184. Q&AF： Building Your Circle, Main Reason Why Entrepreneurs Fail & Ending Toxic Friendships
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of The Realists, Andy Priscilla and I talk about how important it is to be the epicenter of your network and how to make sure that you re making the most out of it.
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies
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the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we
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have a qnaf and before we start i'd like to remind you that we have a fee fee is not monetary the fee
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is very simple if you learn if it makes you laugh if it gives you a new perspective
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that makes you think different if you think it's good information that people need to hear
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share the show man we put a lot into producing this show we don't inundate the show with a bunch
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of bullshit ads i don't run ads all in your fucking social feed for the show straight value
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exchange just like america should be if we do good you share us if we don't do good don't share us
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but i'm getting censored pretty heavy on the internet right now and that's why i've shifted
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most of my content onto this show actually enjoying it i actually enjoy the daily or almost daily shows
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and eventually we'll get this shit organized to where it's a true daily show but i need your help
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growing the show i need you guys to tell your like-minded friends when the conversations come
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up and you're arguing with your uh with your stupid friends that don't agree with the smart shit that
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you say that you learned on the show you know don't tell them about it but tell everybody else
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all right what's up dude what's going on another day yeah big day yeah what's today qnaf man oh yeah
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yeah it's gonna be a good one man big day i got three good ones for you yeah let's get started
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because i took a i took 20 milligrams of edibles and if we go too long the show might get weird
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all right so i'm just warning you guys right now so we're gonna actually teach some shit yeah let's
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teach it real within the next 30 minutes because after 30 after the next 30 minutes i got some shit to
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do gotcha all right it's called record it's called record uh cti yeah right and that's gonna be the
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great one right all right all right guys so as always got three questions for andy you can email
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your questions in to ask andy at andy for seller.com um as always we appreciate those questions so keep
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sending them in and with that being said let's go ahead and knock these out so question number one
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andy how big is your circle i know but i thought i was gonna say something else but how big is your
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circle right like do you believe that it should be this huge circle of of people should it be more
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intimate you know with the world and everything there's network capital going on right now everybody's
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about networking right but how do you regulate that circle what that look like for you well when you're
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actually valuable um you don't have to network people come to you so how i look at it is i create
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the most value uh that i possibly can out of my own skill set and then whoever deserves to be there
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who could contribute to that or who can help pull me to a higher place to where i'm trying to go
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or help push me to a higher place that i'm trying to go uh or contribute in any way those are the
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people that get to be in that circle and so i think there's a lot of fake uh not fake but
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let's say when you're less valued okay and you actually don't have real i think a lot of people
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put too much emphasis on their network and not this is not enough emphasis on creating their own
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valuable uh position meaning i see a lot of people online especially younger people think that if they
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uh you know network long enough they're going to network to the point where they discover someone
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who's going to like put them on or it's it's it's done with the mentality of what can i what can i
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take yeah and i think that you know all of us should strive to be the epicenter of our networks you know
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what i'm saying so like what i try to do is be the leader of my network not be the uh the web of the
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network and i do that by being as valuable as i can now i have people in that circle who are also
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what i would consider to be doing the same level of things and those are the people that we consult
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back and forth forth with but like i'm not going to fucking networking groups right you know to see
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what i can get and so the best way to create a network is by building a great product within
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yourself right yeah um how do you benefit other people what does your company do how does your
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company benefit other people how does uh your presence benefit other people what can you offer
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what can you what can you do and those building those things is what actually creates a beneficial
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network not going to every single networking meeting that you possibly can uh hoping that someone's going
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to do the thing whatever the thing is that's going to make you go where you're trying to go yeah i think
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a lot of people think that's how it works it's just not how it works yeah so uh and the other way to
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look at networking is if you don't have um you know let's say i'm i'm looking back to where i was
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let's say 15 years ago right i didn't have anything and my network then was people that i could learn
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from people that were higher than me people that i tried to spend time around um people that could
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teach me things and people that i could just observe and and learn and you know build my own
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skill set but even then the mentality still was to build the best me not take from everybody else
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hoping they're going to be some hack that they know to get me where i want to go
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an insinuation that i get from most people who are trying to network is that they bring almost
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nothing to the table and like bro if you don't bring anything to the table you know you got to
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realize that people that have a whole bunch of shit going on they don't have time to fuck with you
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you know what i'm saying like like magic johnson did an interview about this a while back
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where he's talking about like you know he only had so much time right and the bigger he's gotten and
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the more he's uh gain in in the business world the bigger the deals have to be for him to even take
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the meetings and people people see that as disrespect arrogance yeah but it's not what it is is he
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understands he only has so much time and he has to dedicate those times to the things that are going to
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pay off at his level that he's trying to be at right right right and people that aren't at that
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level they they feel that is like a slight or as a disrespect and that's what i always try to tell
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people is like you haven't done anything yet to earn that respect you know what i'm saying so your
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concentration when it comes to networking should be to surround yourself with people you can learn
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from whether that would and by the way you don't have to talk to people to learn from them you can just
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be a student of them back in my day i wasn't able to talk to people um that i looked up to i just had
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to learn everything i could about them and observe and then deduct uh the skills that i needed from what
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i was able to observe and people seem to have lost that they think they got to have some personal
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relationship with someone to learn from them and that's just not the case you're just not paying
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attention right if you pay attention to what people do and how they run their businesses um
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and and and the moves they make okay you're going to learn a hell of a lot more than what they're ever
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going to tell you because most of these guys won't tell you their moves anyway right you see what i'm
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saying so you've almost got to become a student of people's behavior uh you know to get what you're
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looking for out of networking yeah you know i'm saying that resonates so much because for the we've all
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heard the the phrase right it's not what you know it's who you know right but i've always thought
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about i'm like that doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to me because you can meet the
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fucking president of the fucking u.s right but what do you know like if you don't know anything
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that doesn't mean it doesn't help right you can know whoever you want to go it's not it is what you
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know listen to that the way the world works is on value exchange yeah okay if you can't do nothing
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for the president he ain't doing nothing for you right all right so so if you want to be in the
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president circle you've got to build enough value in yourself to where he sees value in that
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and now all of a sudden there's an exchange possible all right but like there is not a
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situation there's very rare situations where someone at the beginning level gets some sort
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of gift from someone who's up at the higher levels yeah right they it just doesn't happen
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like they're not going to invest in you they're not going to give you their money they're not going
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to fuck you're not going to be best friends you know they're not going to dm you every single
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time and if you dm them enough they're going to mute you no for real out of necessity because
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you're you're you're selfishly taking too much of their time and people take this as a personal
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insult it's not a personal insult you're unaware of the place that you play in this fucking power
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structure yeah and that's a very real thing so like if you like for me i'm just being real
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like if you can't help me get further to where i want to go i'm probably not fucking with you
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yeah at all like you're not coming to my house we're not fucking having a smoke we're not chilling
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we're not drinking beers and that's not because i'm better than that it's because i only have so
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much time and that time has to be dedicated with people who can help push me or pull me to the place
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i need to go and that's important it's not selfish because there's a lot of people that depend on me
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so if i misuse that time i have thousands of people that suffer on the back end so you see it as selfish
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when i see it as a necessity you understand yeah so the network that you want to build is going to be
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one that comes uh that is in proportion to what value you provide and too many people out there
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have listened to too many of these gurus and think they could dm their way to some sort of fucking
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place in business and guys the internet's powerful it's a powerful tool it's not reality okay business is
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still done in the real world with real motherfuckers that's why that's why you don't see people uh you
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know like elon musk or these guys bezos or these guys who are doing really really massive shit they're
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not active on fucking social media because it doesn't serve their time yeah okay like for me i'm
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still a little fish like a lot of people see me as a big fish but i compare myself to those guys
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so in my mind i'm a little bitty fish i'm a fucking minnow bro yeah you know i'm saying and i know
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that i i have to value my time in a way to where it benefits where i'm trying to go to does that make
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sense it makes perfect fucking yeah so you can't get pissed at people when they don't want you in
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their fucking circle right your goal should be to become good enough to where they invite you in the
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circle they say hey you know what and this is how it goes too you you you have your little circle
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right at this level i've got my circle and there's fucking dudes that are way further than me right
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i'm not in their circle i'm not trying to be in their circle i'm trying to get good enough to where
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they want me in their circle right right that's how it fucking works yep okay and how it works is
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you meet one of these guys right like i meet one like for example like if someone were to come into
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my circle my company's worth billions of dollars my circle's pretty up there yeah you know i'm saying
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so what i do is i and this is not me trying to sound like an egotistical fuck but i recognize
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i can recognize someone when they're going to be something because i've been doing this for a long
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time so like when i see someone who might be like you know at 25 or 26 years old and i can see they're
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hustling i can see they're on the path i might reach out and say some encouraging shit to them or i
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might give them my cell phone number or i might do something that will help them feel encouraged like
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they're moving along the right way right that's how people that are upper will pull people up it's
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not like i pull put my arm around someone and say oh here's what you need to do blah blah blah blah
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blah like if you're not fucking smart enough to watch me and learn on your own i'm not even going to try
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you see what i'm saying yep yep so stop valuing this idea of you know network network network network
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and start realizing that that saying that your network is your net worth only matters when you're
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actually worth some shit too you know i'm saying yeah bro that's fucking awesome so if you network
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with a bunch of fucking losers what's your network worth loser shit okay so be valuable and then you'll
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lose your shit listen develop skills become valuable read books that actually teach you fucking real
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skills go out execute those real skills in the real life start building shit okay then the value
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comes later the whole problem with this whole generation of people is everybody thinks they're
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going to do it like the minute they think like oh dude i'm just i'm going to become an entrepreneur
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see you in 20 years bro right you know i'm saying like right this is not a game there's people in here
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that are like apex predators bro that understand every little nuance of every single thing
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everything and that takes 20 something years to get get to so you you being three years in
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deciding you know you were a a fucking accountant three years ago or whatever the fuck you were
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in construction or whatever right and you think that you should be in somebody my circle because
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and you think it's rude that you're not in it bro you're delusional yeah no for real yeah and people
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need to quit taking it personally i wasn't allowed in anybody's motherfucking circle i was shit on by
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everybody that's part of the process fuck man we got entitlement issues we got instant gratification
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issues and the sad thing is is that we have more opportunity than we've ever had ever ever ever
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ever ever ever and people shit on it because they can't have it in a fucking year or two years
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so anyway so so question number two moving on from that expand on to that right what's the number one
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reason why entrepreneurs fail real simple they quit that's it it's the number one reason is they quit
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the number two reason is they're too stupid to learn from their mistakes they make the same mistakes over
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and over and over again those two things kill almost every single company at one point you either stop
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or you keep making the same mistakes over and over again i am convinced 100 that anybody that starts a
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business that they are smart enough to actually learn from their mistakes and not repeat them over and over
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and over again and they have the capacity to not quit you can be successful in business remember when we
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talked about this shit where like uh there's people who are naturally uh have a propensity to be
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entrepreneurs and then like they could be hall of fame entrepreneurs right right and then there's
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there's grit players people who gritted their way into the game you can be a very successful grit player
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with those two principles very successful i'm talking you can build a nine an eight nine figure
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fucking worth business maybe even bigger with just those two things so and i think anybody can do
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that i mean bro there's the fucking snuggie sold 150 million dollars worth of shit a year that's just
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a fucking blanket with holes bro it's a fucking robe worn backwards all right you get what i'm saying
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yeah like bro there's there's there's all kinds of shit out there that can be made into businesses
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it just takes those two things so the reason most companies fail is because of that now other
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reasons company fail um you know most of those have to do with their inability to adapt okay they were
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they were this is what kills a lot of medium-sized companies they get to a certain point and they
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continue to ride the same uh skill set and do the exact same things at this middle level forever and
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they don't realize that every company every brand has a life cycle to it and they don't adapt they
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don't uh reinvent themselves consistently and uh you know they they die and and you know then another
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reason is you know second generation business owners third generation business owners kill almost
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all the businesses uh most of those business people fail because they weren't there to build it they
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weren't there to put in the blood sweat and tears they don't value it the same they don't make
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decisions the same they're not as aggressive and they end up getting their asses beat now that's
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not every single one there's that's just the majority of those people so uh which is funny because like
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if you ask the normal person they they think that every business was inherited you know and right you
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know blah blah blah blah blah and what you don't realize is that all the motherfuckers that inherit
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their business end up losing it at some point you see what i'm saying yeah so it's just a
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funny thing i've noticed but yeah so it's fucking dope yeah all right does that make sense no it
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makes perfect fucking sense yeah absolutely so question number three uh last but not least
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what's the best way to end a friendship okay so a little backstory uh this is somebody who you know
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maybe they just don't fit what you need or want in a friend right so you know and it seems like a
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basic question i know but um you know so this person has a good friend they've been friends for
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a long time okay and they just don't see them growing or even wanting to grow and they're afraid
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that it's going to hold them back any advice on that look dude
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yeah i do have some advice but it's real shit that most people don't want to admit it
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your friends are gonna come and go motherfucker you know i'm saying you're gonna have different
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friends at every level of your life they're gonna come they're gonna play a part they're gonna go
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very few people stick with you from start to be start to end very few you probably count them on both
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hands if you're lucky and that's just reality and people don't like that every time you level up
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you're gonna find new friends that suit your your goals uh and encourage your beliefs and encourage
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you to keep going and this is what i talk about with no man's land you know people who start
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businesses okay and you've got your old high school buddies you know and you know you start
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that business and you start dedicating more and more time to that business and less and less time
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doing the same old shit and they start saying the shit right like we all heard it oh you think
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you're too good for us oh andy you know you think you're gonna be some rich dude oh andy you know
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you're fucking too cool for us now and they say these little slice you know ingest trying to make you
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feel a little guilty for not going out and getting fucked up every fucking weekend right or every
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fucking night and you know what happens is those people start they keep doing their shit and you
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stop doing that shit you start doing other things that serve you and then you for a while when you're
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in that zone you don't have many friends and that's called no man's land and most people never get past
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that point that's where the idea of um you know it's lonely at the top that shit you hear from people
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that's where they get that from because just outside the first comfort zone is a time where
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you're going to be lonely and most people never move past that so they think that that's the top
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motherfucker that ain't the top there's there's 10 different levels of this shit you got there's
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1 million your first million 10 million 20 million 50 million 100 million 500 million a billion okay and
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then beyond those are all different fucking levels okay and they come with different groups of
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friends they come with different lessons they come with different fucking uh social requirements
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and people don't like to hear this shit because people like the idea of having their same old high
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school buddies their whole life and guys it's just not real it's not real if you're going to be a
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fucking winner it's just not and bro that doesn't mean they're losers that just means they they chose a
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different path and it doesn't mean that you can't go back and hang with those motherfuckers
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sometimes and have a great fucking time you see what i'm saying you put too much value on this shit
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and you have to understand that when you're in between these levels uh you know that's what stops
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a lot of people you asked in the last question what kills people in business that kills a lot of people
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because people get out there in that no man's land and they're like fuck i'm all alone oh fuck this
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sucks and then what happens is the ones that some quit and go back and they go back and do they live the
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life that their buddies live and you know they live their whole lives and when they get to be
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whatever whenever they're going to die you know hopefully uh they die quick because those people
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end up with regrets about what they should have would have and could have done the people who keep
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going discover that that's a false reality there is no lonely at the top because when you get to that
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next level there's a whole bunch of motherfuckers at that level and they all support your goals and
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support your dreams and so and so now all of a sudden you have all this extra energy to go forward
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that you didn't have when you were with this first group because they weren't even supporting you
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all right your your fucking girls you date at that time they nag you and they fucking they they keep
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you you know why are you working so much blah blah all that bullshit right you get to this level and
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all of a sudden you're around all these successful people and the the partners you date now they're also
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on that vibe of trying to win you see i'm saying then you get to that next level and it gets even
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stronger and those people are even more skilled and are even more motivated and they even contribute
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to you to you more so i argue that the friendships and relationships actually get stronger and better
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they don't get worse because what would you rather be surrounded by would you rather be surrounded
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by like-minded people that encourage you and push you to be better or would you rather be surrounded
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by people who talk about the good old days who don't do a motherfucking thing other than criticize
00:22:21.060
every fucking negative thing they have in their life what would you rather be around yeah that's
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no-brainer yeah so the problem is your motherfuckers just don't go far enough to figure it out
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so i you know stop telling yourself this fantasy you know and bro there's exceptions to this like
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there's people that you will be close friends with um but the truth of the matter is is a lot of
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people have a hard time dealing i saw i heard this lyric and i think it was a golf song the other
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day where it said go go make yourself a whole bunch of money and watch how everybody changes
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i was thinking about that in the shower because everybody says oh you change you no motherfucker
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the world changes around you when you start to have that kind of money when you start to have
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fuck you money and fuck you success where it's where every fucking place you go every single person
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knows who the fuck you are and what you do and that you're bad as fuck with it people change and
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they treat you different completely different it's actually weird as fuck yeah but that's also why
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you have to not value that shit and value the real motherfuckers that care about you will tell you when
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you're fucking up will push you to be better will hold you to a higher standard because dude the truth
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is most of these people that you run into in your life when you're a successful person they want
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shit from you you know i'm saying so you got to surround yourself with people who have their own
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shit going on at your level yeah so that not you're not surrounded by a bunch of people just
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want shit from you like i want all my real friends they don't need anything from me or they've been
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with me for fucking since i was in seventh grade right you know i'm saying right and they usually and
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they they usually they work here work here and they do well so i guess they do need something from
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me but that ain't it's not like that it's not like i get it that's right i get it bro that's
00:24:05.660
fucking three yeah now go pay the fee that was fucking good well that was fucking like yeah
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it's a lot of shit people don't want to admit yeah yeah i'm saying like it's it's it's uh
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this is why i get so i have so much uh contempt for some of the shit these motherfuckers push out
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because i'm sitting over here like motherfucker i know you guys ain't successful because i can tell
00:24:27.920
by the way you talk about shit exactly exactly anyway fucking fire yeah so that's the show
00:24:34.600
24 minutes we got six minutes until my shit kicks in they're pretty good that's right i'm
00:24:39.280
watching the clock and i'm like where we at all right guys hey help us grow the show man we love
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you guys we're trying to contribute we're trying to make the world a better place i think you guys
00:24:49.580
know that stand up for us when people talk that shit smack them in the face yeah politically
00:24:57.060
shout out to billy man yeah i love billy i love that guy man i think that
00:25:03.400
bro i saw a clip of him hit that dude he's a fucking awesome speaker he's great he's fucking
00:25:09.220
good man i'm sorry billy i didn't know you were that good yeah no you're good bro yeah so shout
00:25:14.580
out to you there was real that was coming from a fucking deep down dude well it's a real person
00:25:19.260
yeah it's a real person you know what i'm saying like you know when you could tell like these crusty
00:25:23.320
motherfuckers on tv they don't give a fuck now when you hear when you hear certain people speak
00:25:27.540
you could just tell they fucking mean it yep that's what he says something some guy named bill
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bro he's a regular guy yeah it's awesome fucking dope anyway shout out to billy shout out to billy
00:25:35.700
man now share the show went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a
00:25:41.500
stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know