33.220 easiest to fix the mindset if that makes sense yeah um sounds sounds pretty clear to my end anyway

00:55:39.680 um oh by the um sorry the question kevin followed up on was appreciate the information on debt relief

00:55:46.120 um the name of the book is uh well don't even search the name of the book because it's a stupid

00:55:50.700 title honestly i wrote it like eight or nine years ago um just go to amazon look up my existing book and

00:55:56.440 then click the author and then go to my other ones and there's a white cover i think the title is

00:56:00.780 enough is enough the diy debt settlement guide that your credit card companies don't want you to know

00:56:05.360 about so if you just search either diy debt settlement on amazon or just search for my author

00:56:10.480 name you should find it um it's basically what my company does that i set up in 2003 it's just hey

00:56:17.260 you know here's a diy guy because i know people like to do things themselves and try to tackle stuff

00:56:21.620 that way um we're coming up on the hour i have to get ready for another call i know you're a busy guy so

00:56:26.940 i mean we've dropped a lot here i know that you've uh put the course together you got a bunch of guys

00:56:31.500 already enrolled from the one percent um and you're getting started with them uh let me grab the link

00:56:36.960 for it in case anybody is interested in so the the program that you've built around uh basically

00:56:42.680 designing your own life so it's it's a it's a re-engineer your life sort of thing like you've

00:56:48.820 taken all the lessons that you've learned for yourself and you've put it in a step-by-step sort of manual

00:56:52.780 yeah i haven't even put it into a manual yet the key with this program is that it's the first time

00:56:58.920 i've offered this in like three years just because because i'm working with guys um yeah i didn't want

00:57:05.700 to do the pre-built like the guys are in the program they get some of my old pre-built for like that i

00:57:10.660 built for strive and for some of my business certification programs but the key part is i actually

00:57:16.120 want to mentor work directly with guys and like this and so we look at the quadrants and say

00:57:21.440 okay let's look at what you need and so it's more of a mentor program um where we get on weekly calls

00:57:29.260 and they they get the bits that they need from like what i've done to build my like online dating

00:57:35.240 profile or manage my multiple relationships or to grow my investments or scale their business

00:57:40.640 and so it's much more hands-on than templated um it may become templated in the future

00:57:48.100 uh but for right now i will actually want to work and answer questions directly with the people who

00:57:54.920 are interested in you know getting some of the results i've managed to achieve for myself

00:57:58.660 that's that's awesome that's that's very labor intensive so uh cool here i'll grab the link and

00:58:04.140 i'll drop it in the chat i got one more super chat i gotta grab here real quick before we go

00:58:08.020 um if you want to get zander's stuff the link is right there i'll also pin it in the description

00:58:13.460 and the top comment uh b l t o where are you i'm a rapper but feel like that feel that lifestyle is

00:58:20.460 mostly based on impressing people and i don't want to let that go should i keep taking the red pill

00:58:24.740 based on impressing people so the first so i mean the first thing that stands out to me on that

00:58:41.780 question is impressing people and i mean i'm at the point of my life in my you know mid to late 40s now

00:58:49.180 anyway where i could give a f about impressing people either you like me or don't it doesn't

00:58:52.780 matter to me like your opinion of me does not matter and honestly the sooner that you adopt that

00:58:56.900 view on yourself and life in my estimation anyway is the best way to go about it because you spend

00:59:03.500 far more time on yourself and on your purpose and chasing excellence and worry a lot less what other

00:59:07.720 people think of you and when you start to realize yourself how little you think of others you know

00:59:12.440 to begin with you start to realize that others spend very little time thinking about you so um yeah

00:59:17.760 chase excellence not women keep taking the red pill uh there's no finer way to understand the

00:59:23.660 reality of the world in my view so yes i would i would definitely um you know make sure that you

00:59:28.920 not just take it but act it live it make sure that with every interaction you have with your

00:59:34.240 relationships you know with women with business partners with friends and all that sort of stuff

00:59:37.720 that that you approach it with a lens that that doesn't deal with the distortion the plugged in beta

00:59:44.240 societal programming bullcrap but unplugs from that crap and plugs into basically what my new book was

00:59:51.080 built on which is the unplugged alpha mindset this one it's on amazon go grab it if you haven't read it

00:59:56.500 it's kindle and print in most places of the world right now um to answer that let's get elijah's here

01:00:02.020 dumb question here but it's settling that the same as claiming bankruptcy no um in my book i explain

01:00:07.720 exactly why it's totally different and why it's far more advantageous uh to claiming bankruptcy there

01:00:13.620 now there's a lot to kind of unpack with that but there are times when bankruptcy makes way better

01:00:19.080 sense for example if you have a hundred thousand dollars worth of credit card debt but you have no

01:00:23.260 assets to your name nothing you can possibly lose in the bankruptcy proceeding it's a first time

01:00:27.760 round bankrupt here in canada anyway a first time round bankrupt is very very easy it's not that

01:00:32.160 expensive and it's relatively fast um if you came to me and said hey rich can you teach me how to

01:00:36.780 settle debt or you came to my company we would actually send you away and say no just go bankrupt

01:00:41.160 um so there are certain scenarios so you can do some research on that there's another channel that

01:00:45.460 i have that's been out even longer than this one called just just total debt freedom and there's a

01:00:49.700 lot of videos on there that i still you know try to upload at least once a week on um that answers

01:00:55.280 some questions around bankruptcy versus settling debt doing it yourself and all that so you can go

01:00:58.980 check that out as well uh but thanks for the super chat and kev's got a question i found it on amazon

01:01:06.360 i don't see an option for paperback only kindle right i only did it on kindle um when i published

01:01:11.560 that one i'll probably never do it on paperback um unless i have to rewrite the whole thing so it's

01:01:16.580 it just grab the kindle you can get a kindle reader on an ipad a computer a phone just grab the

01:01:21.440 kindle it's the easiest way to go about it um closing thoughts before we wrap up xander you got

01:01:25.560 anything else you need to drop people or where they can find you aside from the link that i dropped

01:01:28.860 there no that's the link just the alpha playbook um dot com it's like a new thing i've put

01:01:34.920 together i've just wanted to do it for a while because i've been sharing so much in the one

01:01:38.180 percent and like you said it's labor intensive but so i'm just doing it as a test like i have

01:01:42.660 my other businesses still but um it is it's very um lucky almost the guys who were able to get access

01:01:51.660 at this time and what i'm um able to do and give because i just haven't shared this stuff but i'll be

01:01:56.500 able to create some pretty awesome results and i'm excited to even awesome results just with

01:02:01.680 online courses let alone where i can directly work with people um so it should be fun i just

01:02:06.220 encourage all the guys to think about the quadrants think about which level you're at in each of them

01:02:11.400 and then making like a plan and what would your identity need to be to hit each level how would

01:02:16.880 it need to shape and then do the work or come check out the alpha playbook and how i can help you

01:02:23.760 shift that identity that was one thing i wanted to say about the rapper comment

01:02:27.180 when you change you've got to let go of stuff you've got to let go of these limiting beliefs

01:02:32.620 you've got to let go of the person you used to be you can't just like install the new one

01:02:36.800 you have to let go of the blue pill stuff um you have to let go of the limiting beliefs around money

01:02:42.280 you have to go some people too right i mean there's going to be some people that are going

01:02:45.200 to treat you like a crab in a bucket and try to pull you back and hold you back from being

01:02:48.500 successful and there's going to be people that you're going to have to leave behind

01:02:51.060 you might even have to keep some family members at arm's length when you kind of reinvent yourself

01:02:55.740 and change your mindset because even even your closest family members even closest friends will

01:03:01.180 will try to hold you back they don't always want to see you succeed so you have to be comfortable

01:03:05.060 with letting not just the old version of you go but even places people even you know you know the

01:03:10.420 environment that you live in and maybe even picking up and moving because um making making dramatic

01:03:15.600 changes in life is going to entail making some dramatic changes in life believe it or not

01:03:20.160 um i i'm i'm fully behind xander with what he deals with here um i have a slightly different

01:03:28.020 approach to the way that i do things where i like to paint a picture of like if i'm at a and then b

01:03:35.040 looks like that then all i do is every day if this is what b needs to look like for my life i'll always

01:03:41.060 make choices that are fully aligned with b and i'm like water you know i'll always carve the easiest

01:03:46.760 path to be uh that works great for me there's some people that need physical structure quadrants

01:03:53.080 boxes and strategy and one-on-one hand holding i would definitely go to xander i know he's getting

01:03:58.120 a handful of guys in my men's group some positive results and um i don't know maybe we'll have a

01:04:04.680 future cast and kind of talk about how that's going for everybody but i figured this was a better

01:04:09.760 place to do it than do it privately because i know that this is so useful and we can talk about

01:04:13.440 this publicly it's not it's not something that we need to water down too too much for the youtubes of

01:04:18.060 the world but um xander has a pretty incredible life man he's you know when it comes to uh money

01:04:23.940 and women specifically i can i can vouch for him 100 and tell you that without a shadow of a doubt

01:04:30.040 this dude is spoiled for choice he has some of the hottest women i've ever seen and i'm not saying

01:04:34.700 woman i'm saying woman meaning plural we'll we'll just leave it at that i'm kidding i'm kidding

01:04:41.480 um guys thanks for watching smash the like button i appreciate you if you've ordered

01:04:46.940 um my book make sure you leave a review on amazon i'm i'm more so you know concerned with this one

01:04:52.460 and any follow-up work that i do to it although if you do have debt the debt settlement guide is

01:04:56.180 there as well it's it's an easy read you can do that as well in about a day too so

01:04:59.940 thanks for watching leave a comment below xander brother appreciate it man thank you very much

01:05:05.780 looking forward to seeing some comments from the guys chatting to them thank you for so much for

01:05:09.860 thanks for watching

Playing to Win - March 02, 2022

031 - The Making of an Unplugged Alpha

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