REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 130. 3 Basic Principles Of Feeling Alive

00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Danny Priscilla and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye

00:00:20.900 to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking

00:00:26.200 reality. Guys, today we got Thursday, Thursday thunder. I don't know what we're going to

00:00:31.360 call it. It doesn't really matter. It's going to go in your ear. It's going to make you feel

00:00:34.540 a certain way. And that's how we're going to do it today. I didn't have anything to really

00:00:39.960 talk to you about that was on my mind. So what I did was, and if you didn't see it, I put

00:00:44.520 up a little question bubble in my Instagram story and said, Hey, the first person to ask

00:00:49.100 me a meaningful question or a good question, I'm going to answer it and make a podcast

00:00:52.360 about it. And somebody did. And it was a really good question. The question was, what makes

00:00:59.260 you feel alive? And I like that question because the thing that makes me feel alive is going

00:01:05.820 to be the thing that makes you feel alive as well. And so I'm going to step-by-step break

00:01:09.820 down those things here in just a second. But I did get one semi-negative question that I

00:01:15.940 do want to address up front. And somebody typed in there, why do you demean people on

00:01:22.540 your show? And I feel like that person was actually asking the question. They weren't

00:01:28.360 trying to be rude. So I would like to address it. For those of you that follow me, you understand

00:01:34.500 I'm not everybody's cup of tea and I'm cool with that. There's certain kinds of people that

00:01:40.120 respond certain ways. There's people who respond to things that, you know, make them feel good

00:01:46.960 in the moment. I personally have never responded to those things. I personally don't think those

00:01:52.480 things actually change people. And I think in my opinion, and that I have a pretty good

00:01:57.820 one because I live in this space that most people that work for that positive or think they

00:02:03.600 respond to that positivity aren't actually responding to it. They feel like they like it because it

00:02:09.480 makes them feel good for a few minutes or a few seconds if they're scrolling, right? They read

00:02:15.480 something nice and say, oh yeah, that's nice. And they click the button and they feel good.

00:02:20.420 And I understand that that's what you think is motivation. And that's what you think personal

00:02:25.940 development is. But that's not what personal development is. Personal development is hearing

00:02:31.440 the truth, acknowledging your lack of whatever it is that you're missing on, fixing that and becoming

00:02:38.760 better in the real world. It's not really about your feelings. So when you hear me, and I very rarely

00:02:45.140 explain this because if you listen to me enough, you'll grasp it. But for those of you that are new,

00:02:50.840 if you hear me and you think, damn, dude, that's some fucked up shit that he's saying, understand that 0.70

00:02:56.120 what I'm doing is I'm telling you what needs to be heard so that you take action. And the reason

00:03:03.020 that I share these things with you is because this is the dialogue that has been in my head

00:03:08.500 that has helped push me to accomplish the things that I've accomplished. And I've accomplished a

00:03:14.100 fucking lot. All right. And I, I have a long way to go. And in the big picture of things, I haven't

00:03:19.760 done shit, but for the time I have spent here, I've done some things. And so what I'm doing is I'm

00:03:26.260 trying to let you in on what it really takes to change. You may not like hearing it upfront. You

00:03:34.220 may not like the tone. You may think it's too aggressive, but if you break down the truth,

00:03:40.440 I think you'll always find that it connects and it drives action. And that's who I'm concerned about

00:03:47.120 reaching. I am not concerned about making you feel good. I am concerned about teaching you how to make

00:03:53.180 you feel good. And there's a massive difference. Now with the show and the question that I was asked,

00:04:00.320 what makes you feel alive? I have three key things that I talk about that create happiness

00:04:07.420 and fulfillment. All right. And I'm going to talk to you about these things very quickly. And I'm going

00:04:14.920 to let you in on how I relate them to my life. Okay. So the first thing is purpose. If you don't have a

00:04:22.700 purpose that's greater than yourself, you will never feel fulfilled. You can never be happy and

00:04:28.980 you can never feel quote unquote alive. All right. Is a very empty existence to live exclusively for

00:04:37.660 yourself. And let me explain how I learned this lesson. I learned this lesson after about 15 years

00:04:45.760 in business. Okay. I was sitting on my couch. I was making a fuck ton of money. I couldn't go to work

00:04:52.060 because I had pneumonia and I was super sick. And I was watching movies and sitting on the TV and I'm

00:04:57.640 checking my bank app and my money's just going up and up and up. And I'm sitting there not doing

00:05:02.960 shit. And at first it was cool. It's like, okay, cool, man. I'm getting paid to chill. I like that.

00:05:08.080 That's success. But after the three weeks that I had to stay home, after about 10 days of this shit,

00:05:14.460 I'm like, fuck, this really sucks. And it didn't matter how much money I saw coming through.

00:05:19.700 I felt like shit. And a realization came to me and the realization was, and it clicked for me all at

00:05:25.960 once. It was like, damn, well, this is why rich people kill themselves. And I figured out real quick

00:05:32.400 that the money wasn't anything to do with the purpose. And I realigned my purpose 100% onto my own

00:05:42.040 staff and onto my own customers and onto everybody that I had responsibility to look out for. And when

00:05:50.640 I flipped my purpose from making sure that my life was taken care of to making sure that their lives

00:05:56.840 were better and taken care of. Okay. And for my employees, this means careers. It means skill

00:06:02.040 development. It means personally improving their physical health or mental health, all of these

00:06:07.140 things. For my customers, it's the same thing. We do these in all different ways. All right. But

00:06:13.880 having that purpose that was bigger than myself made me feel like I had a reason or a mission to

00:06:21.220 be here. And you cannot feel alive or fulfill without a purpose. All right. A lot of you are making the

00:06:28.500 freedom of this country your purpose right now. That's an amazing thing. And you feel more excited

00:06:34.120 and more alive than you felt in a long time. And you might be a little bit scared and a little bit

00:06:39.140 nervous, but you know that what you're doing is important. So it makes you feel alive. All right.

00:06:45.820 So purpose is the first step on that. The second step to me feeling alive was discipline. All right.

00:06:53.860 When I discovered how important discipline was to happiness was basically when I put all the little

00:07:02.120 moving pieces together over 20 years. And that program is called 75 hard. You guys might've heard

00:07:08.280 of it, but what it is, is I figured out that if I was in total control of my environment and for me,

00:07:17.080 and I know it's different for everybody, but for me, my environment, uh, typically that I didn't control

00:07:23.400 had to do with my eating and my training and my alcohol. Okay. If you stuck a beer in my face,

00:07:30.420 I was drinking it. If you stuck a pizza in my face, I was eating it and I didn't have control.

00:07:36.280 I didn't have enough control to go to a restaurant and look at a menu and order things that were

00:07:43.140 healthy for me. And, and dude, and I know for a lot of you listening right now, you still don't

00:07:47.680 have that control. Like when you start looking at the menu, you look at like, you know, you,

00:07:52.420 you have the intention to order something that you're supposed to eat and you know, that's good for you,

00:07:56.100 but you start seeing, you know, the appetizers or the nachos or the, the things that sound great to

00:08:02.540 you. And you start telling yourself a story. You start telling yourself, well, fuck it, man.

00:08:08.080 You know, I'll get, I'll work extra hard tomorrow to get this off, even though, you know, you shouldn't

00:08:13.240 do it. Or you start telling yourself something like, uh, well, you know, I'm here with my family

00:08:19.280 and I don't get to spend very much time with my family. So I'm going to enjoy that. Motherfucker,

00:08:23.160 what does you putting shit in your mouth have to do with enjoying time with your family?

00:08:27.420 All right, let's be real. Okay. So we start telling ourselves all of these stories and all

00:08:31.920 of these stories lead to us compromising on our discipline, which erodes our confidence. It

00:08:37.400 erodes our belief in ourself. It erodes our power in this universe. All right. So once I figured out

00:08:45.220 that I needed to control the things that I was actually in control of and look at that as a way of

00:08:52.620 improving my discipline stock. So what I'm explaining here is every time I say no to that

00:08:58.100 fucking beer, I'm like, yeah, dude, you didn't win beer. I fucking won. And as stupid as that

00:09:03.220 sounds, it's like, I'm talking shit to that beer. Like, fuck you beer. Right? Like that's how I look

00:09:09.380 at it. And once I figured that out and I knew that every time I started overcoming those challenges,

00:09:13.740 I was building my discipline stock, just like a fucking John Madden football game where your speed

00:09:19.020 goes from 90 to 91 to 97, I'm pumping my stock up and discipline. And once I figured out how to do

00:09:26.340 that and what it actually meant to my life, I started to become more alive. All right. So

00:09:31.880 discipline is the second part of feeling alive. And the third part of feeling alive, which is the most

00:09:38.760 important part for any of us, because it's so easy to lose sight of. The third part is gratitude.

00:09:45.380 We had our Monday meeting here at First Form today. We had a couple of gentlemen from our charity that

00:09:51.920 we support here, Brace for Impact, who are from Haiti. These two men were actually, they're Haitians.

00:10:00.240 They grew up in Haiti. One of them grew up in Haiti till he was 14 years old. Then he moved to the

00:10:05.740 United States. And these are friends of mine, by the way. Moved to the United States, learned English,

00:10:11.960 got a soccer scholarship, has built a career here in the United States, working for Brace for Impact,

00:10:19.100 one of our favorite charities here at First Form, being an administrator for his community back in

00:10:25.680 Haiti, doing things to create more opportunities for young men and young women that are coming from

00:10:31.640 there like he got to experience. And the other gentleman that was here, who is also from Haiti,

00:10:37.100 he lives in Haiti. He actually is a doctor and the administrator of the hospital that this other

00:10:45.040 gentleman's charity, Brace for Impact, built. And they were here talking about the simple things

00:10:51.320 to our company that they had to do to survive. Both of these men had to be given up by their families

00:10:59.740 in an orphanage in Haiti so that they could actually eat and get water. Their family couldn't provide it

00:11:06.760 for them. So they had to give them up to even eat or have water to survive. All right. These men have

00:11:13.840 now grown up with literally zero opportunity in front of them to become contributors because they created

00:11:20.800 the opportunities themselves as they went to become contributors to their own cause and to help other

00:11:27.200 men and women like him or other children become men and women like they have. Okay. And you want to

00:11:34.740 talk about gratitude? All right. My whole company, we're all sitting here with fucking $2,000 laptops

00:11:41.980 and $1,000 fucking iPhones. And we get to come to this amazing facility and train and talk to people

00:11:48.720 and help people. And we get to go out to eat at places and we all have a place to sleep and we all have

00:11:54.300 a place to live. And we're sitting here listening to these men talk about the things they had to go

00:12:01.160 through to even survive. You want to talk about gratitude? We as America all need to be reminded of

00:12:10.360 gratitude. And it happens to be one of the three key elements that will make you feel alive as well.

00:12:16.680 So when you think about what you're grateful for and you think about what you have and you

00:12:22.180 automatically go to all this shit that you think you don't have, you are fucking lying to yourself. 0.79

00:12:26.940 If you are listening to the show, you are lying to yourself. You have tons of good things in your

00:12:31.260 life. You have tons of opportunity. And if you don't have opportunity, you at least have the ability

00:12:37.980 to cultivate the discipline and the drive and the purpose to create that opportunity like those two

00:12:45.260 men did. So those are the things that make me feel alive and they will make you feel alive as well.

00:12:52.260 Purpose, discipline, and gratitude. If you incorporate these three things into your life every single day

00:13:01.060 on a micro level, and I'm talking about a discipline of these things daily, you will feel like a completely

00:13:09.420 different person. You will feel alive. Not just sometimes, not just when you have adrenaline,

00:13:16.040 but literally every fucking day. A lot of people ask me where my passion comes from. How do you,

00:13:21.960 why are you so passionate? I'm passionate because I feel alive every fucking day. And how I feel alive

00:13:28.180 is the same way you're going to feel alive. Practice these three things on a micro level every single day.

00:13:34.340 Um, so guys, that's it. I really thought that was cool. How we got the idea for the show from the

00:13:40.980 Q and a bubble. I might do that. Keep an eye out on my story for that because I get bombarded with

00:13:45.700 questions right away. So I'm not going to leave it up all the way, but, uh, in six minutes, I had like

00:13:50.460 10, 10, 20 pages of, of screenshots of awesome questions. Uh, and I'd like to take the opportunity

00:13:56.480 also guys to thank you guys for supporting the show. You know, I've, I really don't gain a whole lot by

00:14:03.620 talking about all these things going on in society. Uh, but I feel they're important and I feel that

00:14:08.980 the timing is important. And if I didn't, I wouldn't talk about them. All I'd ever talk about

00:14:12.820 is fucking making money and success like I used to. But the truth is guys, without the freedom of

00:14:19.700 our country, it's much harder to achieve those things. And we're going to have to fight much

00:14:23.640 longer, much harder to create those opportunities. Just like these men did that I described in the show

00:14:28.840 here in America, we don't have to worry about those things just yet, but we are headed in a

00:14:32.900 direction to where we will. And I don't want to go there. So that's why I asked you guys to speak

00:14:37.780 up. That's why I asked you guys to support what that message is. And, uh, I really, really, really

00:14:43.340 appreciate the enthusiasm that you guys show for that area that we cover in the show. So, uh, thank you

00:14:49.880 guys. I'd like to remind you, if you got something from the show, if it made you think, if it, if it

00:14:53.660 improved your skillset, if it made you laugh, if it gave you a new perspective, uh, give us a share,

00:14:58.600 you know, bring us up in the next conversation you have about self-improvement or what's going on in the

00:15:02.400 world. So I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. And I'll talk to you next time.

00:15:05.660 you next time.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - August 10, 2021

130. 3 Basic Principles Of Feeling Alive

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