179. Q&AF: Boss vs. Friend, Entrepreneurship: Skill Or Trait? & Choosing A Mentor
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
194.66438
Summary
In this episode of The Realists, DJ and Andy discuss the perils of physical labor and how to overcome them. DJ talks about his recent experience with a massive pile of leaves and how he was able to handle it and how it made him realize just how handy he really is.
Transcript
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what's up guys it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the
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lives the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality
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guys today we have a Q and a F uh here with my man DJ what's up dude what's going on baby how are you
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hurting what you hurting from fucking leaves yesterday
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oh dude I was laughing so hard dude fuck that shit so DJ's got a house basically in my old
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neighborhood that I had with a million fucking trees with these listen it's a beautiful part of
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town he's got all these huge mature trees and he's having his uh he's having a realization about
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about uh how handy he really is and so my friend Scott lives in my old house that used to be uh
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right over where his new house is and so I see DJ on his Instagram like fucking piles of leaves four
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foot high and shit and I am laughing my ass off dude and I text the screenshot of it over to Scott
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and I say hey Scott go watch DJ's story and dude we had this conversation and I was like bro I'm like
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so did you what did you do with your leaves he's like oh I was out there right now Scott's lived
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there for like what fucking eight eight nine years now yeah and he's he's out there doing his leaves
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this shit and he's like fuck it I'm calling someone to do it and I'm like bro you still haven't figured
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out like that you're gonna call someone like what do you what do you guys you're gonna you're gonna
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call someone to figure it out anyway so why do you waste like three weeks of your life doing a
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little raking a little raking a little raking when you know you're gonna call someone honestly
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you know what it is for me man like I said it's pride like like you know first house like I want
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to take care of it part of being smart is knowing when you're stupid that's that's very very true
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all right and I know that now yeah like bro some of these jobs they're just best left to the paid
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professionals I agree you know get yourself a you know some battery operated power tools go out in
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the garage squeeze the trigger a couple times it'll make you feel good and then go back inside let
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professionals handle it that's it like bro I'll come drink a beer when they're done act like that's
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what I'm saying man like you know dude you that's an unwinnable battle in that part of St.
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Louis yeah like you can't win that battle dude it's miserable yeah and like that's the thing
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because like I fucking hate them I hate leaves yeah you know why because they never stay where
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they're supposed to stay they fucking go everywhere and it's like I walked out my fucking house this
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morning fixed my flag and they're fucking right back bro I get pissed off at like single leaves
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I'm still oppressed like I it's just you bro because you're black bro I get mad at like actual
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single leaves like I'll fucking I know everybody out there that does this shit is fucking like
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motherfucker I know exactly what you're talking about what we're talking about listen man
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sometimes you just gotta know when to let it go yeah you know what I'm saying if that makes you
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not a man then it is what the fuck it is I'll still cut the grass I still do all that shit
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you know what I've done so much of that shit in my life yeah people make fun of me about it and
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like my brother makes fun of me about it still he's like yeah you don't like Andy doesn't like
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physical labor yeah that's right I fucking don't you know why because I've done so much of it in my
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life and I don't want to do it no more yeah and now you know what I'm in a position in life where
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I can employ other people to do that job you don't have to yeah I mean that's right you know
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the economy bro and I feel fucking zero regret about it like motherfuckers try to shame you like
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oh look at your hands got no calluses and I got calluses bro they just ain't from fucking leaves
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right right right I mean fuck hey I mean I'm right there that's fucking doing it bro I'll be smoking
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I'm enjoying it with you that's it that's where that shit is for the birds I know that it is but
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if you're gonna do it do it right but the point is is like sometimes other people would do it better
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than you yeah and it's okay yeah that's right that's what we got today yes we got Q&AF man and
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um you know guys as always got three questions you guys can email your questions in to ask
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andy at andy for seller.com and um we answer them here on the show cool and uh we always
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appreciate the questions you got so yeah as long as they're not shitty yeah no shitty no no no shitty
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questions we don't appreciate those yeah no I don't let's be fucking real waste of time so make
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them good well let's get it let's let's get to it so question number one okay and so this is this
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it's not necessarily a a ceo business leader um this is just more of a leader question I guess
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um so this person that that wrote this question in he says that he recently got promoted to a
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general manager so he's got some leadership right um but and now he's in charge of his friends and
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co-workers how does he how should he go about drawing those boundaries without burning bridges with
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well look man everybody tries to over complicate this it's not that complicated the reason that people
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have a problem with this is because they let their ego get involved when it becomes uh attached to a
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title right like people get a new title and it's manager like now they think they're the fucking boss
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right and like and like dude so they do is they try to come in and they try to posture and assert this
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like fake dominance over the team which is completely the wrong way you should even approach leading a
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team you know leading a team starts by the example you set by communication uh by working
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together towards a common goal so um running in there right away uh and being like I'm the boss
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and you have to listen to me that's like the weakest fucking kind of leadership you could ever have
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and this is why most people struggle with it because that's what the perception of leadership is
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that's what they've been fed that's what the media showed them that's what tv showed them that's what
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hollywood showed them and that's what they think leading is about the leading isn't about that
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leading is about really simple shit like uh working with a bunch of other people to solve a fucking
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problem and setting everybody's ego aside for for the result of the mission so I think the biggest
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thing that you have to do up front is to approach the right way and understand like okay just the
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fact that you have a new title does not make you stronger or better or more capable or even more
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valuable than the people that you lead and two your job as a as a leader is to one accomplish the task
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of hand and two personally develop the skill set of the team below you so that one day they can lead
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and you can move on to your next position so that is done best with a humble attitude uh but a strong
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value system and uh a good ear and uh a quiet mouth that's the truth a lot of people think leadership
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is by yelling and screaming and motivating and this that's not leadership bro that's the glorified
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level of leadership that's like one out of every 1 000 days of leading is going to be that energy
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uh you know let's go burn the motherfucker down type shit and that's what people think leading is
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about leading is very simple listen ask them what they think ask them what they think the solutions are
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collaborate on those solutions and then whatever the best solution is make the decision and if it hurts
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people's feelings it hurts people's feelings but that's what it is it's for the best of the team
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so don't look at it as my best devices don't look at it as um you know some sort of new power
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advancement in your life instead look at it as an opportunity to further everybody along with you
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to further their careers to solve problems together um and to accomplish more together and and you'll have
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much less of this this situation you know this situation that this person's talking about
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uh is usually a hundred percent due to someone's misunderstanding of what leadership is
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and uh and letting their ego sort of uh um run the play instead of instead of their heart and their
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mind yeah so yeah that's a great point i remember my uh high school football coach he told me he said
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not always usually how you got the role is how you keep the role right and i just think about
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with leadership you know so if you were a great fucking you know employee somebody notices that
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they move you up yeah so so keep the role how you got it yeah and the thing is too is to understand that
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all leadership is pure leadership like the actual group like it doesn't matter if someone comes in
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and says um hey you're in charge if the team doesn't believe that you're in charge right you know
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i'm saying so sounds real familiar right now yeah yeah right exactly no shit dude so it doesn't just
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because you have a title doesn't mean you're in charge right um what it means is you have a title
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and you're supposed to live up to that title not that that title gives you uh the right to impose
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things on your friends and your team which is what creates the problems yeah so instead of looking at
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looking at it as uh you know you're running the show look at it as your decision is to decide the
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best move of the greater good of the team yeah and and if you go over that attitude you'll have far
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less resistance and far more buy-in yeah so yeah it does sound familiar yeah it sounds super fucking
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coming in and imposing all these fucking new mandates for us and shit yeah and it's going to take
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one or two it's going to take and we're you know obviously y'all know what we're talking about if you
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don't you better ask somebody but here's the thing man um you know i predicted in the next 12 months
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you're going to see some citizen leaders rise up to uh take control of the people and i don't i don't
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mean in a revolutionary way but like there's plenty of people that are far more influential than our
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elected leaders right now for sure right and those voices are only going to get stronger they're only
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going to get more unifying because dude our country is not is made up of great people it just is
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and they could try to make us seem racist they could try to make us seem uh misogynistic they
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could try to make us seem homophobic they could try to make us seem all this shit but we all know
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that we go out in the real world we're not those people so we're tired of being told that we are bad
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and pieces of shit and all this stuff and i think in the next 12 months you know going into that 2022
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election we're going to see some mlks of the people rise up we're going to see some new jfks
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we're going to see some new fucking leaders stand up and lead this country in the right direction and
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these aren't just politicians i'm talking about new cultural icons that i think will emerge from this
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time in history yeah based around the the situation that we just talked about yeah 100 so if that's you
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uh i would lead that way because all the greatest leaders lead that way awesome okay so question
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number two so uh you know you you talk i love this point because it's something i've never never really
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like understood but you know the difference between a skill and a trait right and you speak on it
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beautifully um but the question is so so do you believe that entrepreneurship in itself is it a skill
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or is it a trick i think it's a very comparable me and gary v had a conversation about this one time
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and uh you know i i i i don't always agree with gary but a lot of times i do yeah and and sometimes i
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don't agree with them like now and later i do and sometimes i i agree with them now and later i don't
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you know what i'm saying so like we have a cool relationship because it really i think i think both of
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us take each other's perspective uh from a genuine place um you know when i think of of entrepreneurship
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as a skill or a trait um i think it is a skill and a trait uh sort of like how lebron james's
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physical build lends him to be a great basketball player so so he's developed all these something is
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innate correct yeah he had he's six eight or whatever he is right 280 pounds of fucking muscle
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yeah he's physically has the natural inclination to be great at something he also has worked very
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hard his entire life to become and so i think that's the difference like and i that's i believe
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that's the exact example we used on our podcast many years ago with him and i did um and i think
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he's the one that brought it up i can't remember it was like a long time ago but but either way i
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thought the analogy was pretty correct i thought it was very uh a very healthy way to think about it
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right anybody most people most athletic like just let's just break it down to sports right yeah
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mo okay i'll bring it down for myself all right did i have the i was a good athlete did i have the
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ability to play in the nfl probably yeah probably i didn't even play college now i now now i'm saying
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now back then i'm just hypothetically saying i didn't have the work ethic back then but when i look
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back now and i see the tools i had i i could have been a i could have been a guy who made a roster at
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least a practice squad somewhere yeah just if i would have if i would have known how to work
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yeah all right but there's no fucking chance i had the physical abilities to be a pro bowl player
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or an all-star or a hall of famer right and so i think in entrepreneurship that's sort of how it is
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right there's people who are naturally inclined to be entrepreneurs who also then work very hard
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and become legendary entrepreneurs yeah but most entrepreneurs um i think it's skill i think it's
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you know and by the way don't take that as discouraging if you're not a naturally inclined
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entrepreneur there's plenty of them out there become very wealthy very successful very impactful
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um and you know they've had to grid it out you know what i'm saying they learned as they went
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that's totally possible i think there's also people out there who are naturally inclined to
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be great entrepreneurs um i think those people are usually similar to where i kind of grew up where
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like i was always that kid selling baseball cards or snow cones or lemonade or fucking light bulbs or
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you know i just had that thing like i've always wanted to do my own thing and uh you know i didn't
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ever do well in school and it wasn't because i wasn't smart it was because i knew that i didn't
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need the information they were teaching me to be good at what i wanted to do um so i you know and i do
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think i know i'm one of those i'm one of those people that's naturally inclined and so things that
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are very challenging for other people um maybe came a little bit easier for me because i've been
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thinking about it since i was fucking eight right you know what i'm saying right right right um but
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that's why i do this show and that's why i do arte syndicate and that's why i i partner and and do
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all these events you know um when i go speak at a big event now i don't i don't even take a paycheck
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i just go for free uh to help out and contribute the reason i do this show is to contribute and and it's
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because i realize like i it's not it doesn't come as naturally as it does maybe to me as it does for
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other people yeah um and that's okay i want them to understand that that's a that's a normal thing
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but i would say you know that's it's like that you know it's uh it's a little bit of both uh the good
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part is people who are naturally inclined are not always disciplined to build skills and they actually
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end up they end up becoming the people who build companies and lose their shit and build companies and
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lose their shit and build companies and lose their shit their whole life right and sometimes they end up
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in jail and shit like you know yeah it's just like the talented fucking first round draft picks bro
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who you know uh ryan leaf guys like that who like we're supposed to be all this shit you young guys
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might not know that but like he he and ryan if you listen to the show cool i hope he's doing great
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but i'm just saying like there's guys that come through the nfl that are supposed to be great
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and have all this natural talent and never really work out because they haven't built the discipline
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and the skill set they've been relying on exactly yeah yeah and we see that all this all the time
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we see it in every area of life yeah like we see it in we see an attractive females who are in their
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20s and have never developed good habits and then we see them in their 30s and they look fucking 30
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years older right because they never had to work to have it in their 20s okay same with men you know
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and then we see the guys the men and women who were maybe uh in their early 20s or they might have
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been out of shape and shitty and then they transform but then they keep it right right they
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might not have good genetics but they keep it because they develop the skills and so the skills
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are much more important than the natural talent so it's very important that if you're not one of
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these people out there who has this natural gift um like some of these other guys may have or girls may
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have yeah you still have every uh available option to compete and defeat those kind of people
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right it's gonna be hard for you to defeat someone who's naturally inclined and also very disciplined
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yeah um but you know who's to say it's impossible it's not impossible it happens every day right i'm
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just saying those people are going to be harder than the people who just come in with some fucking
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talent you know and i think right now um you know entrepreneurship's cool still i think it's a
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viable option i think the more we let freedom get restricted the less of an option it becomes um
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just because the numbers don't make sense when it comes to tax rates and fucking profits supply chain and
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how these things are priced and all these things like it's getting harder to be an entrepreneur
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which is why i'm so vocal about freedom um because i want this dream that i've been fortunate enough to
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live so far to be available to anybody else who wants it you know regardless of what where they come
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from or what their race is or what we're all fucking americans to me bro right you know i'm saying
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and here in america we need to have that fucking dream and that's why i talk so much about that stuff
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that's fucking dope all right third and final question for you andy um
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and this one it seems it seems very simple a very simple question but i know there's there's some
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complexities to it and there's there's a little you can get a little deeper but the the question is how
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should somebody choose a mentor you know like is it somebody in the field out of the field i mean what
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what do you think what's your base guy dude i i think i think the mentorship the idea of mentorship
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as is has existed traditionally in the terms of uh entrepreneurship but really in general
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is sort of outdated okay and here's what i mean by that back in the old days uh you know back in my
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day you know i walked two miles from my school all the ways uphill bitch all right back in my day
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little kitties oh so like but for real like back in my day uh look it was normal for you to try to
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like find one person to attach to and i was lucky dude i had a good dad who's smart in business so i had
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that right um but nowadays i think it's a little different i think you don't just get one person to
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learn from i think it's important that you learn from people um who have skill sets and then go learn
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the skill set to become well-rounded so like i might learn how to sell from this person i might learn
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how to build um a movement through this person i might i mean like you get what i'm saying so like
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all my little disciplines that i learn i might go pick up from that's just this is how i try to think
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you know like i try to look at people who are the very fucking best at what they do examine what they
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do from the outside now i am not an active mentor person like i don't actively mentor anybody one-on-one
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uh because it's not financially feasible for me like you have to pay me so much fucking money to do that
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like i don't like the people who need it couldn't afford it yeah right so um and i don't i don't have
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someone one person that mentors me i look at people for their skill sets and i try to from the
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and by the way people can mentor you without ever buying their program or ever fucking uh going to
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their events or anything just by observing what they do and that's what i'm big about like i like to
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look at the people who are the best at what they do and observe their techniques and try to try to
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deconstruct them uh from what i see to how they probably got there yeah and then how that applies
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to me and my companies and my missions and what i'm trying to do and so i actually have you know
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and when i when i when i think of people who who influence me and that's a better word i think
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influence than mentor i think you know i think i think a lot of sounds like a two-way street like
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i have to ask they have to accept it's like it's this weird thing like dude i'm not remember grasshopper
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yeah right like it's just weird and like i don't i don't think that's the way people really learn
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nowadays i think you know in the old days you had to do that because the like you guys don't
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understand like there wasn't all these people to learn from like if you didn't know someone who was
00:21:13.980
successful in real life uh you were fucked all you had left was to read a book about it so then you had
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to like develop it on your own nowadays we have this shit all over in our face everywhere so much so
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that we got people who aren't even successful running mentorship groups right and like dude we
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have to like and that's their success the the money they make from the group so we have to really be
00:21:38.080
careful to not fall into those traps because it's really relevant everywhere right now in the
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entrepreneur culture it's important to uh check that the person is actually and this is just how i
00:21:51.200
would do it if they're making all the primarily make their money off of fucking mastermind or coaching
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and shit that's the wrong fucking coach bro yeah that's the person who's parroting shit that's the
00:22:01.240
person who's talking in theory not not in fact um you know i it's not impressive to anybody who
00:22:09.740
actually runs shit i would look for people who actually have real fucking companies that you can go in
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the stores and buy their motherfucking products right okay that you can go and see their products
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in real life like they've actually created something those are the people you want to learn from those are
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the people who know the real shit okay and there's levels to it there's you know your first million
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dollars in sales your first 10 million your first 100 million your first billion right there's levels
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to this shit and at each level you're going to need new skills but also maintain the skills that
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got you to that first point so it's important that you don't just chain yourself to try to be a carbon
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copy of one type of person because if you do first of all they've already done it and what i see a lot
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of people do with this this young mentorship mindset is they try to emulate the person that is their
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mentor like they try to emulate their tone the way they talk their style their sweat dude yeah
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the same tattoo like it's weird it's like cult of shit yeah okay but it's not healthy no like you
00:23:13.100
should never look up to someone that much to where like you want to be exactly like them your whole
00:23:17.320
goal is to be exactly is to bring out the fucking monster inside of you because that person is unique
00:23:25.660
that person has their own style their own swagger and their own attractiveness to the rest of the
00:23:30.840
world when i say attractiveness i'm not talking about uh you know getting laid i'm talking about
00:23:36.180
attractiveness and the appeal of your brand which is you okay so one of the biggest secrets of my
00:23:42.900
brand is that there ain't another motherfucking me there isn't no like you come hear me speak
00:23:47.760
it's different than every other motherfucking speaker you ever gonna hear okay uh you you
00:23:53.220
consume my podcast it sounds different than everybody else right you know i didn't fucking
00:23:58.080
copy this shit from anybody i developed it over a long time by doing what i'm talking about now
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that should be your goal your goal should be to cultivate and push out into the world that
00:24:10.120
badass motherfucker that lives inside of you that you pretend to be when no one's around
00:24:14.760
and you're listening to the music that you're vibing to and you're feeling awesome and you're
00:24:18.780
driving in your car you're like yeah i'm a bad motherfucker that little version of you is going
00:24:22.700
to be the one that everybody's attracted to it's just a matter of being courageous enough to put it the
00:24:27.540
fuck out there and let it develop and that's really the truth because every single human has it in
00:24:32.160
them they just don't have the courage to put it out so put it out yeah and then work to develop it
00:24:39.760
and brand it and guys you're gonna have a unique vibe to your own shit you know i'm saying somebody
00:24:46.600
would be looking at bro and that's attractive it's attractive to it's attractive to people who
00:24:50.780
are the opposite sex who are the same sex who fucking uh you know your customers people want to be
00:24:57.340
around you they want to get more consume more of it because they can't get it anywhere else it's
00:25:02.500
scarce so it's valuable and that can only happen through your own personal development
00:25:07.440
god dude i'm fucking good bro i'm fucking good motherfuckers you should share this fucking show
00:25:14.020
yo i mean that's three so pay the fucking fee you better fucking pay the fee on this one yeah
00:25:18.640
that's fucking fire hey it is what it is all right guys look for real dude i you know
00:25:27.340
take what that last question is probably the most important thing you could ever understand about
00:25:31.480
building a successful brand all right you who you are is a scarce commodity stop being
00:25:39.120
what the fuck everybody else there are that space is already filled okay so what space are you going to
00:25:46.160
occupy and instead of letting that become some fucking like mental strategy of yours let it come out of
00:25:55.140
you dude let it come out of you it's it's it's it's a nuance it's emotion it's a it's a it's a it's a
00:26:02.340
courageous like just transparency that is an authenticity that people are attracted to and if
00:26:09.680
you're that if you can develop that and by the way it took me a long time to develop that i am super
00:26:14.460
introverted okay but if you can develop that there's literally nothing that you can't do you can't
00:26:20.840
there's nothing you can't do and everybody has it in them they're just scared to let it out
00:26:25.160
so so yeah guys that's the show all right q and af i thought that was a good one i hope you did too
00:26:32.880
if it was a good one hey man do this for me okay i'm trying to grow this show all right i feel like
00:26:39.120
my voice is important right now i feel like we're bringing the truth i feel like we're bringing shit
00:26:43.120
and our goal is to bring this culture back around to a unified freedom loving ass kicking america
00:26:50.600
okay that is inclusive for every motherfucker out there so guys do me a favor and help me grow this
00:26:56.940
show instead of just sharing it dude text your friend and get him to listen bro like let's get some
00:27:03.020
active getting people hooked on this shit yeah bro because i'll be the motherfucking voice for you guys
00:27:08.860
if you agree with what i'm saying dude and you think this is good shit do me a salad and go to
00:27:13.880
work on helping me share this show it's for real all right i appreciate you guys i love you guys and i'll
00:27:20.140
went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions in the
00:27:26.500
cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case close