REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 389. Q&AF： Personal Development For Your Loved Ones, Fixing Culture In An Inherited Business & Responding To A Job Rejection

00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye 0.99

00:00:20.740 to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking 0.99

00:00:24.960 reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. Q and AF is where you submit the questions and we 0.99

00:00:32.660 give the answers and you could submit your questions to askandy at andyfriscilla.com.

00:00:39.080 Thank you, DJ. You're welcome.

00:00:41.340 You look a little slimmer today.

00:00:42.540 Yeah.

00:00:43.020 Just saying.

00:00:43.720 I've been working.

00:00:44.400 Yeah. So Q and AF, all right, Q and AF is what it sounds like. It's questions and answers

00:00:52.320 as fuck. Or maybe it's answers from Andy Priscilla or maybe it's something else that we haven't 0.99

00:00:58.300 told you yet. But anyhow, this is an ode to the old MFCEO project. The MFCEO project, for

00:01:05.180 those of you that don't know, was the number one personal development podcast on iTunes for

00:01:09.880 a very, very, very long time. The goal of this show is to make you better. So when you submit

00:01:16.660 your questions, understand that I know how to help you be better and I will help you be

00:01:22.340 better. So bring me your stuff and let me help you. That's what Q and AF is about. Sometimes

00:01:26.700 when you tune in, we will do CTI. CTI is called Cruise the Internet. That is where we put up

00:01:32.260 headlines on the screen. We talk about what kind of bullshit they are. We talk about what 1.00

00:01:36.720 little truth they may contain. And then we talk about how we collectively can become the

00:01:41.980 solution to these problems that we face in the world. And we do so with a sense of humor.

00:01:46.180 That is very important. A lot of you do not have a sense of humor. And because you do

00:01:51.440 not have a sense of humor, I would ask that you don't listen to the fucking show. Thank 1.00

00:01:54.580 you. Then we have Real Talk. Real Talk is five to 20 minutes of me ranting. If you listen

00:02:00.560 to the MFCEO project, this is the Thursday Thunder of Real AF. Now, when we relaunch the

00:02:07.820 MFCEO project, which is coming down the pipe very soon, we will have Thursday Thunder on

00:02:12.300 that. And Real Talk probably won't exist on this one unless I'm ranting about the

00:02:16.000 government and some conspiracy shit, which I know you guys love. Then we have full 0.83

00:02:20.320 length interview style like everybody else does. If you've ever watched a podcast in

00:02:25.800 the history of Earth, it's the same shit everybody else does. There's a there's a 0.99

00:02:29.580 dude here or a woman here who is kick ass, who's special, who's done some amazing 0.74

00:02:33.860 stuff, who has a great perspective. And then we talk about how they got there. And

00:02:37.860 then we talk about how you can get there, too. OK, the overall arching theme of this

00:02:41.580 show is personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. If you look around at what's going

00:02:47.620 on in the world and you think it's completely fucked up like most of us do, you have to 0.96

00:02:52.380 come to the realization that is up to us as the individuals to be the solution. That means 0.88

00:02:58.700 we must raise our standards. That means we must pull people along with us. That means we

00:03:03.420 must put good things in our body and good things in our mind, because without us raising

00:03:08.020 our standards, there can be no collective solution. So that's what this show is about.

00:03:13.520 Now. We have Q&A F and I have a very special guest, guest question reader slash contributor.

00:03:24.880 And I'll let you figure out who it is. What's up, bro?

00:03:28.140 It is very good to be here. It is fucking good for you to be here. 0.96

00:03:31.240 It's it's surreal a little bit. And a lot has happened since the last time I saw you. In fact, 0.97

00:03:36.240 the last time I saw you was when my whole ordeal began. Yeah. Which we may get into a little bit.

00:03:41.740 We're going to get into that. Bro, it's been like June 22nd was the last time I saw you.

00:03:45.560 Yeah. Yeah. In person. And what happened between June 22nd and today?

00:03:50.980 Well, after recording a real AF with you, I then went to, oh, I forget what the name of the place

00:03:57.420 is Bar Louie. And I had some chicken wings, I think. And then I went to Fuddruckers in Kansas City

00:04:05.440 and had a hamburger. And then between Kansas City and back home to Manhattan, Kansas, I experienced

00:04:10.600 the most excruciating pain that I've ever experienced in my life. I was taken to the ER.

00:04:15.580 They found out that it was pancreatitis. It flared up and then went away. And in the process of them

00:04:23.540 running tests on me, they discovered that something was up with my intestine, my small intestine and

00:04:31.460 my liver. And I was diagnosed about a week later with neuroendocrine cancer. And when that happened,

00:04:38.000 uh, I was 172 pounds. I am currently clocking in at 150, which is just three, three, uh, three pounds

00:04:46.840 more than I was in high school. So, uh, I am also three, three or four pounds more than you were at your

00:04:52.180 lowest weight. Yeah. Yeah. So you're moving the right way. Yeah. But, um, I am happy to say that

00:04:59.320 literally today on the day that, that, uh, yeah, today after three surgeries and, uh, five months that I

00:05:06.400 wouldn't wish on anybody, uh, today I got the news that, uh, from the results of my PET scan,

00:05:12.100 it has confirmed I am officially cancer-free. Bro. That's fucking awesome. Yeah.

00:05:20.260 I, uh, I thought I was going to. No, man, it's been a. No, it's. I almost said I hope I was going

00:05:28.520 to warn people that I was going to get emotional. Listen, we've all been worried about you. Yeah.

00:05:32.060 Thanks, man. Um, it's a lot. Yeah. And I'm, I'm glad that 250 pound guy was the first guy to cry

00:05:40.920 or whatever you are these days, 180 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal. Does it really 0.56

00:05:46.700 matter? It is twisted steel and sex appeal. Uh, look, bro, we've all been super worried about

00:05:51.560 you this whole time and, um, to have you sitting here, um, it's, it's a little bit more special.

00:05:59.520 Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I appreciate it, man. It's, um, I've definitely shed tears and I

00:06:03.820 got to tell you, one of the things that really helped me a lot was, uh, you know, early on you

00:06:09.140 just being like, dude, you're not going to die from this. And you knew I wasn't because you said

00:06:14.100 we got work to do. And I agree. We got work to do. There's, uh, a crazy culture and it's crazy

00:06:20.180 stuff going on. And, um, just completely aside from the political stuff, there's so many people who

00:06:26.660 have bought into this, this mentality of mediocrity and this mentality of victim in a hood.

00:06:32.520 And when we were doing MFCO project, um, you and I both know like what made it so valuable to us

00:06:39.460 was the stories and the, and the things, the things that we learned from people, um, about how it

00:06:45.520 changed their life, about how it raised their standards, how they got to work. I mean, I could,

00:06:50.240 I could go on and on, but I'll tell you just one cool, really awesome thing that is just totally

00:06:55.420 God and totally the way that God used MFCO project is that there was a, there was a, a kid

00:07:01.820 who literally, uh, started listening to the MFCO project at 13. It taught, he, he listened

00:07:08.340 to every single episode. Um, and that kid now he lives in Manhattan. He moved to Manhattan

00:07:15.280 to help me, um, which is some of my stuff. And he literally runs a six figure marketing agency.

00:07:23.520 And he literally says MFCO made him who, I mean, he had great parents, but he said MFCO made him

00:07:28.300 who he is and gave him all the, uh, the tools to succeed. And bro, we did that. And so, yeah, I,

00:07:35.580 you just, but you telling me that and saying there's still more work to be done. Like that was,

00:07:40.620 dude, we haven't even started and what's going on in the world, you know, for us to, to bring that

00:07:46.260 show back to reality. Um, you know, I love this show. It's fun. It's, you know, when we were doing

00:07:52.020 the MFCO project together, you know, I always hated the fact that I couldn't be who I really was

00:07:57.700 because there were so many people listening and we were at the, people think the height of cancel

00:08:01.720 culture was recently. It was actually not, it was, it was back when we were talking about these

00:08:08.080 things and, you know, people will find out, you know, that I smoke fucking weed or some shit. 1.00

00:08:12.980 And they're like, Oh my God, dude, you're the biggest piece of shit. It's like, dude, look, 1.00

00:08:16.600 so I'm happy to do this other show because it gives people an idea of that there's more to me

00:08:21.500 than just the skillset. Um, but what I'm excited about the most is that I think culture is ready

00:08:29.000 now for the message that we were bringing for so long. Absolutely. You know, when we were,

00:08:33.680 when we were doing the MFCO project, um, you know, the culture was still moving towards the victim

00:08:42.440 culture and towards the take it easy culture and towards, uh, the political correct culture and

00:08:49.600 towards mediocrity, as you mentioned. And now we're moving into a new phase where people realize

00:08:56.880 how damaging that cultural, uh, mentality is and where it came from that is not organically in

00:09:04.880 American culture. I believe that what we're about to do will be far more impactful and far more

00:09:10.560 important than anything you and I have ever fucking done. I agree. I agree, bro. And, and honestly, 0.84

00:09:15.720 and, and for those of you who are wondering like, who is this idiot that's talking right here? 0.97

00:09:20.140 Cause I do think there are some new people. My name is Blond Kohler. Good to meet you. 0.99

00:09:23.580 Was Andy's co-host for what was it? Four years, five years, uh, on the MFCO project.

00:09:28.500 No, an MFCO project for you guys that don't know, we were number one on iTunes, number one

00:09:33.240 for 19 months straight. That was uninterrupted. Nobody's ever done that before. Right. Okay.

00:09:37.920 And Vaughn was a big part. Vaughn produced that show. Uh, Vaughn was my co-host and I am super excited.

00:09:43.980 I mean, we're going to continue doing real AF cause that's, that's a daily show that needs to be

00:09:47.720 kind of in the place of your news. Um, but this project that we're going to do now, I'm,

00:09:53.060 I am fucking pumped, uh, for the impact that it's going to, it's going to have on people.

00:09:57.740 Me too. And I, and I think one of the things that I, I, I want to really emphasize that I think is 0.95

00:10:02.020 one of the reasons why people resonated so much with our original show is, you know, neither you

00:10:09.120 and I are perfect people, but I think that what we are is real and you gave people the real, um,

00:10:16.500 you know, what it takes to really succeed. Um, personal development wise, entrepreneurship wise,

00:10:22.840 you didn't, uh, soft coat anything. You didn't sugarcoat anything. You told them exactly what

00:10:29.080 it takes to succeed as a person and to, and to build a business that's six, seven, eight, nine figures.

00:10:34.500 And for people who have been, uh, you know, long time listeners at MFCO, you all know, like faith is

00:10:40.620 really important to me. Like Jesus is really important to me, but what I'd like to think at

00:10:45.840 least is that like, I have no delusions about my perfection. I have no delusions about my virtue.

00:10:54.620 Like even going through cancer, you'd like to go through something and go like, Oh, I became a saint

00:10:58.980 through this. I became super holy. When I was like experiencing just mind numbing fatigue and pain

00:11:06.640 and GI issues. Let me tell you something. I now know what it feels like to have a blow torch in

00:11:11.760 your anus. Okay. Cause I had so many that happens to me too, though, but it's only after I eat the 1.00

00:11:16.760 jalapenos. I love jalapenos, but they don't fucking love me back, bro. I had so many gastrointestinal 0.98

00:11:22.880 issues after they cut out two, uh, feet of my intestine. Uh, and it was rough and I'm, I'm currently

00:11:29.640 I'm on, I'm like eight Imodium a day and eight, it manages it. It's fine. But the point I'm trying to

00:11:35.200 make is like, when I went through that time and I told you some of this, like, I just felt like a

00:11:39.720 fraud because I was so tired and so beat. I didn't even have, I didn't even have the energy to pray.

00:11:44.500 I didn't have the energy to read the Bible. I didn't have, I didn't even think I was particularly

00:11:47.900 kind with my wife and kids. And so it kind of exposed me as a fraud, you know, but it, but it

00:11:53.100 was important because it brought me low. And I'm like, you know what? I'm not as great a guy as I think

00:11:57.460 I am. And that knowledge and that, uh, that, that self-awareness and going, okay, you can get

00:12:04.300 better and it's humiliating. And, and what I like to tell people who, who hopefully will listen to

00:12:09.480 the show is that when you listen, you're going to hear, you're going to hear the real truth about

00:12:16.040 entrepreneurship and personal development. And hopefully a little bit for me, you're going to

00:12:19.280 hear, hear just an authentic guy saying, Hey, I'm trying to, I'm trying to be the best follower of

00:12:23.500 Jesus. I'm trying to be the best, um, man of God that I can, but I'm like, I'm anywhere near

00:12:30.000 perfect. And I, hopefully that will encourage people, you know, I think it should. I think

00:12:33.920 everybody feels that way. You know, I think, I think we live in a culture where everybody feels

00:12:38.320 like they're a fraud. Everybody feels like they're not, you know, we're comparing ourselves

00:12:42.900 to unrealistic ideals on the internet all day long, whether that be, um, you know, economically

00:12:48.320 or, or mental or good goodness of a human or your physical self or all of these things. And, um,

00:12:55.880 we live in a very fake world that only shows the end result. And a lot of times that end results,

00:13:01.760 not even fucking real. And we're comparing ourselves against a standard that isn't real. 0.96

00:13:06.380 And that's one of the biggest reasons that we started with the MF CEO project was because we have

00:13:11.660 a lot of these kids and, and, you know, who, who believe the online gurus who were like, Oh dude,

00:13:18.360 in 12 months, I went from this to that. And they're standing in front of a car and they're selling them

00:13:23.180 some bullshit. And, you know, you and I identified as we were writing the first book together that 0.99

00:13:29.720 funny enough, never even got published because it became, it became the MF CEO project. It became a

00:13:35.560 live book. And, um, we realized that like, there's a whole generation of people out there, uh, who

00:13:42.540 don't understand what it takes to actually win. And that I can tell you from doing this show,

00:13:49.580 that generation is only bigger now, right? As many of the people that we've helped over the course of

00:13:58.500 the time doing that content, there's far more now that are hungry for it because people are

00:14:05.540 becoming, uh, aware that they aren't being taught the skills in school. And not only are they not

00:14:12.960 being taught the skills in school, the skills they are taught in school are a lot of times a liability

00:14:18.200 of their entire lives. And people are becoming aware to that fact. And so I think the show really

00:14:23.380 is going to serve, uh, multiple purposes. Uh, one of which making people realize that we're all

00:14:30.480 fucking regular people that just have to do X, Y, and Z to get where we want to go. 0.90

00:14:38.060 And you know, the powers that be that rule this earth, cause there are rulers of this earth. 0.99

00:14:43.060 They don't come out and say, Hey, we're the rulers of this earth, but there is them. And there is us

00:14:47.260 and they do not want us smart. They do not want us successful. They do not want us winning.

00:14:52.820 They want us broke. They want us unhealthy. They want us undereducated. They want us underperforming.

00:14:57.600 And that's a reality that everybody is starting to wake up to. And so I am super excited, uh, to start

00:15:06.940 diving back into that style of content, because I think that's the real content that's going to help 0.99

00:15:13.500 people change their shit. Um, which, which we need, we need it culturally, you know, we need it 0.96

00:15:21.080 individually and we need it, uh, to happen fast. And so, dude, I'm, I am super fucking happy, um,

00:15:29.080 that you didn't fucking die because I couldn't do that shit without you, dude. And, um, yeah, 0.99

00:15:35.940 you know, it's, it's, um, it's needed. People need Von Kohler, bro. You have to remember that.

00:15:41.920 Thank you.

00:15:42.240 So let's get on with this show. All right. We got some Q and A. Yes. Okay. So boy, I've been,

00:15:50.520 I've been out of the saddle for a while. I'm not sure I can do this. That's all right.

00:15:54.040 And, uh, big Reggie, he sets the standard pretty high, right? He's got, he's always got some good

00:15:59.480 ones for us. Yeah. All right. Well, here's the first one, which kind of makes me laugh, but,

00:16:03.220 uh, Andy, what's the best way to give someone you love a kick in the ass? Here's a little bit 0.99

00:16:09.460 more of the elaboration of the question. My husband and I have been listening to you for

00:16:13.700 the past five years. I've done 75 hard, made huge improvements in my life. My husband,

00:16:18.500 on the other hand, never seems to take action. What can I do to get him to start working to

00:16:23.460 improve his own life? Man, it's a difficult situation. We do get that question quite a bit

00:16:29.240 and it comes from both men and women. Um, you know, I think anybody who started to live, uh,

00:16:37.560 the live hard program, the 75 hard program. If you guys are unfamiliar, it's a free program

00:16:42.140 to help develop mental toughness. You can, uh, listen to that episode 208. You'll get the

00:16:46.900 whole program for free. Most of the time to get people to start. And I understand this more

00:16:54.460 than anybody, dude. Like this is something that drives me fucking insane. And a lot of people 0.97

00:17:00.980 mistake, and you know, this better than anybody. And these guys in here do as well. A lot of people

00:17:05.400 mistake my tone and my passion or anger. And sometimes it is anger because I am so tired

00:17:14.780 of people who just refuse to realize that they have this ability inside of them. When I know damn 0.98

00:17:22.780 well that I am just a regular motherfucker, just like anybody listening. And I see what can be done 0.99

00:17:28.620 with simple transitions of perspective in your life. And so this is a difficult one to deal with

00:17:35.140 because it can be incredibly frustrating, especially, and I'm lucky enough to not have

00:17:39.700 that issue with anybody around me. All right. Uh, people can't even exist around me without

00:17:44.440 living to a standard like that. I just won't fuck with them. Um, but when it comes to these 1.00

00:17:50.780 scenarios, you know, people either will, or they won't. And this is an unfortunate truth

00:17:55.160 of reality. The best way that you can get people to come along with you on the journey is to go

00:18:01.080 along on the journey alone and let them see how much better you get. Let them see how much more

00:18:07.160 successful you are. Let them see how much more happy you are. And eventually those people will

00:18:12.700 start to ask you questions. It's no different than when I started my business, uh, versus now,

00:18:18.640 you know, 23 years ago when I started my business, the, the, the conversations were a lot different.

00:18:23.960 They were more like, dude, what are you doing? Like, you really think that's going to work

00:18:29.100 or, you know, man, I think you'd be better off just getting a real job, dude. Like,

00:18:33.620 like this is kind of a fantasy, like this is really, isn't going to work. And then as we started to go,

00:18:38.740 you know, it was more like, Oh, well, Andy thinks he's too good for us because I wasn't out at the

00:18:43.900 bars every Friday, Saturday, Sunday night. Uh, and I was instead working, you know, and if that makes

00:18:50.000 me too good for anybody, then you're fucking right. I'm too good for you. Okay. That's not my fault. 0.94

00:18:54.640 I want to be better. And it's not yours either. You shouldn't harbor guilt for wanting to improve

00:19:00.040 your own existence on this planet. And the harsh reality of this is that you cannot force anybody

00:19:07.300 to go on that journey with you. That is a very, it is an impossible task because that the, the,

00:19:14.380 the, the path is too hard. So you have to want it for yourself. If the person doesn't want it for

00:19:21.600 themselves, they won't go down the path because the path is too fucking hard. So the best way that 0.81

00:19:29.120 I found to inspire people is not ironically by getting on this microphone and yelling at them 0.99

00:19:36.080 when I really started changing people's fucking lives. And when people really started changing around 0.92

00:19:40.860 me was when I figured out to not be a fat fuck anymore. When I figured out to be a better human, 0.99

00:19:47.260 when I stopped drinking hard alcohol back in 2018, because it was making me fucked up in the head 0.89

00:19:52.560 and making me become a person that I didn't want to be. I made those changes. My life improved.

00:19:57.700 Other people around me decided to follow that standard and that's improved my life tremendously. 0.98

00:20:03.640 But I'd be lying to you if I said that every single person I was close to made that fucking journey. 0.98

00:20:09.040 So that's a reality. And I don't really want to sit here and say, well, you know, 0.98

00:20:15.640 you might have to consider leaving someone or this or that, but I can tell you this,

00:20:20.500 that life is extremely, extremely difficult when you have people supporting you. And when you have

00:20:29.880 people not supporting you and not along on the same path, it makes it even more difficult.

00:20:35.240 And so this is a very difficult thing for people to deal with when it's something like a marriage

00:20:40.280 or, you know, uh, someone in your family or someone that you really care about.

00:20:44.860 My suggestion is to love yourself enough to live at the highest standard that you need to live at,

00:20:51.520 to be happy. And the people that come along, come along. And the people that don't,

00:20:55.420 you make changes in your life. And, um, that's the only way I know to answer it.

00:21:00.800 Yeah. I, knowing you, I'm not surprised that you said kind of lead by example,

00:21:04.780 uh, lead from the front. I think implicit in her question is, I think she's assuming

00:21:09.600 that there are these hard conversations that she can have with her husband. Uh, would you say

00:21:15.540 to her, no, you can't really, or no, I think those are worth having. Okay. So how talk,

00:21:20.540 talk through kind of what that would look like. Look, I'll, instead of me giving you how I would say

00:21:25.300 it, here's how I would look at it. Okay. Look, bro.

00:21:30.800 How would you treat your best friend? Okay. This is a big problem for most people.

00:21:38.080 However, you would treat your best friend is how you should treat yourself. First of all. Okay. Like

00:21:44.000 you said in the beginning of the show, you, you, you discover some holes in your game.

00:21:48.540 All right. You were honest enough with yourself to say, Hey, these are some holes in my game

00:21:53.120 and I have to address those holes now. So let's start there. Let's start with how we address ourselves.

00:22:00.180 Because most people do not treat themselves as a good friend. They harp on the, on the negatives.

00:22:07.200 They feel fraudulent. You know, when things are bad for them, they, they automatically turn to the

00:22:13.180 external world and then they get bitter because they expect everybody else to come in and give them

00:22:18.440 a pep talk. And listen, guys, everybody else is busy with their own shit. You can't take that personal. 1.00

00:22:24.260 And if you constantly rely on other people to pick you up or pull you out of the dark place, 0.99

00:22:30.180 you're going to be in the dark place for your entire fucking lives. So you have to first understand 0.97

00:22:37.260 that you are not entitled to anybody coming along and pulling you through the shit. You are going to 0.99

00:22:43.300 have to get up, wipe the shit off of you and start fucking crawling before you walk. And then when you 1.00

00:22:49.220 start walking, you can get to a jog. And then when you start jogging, you can get to a run. But

00:22:54.380 these people that you are mad at for not being there as quote unquote friends are not the problem. 1.00

00:23:01.200 You're the fucking problem. That's the first thing to understand. It sounds like this person has 1.00

00:23:05.580 understood that. The second thing to understand is that how you would treat yourself in those dark

00:23:12.060 times is how you should treat others in dark times. We live in this world where there's too much

00:23:17.100 fake kindness. There's too much validation of victimhood and there's too much, you know,

00:23:25.300 not telling the truth to be completely honest. And how I would handle this situation would be to tell

00:23:31.880 them the actual truth of how it makes you feel that they are not trying to improve or be better

00:23:38.380 when you yourself are putting in all of this effort. Because if they even give one fuck about you 0.98

00:23:44.920 and you explain it that way in a truthful manner, they are going to understand that it's important 0.99

00:23:49.740 for them to raise their motherfucking standard or you will probably be somewhere else. That's 0.98

00:23:54.620 reality. So I think the truth always wins. I think it's important to communicate directly

00:24:00.400 and as painful as it might be for someone to hear that, isn't that how a good friend would treat

00:24:06.120 somebody? Because I'm going to tell you this, bro. You're one of my best friends in the world.

00:24:10.500 There's been a number of times where I say, Hey, you're full of shit. Absolutely. Okay. And are 1.00

00:24:15.540 you better or worse because of it? Okay. And there's better. Yeah. By the way, there's been

00:24:19.620 times when that role has been reversed. Okay. That's what good friends do. They tell you when

00:24:24.600 you're fucking up and they tell you to get back on the path. And so if we all treated ourselves like 0.98

00:24:29.500 our own best friend, we could hold ourselves accountable in a better way. But instead we live in

00:24:35.140 this world where everybody's acting like everybody else owes you some sort of attention or, you know,

00:24:40.940 I see these posts on Instagram all the time, bro. You know, you know who your real friends are

00:24:45.800 whenever you're fucking down and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, bro. You're just 0.99

00:24:49.860 being a pussy. Okay. Um, everybody else has their own life going on. Everybody else has their own 1.00

00:24:56.040 struggles. Everybody else. And there's very few people that, uh, don't. So you have to understand

00:25:03.320 that. Like it's up to us to take responsibility for our own physical mental wellbeing. And that's

00:25:09.640 going to require some tough conversations with self. And I see this, this, like, there's some

00:25:15.920 people out there that I really do like as people who consistently propagate and market to the victim

00:25:24.520 culture for a dollar. And that's frustrating, dude. And I think if you're, you know, we all have to

00:25:31.400 understand that there is no nobility in being a victim. There is no nobility in telling yourself

00:25:36.840 lies. There is no nobility in telling your friends and loved ones lies or letting them slide on what

00:25:43.340 could be a much better life for them. And so I think having those hard conversations is absolutely

00:25:49.040 necessary, but I don't think there's a specific thing to say. You know, it's, these are tough things,

00:25:55.200 uh, that we need to work through as people, um, realizing that the culture of America right now

00:26:02.920 is very weak and it's very, it's very victimized. And people have to understand that if we're going

00:26:08.120 to get past that as a culture, these tough conversations are things that need to happen.

00:26:13.080 And, um, but you could have a hundred million tough conversations, but if you're not living that

00:26:18.860 standard, they won't listen. So you have to have it qualify with the standard you're living before you

00:26:23.500 have the conversation. Absolutely. Um, just that whole idea of there's always someone else who's

00:26:29.660 struggling with something too. And I remember when I first got diagnosed with cancer, it stuck with me

00:26:33.720 that you said, bro, fight this, but don't be defined by this. Yeah. And you said, I, you told me I've

00:26:39.240 seen people I know, right. Don't become a victim. And I, and you said to me, I've seen people almost

00:26:45.120 become proud of the fact that they had a cancer and then they make it their identity. And it's almost

00:26:51.780 like they, for that reason, they keep on getting sick. Let me, let me ask you something, dude. If

00:26:56.920 you truly believe in the law of attraction, which is scientifically real, like if you go into the

00:27:01.480 quantum physics studies that have been done around intent, around what we believe to be true, actually

00:27:06.740 we create. If you have had cancer and you put four times cancer survivor in your fucking bio, 0.98

00:27:13.800 do you think you're more likely to manifest that again or less likely? 0.99

00:27:17.540 Oh, I definitely think our minds are powerful for sure. I'm just saying, no question. I believe

00:27:22.280 that if you make something, your identity being a victim of any sort, you, you, you tend to create

00:27:30.080 the, the, the repeating of the process that manifests back over and over and over again.

00:27:34.180 Absolutely. And I think it's very important for people to be aware of their own identities that

00:27:37.940 they create because victimhood has been rewarded through attention for so long now. So like when you

00:27:44.540 are constantly on Instagram and you're talking about, and I'm not talking about you, I'm talking

00:27:48.460 about anybody, right. And you're talking about all your hardships over and over and over and over

00:27:52.240 again, because people are clapping and liking and this and that. First of all, those people really

00:27:57.720 are kind of like, if I'm being honest, most of them are giving you likes and claps because they feel

00:28:03.200 like they should. And they're probably fucking tired of you complaining. That's the reality. 0.95

00:28:08.100 Definitely. Okay. So understand that. First of all, second of all, if you truly care about being

00:28:13.420 healthier and you truly care about being better, you have to think better and you cannot make your

00:28:18.260 identity being sick or being broke or being fat or being anything. You, you are not any of those

00:28:25.880 things. Those are things that you create in life. And so we have to become aware of our own identities

00:28:31.620 that we create through our own labeling. And the reason that I was so adamant about telling you that

00:28:35.880 is because I believe that with my heart. And I believe that when people do get sick,

00:28:41.160 whether it be cancer or something else, a lot of people identify with that as their,

00:28:45.620 you know, their, their story of overcoming, but then they unintentionally manifest it over and

00:28:52.960 over and over again, which keeps them sick or whatever they're sick of, right. Or broke or whatever

00:28:58.680 situation they identify with. Right. So yeah, dude, I think, I think it's a big deal.

00:29:05.880 To not label yourself in those ways. Absolutely.

00:29:08.260 If you're going to label yourself something, make sure you label yourself something awesome.

00:29:11.340 You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Yeah.

00:29:13.020 I mean, it's, it's just the, the lesson cannot be lost. You have to under every single person

00:29:18.000 needs to understand no matter how much you are suffering, the world will always be bigger

00:29:24.960 than your pain. Like it just always will, no matter what you're facing, there's always a larger

00:29:30.660 world, a larger universe and people who are struggling with their own stuff.

00:29:34.100 So you cannot reduce your entire existence down to your pain and your own suffering.

00:29:38.940 So good stuff. All right. So second question, Andy, my father owns a restaurant and eventually

00:29:45.460 wants me to take it over. The issue is he's a drunk and has very negatively affected our family

00:29:51.440 and the impression people have of the business. He's self-centered, egotistical,

00:29:55.360 and doesn't care about the employees or customers. I try to take initiative and change things to help

00:29:59.960 the business, but his ego usually gets in the way and nothing gets fixed. I'm at a crossroads.

00:30:06.040 Do I start my own venture or do I inherit the business and fix the issues? I see once it's

00:30:12.060 completely mine, any advice would be appreciated. I'm really actually fascinated to hear what you

00:30:17.160 have to say.

00:30:17.800 Well, look, either one of those paths is going to be extremely difficult. So that's the first

00:30:23.460 thing to understand. A lot of times when people ask these kinds of questions, they're asking for

00:30:28.220 the solution that it's easier. Both of those are going to be difficult because starting your own thing

00:30:34.120 is going to be difficult. Okay. But also taking over a stigmatized location of a business that's not,

00:30:40.480 that has a bad reputation is difficult as well. I've actually done that. I have absorbed companies

00:30:46.200 that had terrible reputations. And in hindsight, there was pluses and minuses. And I often say

00:30:52.880 we would have been better off opening our own, but the truth of the matter is because of the nature of

00:30:59.680 where we were at that time, it would have never worked. So I'm very fortunate that we were able

00:31:03.820 to take over that. So I'm going to not address the starting the new thing because that's its own

00:31:11.180 thing. I'm going to address how would you handle it if you got to get the business that's all your

00:31:17.460 own. So changing a culture and a reputation of a, of a failing or what I call stigmatized business,

00:31:24.720 meaning it has a reputation that is negative. And you really like in real estate, they call

00:31:29.080 stigmatized locations, like places that have a reputation for being haunted or maybe a murder

00:31:34.580 happened there or something bad, right? They have a hard time selling it. This is how you should think

00:31:39.260 about your restaurant right now. Um, it's got a reputation now, how bad the reputation is.

00:31:44.760 I'm assuming it's not that bad because you're still open and you've just went through this,

00:31:48.960 this huge ordeal with the society that we live in COVID lockdowns and you're still kicking it.

00:31:55.320 So it can't be maybe as bad as what this person's saying. Uh, this might be, there might be some

00:32:00.680 personal bias here, right? Yeah. And I think there's emotion in this. Yeah. I'm upset with my dad

00:32:05.120 because my dad is a fucking shitty dad and he drinks too much and he's an asshole. Sometimes 1.00

00:32:09.380 that's how I, how I'm hearing the question. And so let's minimize that. Let's take that off the

00:32:15.300 table. That's your personal belief. That doesn't mean that the restaurant has the same opinion of

00:32:20.560 your dad or that the customers feel that way about the restaurant could be, but it doesn't mean it for

00:32:26.300 sure. So if you, and by the way, I would say this too, if your dad's built a successful restaurant

00:32:33.300 for many years and you just think he's an asshole and doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, 1.00

00:32:37.180 it could very well be that you're an idiot. Okay. I thought I knew. That's why I was fascinated to 1.00

00:32:42.000 hear what you were going to say. Okay. Look, I can tell you this, dude, my dad's 77 fucking years

00:32:47.460 old and there's been a lot of shit that he told me that I was like, dad, you're full of shit. 1.00

00:32:52.460 And you want to know how many times he was wrong? Fucking zero. Every time I didn't listen to him, 1.00

00:32:58.020 I fucking lost every motherfucking time. Okay. And there's been times, years even where I'm like, 0.99

00:33:05.020 yeah, he doesn't really, he's out of touch or he's this or that. That was my own shit. That was my 1.00

00:33:11.680 own ego thinking I knew better. Well, you have to have a pretty big ego. This is why like when we

00:33:16.500 bring up Donald Trump and people like, Oh, Trump's so fucking stupid, blah, blah, blah. Well, is he? 1.00

00:33:21.400 Cause I think he's like 76 years old. He's run, he's made multiple billions of dollars. He's

00:33:28.200 negotiated some of the most incredible, like how much smarter is someone who's 77 than someone who's

00:33:34.600 43? They have twice as much life. They're going to know some shit you don't. So maybe give your dad

00:33:40.640 a little bit of credit for that. Maybe he knows some things that you don't know. Now, with that being

00:33:45.840 said, I'm going to say that the culture is fucked at this place. How would you turn it around? Well, 0.99

00:33:50.800 you turn it around one person at a time. You start to go in, you start to, you know,

00:33:55.740 lead by example, like this person says they're doing, uh, you know, work really hard, set a high

00:34:01.300 standard for individual performance. All culture change starts with the individual. That's why the

00:34:06.660 saying, the personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion is so important for you to understand

00:34:10.960 because cultural change starts with the individual change. And when the individual change,

00:34:15.500 they start to raise their standards. They start to get better. They start to work harder. They start to

00:34:19.380 stand for better things. Other people notice, and it gives you credibility because you're

00:34:23.940 speaking and leading from a place of literal performance and high standards that gives you

00:34:29.500 credibility. So the first step is be fucking great yourself. Okay. The second step kind of goes back to 0.99

00:34:36.580 the first question. You're going to naturally organically have some people in that organization,

00:34:41.000 in that restaurant that are going to pick up the pace because you're picking up the pace.

00:34:44.880 They're going to realize that things are probably going to change when you get into control and they

00:34:50.400 want to be on the same page. Those people are your core people. Those are the people you want to pull

00:34:55.120 in close and say, Hey guys, my goal for this restaurant is to be the best experience, uh, the

00:35:02.660 best food, uh, you know, affordable prices. I want it to have whatever you want it to have. And you have a

00:35:08.340 little meeting with those people and get them on the same page. And for us to do this, this is how we're

00:35:13.400 going to have to work. We're going to have to do this and this and this and this and this. And by

00:35:17.060 the way, you don't have to have, uh, awarded authority to do what I'm talking about. This can

00:35:22.780 be done wherever you are in any company at any time. If you want to change the culture, you start

00:35:27.980 to raise your standard, you become the leader, and then you pull people up, you make a plan, you go

00:35:32.560 execute a plan as a team within the team. All right. This is how the culture starts to change.

00:35:38.040 Now, how I would do it if I were this person is I would do that and get that to a point where you've

00:35:45.560 got, you know, 30% of the staff row in the same direction you're rowing. Okay. And then I would

00:35:52.240 go to my dad and I would say, dad, it's time for me to take over. And I would say me and Steve and

00:35:57.860 Susie and fucking Bob, we all, we're going to do this. And you know, you wanted me to take this over. 0.98

00:36:04.500 I'm ready to take it over. I got the team ready to go. And I would have, I would try to eliminate

00:36:09.300 any overlap because what's going to happen is if your dad is truly the way that he's being described

00:36:15.280 is he's going to see that as a threat and come in and try to fuck it up for you guys. 0.98

00:36:19.560 So you have to figure out a way to almost strategically take this shit over in a positive 0.99

00:36:25.100 way. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Uh, what I was going to say is like, I don't want to minimize 0.99

00:36:29.980 like he's obviously frustrated with his dad because of his dad's alcohol. What do people do?

00:36:34.480 When they're frustrated, they exaggerate. Right. But, but I think, and I, and I don't want

00:36:38.160 to minimize, I get it. You know, I know people who have adult, you know, uh, their, their parents

00:36:44.140 are alcoholics. I know that the pain and the, the, the difficulty that is, but my question

00:36:48.960 is like how it's one thing to, to express this, this way to us in a question, how does he

00:36:56.720 relate to his dad? Because the one thing I would say is like, you know, you still got to

00:37:01.060 influence your dad. So if you're, if he's a, if he's treating his dad like a drunk, if

00:37:04.820 he's treating him, like he's really annoying, like he's not going to be receptive. And, and

00:37:09.280 like you, to your point, like his dad obviously built a successful restaurant. So why not go

00:37:14.660 to your dad and be like, Hey dad, dude, you, you built something truly amazing. Wouldn't

00:37:19.940 you want the final kind of resolution to your, all your hard work to be the legacy of you pass

00:37:26.720 this onto me and I keep it running really nice. Like don't, don't dog on your dad, praise

00:37:32.020 him for what he's done well. And, and just make it like, pass it over onto me so that

00:37:36.500 I can, I can take, you know, carry on your legacy. You know what I'm saying?

00:37:40.180 Let's flip the script. There's got to be a little razzle dazzle. 0.99

00:37:42.460 Let's flip the script here. What if the dad who built this amazing business is pissed off

00:37:49.580 because the son thinks he can do it better and is giving him zero credit for what he's built.

00:37:53.660 Right. Do you think that creates a positive relationship? Do you think that creates a

00:37:58.400 situation where the person who paid all the motherfucking dues from the first day of fucking 0.98

00:38:03.220 open wants to hand it off to you? You're insane, dude. You have to give the credit. You have to, 1.00

00:38:10.000 you have to let your dad know that he's done a pretty damn good fucking job for you to even 0.98

00:38:14.100 have the opportunity. And for what it sounds like to me, you don't appreciate shit. That's being real. 1.00

00:38:19.340 Okay. So like, if you want to get what you want in this place, you need to start treating your dad

00:38:24.540 with some fucking respect. That's the truth. No matter how bad he is, he built a successful 0.99

00:38:28.960 company that you're interested in fucking taking and evolving. You have to give him credit for that 0.97

00:38:33.300 because otherwise he's going to say, fuck you. And he's going to say, fuck you for as long as it 1.00

00:38:38.940 fucking takes just because you're a sniveling little brat that doesn't recognize the fucking dues 1.00

00:38:44.980 that that motherfucker had to pay. That's the truth. Because I can tell you this, if somebody 1.00

00:38:49.960 wanted to take my spot and they were treating me like shit and they were telling me that I haven't 0.98

00:38:54.560 done anything and I don't know, and I don't do this, I would stay in the role for an eternity just 1.00

00:39:00.360 to fuck the motherfucker over. Yeah. And in fairness to this guy, I think this is a scenario that's very 1.00

00:39:06.440 common. Guys come along and they want to take over their dad's business because they can do it better

00:39:11.440 and they get frustrated because maybe, maybe their dads have gotten to an age where they're not,

00:39:15.840 they're not executing well. But he's still like, dude, people that are proud are proud.

00:39:19.900 Yeah. And if they built something real, there's a reason to be proud. And if you minimize that,

00:39:24.680 that accomplishment of that person, I will bet that that man's whole identity is built up in that

00:39:29.780 restaurant. And you're talking about what a shitty place it is and how it's run this way and how the 0.94

00:39:34.020 bad reputation, this and that. Bro, the last thing he wants to do is work with you. So there's two sides to 0.98

00:39:40.100 this story and I've laid them both out. All right. There needs to be some give and take. If you really

00:39:46.820 want what the fuck you think you want, you need to be the example. You need to build a team within the 0.97

00:39:51.100 team. And then you need to treat your dad with some motherfucking respect and honor what he's built 0.98

00:39:55.760 and maybe not bring up all his shortcomings as a person. You know, maybe we should get America back to 0.97

00:40:03.360 a point in time where everybody understands, as you pointed out in the beginning of the show, 0.99

00:40:08.240 that we all have fucking shortcomings. Do you want to know why nobody, uh, powerful and smart 0.97

00:40:14.000 and intelligent that could actually fix this country runs for fucking office? Do you want 0.99

00:40:19.160 to know why? Because your motherfuckers judge everybody by their fucking shortcomings. Like 1.00

00:40:24.160 you're all fucking perfect, right? You don't think I'd run for president, dude? Of course I'd run for 0.99

00:40:29.960 president, but I won't do it until the culture of America understands that we want the best 0.99

00:40:33.880 motherfuckers for the job. And whatever the fuck is going on in their life is their business, 1.00

00:40:37.880 right? That's the truth. That's what's so demonic about the council or the, uh, cancel culture is 0.99

00:40:43.160 that people see like a screenshot of a DM or they see something that somebody made a mistake and they

00:40:47.720 go, that's that, that, that person is defined by that one instance. That's wrong. And so we're going

00:40:54.220 to cancel them. That's wrong. And it's scared people away from being public servants. Correct. It's

00:40:58.240 scared them away from being really impactful, doing anything. There's so many people that are

00:41:02.160 terrified, bro. Not to mention it's hypocritical. Vaughn, you know, you, you, we covered this on the, 0.96

00:41:09.300 on the, on the real AF. Um, that's a weapon. Yeah. That's a psychological weapon that they have,

00:41:15.420 they have a let evolve from politically correct culture. If you think back 20 years ago, uh,

00:41:20.720 was you're old enough to do 20 years ago. It was, we can't say this because it's offensive.

00:41:25.420 Now it's, if you say this will ruin your fucking life. Right. Okay. Well, some of us have to stand 1.00

00:41:31.240 up and say, Hey, fuck you. You're not going to ruin my life. And guess what? No, I'm not perfect. 1.00

00:41:36.480 And guess what? Yeah, I do have a lot of shit that I need to work on, but also guess what? I can do 0.98

00:41:42.200 the mother fucking job better than you. And that's, what's going to build America back. This cancel 1.00

00:41:48.720 culture shit is terrible. Not just because of, you know, what it does to the individual, 1.00

00:41:54.060 but it milks society from its best performer, stepping up and fucking helping us. 0.98

00:42:02.440 And if you participate in any regard, you are part of the problem. 0.99

00:42:09.340 Absolutely. All right. Third and final question, Andy, I was recently, by the way,

00:42:15.640 they don't say Andy, I just add it. So that's a little bit more personal. All right. Okay.

00:42:19.240 It helps. Andy, I was recently passed up for a full-time paramedic job. However, I was welcomed

00:42:25.060 to volunteer in my spare time. I want to go in and show them that they made a mistake by not hiring

00:42:30.980 me on full-time, but don't want to appear as an arrogant asshole. My question is, that struck me 0.99

00:42:37.340 funny. Sorry. My question is how do you balance confidence and arrogance in situations like this?

00:42:43.000 Well, look, arrogance is the shit you think you can do that you can't do. Confidence is just the 0.99

00:42:49.500 shit you can do real well. Okay. The truth of the matter is if you want to go in and set an example, 1.00

00:42:56.220 you go in and you work your fucking ass off and you don't worry about being arrogant. You actually 0.99

00:43:01.320 worry about picking up everything you can from every person that is better than you, that's been

00:43:05.940 there longer than you, and you show them respect. If you want to be a part of the team, you have to

00:43:10.140 play along with the team. So I would leave the arrogance of any sort at the door. There is a

00:43:15.740 big difference between having a chip on your shoulder and having something to prove and then

00:43:20.340 thinking that you're already good enough to be whatever it is you're trying to prove. So you have

00:43:24.520 to have the mentality of I'm not good enough yet, but I'm willing to do everything it takes to get

00:43:30.580 good enough. And you have to be open to that feedback and open to correcting your actions. And if you

00:43:35.740 combine that with a relentless work ethic where you're doing the shit that nobody else wants to do, 0.57

00:43:40.140 I am sure that you'll set an amazing example inside of that culture. The problem that most people have 0.87

00:43:47.100 is that they think kind of like I think, okay? I think I could probably go in and fix the whole

00:43:54.380 entire country in one fucking day. All right? That might be a little bit arrogant. Maybe not. I'm along 0.99

00:44:00.080 the road. I kind of know what I'm doing. This seems pretty simple. I think they're fucking us

00:44:04.820 intentionally. So in that case, I actually do believe I can do it. But the truth of the matter 0.99

00:44:10.060 is that could be a little bit of arrogance because I look at Trump and Trump's had twice

00:44:15.920 as much life as me. So can I really believe that I know as much as he knows? That would be an arrogant

00:44:20.820 thing to think. Okay? So don't overestimate your skills. Be humble about your skills, but be confident

00:44:27.780 in the skills you do know and accentuate those skills by being a really hard worker and you will prove

00:44:33.180 your point. The point to be proven is this. We should have hired that dude the first time.

00:44:39.120 How do we create that result? That's what this person wants to do. You want to prove a point?

00:44:43.540 There is no better way to prove a point than by being fucking amazing. And the only way you can 0.97

00:44:48.340 become fucking amazing is by working hard and being humble enough to acquire skills and also willing to 0.97

00:44:55.080 step out over the line a little bit sometimes and make some mistakes. So then you learn the proper 0.96

00:45:00.360 way to handle things. Okay? That's the balance between initiative and not having initiative.

00:45:05.580 So I would encourage people to take initiative to overextend themselves, but also recognize when

00:45:11.100 they fucked it up and not take it personal. Instead, take it as a lesson. The truth of the matter is, 0.68

00:45:16.480 guys, none of you are really that good at fucking anything because I know I'm not. All right? 0.99

00:45:21.740 The only way I've ever learned shit is I've shown the fuck up. I've got my brains beat in and I'm smart 0.99

00:45:26.400 enough to not do those things over and over and over again. Not everybody has that capacity.

00:45:32.080 Otherwise, everybody would be successful because the truth of the matter is we only need two things

00:45:35.820 to be successful. We need to be able to not quit and we'd be able to learn from our mistakes.

00:45:39.900 If you can learn from your mistakes and you don't make the same mistake two, three, four, 0.95

00:45:43.520 five fucking times, and you're willing to fucking work hard and never quit, there's really no limit to 0.97

00:45:47.520 where you can go in this world. But most people get in the way, they get their feelings in the way, 0.99

00:45:51.620 they get their ego in the way. They start thinking they know everything like this kid in the last

00:45:55.520 question. I'm sure that's a really good person, but you have to be able to identify where you are

00:46:01.640 letting your emotions kind of get you out over your skis where you're going to fucking eat shit. 1.00

00:46:07.500 You know what I mean? So that's how I would do it. I wouldn't worry about arrogance. You don't want 1.00

00:46:14.200 arrogance. You don't want arrogance. The other thing is being hired as a volunteer. I mean,

00:46:19.140 there's so many great success stories that started out that way. I think about a guy years ago that was

00:46:24.340 hired. Well, he wasn't hired. He wanted desperately to coach in the NFL. So the LA Rams said, well,

00:46:29.980 we won't pay you to do anything, but you can help out. And he worked his way up. And by the

00:46:34.960 mid nineties, he was the offensive coordinator for the St. Louis Rams and Mike Martz helped lead the

00:46:40.660 greatest show on a very coach. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, do you know how I got started in this fucking

00:46:45.980 supplement shit, dude? How I tried to get a job at someone story. They wouldn't hire me. 0.99

00:46:49.880 Hmm. So you know what I did? I went there and fucking just kind of like hung out and tried to

00:46:56.160 help. That's how I got started. Yeah. And here we are 23 years later, bro. I'm a living example of 0.98

00:47:03.580 what the fuck this person's talking about. You don't have, you listen, you don't demand respect. 1.00

00:47:11.120 Like people think, Oh, I have to demand respect. You earn respect. Okay. You earn respect through

00:47:17.580 your work ethic. You earn respect through how you treat people. You learn respect with a lot of

00:47:23.560 different things, but you don't demand it. This demanding respect is a part of our entitled culture

00:47:29.440 that is way off in America. Okay. Motherfucker, the real world. A lot of people are on the internet.

00:47:34.560 This fucking disrespected me. Motherfucker, you ain't ever done shit. Of course you don't get in 1.00

00:47:38.220 respect. You know, Oh, fucking bought me a fucking Lamborghini motherfucker. Everybody knows the 1.00

00:47:45.540 fucking real from the fake dude. This whole respect culture thing for doing nothing needs to be thrown 0.99

00:47:51.400 in the trash. Should we respect people as human beings and treat them kindly and be willing to help

00:47:57.560 them and pull them along and treat them nice? Yes. I'm not saying be a dick, but this idea of you

00:48:03.380 better respect me or, or whatever, bro, that shit is bullshit. That's not the way the real world 1.00

00:48:08.700 works. You only gain respect inside of a team atmosphere when you work harder or as hard as

00:48:15.620 everybody else. And you contribute to the team. You think Michael Jordan ever complained that nobody

00:48:21.420 respected him? Fuck no, no, because he commanded respect through his own work ethic and performance. 0.99

00:48:28.480 It's the same thing with Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant was up at fucking 3am shooting free throws. 1.00

00:48:33.980 Do you think anybody else on his team was up at 3am shooting free throws? No. And the, the, 0.99

00:48:39.720 the benefits of that work that he put in were clearly evident. And so people respected him.

00:48:46.220 It's very simple. People think that to lead, you have to like, you know, be Vince Lombardi,

00:48:52.500 or you've got to yell at people or like give these passionate speeches and shit. That has nothing to do 0.94

00:48:57.700 with it. That has nothing to do with it. Now, certain people have those skills. I have that

00:49:01.740 skill. Like motherfucker, you come to a meeting that I give, you're going to leave running through 1.00

00:49:05.760 a motherfucking wall. Okay. I'm good at it, but that's a skill I developed over 10,000 fucking 1.00

00:49:11.160 meetings over the last 23 years. Right. I didn't have that. The first meeting I ever gave, bro, 0.99

00:49:16.200 I was, I had a piece of paper in my hand. There's 12 people sitting in front of me and I was basically

00:49:20.820 pissing my pants. Like that's where I started, you know, and people have to understand that like

00:49:26.660 this respect thing that we're all trying to gain or have is earned through work over a period of time

00:49:35.360 and not a short period of time. It's every day forever. It's, you don't get to see, that's what

00:49:41.300 other thing people don't understand about respect is diminishing. It's a diminishing skillset,

00:49:45.560 just like shooting a pistol. If you don't practice shooting a pistol every fucking other day, 1.00

00:49:50.520 you're going to get worse at shooting a pistol. If you don't go hit golf balls every motherfucking day, 1.00

00:49:55.500 you're not going to, you're going to get worse at golf by not doing it. Respect is the same thing. 0.99

00:50:01.200 You have respect equity. And when you have respect equity, the reason, the way that it stays high is

00:50:06.100 by you continuing to live the standard. That's it. It's that simple. You mentioned Kobe Bryant,

00:50:12.600 just circling back to that first question. Uh, you were talking about the importance of people being

00:50:17.520 willing to have hard conversations and to speak truth to people. I recently saw a video with Kobe Bryant,

00:50:23.160 where he was talking about, like, why didn't it work out for you to, for you to play with Dwight

00:50:27.460 Howard? And I loved his answer. He basically said like, Dwight's a good dude. Like he's a good dude.

00:50:32.220 He's a great player. But you know, before, you know, early on in this career, when we were talking

00:50:36.920 about playing together, we went out to the restaurant, we were around different people.

00:50:41.200 He said, I just, I just kind of wanted to figure out how he was wired. And so he says to him, he said,

00:50:45.980 Dwight, let me ask you this. Are you the kind of person that if you're real good friends with somebody,

00:50:49.820 uh, and you have shit on your teeth, um, you want your friend to say, not do anything and just kind 0.98

00:50:57.420 of let you, let you, you know, go through the whole table and do that. Or are you the kind of 0.99

00:51:01.820 person that really wants you to say, wants somebody to say in front of everybody, Hey bro, you got shit 1.00

00:51:07.100 on your teeth. And do I thought about it for a little while? And he goes, ah, uh, I know, I think 1.00

00:51:14.660 I wouldn't want somebody to say that to me. He says, and Dwight says to him, Dwight says to him,

00:51:19.300 why do you say that? And Joe, Kobe says, cause you got shit on your teeth and this ain't going to 0.99

00:51:24.080 work out. Well, and that's basically, and everybody laughed, but I don't know if that's a true story 0.99

00:51:28.060 or not. Like, I don't, I don't, maybe that's true, but I'll tell you this. I want a motherfucker

00:51:32.320 tell me I got shit on my teeth. Yeah. I'm my own best friend, bro. I'm going to tell me when I got 1.00

00:51:36.820 shit on my teeth. Yeah. I'm going to tell me when I'm being a lazy fuck. I'm going to tell me when 0.99

00:51:40.860 I'm off the fucking path. And I'm going to tell me before any other motherfucker has a chance to 1.00

00:51:44.800 tell me. And that's the kind of person that you should aim to become. Yeah. Because if you're 0.99

00:51:48.920 that kind of a person and you're self-aware at that level, you can get better without any external

00:51:54.080 feedback all the time. All right. So this is what I meant by like becoming your own best friend back

00:51:59.980 when we were talking about it a minute ago. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, dude,

00:52:04.060 I'm going to get people saying, I can't believe the pastor of disaster is cussing, but I was quoting,

00:52:08.900 you didn't, I was quoting a story. You didn't say the F word. That's true. I'm going to get you to 1.00

00:52:12.920 say it soon now. Oh, you're going to try. No, you'll say it. I already got, I got you a couple

00:52:16.320 of times. We got the clips. So, well, we still got it. Yeah. No, I mean, we got it. This, you know,

00:52:22.760 you and me, we still got it. Well, listen, bro. Uh, you know, I'm really good at my job. Yeah,

00:52:27.700 you are. You know, I can sit anybody in there and read some questions. No, real talk, bro. I, uh,

00:52:35.460 I'm, you know, I, I wanted to have you sit in on this episode because of the news that you had

00:52:41.140 today. I thought it was a cool way for people to find out about it. Um, I guarantee you,

00:52:47.300 everybody that's listening is super fucking happy for you, dude. And, uh, I, I'm just super thankful, 0.82

00:52:55.260 man, man. And I appreciate it, man. And it's, yeah, it's, it's really moving to me and it's really

00:53:00.160 meaningful. And, uh, you know, I knew it was going to be a special day when I walked into the

00:53:05.240 parking lot and Medot was driving out and even, even Medot looked excited to see me. I was like,

00:53:09.320 man, we went and got me a smart water. Well, you know, I got you a blackberry. What? You know

00:53:15.480 why he got you that smart water, right? I'm trying to tell you something, bro. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

00:53:21.800 Give me a little extra, but, uh, no, it's, it's good to be here. He could have just got you the

00:53:25.940 dumb water. Like he could have. Yeah. He said you already drank enough of that. Yeah. Right. 0.99

00:53:30.420 Well, or he could have gotten me 26, 27 shots. We'll tell that story again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:53:37.500 So you don't lie in that story. I got to find that girl to prove that it actually happened, 0.94

00:53:43.280 bro. We'll talk about that. Yeah. We'll talk about that. And listen, guys, MFCO project's coming

00:53:50.480 back soon. I'm super excited about it. Um, we're going to continue this show. Uh, everything

00:53:55.740 was going to be uploaded on from this show will be uploaded on YouTube. Uh, we've got

00:53:59.860 a lot of new projects coming out and, uh, we're super excited to bring those to you. If

00:54:04.300 you guys haven't yet, uh, I'm going to mention this one last time. We do have some tickets

00:54:09.600 available for RTA live in Nashville, which is November 5th. You can get those tickets at

00:54:15.700 RTA syndicate.com. Uh, one of the biggest things that you can do and, and how you can understand

00:54:22.240 these events is that every single person there, uh, wants to win and is doing things. These,

00:54:30.240 these tickets are not cheap. It is not a cheap event to attend. These are people who are doing

00:54:34.620 things in real life. If you're looking to build your network, you're looking to connect with other

00:54:39.200 like-minded individuals. This is an amazing, amazing opportunity to do so. So that's the last

00:54:44.180 time I'm going to mention that on the show. Uh, because I think we only have a few tickets

00:54:47.440 left to sell. Uh, with that being said, Vaughn, bro, thank you so much for sitting on the show.

00:54:52.940 You bet. Now that I'm cancer free. Yeah. Do I get the gift of maybe like a free trip to the RTA

00:54:57.880 live? No, I get to go to that. No, you fucking pay. I don't give discounts, bro. Everybody knows

00:55:02.720 that. That's true. I should know that. Yeah. Look at you trying to use that card on me. I know.

00:55:08.000 Oh, I use that card quite a bit. I'm fucking bulletproof. Yeah, you are. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. 0.98

00:55:12.240 Hey, it is what it is, bro. Sorry. I can't say cancer brain anymore. Yeah. You know,

00:55:16.080 whenever I'd forget to do something, I'd, you know, or, you know, get my organization a little

00:55:20.760 messed up or my schedule. I was able to say, Oh, I'm sorry. It's a cancer brain. Yeah. You can't

00:55:25.100 say that. So you're building a, you're building a negative identity. Victimhood mentality. Yeah.

00:55:30.000 I just trying out to see if I liked it and I hated it. I got you. Yeah. I'm glad you did. I'm glad

00:55:34.400 you didn't like it. Yeah. No, I didn't. All right, guys. Well, that's the show. I appreciate you guys.

00:55:39.520 I love you guys. Please share the show.

00:55:46.080 Fuck a pole. Fuck a stove. Counted millions in the cold. Bad bitch. 1.00

00:55:50.440 Booty swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold. Doesn't know. Headshot. Case closed. 1.00

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - October 06, 2022

389. Q&AF： Personal Development For Your Loved Ones, Fixing Culture In An Inherited Business & Responding To A Job Rejection

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - October 06, 2022

389. Q&#x26;AF： Personal Development For Your Loved Ones, Fixing Culture In An Inherited Business &#x26; Responding To A Job Rejection

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

389. Q&AF： Personal Development For Your Loved Ones, Fixing Culture In An Inherited Business & Responding To A Job Rejection