REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 09, 2022


230. Q&AF： Difference Between Ego & Arrogance, Giving Friends Honest Feedback & Misconception About Failure

Hosted by
Andy Frisella
Mentioned
Andy Frisilla
229. Andy & DJ CTI： Rumble's $100 Million Offer, Canada's Freedom Convoy Fuel & Department Of Health Ends Requirements 231. Andy & DJ CTI： Chris Cuomo Wants $60 Million From CNN, Comedian Heather McDonald Collapses & Biden's Free Crack Pipes

Episode Stats


Length

22 minutes

Words per minute

198.68

Word count

4,407

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

5

sentences flagged

Toxicity

138

sentences flagged

Hate speech

62

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of The Realist, we have our first guest on the show, Annie. She is a seasoned professional chef and has been in the business industry for a long time. She has been around the business game for a while now and has had a lot of experience in the food industry. She s been on the Food Network show "The Realist" and is a regular on Food Network's "Top Chef". In this episode, we talk about her journey in the industry, how she got into the business, and what it s like being a chef.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy frisella and this is the show for the realist say goodbye to the lies 0.99
00:00:21.380 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys 0.61
00:00:26.080 today we have q and af that's where you give the q's and i give the afs now how do they get the
00:00:33.700 q's in guys you can email your q's into ask andy at andy frisella.com yeah do that i like the q you
00:00:41.620 bring the q's and i bring the i like that hey you do i made that up a couple shows ago but i know
00:00:46.000 i'm just remember that it's fucking sticky though like yeah i know it's provocative it gets people 0.88
00:00:49.680 going you know why because i've been doing this for a minute yeah hey comes with it that's what i'm 0.95
00:00:54.800 saying all right what we got today bro wait hold on hold on i forgot oh yeah see yeah even though
00:01:05.360 i'm a seasoned professional i did forget that we do have a fee see and the fee is very simple
00:01:12.560 if you like the show if it made you think if it taught you something if it gave you a new perspective
00:01:16.900 if it made you mad share the show especially if it makes you mad yeah you chose the word seasoned
00:01:25.500 is that like a like like why that word because you know you're always saying that white people are 0.96
00:01:30.860 are no seasoning so i'm saying i'm seasoned bro you're so racist come on man you you took it there i 0.97
00:01:39.640 didn't even oh come on dude you were gonna already go there true or not true it's true all right
00:01:46.480 oh i got some good ones for you though man okay yeah we got some good ones for you man good uh let's
00:01:54.260 let's let's lock these out andy question number one i'm still thinking about the seasoning like if i
00:01:59.900 was seasoned what kind of seasoning would i be i'll smoke paprika for sure oh really
00:02:03.720 that limit are you lemon pepper would it be a sprinkle or a rub oh you're a rub baby all right
00:02:12.480 100 go sprinkle you yeah don't forget that just saying smoke paprika bad hey bro i watched your 0.80
00:02:21.400 chef show last night yeah you fucking need to do a show in it bro there needs to be a dj chef youtube 0.99
00:02:27.640 channel i'm just telling you where like a video a week of you cooking some shit yeah that shit is 0.99
00:02:34.400 entertaining man i appreciate it man yeah i just like fucking eating like that honestly that's it 0.99
00:02:38.340 bro that shit will make anybody want to eat where'd you learn how to cook listen i learned how to 0.99
00:02:43.200 fucking eat first like that's all it is i just like fucking eating good fucking food man well i'm saying 1.00
00:02:49.260 we need to launch the the chef reggie show hey man all right i see it back to the reason we're here 1.00
00:02:57.280 yeah questions man for ruin tyranny forever i mean never mind answer questions that's the other
00:03:02.240 show yeah that is the other show that's the other show all right weird how we have like all these
00:03:08.780 different shows on one channel hey man it's a different news hour that's all that's it that's
00:03:12.140 it yeah that's it i kind of like it right now it's like soap opera you know what's fun dude is i get to 0.91
00:03:16.620 come in here every day and talk about different shit yeah like it's like today we're going to talk 0.76
00:03:20.500 about like you know probably how to get better yeah how to win how to make more money how to be more 0.98
00:03:24.500 fulfilled i'm just guessing that's what we're going to talk about and then you know tomorrow 0.98
00:03:30.100 or the next day we're going to get to verbally rape every fucking politician out there it's 1.00
00:03:35.280 fucking great what billy say punch these uh politicians in the face peacefully with my words 0.99
00:03:40.920 politically yeah politically all right any question number one for you can you you've experienced you've 0.99
00:03:53.420 seen both of these things over the course of your your business life because i'm seasoned because
00:03:57.900 you're seasoned smoke paprika but annie can you go into detail and talk to us about the difference
00:04:03.200 between having an ego and being arrogant and what you have seen over you know 24 years of business yeah
00:04:10.060 dude look man first of all every single person has a different opinion or different definition of 0.97
00:04:16.880 those terms right like the minute you get hot on yourself and you say hey i'm doing good shit or 0.91
00:04:22.960 whatever everybody wants to come at you and say oh your ego is getting the best of you remember where 1.00
00:04:27.480 you came from well you're too good listen every single person that says that shit to you is losing 1.00
00:04:33.760 pay attention to that okay they're losing all right the the number one fucking loser comment that i 1.00
00:04:40.320 can recognize as someone's an actual loser is when they say remember where you came from 0.99
00:04:44.840 no bro i'm trying to get away as far as i fucking can from that yeah like that's what people don't 0.99
00:04:50.820 understand that's the point driven people are not worried about where the fuck they came from 0.99
00:04:55.560 they look where they came from they remind where they came from they realize they're no better than 0.96
00:05:00.660 they were then and they appreciate that yeah okay but like nobody's better like when you try to connect
00:05:08.840 that future version of yourself back to where you came from uh a lot of times there's really no
00:05:15.300 connection you know yeah so you're gonna have i just want you guys to understand anytime you set
00:05:21.120 out to do something that's relevant or great or outside the norm you're gonna have people attack you
00:05:25.820 and say you're egotistical and you're arrogant um first of all let me remind you of something 0.50
00:05:32.300 there's not a champion out there i don't care how nice they seem tom brady okay that doesn't have a 0.98
00:05:40.160 fucking healthy strong ego yeah all right because a healthy strong ego is what you need when you're in 1.00
00:05:47.320 doubt of yourself that's whenever you got to come in you gotta say no motherfucker you're the baddest 1.00
00:05:52.000 motherfucker on the fucking planet and you can't operate at the highest levels without that sort of 1.00
00:05:58.220 an ego so a healthy ego and healthy belief in yourself and healthy respect for your own abilities 1.00
00:06:03.940 is absolutely necessary to get to that level that you're trying to get to yeah okay and regular people
00:06:11.420 who do the regular life thing i'm not knocking them they'll never understand that because humility
00:06:16.100 is overvalued in society everybody wants to be humble everybody wants to be meek well no actually i
00:06:22.460 take that back everybody wants to tell everybody to be humble and everybody wants to tell everybody 0.98
00:06:27.780 to be meek but on the internal most people want to be a bad motherfucker it's just the truth yeah 0.97
00:06:32.660 right and there's nothing wrong with being someone who believes in their own abilities when you 0.98
00:06:38.500 actually have skills now the difference between arrogance and ego is whenever you overestimate those
00:06:44.860 skills and you think you're actually better than what you really are okay you follow what i'm saying
00:06:49.420 so that's arrogance when you start to think you're the best and you're this and you're that and you're 1.00
00:06:54.320 this and nobody can fuck with you and really you're just a rookie motherfucker that's arrogant 1.00
00:06:58.140 you will get smashed for that when you know your skill set and you're comfortable with who you are 1.00
00:07:03.760 and you believe in yourself and you know that nobody can fuck with you because of your skills and your 1.00
00:07:09.140 experience and things you've already been through that's ego that's reminding you hey motherfucker 1.00
00:07:14.720 you're bad as shit you've done all these things you can handle this shit coming down the pipe 1.00
00:07:18.480 and it's an absolutely necessary part of someone's character who's going to win yeah all right so 1.00
00:07:23.700 that's how you have to look at it now when it comes to humility humility is overrated all right 0.61
00:07:29.580 now what i mean by that is everybody wants to fucking push you to be more humble that's the 1.00
00:07:35.560 fucking narrative in society oh you better calm down like dude you know how many motherfuckers told 0.99
00:07:39.780 me that all of them you know where they are same place they were when they told me that 1.00
00:07:44.460 all right so humility's value in the pursuit of success is way overstated where where the humility
00:07:52.840 really comes into play is that you have to understand that you are no better than any other 0.99
00:07:58.440 human just because you're more successful you have to understand there's a whole lot of shit that you 0.94
00:08:02.780 don't know okay and you have to understand that you can still get better no matter how good you are 0.98
00:08:08.520 that's humility in the success realm that's how it serves you so when you over humble yourself okay
00:08:16.860 and you don't talk about you know you won't toot your own horn because bro nobody's gonna toot your 0.96
00:08:21.160 fucking horn so you're tooting it yeah you gotta be the first to toot it that's just reality all right 0.97
00:08:25.500 it will leave you under recognized underpaid undervalued and fucking frustrated that's the truth 0.99
00:08:33.760 but you have to have a certain element of humility because if you don't you lose the ability to learn 0.95
00:08:39.320 and if you lose the ability to learn because you think you fucking know everything already then what 0.89
00:08:44.240 you get beat by someone who is humble enough to continue to learn and get better and improve no matter 0.95
00:08:48.560 how good they are or how big they're winning so you have to have a healthy balance of ego and humility
00:08:54.460 to actually be what it is most of you are trying to be but working into a healthy ego is earned 0.90
00:09:02.540 okay you have to earn that in the beginning when you haven't fucking done anything you should be 0.91
00:09:08.220 extremely humble you should be an open book in terms of what you're willing to learn um you don't 0.81
00:09:14.020 have any skills yet so all you have is humility and where you should what you should understand at
00:09:20.080 that point in time is that you are capable of developing skills just like anybody else would be
00:09:25.840 you follow what i'm saying right so a healthy ego is developed through through the process 0.99
00:09:30.980 it's not a bad thing like anybody who says oh the fucking guy's got a big ego you're fucking right 0.97
00:09:36.540 i do brother you're fucking right and it's earned that's right yeah that's fucking awesome so like 0.98
00:09:42.260 it you know people it is what it is man i don't really give a fuck what people think about it 0.91
00:09:49.720 that's real yeah that's real that's awesome andy question number two uh so i'm gonna read the
00:09:55.180 read the question that got a little bit of backstory for you so the question is andy what's the best way
00:09:59.480 to deliver honest feedback to a close friend so the the backstory is a uh a buddy of mine started a
00:10:06.220 new t-shirt business and honestly the shirts are terrible the quality the graphics and the problem is
00:10:12.740 he only wants to hear the good feedback so what's the best way to deliver honest feedback to a close
00:10:17.680 friend or to anybody for that matter uh show them show them show them what the alternative looks 0.97
00:10:23.780 like right that that guy's shirt sucks and his logo sucks bring in a shirt that feels right bring 0.98
00:10:30.380 in a shirt that looks right bring in a logo that looks right and say hey dude look i think we i think 0.99
00:10:35.060 we could do better with this all right this is where i think you need to go the the nobody likes to be
00:10:40.980 told they're fucking wrong but if you do it the right way and present a solution with it people who 0.92
00:10:47.520 are somewhat intelligent will realize okay let me backtrack this if you are not able and this goes 0.94
00:10:56.620 into the first question if you are not humble enough to recognize when your answer is wrong
00:11:01.260 you're not going to be very successful that's another part of humility okay so some people 0.97
00:11:07.140 cannot listen to fucking they have to be right there's people like that and and there's a lot of 0.99
00:11:13.640 them right now there is there is and that will keep you from winning that's another area where 0.99
00:11:18.460 humility comes in all right so how i would address that is sort of how you and i were talking keith
00:11:25.380 yesterday about videos so i i text video a video format to keith yesterday i said hey what do you
00:11:30.240 think about this and he's like he's like well we could do this i said no dude i asked you what do
00:11:35.940 you think about this and he comes back he's like well i don't really like it i think we could do this
00:11:40.220 and we came up with a better solution than what i had suggested yeah you see what i'm saying and
00:11:45.320 that's where you want to be as a leader dude you want to be able to accept feedback you have to 0.99
00:11:50.200 understand there's people on your team that are smarter than you and all kinds of shit so you have 0.99
00:11:54.720 to listen to what the fuck they say that's why you hired them yeah and if you're arrogant yeah going 1.00
00:11:59.500 back to the you won't yeah if you have a healthy bro i know i'm good but the reason i know i'm good 1.00
00:12:03.700 is because i'm smart enough to listen motherfuckers that know better all right so that all ties 1.00
00:12:09.140 you feel what i'm saying all ties together connected yeah so um you have to be willing to 0.96
00:12:16.340 to approach it the correct way and sometimes when people are new in business like like it sounds like
00:12:22.200 this guy's pretty new they're very defensive personally about their projects right because
00:12:26.500 this is like a new thing and everybody's telling them it's a bad idea and everybody's telling them
00:12:31.860 that it's not going to work and there's so much resistance that you face when you start a new
00:12:35.560 project just from starting a new project that people people get their defenses up right naturally
00:12:41.900 yeah right so if this dude is really your friend and you really want to help him i would suggest at
00:12:46.100 this point in time um coming to him with better solutions and the problem at the same time does
00:12:53.780 that make sense yeah so like give him the problem yes for sure yeah because that doesn't really solve 0.52
00:12:58.900 anything like that's just an attack yeah so if you want to fucking really help this person 0.88
00:13:03.320 get an example of what you think is good you know say hey i want to talk to you about some stuff i've 0.86
00:13:10.320 been looking at this and this and this make the meeting about him moving the company in the right 1.00
00:13:15.480 direction that you think it should go instead of saying you fucking suck like dude everybody sucks in 1.00
00:13:22.200 the beginning right everybody makes stupid looking t-shirts in the beginning everybody's t-shirt quality 1.00
00:13:27.020 sucks in the beginning that's just how t-shirt companies start yeah i know because i fucking 0.99
00:13:31.680 have one all right right if you go compare what i was doing 10 years ago to what we're doing now 1.00
00:13:36.180 i would fire a motherfucker for making the shit that i approved 10 years ago no shit you see what i'm 0.99
00:13:40.680 saying so like dude that's a progression so just have some tact have some understanding that when things 1.00
00:13:47.080 are new people are usually not supporting it and be the person who supports it by going at them
00:13:52.960 with not just complaints but also a direction to fix it because the real frustration comes from
00:13:59.780 people just piling on negativity right right like you start to feel alone you start to feel like
00:14:04.820 everybody's against you actually my anti-gram was just about this today not everybody's against you
00:14:09.280 bro they just don't know how to support you right and that's what you have to remember so be a good
00:14:13.700 friend and this goes for everybody not just this person asking the question when you have someone in
00:14:18.120 your family or your friend is starting something new don't be one of these people that tells them 0.95
00:14:22.260 you know that all the bad shit with no solution right you're not helping you're creating stress 0.98
00:14:27.940 you're creating anxiety you're creating resentment the best way to do it is to go to them and say hey 0.98
00:14:32.500 i like this i appreciate what you're trying to do i think i think you know let's look at this and
00:14:37.320 this and this right right even if you're not in the company you're just a friend dude my friends have
00:14:41.780 done that for me over the years where they know like let's say they were using a different 0.91
00:14:45.620 product or something that i wasn't aware of they bring it to me they say this is fucking amazing 0.81
00:14:49.820 you should look you should look at that i've looked at it and then we've done it better and
00:14:53.160 it's made us tens of millions of dollars right and no and i love those guys now because like now
00:14:58.860 they helped me get on to something that worked you see what i'm saying yeah yeah when they could
00:15:03.200 have just brought you the problem for sure which that's what most people do bro that's what most 0.98
00:15:06.960 people do that's why i don't fuck with anybody like dude you know i don't fuck with anybody yeah 0.99
00:15:12.040 and the reason i don't is because most people are not aware enough to do what i just said 0.96
00:15:15.560 they're always just piling on bullshit it's fire andy our third and final question for you 0.79
00:15:21.540 andy what would you say is the biggest misconception that people have about failure 0.89
00:15:27.800 that they can avoid it like they think they think most people think that well there's two one that
00:15:37.180 they can avoid it and then the second one when it happens that it's the end of the world
00:15:40.140 all right those two those two misunderstandings cost most people their dreams all right first of
00:15:48.000 all if you never fail it means you've never tried anything different or outside the norm you never
00:15:52.400 even really tried if you haven't failed look at a kid who walks how many times did ryan fall down
00:15:57.140 when she's learned how to walk fuck she's still falling now okay but does she ever look up at you 1.00
00:16:00.980 and said dad uh i think this isn't for me right right no she fucking picked herself up she fucking did 1.00
00:16:06.960 two steps instead of fucking one step and then eventually it's three and then eventually it's 0.98
00:16:11.320 four and then eventually it's 400 right but then eventually you don't even notice you're doing it 0.98
00:16:15.160 because it's so natural it's the same thing with what we're talking about here okay you have to go
00:16:20.820 through the fails you have to go through the test because every single failure that you have 0.98
00:16:25.440 every single setback that you have is another lesson that you put into your fucking skilled tool belt 0.94
00:16:31.740 okay because that situation whatever it is to fail will reappear down the road that's the thing you 0.97
00:16:38.960 have to understand so whatever fucks you up today once you push through it and you recognize not to 0.72
00:16:44.420 make that same mistake again now when it reappears five years from now you know exactly how to handle
00:16:49.860 it whereas the people competing with you who are less experienced at that time down the road they get
00:16:56.620 fucked by that same situation where you are skilled enough savvy enough and experienced enough
00:17:01.560 to deal with it so a lot of it has to do with how you view failure through the perspective every 0.99
00:17:08.200 time we fuck up and bro we fuck up a lot every single time i make sure my biggest thing is okay what'd 0.95
00:17:14.420 you learn right what'd you learn you know this like dude you see me do it what'd you learn and if they 0.82
00:17:20.480 learn the thing it's okay don't do that again and that's what you and that goes for employees too
00:17:26.120 a lot of people uh are not savvy enough leaders to understand that most employees on your team
00:17:32.660 they want to win with you okay so when they fuck up a lot of times ceos or bosses or managers will fire 0.98
00:17:39.080 these people and replace them with someone who still don't know and then they do the same shit over 0.98
00:17:44.800 again and then it happens a third time and a fourth time because they keep kicking people out instead of 0.96
00:17:49.660 looking at these failures and mistakes as an investment in their education right you see what 0.99
00:17:54.180 i'm saying so you have to understand that it's part of the process it's just part of the fucking 0.99
00:18:00.460 success recipe getting your balls kicked in is part of the deal it just is and the longer you go 0.98
00:18:06.520 overcoming them and realizing that point number two it's not a fatal thing it's just a temporary thing 0.96
00:18:12.720 now you're able to see it through the proper lens and the proper lens tells you okay i touched that 0.91
00:18:18.620 stove today and it burnt my fucking finger guess what tomorrow i'm not gonna touch it okay so now 0.99
00:18:23.760 you're better than you were yesterday you're smarter than you were yesterday and this is how this is how 0.99
00:18:28.760 failure should be addressed and how it is addressed amongst people who are hiring successful people
00:18:34.560 whether they're entrepreneurs or inside of a company or whatever they understand and this is
00:18:40.540 something i say all the time i say this from the stage i say this here i said it for years and years 0.85
00:18:44.260 years there's only really two things you have to have to win one don't fucking quit and two don't 0.95
00:18:51.200 make the same mistakes twice if you can if you have the capacity to do those two things there is 0.75
00:18:57.420 literally fucking nothing that can stop you but time okay like you could run out of time that's right 0.93
00:19:03.740 but outside of that bro keep it moving try not to repeat the same mistake twice and if you do 0.98
00:19:11.140 don't do it a third time and that's really the key to success it truly truly is it's just most people 0.98
00:19:17.380 get hung up on that first or second or third failure and they look at it and say fuck i'm 0.99
00:19:21.360 really bad at this no bro everybody's bad at it it's just the motherfuckers on the internet lie to 0.99
00:19:26.380 you about it make it look easy yeah so we all go through it and it's not it's just if i could make 0.96
00:19:33.700 someone understand something about the process it would be to understand that that is just a normal 0.67
00:19:40.340 part of the fucking entrepreneur win big win at anything process you are going to have to get 0.92
00:19:45.600 real comfortable with making mistakes real comfortable with uh things not going your way 0.96
00:19:50.360 and learning lessons dude it's it's it's so simple to me standing on the other side right like
00:19:55.860 like you know a lot of people listening right now you're just at the first step of this mountain 0.98
00:20:00.580 you're trying to climb where i'm up i've already climbed the motherfucker and i'm climbing the next 0.94
00:20:04.640 one over it right so like i'm standing on the other side at the bottom of your mountain and you're 0.96
00:20:09.880 standing on the other on one side of the bottom of the mountain looking up at it i've already climbed 0.97
00:20:13.540 it's easy for me to fucking say step here step here do this it's so fucking simple for me to 0.94
00:20:19.760 understand i wish people i wish i could take what's in my brain as understanding this concept and like 0.96
00:20:26.200 just implant it into people because if you if i could you would not fear failing at all at all
00:20:31.920 and a lot of people are like you know you asked me this didn't you like what the other day we're
00:20:36.420 doing cardio you asked me we're in the process of growth what are you afraid of yeah he yeah you he 0.82
00:20:41.320 asked me like just as a friend the other day he's like bro does any of this shit ever scare you i'm 0.98
00:20:44.960 like no what i tell you remember i told you i said i said bro i don't know what the fuck i'm doing 0.97
00:20:50.720 anyway right oh yeah yeah i i've gotten this far i don't know what the fuck i'm doing so if i don't 0.95
00:20:56.320 know what the fuck i'm doing on day one and i continue to move and i don't know what i'm doing 0.85
00:21:00.500 on day on year 10 and i don't know what i'm doing on year 20 what do i have to be afraid of right 0.90
00:21:05.800 right you see what i'm saying and that's the attitude you should have hey i don't i never did
00:21:10.560 this before i don't know everything i think i know what's best and then move forward with that
00:21:14.800 you know that's it dude that's all you can do you know like a lot of people come to me and
00:21:19.920 they're like oh bro you're doing this and this and this and this and and and you've never done
00:21:26.240 that before and i'm like no i haven't well how do you know you're gonna get it done well the same 0.92
00:21:31.760 way i got all the rest of the shit done right right like i'm gonna fucking not quit i'm gonna learn my 0.97
00:21:36.100 lessons and and as long as that takes for the job to get done it's gonna get done it's that simple 0.97
00:21:41.680 dude it really truly is that simple that's fucking fire guys andy that's three so go pay the fee 0.99
00:21:49.040 yeah do that went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove 1.00
00:21:57.000 counted millions in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know 1.00
00:22:03.680 headshot case close 1.00
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