REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 1051. Q&AF： Trusting The Process, Navigating No Man's Land & Building An Empire

00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye

00:00:21.120 to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking

00:00:25.280 reality guys today we have q and a f that's where you submit the questions and we give you

00:00:30.800 the answers dj is going to tell you how you could submit your questions to be answered

00:00:35.460 on the show yeah guys you can email your questions in to ask andy at andy frisella.com you can also

00:00:41.180 click the links in the description below right here and submit your videos for chance to be

00:00:46.300 answered or just drop them simply in the comment section of the q and a f videos on youtube now

00:00:51.620 before we get started if you're new we have shows within the show okay tomorrow you're going to hear

00:00:59.020 CTI that stands for cruise the internet this is where we put topics on the screen we kind of

00:01:04.540 evaluate what's going on in the world we speculate we laugh we make some jokes but then we talk about

00:01:09.540 how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world all right then we're going

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00:01:24.800 they talk about how they were before how they are now and how they use the 75 hard program

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00:01:35.400 program which is the world's most popular mental transformation program ever you can get that for

00:01:43.020 free at episode 208 on the audio feed 208 on the audio feed it's not on youtube there's also a book

00:01:51.900 the book is called the book on mental toughness i know it's super creative but you can get that

00:01:59.220 book at andy for seller.com it is not free but it includes the entire live hard program plus a whole

00:02:04.740 bunch of other information on mental toughness why it's important how to cultivate it and use

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00:02:51.800 do us a favor share those out that helps us grow the show okay so don't be a hoe show all right

00:02:58.380 what's up it's actually selfish when you think about it right like they're keeping all the good

00:03:02.280 information and the laughs and the jokes to themselves they don't want to it's kind of

00:03:06.400 selfish if you ask me you know i'm saying sorry i had to get my uh i had to get my my energy juice

00:03:14.880 here um yeah i do think it's selfish it's selfish you know i'm saying they just want all the laughs

00:03:19.720 of themselves well you know hey it's not just that it's like hey you do you want people to get

00:03:23.700 better do you want society to get better do you want culture to get better then everybody has to

00:03:27.400 get better yeah no i just want to get better i'm not sure right so you know and it is what it is

00:03:34.440 man you know uh the truth of the matter is is we would be the biggest show in the world if

00:03:40.060 everybody paid the fee so pay the fee selfish horse yeah some of them yeah what's going on man

00:03:49.280 oh how you doing good yeah good looking good thank you feeling good yeah yeah sip it

00:03:57.400 i didn't mean that was a little weird bro i don't care what anybody says this is the best flavor

00:04:05.840 bro i don't i don't give a shit what anybody says bro well of course you like that

00:04:11.020 yeah orange is good too bro but i'm a screaming freedom dude it's been a minute since i've had

00:04:17.920 a watermelon uh mainly because i couldn't find none cold yeah can y'all chill like

00:04:24.840 i couldn't find none cold man but they uh somebody just put a cooler out there i guess

00:04:31.360 they're free i don't know i just took it they're free for you yeah all right yeah uh yeah it's

00:04:39.400 great guys we got uh we got we got some really good man i'm i'm telling you dude this is this

00:04:43.940 is the best one bro i almost died earlier i'm not gonna lie that's why i had to get an energy drink

00:04:47.800 like usually like you know this is like the this is about the latest you can i can do in a day

00:04:51.920 You know, I'm saying get me careful, but I fuck I needed it. Yeah, I needed this. I'm died

00:04:57.140 Fucking bomb pop. Yeah, you like those bomb pops. Fuck. Yeah, bro

00:05:01.360 Who don't like bomb pops like when you're a kid and the ice cream dude came by man bomb pops

00:05:05.920 Where it's at a red white and blue how much were bomb pops when you were a kid fuck?

00:05:09.740 I don't know. I didn't pay for him. You're stealing. Oh, I'm simply like yummy. You saw the snow

00:05:14.420 No, they were like a quarter. Yeah, like they were five cents, bro. Is that what you want me to say?

00:05:18.700 they were a nickel

00:05:21.620 yeah they were like they were like 50 cents bro those things are like seven dollars now yeah well

00:05:28.960 that's inflation it's fuck dude like bro i the fucking ice cream man drove by a crib not too

00:05:34.380 long i'm like no keep that shit moving dog bro i love i love when i can hear that ice cream

00:05:38.940 ice cream truck even if i don't even get ice cream i'm like man it's like nostalgia it's

00:05:42.720 nostalgia i love it they still do it uh fuck what was the ice cream truck we had uh mr softies

00:05:48.180 did you guys have those rolling around i don't remember what they were called they all look the

00:05:51.780 same me you know what i'm talking about mr softies it was always like an arab dude oh yeah yeah no

00:05:59.540 i'm serious i'm serious it was always an arab guy selling ice cream to little black kids it was

00:06:04.980 great yeah it was great good times i fucking i love the ice cream truck bro yeah no it's good

00:06:13.980 shit i love the music that it plays like something it's like relaxing yeah we know something fucked

00:06:21.240 up this is this is a god honest truth story right now okay this is how fucked up where i grew up at

00:06:28.860 one time a police officer drove through our neighborhood playing that on the speaker to

00:06:34.680 get all the kids they start locking their ass up i swear to god all the black kids running out bro

00:06:42.560 He started chasing them, man.

00:06:43.820 It was fucked up.

00:06:44.680 Oh, man.

00:06:45.200 What'd they do?

00:06:46.420 They were stealing some shit.

00:06:47.540 They probably held up the fucking ice cream truck.

00:06:50.600 And they were like, here's another one.

00:06:54.760 No, they, like, bro, some badass kids where I grew up.

00:06:57.640 They definitely did something bad.

00:06:59.320 But, yeah, he fucking started playing it on his little loud system.

00:07:01.860 Yeah.

00:07:02.320 God, I love that.

00:07:03.460 Oh, good times, man.

00:07:04.520 That is such a good drink.

00:07:05.900 Yeah, it is.

00:07:06.880 It is.

00:07:07.640 But, yeah, man, guys, it is.

00:07:08.980 Oh, I got some fucking great news when it comes to the drink.

00:07:12.560 I finally got

00:07:14.040 what I've always wanted.

00:07:17.680 Blue Blitz is being discontinued.

00:07:21.780 You're such a hater.

00:07:23.360 The fucking worst flavor of our entire

00:07:26.000 line is finally being

00:07:28.100 removed of our core four.

00:07:29.740 And it's going to be replaced by Silver

00:07:31.700 Lightning, which is the appropriate

00:07:33.440 move. It's a good move.

00:07:35.300 It's the appropriate move.

00:07:37.940 Only peasants like the blue.

00:07:40.620 Blues for

00:07:41.380 peasants.

00:07:42.560 and weird ass kids

00:07:44.980 bro we didn't have blue shit growing up

00:07:49.620 like it was like a it came after

00:07:51.340 like my generation everything was like

00:07:53.540 grape orange red

00:07:54.820 and then all of a sudden kool-aid came out with like

00:07:57.380 blue yeah and then it became

00:07:59.380 a thing and like dude it just

00:08:01.480 never sat right

00:08:03.520 with me

00:08:03.880 so this feels like that blue

00:08:07.480 shit it feels personal

00:08:08.740 I'm glad

00:08:10.240 bro i found that out and i was so happy yeah i'm like finally dude you can't argue that

00:08:18.320 silver lightning is far superior no i'm not no i'm not arguing that okay it's way better i mean

00:08:23.100 i wouldn't i'm not like at the point like yeah fuck blue blitz it needs to be discontinued like

00:08:27.200 it's a good flavor you know it's not maybe not core it's it's the best blue flavor of any of

00:08:32.900 the other flavors of any company but like it's still blue blitz yeah fuck is blue blitz yeah

00:08:39.000 That's right.

00:08:39.660 That's right.

00:08:40.280 Yeah.

00:08:42.560 Anyway, that's good news.

00:08:44.680 That's good news.

00:08:46.200 Oh, my God.

00:08:47.000 You can tell I was excited about that.

00:08:48.360 I mean, listen, you got to get it out.

00:08:50.060 Yeah.

00:08:52.320 But it's Monday, and we have to make some people better today.

00:08:56.180 Yeah.

00:08:56.960 All right.

00:08:57.280 Now, guys, we told you it was coming back.

00:08:59.480 We're here, and we got some really cool submissions coming your way.

00:09:04.920 So let's just get into it.

00:09:06.500 Guys, Andy, our first submission.

00:09:09.000 Hi, Mr. Frisella. My name is Tyler. I am a 22-year-old aspiring orchestral bass

00:09:16.320 trombonist. My question for you is, how do you trust the process? This is something that a lot

00:09:23.200 of my mentors, a lot of my teachers tell me. Always trust the process to be patient. For me,

00:09:30.840 my own experience I want to win an orchestra job so bad and I want to just I just want it so bad

00:09:41.400 but the problem some you know during the process you know I am I get very frustrated with myself

00:09:47.480 sometimes especially when I'm practicing and I'm having some difficulty with certain things

00:09:52.360 it's very I get very frustrated and I go through these ups and downs

00:09:58.600 periodically and there are times or where I do trust process and there are

00:10:03.940 times where I don't trust the process you know how do you trust the work that

00:10:09.580 you're doing now will pay off in 10 20 20 years from now

00:10:15.940 that's a great question you know and I think a lot of people struggle with that

00:10:19.120 And I actually like the fact that it's such a the context of the question has to do with joining an orchestra, not just building a business, because this concept is applicable to anything that you want to be great.

00:10:32.600 OK, now let me say this to start.

00:10:36.680 The fact that you are frustrated, the fact that you get mad when things aren't moving fast enough, that's a fucking great thing.

00:10:45.860 OK, because most people are the opposite.

00:10:47.740 it. They're lazy. They think it's just going to happen. They think that it's just going

00:10:52.140 to pan out and things are going to be okay. And guess what? They're fucking not. That's

00:10:56.720 the reality of winning. It is not going to be okay unless you force it to be okay. And

00:11:02.980 that is the biggest misconception when it comes to the idea of patience that we could

00:11:08.360 possibly have. Okay. So to answer your question, before I answer your question, you have the

00:11:16.700 right mentality. That is the right mentality of a winner, okay? Winners are constantly frustrated.

00:11:24.260 They're constantly pushing. They're constantly questioning if they're doing enough. Losers

00:11:29.740 are the people who automatically assume that they are doing enough, okay? Winners always think

00:11:37.600 there's more to do and that they have to go harder. Losers think they've done enough work.

00:11:41.900 That's the, there's a big difference between that mentality. Okay. So the mentality that you have

00:11:47.780 as a young man saying, I want this and I want this now, and I fucking want it more than anything

00:11:53.720 is exactly the mentality that you have to have to become great. It's exactly the mentality. Now

00:12:00.480 let's talk about reality. Okay. For you to become great at anything, you have to put in the work

00:12:11.160 And the time that compounds over that process is always going to be part of the recipe.

00:12:17.540 You can't just go hard for two or three days or four days and then say, oh, well, I put

00:12:24.240 in the work this we're talking about years and decades.

00:12:28.040 And just like you said, how do I know it's going to pay off 10 years from now, 20 years

00:12:33.000 from now?

00:12:33.540 You don't know unless you make it pay off.

00:12:36.820 That's the point.

00:12:37.720 Okay. So you have to force your dreams into reality through relentless daily actions that

00:12:46.260 move you forward. All right. And even with that aggressiveness, the daily actions, the daily

00:12:52.960 practice, the daily, you know, learning and applying the lessons, it's still going to take

00:13:00.600 time. And this is the concept that I talk about all the time called aggressive patience. Okay.

00:13:06.220 you got when most people hear you got to be patient and things will work out they hear

00:13:12.800 patience as i'm going to put my feet up on the desk i'm going to do a little bit of work i'm

00:13:19.440 going to i'm going to i'm going to you know and eventually it'll be my time not accurate you will

00:13:24.580 lose you will fucking lose that way okay you have to go intense with urgency and like discipline

00:13:33.160 every single day and then you have to understand that it's still going to take time and that's

00:13:37.460 where the patience comes in so we're going to be aggressive on our daily actions we're going to be

00:13:42.540 aggressive with you know our pursuit of becoming great we're going to be relentless and yes dude

00:13:48.900 you're going to get frustrated you're going to get you know you're going to go through peaks

00:13:53.580 where you have this you're like fuck yeah i'm killing it everything's going good i'm definitely

00:13:58.380 going to make it and then things didn't happen fast enough so you're like fuck it's not going

00:14:02.660 to work I'm probably wasting all my time real winners that become great they push through all

00:14:08.640 that shit and they ignore how they feel on the day the days they feel great they go hard on the

00:14:13.880 days they feel low they go hard and they just understand and quote unquote trust that that

00:14:19.880 process will lead to where they want to go and guess what it will the reason that it doesn't

00:14:24.900 for other people is because on the days they feel like they're killing it they'll they'll do

00:14:29.480 everything that they can do, right? On the days where they're frustrated, they'll like,

00:14:33.720 you know, fuck this and they'll take a day off, right? People who become great do the same actions

00:14:41.040 with the same level of intensity every single day, regardless of how they're feeling. So for

00:14:47.440 this young man, your key is to never lose that drive and that hunger. And you shouldn't look at

00:14:55.640 that frustration as a negative thing I look at that as somebody who cares a lot about what it

00:15:02.600 is they want to do and the fact that you feel that way is a great sign that you will get where

00:15:07.720 you want to go as long as you don't let the emotional highs and lows affect what you do

00:15:13.620 on a daily basis in terms of you practicing your craft to become great at it and I love this

00:15:19.080 question too because as you said it's a great question to literally anything right like I mean

00:15:22.840 obviously a lot of people listen to you for your business advice and your entrepreneurship

00:15:26.600 advice right but i mean whether you want to be a fucking uh the best trombonist that has ever

00:15:31.840 existed success and you've said it before in a way it's an equation yeah it's a fucking equation

00:15:37.320 and i think i've i've struggled with the the time variable of that equation also but like it makes

00:15:42.660 me it's like farming right like you if you plant the seed and you fucking watered it you know you

00:15:47.080 watered it you know you planted it it might not sprout in fucking five days but you got to keep

00:15:52.080 fucking tending to it and eventually you'll have fucking something yeah right yeah talk about that

00:15:56.240 equation of success well it's it's very simple it's the it's the result of the actions that you

00:16:01.760 take on a daily basis compounded over time yeah okay depending on where you start and how skilled

00:16:07.740 you are in the beginning and what maybe your natural talents might be that's different for

00:16:12.580 everybody okay but what lets people become great is understanding that it is not about their natural

00:16:21.920 talents. It is not about where they started. It is not about the advantages that someone may or

00:16:27.200 may not have in the beginning. It is about what they are willing to do on a day by day by day

00:16:33.500 basis over the course of time. So for someone who starts out a little bit ahead, they might have

00:16:37.480 less time to go than you. So what? So what? Okay. We hear this in business all the time. Well,

00:16:44.400 this person, they started on third base and they thought they hit a triple. Yeah. So what? That

00:16:49.060 ain't you you did it so you're gonna have to do a little more fucking work it's gonna take a little

00:16:54.040 more time what are you gonna do not do what it is you know you want to do in your whole life the

00:16:59.040 thing you desire more than anything because it takes you more time than the next guy the fuck

00:17:04.260 are you talking about okay it is going to take more time for some people than it takes other

00:17:12.880 people and that is not an excuse for someone to just punt and say oh well they had an advantage

00:17:19.680 that i didn't have who fucking cares bro what are we talking about like think of this kid was like

00:17:25.840 well you know i want to be in the orchestra and i want to be this i want this more than anything

00:17:31.280 but tommy down the street he grew up playing since he was three so he has 20 more years of experience

00:17:38.160 on me so i'm just gonna fucking quit okay like that that's ridiculous shit that's ridiculous

00:17:44.020 shit we hear this in business all the time well this guy had rich parents this guy got investors

00:17:50.780 this guy grew up in this kind of environment this guy did that so what you're gonna fucking

00:17:56.040 punt your entire life because someone else started out a little bit more ahead of you

00:18:00.740 that makes no sense and and honestly people who quit for that reasons never had it in the first

00:18:06.600 place they never had it in the first place so it's kind of a moot point but it does annoy the

00:18:12.520 shit out of me because it's like dude what are you talking about oh so you had to start you grew

00:18:19.220 up in a bad neighborhood you were poor you had shitty parents but you still have this dream

00:18:24.540 so you're going to quit because of what happened in the past or the circumstances that you were

00:18:30.060 born into like that doesn't even make fucking sense bro and so much so so many people quit

00:18:37.060 because they spend so much time analyzing the advantages or disadvantages or the quote-unquote

00:18:44.480 fairness of what someone else's situation is that they totally obliterate their own chance of success

00:18:51.360 guess what motherfucker it's not fucking fair it's never gonna be fair fair is a word that

00:18:59.680 people use when shit doesn't go the way they want it to go. That is what fair is about. You have to

00:19:05.940 understand that every single person that ever built anything in the history of motherfucking

00:19:10.920 earth understands that fair is not an element of the equation. It doesn't matter. Some people are

00:19:18.240 going to have to do more. Some people are going to have to go harder. Some people are going to

00:19:21.800 have to go longer. But if you're willing to do whatever the fuck it takes, you can get where

00:19:25.860 you want to go that's the reality okay so let's be real about this it doesn't fucking matter what

00:19:32.700 anybody else is doing it matters what you're doing and it matters how good you do it and it matters

00:19:37.140 how consistent you do it and it matters how long you do it to allow those things to compound over

00:19:42.260 time and by the way if you want a system that actually does this for you you can join operator

00:19:48.960 standard and we've built this with technology to where literally if you put in your fucking goal

00:19:53.720 it will backtrack to the daily tasks that you need to do to become great if you follow the play

00:19:59.740 you can't lose period okay and it does it for you it's going to totally reprogram your idea of what

00:20:06.140 winning is and take all the guesswork out of it so anyway i love the question but more than the

00:20:12.880 question i love this kid's mentality bro that hunger you could feel it through his video yeah

00:20:17.280 you know he fucking said i want it more than fucking anything that is the level that it takes

00:20:22.680 you have to fucking want it more than fucking anything you have to be obsessed with it that is

00:20:29.380 the reality of of high level achievement it's not casual it's not fun it's all the time it's fun

00:20:36.240 it's fun but dude you have to be obsessed it can't be an afterthought it can't be a maybe it

00:20:42.660 can't be a well this would be nice it has to be an obsession and if you are obsessed and you are

00:20:49.780 willing to do whatever the fuck it takes there's nothing that you can't do no that's real man

00:20:55.120 that's real i fucking love it man guys great great question great question submit these

00:20:59.860 questions in the link uh down below if you want to be featured on the show as well

00:21:03.300 guys they don't all have to be video either you just submit audio like this next question let's

00:21:07.720 check it out hi andy my question is how do you navigate no man's land i'm at a place in my life

00:21:16.940 where I feel really good about what I'm doing and what I'm building, but I definitely feel like I'm

00:21:23.460 not connected to any particular circle. I feel like the friends that I've had in the past, which

00:21:29.840 again, I don't necessarily need to bring them into every aspect of my life,

00:21:35.500 but there's definitely a part of me that feels like they don't care or support anything that

00:21:42.720 I'm doing. Whereas I feel like when they're trying to grow and do their thing, I'm like right on the

00:21:49.360 sideline clapping. I don't know. It's a weird place to be. I think maybe also I'm overthinking

00:21:56.020 it a little bit and that most people are just wrapped up in their own lives and doing their

00:22:00.580 own thing. But it certainly does feel like the people in my circle sometimes are the ones that

00:22:08.960 i want them i want their feedback i want their not their permission or anything like that but

00:22:15.060 you know you want their support and sometimes you feel like you don't have it

00:22:19.880 okay why do you need the approval of people that aren't on the same path as you

00:22:26.140 that's the first question you should ask yourself okay what you're asking is for people that will

00:22:32.300 never understand what it is you're trying to do or why you're trying to do it to support you in

00:22:37.160 doing so they do not understand why the fuck you're doing it and if you don't understand why

00:22:41.660 someone's doing something you don't understand what they're doing and you're not on the same

00:22:45.140 path it's kind of hard to support it because you don't even know where to support it right okay

00:22:49.600 secondly this is normal okay we've discussed this so many times clearly you know because i have a

00:22:56.760 name for it called no man's land and for those of you that don't know it is a very simple concept

00:23:01.760 when you start out on your path to success you've got your friends you've got these friends

00:23:06.840 that you met coincidentally through school or through your neighborhood or maybe they're your

00:23:12.520 cousins i don't know but you were born through your circumstances into this friend group some

00:23:19.420 way shape or form okay you went then you went to college with some people okay so you got the

00:23:23.580 college group and the high school group and the fucking now you're trying to go out and become

00:23:27.900 something more 99 of those people are going to stay exactly where the fuck they are their entire

00:23:33.560 fucking lives. And if they do try to change, they're not going to try to change at the exact

00:23:37.760 same time that you're going to try to change. So there's a gap in relating that happens to every

00:23:43.900 single person that goes down this path. I remember when I first noticed this in my life,

00:23:49.940 when I first noticed this in my life, I was about 12 years in the business. Okay. And

00:23:55.100 i was at dinner with a friend and we were it was him and his wife and he asked me

00:24:04.840 what was going on with my business and i told him i said we got a lot of good like at this time we

00:24:10.700 had a lot of good shit going on because we had just turned the corner from not making any money

00:24:14.380 and to making pretty good money and i fucking told him okay i said it's going great we're doing this

00:24:20.800 we're doing this we're doing this we're doing this and then after i left the dinner everything

00:24:26.960 was fine and then like two days later i got this text from him that was like bro i love i love you

00:24:33.840 but like you got to really work on your bragging and i'm like the fuck you talking about and he's

00:24:40.300 like telling me how you know uh he's like you know how you were telling us this and that and

00:24:44.020 i said well that you asked that's what's going on in my life yeah okay you asked me yes

00:24:50.320 but you got to understand that when everybody else stays in the same place and you start to

00:24:55.160 progress and then they ask you and you tell them they perceive that as bragging. Okay. And this is

00:25:02.380 a good thing, by the way, because when you're actually telling people what is actually going

00:25:05.660 on in your life and they perceive it as bragging, you're doing all right. All right. But the point

00:25:10.480 is, is that I realized at that point that I had outgrown this group of friends. So I went through

00:25:17.360 this period of not really having anybody to hang out with and you know i didn't the the social

00:25:24.240 media was kind of just getting going you know it wasn't like you were connecting with other

00:25:28.160 entrepreneurs you were more so connecting with more people from the past um and it was lonely

00:25:34.720 and it was like well who the fuck do i hang out with and then organically you know i met this one

00:25:39.420 person who was also in business and then i met another person and then i met another person

00:25:43.200 and we started getting together and i developed this new group of friends but that gap in between

00:25:49.080 your old group and your next group is what we call no man's land you're fucking confused

00:25:53.500 you don't get it and the problem with no man's land especially the first time you go through it

00:25:58.240 because you're going to go through it multiple times throughout your life is that because you've

00:26:02.300 never been through it you feel very out of sorts and most people will start to listen to that

00:26:08.480 original friend group about like oh you're getting too big for your britches you're not

00:26:12.500 humble anymore you're not this you know you're bragging and they will literally fucking shrink

00:26:17.520 themselves and just go right back to the old friend group and sacrifice all their fucking dreams

00:26:21.560 okay but once you find that new group here's the cool thing now you've got shit in common with

00:26:28.540 people now you can openly share successes and nobody thinks anything of it okay and not only

00:26:34.720 that these people will contribute to you actually becoming successful so they will say hey i know a

00:26:41.300 guy that does this, or I know a person does that, or I've got this connection. I've got that. Let

00:26:45.400 me help you with this. Okay. And then as you progress and you, if you keep going, you will

00:26:50.940 probably outgrow a lot of those people, but a bigger percentage of those people like zero at

00:26:56.160 first, 30% of these people will continue on the path with you. So you'll be able to maintain that

00:27:01.720 friendship more with some of those people down the path, but then you'll go through another

00:27:05.720 no man's land. And the second no man's land, instead of you having, you know, nobody you'll

00:27:10.760 have two or three, okay? And then you'll get to the third version, which is like now you're scaled

00:27:16.340 up even more, okay? And that's the path of an entrepreneur. You are going to go through times

00:27:21.900 where you cannot relate to anyone. And to this lady's question, you are expecting things that

00:27:30.300 are unrealistic. You have expectations on them, okay? You say, well, I cheer for them. They don't

00:27:37.400 cheer for me well maybe you're a fucking nicer person than them maybe that's why you're winning

00:27:42.640 and they're losing maybe the reason that you're moving down the path is because you're acting

00:27:47.860 like a normal fucking human being and they're being a bunch of jealous little pussies okay

00:27:51.920 so winners root for people winners want people to win and what you're identifying is is that

00:27:58.700 your old friend group is not made of winners it's made of losers which should make you even

00:28:03.260 happier to get the fuck away from them so like you know yeah dude uh to answer your question

00:28:10.060 this is part of it i think yes you're overthinking of it i think you should definitely not be worried

00:28:15.700 about trying to win over the approval of people that can't even like comprehend what you're trying

00:28:19.600 to do and you should keep your head down and let the the let it play out and the cool thing about

00:28:25.380 today's day and age is that you could actually intentionally go out and seek out other communities

00:28:31.720 of people who are on the same path those groups exist okay we have arte syndicate arte syndicate

00:28:38.240 that's what that is um but it's much easier now whether you do that or not it makes no difference

00:28:45.280 to me but it's much easier to find people that are of like mine now than it was pre-internet

00:28:52.280 okay or pre-social media like imagine you being in social media but pre-social media and trying

00:28:58.020 to find and connect with other people

00:28:59.980 who are on the same path as you.

00:29:01.180 It's almost fucking impossible.

00:29:02.440 You don't even know they exist.

00:29:04.060 Well, I mean, dude, you do,

00:29:05.280 but like you see their business

00:29:06.460 and you're like,

00:29:06.980 how do I get in contact with that guy?

00:29:08.760 And then you got to go through

00:29:09.740 all the gatekeeping

00:29:10.560 to even get to that guy, right?

00:29:12.220 And then there's other things

00:29:13.340 like doing high value things

00:29:16.340 where there's a barrier of entry to get in.

00:29:18.640 You know, there's a reason why

00:29:20.480 country clubs cost fucking,

00:29:22.800 you know, a hundred grand

00:29:24.040 to get the fuck in

00:29:24.920 because it keeps people

00:29:26.500 who can't afford it out.

00:29:28.020 Okay. And then the people who are in are the kind of people. Now, I'm not saying a country club, but there's all kinds of clubs like that. There's country clubs, there's cigar clubs, there's, there's entrepreneur groups. These things cost a lot of money because they want the fucking other people to not be in there. Right.

00:29:46.500 so places where you can pay to be a part of a different or higher group going to nicer

00:29:53.000 restaurants uh you know being involved in things where there's a financial barrier that these

00:29:59.560 people can't get into that's where you're going to meet these other people like do you think that

00:30:04.660 all these people that pay you know a hundred thousand dollars to country clubs do you think

00:30:10.420 they're fucking not doing shit yeah yeah like they're doing shit that membership pays for itself

00:30:16.060 dude a hundred percent it does yeah a hundred percent it does bro i would highly i mean this

00:30:22.700 is me tooting my own horn but i i would highly recommend join arte sitting because i'm gonna

00:30:26.680 tell you right now there's not another fucking group out there anywhere where you're gonna get

00:30:30.940 the education from two guys who have built fucking you know what ed and i have built in our lives

00:30:35.560 it's not real like there's a lot of people who've done good on e-com they sold info this that the

00:30:40.680 other that's fine they've not actually are experts at running a company or starting them we are the

00:30:45.560 best in the world at what we do and that group is the best in the world at taking entrepreneurs

00:30:49.840 from nothing to something we have like 12 people in the last five years that have gone from zero

00:30:56.220 to nine figures that's incredible okay like you want to be around fucking winners i'd highly

00:31:01.100 recommend you you get in on that yeah 100 man look i'm just gonna say that too dude like i don't

00:31:07.380 care what anybody says we're the best in the fucking world what we do there's nobody that

00:31:10.460 can do it better there's nobody out there doing it better we may not be the biggest we don't

00:31:14.380 fucking market it yeah it's all word of mouth okay so you don't see our ads and we don't run

00:31:19.000 fucking big ad budgets and this shit because we don't fucking have to okay in fact we don't even

00:31:24.060 do it for the money at all we do it because it's it's something that we want to do to help people

00:31:29.660 actually improve and we would do it for free except where we'd have a bunch of fucking people

00:31:33.760 in there that are knuckleheads right so gotta have something it is what it is it's real let's

00:31:39.660 check our next submission. All right, here we go. What's up, guys? My name is Jalen. I'm a 25-year-old

00:31:45.100 barber. I became a barber two years ago, had my son at the same time, grinding my ass off to make

00:31:50.320 it work, and luckily, I've done so. My question for Andy is going to be a what would you do in

00:31:55.540 my shoes kind of question. My goal is to become as successful as I can and create as much purpose

00:32:00.560 as I can. A vision that came to me to accomplish that goal is to, one, be as successful with

00:32:05.560 as barbering as I can and then open up a salon suite business, which is basically a building

00:32:10.720 with a bunch of rooms that people run out to run their business out of. I want to add a component

00:32:14.120 to that of education to help these people thrive in that setting. And then eventually later down

00:32:18.880 the line, if we get to that point, these people can franchise out the suite business and open up

00:32:24.500 their own. My question is, what would you do in my shoes? What would be your game plan? What would

00:32:31.340 be a route to make this happen if there's any flaws in the goal or in the mindset let me know

00:32:35.800 but um there's a lot of barber gurus online trying to teach you how to make viral content

00:32:40.980 and charge astronomical prices for haircuts and that route just really hasn't worked for me all

00:32:44.800 too well um the route that's worked for me since I graduated school um was just old-fashioned

00:32:49.740 business just hand out as many cards as I can talk to as many people as I can give good service

00:32:53.920 things like that um I guess my doubt in my mind right now would be like back when I was charging

00:32:59.600 thirty dollars a haircut that seemed to work a lot better and then now that i'm at a higher price

00:33:04.100 point at 50 and 65 like maybe i doubt that that same blueprint may work the same and that i would

00:33:09.620 need to be this barber celebrity or whatever to accomplish my goals um so what would you do

00:33:15.920 in my shoes to accomplish the goals that i've set for myself uh in any other game you could give me

00:33:21.680 appreciate you oh man there's a lot there okay number one i love the fact that you thought this

00:33:28.560 out. Okay. I went to barber school. I'm become a good barber. I want to open up a salon. I'm

00:33:36.200 going to rent out the spaces to other barbers. Then I'm going to franchise that business out

00:33:40.720 across great fucking plan. I would add something else to that. I would add a CPG line of personal

00:33:47.480 care products that you can sell off of that brand along the way at some point in time. Okay. Because

00:33:54.520 that is much faster in terms of creating revenue and brand equity for yourself than it would be

00:34:02.340 just to do these spots by the way this is exactly what i've done okay we started out in retail we

00:34:09.420 opened up retail then we became a cpg company scaled that out now retail is even growing faster

00:34:14.380 okay so they build off of each other so i love the plan i would add the idea of personal care

00:34:21.220 products into it okay now getting back to what it is that you were saying uh well first of all

00:34:28.060 don't change your price do not fucking go down okay that price objection that actually that

00:34:33.800 that price objection i wanted to hit on this before i got into the next thing that price

00:34:38.400 objection is your price objection that is not their price objection that is yours you even said

00:34:44.780 i'm not sure if this is going to work which means you don't have fucking data that says you're too

00:34:49.600 cheap or too high you're making it up which means it's coming from your heart which means you are

00:34:55.420 thinking there will be an objection when in reality there will not be an objection as long as you do

00:34:59.860 what you said you were going to do which the key piece and what he said he was going to do was

00:35:04.440 making sure they had a great experience and making sure people told other people that is the fucking

00:35:09.040 key to what it is now what can you do to create a better experience what can you do that other

00:35:17.480 barbers don't do can you offer them a drink can you offer them a smoke can you do something i

00:35:23.940 don't know what it is that you can do whatever you can do to create uh a non-commodity experience

00:35:30.460 okay because a haircut's a fucking haircut right why do we go get our haircut from the same person

00:35:36.380 it's because we like the person and we get a good experience i can get the same fucking haircut

00:35:40.420 five million place in fact you've cut my hair yeah a bunch of times i've done good i'm just saying

00:35:46.660 but the haircut isn't the fucking thing you're paying for i'm paying for the fucking relationship

00:35:52.040 and the experience okay so get your mind around that what can i do that other people don't do

00:35:59.220 on site on premise that makes people tell other people to come to me nail that down now okay

00:36:05.800 because that doesn't cost anything and if it does cost something it's going to be cheap

00:36:09.020 now getting back to the most important part of this okay because i like all of that i like the

00:36:18.060 plan i i would add the cpg i like the price point do not let your own fucking you know hangups of

00:36:26.860 your own financial situation or upbringing allow you to affect that because you're going to have

00:36:31.340 to you're going to need the profit to scale this out

00:36:33.000 the personal brand thing you seem to have

00:36:39.880 and a negative attitude towards becoming a well-known barber okay and when you talked

00:36:50.160 about these barber gurus and this and that and this bro those guys have figured it out

00:36:55.360 understand that they have figured out how to become famous online by becoming great barbers

00:37:02.560 And then they're selling how to become a great barber

00:37:05.640 Which means there's none of this cost in between

00:37:08.300 Okay

00:37:09.260 So they're fucking printing money

00:37:11.700 Understand that

00:37:13.100 So they've figured it out

00:37:14.320 And you're saying that you don't like what they're doing

00:37:17.920 Well they figured it out bro

00:37:19.800 Alright

00:37:20.640 They do this thing

00:37:22.100 They do it well

00:37:22.980 Then they tell you how to do it well

00:37:24.520 Alright

00:37:25.240 You need to lose the idea

00:37:28.740 That somehow becoming

00:37:31.600 famous on the internet is something that is not cool or something that you don't want. It can

00:37:37.160 only fucking help you. It can only accelerate your dreams bigger. Now, I think your play is

00:37:44.840 better than their play because what you're creating is a product that not only generates

00:37:50.000 cash flow, which is all they have, you're creating a product that has enterprise value backside,

00:37:55.760 meaning you can sell this for a lot of fucking money in 20 years so you're not cutting hair

00:38:02.420 with your back all out of place and your fucking elbows all fucked up arthritis okay right exactly

00:38:07.180 dude so your plan is better and it's a much better long-term plan than their plan but why

00:38:14.300 couldn't you do theirs and yours okay and the reality of looking at you is you already have a

00:38:21.100 look okay you speak well come up with a great angle that you can do that's different than

00:38:26.660 everybody else okay get to a point where you are showing your cuts you know talking like dude

00:38:34.920 there's this one guy i can't think of his name uh vick vick oh yeah vick cuts yeah vick cuts

00:38:40.720 vick blends vick blends yep fucking dude he figured it out he did okay here's what he did

00:38:47.720 he created content where he goes up to random people and he'd say hey can i cut your hair

00:38:54.440 and they're like yeah and then he like talks to them for you and they just and then it becomes

00:39:01.020 a piece of content okay and by the way it's great okay but here when vic started he was just doing

00:39:07.880 random people and i know he still does random people but what happened was his brain got so big

00:39:13.180 that now he's doing like celebrities okay you want that because that's only going to help the

00:39:20.980 other pieces of the puzzle that's only going to help you rent out your studio more it's only going

00:39:26.700 to help you sell your cpg line more what happens if you have 200 300 400 000 followers and you say

00:39:34.220 guys i came up with this personal care products here's where you can get it okay you have leverage

00:39:39.240 then so this personal brand aspect that you seem to have a resistance to is really going to cost

00:39:45.180 you a lot of time and maybe cost you your ability to even execute this other plan okay so i can

00:39:52.120 appreciate because i'm the same i prefer in person i prefer that old school way i like that and by

00:39:58.840 the way it's great that you like it too because that's where people are starting to value things

00:40:02.880 again they're starting to value analog experiences so but you you have to do it dude you have to

00:40:10.600 build a personal brand you've got to get creative in how you do it and if you can figure out a way

00:40:15.340 to do it that is a little bit different than what everybody else is doing that's how you're

00:40:19.460 going to start to get traction and you may not get traction the first one or two years but

00:40:25.080 eventually you're going to have videos that are going to go and people are going to say damn this

00:40:28.480 is cool and where where is this and can i use this guy's products or can i stop into his place

00:40:33.980 wherever it is in philadelphia and get a fucking cut when i'm there right like you can only win by

00:40:40.100 creating that so you need to drop this hesitation to go build that you need to go fucking build it

00:40:44.820 yeah you know on the leverage piece i'm looking at this uh like the the metaphor you utilize like

00:40:49.740 the axe or the chainsaw like i mean the axe is always going to cut down the fucking trees

00:40:53.240 But social media being a chainsaw

00:40:55.880 Use that fucking lesson

00:40:57.400 Bro you can jump years ahead

00:40:59.000 Why do you think there's so many people out there

00:41:00.960 That are 25 years old

00:41:02.880 That are crushing it in business

00:41:04.140 It's because they had the ability

00:41:05.980 And they used the technology

00:41:07.180 To create a brand for themselves

00:41:09.880 Like dude if you're in business

00:41:11.820 And you're trying to like

00:41:13.780 Avoid creating the brand

00:41:15.520 You're only doing yourself a disservice

00:41:17.360 You're only doing yourself a disservice

00:41:20.380 Okay

00:41:21.260 i don't know why you would do that if your goals are really your goals why wouldn't you do

00:41:27.280 everything required to get to the goal use every tool available yeah you'd be obsessed bro

00:41:32.140 and so like that comes back to like the main point of what we talked about with the guy with

00:41:36.180 the trombone all right you have to be fucking obsessed this is not casual you don't get to

00:41:43.780 pick and choose how hard you go brother you're at the beginning okay you better use every

00:41:49.600 motherfucking tool you have or you're not going to fucking make it so this isn't like me politely

00:41:54.680 suggesting this is me telling you that you are not good enough to do it without that unless you

00:42:01.300 want to spend double the time or triple the time all right so you have to fucking do it okay and

00:42:07.200 sometimes people like well you don't post any content no contrary i post more content than

00:42:11.760 fucking anybody on the internet it's just long form content okay i post how many hours of content a

00:42:17.120 week a fuck ton right so it's just not the way you see it it's out there baby yeah bro and you

00:42:23.900 motherfuckers gotta share it yeah that's right that's right man yeah but guys andy that was

00:42:27.800 three submissions yeah that's a hell that's good dude those are good see send me your questions

00:42:34.080 bro i'll answer them exactly like to i like this because now i like like this last question and

00:42:40.940 that first question i can answer exactly to your scenario yeah so send your shit in dude

00:42:48.560 i love it man yeah got it guys links in the uh description below all right guys don't be a hoe

00:42:54.940 share the show

00:42:55.780 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions

00:43:02.820 in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case

00:43:09.920 closed

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - August 03, 2026

1051. Q&AF： Trusting The Process, Navigating No Man's Land & Building An Empire

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