REAL AF with Andy Frisella - March 11, 2022


251. Q&AF： Grateful But Ambitious, Value Of Spirituality & Employee To Leader


Episode Stats


Length

19 minutes

Words per minute

187.26048

Word count

3,567

Sentence count

306

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the Realist, DJ and Andy answer a bunch of your questions. DJ: What's the difference between being grateful for what you have and having an unquenchable thirst for more? Andy: How do you know when you re truly grateful?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realist, say goodbye to
00:00:20.960 the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.
00:00:25.680 Guys, today we have Q and AF.
00:00:31.060 This is where you bring the Qs and I bring the AFs.
00:00:34.680 How can they submit their Qs, Mr. DJ?
00:00:38.160 Oh, thanks, Mr. Andy.
00:00:39.400 You can submit your questions, email them in to askandy at andyfasala.com.
00:00:45.360 All right.
00:00:46.780 Also, before we start answering these Qs, there's a fee for the show.
00:00:53.240 The fee is not monetary.
00:00:54.320 I'm not going to ask for your credit card number.
00:00:55.900 I'm not going to ask you to send me any fucking money.
00:00:58.240 Cash out.
00:00:58.880 Yeah, I will ask you to cash out me some shit.
00:01:01.000 DJ, you give me that cash out.
00:01:03.160 You just cash out DJ.
00:01:06.400 You owe me a couple of dinners, I think.
00:01:07.840 I got you.
00:01:08.400 Yeah.
00:01:10.840 But the fee is very simple, guys.
00:01:13.840 If you learn something, if it makes your life better, if it teaches you something, which
00:01:17.080 I hope this will, please share the show.
00:01:19.420 Okay.
00:01:22.480 Yeah.
00:01:22.800 So, lots and lots of Qs.
00:01:26.200 Lots and lots of Qs.
00:01:27.260 The questions can be about pretty much anything.
00:01:29.280 We got a little diversity going on in these questions today, so I'm excited.
00:01:32.960 Well, here, look, dude.
00:01:34.500 Just so if this is your first couple times listening, you guys have to understand, okay?
00:01:39.940 My podcast, the MFCEO Project, is the number one entrepreneur podcast that was ever fucking
00:01:44.700 produced ever.
00:01:45.860 All right?
00:01:46.200 I switched that show to talk about the real shit going on in the world and rename the
00:01:53.260 show Real AF so I could talk more about society and current events because society and current
00:01:59.380 events dictate how well we can be entrepreneurs, right?
00:02:02.800 Especially the concept of freedom.
00:02:05.200 So, when you hear us talk about on the show, you're going to hear CTIs, which is cruise the
00:02:10.460 internet.
00:02:10.880 You're going to hear Q&AS, which is more personal development based.
00:02:15.240 We're going to have interviews with all kinds of people sometimes.
00:02:18.380 Those people might be ultra successful business people.
00:02:22.540 It might be people who served or won the Medal of Honor or killed Osama Bin Laden or who
00:02:28.740 fucking knows, okay?
00:02:32.060 Or it might just be a real talk where I get on here and talk some real stuff for you guys.
00:02:35.900 So, there's a little bit of everything here.
00:02:39.060 If you're a diehard, I'm only here for the entrepreneurship stuff, you're probably going
00:02:44.780 to want to listen to all of the shows except CTI, okay?
00:02:48.640 Or you could join Arote, which is Ed Milet and I's private group.
00:02:52.160 We opened up enrollment a couple times a year and it's all entrepreneurship based.
00:02:57.920 So, that's kind of how we're running things these days for a little catch up on what the
00:03:02.740 fuck's going on.
00:03:03.620 Yeah.
00:03:04.000 So, but today-
00:03:05.120 In this news hour.
00:03:06.160 Yeah, no shit.
00:03:07.020 It's Q&A.
00:03:07.560 Yeah, today it's Q&A.
00:03:08.980 All right?
00:03:09.400 AF.
00:03:10.440 So, we got any good ones today?
00:03:12.100 Yeah, I think we got some good ones, brother.
00:03:13.800 Got some good ones for you.
00:03:15.480 Let's knock these out.
00:03:16.660 Andy, question number one.
00:03:19.220 Okay, can you explain the difference between being satisfied and grateful for what you have
00:03:24.400 while still also having an unquenchable thirst for more, right?
00:03:28.840 Can you explain this to the average person?
00:03:30.660 Because I feel like it would be almost impossible to do both.
00:03:36.920 Look, there's two different kinds of people.
00:03:40.220 There's multiple different kinds of people on this planet, okay?
00:03:44.140 What you're asking me to do is to provide an answer that suits all these kinds of people.
00:03:49.320 And there just isn't one, all right?
00:03:51.120 There are going to be people, and this is okay, that are comfortable going to work.
00:03:59.020 Let's just say they're cooking french fries, okay?
00:04:02.100 And they're going to be cool with that job their whole life.
00:04:04.940 They're the nine to five.
00:04:05.880 Yeah, and dude, there's nothing wrong with that, okay?
00:04:08.720 That is okay.
00:04:10.100 You, freedom in America means that's okay.
00:04:12.820 And by the way, we need those people to operate society.
00:04:16.540 So, we should never shit on people that don't have the same drive or the same goals
00:04:20.720 or the same hunger that we have, okay?
00:04:24.140 Now, as someone who listens to the show, I already know that you're a driven human.
00:04:30.260 And see, what you're trying to do is you're trying to understand why not everybody is driven.
00:04:34.700 And this will drive you insane.
00:04:36.920 Trust me, all right?
00:04:39.060 People that listen to this show are in the top 1% of hungry, ambitious, success-driven people.
00:04:46.740 And most of the people that listen to this show listen to this show because they feel very alone in real life.
00:04:53.380 Yeah.
00:04:53.660 Because most people are not wired that way.
00:04:55.700 And I spent most of my life feeling like I was wrong, feeling like I was not normal, feeling like I was an outlier.
00:05:09.260 Yeah, just wired the wrong way.
00:05:11.700 And that's not the case.
00:05:13.400 All great people that change the world, that provide for other people, that create the jobs, that create the careers, that create change in the world in any way,
00:05:25.000 whether it be in the environment, whether it be in business, whether it be this or that or this, these are driven, hungry people.
00:05:31.420 And they fall in that 1%, okay?
00:05:33.920 So you have to realize that you've been given a gift.
00:05:37.600 You've been given a gift of being in that 1%.
00:05:40.440 And your job is not to try to understand the other 99%. 0.69
00:05:45.060 Your job is to execute the best that you can and to not go crazy doing it.
00:05:51.860 And that's where balancing out being ambitious and being someone who's hungry, someone who wants to create, someone who wants more, someone who wants to maximize their own potential here on this planet and beyond, okay?
00:06:07.580 And someone who's grateful for where they are and understands that, like, dude, even though things are really hard, it could be a lot worse.
00:06:15.420 Right.
00:06:15.640 And when you can balance those two things, they allow you to navigate the ambitious process a lot better because you don't always feel like you're behind and you don't always feel like you're missing things and you don't always feel like you're losing, right?
00:06:37.340 So you have to split your time between driving forward and also understanding how much you've accomplished and understanding that what you're accomplishing is important and you're grateful to have the opportunity.
00:06:55.440 Most of you are healthy.
00:06:57.260 Most of you are able-bodied.
00:06:58.920 Most of you have all these things that other people, most of you live in America.
00:07:03.540 Right.
00:07:04.840 Okay?
00:07:05.220 Um, there's all these things to be grateful for.
00:07:09.000 And sometimes when you're ambitious and hungry, you lose sight of these things and that creates a very miserable existence.
00:07:15.420 Yeah.
00:07:15.760 All right?
00:07:16.280 So that's where the balance comes into play.
00:07:18.520 But I wouldn't worry too much about trying to balance it out with, like, explain it to every average person because, dude, that's just wasted breath.
00:07:26.760 The best thing you can do if you want people to be better because where that comes from is somebody who wants better for their friends and family.
00:07:36.020 Right?
00:07:36.660 Yeah.
00:07:37.040 So, so the best way that you can provide better for your friends and family is to become so successful yourself that you can literally pull them along.
00:07:45.720 That's what I found.
00:07:47.180 Yeah.
00:07:47.580 So.
00:07:48.120 Fucking love it.
00:07:48.940 Yeah.
00:07:50.080 But don't waste your time trying to rationalize or figure out things that just are.
00:07:55.240 Right?
00:07:55.840 Like, we could sit here and analyze all day long why gravity is.
00:07:59.580 What's, why, why is gravity?
00:08:01.220 Yeah.
00:08:01.620 Why, why, why when we, when we step off the edge of the building, do we go splat?
00:08:05.280 Right.
00:08:05.560 We could sit here and talk about why and all it is, or we could just say, that's the way it is.
00:08:11.400 And accept it.
00:08:12.040 Yeah.
00:08:12.260 And then move on to something where our energy and thoughts are productive.
00:08:15.740 Does that make sense?
00:08:16.540 That's fucking awesome.
00:08:17.620 Love it.
00:08:18.920 Andy, question number two for you.
00:08:20.720 Okay.
00:08:21.000 How, how important, or I should say, how, how much value, okay, do you hold, um, on spirituality or, or being religious?
00:08:30.200 How, how important are those two things?
00:08:32.180 I don't believe in organized religion.
00:08:33.900 I believe the relationship between God and the individual is a relationship between God and the individual.
00:08:40.680 And I know a lot of people that listen to the show are conservative beliefs and they go to church and they do all these things.
00:08:46.580 And I, I, I do not, I think everybody's got their own thing that works for them.
00:08:52.380 I do not judge that.
00:08:53.340 I think it's, I think it's a great thing.
00:08:55.040 It's better than definitely not doing anything.
00:08:57.300 Right.
00:08:57.960 And being an immoral puddle of shit, like our entire government is let's be real.
00:09:03.340 Okay.
00:09:03.700 Um, but it's just not what I believe.
00:09:06.880 I believe, uh, that there is a, there is a direct connection between you and God and the universe.
00:09:14.820 And I believe it's all intertwined.
00:09:16.580 I believe energy is all intertwined.
00:09:18.500 And I truly believe that what you see for yourself and what you're willing to act upon and what you're willing to intentionally believe will be delivered to you.
00:09:30.880 Yeah.
00:09:31.200 And, and, and I think that relationship, you know, of, you know, I, and I, I went to Catholic school for a long time.
00:09:37.940 You know, I went and did, I just found that it was very empty.
00:09:41.000 I found that I didn't really get anything out of it.
00:09:43.980 Um, I found that I found myself as a, as a, you know, somewhat intelligent human looking at people who were preaching to me and thinking, well, you don't know what, how do you know about marriage?
00:09:58.060 When you've never been married, how do you know about raising kids when you've never raised kids?
00:10:02.360 How do you know about sexuality when you're abstinent?
00:10:05.760 Right.
00:10:05.960 You know?
00:10:06.320 And so I, I have a very hard time.
00:10:09.620 Um, I don't know if it's good or bad, but I have this thing where I, I, I always question if someone's a hypocrite or not.
00:10:17.660 Like when they're trying to teach me shit and, um, I don't learn from people who are, who are like that.
00:10:22.780 I just can't.
00:10:23.540 Once you write them off as.
00:10:24.660 Yes.
00:10:24.860 I can't, I can't overcome that personally.
00:10:26.960 Yeah.
00:10:27.180 And, and besides I have so much evidence to support the way I believe, um, that you couldn't convince me otherwise.
00:10:36.680 So, so my view is, is yes, I'm, I'm spiritual.
00:10:40.160 Yes.
00:10:40.600 I pray every single day.
00:10:42.080 Uh, I try to pray every single day.
00:10:43.980 Sometimes I forget and I feel bad about it.
00:10:45.960 Right.
00:10:46.660 Um, I don't know anybody that's blessed more than me.
00:10:49.780 So I feel really ungrateful when I don't do those things.
00:10:52.320 Right.
00:10:52.820 Um, you know, I constantly try to do the right thing.
00:10:57.160 I constantly try to live by the golden rule.
00:10:59.860 I try to, I try to do, um, what I would think God would be proud of me for.
00:11:07.300 Uh, and sometimes I fail at that.
00:11:09.220 Yeah.
00:11:09.800 You know what I mean?
00:11:10.440 And, and so I have a, I have a very honest personal relationship that I, I believe is,
00:11:16.820 is the, the way I operate.
00:11:18.480 And I'm not here to judge the way anybody else operates.
00:11:21.480 Yeah.
00:11:21.780 But I would say, even if you are a religious person, that it's important for you not to be
00:11:26.140 one of these people who just goes to church every Sunday to try to wipe away all their
00:11:29.660 wrongdoings and then goes right back to it the minute they leave church.
00:11:33.320 And I find that a lot of people that go to church, see it that way.
00:11:36.420 You know, they, they go to church and then on the way out of the church parking lot, they're
00:11:40.020 giving somebody the finger.
00:11:41.020 Right.
00:11:41.480 Right.
00:11:41.720 Um, or they're driving somebody, they're driving past somebody who, who has a flat tire or you
00:11:48.280 know what I'm saying?
00:11:48.820 Like homeless person.
00:11:49.660 Yeah.
00:11:49.760 There's a lot of, there's a lot of hypocrisy in people that I see in organized, uh, service.
00:11:55.440 Yeah.
00:11:55.800 And I, I think that, you know, everybody would be better.
00:11:58.780 Our, our entire culture, our entire world would be better if everybody, instead of passing
00:12:05.100 the buck off to like, I'm washing away my sins by going to, to this place once a week.
00:12:10.120 Right.
00:12:10.860 Um, but instead understood directly that God is watching every fucking movie make and, and
00:12:17.680 you should act accordingly.
00:12:19.560 That's how I, I try to, that's how I try to live.
00:12:21.680 Yeah.
00:12:21.960 Well, no, 100% dude.
00:12:22.980 Yeah.
00:12:23.120 And dude, I'm not perfect.
00:12:24.340 I do fucked up shit.
00:12:25.400 Like I make mistakes.
00:12:26.340 I do things that aren't right.
00:12:28.000 And I, I try to fix those things and I try to be better.
00:12:30.380 And I think that's part of being a human, right?
00:12:32.760 I think part of being a human is being honest about your imperfections and then working
00:12:36.800 to, uh, be a better one.
00:12:38.940 Yeah.
00:12:39.360 Why don't you, you hit the nail on the head.
00:12:41.220 I remember I was told a while ago, uh, just that you got to have a moral compass.
00:12:46.180 Yeah.
00:12:46.660 You know what I'm saying?
00:12:47.120 Like whether you want to live that, you got to live it.
00:12:49.480 Like if you want to pray to a fucking toaster, cool.
00:12:52.240 If that toaster is making you a better person, cool.
00:12:54.780 But I, I don't understand people who walk around with no moral compass.
00:12:58.220 And like you said, I mean, it's evident who those people are right now.
00:13:01.340 You know what I mean?
00:13:01.800 And that should, well, we got a president of the United States that goes to service on
00:13:04.640 Ash Wednesday who does all kinds of immoral shit.
00:13:07.500 You got it.
00:13:08.380 All right.
00:13:09.080 So let's be real.
00:13:10.480 I'm not with that kind of, that kind of hypocrisy.
00:13:13.820 It's not theater.
00:13:14.640 It's not theater to me.
00:13:15.780 Yeah.
00:13:16.100 It's real.
00:13:17.000 You know what I mean?
00:13:17.780 Like I think for a lot of people, it's theater.
00:13:19.580 I go to church.
00:13:20.460 I'm a good person.
00:13:21.240 I'm this, just cause you go to church doesn't mean you're a good person, bro.
00:13:24.140 Right.
00:13:24.980 You know what I'm saying?
00:13:25.540 Like it's about living it the best that you can.
00:13:28.040 And what happens Monday through fucking Saturday.
00:13:29.640 I think, I think that's the majority of it.
00:13:35.100 Yeah.
00:13:35.300 That's fucking awesome.
00:13:36.520 So Andy, our third and final question for you, uh, speaking on just making people better.
00:13:43.320 When do you know it's the right time for an employee to step up to that leadership position?
00:13:47.040 Like when, when does Andy give the blessing on that person and say, okay, you're right.
00:13:50.340 It's a good question.
00:13:51.280 That's a good question.
00:13:52.240 There's nuance to that.
00:13:53.300 That means, uh, there's going to be some instances that aren't consistent with other instances
00:13:57.440 and it's sort of an art.
00:13:58.600 Uh, but here's what I will tell you.
00:14:01.100 I used to wait until I truly believe this per the person who was stepping up into the
00:14:08.120 leadership, uh, had every single skill.
00:14:10.760 And whenever I was like that, no one ever got promoted.
00:14:14.660 Right.
00:14:15.660 Uh, and so it held my business back.
00:14:18.380 Right.
00:14:18.980 And then what I found out is those people would get frustrated because what, what you have
00:14:23.340 to understand is that most people on your team, they want, they want to be valuable.
00:14:27.400 They want to contribute to the win.
00:14:29.780 I mean, who doesn't want to score a touchdown pass or a touchdown in the Super Bowl?
00:14:33.240 Right.
00:14:33.580 Right.
00:14:33.800 That doesn't mean you have to be the MVP, but they want to do some shit.
00:14:36.880 Yeah.
00:14:37.120 And so it took me a long time to figure that out, made a lot of mistakes.
00:14:41.440 Um, I think my biggest regret as a, as a business owner is like, I think back at some of the
00:14:47.140 good leaders that I've had that have maybe moved on to other places, uh, because I was,
00:14:51.700 I held them back, not understanding that they were ready for that.
00:14:56.120 And I'm talking like 10 years ago.
00:14:57.520 Yeah.
00:14:57.900 Now I do it the opposite.
00:15:00.040 Like when I see someone who's like 50% ready to lead, I fucking throw them the fuck in there.
00:15:04.940 Right.
00:15:05.380 And then I accept that the mistakes they make are going to be, uh, part of their education
00:15:11.320 process as long as they aren't fatal.
00:15:13.400 Right.
00:15:13.700 Yeah.
00:15:14.180 Um, and I feel like that works better because people surprise you.
00:15:20.240 Um, people step up when they know that they're dependent on, um, they will go home and invest
00:15:26.020 more and take their shit serious, more serious with more responsibility.
00:15:30.500 Um, so I think, you know, it's an evolution and you as an entrepreneur are going to go
00:15:36.100 through this.
00:15:36.620 You're going to go through this period where, when it's just you, and then it's you and
00:15:39.960 maybe like another person, and then maybe it's you and like four other people.
00:15:43.340 And you're probably going to be in that scenario for quite a while.
00:15:46.940 And to get out of that scenario, you have to cross that bridge of trusting people to step
00:15:51.940 up and lead.
00:15:52.680 And really what this is, is this is the squelching of your own ego, right?
00:15:57.740 Like as the, the owner of the business or the CEO or whatever you want to call yourself,
00:16:03.760 we tend to think we're the smartest motherfuckers because we're the ones that started the business,
00:16:08.940 but it really doesn't take much to go file some paperwork, start a fucking business. 0.91
00:16:12.040 Right.
00:16:12.920 Um, so you had a good idea.
00:16:14.360 Yeah, right.
00:16:15.060 But the goal as an effective CEO is to surround yourself with people that are better than
00:16:19.840 you and smarter than you and more capable than you.
00:16:21.640 And a lot of people can't do that because they're afraid that if, you know, you surround
00:16:26.440 yourself with people who are much better than you, somehow that makes you worth less.
00:16:30.200 And I'm going to tell you what it does is it makes you worth a whole fucking lot more.
00:16:33.640 All right.
00:16:34.200 In the bank.
00:16:35.180 All right.
00:16:35.580 So what you want to do is you want to cross that bridge as soon as you can and start to
00:16:41.200 understand that people, cause I think what holds people back besides ego too, is that
00:16:46.100 they just think that, um, people don't care.
00:16:49.340 Right.
00:16:49.840 And they may not care as much as you, but fuck dude, they got to feed their family. 0.98
00:16:53.500 They got to pay for their bills.
00:16:54.860 They want to win too.
00:16:56.000 That's a good point.
00:16:56.580 So give them an opportunity to win their asses on the line, just like you, you know, and
00:17:00.600 that's how I look at it now.
00:17:01.760 And, and since I've adjusted that, um, and I've watched my brother go through this too.
00:17:07.320 My brother, he just told this story on Monday, um, at the Monday meeting.
00:17:10.760 Yep.
00:17:11.200 You know, every leader goes through this where they go from thinking they, they're the only
00:17:16.520 one capable, um, to teaching the team.
00:17:19.220 So then holding the team back because the other people have become capable and their ego is
00:17:24.180 sort of in the way, or they're, uh, they're not understanding.
00:17:28.000 They're not trusting their people enough.
00:17:29.880 Right.
00:17:30.220 Right.
00:17:30.540 Right.
00:17:30.640 Right.
00:17:31.260 And once you cross over that bridge, you kind of realize, oh shit, like I was kind of my
00:17:36.440 own worst enemy.
00:17:37.260 I was a terrible fucking leader.
00:17:38.680 Yeah.
00:17:38.880 Yeah.
00:17:39.360 And so what happens is other people step up and they become, um, even better than what
00:17:46.180 they were because, and, and they become even more dedicated to, to the mission because they
00:17:51.840 realized that you trusted them just like they trust you by even coming to work for you.
00:17:56.320 That's real.
00:17:56.820 So that's how I see it now.
00:18:00.320 And, and, you know, that's 23 years of me going through that process.
00:18:04.600 I fucked it up pretty bad.
00:18:05.980 Lots of times.
00:18:07.140 Um, and I think I've got to figure it out to this point now.
00:18:10.620 So that's what I would say.
00:18:12.360 I would say you got, well, I mean, dude, you can only build so much with you in a small
00:18:16.600 group.
00:18:17.020 Yeah.
00:18:17.300 So you really don't have a choice if you've got big goals.
00:18:20.340 Now, if you want to be a small business and this and that, that's a different thing.
00:18:23.960 But I would warn you that if you're not growing, you're dying.
00:18:26.720 And if your people aren't seeing you try to grow, they're going to quit on you.
00:18:29.860 And you're going to constantly be recycling through skilled people over and over and over
00:18:33.380 again.
00:18:33.840 The best policy I've found is shoot for the fucking stars, bro.
00:18:37.120 And just keep going.
00:18:38.320 Yeah.
00:18:38.580 You know what I mean?
00:18:39.740 And it's, it keeps it way more fun.
00:18:41.460 That's fucking awesome.
00:18:43.260 Guys, Andy, that's three.
00:18:45.040 That's three guys.
00:18:46.260 Tell them DJ.
00:18:46.920 Go pay the fee.
00:18:47.700 All right.
00:18:49.140 Went from sleeping on the floor.
00:18:51.040 Now my jewelry box froze.
00:18:52.760 Fuck a bowl.
00:18:53.540 Fuck a stove. 0.96
00:18:54.400 Counted millions in the cold.
00:18:56.080 Bad bitch. 1.00
00:18:56.900 Booted swole.
00:18:57.740 Got her on bankroll.
00:18:59.380 Can't fold.
00:19:00.260 Doesn't know.
00:19:01.060 Headshot.
00:19:01.900 Case closed.
00:19:02.560 Close.