134. How To Build Bulletproof Confidence
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
177.6028
Summary
In this episode, I talk about how to get into a place of real confidence and how to keep it there. Confidence is not something that can be taught. It's something you have to earn. And in order to earn it, you need to do everything you can to get there.
Transcript
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What's up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist.
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Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to
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Guys, I wasn't planning on doing a show for you guys today, but I started thinking because
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I had a couple of questions come through that were more so based around the context of what's
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going on in the world where people are confused and they feel not sure of themselves.
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And really what they were asking was how to be more sure of themselves, how to be more
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And so I did a little story and you may have seen it, but probably not because I got shadow
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banned for posting a literal cartoon on my story of ants.
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And what I said in the story was basically, look, you guys have to understand that confidence
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is not something, and I've said this for so long, I've dedicated so many years of my life
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to getting this message out, but it's still not registering with a lot of people.
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And I want to make this something that you cannot ever forget.
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You have to understand right now that if you wait for yourself to just naturally feel confident
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and you look at other people and you see, oh, that person seems like they've really got their
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their shit together and they seem so confident all the time and they always know what to do.
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And they always, listen, you are confusing yourself out of the reality and victimizing yourself
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That person that you see who appears to have their shit together all the time, first of all,
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has probably earned the right to feel that way.
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Now, we all know some cocky fuckers who have never accomplished anything in their life,
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And we see this a lot at like the lower levels, right?
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And it's usually the people who think they know everything and that they're so great and,
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and, you know, they, but their life doesn't reflect it, that they are, you know, the people
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that, that think they know the most, you know, when we talk about the Dunning-Kruger effect
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and, and if you Google that, it'll tell you what it is, but basically it's a false sense
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And right now we're seeing that a lot in society.
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You know, we're seeing a lot of people talk about a lot of shit that they fuck and have
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no idea what they're talking about because their favorite celebrity or their favorite
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influencer who posts pictures of their fucking asshole on the internet, um, is telling them
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So what does real confidence, where does it come from?
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And how do we, how do we make sure that we keep it?
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Well, here's the thing you need to understand is when you do everything you can, when you
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on a daily level, and this is why I talk about when the day, which is episode 16 on real AF,
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when you literally execute on everything that you could and you do everything that you can,
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you have no other option, but to be moved into a place of confidence.
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I have a contest going on at my office, an eight week transformation challenge, uh, that
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We do this many times a year, but this time we're doing it in the office.
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And I made a bet that anybody in the office, and we have hundreds of employees that beats
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me in the next eight weeks for a transformation.
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I will pay a thousand dollars to, so here we are five weeks in, and there's a couple of
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people who are doing really good, like really good.
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I've done literally everything I can fucking do.
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I've given everything that I can, so I can't be upset that I may have some people do better
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I feel very confident about what I've done and very confident in my abilities.
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And this is just a small example of how this works.
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I'm not insecure that someone is doing a good thing, but when you lack confidence, that's
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And that affects your anxiety levels and the way you think about yourself and the actions
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So the first step to curing this is understanding that what you put in, you will get out.
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What you put in your body in terms of water, in terms of healthy food, in terms of movement,
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in terms of positive mental stimulation in the form of reading.
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I don't want to make this a 75 hard promo, but this is why I developed the program.
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When you do those things and you give it everything you have, your confidence level rises.
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And anybody who's actually completed 75 hard, and especially the live hard program, understands
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It's a tool that's brought awareness to show them how to create momentum and confidence
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But the point I'm trying to make here is that if you never realize that what you put in is
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what you get out, you are surprised when you put in negativity and you put in alcohol and
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you put in not training and you put in sitting on the couch and you put in all these other
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things, and then you're surprised that what you get out is shit, you shouldn't be surprised.
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And so when we're thinking about what's going on in the world and we're thinking about all
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the chaos and we're thinking about all the uncertainty and all of the frustration, which
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is plentiful, we also have to remember that to minimize that in our own lives, we have to
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We have these experts out there talking about health that are, you know, 100 pounds, 200
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And in the case of Illinois' governor, you know, fuck, dude, these people don't care
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You can't talk to me about health if you haven't put in the work over the last 18 months to
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You don't care about health because if you were that scared, you would have done that.
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So leaving the idea at the doorstep that you can, that, you know, myself or let's just
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say somebody like David Goggins or he'll tell you the same thing, bro.
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All these people out there that you think have all their shit together, they are fucking
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They have these anxious feelings that you have.
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They just don't tell you because they're so in love with the image of themselves.
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And they're afraid that if you see that they are actually real, you won't love them anymore.
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But the truth is you'll love them more because they're more like you.
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But these people will only come to those terms on their own.
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I just want you to understand that these people are no different than you and they are not
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They built their minds, which in turns makes them believe in themselves.
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And so when you think of it as a trait that someone is born with or has, how could you ever
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See, you're automatically putting in a mental block in front of your brain that says, I
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can't be confident because I wasn't born with it.
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So the first step to really understanding how to become more confident, guys, is to let
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go of the idea that it's something that people are born with and embrace the idea that it's
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I would classify myself as an extremely confident person now.
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But the reason I'm extremely confident is because I got my shit together.
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I stopped doing the things that I know I shouldn't do.
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And I started doing the things that I know I needed to do.
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And those things over the course of the last few years have transformed my confidence from
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someone who had to cover up their lack of confidence with cockiness into someone who
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Because a lot of you go through this same process.
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So realizing that you create that is the first step.
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The second step is what do you got to do to create it?
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Well, that is a great place for 75 Hard and Live Hard.
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If you don't have structure and you don't understand, that program was specifically designed
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You can go listen to it at episode 14 on Real AF.
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It's scalable, whether you're 600 pounds or 800 pounds or fucking 100 pounds.
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So there's no reason to not work on your mental here.
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How can you do things right now that are going to make you more confident?
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Well, that comes down to you understanding your internal dialogue.
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Today, when I was on, I was on the elliptical for my first set of cardio.
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And I was only supposed to do 45 minutes, but I got to 45 minutes and one of my friends
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And so then I noticed I went to 55 minutes and I went to 50 minutes and I said, well,
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So when I got to, when I got close to 55 minutes, I was like, fuck it.
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I already did more than what I already did more than what I thought I was going to do.
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And so I got off the fucking elliptical and then my voice in my head snapped me and said,
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You told yourself you were going to do a full 60.
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Get back on the fucking elliptical and finish your five minutes or this is going to turn
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into a downhill spiral and you're going to fucking lose everything you have.
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And I finished my 60 minutes and that's what I'm talking about.
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You have to start to develop and understand and be aware of your own internal dialogue.
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You need to do the things that you are told that you tell yourself you need to do.
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You're already having these things come up in your brain.
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You're just ignoring them or you're justifying them.
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You are not hearing the boss voice that exists in all of us.
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You are only hearing the bitch voice and the bitch voice has gotten so strong that you
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barely recognize the boss voice when it speaks up and you're so used to not listening to it
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But that example that I just gave you is an example of fine tuning your own internal dialogue
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to where you're paying attention to what's happening and you're reacting in real life to the voice
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What are the things that come up on a daily basis that you consistently know you should do,
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but you justify not doing them or not doing them now or not doing them because of the way you feel?
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Because we all have those triggers in our brain that tell us, hey, do this.
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Just like that voice that came in my head and said, hey, bitch, you ain't done yet.
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And that voice can be hard to hear when you've let it die for the last 10, 15, 20 years.
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And it's something that you need to learn to hear again if you want to truly become the master of your
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own domain because without you being able to listen to you, how can you believe in yourself?
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It's just like, let's remove it from the internal into an external situation.
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If you had a friend, all right, who constantly lied to you, who said, bro, I'm going to do,
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And the next day they say, I'm going to be at your house at 8 a.m.
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But what it takes to correct that is you becoming aware of these two voices and choosing to listen
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And when you choose to listen to the right one, now you're on a track where you can correct
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very quickly and start to feel good very quickly.
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So those are just a few words of what I wanted to say in my one minute Instagram story.
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But it took longer than a minute is what I'm trying to say.
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But guys, the thing is, is like, hey, look, remember this.
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When you're doing everything you possibly can, you can't not be confident.
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You can't not be strong and feel empowered and feel like you can do things.
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We have a lot of words going on around the world about health and how important it is.
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And we have very few people actually practicing outside of you guys.
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These are just some thoughts I'm pulling off the top of my head.
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If you want to find out about 75 hard, you can go to episode 14 and listen to it for free.
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I also reference when the day, which is episode 16.
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And then there's episode 80, which covers the whole live hard program.
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If you go listen to those and you execute those things, I promise you, if you will come back.
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If you start today, right now, and you do exactly the live hard program for one year, you will come back from a year from now, one year from now, and tell me that it was the best fucking year of your entire life.
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And stop waiting for fucking, you know, you to catch the wave of confidence.
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Champions create it every single day through their actions.
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Now, if you like the show, if you learn something, if it helps you get some perspective, share the show for us.