REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 1003. Q&AF： Attached To Old Identities, Potential Vs. Success & Struggles Of A Growing Business

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.460 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:26.080 have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers dj is going to tell you

00:00:31.840 how you can submit your questions guys we want your questions please submit them at ask andy at

00:00:37.740 andy for seller.com click the link in the description right now submit your questions

00:00:41.720 for a chance to be answered or if you want to just pop them in the comment section of this video right

00:00:46.000 here we'll check them out there as well all right so if this is your first time listening uh we have

00:00:51.660 multiple different formats on this channel uh on this podcast uh today you're going to hear q and a

00:00:57.720 f uh tonight at 7 central you're going to see cti live okay and that's where we talk about what's

00:01:04.400 going on in the world it's called cruise the internet all right we speculate we talk about

00:01:08.700 it we try to figure it out and then we talk about what we need to do as citizens uh to make the

00:01:13.680 country better other times we're going to have real talk real talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving

00:01:18.520 you some real talk and then other times we will have 75 hard verses um that's where people who

00:01:24.920 have completed the 75 hard program come on the show they talk about how they were before how they

00:01:29.800 are now and how they use the 75 hard program to uh change their lives if you're unfamiliar with 75

00:01:36.120 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program which is the world's most famous mental transformation

00:01:41.940 program ever and it's free you can get it episode 208 on the audio feed again that's

00:01:48.220 208 on the audio feed there's also a book on andy for cella.com called the book on mental toughness

00:01:54.160 which gives you the entire program plus a whole bunch of other stuff on a discipline mindset how

00:01:59.960 to apply it to your life okay uh one thing about this show that is different from all the other

00:02:04.680 shows out there is we are an outcome-based show meaning we are giving you this information

00:02:10.040 both in personal development and society for us to create a better outcome

00:02:16.040 uh i don't take ads for that i do this because i feel obligated to do it and in exchange i ask

00:02:22.860 very simply that you help us grow the show and share the show all right so we got this little

00:02:27.240 thing that we say around here it goes like this don't be a hoe share the show all right maybe got

00:02:31.560 threatened them a little what was that yeah it was a little aggressive yeah

00:02:34.200 i got a problem over here with my chair i didn't touch it you know what i mean

00:02:39.740 no i think the air cylinders like they go out after a minute bro you got a thousand episodes in

00:02:47.020 that chair bro yeah that's true you know what i'm saying yeah this is my most comfortable place to

00:02:51.580 sit really yeah like that's why that's why yesterday when we when you were in here i said

00:02:56.260 i'm gonna have my meeting in here yeah it's like the only place i can focus yeah you know i don't

00:03:01.080 know what that is but from now on meetings are in here yeah i like it yeah i'm down with it i like

00:03:07.540 it you guys that goes for you guys too you need to talk to me we come here meet me in the studio

00:03:11.920 that's right that's right yeah dude it's so crazy to think too man like uh i mean i know my first

00:03:18.060 episodes but i mean your first episodes uh mfco project was in a conference room bro yeah it's so

00:03:23.720 crazy and like now it's like well you know people think they gotta have all the stuff you don't have

00:03:29.500 to have all the stuff dude yeah like you know this people they think about this in business too

00:03:35.580 right they think like let me get the business card and let me get the nice sign and let me get the

00:03:40.620 name on my door and let me get the nice office and like none of that shit matters dude you know

00:03:46.280 when it comes to podcast creation you just gotta go and and by the way creating a podcast isn't for

00:03:53.780 everyone it's a lot of work um it's a skill that you have to develop over time and like most skills

00:04:02.040 you know people quit before they actually develop it you know when we started out there in 2015 dude

00:04:07.100 we didn't even know what we were doing like i barely knew what a podcast was yeah you know yeah so

00:04:12.140 in fact we didn't even start it with the idea of being a podcast the the idea was vaughn was going to

00:04:19.700 write me a book um and he was interviewing me to do the ghost writing for the book and uh we started

00:04:28.100 taking the interview clips and posting them on instagram this is back people don't realize this

00:04:33.060 but instagram used to only be 15 second clips all right so we'd post these 15 second clips and it was

00:04:39.020 the most popular thing i was posting fucking heat yeah and everybody was like man where can i listen to

00:04:44.240 this podcast and this gotta remember dude podcasts were popular like in the early 2000s then they like

00:04:51.820 went away okay they became like uncool all right like if you had a podcast you were a nerd all right

00:04:57.620 and then like 2015 it really happened like right when we came out with it they became popular again

00:05:05.800 and uh so i had all these people you know posting in the comments are like we're gonna listen to this

00:05:11.600 podcast i'm like dude this isn't a podcast this is we're in a book this we're doing real shit over

00:05:17.000 here you know and after like you know probably six months of that a year of that finally i was like

00:05:24.600 well maybe we should just do a podcast and that's how it started yeah and we just committed to it and

00:05:31.380 we just kept doing it and doing it and doing it and now we're here and uh you know it's really

00:05:36.960 parallel to to anything that you're trying to build in your life you know you you got to be willing

00:05:42.280 to suck you know if you go back and listen to my original episodes which are on the internet still

00:05:47.520 if you're unfamiliar where they are they're back at the beginning feed of the real af audio feed on

00:05:53.820 the audio platforms and you go listen to them and you're going to be like holy shit yeah like this

00:05:59.260 dude was terrible yeah right and um that's just it's a parallel for what what you got to be willing

00:06:06.540 to look bad you know you got to be willing to look stupid in front of people now you're number seven

00:06:11.000 on earth no i'm number five number five yeah number five i just checked yeah let's check again just for

00:06:16.860 fun let's see where we're at right now you see that number five the only shows ahead of us are

00:06:23.720 crime junkie dateline nbc a fucking multiple tens of millions of dollars operation of course joe rogan

00:06:32.840 who is the fucking greatest podcaster in the world yeah uh and then uh the daily the new york times

00:06:39.120 so you know and then there's sean ryan and megan kelly and we're all right there in the group and

00:06:44.440 you know this this you just got to keep going dude like that's really what it is and we've never had

00:06:51.540 corporate support i've always funded this out of my own pocket i don't do this for a living this

00:06:57.060 isn't my main job i don't take ads because i want people to trust that what they're hearing

00:07:02.360 is my honest opinion yeah right yeah and i think that's you know for a long time that was like why

00:07:09.440 does he not do that you know that's that's cool he doesn't but why well now you're seeing why yeah

00:07:14.100 okay i had the foresight to understand that we have to be able to trust our people and i don't want

00:07:21.100 that eroded you know what i mean yeah because once it's gone dude it's gone yeah and like dude i

00:07:25.700 don't want to listen to someone telling me you know what i can and can't say or should and shouldn't

00:07:30.520 say and it's just not who i am dude yeah you know yeah well there's something to that too now if

00:07:36.380 one of you motherfuckers wants to come give me a hundred million dollars and i can say whatever

00:07:39.580 the fuck i want you know for real then you know i'm gonna take the money but that just never

00:07:46.760 works out that way yeah you know they always promise these things and then all my buddies who

00:07:51.740 get these deals end up dealing with a bunch of corporate dorks who are trying to censor them and

00:07:56.660 shit and like dude i'm that's not i'm not with that shit can you not talk about that so hard that's

00:08:01.840 what i'm saying like even shit like that like dude when someone says that to me i'm going harder now

00:08:08.560 yeah right you know what i mean like so it's just you know it is what it is but anyway i'm very

00:08:14.660 thankful and very grateful for all of you who have been here the entire time um you guys that

00:08:20.540 share the show regularly and share my content that means a lot to all of us here um

00:08:25.660 we need to figure out a way to make the show bigger and better on youtube okay so please tell

00:08:34.780 your friends please have people join you know we're trying to do a good mission here um yeah and that's

00:08:41.640 one very important point i would like to say that number five is not in the business category that's

00:08:47.000 overall correct that means on earth out of 4.2 million podcasts yeah well that's how many podcasts

00:08:54.260 there are on itunes well i guess we're doing all right i like those eyes that's really well you know

00:09:00.960 like the the newer shows like the guys who've come around the last four or five years they started

00:09:06.620 their show on a youtube right and we we didn't start youtube till uh two years ago yeah so you

00:09:13.200 know we're behind there but you know our audience on audio is always there yeah so i appreciate you

00:09:19.260 guys oh geez yeah oh geez it's cool man and then you know we have the operator standard show inside the

00:09:24.760 uh operator standard app which is the the rebirth of the mfceo which is going very well yeah but uh that's

00:09:30.660 kind of open to the public right now so um yeah i'll let you know yeah such a suck i love it man

00:09:39.300 i love it dude guys it is monday let's make some people better shall we do it guys andy question

00:09:47.120 number one andy dude i'll be i'm sorry i'll be feeling for these people without reading these

00:09:52.700 questions man it's like fuck man andy i say i want to grow but i'm still attached to the

00:10:00.460 version of me everyone knows the funny one the laid back one the one who doesn't take things too

00:10:06.660 seriously part of me worries that if i let level up people won't like me the same how do you grow

00:10:13.860 without feeling like you're losing yourself for your people is that a real is that a real fear to

00:10:19.140 be worried i mean look dude just because there's plenty of people that are successful that have good

00:10:24.620 personalities and they're fun to be around and they're cool and they can make jokes uh you know

00:10:30.440 i like to think i'm cool you know what i'm saying like i actually think i'm pretty cool but uh you

00:10:36.140 know you have to know when when to under you got to understand this dude to become something else

00:10:42.920 there's parts of your life that you're going to have to be okay letting go okay because the new

00:10:49.440 parts are going to come in and take space where the old parts were so unless you're willing to let go

00:10:54.140 of who you are to become who you're supposed to be it's going to be a very conflicting journey

00:11:00.500 all right and this is why when we talk about like going down this path you have to go all in and you

00:11:07.180 have to accept what the price is going to be up front okay and so many people this is not just during

00:11:15.920 this era this is in human history okay i actually believe that the reason that most people never get

00:11:24.380 where they want to go is for the reason that this person is asking right here they are afraid of what

00:11:30.720 they have to give up which actually makes no sense because if you loved what you had you wouldn't be

00:11:38.980 aspiring to have something else so why are you afraid to give this thing up that is creating this

00:11:46.500 outcome in this reality that you don't enjoy or that you know isn't fulfilling to get what you actually

00:11:53.160 want that doesn't make sense if you actually think about it it's like the people who do 75 hard

00:12:01.620 and on day 76 their idea of celebrating is going right back to the things that they did

00:12:08.240 i'm gonna have a big cake and i'm gonna go out and i'm gonna stuff myself well if that's where you

00:12:13.240 are bro you didn't do the program right because you'd be terrified to go back to who you were

00:12:17.660 all right so we have to understand that when you think about this logically

00:12:24.360 you are not comfortable where you are you understand that you need to do more you understand that you want

00:12:34.740 more and desire more you are willing to go do it

00:12:38.080 but you're afraid of letting go what you have that's holding you from becoming this that doesn't

00:12:45.980 actually make sense when you logically think you really think about right so we have to separate our

00:12:51.520 emotions from our logic and you know you are going to lose some friends you are going to fucking you

00:12:59.060 know people aren't going to like it that's the reality of doing anything outside the social norm

00:13:03.860 anytime you do anything outside the social norm you have a weird haircut you decide to wear different

00:13:09.640 clothes you talk a different way you pursue a different life even if that life would be something

00:13:15.420 that would just be different not necessarily an entrepreneur or success but let's say you wanted to

00:13:21.240 you know be a vagabond and travel the earth and do all these things there's going to be people that

00:13:25.960 are going to say bro you're you're fucking up okay but each person's life is each person's life

00:13:30.760 and you have to understand that those people that you're afraid of upsetting are not going to be there

00:13:35.700 for you when it really counts that's the truth okay that is the hard truth that most people don't want

00:13:41.300 to admit okay you come into this world alone and you die alone and there's people that come and go

00:13:49.320 along the way and they serve different parts at different places for different lessons and different

00:13:56.080 reasons and you can't have that perspective when you're a young 20 year old person but as someone

00:14:02.840 who's lived a little bit of life I can promise you that most of the people that you're afraid of upsetting

00:14:08.740 now are not going to be there in five years and they're certainly not going to be there in 15 so why

00:14:14.480 would you short circuit what it is you want for yourself because maybe these people won't approve

00:14:21.120 of it or they might not like you okay and here's the here's the final point to this question

00:14:26.360 it is okay to not be liked you don't want to be liked by everybody if you're liked by everybody

00:14:35.960 you're irrelevant there's certain people that shouldn't like you there's certain things that

00:14:40.780 you should stand for that make people say I don't fucking like that your thing is to make sure that

00:14:47.900 it's the right people that don't like you yeah right for the for for good reason right okay so you have

00:14:53.960 to be comfortable and become comfortable not being liked and this is something that a seasoned

00:15:00.020 entrepreneur or even a seasoned person who's been on their own path and is comfortable with their own

00:15:05.560 identity and who they are I don't they don't think about those things you're thinking about those things

00:15:10.240 because you're a young person and you don't know any better yet and that's okay dude but I'm gonna tell

00:15:15.580 you right now that shit is irrelevant and there's gonna be people that don't like you because of your

00:15:20.380 fucking haircut bro okay what are you gonna do you're gonna keep doing the dance to make sure everybody's happy

00:15:25.200 yeah you're gonna get your haircut the way they want you're gonna wear the clothes they want you're gonna

00:15:28.920 fucking do your life the way they want they're fucking probably gonna lose bro so when you do this dance

00:15:34.220 for everybody you got to realize the people you're dancing for they they aren't the people you should be

00:15:39.380 dancing for you should be doing your own fucking dance you see what I'm saying dude yeah I think

00:15:44.360 another big thing with like especially the young crowd man it's like you know I'm known as a funny

00:15:48.920 one so like I'll be a funny that means you have to go to the bar and fucking make a fool of yourself

00:15:52.520 for people to be cool with yeah like like is that really what you want is that a really is that

00:15:56.400 actually a quality relationship yeah you could do a cool fucking shotgun trick with the beer can like

00:16:01.020 okay cool yeah is that really what that's what you're trying to amount for yeah that's it yeah

00:16:06.020 that shit goes away man yeah bro it does and um I promise you and this goes out to all the young

00:16:11.960 people out there and the older people listening can vouch for this those people that you think are

00:16:17.180 their friends your friends in high school and and college and shit like you might still know them and

00:16:23.300 be cool with them and be friendly with them and and consider them friends but they're not gonna

00:16:28.080 they're not gonna have the same impact on your life as they do when you're surrounded by them every

00:16:32.040 single day so at the end of the day bro here's what it comes down to you got to do what you think

00:16:38.100 is best for you and if you don't and you don't do it because of all these other people's maybe not

00:16:42.600 approving you're gonna be fucking broke you're gonna your life's gonna suck you're gonna be

00:16:46.820 frustrated and you're gonna get to 40 and you're gonna say fuck I wish I would have done what I wanted

00:16:51.540 to do you don't want to be that guy there's a lot most people become that person all those people

00:16:57.140 that you're afraid are not going to like you anymore they're going to be that motherfucker

00:17:00.000 they're going to be that person at 40 years old and saying man I wish I hadn't fucked off I wish

00:17:05.040 I had went a little harder I wish I had chased my dreams I wish I had become what I wanted to become

00:17:09.220 you don't want that you want to be the guy at 40 years old that says hey I got 20 years in this shit

00:17:13.980 now now we got good momentum while everybody else is just trying to figure it out and they finally

00:17:18.680 realize their party life is over and you got 20 years fucking stacked that's how you get ahead dude

00:17:24.180 so if you're my friend and I'm talking to you straight up fuck those people that's it okay I

00:17:30.900 don't give a fuck what they say I don't care if they like you or not I don't give a shit because

00:17:35.780 this is what I'm doing all right and that's the attitude you have to have and if you don't have

00:17:40.220 that attitude and you don't have the ability to cultivate it you don't have what it takes to win

00:17:43.600 I love it man I love it um yeah I don't know how old that dude I do know how this this next person

00:17:49.220 is um guys Andy question number two hey Andy I'm 19 years old fuck what do you remember you 19

00:17:55.620 yeah like yesterday yesterday yeah I still feel that way yeah yeah fuck man I still feel that way I

00:18:03.280 still feel that I still feel the same as I felt then just no more shit yeah yeah you handle shit

00:18:09.460 quicker too yeah yeah uh Andy I'm 19 all right I've had people tell me for years that I have

00:18:17.640 a lot of potential teachers bosses friends but I'm starting to wonder if that's just something

00:18:24.880 people say before you disappoint them like how do you make sure you don't end up being that guy who

00:18:30.780 almost did something fuck I mean yeah well that's a good question I would tell you that just like we

00:18:39.000 talk about where there's a paradox when it comes to success okay most people believe that if you're

00:18:47.720 successful you had some sort of advantage that they did not have they believe that you were fed with a

00:18:54.140 silver spoon and that things were always smooth and that you just got all the breaks and got all the

00:19:02.140 luck and everything was great in their ER and that's what they believe all right but the truth of the

00:19:07.820 matter is is that the most successful people on earth come from the most chaotic things as a

00:19:13.800 childhood and the reason that those people grow up to be successful or total nightmares is because they

00:19:21.240 learn how to win or lose battles at a young age all right they learn how to navigate life at a young age

00:19:27.080 they learn hardship at a young age they came from shit they didn't have anything they had a parent that

00:19:34.500 was you know abusive or mentally abusive or they had there's some sort of battle or probably a lot of

00:19:41.640 them that they had to fight through and because they learned that skill to fight early it applies later

00:19:48.220 when it comes to them building shit so then when bad shit happens they're like well fuck I've been

00:19:54.120 through shit this ain't nothing okay so there's a paradox there right and there's another paradox

00:19:59.420 which is the one you're talking about which is the kids who are told that they have all the potential in the

00:20:08.900 world and that they can be anything they want and that they're probably going to be president united states and

00:20:14.280 everybody tells them how great they are and they get straight a's and they're the mvp of the football team and

00:20:19.260 they're all this shit in high school those people end up being fucking losers that ends up being the peak of their

00:20:24.620 life they end up taking all of the praise and saying I'm great not realizing that they've got 80

00:20:31.500 motherfucking years left okay so they attach their identity to this thing of everybody else's belief

00:20:38.860 and everybody else's praise and every all the things they accomplished and then they go out in the world

00:20:45.720 and they think that the world is going to just spread its legs and give you the fucking prize okay and it

00:20:51.640 doesn't work that way but I got all this potential right potential doesn't mean fucking shit okay

00:20:56.980 action means shit the people like me who were considered dumb who were considered unfocused who

00:21:05.860 were told repeatedly by their teachers and their coaches and and by the way I had good teachers and

00:21:12.360 coaches too but the people who were told that they weren't going to be shit that they weren't smart

00:21:19.240 enough that they weren't good enough that they weren't you know what it takes or in my case cream

00:21:24.540 of the crop which was the exact quote used in my scenario those are the people that develop a

00:21:30.360 fucking chip on their shoulder because they've been told all this shit and they're like fuck you

00:21:35.880 I'm gonna fucking show you okay now in each one of those paradoxes you have the ability to choose

00:21:43.240 all right you have the ability as a young person who went through a very difficult upbringing to

00:21:51.300 choose do I turn out like that and just repeat the cycle or do I break the cycle and I don't want

00:21:58.300 that there's a very famous story I don't I don't know the exact lingo but it goes something like this

00:22:05.380 there was an alcoholic man who had two sons one son became an alcoholic like his dad

00:22:12.920 the other son never drank a drop of alcohol because he didn't want to be like his dad and those

00:22:18.120 are the choices that we have so you sound like you have some good things going for you

00:22:25.460 maybe maybe they are just telling you that you have this potential but here's the bottom line it

00:22:32.800 doesn't fucking matter because potential doesn't mean anything action means things so if you don't

00:22:38.380 want to become the guy who gets told that you know they're the most likely to succeed and win and

00:22:44.240 become all these things then don't put any weight into the praise that people give you and this goes

00:22:49.480 into a even bigger topic which will address the first question as well you have to know who you are and you

00:22:59.420 have to decide who you're going to become and when people tell you along the way that you're doing

00:23:05.640 bad or doing great you have to let that shit roll off your shoulders there's a lot of talk about

00:23:13.020 people saying hey you know fuck the haters don't listen to them but there's no talk about hey fuck the

00:23:19.820 praise don't listen to that either because that'll get you just as fucked up there's no talk about

00:23:23.900 that all right so and that's probably a bigger killer than the negative because it makes people believe

00:23:29.700 they've already done something all right so so we have to understand that along our journey it is very

00:23:38.900 important to stay centered and when people criticize you don't be emotional about it at first ask yourself

00:23:47.880 is this a critique or is this emotional fucking hater shit if it's a critique and it's true then you can

00:23:56.720 adjust if it's emotional hater shit then you put that into your fucking chip that you got on your

00:24:03.040 shoulder and you draw upon that on one of the 10 million times that you're not going to feel like

00:24:09.000 doing what it is you want to do or one of the 10 million times that you're going to feel like quitting

00:24:13.480 all right now on the other side if someone comes in and they say oh you're doing so great you're the

00:24:20.740 greatest on earth you're the winners will let that shit roll off their back they don't give a fuck

00:24:27.920 they don't celebrate they don't put any stock into it they look for the truth all right is this person

00:24:35.380 telling me the truth is this person pumping me full of shit or are they identifying things that i'm

00:24:41.860 doing well and if they're identifying the things that i'm doing well what am i not doing well that i can

00:24:46.740 improve upon there this is how champions think champions look for ways to get better in the

00:24:52.580 negative and the positive and they stay very balanced there's a saying in professional athlete

00:24:58.500 world where you don't read your newspaper clippings okay you don't read them when they're good you don't

00:25:04.300 read them when they're bad you focus on what it is that you have to do the actions that you have to

00:25:08.680 take you keep your head down and you work like you've got something to prove your entire life and

00:25:13.860 eventually you look around and everything that you ever dreamed of is your life all right but that

00:25:20.360 doesn't come from other people's input unless you have the ability to deduce the ways to get better

00:25:28.860 from both the negative and the positive all right so you got to keep yourself balanced you got to learn

00:25:35.500 everywhere you can you've got to be able to recognize the difference which is hard in the beginning

00:25:40.460 because you don't have the experience but you got to be able to recognize the difference between

00:25:45.800 people just hating or people giving an honest critique or uh and how do you use it all right

00:25:52.120 same with positive okay they're telling me i'm great at this well why didn't they say i was great at

00:25:57.100 that i'm working really hard at that maybe i need to work harder at this winners don't give a

00:26:01.240 shit about the critiques or the praise unless it serves them in a certain way and it shouldn't serve

00:26:09.620 the ego all right people's ego they're hubris now there's applications of ego all right it's important

00:26:17.960 to have a big ego at certain points of time what people really say is a big ego is confidence that's

00:26:25.560 what most people think is a big ego because confidence is so rare that they never see it and they

00:26:29.900 say oh look that guy's full of himself well let me tell you something dude if you're going to walk

00:26:34.120 out onto a football field in front of a hundred thousand people you better think you're the

00:26:37.720 shit or you're gonna get fucking killed you ran the fuck over yeah if you're gonna go speak in front

00:26:42.200 of 20 000 people you better think you're fucking good or they're gonna be they're gonna they're

00:26:46.640 gonna know it they're gonna know that you're insecure so ego serves us in certain aspects when we go to

00:26:53.000 perform but it doesn't serve us when we're preparing to perform it's a two different things

00:26:59.760 champions will be humble in preparation and confident or cocky in execution all right so

00:27:07.920 we have to be able to determine where our ego is appropriate and where our ego is not appropriate

00:27:13.520 and the easiest way to know that is what i just said it's humble in preparation don't think you're

00:27:19.500 better than you are no matter how good they're telling you do the things you need to do do them to

00:27:24.640 the best of your ability and then when you go out and execute know that you did all the things that

00:27:29.620 you can do which generates real confidence and go out and perform all right so when you when you let

00:27:36.040 your ego get involved and the emotions get involved in the preparation process that's not a good thing

00:27:41.720 that's always gonna that's always gonna get you off your game all right yeah it sounds like a lot of

00:27:46.340 this just comes down to some self-awareness right like absolutely like oh you you're fucking you know

00:27:51.240 you're you're killing it and i like look at my bank account i'm not killing it yet yeah you know

00:27:54.940 i'm saying or or you're fucking you're doing terrible i look at my bank account i could be

00:27:59.640 broke i'm doing all right yeah but the thing you got to remember here dj is that their their praise or

00:28:05.880 their criticism is coming from their perspective they don't know what you have planned in your head

00:28:10.960 they don't know what you're working on they don't know what level you're trying to reach they

00:28:15.060 don't know these things so for example like i have big dreams okay like even what i've done so

00:28:22.280 far in my life i'm still very young and i have massive goals massive goals so big that if i were

00:28:30.180 to even tell you what they are a lot of you guys would be like dude what the fuck this guy's fucking

00:28:35.280 insane but it takes crazy to do crazy shit all right so we have to understand that when you get praise

00:28:43.140 and you get criticism like for example a lot of people come to me and i know it's a compliment

00:28:47.880 and i appreciate it but they say dude you're killing it but like for me i'm so far away from

00:28:54.100 where i want to be that like i'm like no dude like i'm not but for them i'm living their dream every

00:29:00.820 single day right so it's all relative to where they're they're at at the moment you got to keep

00:29:06.600 that in mind yeah that's some real shit dude that's real uh guys andy we got one more question

00:29:11.560 for you bro uh guys andy we got question number three um andy my business is finally growing

00:29:19.920 uh i own a plumbing supply company uh but the more it grows the more complicated it gets more people

00:29:27.080 more issues more moving parts it's not fun the way it used to be is that just the next level or is

00:29:34.140 a sign you scaled something you didn't actually want like bro i want to win but i had a way better

00:29:39.820 time when we were small than if i'm if i'm being completely honest um yeah that's the way it goes

00:29:46.260 okay um look oh man i can relate to that so much dude because as much as i love doing what i'm doing

00:29:59.280 now as much as i love seeing all the people here and coming here every day what i really loved was

00:30:06.300 working the floor of one of our retail stores because i was face to face with the customer i was

00:30:10.900 able to help them with my own two hands and my brain and i got to see the payback of that right like

00:30:17.460 that was very rewarding i i really enjoyed that and as the business has grown you know i it my

00:30:25.380 my uh my place of usefulness in the business is no longer that all right so you're gonna go through

00:30:33.320 phases you're you started the business it's going well when it was small it was probably much more

00:30:40.140 intimate and like you had better time you went drinking with the boys and all your own tailgates

00:30:44.660 right yeah that shit's amazing yeah like that's the the best memories well not the best but some of

00:30:49.840 the best memories of my entrepreneurial journey sitting on it dude like i can't tell you how many

00:30:57.200 times chris and i sat on you know uh that shitty ass couch in the store or one of us we sit on the

00:31:04.780 floor and we'd be drinking beers and we'd be talking it'd be fucking midnight we'd be talking about

00:31:09.160 you know what we're gonna do you know what i mean or as we got a little bit bigger and there was a core

00:31:14.360 you know 20 guys and we were going out to eat together and going to bars and having fun that

00:31:20.020 was just a different era so you're going to go through eras of growing a company and certain

00:31:25.240 points in time are not going to be fun bro and when you're stretching from one level to the next level

00:31:30.520 and you don't know exactly what to do it's very high stress it's very high uh anxiety it's it's very

00:31:37.600 unfulfilling because you're frustrated most of the time but what will happen is your company will

00:31:42.520 evolve to that next level and then there will be a new set of fun that you enjoy there will be new

00:31:47.160 experiences that you enjoy there will be different aspects that you enjoy so we have to be very

00:31:51.640 careful to think like oh well these were the good old days well the reason they're the good old days

00:31:58.020 is because you kept progressing all right if you didn't progress they'd just be the days you just

00:32:02.740 be an alcoholic yes and here's the reality bro if you stay where you were that will no longer be fun

00:32:11.400 you you will no longer be having fun if you stayed exactly where you are you're only saying it was fun

00:32:18.660 now because you're in a different part of the business yeah but if you were there every day and

00:32:23.120 you're looking around how do you even appreciate that for what it is if it's what you do every day

00:32:27.140 okay you see what i'm saying so you're going to go through these levels where you're going to be

00:32:33.820 building shit then you're going to go through a scaling period and then you're going to the company will

00:32:39.580 become a different version of the first company the way it was in the beginning and you're going

00:32:43.160 to go through that many different times and there's many different phases over the course of my

00:32:47.200 business career that were a lot of fun they were just different all right and now my fun is much

00:32:54.260 different than it was in the beginning but i appreciate all of those levels because those are

00:32:59.140 some of the best memories that i've ever had so you need to let go of the idea that you know you're

00:33:05.420 moving into something that is perpetually never going to be fun again that's not reality you're

00:33:10.440 just in a place of scaling and anybody who's scaling uh will tell you or scale anything that those are

00:33:16.580 the hardest years so the way businesses typically scale people think this because this is what they

00:33:22.500 see on the internet they see the glory stories they see the guy who came up with a business and in three

00:33:28.440 years it was a 200 million dollar business that's what they see that's not most businesses most

00:33:33.980 businesses scale in phases they go from one and then so like if you're watching okay if you're

00:33:40.360 not watching i'm using my my little finger drawing here okay you you start out at the bottom and then

00:33:46.040 you start to move up okay and then you plateau and that move up usually lasts uh you know two to three

00:33:52.580 years and then you get to this new phase and that phase usually lasts two to four years and then you

00:33:59.320 start to go again and that's the way so it's kind of like a step up if that makes sense um but instead

00:34:06.020 of the up being vertical it's like at a 45 so it's like flat 45 flat 45 and then there's time along those

00:34:14.080 periods and when you're in that 45 period it's fun because you're making more money and things are

00:34:19.040 going well um but it's also sucking all your money okay so now you're like fuck i'm making money but

00:34:25.460 i don't i'm still broke where the fuck's it going right so then you get into this phase you know

00:34:30.080 where where things start to stabilize and the company operates and you're probably making some

00:34:35.200 money and then you're going to go on another growth phase and during those growth phases you're probably

00:34:39.220 not going to make much money all right so and and the dude making money is not fun all right so um

00:34:46.460 and then you know to pile on to that what's not fun about it is not only are you not making money

00:34:53.000 you don't know what the fuck you're doing in at the same time so there's like you're learning right

00:34:58.920 and so when you are in this phase of not making any money because it's sucking all your money in

00:35:05.140 because you're scaling and then you don't know all the answers because you know you've never been on

00:35:10.580 this before now you're in a position where it feels like fuck this sucks yeah fuck this i'm not making

00:35:15.780 any money i fucking hate my life i'm frustrated all the time but dude you just got to keep going

00:35:21.160 because what happens is you end up leveling up again and that happens over and over and over

00:35:25.580 and like for me somebody who's been doing this for 27 years i understand that all right and the reason

00:35:32.140 i was able to push through the first version of that was for no other reason that i didn't have

00:35:37.500 any other options and this is why we talk about having a zero option mentality all right in the

00:35:42.820 beginning your back is against the wall bro it's either do or die all right and then when you start

00:35:49.340 to have a little comfort and a little money it's no longer do or die but you have to create that

00:35:54.500 mentality inside of you where it still is do or die and the way that you do that is that you realize

00:36:01.360 that if you don't keep going you're going to lose everything you got and you're going to go back to

00:36:05.880 that place of discomfort where you didn't have shit all right and that's worse than fucking anything

00:36:10.540 for an entrepreneur so we have to cultivate this idea even when it's not true that we don't have

00:36:18.660 any other options and when things get hard like it's funny because i'll say this to people you've

00:36:23.240 heard me say this where i've said you know i don't want to dig ditches okay because that's what i've

00:36:31.580 convinced myself that i will be doing if this fails even at this point in time even even at this point

00:36:37.860 in time in my life i look back and i say all right i better go because i don't want to fucking dig

00:36:43.480 ditches all right now it's a little bit different now it's it's more so like i know that's not the

00:36:50.580 truth because i've cultivated a uh a certain set of skills that will always i'll always be able to

00:36:56.200 provide for myself yeah i'm a great speaker i i know a lot of shit you can't really take that from

00:37:01.500 me you know you know what i'm saying you might have to start a ditch digging company but like well

00:37:05.340 i mean you know i could be like everybody else on the internet and just sell what i know

00:37:09.220 yeah um which is i probably should do because i you know that's what everybody else is doing but

00:37:14.120 i you know regardless the point is is i can always take care of myself now so now the the it moves into

00:37:23.440 you guys all right and these guys and everybody that works and associates with our companies whether

00:37:29.240 it be you know uh any of the companies that we work with i feel a sense of responsibility to continue

00:37:34.320 to go but don't think that i'm still not thinking like fuck if this really goes south not only do

00:37:39.520 they fucking lose but i'm gonna be digging fucking ditches i think that shit every day yeah all right

00:37:43.900 so you got to cultivate that mentality um to make sure that you continue to to act urgently yeah how

00:37:53.080 many times of those those stair climbs i guess would you say that it took you before you realize okay

00:37:59.600 cool this is just that this is how it works you know i'm saying because i'm sure that first

00:38:02.680 the first big jump honestly it probably took like 15 years for me to figure it out really yeah maybe

00:38:08.260 even 20 wow um because those those are like three and four year spans yeah you see what i'm saying

00:38:14.340 so you can't really figure it out until you go through a few of those cycles yeah all right yeah

00:38:19.760 so that was also probably too like just historically some of the hardest years too right like 2009 you had

00:38:25.120 to deal with fuck oh yeah like yeah oh no no listen dude the years where your company is actually

00:38:30.500 growing or the hardest everybody thinks that's the most exciting time no it's like you're running

00:38:35.100 around with your fucking ass on fire like it sucks dude you know and there's there's the the positive

00:38:40.520 is is you're like okay well things are growing let me just reel this in and let me get it operating

00:38:44.220 right and let me make sure it's profitable and you know it's like pruning the fucking bush you know

00:38:49.100 what i mean um so yeah dude it takes time and that's why i share this lesson because those of

00:38:56.720 you who might be in that first cycle especially when you're in your 20s and you're just getting

00:39:01.240 started you know you have to understand that you're in the place where most people give up

00:39:06.520 and and most people are in your position right now like let's take this guy for example who's got

00:39:12.660 he started this little thing it's not what he wants it to be um it was fun now it's hard and he's

00:39:18.500 like fuck maybe i picked the wrong thing those are his words yeah those are his words okay but you

00:39:23.540 already got do you say how many years he has in it no he didn't okay but you already got significant

00:39:27.560 amount of years built into this all right and here's where people fuck up their lives they get

00:39:32.240 to this place where it's very frustrating and they turn around and go back and they say well this isn't

00:39:36.920 what i wanted yeah it's too painful this can't be it right but it but but what happens is is they

00:39:41.380 now you just wasted three years okay and here's what happens they go out and they do something else

00:39:47.340 and then they find themselves in the same pattern and they're like this isn't it either so then they

00:39:51.760 go back again now you're talking about nine years wasted all right so three years go back three years

00:39:58.100 again go back now you're talking about nine years and people do this all the time without realizing it

00:40:04.040 all right they don't understand that people a lot of people waste their lives going from thing to

00:40:12.720 thing to thing to thing to thing hoping that it becomes the thing that they quote unquote enjoy

00:40:19.980 that's not how the fuck it works bro you gotta force it into something that you enjoy you gotta keep

00:40:25.980 going and you gotta understand that we are all working on a time scale you will die all of us will

00:40:31.880 so wasting you know 12 years going from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing is not really a good

00:40:39.220 thing all right and by the way you're in plumbing that's never going away so if i were you i'd be in

00:40:47.640 a i i would be grateful for the business that you're in i would be real about the challenges that are faced

00:40:54.980 by building anything meaningful and i would understand that i have all this time invested i have a certain

00:41:01.120 skill set that a lot of people don't have and i need to build upon that and when you build upon that

00:41:05.500 you will get to a place that is higher than the beginning guys okay and remember this too

00:41:11.400 lots of people that are competing with you that have other plumbing companies and uh and and they're

00:41:16.980 doing the same thing that you're doing they're quitting in this fucking hard part okay if you don't

00:41:22.340 quit your competition actually goes down all right there's less people that you're competing with this is

00:41:28.040 practical stuff okay if you do it again there's even more people that quit all right and then

00:41:34.040 eventually you find yourself on a level where you're kind of looking around there's probably

00:41:37.940 like two or three other guys that are at your level and they didn't quit either and you know

00:41:42.380 what happens you become friends with them with some respect yeah because you all respect each other

00:41:46.780 because of what you know you went through all right and that's what i was trying to say the other day

00:41:50.980 when we were talking about getting into circles i think we were talking about this on the hangout last

00:41:54.880 week all right a lot of people who are day one they want to be in that like year 20 circle

00:42:00.740 but you don't get in that circle bro because you haven't paid your fucking dues you don't have the

00:42:05.420 respect of people who have been in in 20 years like dude when you complain about three years in

00:42:10.280 the guy who's been doing it for 25 looks at you and he says you're a bitch okay so you don't get into

00:42:17.360 those rooms unless you earn that respect all right and then you could get it now now i'm not saying you

00:42:22.780 can't like physically get in the room and learn from the people and and pick up what you can and provide

00:42:29.120 value and potentially you know get a friendship going with some of these people but they're still

00:42:34.400 going to always look at you different they're going to look at you as a little grasshopper which by the

00:42:38.220 way is a great thing because if you actually do have the ability to connect and get in a room with

00:42:43.920 high level people and you're humble about it a lot of those people will go out of their way to help

00:42:48.520 you as long as they see that you're pushing through this hard shit okay nobody wants to waste their time

00:42:54.880 on people that are bitching about how hard it is it's it's fucking hard bro it's the hardest thing

00:42:59.360 you could ever choose to do you could not pick a harder profession in the history of humankind than

00:43:05.700 to become a fucking entrepreneur it's the hardest thing that's also why there's the biggest reward

00:43:11.820 so you have to think about what you really want entrepreneurship um and the way the internet

00:43:18.580 you know tries to make it they try to make it like it's for everybody but dude quite honestly it's not

00:43:23.420 for everybody and it's not for everybody not because they can't do it it's not for everybody

00:43:28.820 because it doesn't produce the life that they think entrepreneurship is about you follow me

00:43:35.580 absolutely absolutely they get into it thinking oh man i'm going to become an entrepreneur i'm going

00:43:42.000 to start a brand i'm going to become my own boss make my own schedule bro you're you're not your own

00:43:47.100 boss you just think you are because when you own a company your customers are the fucking boss

00:43:52.120 and by the way if you're a good leader your employees are the boss because you're answering

00:43:56.500 to them you're helping them you're you're developing them you're taking care that that you you're always

00:44:01.940 going to answer to somebody it's just who do you want to answer to do you want to answer to some

00:44:06.800 dude that you know uh you know and maybe you like him maybe he's a good dude maybe maybe maybe

00:44:12.860 you really like your boss okay and that's a good thing by the way but maybe you're thinking oh man i need

00:44:18.600 to go ahead and do it on my own well you need to really think about what that dude goes through

00:44:22.120 because it isn't what you think you see it's not you know the the high life that the internet makes

00:44:29.180 it out to be right and everybody has a different version of what success looks like and you need

00:44:35.980 to be real clear about what you think that is here's what i will tell you from my experience

00:44:39.620 i'm glad i went when i was young i'm glad i went hard as fuck when i was a young man

00:44:44.520 i'm glad i didn't waste that time all right that's my perspective on it yeah i love it it's

00:44:51.680 been well worth the journey it's been very hard i've there's been a gazillion times i wanted to

00:44:58.180 quit there's still times i want to quit fuck it literally probably every week i go through a

00:45:03.540 serious debate in my head of like what the fuck am i doing okay but that's where you have to have this

00:45:10.440 big vision bro you've got to have this vision for your life that is so big that it it literally like

00:45:17.360 propels you forward into it and you have to understand that once you create that vision for

00:45:23.700 yourself if you don't fulfill it it's going to be one of your biggest regrets of your life

00:45:27.980 when they've interviewed thousands of people when they're on their deathbed that the regrets aren't

00:45:33.860 the things that they did their regrets are the things they didn't do okay so you got to think

00:45:38.900 about that not everybody has this big vision not everybody wants to you know make you know millions

00:45:45.940 of dollars a year but those people are going to have different challenges right they're going to

00:45:51.280 have to consider what things cost on the menu they're going to have to consider where they go for

00:45:56.240 vacation they're going to have to consider what cars they drive they're going to have to make

00:46:00.500 different concessions in their life that you're not going to have to make when you have a lot of money

00:46:05.040 okay having a lot of money is a great fucking thing and nobody that has a lot of money will

00:46:11.520 ever tell you any different you always hear from people who don't have money how evil it is how bad

00:46:16.200 it is and how you shouldn't pursue it you ever wonder why that is you ever wonder why you don't

00:46:20.840 have people like uh who have gone out and built things say man i really regret doing that have you

00:46:25.840 ever heard that no i've never heard that either i only hear that from do nothing losers on the

00:46:30.880 internet who are trying to morally have a high ground over people who are actually doing things

00:46:36.040 okay so keep that in mind too everybody shits on it and the reason they shit on it is because they

00:46:42.420 didn't do it and you're doing it that's real bro that's real man guys andy dude that's three that's

00:46:49.580 a hell of a way to start a week man all right guys well we will see you tonight 7 central on

00:46:55.100 youtube and x and uh 7 p.m central cti live don't be a hoe share the show

00:47:02.380 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions

00:47:09.220 in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case close

00:47:16.760 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 23, 2026

1003. Q&AF： Attached To Old Identities, Potential Vs. Success & Struggles Of A Growing Business

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