REAL AF with Andy Frisella - August 21, 2021


134. How To Build Bulletproof Confidence

Topics
what you put in is get out confidence transformation
Hosted by
Andy Frisella
Mentioned
Andy Frisilla David Goggins Headshot
133. American Privilege 135. Q&AF： Getting Out Of Ruts, Avoiding Destructive Paths & Impacting Your Child's Health

Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

177.6

Word count

2,842

Sentence count

220

Harmful content

Misogyny

2

sentences flagged

Toxicity

67

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about how to get into a place of real confidence and how to keep it there. Confidence is not something that can be taught. It's something you have to earn. And in order to earn it, you need to do everything you can to get there.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 What's up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist.
00:00:20.920 Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to 0.99
00:00:25.200 motherfucking reality. 0.98
00:00:26.140 Guys, I wasn't planning on doing a show for you guys today, but I started thinking because 0.97
00:00:33.440 I had a couple of questions come through that were more so based around the context of what's
00:00:41.100 going on in the world where people are confused and they feel not sure of themselves.
00:00:48.900 And really what they were asking was how to be more sure of themselves, how to be more
00:00:54.820 confident and how to get that on track.
00:00:57.460 And so I did a little story and you may have seen it, but probably not because I got shadow
00:01:01.460 banned for posting a literal cartoon on my story of ants.
00:01:07.240 But that's neither here nor there.
00:01:10.560 You probably didn't see the story.
00:01:12.020 And what I said in the story was basically, look, you guys have to understand that confidence
00:01:20.340 is not something, and I've said this for so long, I've dedicated so many years of my life
00:01:27.180 to getting this message out, but it's still not registering with a lot of people.
00:01:32.380 All right.
00:01:32.720 And I want to make this something that you cannot ever forget.
00:01:38.700 You have to understand right now that if you wait for yourself to just naturally feel confident
00:01:46.760 and you look at other people and you see, oh, that person seems like they've really got their 0.97
00:01:53.360 their shit together and they seem so confident all the time and they always know what to do. 0.97
00:02:01.800 And they always, listen, you are confusing yourself out of the reality and victimizing yourself 0.99
00:02:08.420 unintentionally.
00:02:09.260 And here's what I mean by that. 0.99
00:02:10.940 That person that you see who appears to have their shit together all the time, first of all, 0.98
00:02:17.620 has probably earned the right to feel that way. 1.00
00:02:20.000 Now, we all know some cocky fuckers who have never accomplished anything in their life, 0.99
00:02:24.920 but think they're awesome. 0.99
00:02:25.980 And we see this a lot at like the lower levels, right?
00:02:30.100 And it's usually the people who think they know everything and that they're so great and,
00:02:34.800 and, you know, they, but their life doesn't reflect it, that they are, you know, the people
00:02:39.580 that, that think they know the most, you know, when we talk about the Dunning-Kruger effect
00:02:43.860 and, and if you Google that, it'll tell you what it is, but basically it's a false sense
00:02:49.280 of confidence because you don't really know.
00:02:51.440 And right now we're seeing that a lot in society. 1.00
00:02:53.860 You know, we're seeing a lot of people talk about a lot of shit that they fuck and have 1.00
00:02:57.260 no idea what they're talking about because their favorite celebrity or their favorite 1.00
00:03:00.800 influencer who posts pictures of their fucking asshole on the internet, um, is telling them 1.00
00:03:06.880 to do that. 1.00
00:03:07.680 Okay.
00:03:09.020 So what does real confidence, where does it come from?
00:03:12.500 How do we get it?
00:03:13.200 And how do we, how do we make sure that we keep it?
00:03:15.700 Well, here's the thing you need to understand is when you do everything you can, when you
00:03:23.760 on a daily level, and this is why I talk about when the day, which is episode 16 on real AF,
00:03:28.900 when you literally execute on everything that you could and you do everything that you can,
00:03:35.420 you have no other option, but to be moved into a place of confidence.
00:03:39.860 And let me give you an example right now.
00:03:42.900 I have a contest going on at my office, an eight week transformation challenge, uh, that
00:03:48.500 we're doing with first form.
00:03:50.040 We do this many times a year, but this time we're doing it in the office.
00:03:54.340 Okay.
00:03:54.980 And I made a bet that anybody in the office, and we have hundreds of employees that beats
00:04:00.400 me in the next eight weeks for a transformation.
00:04:02.320 I will pay a thousand dollars to, so here we are five weeks in, and there's a couple of
00:04:10.560 people who are doing really good, like really good.
00:04:13.240 And I'm doing really good. 0.93
00:04:15.380 I've done literally everything I can fucking do. 0.92
00:04:18.720 Okay. 0.93
00:04:19.280 I've, I've done every cardio.
00:04:20.820 I've ate every piece of food perfectly.
00:04:23.920 I've done all my supplements perfectly.
00:04:26.080 I've done all my weight workouts perfectly.
00:04:28.300 I've given everything that I can, so I can't be upset that I may have some people do better
00:04:38.480 than me.
00:04:39.100 I feel very confident about what I've done and very confident in my abilities.
00:04:43.880 Okay.
00:04:44.480 And this is just a small example of how this works.
00:04:47.100 I'm not threatened by anybody.
00:04:49.340 I'm not insecure that someone is doing a good thing, but when you lack confidence, that's
00:04:56.360 where these feelings come from.
00:04:57.580 That's when jealousy creeps in.
00:04:59.480 That's when fear creeps in.
00:05:00.900 That's when insecurity creeps in.
00:05:03.160 And that affects your anxiety levels and the way you think about yourself and the actions
00:05:07.660 that you take.
00:05:08.700 So the first step to curing this is understanding that what you put in, you will get out.
00:05:15.180 What you put in, you will get out.
00:05:18.020 Okay.
00:05:18.420 What you put in your body in terms of water, in terms of healthy food, in terms of movement,
00:05:24.680 in terms of positive mental stimulation in the form of reading.
00:05:29.300 And I know this sounds like 75 hard.
00:05:31.720 I don't want to make this a 75 hard promo, but this is why I developed the program.
00:05:37.680 Okay.
00:05:37.960 When you do those things and you give it everything you have, your confidence level rises.
00:05:44.760 And anybody who's actually completed 75 hard, and especially the live hard program, understands
00:05:50.620 this now.
00:05:51.800 Okay.
00:05:52.140 It's a tool that's brought awareness to show them how to create momentum and confidence
00:05:56.620 on demand and a bunch of other things.
00:05:59.320 But the point I'm trying to make here is that if you never realize that what you put in is
00:06:05.840 what you get out, you are surprised when you put in negativity and you put in alcohol and
00:06:12.540 you put in not training and you put in sitting on the couch and you put in all these other 0.99
00:06:17.860 things, and then you're surprised that what you get out is shit, you shouldn't be surprised. 0.99
00:06:24.580 Okay. 0.99
00:06:24.940 What you put into yourself, you will get out.
00:06:28.000 And so when we're thinking about what's going on in the world and we're thinking about all
00:06:32.200 the chaos and we're thinking about all the uncertainty and all of the frustration, which
00:06:37.040 is plentiful, we also have to remember that to minimize that in our own lives, we have to
00:06:42.480 take care of ourselves.
00:06:43.840 We've got to take care of our brains.
00:06:45.660 We've got to take care of our bodies.
00:06:46.960 We have these experts out there talking about health that are, you know, 100 pounds, 200
00:06:53.280 pounds. 0.99
00:06:53.780 And in the case of Illinois' governor, you know, fuck, dude, these people don't care 1.00
00:06:58.440 about health. 1.00
00:06:58.940 It's like I said on the show yesterday.
00:07:01.100 All right.
00:07:01.660 You can't talk to me about health if you haven't put in the work over the last 18 months to
00:07:05.460 get healthy.
00:07:06.220 You don't care about health because if you were that scared, you would have done that.
00:07:09.760 Period.
00:07:11.040 All right.
00:07:11.460 So leaving the idea at the doorstep that you can, that, you know, myself or let's just
00:07:21.340 say somebody like David Goggins or he'll tell you the same thing, bro.
00:07:24.880 He'll tell you the same thing.
00:07:27.240 People lie.
00:07:28.500 People pretend. 1.00
00:07:29.600 All these people out there that you think have all their shit together, they are fucking 1.00
00:07:32.800 lying. 1.00
00:07:33.580 They go home at night and they have issues.
00:07:35.620 They go home at night and they have struggles.
00:07:37.860 They have thoughts.
00:07:39.160 They have these anxious feelings that you have.
00:07:42.420 All of these things that you have, they have.
00:07:45.240 They just don't tell you because they're so in love with the image of themselves.
00:07:48.420 They want themselves to feel above you.
00:07:50.720 And they're afraid that if you see that they are actually real, you won't love them anymore.
00:07:55.140 But the truth is you'll love them more because they're more like you.
00:07:58.860 All right.
00:07:59.540 But these people will only come to those terms on their own.
00:08:03.040 I just want you to understand that these people are no different than you and they are not
00:08:07.900 born with confidence.
00:08:09.260 They created confidence.
00:08:11.060 They built their lives.
00:08:12.600 They built their businesses.
00:08:13.840 They built their bodies.
00:08:14.920 They built their minds, which in turns makes them believe in themselves.
00:08:19.580 And so when you think of it as a trait that someone is born with or has, how could you ever
00:08:27.200 believe that you could create it?
00:08:28.660 See, you're automatically putting in a mental block in front of your brain that says, I
00:08:33.340 can't be confident because I wasn't born with it.
00:08:35.640 And that's just simply not true.
00:08:37.760 So the first step to really understanding how to become more confident, guys, is to let
00:08:43.420 go of the idea that it's something that people are born with and embrace the idea that it's
00:08:48.260 something people create.
00:08:50.060 Okay.
00:08:50.340 I was not a confident person growing up.
00:08:53.340 I would classify myself as an extremely confident person now. 0.98
00:08:57.080 But the reason I'm extremely confident is because I got my shit together. 1.00
00:09:01.040 I stopped being a fat fuck. 1.00
00:09:02.840 I stopped being a lazy fuck. 1.00
00:09:04.600 I stopped doing the things that I know I shouldn't do. 1.00
00:09:07.300 And I started doing the things that I know I needed to do.
00:09:10.780 Okay.
00:09:11.080 And those things over the course of the last few years have transformed my confidence from
00:09:15.920 someone who had to cover up their lack of confidence with cockiness into someone who
00:09:22.100 is legitimately confident.
00:09:24.460 And there's a big difference there, guys.
00:09:25.880 And I have no problem saying it.
00:09:27.700 Okay.
00:09:28.140 Because a lot of you go through this same process.
00:09:30.800 So realizing that you create that is the first step.
00:09:34.020 The second step is what do you got to do to create it?
00:09:37.100 All right.
00:09:37.380 Well, that is a great place for 75 Hard and Live Hard.
00:09:41.080 If you don't have structure and you don't understand, that program was specifically designed
00:09:45.160 to solve this problem.
00:09:46.940 It's free.
00:09:47.940 I don't charge for it.
00:09:48.980 You can go listen to it at episode 14 on Real AF.
00:09:52.220 It'll give you all the steps.
00:09:54.080 You can go to 75hard.com.
00:09:55.660 It'll give you all the steps.
00:09:57.380 You don't have to buy anything.
00:09:58.760 You don't have to use any supplements.
00:10:00.700 You can do any diet you want.
00:10:02.640 You can do any workout you want. 0.97
00:10:03.960 It's scalable, whether you're 600 pounds or 800 pounds or fucking 100 pounds. 0.98
00:10:09.580 Okay. 0.98
00:10:10.300 So there's no reason to not work on your mental here. 1.00
00:10:15.240 But regardless, let's throw all that shit out. 0.99
00:10:18.900 How can you do things right now that are going to make you more confident? 0.99
00:10:23.140 Well, that comes down to you understanding your internal dialogue.
00:10:26.300 Today, when I was on, I was on the elliptical for my first set of cardio.
00:10:30.880 All right.
00:10:31.260 And I was only supposed to do 45 minutes, but I got to 45 minutes and one of my friends
00:10:38.420 was standing there and we kept talking.
00:10:39.980 And so then I noticed I went to 55 minutes and I went to 50 minutes and I said, well,
00:10:46.280 I'll just do an hour.
00:10:47.360 Okay. 1.00
00:10:48.200 So when I got to, when I got close to 55 minutes, I was like, fuck it. 0.99
00:10:53.980 I'm busy. 1.00
00:10:54.700 I got a lot of shit to do. 0.99
00:10:55.860 I already did more than what I already did more than what I thought I was going to do. 0.99
00:10:58.820 And so I got off the fucking elliptical and then my voice in my head snapped me and said, 1.00
00:11:04.160 hey, motherfucker, you just quit. 1.00
00:11:05.660 You told yourself you were going to do a full 60. 1.00
00:11:08.000 Get back on the fucking elliptical and finish your five minutes or this is going to turn 1.00
00:11:11.800 into a downhill spiral and you're going to fucking lose everything you have. 1.00
00:11:15.100 And I shit you not. 1.00
00:11:15.880 That's exactly what my fucking brain said. 1.00
00:11:17.940 Guess what I did? 1.00
00:11:18.560 I went and got back on the elliptical.
00:11:21.340 Okay.
00:11:21.760 And I finished my 60 minutes and that's what I'm talking about.
00:11:24.780 You have to start to develop and understand and be aware of your own internal dialogue.
00:11:30.120 So when you say, what do I need to do?
00:11:32.200 You need to do the things that you are told that you tell yourself you need to do.
00:11:36.780 You're already having these things come up in your brain.
00:11:40.400 You're just ignoring them or you're justifying them.
00:11:43.000 All right.
00:11:44.180 You are not hearing the boss voice that exists in all of us. 1.00
00:11:49.440 You are only hearing the bitch voice and the bitch voice has gotten so strong that you 1.00
00:11:53.880 barely recognize the boss voice when it speaks up and you're so used to not listening to it 0.99
00:11:58.760 that you don't listen to it at any time.
00:12:00.600 But that example that I just gave you is an example of fine tuning your own internal dialogue
00:12:05.720 to where you're paying attention to what's happening and you're reacting in real life to the voice
00:12:10.720 that benefits you more.
00:12:11.840 All right.
00:12:13.500 So what is it?
00:12:15.680 What are the things that come up on a daily basis that you consistently know you should do,
00:12:23.040 but you justify not doing them or not doing them now or not doing them because of the way you feel?
00:12:30.560 All right.
00:12:30.860 What are those things?
00:12:32.180 Because we all have those triggers in our brain that tell us, hey, do this. 0.99
00:12:37.520 Just like that voice that came in my head and said, hey, bitch, you ain't done yet. 1.00
00:12:42.140 I listen to that voice. 1.00
00:12:44.120 Okay.
00:12:44.380 And that voice can be hard to hear when you've let it die for the last 10, 15, 20 years.
00:12:50.840 But it's there and it's in you.
00:12:53.780 And it's something that you need to learn to hear again if you want to truly become the master of your
00:12:59.740 own domain because without you being able to listen to you, how can you believe in yourself?
00:13:05.960 How can you have confidence?
00:13:07.420 How can you have self-belief?
00:13:09.120 How can you have anything?
00:13:12.000 Okay.
00:13:12.280 It's just like, let's remove it from the internal into an external situation.
00:13:17.080 If you had a friend, all right, who constantly lied to you, who said, bro, I'm going to do,
00:13:25.520 I'm going to be at your house today, 8 a.m.
00:13:27.540 And they didn't show up.
00:13:28.700 And the next day they say, I'm going to be at your house at 8 a.m.
00:13:30.920 And they didn't show up.
00:13:32.240 And this happens for three or four days.
00:13:35.700 What do you think? 1.00
00:13:37.840 Well, you think he's full of shit. 1.00
00:13:40.900 That's what you do to yourself too. 1.00
00:13:43.520 It's no different.
00:13:46.140 But what it takes to correct that is you becoming aware of these two voices and choosing to listen
00:13:51.300 to the right one.
00:13:52.480 And when you choose to listen to the right one, now you're on a track where you can correct
00:13:57.960 very quickly and start to feel good very quickly.
00:14:02.040 All right.
00:14:02.580 So those are just a few words of what I wanted to say in my one minute Instagram story.
00:14:08.040 But it took longer than a minute is what I'm trying to say.
00:14:12.360 But guys, the thing is, is like, hey, look, remember this.
00:14:17.900 When you're doing everything you possibly can, you can't not be confident.
00:14:24.000 You can't not feel good.
00:14:25.700 You can't not be strong and feel empowered and feel like you can do things.
00:14:31.160 And right now, that's extremely important.
00:14:33.420 All right.
00:14:34.000 We have a lot of words going on around the world about health and how important it is.
00:14:39.080 And we have very few people actually practicing outside of you guys.
00:14:42.920 So that's the show, guys.
00:14:44.000 Look, it wasn't super organized.
00:14:45.920 These are just some thoughts I'm pulling off the top of my head.
00:14:48.620 Sometimes that's just the way it goes.
00:14:50.460 If you want to find out about 75 hard, you can go to episode 14 and listen to it for free.
00:14:56.500 I also reference when the day, which is episode 16.
00:15:00.120 And then there's episode 80, which covers the whole live hard program.
00:15:03.020 If you go listen to those and you execute those things, I promise you, if you will come back. 0.89
00:15:09.100 If you start today, right now, and you do exactly the live hard program for one year, you will come back from a year from now, one year from now, and tell me that it was the best fucking year of your entire life. 0.65
00:15:21.880 I am 100% confident in that. 0.91
00:15:24.080 Okay?
00:15:24.820 So do it. 0.99
00:15:26.000 And stop waiting for fucking, you know, you to catch the wave of confidence. 0.99
00:15:30.560 That's not how champions live. 0.99
00:15:32.600 Champions create it every single day through their actions.
00:15:35.500 Now, if you like the show, if you learn something, if it helps you get some perspective, share the show for us.
00:15:41.360 All right?
00:15:42.080 I love you guys.
00:15:42.820 I appreciate you guys.
00:15:44.100 I'll see you next time.
00:15:58.500 Headshot case closed.