REAL AF with Andy Frisella - April 16, 2020


22. Real Talkļ¼š The Ego Pandemic


Episode Stats

Length

18 minutes

Words per Minute

166.3089

Word Count

3,099

Sentence Count

189

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary

In this episode of The Realists, Andy Priscilla talks about why the Realists stopped growing and why ego is the root cause of all of our problems. He also talks about how ego is a waste of energy and how we should be focusing on other things.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 What is up guys, you're listening to Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realists
00:00:17.680 say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking
00:00:23.540 reality.
00:00:24.060 Guys, before I get into the show, I don't even know what this show is exactly going to
00:00:29.700 be like because I'm not going with any notes today.
00:00:32.680 I'm going straight from the heart and before I get into that, I want to remind you that
00:00:38.180 first off, we appreciate you guys so much.
00:00:41.700 This is a really great community and just having you guys support our show and support
00:00:49.340 myself and our companies and, uh, you know, Sal and Vaughn and the whole crew here, DJ
00:00:54.820 Joe, my dad, dude, there is a lot of effort that goes into this show and, and a lot of
00:00:59.940 behind the scenes work that goes into it, uh, to put it on.
00:01:03.720 And I just wanted to say, I appreciate how much you all appreciate it.
00:01:08.520 Uh, it's very, very much noticed and appreciated by all of us.
00:01:13.540 And as you guys know, we do have a fee for the show.
00:01:19.100 The fee is if you like the show, if you gain some knowledge, if you gain some perspective,
00:01:25.280 if you learn some stuff that you think is helpful, we ask that you share the show.
00:01:30.460 All right.
00:01:31.200 This is the only way we grow the show.
00:01:33.320 And for a number of years, the last five years or so, we've been able to compete with some
00:01:37.800 of the biggest podcasts in the world.
00:01:39.940 And for a long time, actually be the biggest podcast in the world, just based off of your
00:01:45.700 guys' support.
00:01:46.780 So I just want to say, thank you, man.
00:01:49.140 You know, a lot of these other guys are out there spending big money to promote their podcast.
00:01:53.060 Uh, they're running ads, you know, they're spending all kinds of production value money
00:01:57.020 and crazy shit.
00:01:58.480 And the reality is, is we don't have to do it and we don't have to take on sponsors and
00:02:03.880 we don't have to do any of that stuff and waste the first 10 minutes of the show going
00:02:07.680 through all the sponsors because you guys support the show.
00:02:11.100 And so I just want to say, thanks, man.
00:02:13.000 And I, I, I ask that you keep sharing it.
00:02:15.260 Uh, we're trying to grow this show and it's going to become more and more important that
00:02:19.580 you share this show as the time goes on and you're going to start to see why.
00:02:24.140 Um, and, and, and, and you can read between the lines there if you want.
00:02:27.680 Uh, but it will get more important.
00:02:30.000 Now today I have something that's on my mind.
00:02:34.000 You know, I've been looking around this, this time in our society, you know, we have the
00:02:40.240 COVID-19 pandemic going on a very real situation.
00:02:44.200 Um, very real situation from a number of different aspects, right?
00:02:47.600 We've got people that are getting sick and some of those people are dying and that happens
00:02:52.300 with every pandemic.
00:02:53.740 Uh, we've, we've got a lot of businesses that are really hurting right now.
00:02:57.460 We've got a lot of employees that are very unsure, very uncertain anxiety is at an all
00:03:03.200 time high for all of us.
00:03:04.800 Let's be real, uh, frustration, anger.
00:03:08.060 There's just a huge mix of emotions.
00:03:10.440 You know, no one knows what to believe.
00:03:12.980 And then on top of that, we have people who are unwilling to move off the hill that they
00:03:22.660 have planted their flag of life upon in terms of their political affiliations.
00:03:29.640 Now I'm not going to get into the politics of this because that's not what I want the
00:03:35.180 show to be about right now.
00:03:37.200 I mean, there's so much of that shit going around, right?
00:03:39.380 Like, dude, I'm getting tired of hearing it.
00:03:41.080 I'm getting tired of hearing myself talk about it.
00:03:43.640 That's the truth.
00:03:44.400 All right.
00:03:45.660 But there's a lesson here in this that I think is worthy of talking about.
00:03:51.240 And it's comes down to the reason that we stopped growing and the reason that we stopped
00:03:58.520 evolving and the reason that we stopped progressing in life.
00:04:01.760 And that's ego.
00:04:03.480 All right.
00:04:04.240 And I want to give you guys a talk.
00:04:06.180 A lot of people, they think ego is like, you know, flexing who you are and, you know,
00:04:12.520 talking loud and all this stuff.
00:04:14.720 But really, that isn't it at all.
00:04:16.840 Ego is something that is very good for you that you need because it gives you the false
00:04:23.280 confidence you need sometimes when you don't have confidence to actually go out and pursue
00:04:29.400 what it is that you want.
00:04:30.800 So there's good ego, right?
00:04:32.340 That's a good thing sometimes.
00:04:34.160 Sometimes we need ourselves to hype ourselves up to get us to go do some shit that maybe we
00:04:39.720 thought we couldn't really do.
00:04:41.040 That's how ego serves us in a positive way.
00:04:43.920 It gives us those little bursts of courage that we wouldn't normally have.
00:04:48.440 And you know what?
00:04:49.420 Sometimes when we get those little bursts of courage and we fall on our face, everybody
00:04:53.560 laughs and our ego gets bruised.
00:04:55.900 All right.
00:04:56.640 It happens to all of us, but that's okay.
00:04:59.320 But what I want to talk about here is how the ego actually keeps you from progressing as
00:05:05.260 a human.
00:05:06.100 All right.
00:05:06.780 Because this is how it goes.
00:05:08.000 And I don't think enough people understand this.
00:05:10.840 Because what I'm seeing right now and where this came from was observing everybody's opinions
00:05:17.140 and reactions to COVID.
00:05:19.620 All right.
00:05:20.620 Everybody in America is dealing with this right now.
00:05:24.080 It doesn't matter if you're far left, far right, middle of the road.
00:05:29.080 It doesn't matter if you're black.
00:05:31.000 It doesn't matter if you're white.
00:05:32.640 It doesn't matter if you're yellow.
00:05:34.160 It doesn't matter if you're purple.
00:05:36.180 It doesn't matter if you're red.
00:05:37.860 It doesn't matter if you're gay, if you're straight or what gender you consider yourself
00:05:42.620 to be.
00:05:43.180 It affects everybody.
00:05:46.140 Everybody.
00:05:47.440 Okay.
00:05:47.700 But yet we have a scenario now where everybody is dying to politicize this issue.
00:05:55.660 And they're arguing over the details of the issue.
00:05:59.040 And they're having these moral judgments of people.
00:06:03.420 Okay.
00:06:03.800 And I want to kind of just, this is what inspired this topic.
00:06:08.140 So that's why I'm talking about it.
00:06:11.000 The problem with your ego is this, and this is what most people do.
00:06:15.480 Most people get to the age of adulthood and they get to be 19, 20, 21, 22 years old.
00:06:23.420 And they decide then what it is they stand for.
00:06:28.360 They decide at a very young age.
00:06:30.600 And sometimes it's even younger than that.
00:06:33.200 Sometimes it's when you're 12, you're 13, and you're 14.
00:06:35.920 And you're trying to please your parents or whoever you look up to, your uncle or your
00:06:41.520 dad or your mom, or maybe it's your grandpa.
00:06:44.760 You're trying to form a persona that pleases that person that you admire.
00:06:51.840 Okay.
00:06:52.200 And so what happens is we get these beliefs anchored into us at a young age and very, very few of
00:07:00.200 us ever stop and ask ourselves if the beliefs are actually true.
00:07:06.540 We've barely ever do that.
00:07:08.620 Most people never do that.
00:07:10.800 And I want to give you this key because really that's what this is.
00:07:13.920 This is not only just to bring you aware of the situation, but also how you can use it
00:07:20.140 to improve from where you are to where you want to go.
00:07:23.060 And that's what I'm going to get to next.
00:07:24.380 So people, they either get indoctrinated in them or they get to be 20, 21, 22, and they
00:07:34.300 find a tribe or they find a group or they find something that they can be a part of that
00:07:40.980 is contingent upon believing certain things.
00:07:43.640 And because they plant this flag at such an early age, what happens is over the next 80 years of
00:07:51.940 their life, they spend their entire lives so cemented in these beliefs that it actually makes them
00:08:01.200 unhappy because they have to defend these beliefs, especially when they actually aren't true.
00:08:07.560 So I want you to follow along with what I'm trying to describe here.
00:08:11.580 You're young.
00:08:12.640 You don't know shit.
00:08:13.900 Somebody puts ideas in your head.
00:08:15.940 Okay.
00:08:16.480 And then you just, you decide this is who I am.
00:08:19.160 And then for the next 30 years, you want to say, yes, this is who I am.
00:08:23.920 This is who I am.
00:08:24.700 This is what I stand for.
00:08:26.040 This is what I believe.
00:08:27.220 And it doesn't matter how much truth or how much evidence or how much logic is shown to
00:08:34.360 you regarding the issues that you identify as your identity.
00:08:39.520 It doesn't matter.
00:08:41.420 You will stick with that.
00:08:42.580 So what I want you guys to become aware of is I want you to realize that you cannot evolve if you continue to identify with who you were when you were 21 years old or 14 years old or 25 or 18 when you're 30 and you're 35.
00:09:01.740 You do not want to be the same person who is saying the same shit when you're 35 as you did when you were 19.
00:09:10.240 That means you haven't grown.
00:09:12.620 That means you haven't learned because I'm going to tell you something.
00:09:15.440 No matter how smart you are, there is a lot of shit you don't know.
00:09:21.400 And especially when you're 19, 20, 21.
00:09:24.280 You just don't realize it.
00:09:26.220 And this is why most people have a problem evolving because they've attached themselves to an identity that was given to them by a group of people that validated their own self-worth and made them feel a part of whatever it was that they are a part of.
00:09:42.380 And then people go on and argue this their entire lives.
00:09:49.280 So if you don't want to be one of these people who stays exactly where they are and who constantly feels attacked and who constantly feels frustrated and who constantly feels angry and who constantly feels like everybody's attacking them,
00:10:05.960 you might want to take inventory of what it is you believe you stand for and start to ask yourself if those things are actually true.
00:10:15.200 And let me tell you a little secret.
00:10:17.540 It's okay if they're not true.
00:10:19.680 It's okay to change your mind.
00:10:21.920 It's okay to start to redefine who you are and what you believe.
00:10:26.840 Because in your heart, that frustration you feel, that anger you feel, that anxiety you feel about who you are,
00:10:35.860 that comes from your ability to not let go of who you used to be and what you used to think.
00:10:43.980 And when you can let go of who you used to be and what you used to think, now you live in a much lighter, a much happier, and a much easier existence.
00:10:56.460 Because now you're not stuck defending principles and faulty logic that you bought into 10 or 20 or 30 years ago.
00:11:04.800 And now you're able to actually evaluate the information that is presented and decide what makes logical sense.
00:11:15.180 Okay?
00:11:16.080 This is the key to moving forward in life.
00:11:18.980 This is the key to getting better.
00:11:21.100 This is the key to better relationships, better careers, better fitness.
00:11:25.600 You have to stop and let go of what you think you know and start to listen.
00:11:32.540 And you need to listen to other people than the people who just validate your own beliefs.
00:11:38.340 This is another problem people have.
00:11:41.500 People don't go out and search for the real information.
00:11:45.860 They go out and they search for information to validate what they believe.
00:11:51.440 This is faulty logic.
00:11:53.120 This is the reason a lot of people spin their wheels their entire lives.
00:11:57.420 You have to be able to evaluate whether or not the information is true, not whether or not the information supports your opinion.
00:12:07.100 And you have to delineate between those two sources and that takes awareness.
00:12:11.520 So what I'm trying to do here, guys, is I'm trying to let you think about why you believe what you believe, who taught it to you, do you believe it's actually true, or are you just hanging on to something that you used to believe 10 years ago?
00:12:29.940 And I also want this to be something that gives you permission to change your mind.
00:12:35.820 It is okay to evolve.
00:12:38.020 It is okay to reevaluate.
00:12:40.240 It is okay to change your mind.
00:12:42.400 That doesn't mean you didn't know or you did something wrong.
00:12:46.640 What it means is you're evolving as a mature person who can now evaluate and seek truth.
00:12:52.740 And when you seek truth with no ego attached to it, you're able to move freely through life without the anxiety, without the fear, without the frustration, and without the pressure of having to defend yourself every time your opinion comes out of your mouth.
00:13:10.660 Okay?
00:13:11.080 You want to be happier?
00:13:12.300 You want to be more free?
00:13:13.760 You want to be lighter?
00:13:15.200 You want to be all these things that all the spiritual gurus out there are trying to push you to be?
00:13:20.420 It's very simple.
00:13:21.440 Let go of what you think you know.
00:13:24.840 Stop seeking information to validate your opinion and start seeking the actual truth.
00:13:30.660 If you do those things, you will not need $997 courses.
00:13:36.480 You will not need therapy.
00:13:38.800 You will not need meditation 15 times a day on live.
00:13:43.320 You just won't need this shit, guys, because it'll make sense.
00:13:46.960 Okay?
00:13:47.260 Now, you might need therapy.
00:13:48.920 I might have been speaking out of my ass there.
00:13:50.340 You might be fucked up.
00:13:51.320 I've been to therapy lots of times.
00:13:53.280 It really didn't do much for me, but I realize that it's a big deal for a lot of other people, so I didn't mean to misspeak there.
00:14:00.920 Sometimes I just get going and things come out of my mouth.
00:14:03.640 But you know what?
00:14:04.620 That's just the case right there because I'm able to catch me on my own bullshit.
00:14:08.740 You see what I'm saying?
00:14:09.840 I don't have a problem with that.
00:14:11.220 I'm okay being wrong.
00:14:12.220 In fact, I like to be wrong, and the reason I like to be wrong is because when I'm wrong, I remember why I was wrong, and I start to look for why I was wrong, and then I'm able to make accurate decisions about the way the world is.
00:14:24.800 See, guys, this show is called Real as Fuck.
00:14:29.120 It's for realists.
00:14:30.360 I say it in the intro.
00:14:31.860 It is not for idealists.
00:14:33.360 It is not for people who wish things were a certain way.
00:14:37.900 It's for people who understand the way things are and then react to that situation.
00:14:43.940 This is a huge, huge dividing factor amongst society right now.
00:14:50.580 We have a huge group of people who want to deal with things in the way they should be, and then we have the people over here that want to deal with things the way they are.
00:15:04.360 Now, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out.
00:15:08.140 If you deal with what is, you're generally going to make better decisions that are going to produce a better result, and if you deal with the way you wish it was, you're going to make decisions based around the perspective that isn't true.
00:15:21.660 So it's very important that you start to observe the way things really are and not just say, well, you know, it's not that way because so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so from 20 years ago told me this, or my hero told me this.
00:15:38.140 Or a person I admire said this, it doesn't matter.
00:15:41.980 The truth is the truth, the facts are the facts, and your decisions should be made around those two things, the truth and the facts.
00:15:50.440 They should not be made around your ego or around the way you wish things were unless you're willing to deal with the way things are and make decisions that will then change your situation into the way you wish that things were, all right?
00:16:09.640 So, guys, stop feeling confined by your own ego.
00:16:14.620 Stop letting your pride and your hubris get in the way of your happiness.
00:16:20.100 Stop letting your ability and your want and your desire to prove how smart you are keep you from actually becoming smart because that's most people right now, and that's most people all the time.
00:16:34.300 And I can see what's going on now as an opportunity for you to maybe let go of some of the previous beliefs you had about politics, some of the previous beliefs you had about people, some of the previous beliefs you had about the world,
00:16:51.320 and start to adapt a truth so that you can make better decisions for yourself and for your family, all right?
00:16:59.880 Ego stops growth, and if you don't get control of it, you will not develop.
00:17:05.820 You will fight your whole life for causes that will not reward you for that fight.
00:17:11.680 The truth is the truth, the facts are the facts, and you need to make decisions according to those things.
00:17:17.860 If you want to be effective, if you want to be happy, if you want to live a fulfilling life, you must do it by removing your desire to be right and start pursuing what's right.
00:17:34.680 So, guys, that's the point.
00:17:36.480 That's all I want you to realize.
00:17:38.080 I want you to take some time.
00:17:39.980 I want you to evaluate what you think is your truth.
00:17:44.000 I want you to evaluate the mountain that you've planted your flag on oh so many years ago, and I want you to ask yourself, is this the right mountain for me?
00:17:54.700 Is this bringing fulfillment to my life?
00:17:57.660 Is this making me happy?
00:17:59.940 Is this allowing me to progress through life happy, productive, fulfilled, financially secure?
00:18:07.960 And if it isn't, it's okay to pick that flag up and move it to another mountain, okay?
00:18:14.400 Now, guys, if you like the show, please do me a favor.
00:18:17.580 Share the show.
00:18:18.700 Talk about the show.
00:18:20.000 If your friends are, you know, Zooming on, because we don't get together on Friday nights right now, we Zoom.
00:18:26.220 If you're doing a Zoom and chill, you know, bring the show up, man, and just say, hey, this is a good thing for you guys to listen to.
00:18:32.780 All right?
00:18:33.300 I love you guys.
00:18:34.220 Again, thanks for all the support, and I'll talk to you next time.
00:18:37.880 Hey.