341. Q&AF： Dealing With Yes Men, Using Loans Vs. Using Savings & Asking For Help
Episode Stats
Summary
In this episode of The Realist, we have a Q&A with Andy Fricella. We talk about how to deal with the Yes Man and the Yes Woman in your workplace, and how to handle them.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realist, say goodbye to
00:00:20.800
the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.
00:00:25.560
Guys, today we have Q and AF, that's where you submit the Qs and I give you the AFs.
00:00:31.500
You can submit your questions at, email those in to askandy at andyfricella.com.
00:00:46.840
Then sometimes when you tune in, now if this is your first time, we have multiple formats
00:00:52.140
This is not like most shows where you tune in, it's the same thing every day.
00:00:55.860
We do different things a lot of different times on the show, so you never really know
00:01:03.960
Sometimes we're going to have CTI, which is cruise the internet.
00:01:07.060
That is where we put headlines on the screen, we talk about what actual little truth there
00:01:11.480
is in the headlines, we talk about the fundamental problem at hand, and then we talk about what
00:01:17.360
And we're going to laugh at that shit because it's ridiculous, all right?
00:01:21.080
So there's a little bit of comedy, there's a little bit of fucking knowledge, but there's
00:01:26.620
And then Q and AF lends itself to that because all those problems have to be solved by excellent
00:01:30.980
So if we're not excellent, we can't solve these problems, all right?
00:01:35.820
Real talk is a short little speech, five, 10 minutes, 20 minutes about something I think
00:01:42.500
is important to talk about that we all need to be aware of and execute upon.
00:01:45.620
Then we have full-length podcasts, which is we bring in successful people, interesting
00:01:50.960
people, people with opinions, sometimes they're bad opinions, but we're willing to have those
00:01:55.660
conversations because that's what being human is, okay?
00:01:59.720
And when it comes to the successful guests that we have on the show, the whole point is
00:02:04.460
to bring them on and break them down and to show you how they got where they are because
00:02:09.880
you and I and all of these other people are all the same.
00:02:14.040
It's just what we do that makes the difference.
00:02:16.860
So the goal of this show is to make you better.
00:02:20.080
The goal of this show is to make the world better.
00:02:23.940
And if it resonates with you, if it's something that gives you perspective, if it's something
00:02:28.120
that makes you laugh, if it makes you learn something, if it makes you better, if it helps
00:02:32.220
you grow your business, please share the show, okay?
00:02:34.960
One thing you'll notice about the show is we don't run ads.
00:02:39.720
I can make eight figures a year on the traffic of this show, just running ads.
00:02:43.020
I don't do it because I don't want to corrupt the message.
00:02:47.700
And I want you all to stay, you know, I want to respect your time.
00:02:59.180
So with that being said, let's get into this Q&A.
00:03:10.800
Question number one, Andy, how do you handle the yes man or the yes man employee?
00:03:16.980
And more importantly, can you prevent that from even being a person in your workplace?
00:03:22.400
Look, there's two kinds of people that are highly fucking annoying, okay?
00:03:29.060
There is the person who says and agrees with everything you say.
00:03:32.980
And then there's the person who comes in and thinks that they're the only person that disagrees with you.
00:03:43.180
Yes, and these two people are fucking annoying as shit from an executive point of view or from a leader point of view.
00:03:55.640
And because they are trying to manipulate their position in your eyes, right?
00:04:01.700
They're trying to make themselves look more valuable.
00:04:04.080
They never become valuable because people who are in leadership positions and people who are aware, they understand what both of these people are up to.
00:04:15.040
It's just on a different end of the spectrum, okay?
00:04:17.260
I get people to come up to me all the fucking time and say, Andy, you know what?
00:04:22.980
I'm that guy that disagrees with you because no one disagrees with you and people are afraid to disagree with you.
00:04:33.300
In fact, I analyze every decision I make to the point where I don't even know if I disagree with me or not.
00:04:42.460
I don't need any of you fucking people that think you're like some sort of an aware person going to tell me the shit no one wants to tell me.
00:04:50.480
And if you come to me and you tell me that, I automatically cut you out of my circle, okay?
00:04:55.080
Now, if I think that you're one of these yes people that never tells the truth, I don't cut you out of the circle.
00:05:09.620
I make the moves that I think I can make, and I want honest feedback.
00:05:12.880
And if you are a person who wants to be valuable to a more successful person and you want to endear yourself and actually get in their circle, offer honest feedback.
00:05:25.000
If things are uncomfortable, say they're uncomfortable.
00:05:33.100
Doing the right thing, behaving like an actual adult, not trying to manipulate the situation, is actually how you create value in yourself, okay?
00:05:42.700
Now, those two groups of people, I would say, make up a third of the people in each way.
00:05:49.600
So we have 33% that agree, 33% that think they're the contrarian because they're so fucking intelligent, and they always say the same shit.
00:06:08.820
And when you say that to me, it's irritating as fuck because I have earned all of this, and you have yet to earn your position to even say that.
00:06:20.520
So I like the 33% of the people, like the people in this room or the people in my executive meeting that actually tell me the truth.
00:06:42.240
If you bring me problems, you are fucking nothing to me.
00:06:45.460
If you bring me solutions, and more than one solution, right, a solution with then another solution and maybe even another solution to back that up, now you're valuable.
00:06:57.600
I pay you to fucking come up with solutions and solve problems.
00:07:00.680
I don't pay you just to come report the bad news to me, motherfucker.
00:07:04.480
So if you want to become valuable, understand, tell the fucking truth, say when you agree, say when you disagree, and when you identify a problem, come up with the solution or potential solutions before you even approach me or your leader or your CEO.
00:07:20.540
I can promise you every single CEO that's out there that is worth a fuck operates this way.
00:07:29.820
And if they don't, then you should leave your company and go somewhere else.
00:07:36.420
So, like, I mean, I pay attention to, I do my best to pay attention to your mannerisms and how you do things, right?
00:07:44.280
What happens when yes man and fucking contrarian come up to me and say shit?
00:07:57.400
Do I say, oh, man, they're so fucking valuable?
00:08:10.220
And I say, I say that guy, or if they're meaning well, I'll say that's a good person, but they're very unaware.
00:08:17.200
You also say to them directly when they say some shit that you know, you're like, oh, yeah.
00:08:32.080
Because then they start trying to explain something they know nothing about.
00:08:37.060
Bro, bro, I could promise you if you come up to me and you're like, I'm going to be the guy that tells you what you really.
00:08:41.740
Motherfucker, I've been doing this 23 fucking years.
00:08:47.180
I'm pretty good at my fucking, my little framework that I operate on.
00:09:00.540
Like, and I've noticed, like I said, I do my best to pay attention to how you operate and the things that you do.
00:09:05.620
And I find that when you're talking to a team or you're talking to a meeting, right, and you're trying to get the opinions and take the input from everybody else, you always ask them for their opinion on the matter before you give yours.
00:09:24.460
I mean, these, these, these, these people will mold their opinion around mine.
00:09:27.820
So, so the only way to get honest feedback is to get them to say first, right?
00:09:33.220
He who speaks first loses the negotiation, right?
00:09:41.240
In fact, I had this discussion with Emily last night.
00:09:43.620
She was reading a book on, on negotiation that was basically about not splitting the middle.
00:09:51.420
In my opinion, the truth, the truth of the matter, a great deal is a deal that everybody walks away and says, man, I got treated right there.
00:10:00.800
This idea of trying to get as much as you can and fuck the other guy.
00:10:06.900
And I promise you the motherfucker that wrote that motherfucking book, ain't he, bro, he doesn't make in a year what I make in a fucking week.
00:10:23.240
Do the right thing and let everybody feel good about it.
00:10:26.580
And eventually that all catches up and it pays off.
00:10:35.140
Uh, Andy, I'm starting my own business and I have roughly 50 K saved up in the current financial climate.
00:10:43.280
Would it be wiser to start the business from that savings account or take out a loan or capital for the business while still having the 50 K for emergency?
00:10:58.780
Um, I, I don't, I think that's, I think that's a question of comfort.
00:11:06.500
You know, um, all these banks, when, when we were, when we didn't have any money, they wouldn't give us any money.
00:11:18.080
You know, some of these guys out there on the internet talking about being a billionaire, they owe a billion dollars.
00:11:24.220
When the bank loans you a billion dollars and you go out by a billion dollars of real estate, you're not a billionaire.
00:11:39.720
I don't own any, I don't owe shit on this company.
00:11:48.020
And that's because, and that's also why it's taken 23 fucking years.
00:11:51.960
So it took me a lot longer because I have that.
00:12:01.120
And I was so afraid of like having to owe people money or things going wrong that I never took money from people.
00:12:10.020
I'm just, dude, there was a time where I went to fucking, I went to like fucking, I don't know.
00:12:16.400
Like I went to one every day and I put on a fucking suit and go like suck dick for fucking asking for a chance.
00:12:23.560
And once I got done with that, I'm like, you know what?
00:12:27.300
And this is kind of how I feel about the country right now.
00:12:29.140
And all these motherfuckers who won't stand up and speak.
00:12:35.780
Nobody cheered for me the first fucking 15 years we were in fucking business.
00:12:49.360
Like bro is a fucking loser for 15 fucking years.
00:12:52.080
If you're willing to be a loser for 15 years, maybe you could be a billionaire too.
00:13:00.500
So I personally don't, I am not comfortable with debt that I can't pay right away.
00:13:10.540
Now escalating our company to a $50 billion level, which is what we're going to do.
00:13:15.340
That's probably going to require some fucking money.
00:13:18.120
But the reality is, is I have so much money now I can self-finance.
00:13:26.640
You could definitely go faster by, by, by using other people's money and it makes financial
00:13:32.700
But I would offer you this just like we talked on the, I don't know, a couple of shows ago
00:13:40.020
If you don't really know what you're doing and you borrow money, you're just killing your
00:13:46.640
Most people borrow money and then they go spend it on marketing.
00:13:49.260
They don't even know as fucking that works or not.
00:13:51.980
And, uh, you know, they end up owing whatever the fuck they borrowed or got invested or they
00:13:57.900
This is why there's all these brands out there with these big, uh, valuations with no proven
00:14:04.720
Because all the guys with real money are looking for that home run and they don't care if they
00:14:12.340
There's venture capital fucking, uh, companies that are like, yeah, we'll risk 200 million.
00:14:20.280
So there's a lot of companies that give big money and talk about their valuation that don't
00:14:23.940
have a viable product that actually works a lot.
00:14:27.640
My recommendation would be to build a product that actually works and make the foundation
00:14:32.980
strong and make sure that all those things we talked about on the other episode, um, are
00:14:37.380
there where, you know, there's no holes in the boat and then maybe consider the money.
00:14:44.620
That's, that's what I would, that's how I would put it.
00:14:52.700
So, but that's generally how I move guys are third and final.
00:14:58.100
And there's a lot of, there's a lot of relief knowing you don't owe anybody shit.
00:15:02.100
You know, the reason I can get on here and say the fucking shit that I say and speak freely
00:15:06.640
is because I don't owe anybody fucking anything.
00:15:22.740
I like to believe that I'm a very independent person.
00:15:25.560
Uh, my friends and family, they all know that I typically don't ask for help on most things.
00:15:31.900
Can you give me some tips to maybe change this mindset if it's necessary?
00:15:43.620
I had him at my house, um, with a man who's 11 years older than me and probably 30 times
00:15:57.740
I'm surrounding myself with people that know more than me at every single fucking opportunity.
00:16:06.240
So if I can ask for help, get the fuck over it.
00:16:11.060
If you don't ask for help, you will be broke your whole life.
00:16:13.500
If you don't ask for guidance, you will be broke your whole life.
00:16:16.140
If you don't make an active effort to put knowledge in your brain, you'd be broke your
00:16:23.020
And the cool thing about where we live now and how we live now is that you have people
00:16:27.820
like myself or Ed Milet or one of the fucking whoever, however, any many are that are truly
00:16:34.340
successful, who have built real shit out there teaching people.
00:16:42.620
Like I read about Sam Walton, which is by the way, you should do, you know, I had some
00:16:47.280
Tony Robbins books, which I owe a lot to Tony Robbins.
00:16:51.160
Man, but like these, these, the way the information is taught now, there's no excuse to be a fucking
00:17:00.720
Like you're worried about playing Call of Duty or whatever fuck fantasy bullshit you guys
00:17:04.320
fuck with instead of worrying about what really matters.
00:17:11.060
The fuck it doesn't go get some money and tell me it doesn't matter.
00:17:14.800
The only reason you say it doesn't matter is because you don't fucking have any.
00:17:17.760
Can you talk a little bit about just removing that ego?
00:17:21.640
He says, it's not that I don't want to ask for help.
00:17:37.580
Can you, can you, can you touch a little bit about just like breaking down that ego, that
00:17:42.820
He says, uh, it's not that I don't want to ask for help.
00:17:45.580
I just don't want it to come off from a place of weakness.
00:17:54.840
It's about building yourself into the most, in the best example that you ever have.
00:17:58.780
So that everybody else fucking looks at you and says, Hey, look, look, what's possible.
00:18:03.360
How, how are you going to let you, you looking vulnerable or weak at some point, like keep
00:18:10.880
you from becoming who the fuck you were put here on this planet to become fulfilling your
00:18:15.320
American purpose, your human purpose, becoming a great enough example of what's possible that
00:18:21.580
people around you are inspired to do better and be better and hold a higher standard.
00:18:25.160
You're going to let some like a small little insecurity, bro.
00:18:31.840
All of us are guessing the best guess that we can.
00:18:34.660
The only reason I'm able to offer the advice I offer is cause I fucking, I guess wrong every
00:18:41.940
Every time I guessed right, there was two or three wrong guesses before that.
00:18:44.980
And I'm willing to share that with you to speed your process up.
00:18:50.760
So like, I'm no different than any of you fuckers.
00:18:59.240
You want to become the best example of what you could be in life?
00:19:02.460
Then ask people to fucking know more than you to help.
00:19:13.600
And just like humility, people have a wrong understanding of what ego is.
00:19:20.340
Like, bro, if you don't have a fucking good self, strong belief of yourself, you can't
00:19:28.060
Like these pro athletes and you guys are like, oh yeah, they got a big ego.
00:19:32.200
You know how hard it is to go out in front of a hundred thousand people and fucking do
00:19:35.240
what the fuck you do at a high, at the highest level possible.
00:19:37.580
If you don't think you're the shit, you can't even do it.
00:19:42.860
Like I can't go on the stage if I don't, bro, if I don't think I am the baddest motherfucker
00:19:48.840
on the planet, how the fuck can I go speak in front of a fucking 80,000 fucking people?
00:19:58.080
It's just understanding when to deploy the proper ego and when to pull it back and allow
00:20:04.060
yourself to understand that, you know, it's appropriate here.
00:20:10.240
And sometimes we have to put our ego aside over here, uh, you know, on the shelf for later
00:20:15.200
so that we can download new information that improves our belief in ourself.
00:20:20.400
So then when we pull the ego off the shelf and we need it, it's even stronger and that's
00:20:29.100
And there's too many average motherfuckers that haven't ever done a motherfucking thing
00:20:33.000
in their life, pointing fingers and saying, big ego, uh, to not humble motherfucker.
00:20:44.520
You haven't built shit, but you got a motherfucking opinion about fucking everybody.
00:20:48.320
The only reason you have that opinion is because you ain't never done a motherfucking thing
00:20:55.980
Their awareness is so low that they're going to point their finger at you for everything
00:21:00.680
But listen to me, dude, because I know what the fuck I'm talking about here.
00:21:07.680
The average person at the, at the base level awareness will always point at people who believe
00:21:13.020
in themselves or who have dreams or who, uh, live outside the norm.
00:21:18.820
And they'll point and say, big ego or fucking, it's just like the liberals.
00:21:23.380
When they post, they say racist, it's the same shit, right?
00:21:37.180
You listen to people who you want to be like, guess what happened then?
00:21:49.640
So name a motherfucker out there that can fucking do this.
00:21:54.820
I mean, like, I mean, that, that was the three guys.
00:21:58.400
I'll put that aside and I'll go read four or five books between now and the next fucking
00:22:08.560
Cause like, I mean, I don't know if you guys listening.
00:22:10.620
Understand, but like, you know, Andy does not see these questions.
00:22:13.000
He doesn't, we don't talk about this shit before we start recording.
00:22:18.140
That's why whenever I go speak and get better, put me on the fucking stage in front of fucking
00:22:22.620
how it doesn't matter how many people and they have a Q and a, that's why every motherfucking
00:22:37.780
I'm not, I'm not teaching you things that I think I'm not teaching you things.
00:22:42.700
I guess a lot of people think that like I'm guessing or don't know motherfucker.
00:22:47.220
I look a lot younger than I really am and behave like I'm still fucking 13, but don't let
00:22:59.500
Boom, but I'm, but I'm, but I'm, but I'm, but I'm, but I'm, but I'm, but I'm, but see,
00:23:07.560
But they don't realize like, bro, if you don't, how are you, how am I going to come
00:23:11.160
on this show every motherfucking week and to speak against the most powerful people on
00:23:16.660
the planet and not think I'm the shit in front of millions of people, bro.
00:23:24.520
Then I fucking go sit in the locker room and I take my fucking hat off and I start to learn
00:23:31.080
And then when I come in here, I put the motherfucker on.
00:23:37.560
When it's time to execute, you know, I, I, you, you need to be confident in execution
00:23:49.540
I, I won't say cocky because you don't want to underestimate people, but at the top level
00:23:54.960
confidence to where that you want to fucking walk right on that motherfucking line of cocky
00:24:00.300
and confident when you're at time to execute, you want to be that motherfucker that lives
00:24:05.240
and your fucking soul that you are afraid to let fucking out because you think people will
00:24:10.560
That's who you need to be in execution time and humility time.
00:24:15.460
You need to realize that you don't know fucking shit.
00:24:17.920
And there's people like Elon Musk out here to fucking know everything, right?
00:24:22.000
Who are only fucking 10 years older than me and a million gazillion miles away in a, in
00:24:29.680
Like you have to remember at the, at the humble time that bro, you're just a speck of fucking
00:24:35.820
So like you have to be able to get yourself on both lines, right?
00:24:42.820
But, but, but what I'm saying is you have to push yourself all the way out.
00:24:46.200
You have to push yourself to the limits of confidence and also to the limits of humility
00:24:53.860
You have, if you live on those two polar opposites, when it comes to creating the product that
00:24:59.520
is you, your life, you're going to do really good because you're going to execute good.
00:25:03.820
And you're also going to be, cause you're going to believe in yourself when most people
00:25:08.260
Cause most people are told, don't believe in yourself too much.
00:25:10.520
You don't, don't forget where you fucking came from.
00:25:12.940
Well, where the fuck, I don't want to fucking remember where the fuck I came from a fucker.
00:25:19.100
Now, right now, now when I'm trying to win this fucking game or I'm walking into the
00:25:22.980
boxing ring or I'm walking on a stage, I don't want to remember where the fuck I'm
00:25:27.120
You think, bro, you're just a fat little piece of shit from a gravel road as I'm willing to walk
00:25:40.300
Every professional athlete knows exactly what I'm talking about.
00:25:49.660
He's got to go out or she's got to whatever, got to go out, do what they do at the top
00:25:54.940
level of their ability in front of all kinds of fucking people, half of which want them
00:26:01.580
You, if you don't believe in yourself, how the fuck can you even do that?
00:26:04.980
It's like on a basic certain, like think of like having a fucking surgeon coming in
00:26:10.380
Do you not want him walking in saying, dude, I'm the best surgeon.
00:26:12.760
I'm the best fucking dude in the fucking world.
00:26:14.360
I'm going to fucking make this person better than they ever fucking were.
00:26:21.200
But see, you don't want him crossing that line into cocky.
00:26:23.660
And then not paying attention to what he's doing because he thinks he's so good.
00:26:35.700
Well, I don't know because I don't know shit about surgery.
00:26:38.940
See, that would be a poor decision on your part.
00:26:46.680
If you don't listen to real AF, you can't operate on me, bro.
00:26:52.400
But if you do listen and you like it, share the show.