537 - OSTRICH OF MASS DESTRUCTION
Episode Stats
Length
3 hours and 38 minutes
Words per Minute
152.54207
Hate Speech Sentences
230
Summary
In this episode, we talk about a few of the craziest things that have happened to us over the past week, including the disappearance of the ticker, the uninstalled font on my computer, and the fact that my mouse is no longer working.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
You're doing so far away, but we got to do some dusting around here.
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Whatever the first person, the first thing I see in the chat that even remotely resembles
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something a little unhinged, but, you know, passable.
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how you guys doing it's friday is it is it the 16th of is that what day this is
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yeah the tickers just disappeared maybe we just leave it dead maybe we let it die
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maybe it's time for it to go we're just killing random things what else that's the whole stream
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pick one thing and i'll get rid of voted off the island voted off the bigot island i don't know
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what happened there just kind of i mean it's there it just it's it's gone i don't know why strange
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okay okay you know this is just a frequent thing with me my whole life with technology and
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i know it sounds insane and in a lot of ways it is insane because it's an inanimate object
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it's not alive it can't you know get moody and develop contempt for me and decide to
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how do you sit i i i don't open this program any of the streaming software
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since i've used it last when it worked i have changed nothing i have done nothing i haven't
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even i haven't even right clicked on it just to give it some attention nothing and it's like
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oh a lot of things have changed for no reason since you last were here uh that's gone now and that
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doesn't work and that's a different color and that font is just uninstalled
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why because fuck you that's why because i'm a computer because i'm because i'm technology
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i was thinking about becoming a computer character but i don't know uh yeah i don't
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know why this is uh why it's done this this is interesting
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yeah that thing used to always be pretty reliable but now it's not
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yeah i don't know i don't know what to tell you let's uh
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oh that's that makes even more sense so the thing i never touch
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which is now invisible shrank and moved itself off the screen i don't know i'm not going to spend
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all night trying to screw with this because that would be silly uh but i i honestly don't know what
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it's becoming a meme at this point like yeah the font has has uninstalled itself i guess
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yeah okay see see this isn't happening this is not helping anything
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budget cuts uh you know you're you're done ticker's done
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you're you're moving oh no we don't want to kill that let's just we're just going to move that down there
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make a little less uh uninhabited a little less deserted islandy oh it works over here for some reason
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in a different font it's not but you know what you've let you've had your chance see now it's all worried
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and the you know the ticker's like oh who's my job yeah you probably are you probably are i'm going
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to replace it with scrolling thumbnail images of just um i don't know things derek finds in the
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woods like literally anything is better than you right now scrolling box okay i really don't know
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why i've bothered with it this long it should just be terminated so we need to just terminate
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things just start getting rid of things start getting rid of things all right anyway that's out of
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the way i guess how are you guys doing filthy weasel hey man he says it grows increasingly
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difficult for me to comprehend the mentality or lack thereof as i witness cars with window stickers
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slogans of elbows up flood into mortons philip please make my brain pain go away well let's see he's an
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expert at that um i think that's i mean he doesn't want to admit it but that's that's probably secretly
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what happened to him see over here too why why does your box work
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what do you mean because you're not gay that's not an answer i'm starting to think you did this
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like literally the font doesn't exist the one that i've used for years why would i uninstall it doesn't
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does anyone else know you know i don't don't answer that i'm gonna get all kinds of dms and things
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where people go oh you gotta you gotta you gotta and then it'll break worse just like last time
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that's why i ended up with a broken mic state a broken everything broken brain
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um actually i actually have a video for that uh mr weasel will just give me a second
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ostrich i think you mean ostrich i missed a lot of this i understand fairy hates ostriches
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i think he's just afraid of them i think he just has a deep fear of the ostrich
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and to be fair he doesn't he doesn't trust anything that can stand up higher than him
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and ostriches can get fairly tall so he doesn't trust them and um i mean they're creepy you know
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it's it's a tennis ball with like a pool noodle of a neck and legs just affixed to a giant ball of
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meat and it can run really fast like surprisingly fast and they've got this they're kind of monstrous
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i think i think he's just letting his fear get to bed i mean ostriches only kill i mean they don't
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kill that many people a year they're not that dangerous they're a little dangerous
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per capita i don't know how dangerous i don't know if they're as dangerous as migrants
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we were if we just have ostrich i mean we could eat the ostriches
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that's actually a helpful contribution to society we could eat the meat from the ostriches they
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that would be something that would be putting into the economy and i mean ostriches do also they also
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crap wherever they want but you can fence them in and they can live outside and they don't mind it
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like they like it out there and um they don't really have any interest at working at tim hortons
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or drive-thrus or they don't drive any vehicles so there'll there'll be no more transport truck crashing
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so as much as a ferry doesn't like it i'm gonna have to so i we're gonna have to press forward on the
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ostrich for migrants initiative and we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna load up on ostriches
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um and trade them for you know extra all the extra people we have
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and then we'll become a superpower based on an ostrich economy ostrich eggs meats
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they're and and fun and think of the thanksgiving like you know turkeys are getting a little expensive
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we'll do a thanksgiving ostrich hunt you can go out and teach the boys how to shoot it's a perfect
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center mass it's a giant ball of meat that just floats around on spindly little dumb legs
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and we're gonna have a lot of them like so many will have to shoot a lot of them just to stay on top
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of the population so there's a lot of upside here there's a lot of economic bonuses and stuff and
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because of the now the ostrich threat in western canada especially will have to um well they'll
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be forced to abandon a lot of the gun restrictions and arm most people over the age of 10 uh because
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these ostriches specifically they will hunt in packs and they will they won't attack people outright but
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if they are small you know like chill like coyotes will do like if a child is left they'll the ostriches
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we're gonna need a bigger oven i don't know how you even cook an ostrich i i imagine you have to cut
00:10:03.380
it up we might need and you know we are robert picton isn't with us anymore so we don't i don't know if
00:10:10.880
we have any experts on how to slice and i don't know i would i wouldn't know i i've never tried to
00:10:18.280
make too much meat fit in a freezer that it wasn't built for and again picton isn't here anymore so i
00:10:23.640
don't know what we're gonna do but we'll have to put our heads together so i don't have any updates
00:10:27.800
for you as anal on the ostrich situation that's just my initial take on it the latest controversy
00:10:44.380
it's gonna tear everything it's finally this is what's gonna undo us
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ostriches they started fighting over ostriches and that just did unravel
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you wouldn't think they would they would care but oh do they care about their long-legged meat birds
00:11:07.600
and cognition hazards are physically resonating through electronics and erasing data due to the
00:11:15.260
disruption and the energetic that could be true
00:11:17.180
you can't fix this just ride the wave of psychic energy maybe dump some extra mind brain powers into
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it even i don't know if any of that's true or could be true or how it works but
00:11:28.220
i know that if i investigated it i wouldn't come to any conclusive
00:11:32.460
answer i wouldn't be convinced totally that it's impossible or that it's happening either way
00:11:38.300
so i'm just going to choose to believe that it is and just live my life that way
00:11:42.960
it saves time you know otherwise you're just in an endless debate
00:11:46.980
over now it's like just pick one just pick one and move on
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you guys some of these conspiracy guys and people
00:11:52.700
listen you gotta again the hyper feminization i'm talking about there's too much of this
00:11:56.700
you guys gotta fucking man up all right you're like women with shoes and clothes and outfits
00:12:14.320
i care who did it who did it who did who did that
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who did that so we can find them and kill them who did who was that who did that so we can so we
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i don't know why this is why is this a conversation we're having
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by a conspiracy of some involving terror something shady's going on a lot of people died
00:12:48.120
all right so what we should do for the next 20 years is argue over laser beams
00:12:57.760
yeah okay there never was any planes i don't care man
00:13:04.660
who did it oh it's not important that's the only thing that matters and then once they're dead
00:13:10.560
then you dissect how do they do all this crazy shit anyway
00:13:13.260
otherwise you're just leaving it like jack the ripper
00:13:26.900
yeah you just leave it alone and then i'll just gonna it's just gonna stay
00:13:34.000
romantic psychic energy feeding it in it'll fix itself next stream everything will be fixed
00:13:39.280
it's gonna meditate on it uh suspicious crj says my credit card limit was reduced
00:13:44.340
i need cesus dollars to feed myself because of you also death to miss the speaker
00:13:48.200
i thought i banned the three dollar i was thinking about this in the shower
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i need to make a note of this and investigate because i'm gonna do it fuck it
00:13:55.400
minimum no there's a myth inflation and listen we've classed up the joint a little bit
00:14:03.280
i'm still wearing sweatpants but hey you know you can't tell
00:14:14.620
pays for the extra entertain pays for the pole dancers
00:14:18.620
you don't see we have them but they're not for you
00:14:26.540
steegals is pretty sure ostriches are actually the last dinosaurs that roam earth i don't know
00:14:33.980
ostriches have an undeserved smugness about them
00:14:40.120
you ever look at you ever look an ostrich in the eye and you can just get the sense that it knows
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it really believes that it's better than you and you're like you're a
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fucking meat bird and it's still just because its head's way up in the air
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you know like i think i could beat it in a fight but
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i don't know don't they have like claws on their feet maybe you can't man
00:15:02.800
maybe ostriches are just mad that you know dana white is not going to let them participate in the ufc
00:15:11.220
john jones has been ducking the ostriches his whole career
00:15:14.880
and yeah they're smug when it comes to people because they're like any the worst ostrich would
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fuck you up john jones the worst the a blind ostrich with one leg would kill you
00:15:26.140
yeah we're just we're just gonna we're just gonna make we're just gonna make weird ostrich
00:15:36.240
jokes for a while because this is uh we're in canada i'm canadian and we're all insane we've
00:15:40.580
been forced to live in a mental prison of abuse and gaslighting for so long that there's really
00:15:44.280
no tethered to reality anymore we're all lost at sea making our best guess as to which way land is
00:15:49.960
north south east west underwater in the sky nobody really knows nobody really cares it's almost as if
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nobody's really ever cared and those of us that do care try to care try to make other people care
00:15:58.720
we realize that they don't care either they never cared so what do you do with a pile of people that
00:16:04.280
just don't care you throw them up in the air and wave their hands around like you just don't care
00:16:09.820
no you just you fucking uh well you know you do what phil would do you hijack the boat and you throw
00:16:18.800
i i don't care i don't care to be sailed around by a bunch of people who don't
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care about their job because i need to get where i'm going alive
00:16:36.660
and healthy and not stabbed by a somalian on a train so you you gotta go you know swim time bath time
00:16:52.040
philip says walk the plank you don't get it no you don't get this you don't get to have this either
00:17:13.500
it's like he's put it's like he's put safeguards on it i can't even edit some things
00:17:27.720
can be dreads is ostriches can carry heavy mini gun bomb knives they look like if you could tame
00:17:53.960
them you could pack you they could pack some things they could carry some weight
00:17:57.080
they could carry ammunition ostriches could carry ammunition they could also carry casualties
00:18:03.540
you get a stretcher with two ostriches on either side and you're just bouncing along on those
00:18:13.180
they're better than any all-terrain vehicle an ostrich can get you down the side of a mountain
00:18:19.480
if it wants you to if it wants you to live if it doesn't want you to live
00:18:38.880
keep your head says auschwitz equals ostrich equals hong kong
00:18:51.680
what happens if someone's colluding is fairy in here what happens if someone's colluding with the ostriches what do we do with them
00:19:02.660
colluding with the alien the avian enemy well they're not burnt they don't fly
00:19:10.060
for the amount of money that we've sent to haiti and pakistan
00:19:17.500
and transgender surgery all these things we should be
00:19:24.380
that's a waste of money use that money to see if we can weaponize flying ostriches
00:19:36.180
scientific genetic research like we're going to get better at it
00:19:39.740
we're going to get better at trying to put wings on things
00:20:00.100
any of those things we're just taking our money instead of investing
00:20:12.200
listen you're either are we in this to win or not
00:20:44.040
here's another mad scientist thing i would do with money
00:20:52.560
case anybody watching is still trying to decide if i should have a lot of money or not
00:21:12.540
they say they're you know smart enough to communicate
00:21:16.080
they're almost just they're or like potentially as intelligent as people even
00:21:24.220
can they can they see like how do they sound they can probably interpret
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and see if they don't either try to kill themselves or go insane immediately
00:21:39.820
i just i just wondered since they're smart enough to
00:21:42.600
communicate back and forth and understand things i wonder if they also would be
00:21:47.760
it's an untapped manpower source i don't think anybody's really looking nobody's really looking
00:22:05.120
actually the americans and the and the russians both tried to train and weaponize dolphins
00:22:16.780
how did it go i i mean i i try i i began the application process once upon a time
00:22:24.700
the government says they're doing shit like that like oh yeah we tried to brainwash people with radio waves
00:23:04.940
that even suggests there were any ostriches in the area
00:23:08.200
or the hospital around where george patten died