REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 13, 2022


234. Q&AF： Recognizing Your Bitch Voice, First Impressions Are Overrated & Signs Of Complacency


Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

171.57579

Word count

2,897

Sentence count

292

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

17

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of The Realest, DJ and Andy discuss the importance of TOUGHENING THE F.U.I.A. and how to distinguish between the bitch voice and the boss voice in your head, and when it's time to take a break.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest, take a bite of
00:00:20.880 the lies, the figness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.
00:00:25.340 Guys, today we have Q and AF, this is where you bring the Q's and I bring the AF's and as
00:00:32.740 always, I'm joined by my co-host DJ.
00:00:37.220 Yeah.
00:00:38.080 Yeah.
00:00:38.500 Dr. Diversity.
00:00:39.620 Dr. Diversity.
00:00:43.180 Oh, that was a good one, but I fuck off.
00:00:46.060 All right.
00:00:46.320 Dr. Diversity.
00:00:48.380 Is that, where does that fit in the hierarchy of nicknames?
00:00:52.140 You know, I think it's just getting started, so we'll just see how it goes.
00:00:55.340 So it's below White Lightning?
00:00:56.700 Oh, 100%.
00:00:57.400 Bro, White Lightning is like, that's going to be fucking on my fucking tombstone.
00:01:01.520 Oh, really?
00:01:02.120 You know what I'm saying?
00:01:02.860 Like.
00:01:03.100 Is it?
00:01:03.840 White Lightning had a great life, you know?
00:01:05.880 Like, yeah, that's going to be, what's that?
00:01:08.880 What do you think, Madot?
00:01:12.400 I think we should start the show over.
00:01:13.900 Yeah, let's start the show over.
00:01:14.780 Yeah.
00:01:15.600 Fuck you guys.
00:01:17.260 All right, let's get on with the show.
00:01:18.940 So I got three questions for you, brother.
00:01:20.340 Okay, we got three questions, and I'm going to answer those questions, and then if you
00:01:26.680 are satisfied with the answers to these questions, or you thought they were good, or it taught
00:01:30.660 you some things, you're going to share the show.
00:01:33.060 Yeah.
00:01:33.140 That's how this works.
00:01:34.320 All right?
00:01:35.060 So what do we got?
00:01:36.660 We got three good ones for you guys, and always, guys, you can email these questions in
00:01:40.320 to askandy at andyfricella.com.
00:01:42.100 And with that being said, question, Andy, you talk about the bitch voice and the boss 1.00
00:01:48.300 voice a lot, right?
00:01:50.960 How do you tell the difference between your bitch voice and your boss voice, and when 1.00
00:01:56.120 you actually need a break or actually need rest?
00:01:58.660 Like, how do you differentiate that?
00:02:02.440 Most of the time, the vast majority of the time, it's your bitch voice. 1.00
00:02:07.600 Most humans are so conditioned to be fucking weak and soft and rest and take a break that
00:02:16.480 they've been doing that their whole entire fucking lives, okay?
00:02:19.720 So first of all, very rarely do people run into this actual problem.
00:02:25.000 More frequently, when you work reasonably hard, you are going to have a response that says
00:02:33.680 this is hard, and you're going to have to understand that it's supposed to be hard.
00:02:37.600 I am of the opinion that people cut themselves way too much slack and lean way too hard on
00:02:47.400 taking it easy, give yourself a break, you don't have to go that hard, which is why their
00:02:53.840 life fucking sucks, because you listen to everybody else whose lives fucking suck, okay? 0.96
00:03:00.540 So how do you know the difference?
00:03:03.020 It's very simple.
00:03:04.040 When you hear a voice in your head that deters you from doing what it is you know you're supposed
00:03:10.740 to do, that's your bitch voice. 1.00
00:03:14.220 When you've done what you're supposed to do, then it's time for a rest.
00:03:18.840 This is very simple, okay?
00:03:21.420 People think they're working hard when they're not working hard.
00:03:24.480 People think they're exerting themselves when they're not exerting themselves.
00:03:27.460 People think they're at their fucking limits before they're even in the realm of their
00:03:33.180 actual fucking limits. 0.78
00:03:34.820 This is a pandemic.
00:03:37.540 This is a cultural disease, all right? 0.72
00:03:40.780 So worry less about when you need your actual rest and worry more if you've actually earned
00:03:47.160 that rest.
00:03:47.720 That's my fucking answer.
00:03:50.540 Yeah.
00:03:51.040 So I wouldn't concern yourself with, do you need an actual rest?
00:03:57.140 You likely need to toughen the fuck up, which is the whole point of the program.
00:04:05.940 Yeah.
00:04:07.000 Yeah, I love it.
00:04:07.880 I can't stand, honestly, when people get, when I get that question, if I'm being completely
00:04:14.380 honest.
00:04:15.060 Most of you motherfuckers are weak as fuck, okay? 1.00
00:04:17.760 Most people are weak as fuck.
00:04:19.860 I got asked, I got asked recently, you know, if a gallon of water was unreasonable or if you
00:04:25.360 could get sick from it or whatever.
00:04:26.560 No.
00:04:27.900 Like, bro, we're fucking pussies.
00:04:29.820 Yeah.
00:04:30.460 Okay?
00:04:31.360 And I don't care if you like that word or not like that word or whatever, dude.
00:04:35.100 I don't care.
00:04:36.780 That's to my point.
00:04:38.460 Right?
00:04:39.960 Fuck, dude.
00:04:41.440 Toughen the fuck up.
00:04:43.320 Understand that anything worth achieving is going to be difficult.
00:04:47.120 Understand that anything that you're going to be proud of at the end of your fucking life
00:04:51.280 is going to come from you telling yourself to shut the fuck up and finish what you started. 0.64
00:04:58.300 And if you don't have that capacity, you're not going to be very successful.
00:05:02.340 Like, a lot of people that try to do 75 hard shouldn't even be doing it.
00:05:06.380 They should just go fucking accept their life.
00:05:09.540 Accept it.
00:05:10.480 Because they want to bend it.
00:05:11.660 They want to twist it.
00:05:12.700 They want to know when their next cheat meal is coming or when the rest is coming.
00:05:16.520 Bro, if you're fucking out here trying to, you know, wait for your next period of rest,
00:05:21.980 you don't have it.
00:05:24.160 Like, you don't have it in you.
00:05:25.820 You know what I'm saying?
00:05:26.780 Yeah.
00:05:26.940 Like, you're focused on the wrong shit.
00:05:28.280 You're already focused on the fucking thing.
00:05:29.400 Yeah.
00:05:29.680 Like, dude, why don't you focus on what you're going to gain?
00:05:33.500 Why don't you focus on what it is you're about to do with your life?
00:05:36.820 Why don't you focus on all the skills and qualities that you're going to build within yourself
00:05:41.520 that you've never fucking had so you don't realize how amazing your life will fucking 0.93
00:05:46.420 be once you have them?
00:05:48.100 Why don't you focus on that for once in your fucking life instead of worrying about when
00:05:51.840 the fucking rest is going to come?
00:05:53.400 I love it.
00:05:57.740 I fucking love it.
00:05:58.580 Andy, question number two.
00:06:00.340 How important are first impressions to you?
00:06:03.420 And what are some quote unquote networking tips that someone, that this person should
00:06:08.400 use when it comes to first impressions?
00:06:09.960 First impressions are overrated.
00:06:11.800 All right.
00:06:12.300 Everybody says, oh, your first impression is going to make or break you.
00:06:16.820 Yeah.
00:06:17.300 If you're dealing with someone who's a fucking moron.
00:06:19.780 Okay.
00:06:20.260 I can't tell you how many times I've met someone and the very first impression, I fucking hated
00:06:26.020 them only to figure out that they were exactly like me and that's why I fucking hated them. 0.95
00:06:31.860 And then we became very good friends.
00:06:34.140 Yeah.
00:06:34.580 Yeah.
00:06:35.100 Okay.
00:06:35.920 So if you're dealing with someone who's closed minded, who's, who is aloof, who's arrogant,
00:06:41.260 who thinks they're the shit.
00:06:43.680 Yeah.
00:06:43.920 First impressions might matter.
00:06:45.560 But at the end of the day, what's really going to speak is who you are over the consistent
00:06:50.880 long-term, what skills you build, what kind of life you're building, what your work ethics
00:06:55.520 like, how kind you are, how you treat other people.
00:06:58.340 And those things matter much more than trying to manufacture a fucking first impression.
00:07:03.180 So what I would concentrate on is becoming a person of character and values that stands
00:07:08.260 on that with a fucking solid ass backbone that's confident, that believes in themselves because 0.56
00:07:13.800 that shit is sensed. 0.59
00:07:15.680 You sense it.
00:07:17.080 There's no manufacturing required.
00:07:19.540 There's no routine to be practiced.
00:07:23.460 What you really should practice on is developing yourself into one of these people who literally
00:07:28.540 permeates confidence, who literally permeates the attractiveness of knowing that I want
00:07:37.060 to know that person because they don't seem to really need anything that I have.
00:07:40.900 The charisma.
00:07:41.620 Yeah.
00:07:41.780 Right.
00:07:42.040 And that's sensed.
00:07:43.540 And that comes from building it.
00:07:45.300 And it comes from really the qualities you gain in 75 hard, your confidence, your self-esteem,
00:07:52.620 your self-image, your belief in yourself, your discipline, your fortitude, your grit.
00:07:59.040 You know when you meet a motherfucker that has all those things, just like you know when
00:08:03.340 you meet a motherfucker that's killed people. 0.99
00:08:05.600 You just know.
00:08:07.580 Okay?
00:08:08.220 That fucking guy killed some people.
00:08:09.080 Yeah.
00:08:09.320 Yeah.
00:08:09.720 So let's stop trying to manufacture this fake fucking thing for people to have a perception
00:08:16.420 of us about, oh, first impressions, elevator speeches.
00:08:20.640 Yeah, bro.
00:08:21.920 Instead, become so fucking good, no one can fucking ignore you.
00:08:25.760 Then you don't have to worry about first impressions.
00:08:27.880 I don't give two fucks what someone thinks about me because I know when they dig in or
00:08:33.020 if they observe me for a good amount of time, they'll figure it the fuck out.
00:08:36.740 And if they aren't willing to invest that time to figure it out, I don't need them.
00:08:41.060 That's real.
00:08:42.320 Okay?
00:08:42.920 So you guys are too concerned with manufacturing this.
00:08:46.980 And this comes from social media.
00:08:48.340 It comes from getting all your likes and shares.
00:08:52.300 And, you know, a lot of you guys become slaves to the fucking program because you're just
00:08:56.600 dancing.
00:08:57.260 You're no different than a circus bear.
00:08:59.120 You're dancing for your fucking next little treat. 0.95
00:09:01.680 And the treat is your fucking likes and your shares instead of being who the fuck you are
00:09:06.540 or putting in the work to become undeniably great.
00:09:09.680 Right?
00:09:10.200 Like, dude, this is, it's perception versus reality.
00:09:14.160 And reality is always going to win.
00:09:16.180 So stop thinking about trying to manufacture a first impression and start thinking about
00:09:21.000 becoming someone who's so fucking good they don't even need an introduction. 0.92
00:09:24.720 How about that?
00:09:26.500 That's how I look at shit.
00:09:27.600 Yeah, that's real.
00:09:28.100 People introduce themselves to you.
00:09:29.180 Motherfucker, I don't introduce myself.
00:09:30.640 Everybody knows who the fuck I am when I walk in the room.
00:09:34.540 True or not true?
00:09:35.980 Very, very true.
00:09:36.620 Okay.
00:09:36.860 So it is what it fucking is.
00:09:39.380 Yeah.
00:09:39.780 Become great.
00:09:40.800 And you won't have to worry about it.
00:09:42.300 Solves all your problems.
00:09:45.060 Fucking love it.
00:09:47.120 Andy, our third and final question for you, man.
00:09:50.220 Andy, what are the signs of complacency and how do you handle it when you notice them?
00:09:57.260 Whoa, that's a good one, man.
00:09:59.540 Honestly, I think it comes down to noticing when you start to compromise.
00:10:04.140 Um, complacency comes from compromise and the compromise in the beginning is very small.
00:10:10.260 It's doing 40 minutes instead of 45 minutes on your outdoor workout, or it's, um, eating
00:10:18.500 three crackers that, you know, weren't on your program that you weren't supposed to.
00:10:23.580 Okay.
00:10:24.120 That's where complacency starts.
00:10:26.640 It starts at the first compromise, the compromise that you think nobody's going to notice.
00:10:32.280 Nobody's going to see only.
00:10:34.580 I'll know it's okay because I'm going to do extra 20 minutes tomorrow of cardio.
00:10:39.840 That's where complacency starts.
00:10:42.080 All right.
00:10:42.960 It's, it creeps.
00:10:44.440 It starts with one little compromise, which leads to a second compromise, which leads to
00:10:49.560 a third compromise, which eventually leads to nothing mattering at all.
00:10:53.400 Okay.
00:10:54.560 And once you end up in your, your, and this happens gradually, it's like the frog in the
00:11:00.440 boiling pot of water.
00:11:01.820 It's like the tyranny going on in our country right now.
00:11:05.040 All right.
00:11:05.840 The first little compromise that you give gives them more power.
00:11:09.480 The second one, more power.
00:11:11.700 A third one, more power.
00:11:13.760 And then to the point where you don't have any left.
00:11:15.980 This is the same thing with everything in life.
00:11:19.540 Okay.
00:11:20.020 So if you want to avoid complacency, stop compromising on the small shit.
00:11:26.360 Hold your standards, hold your line, get to a point where you understand that you're executing
00:11:31.860 against the things that you said you were going to execute against and do that.
00:11:37.620 It's very fucking simple, but you know, getting to a place of comfort or getting to a place
00:11:44.380 of complacency happens to everybody.
00:11:48.340 And that's why I talked to you guys about discipline being a perishable skill.
00:11:52.280 It's a skill.
00:11:53.780 It's something that you have to brush up on regularly throughout your life over and over
00:11:58.200 and over and over again.
00:11:59.520 That's why whenever people say, Oh, 75 hard is not sustainable.
00:12:02.880 No shit, brother.
00:12:04.280 They're not supposed to be.
00:12:06.160 You're supposed to be a tune-up for your fucking brain.
00:12:08.540 Just like you would go do a tune-up in the fucking gym.
00:12:11.800 You know what I'm saying?
00:12:12.600 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:14.280 So, fuck.
00:12:18.080 I don't know what to say other than that.
00:12:19.820 Yeah.
00:12:20.140 No, I love it.
00:12:21.580 I love it.
00:12:22.220 You love everything I say.
00:12:24.140 Good shit.
00:12:25.240 Yeah.
00:12:25.600 100%, right?
00:12:26.720 If it was, yeah, no shit.
00:12:28.580 Or so, I've been told.
00:12:29.440 He's trying hard not to say that.
00:12:31.020 So you can see it on his fucking face.
00:12:32.060 Oh, fuck that.
00:12:32.780 I'm 100% not trying.
00:12:34.580 Yeah, you are.
00:12:35.200 I support you, DJ.
00:12:37.040 Yeah.
00:12:37.660 Anyway, bro, like to me, this is, I don't know.
00:12:44.320 Well, you say you, like everybody has to, like everybody goes through that.
00:12:47.620 So like what, what do you personally do when you notice yourself getting out of that?
00:12:52.600 Like in that moment.
00:12:52.720 I tighten it back the fuck up.
00:12:54.180 Yeah.
00:12:54.840 I realize, I'm honest with myself.
00:12:56.680 I say, fuck, dude, you're slipping.
00:12:59.400 Yeah.
00:12:59.880 Like, dude, we're not able to have honest conversations with our own fucking self anymore.
00:13:03.900 We lie to ourselves.
00:13:04.940 We tell ourselves all the shit that we know isn't even true so that we can feel good in
00:13:09.180 the moment.
00:13:09.840 And instead of getting what done, what's done, it's going to make you feel good a month from
00:13:14.200 now or a week from now or a year from now.
00:13:16.640 You see what I'm saying?
00:13:17.740 Yeah.
00:13:18.100 So like, bro, you have to have a finger on the pulse of your own bullshit all the time.
00:13:23.700 All right.
00:13:24.200 You have to be able to identify and be honest with yourself.
00:13:27.120 When you cut a fucking corner, you have, you cannot continue to like, say, oh, it's
00:13:31.540 okay.
00:13:31.820 Cause it isn't okay.
00:13:33.000 It's been okay your whole fucking life.
00:13:35.260 And clearly you're dissatisfied where the fuck you are.
00:13:37.900 So stop saying it's okay.
00:13:39.260 Cause it isn't.
00:13:40.880 Does that make sense?
00:13:42.980 Like, fuck man.
00:13:44.920 Every, everybody gets to a point where they feel complacent.
00:13:48.100 Everybody gets to a point where they get comfortable.
00:13:50.320 It sneaks up on you.
00:13:51.680 It creeps up on you like a motherfucking ninja.
00:13:53.500 And I'm just telling you, it's your compromises that lead to that.
00:13:58.080 It's the little compromises you make when no one's looking that lead to complacency, which
00:14:02.100 lead to comfort, which lead to you losing all your shit, whatever it is that you have, 0.71
00:14:06.920 whether it be your physical health, your relationship, your fucking business, your job or whatever. 0.76
00:14:12.200 You know, and I don't understand how hard, it's not a hard concept to grasp.
00:14:18.880 Stop compromising on the little shit and the big shit will take care of itself.
00:14:23.040 You won't get to a point of complacency or you'll at least delay it.
00:14:27.120 But I mean, being aware enough to look at yourself and say, you know what?
00:14:31.360 I'm not giving what I could.
00:14:34.040 That's a big fucking deal.
00:14:35.700 And most people lack that.
00:14:37.220 They lack the ability to criticize themselves in a real way.
00:14:40.920 They either overly criticize themselves and make themselves feel like dog shit or they build
00:14:47.120 themselves up to be someone that they clearly aren't and they end up getting stomped.
00:14:50.940 And the truth is usually right down the middle, right?
00:14:54.560 So being able to honestly observe your actions and tell yourself the truth is a massive skill
00:14:59.540 that people have to develop and it's called, it's being self-aware.
00:15:03.520 Yeah.
00:15:04.440 You know, so what is the truth of your situation?
00:15:07.520 Are you actually giving what you could be giving or are you coasting?
00:15:11.760 Are you doing the little things or are you not doing the little things?
00:15:14.640 There's no in between, right?
00:15:16.360 You either are or you fucking aren't, right?
00:15:18.880 And people think there's like a nuance.
00:15:20.920 I'm kind of doing it.
00:15:22.020 Yeah.
00:15:22.320 Kind of doing it.
00:15:23.080 Don't get it done in a competitive world.
00:15:25.500 So, so realize that you're competing against literally millions of other humans for a spot
00:15:30.980 somewhere in the realm of where it is you decide you want to be in life.
00:15:34.960 There's still select few spots there.
00:15:37.860 Someone else will get your spot because you're willing to compromise some of the time.
00:15:42.960 That's just reality.
00:15:45.220 Yeah.
00:15:45.620 So I, you know, people like to talk about all this bullshit, you know, that everybody
00:15:53.060 is going to win and everybody gets to win.
00:15:55.300 No, they don't.
00:15:59.000 Yeah.
00:15:59.340 And that's reality.
00:16:00.960 That's not idealistic thinking.
00:16:02.720 I would, would it be cool if everybody got to win?
00:16:05.560 Sure.
00:16:06.080 I guess so.
00:16:06.940 But then again, I don't know that it would be because then what we're winning be.
00:16:10.100 It would be fucking average.
00:16:11.320 Somebody's got to lose.
00:16:12.140 And the people who lose are people who cut corners and compromise and get to a place
00:16:17.120 of complacency and don't recognize it.
00:16:19.800 Can't have an honest conversation with themselves.
00:16:22.080 And so their life falls apart.
00:16:23.860 So if you don't want to lose, don't do that.
00:16:25.920 That's awesome.
00:16:27.040 Well, Andy, guys, that is three.
00:16:28.620 So go pay the fee.
00:16:29.580 Yeah.
00:16:30.600 Pay the fee.
00:16:31.380 Yeah.
00:16:32.380 Went from sleeping on the floor.
00:16:34.320 Now my jewelry box froze.
00:16:36.040 Fuck a bowl.
00:16:36.840 Fuck a stove. 0.96
00:16:37.700 Counted millions in the cold.
00:16:39.360 Bad bitch. 1.00
00:16:40.200 Booted swole.
00:16:41.040 Got her on bankroll.
00:16:42.680 Can't fold.
00:16:43.560 That's a no.
00:16:44.360 Headshot.
00:16:45.200 Case closed.
00:16:45.880 Close.
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