REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 1043. Q&AF： When To Quit Your Job, Chasing Bigger Dreams & Being Intentional

00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye

00:00:20.920 to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking

00:00:25.280 reality guys today we have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the

00:00:31.920 answers dj how can they submit their questions yeah guys you can email these questions in to

00:00:38.360 ask andy at andy for seller.com you can also click the link in the description submit them

00:00:42.560 there for a chance to be answered just drop them in the comment section of the q and af videos right

00:00:46.720 here on youtube let's just get right into it man yeah uh don't forget to pay the fee all right

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00:01:03.940 grow the show uh we are not in a podcast network network we are independent show and uh if you

00:01:09.620 don't share the show it doesn't grow all right so it makes you think it makes you laugh it gives

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00:01:19.240 share the show right and that goes for the clips too gotta share the clips yeah yeah i gotta share

00:01:25.060 the clips is what grows the show i mean yeah we got some good ones coming out too

00:01:29.820 potentially do we yeah maybe i'm not the judge of it but yeah you know i've been told all right

00:01:36.700 what's going on man nothing dude yeah it's a beautiful day just doing the thing yeah what's

00:01:42.080 thing thing oh yeah doing the thing the thing is getting done yeah that's right man yeah no guys

00:01:50.200 uh it's great as always i got three good ones for you all right man and um let's get into it yeah

00:01:56.940 yeah show me god let's make some people better let's make some people better man guys andy

00:02:01.100 question number one andy i've got a good job making around 90k a year uh and on nights and

00:02:09.120 weekends, I've been building a business that's starting to get some traction. Everybody keeps

00:02:14.100 telling me, you'll know when it's time to quit your job. The problem is, I don't think you ever

00:02:20.020 really know. There's a part of me that's excited and another part that's terrified of walking away

00:02:24.900 from stability. Looking back, how did you know the difference between making a smart bet on yourself

00:02:30.280 and making an emotional decision? I mean, what's stability? Stability, a job where, you know,

00:02:38.460 you could get fired because technology changes or your boss doesn't like the way you look at them

00:02:42.860 is that stability i mean let's redefine what stability actually means in my opinion stability

00:02:49.440 means that you are in control of your own outcomes as much as possible and uh i trust myself more

00:02:55.900 than i trust other people which i think everybody should um but unfortunately they don't because

00:03:01.680 we're surrounded by fucking losers okay our whole lives and i don't mean that as like a derogatory

00:03:06.900 statement, I mean that as a matter of factual description of what people are. Most people set

00:03:12.600 goals. They never achieve those goals and they repeat that process their entire lives, which by

00:03:18.220 definition makes them losers and not winners. Winners set goals and achieve goals and set new

00:03:25.820 goals and achieve goals. That's the difference. So when we look at the environment that we're

00:03:30.940 surrounded by growing up for most of us we are surrounded by objectively people that lose yeah

00:03:38.440 okay and those people put ideas in our head like because they weren't able to do something you're

00:03:45.320 not able to do something and those ideas affect our mindset they affect our own evaluation and

00:03:52.580 trust in ourselves because it's abnormal to do things like go out on your own and build

00:04:01.100 things that most people don't build. I mean, that's an abnormal thing. And anything that

00:04:05.880 you do outside the bubble of normal is going to get criticized by people who couldn't do

00:04:11.100 those things. That is common sense to me. I don't know. That should be common sense to

00:04:15.760 other people, but maybe you've never thought about it before. But the reality is, is most

00:04:19.820 of the people you know in your life and you can love them you could think they're great people

00:04:24.980 they could be great friends but objectively they lose far more than they win those people have a

00:04:31.420 life experience of losing those people put these ideas in your head which usually creates enough

00:04:37.680 doubt to where people believe that they are going to be destined to live the outcome that these

00:04:42.560 people have lived so there's that um but isn't it crazy too like the definitions of flip-flop

00:04:49.860 you know like they they want you to think that the definition is a flip-flop like losers are

00:04:54.020 now winners you're a winner now if you're losing and well i mean that's what i'm saying that's

00:04:58.740 because that's the collective yeah like that's the majority i mean look dude when we think about

00:05:04.020 winners there's fucking very few winners versus a lot of people that lose and that's in business

00:05:09.720 that's in sports that's in i mean how many people grew up playing baseball like i did and never made

00:05:15.440 to the major leagues well that was my goal and i lost it that goal that's a fact okay so people

00:05:22.980 collectively have the tendency to believe that what the collective has done is the right thing

00:05:30.720 when in reality it's not always and rarely the right thing right if ever i don't know where

00:05:37.160 you could point at a situation where the collective uh is the winning side so you have

00:05:43.200 to understand that you're accepting a path and going down a path that is not going to be understood

00:05:48.100 or supported by people for a number of reasons one they've never seen it two they don't believe

00:05:53.060 they can do it three it reminds them of what they didn't do and like dude you're just not

00:05:58.700 going to hear good advice from most people that's the truth the only people that you should be

00:06:02.560 listening to if you want to win or other people who have fucking won that's but you should tune

00:06:07.720 everything else out um but the good news for you is there's actually a mathematical equation that

00:06:15.420 tells you when you should leave your job and go full-time on your thing it's not an emotional

00:06:20.040 decision it's not a decision of belief in yourself it's not a decision of is this the right time or

00:06:25.880 not i don't know you know answer my prayers and tell me no it's fucking math okay you can math

00:06:31.740 it out let me tell you the formula it's real simple when your side thing pays you enough money

00:06:39.880 to support your lifestyle for you to survive and eat and do your things then it is time for you to

00:06:47.500 leave the thing that is has been supporting you and go do the thing that's it it's fucking that

00:06:54.520 simple and people get in this position of i'm doing this side thing it's making me some money

00:07:01.620 but i also have my other job so i'm making more money than i was before and usually people have

00:07:09.440 poor financial habits and so they get accustomed to that for this guy you know let's say he's making

00:07:14.940 90k doing his job and let's say he's making 45k on his side job well now he's making two incomes

00:07:23.340 he's making more money than he's ever making which gives him more comfort yeah right right

00:07:27.960 And then to go to full-time, which is what's going to amplify that result from 45K to 500K to a couple million maybe in, you know, 5, 10 years, they don't want to take that step backwards, right?

00:07:43.060 So if you're serious about doing the thing, which if security is important to you, you should be because now you're in control versus someone else just walking in and saying, hey, you know what?

00:07:54.120 fuck off okay which they can do at any time uh if you're serious about that then you should

00:08:03.400 be willing to downsize your lifestyle take that step back from having the two incomes and go full

00:08:09.720 steam because you can't win at whatever it is you're doing with your night and weekend effort

00:08:14.100 it's not going to work because there's other people are doing a full-time that's right and

00:08:17.160 those other people are no matter what you think they're just as good as you and they're probably

00:08:22.360 better because they're getting more reps because they're going full-time so you can't compete with

00:08:26.100 half-ass effort you just can't yeah when did you learn this because i a lot of people i don't know

00:08:30.800 if they a lot of people know this but like you know in the early years when you were just getting

00:08:34.260 started in entrepreneurship you were working other side jobs because you had to right yeah the first

00:08:39.180 seven seven years seven years okay so that was seven years before it was before i quit all the

00:08:45.680 side shit okay yeah and you know what i did what i just told him it was fucking math yeah it's math

00:08:52.020 yeah it's kind of like you know people put these these these this like mystical i'm gonna know

00:08:59.200 when it's the right time anybody who's telling you you'll know when it's the right time didn't

00:09:03.800 fucking do it because anybody who's done it is going to tell you what i just told you they're

00:09:08.160 going to say it's math right okay and uh math runs the world i don't know if you know this but like

00:09:14.280 when it when it comes to success there's no mystical formula to it it really is win one day

00:09:21.520 win the next day win the third day win the fourth day win the fifth day oh you lost the sixth day

00:09:27.500 win the seventh day and when you average out more wins than you fucking lose you're going to win

00:09:32.520 your life it's that simple and if you do that long enough winning doesn't become something that

00:09:38.280 you have to focus on every day it just becomes who the fuck you are so it's not even a struggle

00:09:43.140 it's just the normal thing it's the expectation like you know why i don't get excited about winning

00:09:47.820 because i don't any of you in here could tell me that we could fucking hit the biggest grand slam

00:09:51.980 in the world and i'm like yeah we should have done that two years ago because that's my expectation

00:09:57.080 i expect to fucking win okay and that expectation comes from years and years and years and years

00:10:02.240 and years of understanding how winning is actually accomplished and people like to put these mystical

00:10:08.740 ideas and these this fucking foo-foo bullshit you know on it because they want to you know

00:10:18.200 abandon the the responsibility that they have for their own lives you know oh i tried really hard

00:10:23.900 but it didn't just work out bro anybody who's tried hard long enough it's not even about trying

00:10:28.860 hard anyone who's been effective long enough for it's an average okay if if out of 30 days um

00:10:36.280 you miss three and you win fucking 27 that means that you are winning at a 90 rate all right that's

00:10:46.220 pretty good it's pretty good but uh 97 is better than 90 right it's a it's math it's fucking math

00:10:54.340 you could gamify it which by the way uh i've done this is what we built with operator standard where

00:10:59.480 you can find the mfceo project podcast you go into operator standard and you follow the fucking

00:11:05.240 directions and you can tell the difference between a critical task and a non-critical tasks

00:11:09.520 it literally and you follow it it literally makes losing fucking impossible like impossible you

00:11:16.040 cannot fucking lose and i think people if they would remove all this mystical shit and all these

00:11:21.920 what ifs and maybes and this and that that's all loser shit that you pick up along the way

00:11:27.380 it is literal math it is one plus one equals motherfucking two that is it yeah dude i think

00:11:34.780 another thing too that you know people would have a hard time i guess with this and i think you you

00:11:40.380 you said it was a a step back is the lifestyle piece of it and not being willing you know or

00:11:46.380 seeing that as a step back when it's really you stepping forward you know i'm saying by whatever

00:11:51.320 that costs i think it's you know it comes down to people not willing to take those risk i guess

00:11:56.980 you know they don't want to look embarrassed by getting an apartment from their house or you know

00:12:01.100 i'm saying like well are you gonna be embarrassed living the same lifestyle in another fucking 15

00:12:04.320 years right i mean it's all how you look at it it's all how you assess the outcomes and the risk

00:12:13.040 you know most people say what am i going to what if this happens what if that happens what if this

00:12:16.960 happens what if that happens instead of saying what happens if i don't like that's how winners

00:12:22.040 evaluate risk and outcome okay so like it's just a perception change that you have to have and

00:12:30.060 people who lose see the world one way and people who win see it a different way and if you're

00:12:34.300 going to win you're going to have to learn to see the world that way you can stay right where you

00:12:37.920 are and things are going to continue to get worse they're not going to stay the same because the

00:12:42.080 people around you are going to get better and better and better so there is no maintaining

00:12:45.360 you're not going to stay where the fuck you are that's it that's absurd yeah you try to stand

00:12:50.580 still and maintain you are by default losing because the market is moving forward at all times

00:12:56.400 okay so it's uh you know i think this comes from a lot of different things but ultimately i think

00:13:04.020 it just comes from listening to people who have never done shit you know yeah it's like i mean

00:13:09.720 i think about your story bro it's like i mean you had to you were 26 when you had to move back with

00:13:13.940 your dad yeah like 26 years old like that's prime bachelor time and you know you're having to move

00:13:19.360 back with your dad to keep shit moving no you know i'm saying but like was that a step well what

00:13:23.380 happened was i had i was living on my own in springfield right and then i moved up here

00:13:28.760 to open the stores here that's right and i didn't have enough money to get a place on my own here

00:13:34.360 you see what i'm saying so i did what the fuck i had to do yeah so yeah at 26 years old

00:13:39.140 i had to fucking move back in with my fucking dad okay like in the prime of my fucking 20s

00:13:46.520 yeah bro that's prime time forget like yeah okay yeah so like what do you think people thought

00:13:52.160 about me they thought i was a fucking loser they thought i was failing at life they thought i was

00:13:57.440 chasing a pipe dream that was never going to work and by the way they told me all those things i

00:14:02.400 heard it from everybody everywhere i went and the people who tried to be supportive it was backhanded

00:14:07.740 support it was like oh man that's that's cool so like you really think this is going to work

00:14:15.840 you know it was shit like that and uh you know yeah it's it's embarrassing but i mean i certainly

00:14:24.240 don't give a fuck now yeah you know what i mean like how'd you not do that what happened what

00:14:28.400 would have happened i wouldn't be here yeah i wouldn't be here yeah yeah that's real man you

00:14:33.920 know i mean fucking millions of people wouldn't change their lives with 75 hard you know millions

00:14:38.840 more people wouldn't change their lives through our fucking brands we built millions of people

00:14:43.540 wouldn't have built businesses off the podcast content that i've done i mean i'd say the fucking

00:14:46.980 impact of me uh going even though i was embarrassed is pretty substantial 100 dude 100 man it takes

00:14:56.580 what it takes right yeah that's it yeah look dude that's the bottom line yeah it fucking takes

00:15:02.000 what it fucking takes you can analyze it you can think about it you can ask people about it

00:15:09.460 You can try to wiggle out of doing the work, but at the end of the day, it's hard to do.

00:15:15.000 And if you're not all in, it's not going to fucking work.

00:15:17.780 That's it.

00:15:18.320 You have to be fucking obsessed because there are other people who are obsessed that you

00:15:24.940 are competing against.

00:15:26.220 I don't know why this is so hard for people to understand.

00:15:29.360 If you are not obsessed with growing your company, if you are not obsessed with winning,

00:15:35.020 get the fuck out of the game because you're going to waste your life and you're going

00:15:38.520 to get your ass beat okay that's what it takes balance is not a real thing for people trying to

00:15:44.080 build a business that's not real at least on a micro scale on a day-to-day scale it's not a real

00:15:50.340 thing you're gonna have late nights you're gonna miss fucking get-togethers you're gonna miss

00:15:55.300 weddings you're gonna miss parties you're gonna lose girlfriends and boyfriends these are things

00:16:00.200 that are gonna fucking happen if you're trying to build something from scratch that is just the

00:16:05.340 reality and everybody wants to have both they want to have the life everybody else has and then

00:16:10.940 they want to have the life that entrepreneurs have at the end okay you don't get both so you

00:16:18.760 either pay the price up front and you get something later which is a risk or you have the balance and

00:16:26.440 all the shit that everybody has and you don't get the shit later it's that simple dude it's that

00:16:31.460 simple i don't know how to say it any other than that any other way than that it's that's what it

00:16:37.520 is and if you're out here trying to justify and mind fuck yourself into thinking that like

00:16:42.980 you get both yeah you think you're going to be the first human in history that gets both

00:16:48.240 gotta be another way yeah there is no other way like dude there's just no other way but the good

00:16:53.300 news is is that there's no risk in it either if you just understand that it's a mathematical

00:16:58.400 formula if you understand that if you win enough days in a row and your average of winning is high

00:17:04.760 enough on a daily basis you're gonna win then what's the fucking risk what's the risk there's

00:17:13.280 no risk it's just a journey i love it man i love it man guys andy question number two

00:17:20.380 let's build on this a little bit uh question number two andy i'm the first person in my

00:17:26.160 family who's even talking about owning a business or building wealth, becoming successful.

00:17:31.720 Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying generations of expectations on my back. And other times I feel

00:17:37.800 guilty because the path I'm choosing looks so different from what my family understands.

00:17:43.380 For someone trying to break generational cycles, how do you stay committed to the future you're

00:17:48.920 building without feeling disconnected from where you came from?

00:17:52.020 look man do you want the life that they have clearly you don't okay very clearly because

00:18:02.380 you have this ambition and this goal and this awareness that you're communicating through this

00:18:06.820 question right now you don't want their life you only get one life okay you do not owe your family

00:18:15.220 if they were farmers for fucking a hundred years and you have a different vision for your life

00:18:21.600 you do not owe your family to be a fucking farmer and be miserable you don't we only have one life

00:18:28.740 okay and if you really want to break generational shit and you actually mean that which most people

00:18:34.400 say shit like that but they don't yeah then you will understand that in order to break that

00:18:40.300 generational cycle you are going to have to win at a scale that makes people look and say holy

00:18:46.980 shit look what the fuck he did okay that means you got to win big not just kind of big that

00:18:52.220 doesn't mean you go from being a farmer to you know something similar like working at the tractor

00:18:57.360 fucking store okay that's right now if that's your level of winning i get it but that's not

00:19:03.620 going to change the fucking generational cycle you're just going to be a guy that did something

00:19:07.320 different you want to change the generational cycle you better win at a scale that every

00:19:11.980 motherfucker that ever knew your name is like holy shit did you hear about what the fuck dj's

00:19:16.680 doing did you fucking hear about that holy shit that's what changes people's fucking generational

00:19:22.920 cycle so so if that's really what you want you got to win so fucking big that it's undeniable

00:19:28.200 okay um but getting back to the question if you don't want what they want there's nothing wrong

00:19:35.960 with that okay and if you have decent parents at all or people that care about you they want you

00:19:40.900 to do better than them all right but a lot of people don't have decent parents a lot of people

00:19:44.620 have shitty parents and um i was blessed to have good parents but i'm telling you i i thought

00:19:51.160 everybody's parents wanted them to do better than them because that's what my parents wanted for me

00:19:54.760 all right but not everybody's like that and uh if you got parents like that that want you to

00:20:00.740 do what they did because that's the level of winning that they did and they they're insecure

00:20:05.800 about you going out doing other things and then they hide it behind this idea of well i don't

00:20:10.040 want you to get hurt um you got shitty parents i don't know what to tell you sorry okay that's

00:20:15.420 right and uh they're not gonna believe in you they're not gonna support you they're not gonna

00:20:19.320 clap for you until you've done it and everybody else in the world recognizes what the fuck you

00:20:24.180 done and then they're gonna be like man i was i was wrong you killed it i'm proud of you maybe

00:20:31.000 yeah if they're real shitty they'll fucking hate you for it yeah or take the credit for it that's

00:20:35.960 my boy look dude you know i'm saying yeah yeah i mean look dude i don't know what to tell you man

00:20:40.740 people get a different they get they draw different straws man when it comes to your

00:20:44.480 parents you don't get to control who they are or what you're born into and uh you've got to be

00:20:48.580 adult enough to unemotionally evaluate the situation and not just tie your life to what

00:20:57.680 your parents want for you when it's not something that you want because here's what will happen

00:21:01.840 you'll get 10 20 30 years down the road and you'll realize that you did this for their approval

00:21:07.600 and they don't even recognize that you did it for your approval anyway they just think that

00:21:11.940 it's something that you just did and then they'll think they'll probably say shit like this

00:21:17.260 well you know it's not like you did anything special with your life you just did what everybody

00:21:23.020 else does so like dude you're going to try to bend your whole life to get approval from people

00:21:27.120 that will never approve of you so at the end of the day what's it come down to comes down to what

00:21:31.260 the fuck you want and you have to be adult enough to evaluate that and have enough thick skin and

00:21:38.360 emotional maturity to not connect your outcome to other people's approval and also not hate your

00:21:46.180 parents for not approving you don't have to hate them because they don't approve you can look at

00:21:49.880 them and say well that's what they think that's okay i should still go to christmas and and

00:21:55.220 thanksgiving and i could be cool but i'm gonna do my thing and you know that's what an adult does

00:22:00.380 you know does it say how old he is no it doesn't yeah well if you're over the age 18 uh you're

00:22:05.920 supposed to think for yourself so i you know i i personally i think this is a fucking irrelevant

00:22:14.680 like man i hate i hate when i get like this because i forget that this is hard for people

00:22:24.660 when they're starting but from where i sit it's irrelevant it just is your life's going to be so

00:22:33.000 much better so much more rewarding you're going to have so much more leverage on everything around

00:22:37.620 you you're going to have so much more financial freedom so much more satisfaction and fulfillment

00:22:42.700 in your life like it's it's it's such a small thing to worry about in comparison to what the

00:22:49.240 big picture is and what what you're going to get out of it yeah yeah it's just hard for people when

00:22:54.120 they're in it though like that of course when you're 18 19 20 and your parents are all of a

00:22:58.340 sudden you know these people that you love and are supposed to be your biggest supporters or

00:23:02.160 all of a sudden they have these conflicting opinions about what it is that you should do

00:23:06.580 versus what you feel you should do you don't trust yourself you know you're like fuck dude i don't

00:23:11.100 know my parents know right you know it's scary right um i get it but from where i sit i'm just

00:23:18.100 telling you like if you were like i'm sitting in front of me right now and i would tell you in

00:23:22.840 front of your fucking parents too because i could look right at your fucking parents and be like yeah

00:23:26.960 you know you're actually failing them as a fucking parent right now you understand that

00:23:31.220 and they would sit there because i'm me and fucking hold their little head down and be like

00:23:36.020 oh that's not what i meant to do well that's what you're fucking doing asshole okay the whole point

00:23:41.140 of having fucking kids and raising them right is so that they can do better than you that's the

00:23:46.220 plan okay if you're a good parent the winning the winning in parenthood maybe i'm wrong i don't

00:23:52.660 have kids so i could fucking see it totally wrong but if i did and i was judging myself

00:23:59.660 if i was a good parent or not i would look and i would say did i set this kid up to do better than

00:24:05.160 me do they have the right character traits are they good to other people are they do they have

00:24:12.160 integrity are they going to surpass what i did in my life and those are the things that i would rate

00:24:17.440 being a good parent on you know some of the things but you know that's a big one i think

00:24:22.320 i think a lot of parents don't want their kids to win because it doesn't they don't want to be

00:24:26.860 exposed for what they were not able to do their own insecurity yeah yeah i would like to add like

00:24:33.720 a little bit to that because i feel like there's also another side of it is that sometimes the

00:24:39.360 kids have a bigger vision than what the parents have of course so according to the parents they

00:24:46.080 feel like they're doing the right thing by asking the kid to do what they have seen been done all

00:24:51.840 the time for sure and what happens on the other end of it is the kid feels like because the parents

00:24:58.360 have provided me all these years there's a very unexplained indirect pressure on the kid yeah

00:25:05.320 like you take like you always say you're loyal to the wrong people and people misunderstand the

00:25:10.700 idea of loyalty that comes from this unexplained indirect pressure from the parents to the kid

00:25:19.000 that if you don't do what they tell you to do, you're somehow disrespecting all the stuff that

00:25:26.700 you have done for them. Well, I mean, here's the deal. This is called being an adult and this is

00:25:31.640 called maturity on both the parent and the child. Parents have to get to a point where they realize

00:25:36.940 that you're not going to tell your kid what the fuck to do and kids have to get to the point where

00:25:41.400 they realize that they got to do what they think is right and that's called breaking out and becoming

00:25:46.300 an adult you know but yeah i agree with you it comes from insecurity bro and also like you've

00:25:51.280 talked about self-awareness too like how much self-awareness that the parent have versus the

00:25:56.440 kid have and how are they interacting with each other and accepting each other i mean dude let's

00:26:01.580 be real you grow up thinking your parents are superheroes okay and then you get out in the real

00:26:10.400 world you get to be i don't know 17 18 16 17 18 19 and you know that uncle that you thought was the

00:26:17.820 coolest uncle in the world you kind of realize like oh guys fucked up right that's right and

00:26:23.340 you start seeing the fucking world for what the fuck it is that's right okay what yeah that's

00:26:27.740 right that's right so so like you know i mean i think that's just a part of life dude it doesn't

00:26:32.520 mean you have to like think they're shitty that's right you got to realize that maybe they don't

00:26:37.700 know what the fuck they're talking about absolutely you know you know how many people

00:26:40.740 told me that i shouldn't do what i do and and shouldn't do what i did i mean fuck bro most

00:26:44.920 people most people most people not a few people most people at some point

00:26:51.600 communicated to me whether it was directly or indirectly or forward to my face or like backhanded

00:26:59.540 that what they thought i was doing was fucking stupid stupid totally stupid and i can't even

00:27:05.160 imagine at your scale but i have experienced that in my life too people have told me all my life

00:27:10.080 and these are direct relatives that told me if i don't stop drawing i would never be able to do

00:27:15.180 anything in my life yeah but going back to the parent topic i was thinking the other day is

00:27:21.600 a boy or a girl becomes a man or a woman when they realize that their parents were not always

00:27:28.000 right yeah and then they also at the same time realize that it's not their fault because they're

00:27:32.900 also doing it for the first time i agree that's the majority thing i was talking about yeah it

00:27:39.340 goes exactly i mean they're bad look how many people fucking dude look how many of these people

00:27:44.680 like blame their parents for their outcome that's like oh my parents were shit bro you realize that

00:27:50.960 your parents didn't know what the fuck they were doing either they did the best they could

00:27:53.720 that like that also goes in line with what you said like people have 100 times worse conditions

00:27:59.980 than you and they have done 100 times better than you bro those those people are what we call

00:28:05.240 pussies okay so i i don't i you know i'm not here to help the pussies bro that's right i'm here to

00:28:12.920 help the people who have that fucking inner drive that inner ambition that inner desire to be great

00:28:18.600 and give them the tools to do that i'm not here to save everybody from their fucking pussy them

00:28:23.240 okay one of the shifts that happened to me when i started listening to you and i'm 100 sure every

00:28:29.120 listener will relate to it is i stopped blaming everybody else for my conditions and i took

00:28:35.040 responsibility and i said like okay i've done some mistakes this is my condition what can i do yeah

00:28:41.640 go from there yeah it could be a small scale could be a medium scale whatever it is but i

00:28:46.440 think that's a commonality between everybody that hears you in the podcast is they stop blaming

00:28:51.860 somebody else and take responsibility well also dude like that's part of the reason 75 hard and

00:28:56.860 live hard exists bro because what it does for people is it teaches people that you are in

00:29:02.780 control of most of the things that produce the outcome that you want okay is there chance are

00:29:09.780 there circumstances is there stuff called luck maybe yeah okay but at the end of the day you

00:29:18.300 don't punt your whole life because you might hit a bad spot or you might get unlucky you control

00:29:24.120 all the things you control what you eat what you drink how you move how you train who you

00:29:29.020 associate with what information you put in your brain etc etc etc and you continue to control those

00:29:35.020 and invest in those at a high level and when the bumps come they come you're gonna keep moving

00:29:39.440 That's right. But like most people will punt their entire lives because they're afraid of something that might happen.

00:29:47.240 And then that thing that ends up happening as a result of that is a thousand times worse.

00:29:52.240 That's right. You get to live in purgatory your entire life wondering what might have been had I had the courage to actually go.

00:30:00.620 And really, dude, is there anything worse than that?

00:30:03.560 Is there anything worse than sitting around at 50 or 60 years old and thinking, fuck, I wasted my whole youth because I was scared.

00:30:18.000 Personally, dude, I can't think of anything worse than that.

00:30:20.220 What you're saying is actually proven.

00:30:22.640 There was an ER nurse who used to attend terminally ill patients.

00:30:26.980 And because she has done it for decades, she actually compiled everything and put it in a book.

00:30:31.420 And what you just said is one of the top five regrets of people who are on their deathbed is that they wish that they could have done more, taken more chances and did what they actually wanted to do.

00:30:43.480 Bro, also, though, I mean, there's a flip side.

00:30:46.160 Look, dude, you can't have it all.

00:30:48.240 OK, you know, my brother.

00:30:50.220 was last week and i had people um you know that i haven't talked to in a while reach out and had

00:30:56.360 some conversations with them and stuff and i was talking to one of my friends and um you know they

00:31:01.920 were like you know my kids are my kids are getting ready to leave the house you know and i got

00:31:08.300 divorced and you know i don't want to be alone and you know they were asking me if i was happy

00:31:14.540 with how things were going and i'm like well you know i got this great business i've built a lot

00:31:18.780 of things i've helped a lot of people but you know uh i was never able to have kids okay and it wasn't

00:31:24.320 it wasn't my choice it just never happened and so like dude no matter what you're gonna have

00:31:31.620 things that you wish you had okay but like that's the perfect life that's right no that's the name

00:31:40.320 of the game dude and like you have to be able to be grateful for the life that you do have

00:31:46.000 intentionally like meaning what I mean by that is like sitting down and saying yeah you know what

00:31:52.400 I don't have everything that I want but man I got this and this is really good and I got this too

00:31:57.440 and that's really good and I got this and other people don't have that right but it was an

00:32:01.840 interesting conversation because it was like the two sides of the coin you know what I mean this

00:32:06.800 person had spent their life raising their kids and now it's kind of like well what the fuck am

00:32:11.580 i going to do now and i've spent my life building this and i'm kind of like what the fuck am i going

00:32:16.340 to do now you know what i'm saying so like it's uh it's reality man and it's just about like what

00:32:21.920 what kind of what trades are you willing to make and i don't know you know for most people that

00:32:28.520 build businesses they're still able to have kids so like i just wasn't one of them so you know

00:32:35.020 the point is is that

00:32:36.660 you can either pay now

00:32:41.600 and have what you want later

00:32:43.440 or you can have what you want now

00:32:45.520 and you can pay later

00:32:46.860 and that is just the paradox of life

00:32:49.740 it's going to be hard now

00:32:51.500 and easier later or it's going to be

00:32:53.620 easy now and hard later that is the fucking

00:32:55.560 way that life works dude

00:32:56.760 and the cool thing about taking the

00:32:59.620 hard path early

00:33:00.880 is that you get so acclimated

00:33:03.780 the shit being hard then when it's hard later you don't even fucking notice it that's just like what

00:33:07.480 it is that's right yeah you know like the fucking world could fall down on my head and like for an

00:33:12.360 hour i'm gonna be like fuck that's right and then i'm like all right well what are we gonna do

00:33:15.920 let's fix this the simplest analogy is when you start working out what used to be really hard for

00:33:22.060 you is years later is your warm-up yeah same thing yeah dude it's it's it's just the way the

00:33:28.140 world works man not you don't get to have everything dude you know and people that say

00:33:32.520 they have everything are lying okay people that say they have everything and pretend like they

00:33:38.460 don't have shit that they that they want but they don't have there's a pitch coming oh okay like i

00:33:45.640 see i see these dudes on the internet and they're like i got this great business and i got this

00:33:50.220 great wife and i got this great thing and i got this this this this by my course buy my shit how

00:33:54.680 to do it yeah it's all fucking theatrics bro you know people are getting disenfranchised with that

00:34:01.620 too like all the influencers that pretend to be pretty all the time everything's perfect all the

00:34:06.460 time now people are getting desensitized with that yeah bro i have to peel myself out of bed

00:34:11.880 like three days a week bro like you know what i'm saying like yeah dude like the fuck it's just the

00:34:18.900 way it is man it's called fucking life now do you want to have life with some money or do you want

00:34:24.360 to have life with no money that's right yeah you know you said that i can tell you this i've had

00:34:28.460 life with no money and it was a lot fucking harder than when i have life now and i have some money

00:34:34.420 that's right because you know what like i yeah dude you know i was feeling down yesterday and

00:34:39.620 i bought a motorcycle you know what i'm saying like like like it made me feel good for a couple

00:34:44.800 hours and i didn't have to stress about it i'm just like yeah i'll i'll take that yeah you know

00:34:49.880 do i need it no but it made me feel good for a couple hours like i don't know what like that's

00:34:55.200 real shit bro oh and that doesn't make you happy no shit but it made me happy for an hour

00:34:59.920 fuck dude that's real man yeah that's real bro well we got one more dude is buy buy everybody

00:35:07.520 likes to buy shit yeah it's cool everybody likes to get new shit that's fun dude yeah bro like it

00:35:13.320 is what it is man i don't know i don't know what would i say yeah that's the dj is the king of that

00:35:19.240 what is it impulsive purchases oh no i like deals yeah impulsive deals impulsive deals yeah

00:35:26.360 he loves them time shares yeah man guys uh there's got one more question for you though

00:35:33.260 guys andy question number three andy i'm 24 and i've heard you talk about how important

00:35:41.800 intent is and i think tim grover said it in a way uh that be where your feet are or something

00:35:48.820 to that effect my question can you talk more about why it's important to be more intentional

00:35:54.140 about your time and then how you become great at it i think a lot of people struggle with this

00:35:59.560 i do for sure um where i can be physically somewhere but not there at all oh man you know

00:36:04.800 what i don't really i'm not the best at that um that's something i struggle with as well you know

00:36:12.780 like even when i'm somewhere where i should be present i'm thinking about other things

00:36:19.100 but i think everybody does yeah i mean especially now with phones and shit bro yeah we could be

00:36:23.820 you know i think connected but not yeah yeah i think um i think it's a practice like anything

00:36:31.580 i think you got to practice it you know like put your phone fucking in a cabinet or something you

00:36:37.100 know and just kind of like be there um i'm not the best at that yeah i don't even feel qualified to

00:36:41.760 answer it to be honest like my mind's always in a million different places at every single point

00:36:46.700 in time and uh you know you could literally be talking to me and i look like i'm hearing

00:36:52.560 everything you say and i'm hearing literally nothing yeah and those of you that uh have

00:36:57.440 relationships you've probably gotten okay at that that's right that's right but it's it's kind of

00:37:03.100 like that for me and it comes in and out and you know when i know i have to listen i will listen

00:37:07.880 and when it's not and this is going to sound selfish but when it's not something i truly

00:37:11.760 care about i just fucking tune it the fuck out and i don't hear it yeah and um it's probably

00:37:18.700 something i struggle with uh the most um and i think it just takes you know practice of being

00:37:25.880 intentional i will say this that when i do that never one time has something happened where the

00:37:32.920 world fell apart never one time did you know the uh the businesses come to an end burn down yeah

00:37:40.120 like it nothing bad's ever happened it's like a paranoia that you have as a business owner and i

00:37:45.400 think that's natural when you build something from literal scratch from nothing you are so

00:37:52.220 concerned about it all the time because for the first number of years dude you are in a place

00:37:59.780 where one or two things could happen and you could literally be out of business okay and with

00:38:05.760 social media that is still kind of the case like there are things that can happen that put a big

00:38:11.700 dent in your business if you're not like watching closely and um you know i talk to my dad about

00:38:19.860 this all the time because like back in his day you know you you you close the door five o'clock

00:38:23.720 dude it was business hours yeah yeah and i think that this idea uh and this is kind of

00:38:31.360 fucked up the world bro because it's fucked up families and it's fucked up culture and it's it's

00:38:37.200 been bad but competitors are gonna compete right and when it changed from you lock the door and go

00:38:46.780 home to it doesn't matter if the door is locked business is still going on the competitors the

00:38:53.800 hungriest people saw that as an opportunity to get ahead and it was no different than when people

00:38:59.280 were using steroids in baseball like you got two or three guys start using it then well fuck dude

00:39:03.940 it's like andy pettis said when he got caught he's like hey man um all these other dudes are doing it

00:39:09.840 and i got a 20 million dollar contract so you're telling me that you just wouldn't do it because

00:39:17.500 to compete and everybody else you have to do it everybody's using the chainsaw and you're still

00:39:21.180 using that you're gonna lose you're gonna lose and so when people started putting that time in

00:39:25.320 and seeing that as an opportunity the hungriest people they made everybody have to operate that

00:39:29.900 way and uh so entrepreneurship now is much different than it was 30 years ago and um not

00:39:38.360 in a good way you know um and i don't think that's going to change so i think it's irrelevant

00:39:44.000 to gripe about yeah but um it's different and you know you are signing up for a different life but

00:39:50.780 like we talked about in the second question you know there's a different outcome for that life

00:39:54.280 so you know i think it's just practice i you know if i had kids i'm sure i would be a much

00:40:00.560 more serious about that um like my brother's very serious about that yeah okay like you cannot call

00:40:07.200 my brother when he leaves the office he will not answer his fucking phone he fucking won't he won't

00:40:12.720 answer for me yeah he won't answer like you just it's tomorrow yeah and he's great about it and i

00:40:18.080 admire that um and i don't think it costs us anything for him to be that way you know what

00:40:25.060 i mean yeah so it's just uh it's a mental addiction that you get into especially when you're very

00:40:32.020 hungry um and if you're gonna have a family i think it's important to like really get that

00:40:38.840 curtailed in i don't have the typical go home you know deal so for sure for me it's not something

00:40:46.440 i've ever had to like really like really really curtail in you know what i mean so i i'm probably

00:40:53.360 the wrong guy to ask but i'm just telling you again you know all these people that act like

00:40:58.720 they got it all figured out they're full of shit dude and and and dude you want to know who's

00:41:02.960 really full of shit it's like z sean said a minute ago it's the ones that act the most perfect it's

00:41:08.320 the ones that flaunt their marriage it's the ones that flaunt their their perfect life it's the ones

00:41:12.980 that act like they have it all figured out and then they try to market to you how you could do

00:41:17.220 it too that's right and it's funny because karma always comes around for those people their

00:41:21.300 relationship falls apart there's a big breakup something and then it fractures their whole

00:41:25.540 thing i've seen it a gazillion times million i actually think people that market their marriage

00:41:29.880 are fucking probably like i think those are like the shittiest people if i'm being completely honest

00:41:34.120 bro they got the biggest closet it's super weird not only that it's your fucking family

00:41:38.060 and second of all you don't fucking know how to be you don't have a perfect marriage you're

00:41:43.060 fucking lying yeah what's the standard you're lying compared to what you're lying yeah you're

00:41:47.000 lying okay you don't have it and uh nobody has it all nobody has it right and nobody's a fucking

00:41:52.620 expert at it the way i see it is okay person a is married to person b they might be really good

00:41:59.840 doing that but i'm not person a my wife's not person b we are so different than that person

00:42:05.380 dude how can i take love and marriage advice because it's it's hope and that's hope and

00:42:11.060 convenience are the only two products that are ever fucking sold okay and people live in a shitty

00:42:16.000 marriage with a shitty life they see something like that and they say well i hope that maybe i

00:42:21.120 could do that too and then they buy their shit and i just think it's i think it's low level scum

00:42:25.420 shit that's my personal opinion of it dude last thought on this uh i just don't i just i that's

00:42:30.800 my personal opinion of it like i don't think that that's something that people should be marketing

00:42:36.700 and i don't think that people that are really good at business do that like you build businesses

00:42:41.860 that's right you know what i mean that's right uh last thought on the the intentionality piece

00:42:46.680 of it too because dude i think about this all the time you know you i'll be scrolling and i see

00:42:50.580 like the videos of like the like concerts from like the 80s right and you look at the crowd

00:42:56.520 and obviously this is before cell phones and shit and it's just people just there you know i'm saying

00:43:01.300 like and they're in that moment they really they can really you know relive that concert a million

00:43:06.180 fucking times in their lifetime and it's just like it's so weird how society just in general

00:43:09.920 has moved from that how many times do you how many times do you think people that record fireworks

00:43:15.400 watch the fireworks yes right the answer is fucking zero zero how many times how many times

00:43:22.580 do people that go to a concert yeah post pick up their phone and look at the concert on their phone

00:43:27.060 they don't do it yeah bro it's stupid it's so there's a study that actually came out that talks

00:43:31.980 about first it was attending the event that gave you the endorphins that gave you the dopamine hit

00:43:37.720 next it moved to actually capturing it so i have it captured i'm here my phone i'm here i was here

00:43:43.620 i can capture i captured it and now it has elevated it has elevated because now the people

00:43:48.720 are getting the dopamine hit from people commenting oh it's so cool after you post oh yeah

00:43:53.280 that's what's happening people are theatrically living for the approval of people that they've

00:43:58.700 never even met in real life that's right it's weird it's so weird that's why people have this

00:44:03.780 fake online personas yeah where they just want to show you the highlights well it's also why when

00:44:08.260 you meet a lot of these people in real life they're nothing like what they are online oh

00:44:11.900 somebody said that to me i don't remember who said it to me but this guy was telling that he

00:44:17.740 went to a business expo and most of the people were like really really young doing business

00:44:23.360 that's cool but then he when he was actually going to talk to them they were so awkward and

00:44:28.560 could not stand a real conversation because they're so accustomed to doing everything online

00:44:33.540 and typing for everything i mean behind the camera well it's the same reason why young dudes can't go

00:44:38.520 up to girls in public we never had to do it yeah you know what i'm saying dm easy yeah dm's easy

00:44:44.520 yeah but like you know i mean look bro you can't put the genie back in the bottle it's not going

00:44:51.280 to happen the best you can do is learn how to manage it appropriately and uh you know this is

00:44:56.860 why we're seeing uh in-person experience makes such a good comeback everything that was really

00:45:03.180 hot in the 90s is coming back right because people are recognizing what we've been talking

00:45:08.020 about they're recognizing the damage that social media has done to culture and they're over it and

00:45:14.960 they're looking for authentic human connections they're looking to do business with companies

00:45:20.020 that are that way um they're looking to spend time with their friends they're looking to be

00:45:26.040 in a community and you know that's a lot of companies are going to really struggle

00:45:32.100 because they've never done business they can't make that adjustment i love it because that's

00:45:36.180 how we built our business right so you also said that years ago yeah yeah this is going to come

00:45:41.400 back oh yeah of course bro you know i don't i don't when you've been doing something for as

00:45:45.680 long as i have you know and you have to pay micro attention on a day-by-day basis over the course

00:45:50.360 of decades it's not hard to understand what's happening or see it yeah you know and um it's

00:45:56.940 not some superpower psychic ability it's just me i got pattern recognition over the course of 30

00:46:03.100 years. You know, so it, you know, I think the business, I think a lot of businesses are going

00:46:09.160 to struggle with how to connect with people because they never had to do it. There's a lot

00:46:13.120 of businesses that exist right now that are, that were built in the height of that social media

00:46:20.180 world that are going to have a really hard time adapting to the way that people are going to

00:46:25.740 prefer to do business in the future. And the good thing about me is that I grew up in that era.

00:46:30.700 you know i built a business before the internet came i built a great business when the internet

00:46:35.020 came and i'm going to continue to build great businesses because i understand both worlds

00:46:40.140 so it's real man you know experiential

00:46:43.140 you know in-person human analog connection is just going to continue to get bigger and bigger

00:46:49.500 bigger and i think once it comes back this next time it's not ever going to go back to social

00:46:54.060 it's not meaning social media it's never going to you know the dead internet theory talks about this

00:46:59.580 like over 50 of the accounts on the internet are fucking actually not even real people they're bots

00:47:07.100 so when you think about that and you see all these comments on the internet

00:47:13.460 and you realize like half of these people statistically are bots what are you actually

00:47:21.340 doing you know what i'm saying you're performing for a computer program and

00:47:28.920 wouldn't it be in the social media company's best interest to create mass networks of

00:47:37.160 artificial intelligent people that can communicate with the real people and make them feel

00:47:44.740 like a big deal wouldn't it be in the social media's company's best interest to allow people

00:47:53.840 to gain millions of followers even if those followers weren't real because it makes people

00:48:01.080 be addicted to their program keeps them on the platform okay so like dude let's think about this

00:48:06.660 bro do you know what a million people fucking looks like shit ton of people okay like i just

00:48:11.700 want you to think about this the university of michigan's football stadium and ohio state

00:48:18.740 in nebraska holds roughly 100 000 people okay think about that now i'll think about

00:48:25.860 10 of those or 20 of those or 30 of those one two three million of those people watching someone

00:48:34.500 make stupid ass videos that's not real dude it's not real okay in the personal development world

00:48:42.900 we have this thing that is called asses in seats okay there's lots of people who make content

00:48:50.160 who get all this traffic and they get all these comments and they get all these views

00:48:55.000 but they can't fill a room of a thousand people they can't fill a room of 500 people

00:49:00.960 why is that that's because the fucking shit's fake that's right okay and they're not making

00:49:07.800 a real impact and they're not making a difference they're performing for a few regular people and

00:49:14.100 mostly a computer program and then you think about like that's how you're going to spend your life

00:49:20.280 you know like that's one of the reasons i kind of got out of posting on a regular basis because

00:49:25.820 i'm just like yeah it doesn't really matter like when i sell tickets to shit people show the fuck

00:49:30.480 up but that's because of the cumulative benefit that i've provided for decades right like most

00:49:38.540 people have seen my content most people that are on the internet have seen my content now i might

00:49:43.420 have the most followers all right i might not get the most comments but my shit has been shared

00:49:49.960 cumulatively for 15 years heavily okay and that creates a situation where people have gotten value

00:50:00.880 out of it which creates a situation where when i sell tickets people show the fuck up and

00:50:06.100 you know that's real influence and i'm not just saying that to toot my own horn that's there's a

00:50:12.920 difference between attention and influence and most people want influence but they they mistake

00:50:18.340 it for attention and um you know i think a lot of people waste their lives trying to be you know

00:50:25.920 relevant to people on the internet that might not even be real people and that's kind of fucked up

00:50:31.020 i didn't want to cut you off but i did want to say this point when you said your clips have been

00:50:35.840 shared for the last 15 years and has created real influence i am the proof of that yeah the first

00:50:41.660 time i ever saw any content of you was a compilation in a youtube video and when you when

00:50:50.240 your video came up the mfco podcast was on the screen i started listening to that and then

00:50:56.640 everything in my life slowly gradually changed and now especially after coming and working here

00:51:02.560 being around everybody for the last six years the team you everybody everything in my life has been

00:51:08.600 changed forever now like you said once you realize your potential you can never go back yeah so now

00:51:14.180 i have realized like i can do all of this what i'm doing right now and just like me there are

00:51:19.940 hundreds and hundreds of people who have come for the os event at summer smash event they have

00:51:24.360 changed their lives completely drastically we have hundreds and hundreds of testimonials of that

00:51:30.480 well i mean dude it's just because like i'm trying to put shit out that actually helps people that's

00:51:35.160 right you know i'm trying to tell people the reality like not market to them well it also

00:51:40.980 i was just going to say that doesn't that also tie into the intent like you're doing what i talk

00:51:46.280 about with public speaking you know like i don't know you know if you give people benefit they're

00:51:51.860 gonna buy your shit it's just it's a reciprocal thing you know like yeah i don't know when you

00:51:57.680 first out of curiosity i never asked you this but like were you living in america or were you

00:52:01.320 living in india i was living in america at that time oh i'm serious i was in chicago no that's

00:52:05.520 a good question that's a curious question i was in chicago at that time that's roughly 2016 i moved

00:52:10.680 to uh america in 2014 so like roughly two years i was just curious yeah yeah my older brother was

00:52:18.000 a big uh element in trying to expose me to stuff like this just to get us motivated a little bit

00:52:25.560 yeah and that what got me that's cool yeah that's super cool hell yeah man well guys andy that was

00:52:31.960 three yep all right guys well let's go kick some ass this week and uh we'll see you later

00:52:36.680 don't be a hoe share the show

00:52:40.380 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions

00:52:47.000 in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case

00:52:54.080 Close

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 13, 2026

1043. Q&AF： When To Quit Your Job, Chasing Bigger Dreams & Being Intentional

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