286. Q&AF： Power Of Delaying Gratification, Biggest Risk-Taking Mistake & Emotionless Decision Making Process
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Summary
In this episode of The Realist, DJ Madat answers your questions and gives you the answers to some of your most pressing business, personal, social, and political questions. DJ also gives advice on how to wean yourself off of the instant gratification mentality and focus on your long term goals.
Transcript
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What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realist say goodbye to
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the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.
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Guys, today we have Q and AF, that's where you submit your questions and I give you the
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We also have, if this is your first time listening, we have multiple shows that we run on this
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We have CTI, which is Cruise the Internet, which is basically where DJ claims to find
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things to put on the screen that we talk about, but really it's Madat that does it.
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Another white man taking all the credit for black people.
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Oh man, it's real out here in the streets, isn't it?
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Real Talk is where I basically do a little rant.
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Sometimes I get pretty hyped up, but it's because I love you guys and I want you guys to win
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and this fake ass shit that they've been teaching you for your whole life ain't going to get you
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So Real Talk is kind of where I like yell at you a little bit and it's going to hurt your
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feelings and you're probably going to say, fuck that guy.
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And then you're going to go home and say, man, he's right.
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And then we have Full Length where I bring in some of my super successful, super interesting
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friends and we chop it up and have a good time and talk about what's going on, talk about
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It was the number one entrepreneur podcast of all time and we switched it in 2019 to talk
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But we also give the personal development side with the Q&A, which is what we're about
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If you're interested in more personal development, Ed Milet and I run the Arte Syndicate.
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It's the most powerful entrepreneur group on the planet.
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And we go way, way, way, way in depth in that group about entrepreneurial knowledge.
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The fee is not monetary unless you want it to be.
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But if you don't want it to be and you don't want to spend your money, all we ask is that
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Guys, as always, if you want to submit any of these questions for Q&A, email them directly
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So we live in a society right now where there's all this instant gratification, right?
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With all that instant gratification and the ultra convenience of the you can have it right
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now mentality, how would you suggest weaning yourself off of that mentality and the importance
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If you don't do that, you can never be successful because the ultimate key for anybody that wants
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to be successful from not only what I've experienced in my life, but also what all my successful
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friends that I consider truly successful will tell you is that it really comes down to your
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If you cannot understand that you are trading a day of suffering today for a day of prosperity
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down the road, you will never get anywhere because that's the reality of what it is, okay?
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What you're doing right now is you're investing with your effort, with what you put in your
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body, with what you put in your brain, with the work that you do, with the things that
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you create today, you are investing in a result that may be three, four, five, six months down
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the road, or if it's in business, it could be three, four, five years down the road.
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And so it's important to understand that and develop an awareness that there is a big
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I grew up learning, yeah, I know, no, I grew up learning, well, the good thing is I'm like
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19 in my brain, right, and in my body, if I'm being real.
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So the difference is, is that, you know, I was raised with the understanding that if you
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wanted to win, you had to fucking outwork everybody, okay?
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I was taught that from when I was a little bitty kid.
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I was lucky enough to have parents that taught me that, that showed me that, and that,
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brought me and my brother to understand that as a non-negotiable truth of reality, and
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And today, you know, we have all these modern technology conveniences that make things super
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When Sal and I, and people my age, didn't grow up with those things, okay?
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We didn't grow up with the ability to connect with friends all over the world.
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We didn't grow up, yeah, we didn't grow up with any of that.
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You know, if we were to become someone significant, we had to create something significant that
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The big illusion is that you could be relevant by doing nothing and you could be successful
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by kind of like skating your way through it and he could have it today.
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And, and there's, there's, it's not young people's fault that they believe this because
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when they look in every single area of life, everything that they brought up and been brought
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up in is instant, man, instant text message, food in 30 minutes, uh, you know, fucking I
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can order a product that's here tomorrow by clicking one button.
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Like, dude, that was not the way it was when we were growing up.
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And if you're listening and you're under the age of 35 years old or 30 years old, especially
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it's not your fault that you grew up in an age that taught you that patience wasn't important
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because the technology was there to cover that gap.
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But in reality and how things work, patience is still a huge deal.
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And so we have a whole generation of people who want to be successful that don't understand
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the concept of what, like what I call aggressive patience actually is, you know, people hear
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people talk about patience and they think that means just waiting around for shit to happen.
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It means you have to work your ass off every single fucking day and win every single day
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and still be patient and understand that that's going to, that's going to have to go on for
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And this is why I'm so big on, you know, the concept of winning the day.
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You can go back and listen to that real AF episode 16, um, or you can get the power list
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But the reality is, is like, dude, if you break it down on a win by day, by day, by day, by
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And so what people have to understand is that have grown up in this scenario of instant gratification
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is that's not reality, even with the technology.
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And what happens is these people get frustrated after three, four, five, six months of doing
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And they think that that's, it's taken so long or it's taken too long.
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It took me eight, eight months to have a day, a day in sales of $200.
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It took me five years, five and a half years to get my second store open.
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Um, my first three years in business, I made a zero.
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My next seven years, I made $695 a month for a total of $58,000 over the course of
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And people hear that and they're like, well, how the fuck did you do that?
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Well, first of all, the, that's what I chose to pay myself.
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When we were able to start paying ourselves, I chose and Chris chose to pay ourselves that
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and to live way below our means to roll every single fucking penny that we had back into
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our dream, back into our vision and clearly it's paid off, but that's how people have
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You know, these younger people who, who didn't grow up in an, in an age where patients was
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taught just from going through life day to day to day to day, you know, and they grew
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up with all this crazy, awesome technology, um, that doesn't negate the actual laws of success.
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And one of the laws of success is aggressive patients.
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If I was a younger person and I'm wanting to be successful and I want to build something
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significant, I would look at it a couple of different ways.
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One, you're at a tremendous advantage because the people around you are not nearly as ambitious
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Not everybody now is, is, is basically resided to a NPC life, like a non-playable character
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Like, oh, as long as I get enough food and I got my video games and I get my, you know,
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That's not, it's not, it's been culturally designed this way intentionally to limit the
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growth of our American culture here in this country.
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That's been pushed down through our culture over the course of years.
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And it sucks because we have far less ambition in this country, but it's great for someone
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who's 20 years old or 25 years old or 30 years old.
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It's just getting started and wanting to do something big because far less people are
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The second thing that you need to be aware of that is in your favor, which is amazing
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is that you do have this amazing technology and you have the ability to, you know, like
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one of the most underrated parts of technology that people don't, that miss out on is the
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ability to just connect and watch and observe other people who are doing things that you
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Like I couldn't look at other people who own nutrition companies and see what they did
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I could read some Jim Rohn books, you know, but like, I wasn't able to, you know, to literally
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watch, like you guys watch me and you watch other successful people.
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So, uh, and then the third thing is you have this crazy ability to market now via online
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and reach millions and millions and millions of people by just being creative with your
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content, connecting and networking with people, um, and utilizing the tools that these social
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media networks allow you to do where you geofence down into like literally, literally zip
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And, you know, market to people, you know, I had to go, like, I literally had to go door
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You know, that shit doesn't have to happen anymore like that.
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Now I recommend that you do that because it teaches you a skillset that your, your friends
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Um, but the, the speed at which you can grow a company now with the proper decisions and
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the proper mentality is much faster than what it was when I was coming around.
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I didn't really discover social media until I was already 10 years into business.
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I know that's a lot to chew on, but at the end of the day, um, the number one differentiating
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factor between people who win and people who don't, uh, is really two things.
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Cause like, you know, I go to Starbucks and be in there and you got this fucking lady
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who gets pissed off because it's taking, you know, an extra 30 seconds to get a fucking
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You know, like there's just instant, dude, it annoys the fuck out of me.
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Like I intentionally try to do the things the hard way, you know what I'm saying?
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Or things that take extra amount of time, whatever it is, that's fine.
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You know, because I find myself even getting into those moods.
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Well, dude, a great way to help down and a great way to, to, to learn patience is by
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doing things that require patience and a great way to, to, to build discipline is by doing
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Like one thing I do is when I get really fucking hungry, cause I fast, I'm a faster, um, I,
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I, I make a mental note and I'm like, when I get really hungry and I want to fucking cheat
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or I want to eat or I'm, you know, I'm not in my window where I can eat, bro.
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I, I, I check out of that and I say, you know what, this is the opportunity for me.
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I stopped myself and I said, this is an opportunity for me to grow my discipline.
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And it's going to make an investment into my discipline.
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I think it just takes a whole new self-awareness level.
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I never thought about it like that until probably four years ago.
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But hunger is one of the greatest ways to, to build discipline.
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Well, let's get on to question number two for you, Andy.
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Andy, what's the biggest mistake people tend to make when it comes to taking risks?
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Instead of asking you yourself, oh man, what's going to happen if I do this and this could go
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wrong and this could go wrong and this could go wrong and this, this, this, and this,
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What you should be asking yourself is what's my life going to look like if I don't fucking
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And that'll change your perspective on risk instantly.
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Like if you are comfortable where the fuck you are and you want to live there for the
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rest of your life and you want to be just like you are today, the same amount of money,
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the same friends, the same house, the same car, the same income, fucking everything, the
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Don't take any risks and you get to stay there or it's maybe get a little worse.
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Or you can realize that there's millions and millions and millions and millions of people
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who are just like you, who have done amazing things, who have done the exact things that
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And the main thing that they were able to do was they were able to answer the question,
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what's my life going to look like if I don't do this?
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And they didn't like that shit and they went and took the action.
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So like when I'm struggling with risk, dude, like, which I don't really anymore because
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I look at risk also as a, as a, as an opportunity to learn a lesson.
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Like if I take a risk and I fuck up, that's a good thing because now I learned how not
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So I owe, I value my losses as much as I value my wins because without the losses,
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you can't even understand how good the wins are.
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So, and, and without the losses, you can't develop the skills that you need to have
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over the course of time to actually win long-term.
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So what a lot of people do is they go through life hoping that they win, win, win, win, win,
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And what they're actually doing is setting themselves up because the more you win without
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making a mistake, the bigger your mistakes going to make at a bigger level because you're
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So you need to value your losses just as much as you value your wins because of the
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skills that you get to pull and extrapolate from those losses.
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So, um, you know, not, not taking a risk is a bigger risk than taking the risk in almost
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Less like the risk is like, okay, you might die if you do this, you know, Sam.
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It's a little different, you know, but, but it's still, you know, at the, at the end of
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the day, uh, do you want to die someone who, who took risk or do you want to die
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Even if in that scenario, you know what I'm saying?
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Like for me personally, and I know everybody's not like me and, and, and that's
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cool, but like, I'm a man of my own principles and my own standards and, and, and I'm going
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And if that means that I do something and it kills me, then that's what the fuck it
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does, but I'm not bending or breaking it for anybody.
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Um, this is a live heart question for you, Andy.
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So, uh, this person writes, Andy, we should have three critical tasks for phase one, but
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the app says eight and everything I see online says eight.
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The other five are the ones that you're already doing on 75 heart.
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Go listen to the power list, episode number 16, understand what the power list is.
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And then what you'll understand is that you've already been executing the five tasks.
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And I'm asking you to do three additional tasks.
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So you, this person who asked this question probably just is unfamiliar with, uh, episode
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And, um, I'm actually training you with the live heart program on how to execute in your
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Um, you know, that's sort of supposed to be the surprise.
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Um, Andy, how do you separate your emotions from your decision-making process?
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I don't always, it depends on if the decision that I'm making is appropriate to have emotion
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For example, if I'm deciding what house I want to buy, I have to spend a lot of time there.
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I have to decide if that's where I want to live my life.
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I have to decide if that's going to make me happy.
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And, and what, what kind of place do I want to live?
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How do I want to, what neighborhood do I want to be in?
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If I looked at that as an unemotional thing and I said, I need shelter and running water
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and shit and a place to shit and, you know, eat, um, I could live in a fucking 400 square
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And you have to just acknowledge that there's emotion in that decision and that's okay.
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Because you're going to spend a lot of time that's going to dictate your amount of happiness
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No, I'm saying there's emotional and non-emotional.
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So that's one example of an emotional decision.
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Um, if I'm looking at, let's say, uh, my goal is to make a certain amount of money on a real
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And, um, I, I get an offer that meets my goal that I set out to, to, to make on that deal.
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That's just me honoring the contract I made with myself ahead of time.
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Now it's very important to separate emotions out of that deal because the way people get
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killed in those deals is what they do is they get greedy and they say, oh, well, if I made
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And so like for trading or investing or things like that, it's very important that you are,
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um, non-emotional when it comes time to, uh, to exiting those scenarios.
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Because a lot of times when people get crushed, it's because they got emotional on the top
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end and they said, oh, fuck dude, that was easier than what I thought it was going to
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I made my 300 K there, but I think I can make 600 if I just hang on a minute.
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And then the next day the ship fucking tanks and you get fucked.
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So that's just a, that's just an arbitrary general thing.
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But my point of the, of the answer is it depends.
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Like it's okay to make decisions with emotion, but the problem is most people make decisions
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that are meant to be without emotion with emotion and they're not aware of it.
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So really what we're talking about here is, is developing an awareness of how much of
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your decision is emotion and how much of it is math or logic.
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And you have, if you, as long as you're aware of that, it's totally cool.
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Like people, people used to give me shit about my car collection and they're like, oh dude,
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you're wasting so much money and you know, blah, blah, blah.
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And at the time, you know, like cars weren't what they are now.
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But I didn't care because it, it added to my quality of life so much and it made me feel
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good and I enjoyed it that I knew it was emotional.
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Even though I was okay with like it costing me money.
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Now it happens that the market has shifted and now I'm up millions and millions and millions
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And I look like I'm really smart, but at the end of the day, it wasn't ever about that
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It's my cars are an emotional decision that I choose to enjoy because I love it and I'm happy
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with it and there's car, there's cars I have that I overpaid tremendously for.
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Because my emotion said, dude, I got to have that exact car.
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Like it doesn't make, it doesn't make financial sense, so to speak, but it makes emotional sense.
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Do you think people that only make non-emotional decisions, like what do you think?
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Like dude, like, like I'll give you the most basic example.
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People, people, people that don't want a dog, people that say, I don't want a dog.
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That dog is the best fucking thing you'll have in your fucking life.
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It love you no matter what you'll come home every day.
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It might've shit in the house, but you won't care because it's funny as shit.
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And they do good shit and they come and love you and they make you feel good.
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And you'll get more joy and pleasure out of that fucking dog than you could ever possibly
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imagine like, bro, if I could pay, I would, I would pay every fucking dollar I had to
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Oscar, every fucking dollar, every fucking dollar I had.
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I pay like if, if God walked in today and said, Hey dude, give up everything.
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Everything I would, I would, that's how much I would give up to have it.
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So that's a highly emotional decision that adds tremendous amount of joy to your life
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that a lot of people won't make because it doesn't make logical sense for them because
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they're thinking of the one time that they've got to leave, go to work, or they've got to,
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They don't know what, bro, you figure that shit out.
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You know, a lot of people would say that to me about having kids, but that's a different
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Guys, you had a little extra caramel sauce on there.
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I do these shows, especially these Q and AFs to help you win.
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If you feel like they help you win, please share the show.