280. Q&AF： Emotional Purchases, Prenuptial Agreements & Biggest Learning Lesson
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Summary
In this episode of Q&A, the guys answer a bunch of questions submitted by you, the listeners. This is the first episode of The Realists, the show for the realists, where you send in the questions and we give you the answers.
Transcript
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What is up guys, it's Danny Priscilla and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye
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to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking
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Guys, today we have Q and AF, this is where you send in the Qs and I'm going to give you
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Everywhere else you get the answers, here you get the AFs, that's just how we do shit.
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We do CTI, which is Cruise the Internet, which is basically a current event show, a humorous
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take on the fuckery that's going on in society.
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Then we have Real Talk, which is basically where I get on and tell you the uncomfortable
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truth of the scenario, and then you write me emails about how I'm an asshole.
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Then we have full-length episodes, which are bringing on heroes and a very accomplished people
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who kick ass in life and figuring out how they do it.
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And then we have Q and AF, which is what you're listening to now.
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Unlike most other shows, I don't fill your ears with a bunch of bullshit.
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So I'm not on here hawking ads, you know, the whole show or half the show or even at
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So in exchange for not doing advertisements for a third of the show, I would like if you
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And that means telling somebody if it gave you some sort of benefit, if it made you think,
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if it made you laugh, if it made you a better person, if it gave you some skills, which
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this episode definitely will, please share the show.
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And let these guys know, like where you guys submit your questions.
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Well, how would we do this where people could call in during the show?
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I would like to like actually have people call in and us answer the question.
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So even they can be about anything, they can be about life, business, whatever it is.
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Email those questions into ask Andy at Andy for seller dot com.
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And if they're good questions, they will be asked.
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That they send those to the other people to answer questions.
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They the ones who give you just the A's and not the AF.
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Andy, you have amassed a really nice car collection.
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Over the 23 years in business it took you to get here.
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Are those emotional purchases or like what are your thoughts?
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Look, you're going to have two kinds of purchases in your life.
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You're going to have necessities and things that make sense.
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And then you're going to have emotional purchases.
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And it's not that you should only have logical purchases that make sense.
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It's that you should be aware whether or not the purchase you make are emotional or
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financially beneficial slash logical decisions, investments.
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This is a common thing that people get confused about.
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And it's something that I think everybody needs to understand that it's OK to make emotional
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purchases as long as you understand that emotions are involved.
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You know, a lot of people, they buy their own their house.
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But the truth of it is, is that like unless you get really lucky or unless the market works
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in your favor or unless, you know, you stay there for a really long time or unless you
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pay cash, the truth of the matter is, is your own home that you live in really isn't
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even an investment because you're paying interest.
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And over the course of 30 years, the interest is going to equate, you know, to roughly the
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You're going to live there, let's say, for five years.
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And, you know, you have all these expenses that add up that cost you money.
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The improvements you do that you put in the house are going to cost you money.
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And so a lot of people are taught that, you know.
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So your own home is your biggest investment and it can be, but it's just not always that
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And, you know, people say I hear auto commercials, your car is your second biggest investment.
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OK, your house is usually also a cost of living.
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So you get to decide how much emotion and how much logic you put into those decisions and
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how this would come into play for your house would be like, what kind of quality of life
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These are more emotional decisions once you get past the basic level of survival.
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I mean, but like with my cars have turned into an investment.
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Because I bought them, I mean, many years ago, and then the ones I have now, the market
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has adjusted in a way where those cars are going for hundreds of thousands of dollars
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And I've built the relationships to get those cars at sticker cost over the last decade or
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But dude, I also understand that the market will adjust and it could go to where those cars
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The fact that I happen to be up on my collection and millions and millions of dollars, that's
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It's like when you think of an estate and you put a picture in your face or in your head
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about what an estate looks like, it's probably going to look like my state.
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It ain't, it ain't, uh, it's not just a big house, you know?
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In fact, that whole house, that exact house was a dream of mine for 20 years.
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And to be completely honest, it doesn't make me any happier to live there than when I lived
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So it's, you know, once you're back, once you're past the basic point of survival, uh,
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Like, do I want to roll up in a, um, you know, and a lot of guys think differently, you know,
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they, they want, they don't care what they drive.
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You know, they drive a fucking, you know, old beater with, you know, cracks in the windshield
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And people, and those, some of those guys roll up and they got fucking $20 million in
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Like, you can't, you can't judge someone on their lifestyle, um, either way.
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Like there's a lot of guys I know that live beyond their means.
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Like what's the dangers of the emotional purchase?
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Well, you just don't want to overextend, you know, your basic rules of personal finance.
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Like I, I live, I live my life on a certain percentage of my income and I have lived my life
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on a certain percentage of my income since I was making no money.
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And so now my machines that I have, the businesses I own generate enough income where I'm able
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to live this really nice life on that same percentage, which keeps it in check.
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So it's, it's okay to be emotional and buy things that you enjoy and buy things that you
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I think where people really get into, uh, problems is when they're, when they buy things
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Um, you know, a lot of people don't understand the house thing.
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You know, if you have a house that costs 200 grand and in five years you could sell it
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for two 50, um, you didn't make any money, bro.
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Because over that five years, you spent 50 grand, probably just maintaining the house
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And people will sell the house for two 50 and be like, fuck, I made 50 grand.
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Like, and that financial, that financial ignorance is what gets people in trouble.
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And you have to, you have to educate yourself financially independently of what society says,
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because society will tell you that a house is an investment no matter what.
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And that a car is your second biggest investment.
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Like, I hope everybody understands that they want you to be financially illiterate.
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Why didn't they teach you in high school about this and this and this?
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There's a reason because what do you do right after high school?
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You sign up for hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, which they want you to fucking not understand
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so that then you're chained to it for the rest of your life.
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So if you're a young person listening to the show, that is not an anti-college statement.
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So like you parents and kids, you guys should be learning finances right now.
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Like if they're 12 years old, you should be trying to, and if your parents, if you don't
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know, you should learn so that you can educate your kids because the school system will not
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And society will not do it and they don't do it intentionally.
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So, um, but dude, once you get past survival, which, you know, your goals, your goals should
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be accumulating wealth, not saving your pennies.
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You should be focused more on creating the engines that bring the flow in than you are
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on, uh, trying to save, you know, this and that and this, uh, out of your whatever.
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Like you need to be aggressive with trying to pursue a higher income level because that
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So the, uh, this person says, Andy, um, I've been with my significant other for five years.
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Um, I'm starting to see a decent amount of success in my business.
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I know he also, he says, I know that, um, you don't know our relationship like that,
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I think it depends on the, on where you are when you get into business.
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Um, I, I, I don't regret not having one, even if things were to go awry.
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Um, I wouldn't be here without the support of Emily.
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She's done so much, so much for me in my life, uh, supported me.
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You know, she didn't build this company, but I definitely wouldn't be where I'm at without
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that support in a many, in many different ways.
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So for me, I think the attitude has always been, you know, if someone's around and supports
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you and helps you and pushes you, even if they're not a part of the business, um,
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you should recognize that as a contribution to your success because it is, and anybody
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who's tried to build a business with a negative partner, which I have, you real, you start
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to value people who are, who are even neutral in, in my case, supportive, uh, in a very strong
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Um, so I think the best attitude when it comes to that, um, is that, you know, and then you're,
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And you built this huge company and you sold it and then you meet someone that then it's
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Because that's real that you're protecting your own shit.
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They'll pretend to be who you want to be to get money.
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And, um, you will never get money that way, by the way, you will never win that way.
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I think if that person's made a financial contribute or not a financial, but a support
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contribution to this business, you know, taking care of the home, uh, making life easy, not
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nagging, not making it hard, uh, because a building a business is fucking hard, man.
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And if you have someone that supports you and makes your home life stable and not, um,
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you know, nagging or negative and emotionally draining, um, I think you should consider that
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when you consider, you know, the wealth that you create, you know what I mean?
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So, um, it really comes down to doing the right thing.
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And, and it sounds like I'm going to make some assumptions about that person.
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Let's say five years, they've been with the person the whole time.
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They built a successful company and they're starting to see some wealth.
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I would say the person's probably contributed to that tremendously.
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Now, if you're coming home every day and they're bringing drama to you or, or you're there,
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they're texting you 400 times a day, or they're fucking making it hard for you succeed.
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That's a conversation that, uh, needs to be had and corrected because dude, I would say
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You, you guys, you, you guys need to understand that having a partner in life is not about,
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uh, you know, the sexual attraction or, or the way someone looks or this or that.
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It's about having like a best friend that will fucking help you through all the hard shit
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because you're going to fucking need it because life is fucking hard.
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And I think if people put a little more thought into selecting, you know, cause dude, lots of
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Until, until, uh, you get to the part where it actually counts and they ain't that beautiful.
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And so you have to really be smart about selecting who you're going to be with, uh, when it comes
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And, and for those of you, like for those of you who want to attract someone who has their
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shit going on, that's the kind of partner you need to work to become someone who supports
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someone who contributes someone who takes, uh, the load and, and shares it.
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You know, those are the things that, that really matter in a relationship.
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But I think there's a place in, there's a time and a place for a prenup.
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I mean, the truth is, bro, you should be with someone where if shit went bad, you can
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sit down with them and have a real discussion and say, okay, here's what I think is fair.
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And you should be able to trust that person's going to be able to work it out with you.
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And if you're not with someone like that and you're with someone who would even fucking
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like try to fuck you, you're with the wrong person.
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Andy, question number three for you, uh, 23 years in business.
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What was one mistake or a bad decision that you've made that you, that you believe you made
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the biggest, you turned it into the biggest lesson?
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You learned the most from, man, I don't know if there's a biggest one, like there's been
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a lot of big ones, but it could have been a small, small mistake, but it gave you the
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It's the important is not the specific episode.
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The importance of the question is you should adopt the mentality of every time you get kicked
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Like this isn't, it doesn't matter what challenges I've gone through.
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I could give you a thousand because I'm still making mistakes on a daily basis.
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You know, but I've just adjusted my perspective to a point where I understand certain things.
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Very few negative occurrences in your life are going to bury you.
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In fact, I, I've never seen anyone buried by one single event or two single events, but
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what I have seen them buried by is one or two single events that they continue to repeat
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It's not the specific, my specifics of my story are, are irrelevant and I'm not dodging
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I just couldn't tell you because I'm always learning and I'm always getting my face kicked
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So if you could just adopt the attitude to understand that bad things are going to happen, bad things
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When those bad things happen, you have to, you have to get back up off the fucking ground and
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you got to learn your lesson and keep moving forward.
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And if you do that, you will win because most people get kicked in the face and they let
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the self doubt creep in, or they let the negative talk creep in, or, you know, someone
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tells them, you know, something that really pegs at their insecurities.
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You know, no one fucking actually likes you when you really feel like no one actually likes
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And, and so they go into their turtle shell and they don't ever try to do anything for
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They just say, man, I'm, I'm shitty because obviously people think I'm shitty.
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And you know, it's not that bro, you know, people are fucking cruel.
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And I think those things are, uh, you know, those, when those things happen, it's a test
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of your character to forgive, stand up, you know, dust yourself off and keep moving forward.
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You know, like I, I don't think anybody that's listening to this, uh, should consider themselves
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at the mercy of other people's opinions because it's just not the reality.
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It will only be that reality if you allow that reality to be creative for you.
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So it's important for you to understand that, you know, yes, bad things are going to happen.
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All the shit that you probably are afraid of is probably going to happen.
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So get the fuck up and take another step forward, man.
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Like, dude, um, I have a guy here at the office who is 19 years old and he's in a wheelchair.
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Uh, he had a, he didn't know he had a diabetes.
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He went into diabetic coma, woke up with no leg.
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You know, the kid's the most positive kid in this building.
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Cause if you don't have that attitude, dude, the world will stomp you out like a fucking
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What gets me though, man, cause I mean, I know you see it and, but what really gets
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me, man, is when people create their own, like they, it's like they kick themselves in
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That's because the victim culture, victim culture right now is popular, right?
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The way you get like shares and comments online is by pretending that you're like struggling
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And then everybody comes around and says, Oh, but that only works for a minute.
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You know, once you do it 20 times, people start seeing, God, you're a negative person.
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They might still click like on that photo, but they don't want to spend time with you
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So, you know, I wouldn't buy into that victim culture society perpetuates because it's a
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It's showing other humans what's actually possible.
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Dude, when you think about all the shit that's created in this world and you look around at
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the buildings and the businesses and the technology and all the amazing shit, people created that.
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And behind every one of those stories is a whole bunch of people that said, dude, you're
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And so you have to understand that that's just reality.
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And if you're operating with an understanding that that's the real way that people are,
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it doesn't really hurt you when they do that stuff because you just understand that's the
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Like when people say shit to me, you know, when they, when they, I understand people very
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So I know that when people attack me and they say, oh, he's got anger issues or he's too
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intense or he's this or that, or he's this or that, or this, this, this, all they're
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doing is pointing out the shit in me that they don't, that they know they lack.
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Like when you, when you see someone that you don't like and it triggers you and they're
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just doing their thing, what you're mad at is you're mad at yourself because you lack
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So when you should see it as, man, I wish I had that, that confidence, or I wish I had
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that intensity, or I wish I had that focus, or I wish I had that drive and start to work
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Andy, how the fuck did you develop that passion?
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Like, like, I mean, you can flip it even that way, man.
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Start asking questions, man, instead of getting angry about everything.
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Let's say you're doing a project and keeping aside the data, you don't know anything data,
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Because you said bad things happen to everybody.
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So let's say you're going to do, build a building, or you're going to start a company.
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So you know, I'm going to spend this much money.
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Because you said bad things happen to everybody.
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Well, no, I go into projects knowing that things are going to happen.
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And probably sometimes because I expect it, they actually happen.
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But if I'm prepared for it and I expect it, I know I can handle it.
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And I know that I'll learn a new lesson through that.
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Because you also believe in the law of attraction and putting energy out.
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But at the same time, you're also expecting that bad things also happen all the time.
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But see, I look at bad things as a good thing because I know that it improves my, whatever
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So like, when I see, when I see a challenge that would be called a bad thing, right?
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And I see it as an investment into my skill set and an opportunity to improve as opposed
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Cause knowing that there's a lot of other motherfuckers that would just stop at that.
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It builds your confidence a hundred percent and it builds your belief in yourself.
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Like dude, purposefully putting yourself in situations to test yourself or overcome
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challenges is probably the most healthy thing you could ever do as a human being.
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Because how are you going to know who you are or believe in who you are or trust in your
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So, you know, there's, there's a lot to that, but I think, you know, that's a great
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Guys, if it made you think, if it taught you something, gave you a new perspective, I