REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 1041. Q&AF： Developing Leadership Qualities, Defense Or Offense & Aiming High Vs Being Realistic

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's angie for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies 0.99

00:00:21.260 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we 0.89

00:00:25.700 have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers you

00:00:30.260 could submit your questions a couple different ways dj will tell you how yeah guys you can email

00:00:34.560 your questions in to ask andy andy for seller.com you guys can also click the link in the description

00:00:39.000 below submit them there or just drop them in the comment section of the q and af videos right here

00:00:43.700 on youtube you guys know how it works um we're gonna have shows within the show throughout the

00:00:49.080 week we're gonna have probably cti might hit you with the special uh fourth of july cti this week

00:00:55.700 We know we've been on and off schedule, but I have other things that have to be done.

00:01:00.700 I'm not a full-time podcaster, contrary to what the internet thinks.

00:01:05.300 There is a fee for the show.

00:01:06.640 The fee is very simple.

00:01:08.880 Share the show, man.

00:01:10.220 All right?

00:01:10.620 We don't do ads on this show.

00:01:12.180 We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't do ads.

00:01:14.460 And the reason we don't do ads is because I don't want people thinking that I'm getting paid to say anything.

00:01:21.340 So it's very simple.

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00:01:25.700 think it's worth sharing do us a favor man and help us grow the show by sharing it so don't be 1.00

00:01:29.820 a hoe share the show all right what's up my brother yeah no shit man what are you about 0.97

00:01:35.220 to start race riot yeah my doc called me uh malcolm xl malcolm xl that's not funny malcolm 0.99

00:01:41.000 xxl oh no come on man that's who you used to be now you're just xl that's right all right that's

00:01:47.100 right that's right what's going on though man nothing dude yeah dude the blue light actually

00:01:50.600 does help it does help a lot it helps a lot it helps me with my sleep sleeping a lot i need i

00:01:56.620 need help with my sleep real talk sleeping hurts now what do you mean like i just wake up and 0.91

00:02:02.220 shit's just fucked up dude what is that oh you don't even know i don't even want to hear that 0.99

00:02:07.300 i don't even want to hear that from you man bro like my shoulder has been fucking killing me i 1.00

00:02:13.040 don't even want to hear it like it sucks i don't want i don't know i could hurt myself from sleeping 0.99

00:02:17.680 yeah give it another 15 years yeah is there anything they could i could do make it better 0.99

00:02:23.460 no no it's just yeah that's just yeah it's the cards i've been dealt that's right fuck man 0.99

00:02:29.000 oh it's called age is that what it is yeah well life is ageist yeah um no sweet man uh how you 0.98

00:02:35.720 doing good yeah we got a busy weekend yeah a lot of great things happening here yes sir and uh

00:02:42.360 we're here on uh you guys are listening on a monday to get better yeah uh before we get started

00:02:47.340 just to let you guys know we are in qt again a lot of you guys been asking about qt we are uh

00:02:53.160 you will find form energy in qt uh along with the form ready drink proteins uh meat sticks snacks

00:02:59.960 the full lineup back in qt just letting you guys know that um important announcement it's great

00:03:06.420 announcement yeah it's great i do i like i like quick trip yeah the taquitos yeah yeah bro they 0.55

00:03:11.500 got this new shit out there now they got chicken tenders dog i don't want to hear about that either 0.97

00:03:17.880 andy they slap okay i know no sauce dude i know qt's like food fuck is good dude no i've never 0.99

00:03:26.140 had chicken tenders that didn't need sauce yeah see dude i'm a regular person i'm not i have i 0.65

00:03:31.180 have regular people taste that's right that's right qt and casey's pizza and that that's what 0.99

00:03:37.060 i love dude i love that shit bro it's just good shit it's terrible i gotta be careful i gotta be 0.99

00:03:43.820 careful because dude i'll gain 30 pounds in a fucking weekend easy yeah easy so light work 0.99

00:03:48.660 yeah man but yeah i do love it to me that's gourmet bro that's right hell yeah man uh well 0.95

00:03:55.640 yeah man guys it's monday so as always i got three good ones for you all right let's make some people

00:04:01.500 better today. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, preface, this is a leadership question.

00:04:08.800 Andy, I'm 31 and I supervise about 15 people at work. Lately, I've been asking myself a question

00:04:16.220 that I can't shake. If I worked for me, would I actually want to follow me? Not because I'm mean

00:04:23.560 or unfair, but because I don't always live up to the standards I expect from other people.

00:04:28.100 How do you become the kind of leader that other people naturally want to follow instead of someone who's just in charge?

00:04:36.460 Well, I mean, first of all, the fact that you're aware of this is a really good sign because most terrible leaders, they believe they're great leaders.

00:04:44.860 The worst leaders on the earth believe they're the best leaders on the earth.

00:04:48.380 It's no different than when you go into a meeting and, you know, you need the team to perform and you say, hey, we're not doing good enough.

00:04:55.840 we got to do this and this and this the people who are already executing at a high level feel 0.87

00:05:00.320 like you're talking to them and then the people who aren't doing shit are like oh he's not talking

00:05:04.000 to me definitely right so so the fact that you're aware of your leadership uh weaknesses is a great

00:05:11.780 sign and you should always be auditing your ability uh to be an effective leader by examining

00:05:17.700 your own leadership capability style techniques so first thing i'll tell you is like the fact that

00:05:25.180 you're even considering or asking the question tells me that you have the capacity to be a great

00:05:30.140 leader. All right. Because most people don't do that. I think you're asking yourself a great

00:05:35.820 question. Okay. If I was led by me, would I want to follow me? That's a great question to ask

00:05:43.700 yourself. Yeah, for sure. And it's honest. It's a real thing. And if you can effectively answer

00:05:50.080 that uh in a non-biased way you're going to develop as a great leader okay um but the question

00:05:57.820 was how how do i develop how do i look the greatest leaders in the world understand that

00:06:08.400 leadership is not about authority it's an equally as important position on the team to the mission

00:06:16.740 at hand. Okay. So they don't look at it like, well, I'm the leader. So you got to do what I say.

00:06:23.660 They look at it like I'm the leader and that's a role. And these guys have other roles. And then

00:06:29.760 those guys behind them have other roles. And if we're all rowing in synchronicity, we'll get where

00:06:34.280 we want to go. So understanding that leadership is not a position of authority as much as it is

00:06:42.900 a role on a team that has to be executed effectively to produce the outcome is the way

00:06:48.060 that leaders should think about leading, okay? Your job is to not know all the answers. Your job

00:06:55.600 is to be able to understand what the right answer may be, even if it doesn't come from you.

00:07:02.940 This is called servant leadership, all right? My job is to help them develop. It's to help us

00:07:12.060 figure out the path and it's for me to choose the path and then help them develop into the people

00:07:17.960 that can effectively move us towards the path so that we all get the outcome that we're after

00:07:23.240 and people don't think of it like that bad leaders think of it as like oh well i'm the leader you

00:07:29.480 gotta listen to what i say and they don't even really think about anything other than that like 0.91

00:07:32.460 that's not leadership bro you're just a douchebag you know so um there's a lot of things that come 0.80

00:07:39.460 into great leaders. You know, you need to be willing to do the things that you ask your team 0.92

00:07:43.140 to do. You need to be able to do them effectively. Now, if you're a great, great leader, you're

00:07:47.960 going to be surrounded by people who can do the job that you ask them to do much better than you

00:07:54.280 could do it. But you should still be willing to do it. Right. Even if you're bad at it, even if

00:08:00.120 you're bad at it in front of the whole team, you should be willing to do that job or at least do

00:08:03.560 your best to do the job um you know living the standard that you ask from your team you know

00:08:12.620 vince lombardi has a very famous quote that leading by example isn't the best way to lead

00:08:17.340 it's the only way to lead and what that means is is like if you're not living the standard if you're

00:08:21.900 not willing to hold yourself accountable to the same standards that you hold the team nobody's

00:08:26.880 going to believe anything that you say you know and then there's other things like you can't lie

00:08:30.860 of your team you can't tell them you're going to do shit that you're not going to do you can't say 0.88

00:08:35.280 hey we're going to go do these things and when we get here this will happen and then not follow 0.99

00:08:39.180 through and these are all things that create bad teams because the leader is ineffective um

00:08:47.040 you know i mean dude there's a million things but at the end of the day

00:08:51.040 you know leadership is not about authority it's a it's not about your ego it's about

00:08:56.340 accomplishing a mission and if you could keep that intent and that understanding at the forefront of

00:09:02.440 your focus all of the other things tend to work themselves out okay so instead of looking at

00:09:07.540 yourself like i'm the leader i'm the man i'm the boss i'm the this you need to be looking at

00:09:12.100 yourself like i am entrusted with this duty and obligation to get us where we need to go

00:09:22.260 and I may not always have the best ideas maybe my team could see something that I can't see like if

00:09:29.300 you're a general and you're not willing to listen to the guys on the front line you're going to get

00:09:34.380 people killed right a lot of leaders won't do that they think they know best they think they

00:09:39.400 know everything you know and really dude it's about squashing ego it's about understanding

00:09:43.800 that the mission comes first the team comes first and then you investing in the team and

00:09:50.080 empowering the team to accomplish that mission whatever that might be so you know it's fundamentally

00:09:56.280 different than what most people think most people get to a job they get promoted they get a little

00:10:01.460 pay raise and then it's the first time they ever had authority in any situation in their life and

00:10:05.820 they like to flex it and that's not what being a great leader is about everybody hates that kind 0.99

00:10:10.080 of leader like you want to talk about a leader that your team run through fucking walls that's 0.98

00:10:14.660 the guy who they know and trust is trying to get us to this destination go through that wall with 0.99

00:10:22.180 them yes yeah and that's the difference between good and effective leaders and people who fucking 0.98

00:10:27.460 suck it's really just about how they view the role yeah you know i don't view my role as a leader in 0.98

00:10:32.220 any of my companies as a superior place to anybody else even though technically yes it is a in the 0.96

00:10:39.620 hierarchy it is a position of authority but that's not how i look at it i look at it like this

00:10:46.260 these people are betting their outcome on my ability to get us where we're trying to go

00:10:53.220 and i owe that to them to get us there and that's how i look at it and and so i'm not saying you 0.67

00:11:00.980 know i'm not even fuck dude like leadership is also a lifelong skill like i don't consider myself

00:11:07.100 a great leader i think once you start thinking you're a great leader just like in any situation 0.64

00:11:12.440 when you start to think it's you then you get really bad at things right so like leadership

00:11:19.720 is a lifelong journey it's a lifelong learning process you're gonna make mistakes you're gonna

00:11:27.160 fuck up and and dude if you're a if you're an ethical leader you're gonna learn from those

00:11:33.220 mistakes because you don't want to make them again because dude when you are in a position 0.99

00:11:36.460 of leadership and you make mistakes the cost isn't just to you it's to them right you could

00:11:42.500 cost them income you could cost them opportunity you could we can waste their time and um you know

00:11:48.320 if you're an ethical leader those are the things that are going to bother you yeah dude you know

00:11:51.980 what's funny the the leadership conversation i grew up i spent my most of my entire life thinking

00:11:57.400 that leaders you know we're told there's natural born leaders we're told that some people just

00:12:03.400 have a natural inclination which i think is still true right for some people right but i think the

00:12:09.720 more i started looking at it it's it's truly an art form that that takes investment right and i

00:12:15.600 think and i want you to like tell me what your thoughts on this but i think for most leaders

00:12:19.540 when they get to that leadership position they've invested in themselves their education their

00:12:23.500 skills they get the title they stop investing in themselves how how did that work for you

00:12:29.220 as you guys started growing you get more people than well i mean bro if you understand that

00:12:33.600 that you're never really a quote-unquote great leader the greatness will find you in it because

00:12:38.740 you're always developing you always want to get better and a lot of people they will wait to lead

00:12:44.960 there's so many people out there that have the capacity to be tremendous leaders but they won't

00:12:52.380 lead before they're given the title of leader and that is not how it actually works leaders

00:12:58.740 great leaders are usually just the people who take initiative to lead they're the people who

00:13:04.500 say okay well this needs to get done and they say okay let's do this okay and so they're the first

00:13:10.220 guy that go that's why it's called leading you know it's the first guy that goes and if we're

00:13:14.640 all standing around and uh you know there's a fucking big pile of rocks and we got to put the 0.83

00:13:20.600 rocks from over there to over there and all we got is shovels the first guy that go gets the 0.93

00:13:27.660 shovel and starts moving the rocks is going to be the guy that other people follow okay and then a

00:13:31.880 second guy joins in and then the third guy joins in and then there's three guys that won't join in 0.99

00:13:36.280 you're like hey fuck you guys those guys fall off the team and everybody else just kind of goes so 0.99

00:13:41.600 like you got to be willing to take the initiative to to go first in order for anybody to follow you 1.00

00:13:47.500 and like that just make like it makes verbal sense it makes logical sense it's tactically

00:13:51.520 correct the the taking initiative to just do the things that you observe need to be done

00:13:59.240 is leading and eventually people will follow you if you're willing to do that and yeah like you

00:14:05.120 know people are afraid to lead because they're like oh they're gonna make fun of me it's like

00:14:08.160 the kid in the class who asks the questions when you're in well that kid ends up being like the 0.97

00:14:13.140 smart motherfucker that makes money right and all the other kids that are making fun of them they 0.99

00:14:16.440 end up their lives suck following other leaders yeah right so like you know you got to be willing 1.00

00:14:22.140 to look stupid you got to be willing to go first you got to be willing to understand it's not about 1.00

00:14:26.360 you being a leader it's about moving the motherfucking rocks from there to there and 1.00

00:14:29.660 that's like the simplest way that you can look at it you know when you look at amazing historic 0.96

00:14:35.440 leadership figures over the course of time they just identify what need to be done and they

00:14:40.960 started doing it and other people joined in right and then you get to accelerated leadership

00:14:45.560 uh you know you move up the chain a little bit and you're like okay well this and you paint this

00:14:53.300 picture this is what we're going for this is what needs to happen and then you start and other

00:15:00.380 people follow in behind you that's just how it works man so like this whole idea you know like

00:15:06.000 when you're on a team and you're not given the like so many people ruin their lives this way

00:15:11.800 they're on a team they know what needs to be done but they won't do it because they're afraid

00:15:18.720 that if they do it they're they're going to make a mistake or they're afraid that

00:15:22.480 you know um other people won't follow them or they'll look at it and be like man well

00:15:27.180 you know andy's the leader here why doesn't he see this or that well that's your job to go do

00:15:32.640 that thing or show me that thing and take the initiative and that's what actually like from

00:15:37.220 an intrapreneur standpoint which is most people that's what drives your value within an organization

00:15:42.680 someone who can look at something observe it handle it and usually handle it without ever

00:15:49.380 having to be told and we always talk about the two things that are needed to be successful well

00:15:54.020 that's probably the third one if we had a third one right we talk about being smart enough to

00:16:00.200 not make the mistake more than once and if you make it more than once don't make it three times

00:16:05.300 right being tough enough to go down the gauntlet without ever quitting it doesn't matter how many

00:16:11.200 times you get smashed in the face or kicked in the nuts or demoralized or beat on you get to 0.91

00:16:16.680 fuck up every single time and then the third thing is is if you can identify problems and you could 0.97

00:16:22.440 solve problems without having to be told those three things together will produce success in 0.99

00:16:27.800 your life it doesn't matter if you're an entrepreneur or an entrepreneur those things

00:16:31.980 will produce performance and you will get compensated for that. So those are three character

00:16:35.860 qualities that you have to invest in and develop. Are you smart enough to not make the same mistake

00:16:42.700 twice? Are you tough enough to continue to move when it feels hopeless? And are you willing to

00:16:50.560 take the initiative to solve the problems when you see the problems without having to be told

00:16:56.040 to solve the problems and handle them? Those are the three things that create value inside of an

00:17:01.040 organization or a team or whatever it is that you're you're involved in so it's really simple

00:17:07.520 it's just you have to invest in those things and to your question you know if you you know people

00:17:14.540 tease me a lot because they're you know they'll say things like oh man congratulations all the

00:17:19.500 success I'm like dude I'm just getting started okay now while I know that that might be a little

00:17:25.960 bit of an exaggeration. Like I understand we've done some things. I will always say that because

00:17:32.100 I don't want that voice to infect my mindset. I don't want taking that credit to infect my ability

00:17:40.380 to be effective. You see what I'm saying? Get you comfortable. So I try to stay very humble with

00:17:45.040 where I'm at, which keeps me hungry, which keeps me moving forward. And I try to make it the best

00:17:50.120 i can about other people and not myself you know and and sometimes we all fall uh victim to our own

00:17:56.740 ego and when you do you got to be able to recognize it you got to be able to be like hey man i'm getting

00:18:00.800 a little too too high on my own supply there you know what i'm saying and um but that happens when

00:18:06.100 you're winning right and and and so i think it's just important to always remember this isn't about

00:18:12.380 you it's not about having authority it's not about you being the man it's about what you accomplish

00:18:19.000 and what you accomplish with your team and what you accomplish for your team and understanding 0.95

00:18:25.640 that like when people bet on you you have an obligation to fucking run across that line and 0.71

00:18:31.660 get them where they want to go what they're betting on and you know that ultimately comes 0.83

00:18:35.840 down to a character and a person with ethics someone who puts the team before themselves

00:18:43.200 who puts the goal before anything and that's what ends those things all combined that we're

00:18:48.040 talking about or what that's the magic of leadership it's not charisma dude there's

00:18:52.280 plenty of leaders that you know quote unquote they give a fiery speech and everybody's oh man

00:18:58.880 that guy's natural born leader well how many times has he given that speech how what would it look

00:19:03.660 like the first time he gave the speech right probably didn't look like that okay that's

00:19:07.940 actually an after effect of being a leader for so long you understand so people think that like oh

00:19:15.580 you gotta have this and you gotta have the words no the actions and the repetition create the words

00:19:21.540 that allow you to deliver the right messages later so you know i i think a lot of people

00:19:29.880 just have a backwards dude yeah 100 do you know i want to hit on this real quick because i think

00:19:33.540 this is important uh when he talked about you know i don't always live up to the standards i

00:19:37.860 expect from other people and i remember we were while i would i know exactly where we were doing

00:19:41.320 cardio one day and it was just me and you talking about the same like topic almost and i remember

00:19:46.640 asking i said andy like you don't you don't seem to have a problem holding people accountable

00:19:51.160 right and he's like well that's because i have no problem holding myself accountable yeah you

00:19:56.020 know i'm saying so can we can we can we touch on it well yeah i think that's possible to you

00:20:00.040 you can't do that if you're not holding yourself not in a real way yeah not yeah i mean you could

00:20:04.600 boss people around and you can like threaten them and you and by the way i used to do that

00:20:08.400 15 years ago right but if you really want people to follow you voluntarily which is where the best 0.86

00:20:14.740 teams fucking you know the national championship teams the super bowl teams the biggest businesses 0.79

00:20:18.960 these people believe in the vision and they believe in that person and if you want people 0.99

00:20:23.840 to believe in you as a leader you have to just like we talk about leading by example

00:20:30.380 the example isn't just the standard you live it's it's what happens when you don't live the standard

00:20:35.180 right do you correct it in yourself do you take accountability can you look your team in the eye 0.61

00:20:40.360 and be like man we fucking lost and that was my fault yeah you see what i'm saying like bro there's 0.74

00:20:46.000 a lot of times in business where we've lost because it was my fault and i don't have a problem looking 0.99

00:20:51.180 at my team and say hey man you know what guys i fucked up that was my bad you guys did what the 0.98

00:20:55.520 fuck you were supposed to do i fucked up and i won't make that mistake again it's about being 0.99

00:20:59.920 accountable to the team and a lot of people won't do that because they think that it like dilutes 1.00

00:21:04.520 when actually it builds you know what i mean it they think it dilutes their leadership capital

00:21:09.680 when in reality that's what builds leadership capital now you do it like a thousand times

00:21:13.500 it might dilute well i mean yeah then you know well i mean look dude but that goes into the one

00:21:18.800 that goes into you make the same mistake twice right you know so like all of these things fit

00:21:23.980 together like a puzzle yeah no it's a lifelong journey man and and the fact i don't did he say

00:21:29.740 how old he was uh 8 31 the fact that you're 31 and you're acknowledging that you have ways to go

00:21:36.720 as a leader is a really good example that eventually you're going to be a great leader

00:21:41.040 you know so i mean dude look i one of the biggest things i i like people always ask like what

00:21:47.240 regrets do you have you know what my biggest regrets are dude is like i look back at when

00:21:53.320 i was a bad leader and i realized that there was a lot of good people that i had that i was leading 0.51

00:22:00.640 that i failed as a leader that at the time i thought they failed and that bothers me i hate

00:22:06.060 that yeah and it's something i live with because you can't go back and fix it you could only fix

00:22:10.380 it moving forward right but like great leaders bro they don't you know it's like michael jordan

00:22:15.700 you know he doesn't talk about the championships he won he thinks about the shots he missed 1.00

00:22:20.220 and great leaders they don't focus on how great they're doing they focus on the fucking shit 0.99

00:22:25.620 that they fucked up so they don't do it again and um you know a lot of people just i think dude i 1.00

00:22:32.260 think people just have it completely backwards yeah i love it dude i love it that's real let's 0.89

00:22:36.400 go uh let's go question number two andy uh guys any question number two andy i bought the company

00:22:41.340 i've worked at for the last 12 years that's cool it was yeah it's pretty cool uh it was exciting

00:22:46.060 at first, but now I catch myself making decisions like an employee instead of an owner. I'm

00:22:51.600 constantly worried about not losing what I've built instead of thinking about how to grow it.

00:22:57.000 Was there a point where your mindset shifted from protecting the business

00:23:01.160 to confidently growing and expanding it? And what triggered that change?

00:23:06.980 No, I didn't have that because I started the business. I started from zero. So I always had

00:23:12.980 the mentality of growing from the very first day you bought something that was already going and

00:23:19.820 you have a different perspective than i have so you're going to have to shift to the understanding

00:23:24.960 that anything but offense is losing okay anything but offense is losing in business okay you trying

00:23:34.800 to protect your business is like going out and trying to play a football game with only the

00:23:42.120 defense on the field so you're relying on protecting and then you're relying on the points

00:23:46.860 coming from uh you know interceptions being run back for a touchdown and any team that ever did

00:23:52.500 that's going to lose so you have to understand there is no maintaining there is no protecting

00:23:58.800 the best way to protect what you have is to continue to grow it the minute you get into that

00:24:03.760 mindset of staying where you are and protecting what you have is the minute you start to lose

00:24:09.460 because everybody else has the mentality of getting better, getting better, getting better,

00:24:14.840 growing, growing, growing. And if you're trying to just stay where you are, then you're, you're

00:24:19.820 moving backwards while they're moving forward. You're not maintaining. They are, you're moving

00:24:25.120 backwards because you're not innovating. You're not developing. You're not growing. You're not,

00:24:30.920 you know, trying to be aggressive and everybody else is. So like you're moving back while they're

00:24:37.320 moving forward. And so, you know, that comes from the place of I purchased this business versus I

00:24:44.540 started the business from scratch. When you start a business from scratch, you are always on offense

00:24:50.080 and that's how your mindset is wired. So you're, there was no, no, there was no pivot for me

00:24:57.060 that said, oh, now I need to go on offense like that. I didn't have an option. Okay. But you need

00:25:03.180 to realize as someone who's moving from an entrepreneur to an entrepreneur that if you

00:25:09.560 only play defense to protect what someone else is built, you're going to lose it anyway.

00:25:13.240 So you have to be on offense. It's not a choice. Any business that stops innovating, that stops

00:25:19.900 trying to grow, that stops trying to be better, eventually gets swallowed up by the competition.

00:25:24.820 That's reality. That is the life cycle of most businesses. Most businesses, and this is why

00:25:30.100 second generation business owners are far less successful than first generation. A lot of people 0.50

00:25:35.240 think it's because they're just gifted the business or whatever. And there's probably

00:25:38.440 something to that. You know, they didn't learn how to work. They didn't learn how to, to build,

00:25:42.660 you know, but the reality they're spoiled. That's what people say, but the reality isn't that

00:25:47.860 they're spoiled. The reality is, is they just do not understand what it took to build it.

00:25:54.520 and you can't experience that unless you actually built it so the second best thing you can do

00:26:00.320 is pretend that you're at zero okay you have a business at zero no matter what it's doing right

00:26:06.320 now what are you going to do to get it to 100 what are you going to do to get it to 1000 0.97

00:26:10.640 that's where your mentality needs to be or you're going to get fucking destroyed dude that's the 0.90

00:26:15.340 reality is this a comment like like i've never heard of that being a thing i mean is this like 0.96

00:26:20.360 a thing that like i guess happen i guess it does happen out there like employees like buying the

00:26:24.740 business have you seen that a lot you mean it's terms of having this problem yeah or just i mean

00:26:33.260 this scenario this this scenario usually presents itself when people inherit businesses gotcha okay

00:26:38.340 but this guy did inherit business he just paid money for it got it okay so you inherited quote

00:26:43.660 unquote something that someone else built so you don't understand what it took to go from zero to

00:26:50.060 where you are you just don't all right so it's a mentality problem and the problem is is that

00:26:56.900 most of these people that get in this position because they know the business as what it has

00:27:03.020 always been they think that that was just magically materialized not understanding what

00:27:11.580 it actually took to get it to that point and that is that that's the delta that people have to

00:27:16.120 overcome when they buy businesses. You have a lot of people on the internet right now who are

00:27:20.560 telling everybody to buy fucking businesses, buy businesses, buy businesses. Cool. You could buy 0.99

00:27:25.000 all the businesses you want, but that didn't mean you know how to fucking run them. That didn't mean 0.98

00:27:28.300 you know how to grow them. And by the way, just so you know, um, unless you can afford to pay

00:27:33.880 six, seven, 800, a million bucks a year, you're not going to find an effective operator to work

00:27:39.140 for you. You're going to have to fucking know how to do it. That's the reality. So that's a big 0.99

00:27:45.040 problem I have with a lot of people who are saying, oh, just go buy all these businesses.

00:27:49.060 What if you don't know how to run them? That's right. You're just going to, you're going to

00:27:52.140 amplify the speed at which you go broke. So you have to understand that the mentality of business

00:27:58.620 is aggressive by default. If you're not aggressive and you're not pushing and you're not trying to

00:28:04.400 win and you're not trying to expand, you are going to lose period. There's no maintaining.

00:28:09.720 there is no maintaining there's not a business on this motherfucking planet 0.95

00:28:14.340 outside of very few exceptions like they're like i'll give you an example 0.96

00:28:19.740 there's a restaurant in new york city called rouse okay wrap everybody knows rouse pasta sauce

00:28:27.540 okay okay it's like 10 bucks all right the original rouse in new york city you cannot get into it is

00:28:34.400 the hardest restaurant in the world to get into you can't get into it do you know why you can't

00:28:38.880 get into it because all the tables that are in there are owned by new york families meaning that

00:28:46.360 is a table that they actually own that they dictate who gets to sit at so there is no way

00:28:52.020 to get a reservation unless you know these people and they invite you in or they say hey you can have

00:28:57.000 my table tonight that reservation is every single night every single night they're open so you can't

00:29:02.780 get into it all right they never change the menu they never that's been going on for decades

00:29:08.320 that's like the only example i can possibly think of a company that has and by the way

00:29:16.020 it's not even a real one because then they innovated and moved outside of the realm of

00:29:21.400 just the restaurant and use the restaurant to leverage for the demand of their cpg sauce right

00:29:27.420 okay so that's not even a real example but that's the closest one i could think of

00:29:31.180 outside of things like that there's not a business in this earth that continues to win

00:29:38.620 over and over and over again that's still around that doesn't evolve and improve and get better 1.00

00:29:44.400 and take competition seriously this is why i get so irritated with all these fucking idiots on the 1.00

00:29:50.400 internet who say it's not about competition if you're an entrepreneur it's absolutely about 1.00

00:29:55.460 competition. Not only is it about competition, it's the hardest fucking competition that you 0.98

00:30:01.040 will ever be in because there is never a time to take a breath. This is why I say all the time, 0.98

00:30:06.640 not everybody is wired for that kind of life. Not everybody wants to wake up every day sweating

00:30:12.820 and knowing that if they fucking take the day off, bro, that the competition is going to get 0.93

00:30:17.460 another step closer to them. They don't want to do that. Okay. They're not built for that. That's 0.97

00:30:22.080 a different kind of pressure it's a different kind of stress for someone like this who's bought a 0.99

00:30:27.140 business you have to start thinking that you are at zero you don't have shit and by the way you 0.99

00:30:33.620 don't have shit because you didn't build it you didn't build anything you fucking wrote a check 0.99

00:30:38.300 for it good for you that's cool now you better get your mind right about what it's going to take 1.00

00:30:43.060 to actually compete or you're going to get fucking steamroll so playing defense and protecting what

00:30:47.780 you have is always a failing strategy it's always always always a failing strategy always 0.85

00:30:53.600 i love it man guys andy let's get to our third and final question question number three

00:30:58.280 andy i recently heard someone say that success usually doesn't happen because people aim too

00:31:07.520 high and fail it happens because they aim too low and succeed that bothered me because i think there

00:31:13.640 are a lot of people myself included who have quietly lowered their expectations over the years

00:31:19.200 so how do you know if you've become realistic or if you've just slowly talked yourself out of the

00:31:26.060 life you actually wanted aren't they the same things aren't those the same exact thing why do

00:31:32.220 you think i get so irritated with people who say realistic goals realistic goals realistic goals

00:31:37.040 no it's not about realistic goals because the minute you hit it you celebrate you never stop

00:31:42.400 celebrate and you end up losing by default. Okay. So you have to understand for you to win long

00:31:46.900 term, you have to have massive goals because that's the nature of achievement. You get better,

00:31:51.680 you get better, you get better, you get better, you get better, you get better, chasing this

00:31:54.940 massive goal. And eventually you become the kind of person that can repeat that process

00:31:59.960 infinitely because you've been pursuing greatness in yourself and your abilities and your skill sets

00:32:05.840 for so long. So this whole idea of setting realistic goals and then achieving them and

00:32:12.760 that being the reason that people lose is a real thing. Most people severely underestimate what

00:32:19.680 they're actually capable of, whether it be because their parents told them shit or their teachers 0.99

00:32:23.340 told them shit, or they've never observed someone actually being successful in their entire life. 0.99

00:32:28.380 They never came from a place where they could like see someone from their neighborhood that 1.00

00:32:32.500 did the thing but i assure you there are millions of people out there who have way way way more

00:32:40.500 difficult circumstances than you that have achieved far more than you are possibly even 0.98

00:32:44.680 dreaming at this moment so why the fuck not you okay most people think too small that's their 0.98

00:32:51.380 entire problem they don't think outside what they've observed in real life right they don't 0.99

00:32:58.520 know a person they don't know a neighbor they don't know a cousin they don't know of anybody

00:33:02.660 who's actually done this so they make it makes them think oh i can't do that either or they live 0.97

00:33:08.180 in a household where their fucking parents come home and they're like you'll be lucky to do this 0.99

00:33:12.500 you know you'll be lucky to get to here you know uh dude that's for people that cheat and lie and 1.00

00:33:17.860 steal and they tell them all this shit and fill their head with this bullshit to compensate for 1.00

00:33:22.460 their own shortcomings which ends up ruining their own kids okay and then you have moms 1.00

00:33:28.500 who will tell you to be realistic because they don't want their kid to get hurt look dude if 0.96

00:33:31.720 you want your kid to actually win your kid's going to get fucking hurt that's reality that's how it 0.98

00:33:36.420 works so yeah i agree with this 100 setting goals that are too small creates more losers 0.96

00:33:44.860 than really anything else and it comes from a place of people not truly believing that they

00:33:52.660 are capable of doing something great which bro every single person that's ever done anything

00:33:59.280 great they breathe like you they bleed like you they feel pain like you these are not superhuman

00:34:06.960 individuals these are people who like we said and originally refuse to quit they are consistently

00:34:14.860 committed to improving and they're intelligent enough to not make the same mistakes twice

00:34:19.880 that's it that's what they do and yes are there very smart people that are much smarter than you

00:34:25.300 yeah okay but that doesn't mean that you can't win too maybe you're not going to be elon musk and 0.88

00:34:31.160 and figure out how to catch a fucking rocket with with chopsticks okay but that doesn't mean that 0.70

00:34:36.580 you can't become tremendously more successful than anybody else that you've ever met 0.98

00:34:41.060 okay but it starts with that belief you have to understand that all these people

00:34:46.960 are just like you they're exactly like you dude they eat food it upsets their stomach they get

00:34:53.200 sick yeah okay um they get diarrhea they shit their pants a little bit and they're like allowed 1.00

00:34:57.660 to change their underwear like all this fucking shit that happens to you happens to them so like 1.00

00:35:03.260 what the fuck you know what i'm saying why don't you believe in yourself enough to create greatness 1.00

00:35:07.400 dude there's so many examples and we live in a time and age where so many people that are real 1.00

00:35:14.680 are observable if you know how to identify the difference between the real and the fake

00:35:18.720 that you should believe in yourself enough to know that you can accomplish literally anything.

00:35:24.340 It is literally math. Okay. It is not magic. It's you win today. You win tomorrow. You win the next

00:35:31.480 day. You win the day after that. You win the day after that. That shit all compounds just like a

00:35:36.680 score would compound. How many days have you won versus how many days have you lost? It's a 1.00

00:35:41.340 mathematical equation and when you remove the magic from it and just accept it for what it is

00:35:46.360 it winning becomes really fucking easy and if you do it long enough it becomes automatic it's not 0.98

00:35:52.300 something you strive to be it's not something you aspire to be it's who the fuck you are when you've 0.98

00:35:58.340 done it long enough like when i start something new dude there at this point in my life there's 0.99

00:36:05.160 not a fucking inch of doubt inside of me that we're going to win now how long it takes to win 0.58

00:36:12.100 or what it's going to be required to produce that outcome that might be up for debate plus or minus 0.96

00:36:18.680 yeah like you know but i know that it can be done yeah and you if you don't have that belief in

00:36:25.660 yourself to start then you shouldn't start you just shouldn't because you're you're you're going

00:36:31.480 to get one or two steps down the road you're gonna get punched in the face and you're gonna

00:36:34.560 say oh man everybody was right you know and that's why i talk about the dark side energy being so 0.99

00:36:40.220 valuable especially in the beginning years where you have a little bit of fuck you and you so that 0.98

00:36:45.320 when you do stumble because you're gonna and when you do make mistakes because you're gonna and 0.99

00:36:50.120 everybody's gonna laugh at you and they will you're able to be like hey fuck you man i'm gonna 1.00

00:36:54.920 fucking show you motherfuckers what the fuck i'm capable of and you continue to go i do not know a 1.00

00:37:00.100 single successful entrepreneur that does not have the fuck you in their heart they may pretend they 1.00

00:37:06.700 don't they may act like they don't they may smile and be all positive all the time but i can promise 0.99

00:37:12.400 you when you get them behind closed doors and you find out what really makes them tick they got a 0.97

00:37:16.380 whole lot of fuck you inside of them and you got to have that you got to be willing to look at 1.00

00:37:20.920 people that laugh at you and be like hey man fuck you now you don't have to say it but if you don't 1.00

00:37:27.480 think it you shouldn't even go yeah but that limited belief is so crazy what's that saying 1.00

00:37:32.440 about like the best ideas or the most amount of best ideas or something like that or in the

00:37:36.740 graveyard in the graveyard that's right because people lacked enough belief to understand

00:37:43.600 that they are capable of creating greatness yeah because of their environment that they 1.00

00:37:50.320 they've been surrounded by most of you guys are surrounded by fucking losers okay that's the truth 0.99

00:37:55.000 most people are surrounded by people who are fucking losing i'm not saying that to like make 0.99

00:37:59.920 fun of people i'm saying that as a factual statement you are surrounded by people who 0.99

00:38:04.160 have not done anything but lost so why the fuck would they believe in you when you haven't given 0.79

00:38:12.320 them a reason to believe that anything else is even possible and that's where the obligation 0.92

00:38:17.360 comes in that's where like when we talk about this bigger picture mission of actually changing

00:38:22.220 what's going on in this country and in the world comes from because if people don't see someone

00:38:29.380 that they know they continue to believe that losing is the only real option that they have

00:38:34.460 okay so it's up to you if you truly want to fix things and you actually want to make a difference

00:38:41.360 and you actually want the country to be better not just go online and talk about it and make 1.00

00:38:46.260 content about it and talk shit i mean how many motherfuckers do we have that talk all this shit 1.00

00:38:50.700 about America. And then you look at their lives and it's like, bro, you're not even living the 1.00

00:38:55.900 standard that you want to see out here in the world, which is a fucking age old saying from 0.96

00:39:00.740 Gandhi, right? Be the change you wish to see. And so when you understand that your role and that 0.95

00:39:07.800 ambition and that drive and that dream that has been placed in your heart by God is it meant for

00:39:14.600 you to achieve so that you could inspire other people to their own greatness, it changes the 0.99

00:39:18.340 fucking way you think. Okay. Now you understand it's not just about you. It's about everybody 1.00

00:39:23.340 that's ever known you. It's about everybody that ever will known you. It's about your kids. It's

00:39:28.080 about your neighbors. It's about your community. And when you become the motherfucker that won

00:39:32.760 or is winning, that inspires them to do better. Okay. You may never see that. You may never have 1.00

00:39:38.820 people come up to you and be like, Hey man, you really inspired me, but I promise you that's how

00:39:42.800 change works. And if we truly want to get away from these tyrants oppressing and taking our

00:39:50.260 freedoms away, the only way to do it is through cultural change and personal excellence. And that

00:39:54.880 starts with the individual. We will never fix this country, never in a million motherfucking years 0.98

00:39:59.520 through just politics. It won't happen. It has to happen at the individual level. And that starts 0.98

00:40:05.280 with people understanding that they have a duty and obligation to become what it is that they know

00:40:11.560 they could be and should be and want to be that little vision that lives inside of you that you're 0.99

00:40:15.980 too afraid to tell anybody about because you're afraid to be laughed at that's the fucking mountain 0.96

00:40:20.860 you're supposed to overcome while you're on this earth that is what you're supposed to do and if 0.99

00:40:26.520 you don't do it you fucking failed your life that's the truth and you can listen to everybody 0.94

00:40:31.120 and they can say well that's not what life's about it's not all life's about there's other 0.99

00:40:35.920 things that life matters about but that's a big motherfucking part of it it's like when people 0.95

00:40:40.340 say oh well money's not money's not important oh it's not i never heard somebody that had more 0.99

00:40:45.740 money to say it was a fucking problem that's right that's right you know what i'm saying 0.99

00:40:50.620 like the only people that say that shit are people with no money so you got to realize dude if you're 1.00

00:40:56.440 in a situation where you're surrounded by people what's all they've done is lost why the fuck are 0.99

00:41:00.960 they going to believe in you your job is to show them what winning looks like so that they will 0.80

00:41:06.280 stop believing that and start to question their own reality become better themselves that's what 0.99

00:41:09.780 cultural change is all about yeah bro fuck man oh brother that was three yep all right dude let's 1.00

00:41:18.000 get out there let's kick some ass see you guys this week don't be a hoe share the show 1.00

00:41:22.680 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions 1.00

00:41:30.020 in the cold bad bitch booted slow got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case 1.00

00:41:37.100 Klo 1.00

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 29, 2026

1041. Q&AF： Developing Leadership Qualities, Defense Or Offense & Aiming High Vs Being Realistic

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