32. Real Talkļ¼ It's You
Episode Stats
Summary
In this episode of The Realists, Andy Frisella dives deep into the topic of why you should stop complaining about everything in your life, relationships, and jobs, and focus on what s actually working for you.
Transcript
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told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living
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spoke it till existence mold changed to 50 got mold cost than did it i only weigh 180 but my
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watch cost 250 what's up guys it's andy frisella and this is the show for the realists say goodbye
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to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys
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today i got an awesome show for you before i get into it i just want to remind you we're here to
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help you we're here to serve you this is why i don't run ads this is why i don't run ads either
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on the show and on all the social media and platforms that we have to bring the audience to
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the show i take pride in this being a homegrown show meaning this show is built by you all okay
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it's completely dependent on word of mouth if you share it it grows our rankings go up if you don't
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share it it doesn't go up and i believe that we're the only show out there like that so here's the
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deal everything we do here is free and you'll never hear me run an ad ever but i do have a fee and the
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fee is this if you like the show if you learn something if it was a good show if it made you
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laugh if it entertained you if it made you think if it made you make an adjustment in how you're living
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if it made you better which is the goal please share it please leave us a positive review please
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hit subscribe those things help us spread the message and if you believe that more of this message
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needs to be out then i ask that you share it if you think that our show sucks i'm not asking you to
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share it this is a fair deal very very fair deal if you saw what i was doing right now i'd be doing
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some trump shit right there right but hey here's the deal guys all right today i woke up i felt great
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i'm happy i'm heading into work i'm excited okay i look around and i see all these amazing people and
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things i have in my life i've got an incredible historic mansion home i've got an amazing wife i've
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got amazing dogs i've got a bunch of kick-ass cars every car i've ever dreamed of almost i own
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i i have these amazing people at work that i get to see every day i've got this company that just
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helps transform all these people's lives i've got this other company that helps train entrepreneurs
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to be the best that they can be dude my life is winning it's winning i'm genuinely grateful god
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favors me for some reason i have no idea why but i work every day to fulfill the obligation i have
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back to him but when i look around this is not what i'm seeing from most other people instead i overhear
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people complaining about nearly every aspect of their life i see people complaining about their
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relationships about their jobs on facebook to literally anyone who will listen and that's what i want
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to talk to you guys about today did you ever think for a second if i spend my whole day complaining
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either vocally or in my head about everything in my life maybe it's just me take physical fitness for
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example if you're on instagram and posting a picture with a caption that says another day still fat
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well did you do anything to fix that i highly doubt you knocked out this 45 minutes of intense
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cardio regimen right before you put that up online let's be honest guys you probably killing your fifth
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slice of pizza and then felt a little twinge of regret okay fat doesn't melt away just because you
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complained about it muscle doesn't show up miraculously because you felt bad for yourself
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if you didn't put in any of the work what did you really expect i mean come on guys aren't we past
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this kind of thinking how about our relationships instead of crying about your partner to anyone who
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will listen did you ever stop and think maybe it's you causing the problems maybe you don't contribute
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to the relationship maybe you don't work hard to cultivate the relationship maybe it's you that
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does things that aren't conducive to a positive relationship at some point it may just be a
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communication issue sometimes with yourself if you're the type of person who airs all their dirty
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laundry around to everyone guys except your partner chances are the issue probably is with the person
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you look at in the mirror every day the most common complaints i see are in regards to people's jobs
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and careers and guys people just love to complain about their jobs to anyone and everyone but listen
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let's be real if you're 30 fucking years old and you've had 10 to 15 employers up to this point
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and every job is the absolute worst you've ever had chances are guys it's not the job all right you need
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to learn to ask yourself these questions does my job provide me with enough to live a comfortable life
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does my job allow me to cultivate skills for my future is my job a learning experience that pushes
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me to be better in every area am i learning the things that i'll be able to use in my future
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employment opportunities and after you've dwelled on those questions for a bit ask yourself this
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is my job really that bad or am i just an asshole that doesn't want to do the work
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you guys see what i'm getting at here the majority of people complaining about their jobs guys they're
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just fucking lazy and that's the truth these problems don't go away when they find new employment
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because the problem is them and their terrible outlook on everything about their life i mean it
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should be obvious did you try to find a job doing something that you were interested in or did you just
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accept the first available job that doesn't do anything for you and guess what sometimes you have
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to do that to get by and that's reality but it doesn't have to suck forever your job is such a
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huge part of your life that doing something that makes you absolutely miserable guess what it's
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going to make your life miserable too you've got to find out what it is that excites you and what
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interests you and figure out what is needed for you to find employment in those areas too many people
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bounce from basic job to basic job waiting on their time to clock in and out okay and they're complaining
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the whole time while doing literally nothing to improve their conditions and they can't figure
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out why the fuck they're miserable this is common sense guys if you don't want to dedicate the time
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and effort to actually finding something to interest you that's fine but shut the fuck up no one's excited
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to hear you complain ever and i think you probably have all figured this out by now right like you all
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know that people don't really like complainers you don't like complainers so why the fuck are you
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complaining so if you're not going to do anything about your situation accept it know that it's on
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you and shut the fuck up let's be real okay a lot of you guys ask me how i get through my days i mean
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guys i'm doing a lot of stuff a lot of people i'm not gonna sit here and try to brag but get ready for a
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little bit of fucking bragging okay i have a whole bunch of companies i own i've got thousands of people
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i'm responsible for i've got a fucking top-ranked podcast thanks to you guys i've got fucking a
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family to look after i've got all these crazy responsibilities way more so than the average
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entrepreneur i'm responsible for thousands of other entrepreneurs and and their growth and their
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learning i mean dude it just never ends for me but i don't feel like i'm working a single day because
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i'm doing something that is fun for me to do every day i wake up i say to myself man this is going to
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be a great day to be a fucking boss okay in fact dj when he gets to my house every day he texts me
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he's like dude let's have a boss ass day that's our little thing right like i get to be a boss today
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and you get to be a boss too if you decide to be i start working the minute i wake up and most days i
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don't stop until midnight or one in the morning all right and here's what a lot of you guys are going
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to inevitably try and call me out for andy isn't that a contradiction to the other things you said
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i thought you said following your passion and putting in the work was hard and a constant
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struggle look dude life is full of dichotomies and paradoxes if you haven't figured that out by now
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then nothing i'm going to say is going to help you of course work is hard
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i'm not always in the best of moods and things don't go right all the time they go wrong all the
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time but i've come to recognize and appreciate the opportunities i have to test myself i've come to
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love the test days so yeah in that minute it does suck but i'm not going to go around crying and
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whining my entire career because of one day of setbacks i recognize in the long run that these
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are my moments to test myself and really push myself for progress and grow this works in every
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example i've talked about today do i love my wife yes i do do we have arguments from time to time
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rarely but yes we do does it change the fact that i still love her no it doesn't see how easy that is
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to understand that both of these things can exist at the same time what about in our physical lives
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and fitness do i love cardio fuck no in fact i've got a saying that i use around here that if you ever
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see me running you better fucking run too because something bad is coming okay i'll lift weights all day
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long before i go on a run but i still understand that cardio for me is a necessary component to me
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being fit and i'm still going to get it done because at the end of the day i am going to appreciate
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my results from the work that i put in listen guys the key to this is realizing that most of your problems
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are based on perspective if you're generally a miserable person then it shouldn't come as a surprise
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when most aspects of your life are miserable notice the people who complain are always complaining
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about everything the ones who just need a few bucks to get back on their feet doesn't it seem
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like they always need a few bucks to get back on their feet and yet none of these people realize that
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they're the problem do they they are the underlying cause for every negative thing in their life so next
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time you find yourself complaining about an aspect of your life stop and think for a second
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is this really their fault or is it my fault if your relationship is going south take a second to
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figure out what maybe you might have done to cause it if your job sucks ask yourself is it my mentality
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that's making this suck so bad if you hate your body have you done anything to change it once you start
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to realize that you are the factor not a factor the factor in all of this it becomes a lot easier to
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start to make the positive changes that you want in your life maybe you start to put a little more
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into your relationship or maybe it's the opposite and you you know you part ways because you know
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it was a detriment to your happiness and your partner's happiness maybe you throw out the chips and
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the candy and the bullshit and you start working out or maybe you look into night classes to help
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you find and move into a better fitting career for yourself start working on one of these aspects in
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your life and you'll realize they're all connected when you find happiness in one it's going to be
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much easier to see what's wrong in other parts of your life and you'll start to realize what you need
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to do to fix it so instead of being the guy on the corner stool that everyone avoids because he just
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brings you down all the time he's got a negative story about everything he hates his job he hates his wife
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he hates his body it's everybody else's fault instead of being that guy how about this pause
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for one minute before you start to complain and think about whether or not it's you because guys
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I'm going to promise you 99% of the time you're going to find out that it's you and by complaining
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and bitching and moaning and bringing other people down all you're doing is fulfilling a prophecy
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of all the negative things that you don't want in your life and it's going to cycle over and over
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and over again stop complaining start being real start addressing the issues in reality so you can
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build your ideal situation this show is called real af you know why I called it real af it's not
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because my initials are Andy Fursella or real as fuck it's because the truth is realists are
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the people who change the world idealists paint the picture of what the world should look like
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and then get mad when it's not that way realists address the world the way the world really is
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and then work to change it into an ideal situation this is how you should be addressing your life
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take honest inventory look at what you're doing see if it's you and if it is you fucking fix it
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and you're going to be happier more productive more money better looking blah blah blah blah blah blah
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blah blah all the way down the road it's not everyone else guys it's you
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told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till existence