140. Q&AF： Imitation, Bitch Voice & The Bigger Picture
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Summary
In this episode of The Real Reel, DJ and Andy answer your questions and talk about a variety of topics. DJ talks about how he went from sleeping on the floor to sleeping on a pole, how he got into the NBA, and why it's important to have a community of like minded people in your life.
Transcript
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Yeah, went from sleeping on the floor, now my jewelry box froze, fuck a pole, fuck a
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stove, counted millions in the code, bad bitch, booted swole, got her on bankroll, can't fold,
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What's up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realistic about the lies
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of fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.
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Guys, today we have a Q and a F. This is where I answer your questions. Now, a lot of you
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guys, I just want to say this up front, this is sort of an ad, hashtag ad, all right? I
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want to say this up front. A lot of you guys like my personal development content, all right?
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I do almost all of my personal development, how to win, how to make money content in the
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Arte Syndicate group. If you're interested in that content and you want more of that
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content, you should join that group and you should apply to join because that's where
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I do most of the content. I just want to say that because people are like, oh, when
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are you going to do more personal? Listen, dude, it's hard for me to talk about that shit
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when the world's fucking burning, okay? So I'm going to talk about what I want to talk
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about. This is my fucking show. If you don't want to listen, you don't have to. Plenty of
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other shows. There's a whole bunch of them that will pander to your sensitive little
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feelings, okay? I won't. Now, with that being said, the way this works is this. I get asked
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a question. DJ, are you paying attention? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how does this work?
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I'm sorry, I was sleeping over there. Oh, no, I was reading this one-star review.
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Oh, were you? Those are the fun ones. Yeah, yeah. I'm just like, holy fuck. All right.
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Yeah, no, I asked three questions, guys. You guys email your questions in to askandy at
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andyfasella.com. Again, we always thank you guys for sending those in. So I picked three
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of those, and here we are. Yeah, here we are. See what happens. Let's go. Let's get
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it. Let's get it. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I'm still tired from yesterday, bro. Yeah. Like,
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that was a lot of, like, yesterday, we had Brandon Tatum here, Officer Tatum. What an awesome
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dude, man. I was just about to say that, man. That dude's cool, man. Super cool. We went
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at the dinner last night. We had a good time. Yeah. Dude, it's fun getting these people
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in here to do this show. I'm starting to have fun with the show again, for real. For
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sure. Yeah. For sure. Awesome people, man. And, dude, it's super important that, you know,
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for us, it's like, you know, we're meeting these awesome people, right? But, like, for
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you guys, it's super important to take that content in because in a world of all this negativity,
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it's nice to have some refreshing breath of life and perspectives. I'm trying to show
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people that there's other people out there that think like them. You know, like, I get
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so many people that write in, bro, and they're like, man, you're the only one that thinks like
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me. No, dude, I'm not. There's lots of people that think like you, but they're all sitting
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there thinking, damn, this Andy's the only one that thinks like me or whoever they're listening
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to, right? Guys, democracy only works to the level that you participate in it. Okay. So
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if you stay quiet and you don't let people know your views, of course, you're going to
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feel alone. Right. So look, we're going to be okay. People are getting involved. You
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know, it's going to take a long commitment. This isn't something that's going to take a
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month. Right. But, you know, it is what it is. We're going to get back to focusing on
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our civic duties here in America, as well as winning, as well as because those are duties as
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well. Right. Succeeding, building a life, becoming successful, becoming an example for
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your children, for your neighbors, for people that know you. You know, most people, the
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reason they struggle with building success here in America is because they don't know
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anybody who's successful because they don't seek those people out. And, you know, one of
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the most important things that you guys have to remember is you need to be surrounding yourself
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and working towards putting that sort of information in your brain all the time. You're not alone
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in how you feel. You're not alone in what you want to accomplish. You're not alone in
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any of those things. You guys and all of you out there are just a little bit timid and you're
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a little bit new and you're a little bit nervous about saying things. And guys, I was thinking
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about this this morning as I was getting ready to come up here. You know, we really Americans
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and I'm talking about the left and the right and all of America, we've been mentally abused
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by the media for a long time, like a long time. You know, if you think about the things
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that we used to be able to say here in America, we used to be able to express opinions and
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say, hey, this is how I feel. And, you know, you could say how you feel. We're no longer
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able to do that anymore because this narrative has been pushed down the pipe. You know, that
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if you say anything that's even kind of out of line, you know, you're a racist, you're
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a bigot, you're a, you're a bad person, shame on you, all these things. And what it's
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done is it's shut people completely down to where they feel like they're living in a jail
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already. Like, guys, it's real simple to break out of that jail. You need to quit worrying
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about what people's reaction is going to be to the truth and just start speaking your
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truth and let them handle it however they're going to handle it. Right. That's going to
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make your life much better. It's going to make your life much easier to live. It's going
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to be less stressful, less confining and less pressure. You know, just tell the truth.
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And if people don't like it, that's OK. So let's answer some shit. All right.
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Let's go. White Lightning. All right. First question. Question number numero uno. How do
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you handle imitation? Like, do you consider imitation like flattery or people get nuked
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when they imitate you? Like, how do you handle that? Well, look, man, they say imitation is
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the most sincere form of flattery. And there's a multitude of ways that I've thought about this
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over the years. When I first started becoming successful and our businesses started to work,
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you know, well, before that, you know, everybody laughed at us. Right. So like we started up on a
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business model that had never really been done before. And people said it wouldn't work. And,
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you know, we got laughed at. And then as it started working, you know, I started seeing people copy it and
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all these things. And, you know, I guess. For me, you know, I, I, I used to get pissed off about it
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where I was like, dude, fuck, you know, fuck that guy. He's trying to steal my this or that or this,
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this, this. And I spent a lot of time angry, dude, because I'm looking at everybody stealing all my
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shit. And it was pretty blatant. You know what I mean? Then as I and really what that was a result
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of was not realizing that I was a leader in that area. So like I was insecure in my position of what
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I was doing. So then I felt angry when I saw other people doing the same. And as I grew, grew and
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matured and, and have become, you know, more experienced, I started to realize like it actually
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is a pretty big honor for someone to think that you're somebody worth emulating. Right. And so
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now I look at it and I do think like, okay, cool. I appreciate that. I really do. Cause it is an
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honor, but I also think it's really dumb. And the reason I think it's dumb is because strategically,
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it's a dumb thing to do. Not specifically copying an idea or a direction that someone's trying to go,
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but trying to copy them exactly is a bad strategy because here's the thing guys. And this is what you
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don't understand. When you copy someone and you, what you see on the outside of their organization
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or the outside of their personal brand is the product of many, many months or even years of
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discussions, brainstorming, execution on the backend that you don't really understand.
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You just see the end result and you say, I want to do that. And the problem with that, which is good,
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right? If it's producing a good result, you could say, oh, okay, well, why wouldn't I want a good
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result? Right. Makes perfect sense. But the problem with that is, is that while it might work
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for you in the short term, you're always a, you know, a year to two years behind those people when
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you're trying to compete in business, because those ideas are already two years old, the result that
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you see. So my warning to people is, you know, don't copy people, look at people for influence,
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and then try to create the best version of you and your plan based around that. That's how I try to
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see it. You know what I mean? We all have unique gifts. We all have, uh, things about us that are,
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you know, positive, uh, attractive, uh, dynamic. We all have those certain things. And what happens is,
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is people get caught up in trying to copy this one concept or this one person. And what happens is
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that, you know, uh, they lose the ability to actually let their gifts sprout. So they never
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really become great. They just become a cheaper version of someone else. And you see that all the
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time. And, you know, it's a hard thing and I get it, right? Because when you're in, cause I've been
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that person, right? I've been the person who looked at other people and tried to copy them. Exactly.
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This is back when I was, you know, 20 to 25 years old and it never worked out and nothing ever really
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worked until I just started doing what I thought was right. Using those things as sort of a guide
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of where I wanted to be. Right. So for example, like if I saw someone in business that they had
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what I wanted, I would look at them and I would say, okay, um, I'm not going to, you know, wear his
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clothes or talk like him or this or that. Uh, but I am going to look at how they did that. And I'm going
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to sort of craft my own version of, of how to get there. So that way I'm operating on an original plan,
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um, that insulates me from somebody else being able to steal it. Does that make sense?
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That makes perfect sense. Dude. I also think of it like too, like, I mean, can they really copy you?
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You know what I'm saying? Like, like, like you have to have the thing. You can't imitate what you
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can't do. Exactly. So, so like you, you know, there's a skill aspect to that.
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Certain people have more skills than other people. Those people that you're trying to copy and you're
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trying to execute that play that they're running that are 10, 15 years down the road from you,
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they have the skills to actually execute that plan where you do not. Right. And so you, you can't,
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you can't imitate to the point where it takes away from your gifts. You have to let people inspire you
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so that then you can cultivate your gifts. And that's how you're going to be able to become
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the best version of who you are. So I hope that explains it. You know, I used to get angry.
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Um, I do get honored sometimes when I see people do it, but I also want to put my arm around those
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people and say, Hey, listen, bro, that ain't the way. You know what I'm saying? And even though
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they're copying me, like I could be like, Oh yeah, dude, that's cool. But no, dude, like you,
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you DJ has things about you that are better than things about me. We have different things that
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we're better at. And you would stifle those by trying to use my gifts. You see what I'm saying?
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Oh, absolutely. Same thing with business. It's the same thing. You, you, you just have to let
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people inspire you and then develop sort of, um, your own path to get there. That makes sense.
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Perfect sense. Perfect. Awesome. One for one. All right. Number two. So for you going, you've been
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through the live hard program multiple times, right? Like, like it was a way of life. I see it every
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fucking day. Right. When was the last time that you heard the bitch voice? Like, has it been
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completely silenced for you at this point? No, but, but I, but no, absolutely not. I hear it
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every day. I mean, dude, every day I do cardio every day. I get three quarters of the way there
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and I'm like, all right. And then I get five minutes away and I'm like, all right, I'm good
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enough. And like, that's the voice in my head. And I have to, I have to consciously stop that
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voice from allowing me to take that action. So, um, it's not that it goes away. It's that
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you become so aware of it that you're easily able to squash it when it happens. So that's
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what you're looking for. If you're, if you're looking to completely eliminate it, you might
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go through periods of time where you don't really have any thoughts and everything's sort
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of clicking automatic, but that's not the time of value. The time of value is the time that
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you have to fight. Time of value is the time that you have to argue inside your head. And
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then you come out as a victor in that argument. That's the valuable times that you need to
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recognize because when you have those little victories, you are creating more deposits into
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your confidence, into your self-esteem, into your self-belief, into your fortitude, into
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your grit, into all these things that we're working to build. Um, you're making deposits when
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you have to fight when it's automatic, you're not really improving. Now it's a good place to
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be, right? Cause it produces a good result, but it's not really improving your skillset.
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So my advice would be for them to realize it never goes away. Uh, and then to value that it
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never goes away because it keeps you honest, keeps you moving. It keeps you, it keeps you
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developing. It keeps you getting better. I don't think it's, it's just a huge misconception that
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people are like, like, Oh, you don't have to struggle with that no more. Like, Oh yeah. No,
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dude, they've reached the highest level. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and people look at people like
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Goggins or James Lawrence or other people. And they say, Chad writes. Yeah. And they say,
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Oh, those guys never want to quit. No, that's not true. They do want to quit. They just know
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how to not quit. You know what I mean? So, and that's the value of this whole program. The whole
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program is not to make you, um, not to eliminate the, because dude, like how, how boring would your
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life be if that shit, if that shit was just easy for you to do, you know what I'm saying? You're not
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learning. You're not progressing. You're not getting better. You're not developing skills.
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It's just what you do. So like I'm for a long time, I cursed the Lord, you know, for having
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the fat guy jeans. But like the truth is I'm super grateful that I have those because it's
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forced me to have to learn that, which has been infinitely valuable in all areas of my life.
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Yeah. That's good. Fucking dope. Two for two, baby. I'm shooting fucking shooting shots over
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here. All right. Last question, Andy. So, you know, over the course of 23 years, right?
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You've been building this fucking empire, right? That's what I would call it. Um, how did, like,
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how exactly do you cast your visions onto the team? Or if you're not, you know, like, you know,
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if you're not a business person, how do you cast visions on your family or your employees? Like,
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how do you get your vision, what you saw in your head, you know, 23 years ago, how do you get it out?
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Like, how did you manifest that into the people around you? Well, the thing about, first of all,
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it's real simple. You just tell them what you're going to do. This is what I'm going to do. This
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is what we're going to do. I need your help. And this is how it's going to benefit you and where
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you're going to fit in. The problem with these, um, with, with casting a vision that most people
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have is that they haven't developed the vision, right? Like a lot of people, and there's two problems
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that most people have when they were trying to paint a big picture. One, they haven't actually
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thought it through themselves or two, they don't intend to actually complete it. Right? Both are
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bad because one, if you haven't thought it out, you can't get where you want to go. It's impossible.
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I just had an Enneagram on this a couple of days ago. You cannot get where you don't know you're
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going. You see what I'm saying? How the fuck can you get there? So you certainly can't get your team
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to get on board. If you haven't done an in-depth thought of where I'm going to be three, five,
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10, 15, 20 years from now and how these people are going to be involved and what it's going to
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mean to them and what it's going to mean to their families and what it's going to mean to their
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lifestyle. Like, if you haven't thought that through, you have no chance of getting anybody
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on board. Right. But the other problem is you have a lot of CEOs and a lot of business owners that want
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to pretend like they're going to do all these things with the intention of getting their employees
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to work really hard. And then they just basically don't intend to build the company that way.
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And those people will cycle through employees over and over and over again. They'll have a
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high turnover rate. People will hate them because you are stealing their life. You see what I'm
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saying? And so you as an employer, you know, these little businesses that, that say this shit like,
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oh, well, you know, we're happy where we're at, bro. You're going to get your fucking ass beat,
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you know, because there's companies that are doing what you do that are not happy where they're at.
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Okay. And those companies that are intending to grow, they're going to attract your best people.
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They're going to bring the best people who have the, who have the, uh, want and the drive and the
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will to succeed and do bigger things. Those people are going to find those people and they're going to
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meet up and guess what? They're going to beat you. So you have to be genuine and you have to follow
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through. A lot of people try to create buy-in with their team inside of a vision with no intent.
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And like, dude, I'm sorry, but, uh, everybody knows when they're getting lied to. Everybody knows when
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they're getting told a bunch of shit and you, as the owner of your business are not exceptionally
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more intelligent than the people that work for you. You just happen to be in a different role
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than them. Right. So, and that's another thing I could go into. Like a lot of people think because
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they, they own a business, they're smarter than all their employees. Well, if you own a business and
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you're smarter than all your employees, you're a dumb ass because I'm going to tell you this,
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everybody I have in here is smarter than me in a lot of ways.
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You know, I told you guys last night at dinner, I said, Hey, I got one job here. My job is very
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simple. My job is to evaluate the ideas and the thoughts of very smart people. And then to pick
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the one that I think is best. That's it. Right. My, my job is not to come up with the plan. Now,
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sometimes do I sure, but I don't, I build a team that I'm intentionally the dumbest person on.
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See what I'm saying? And so like when you cast a vision, you've got to take all these things into
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account. Biggest part of vision casting is let's just wipe all that shit. I just set off the table
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and you're in, you, you intend to build a fucking empire. Okay. And you're doing it with the right
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will and you're doing it with the right heart and you really truly intend on doing it. Dude,
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the biggest thing you can do is to sit down with your team and say, God, and be real. Yeah.
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Guys, look, this is what the fuck we're going to do now. I don't know exactly how we're going to do it.
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I don't know. Uh, I have a good idea. I think we're gonna do it like this, like this,
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like this, but dude, this is what we're doing. Okay. And I'm going to spend my whole fucking life
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doing it. I'm not interested in selling out. I'm not interested in, in, uh, exiting. I'm not
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interested in this. I'm interested in creating this. And this is what your role is. And this is
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how it's going to affect you. And we're going to have this and we're going to, dude, I stood in
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front of, I stood in front of, uh, and by the way, the best vision cast you could ever have, uh,
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is the one that comes true. Right. Yeah. Okay. So let me tell you something. I've never cast a
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vision in this company ever. That hasn't happened ever. And if you ask anybody who's been here since
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day one, uh, which there's, there's a few that day one was six years in, but you know, if you go
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ask the Jason's or the Cody's or the Tyler's and the Mike Taylor's, you go ask them if I ever said
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anything that never happened, they will tell you absolutely not. Now it might take a little bit
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longer, but what I say happens. And so now that trust that we have here is compounded because
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those guys have all seen it for the last 16 years with me. And now they're able to spread that to
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them. So you have to follow through on your promises. And the biggest thing, you know,
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I sat in front of my team in 2010, um, in one of my retail stores. And I said, Hey,
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one day we're going to have this amazing headquarters. We're going to have a gym. We're
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going to have a turf field. We're going to, we're going to have locker rooms. We're going to have
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showers. We're going to have, uh, this amazing building that people come from, from all over
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the world. And they're going to see it. And they're going to want to be a part of this.
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And they're going to come here and they're going to feel the experience. And we're going to sit
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with them and we're going to, we're going to help them develop their businesses and we're going to
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help them grow their brands. And we're going to do all, I said that in 2010, bro. And if you go ask
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any of them, they will tell you, I said exactly. Now, what do we do? Yeah. That's what the fuck we do
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now. Right. So my point is, and by the way, there's three guys out of maybe 16 that were
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there at that time that are still here. So you could be the best vision caster in the world.
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And the one that you could paint the biggest vision you could possibly think of. That was
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the biggest vision I could think of at that time. Okay. And you're still not going to have
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everybody believe. And that's just part of the deal. That doesn't mean you can't do it. That
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means you got to keep going with the people that you got. Some people will fall off and other people
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will step in. And you know, here's another thing. Those people that fall off, you should be thankful
00:20:38.300
for them too, because they, they helped you get where you are, even if they didn't stay the whole
00:20:42.060
time. You know, a number of the guys that used to work for me, I'm still really good friends with.
00:20:46.880
Now I'm investing in their businesses that they run. You see what I'm saying? Because they put in
00:20:51.760
time for me. Now I'm looking to help them back. And so you have to value these people. And I think,
00:20:58.300
you know, understanding that they have lives and they have careers and they have dreams
00:21:02.320
and you trying to accommodate those lives, careers, and dreams inside your vision is the best way to get
00:21:08.000
people on board. But dude, it all comes down to, you have to mean what you say. You have to intend
00:21:13.740
to do it. And it has to be genuine. And you have to know in as much detail as possible, what you're
00:21:19.780
going to actually do. Because the biggest reason is still the first reason I said that people struggle
00:21:24.300
with this. They just don't think it through. You can't get where you don't know you're going.
00:21:29.840
So that's that. That's awesome. That's three for three right there, baby. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I thought
00:21:38.680
when you were talking about, you know, some people falling off of that team, I also thought like a
00:21:41.980
thought came up, man, like how many of those people too would have slowed down the process of you getting
00:21:46.460
to where you got to go? But dude, like, you know, and that's the nature of business. Some people, it's not for
00:21:51.480
them. That's okay. You know, a lot of people like, dude, when you're in the beginning, like if you're in a
00:21:57.300
beginning entrepreneur and you, you, let's just say you've got five or six or 10 people, right?
00:22:01.760
And you're trying to cast this big vision, dude, it's demoralizing. Like, I understand what that's
00:22:06.640
like. Like you're, you try to get these guys on board. They don't really believe you. You're
00:22:11.820
fucking reading everything, doing everything, putting it all the time. You fully intend to do
00:22:16.220
it and they still don't believe you. It's very frustrating. But the point is, is that you'll get the
00:22:20.600
last laugh by just staying on the path. Keep pushing, keep driving, keep working, keep trying to help
00:22:26.860
people, keep trying to develop people, keep your word to your people. Those things are all going
00:22:32.300
to work themselves out. You know, the real problem here is that entrepreneurs want the end result
00:22:37.760
in five minutes. And this shit just takes time, dude. So be patient, understand that people are
00:22:43.480
going to come and go, understand that you're going to, the longer you're at it, the better your core is
00:22:48.220
going to become. And, um, you know, there's no, there's no limits to what we can do here in business,
00:22:53.660
guys. It's the biggest opportunity, especially right now. You know, we just came through,
00:22:58.000
we're, we're, we're working through and still in this shit show in the world. However, um,
00:23:04.700
you know, a lot of businesses and, you know, this sucks, but it's the truth. A lot of businesses are
00:23:09.280
falling off. A lot of businesses are closing up. A lot of businesses are pulling back. Even the ones
00:23:13.920
who are good are pulling back their, their offense and playing defense. And that creates a tremendous
00:23:19.540
opportunity for entrepreneurs that have the grit and have the, the will and the fight in them to
00:23:24.780
stick it through and to keep growing. Because at the end of this, this is how it always works.
00:23:29.020
When these world crises or economic crisis happen, there ends up being a shit ton of opportunity.
00:23:35.220
You know, the only reason that we're sitting here in this building right now is because in 2007,
00:23:39.980
eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, we went on full offense when everybody else fucking pulled their shit in.
00:23:44.820
So, you know, we were able to gain 10 years of ground in five years at that time. And that's
00:23:50.960
the same thing we're doing now. You know, right now, uh, we built this building. We hired almost
00:23:55.420
200 people in 2020. We have two more buildings we're building next door that are exact same size
00:24:01.680
as this. Okay. Like, dude, we're on offense, bro. Like we're here to fucking gain as much as we can.
00:24:07.340
I'm going to employ another 200 people in the next 12 months. And you know, it is what it is.
00:24:12.140
Yep. That's the way business works. And you guys who are small, you know, you have to gut through
00:24:18.080
this and you're going to get a proportional response to what I'm getting. If you gut through
00:24:22.700
it, you're going to see a whole bunch of market open up for you. You're going to be able to grab
00:24:26.360
it. You're going to be able to move. And for the next 10 or 12 years, it's going to get you through
00:24:30.900
until the next crisis. And in the next crisis, you'll be where I'm at, where you have a ton of
00:24:36.220
resources. You have a ton of connections. You have a ton of, uh, you know, ability to take
00:24:42.020
advantage of these situations. Every, every super successful person I know right now is on 1000%
00:24:49.100
offense. They are gobbling it up. And the people, the people who aren't, they're going to get gobbled
00:24:54.600
up. It's just reality. So, you know, I'm excited about the business landscape, even though with all
00:25:00.820
this shit going on and like this crazy, you know, like they put this, uh, automatic mandate through
00:25:05.760
for a hundred and put, no, you know, if you don't want to, I'm not doing that shit. So if you don't
00:25:10.440
want to do that shit, come work for me. If you're a killer, come work for me. I won't force shit on
00:25:15.540
you and we're going to win. So, um, so yeah, that's it. So dude, if you guys want that personal
00:25:24.260
development content, more regular, dude, uh, you should apply to Arte. That's where we do it. And I do it
00:25:28.860
with Ed Milet. He's one of the best in the world at this. So, um, anyhow, what else? That's it,
00:25:35.480
baby. That's it. All right, guys, I appreciate all the love. I appreciate all the shares. I
00:25:40.720
appreciate all the love and shares on the American podcast as well, because dude, it's something that
00:25:46.360
I truly passionate about. I truly care about. And we all have to realize that without fertile soil
00:25:51.840
here in America, we don't have a chance to win. Right? So I appreciate you guys who are here for the
00:25:57.460
entrepreneurship, but are also taking an interest in the societal views that we have here. So
00:26:03.820
I just wanted to give you guys a shout out for that. The show made you think if it made you,
00:26:07.760
if it taught you something new, if it made you laugh, if it gave you a new perspective,
00:26:11.320
please share the show. You don't like to run ads. I don't run ads for the show. It's all on word of
00:26:16.200
mouth. Uh, we call it paying the fee. So, uh, if you like the show, if you got some value out of it,
00:26:21.180
pay the fee. Love you guys. I'll talk to you next time.
00:26:24.660
Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a pole. Fuck a stove. Counted millions
00:26:30.620
in the cold. Bad bitch. Booty swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold. Doesn't know. Headshot. Case closed.