REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 42. Replacing The Habits That Keep Us Ordinary

00:00:00.000 told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living 1.00

00:00:04.680 spoke it till existence mo changed to 50 got mo cost than did i only weigh 180 but my watch 0.99

00:00:11.720 cost 250 what's up guys it's andy frisella and this is the show for the realists say goodbye 0.98

00:00:17.520 to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys

00:00:23.340 today we've got a real talk before i get into it i'd like to remind you of the fee if you've 0.72

00:00:27.740 listened you know what the fee is the fee is hey if you get some benefit out of this show

00:00:32.820 if you like it if it makes you think which this one definitely will if it gives you a good tool

00:00:38.180 which this one absolutely will um share it you know talk about it get it out uh you know hit that

00:00:45.640 subscribe button for us leave us a review those things really help us out uh we're out here trying

00:00:50.220 to do the best that we can to make your life better give you the tools to help navigate this crazy world

00:00:57.340 that we live in and i know we've talked a lot about the uh coronavirus and the political

00:01:03.200 landscape recently but i want you guys to know this is a business show it's a personal development show

00:01:08.920 and uh you know it just so happens we're in a time where this current event and this climate

00:01:14.280 seems to uh supersede almost the importance of almost every topic out there um and so we've been

00:01:20.840 addressing it and that's what we're going to continue to do you know when big things happen

00:01:24.400 current events happen they're going on in the world that we think need to be addressed we're

00:01:28.060 going to talk about it and we might talk about it for a few weeks at a time but the nature of this

00:01:33.500 show is to help you make decisions that are going to improve your life and i think we do a damn good

00:01:39.860 job of doing that and uh i'm real proud of what we put out here and if you if you feel the same

00:01:46.260 you know help us grow the show and that's all we ask so guys uh today i've got a concept

00:01:53.260 that i want to talk to you guys about before i do it i want to i've kind of got to lead in with this

00:01:58.100 this this idea of too big to fail all right this this idea comes from the 80s uh but there's been a

00:02:07.660 huge resurgence of this phrase uh you know amongst different times in history uh in 2008 when we had

00:02:15.900 the big recession we had you know people talking about too big to fail and i've been hearing it

00:02:20.500 recently with the current climate uh and i want to address this a little bit without getting into

00:02:26.420 the politics i want to take this to the granular level of how the concept of too big to fail

00:02:33.440 affects your personal development all right because i believe this phrase is extremely beneficial when

00:02:40.260 it's applied to the idea of self-improvement and success and strong mental mindset basically like

00:02:47.840 you know this is what it takes you guys have to build yourself up to such a high level that quitting

00:02:55.280 or giving up or allowing yourself to fall back into bad habits is literally impossible it's not even an

00:03:02.760 option for you so how do we do that where do we start right like it's one thing to say this it's another

00:03:09.640 thing to do it well guys the first step that you have to do is you have to be able to give a

00:03:15.280 unbiased strong accurate mental inventory of yourself you don't have to be abnormally harsh

00:03:23.560 on yourself nor do you want to give yourself credit that you don't deserve it's got to be realist

00:03:28.240 thinking all right remember this is the real af this is about thinking like a realist where are you

00:03:34.840 lacking in life where for most of us it's something obvious and it's glaring that we want to fix it could

00:03:41.960 be our physical fitness it could be our career it could be our job it could be the lack of financial

00:03:49.040 success that we're having it could be a bad relationship this is the easy part we can identify

00:03:55.620 where we're struggling and that's really like you know we're as humans we tend to be really hard on

00:04:03.980 ourselves um and so we can easily point out the places where we need to improve we just inherently

00:04:11.440 know uh but here's the hard part now i want you to do the same thing for the areas that you strive

00:04:19.760 in i want you to give yourself some credit i want you to say hey where am i good where am i great all

00:04:26.980 right and i want you to list all the areas you need to improve on one half of the paper and i want you to

00:04:32.140 list all the areas where you're strong on the other half of the paper all right it's really simple

00:04:37.980 is it your organizational skills is it your time management is it your fitness is it your business

00:04:44.760 is it your relationships whatever it is that you're strong at i want you to take those concepts 1.00

00:04:50.960 and list them out on the left you've got the shit you need to improve on the right you've got the shit 0.99

00:04:56.180 that you're great at and now what we're going to do is we're going to we're going to take the 0.99

00:05:01.260 concepts that you are great at and we're going to find a way to apply the systems and the mentality

00:05:06.940 to the areas on the left of the sheet the negative areas of life that you're struggling with

00:05:11.940 so let's just for the sake of argument take physical fitness as an example because most people

00:05:18.400 know they can improve in their physical fitness so it implies to to most of us right and the reason

00:05:25.240 that you're not where you want to be it could be a lot of different things right it could be you just

00:05:29.400 hate having to eat certain foods or you hate having to move or you can't find a rhythm and

00:05:35.340 you can't get into the swing of it uh you find that you only work on yourself when there's absolutely

00:05:41.200 nothing to do and because of that you lack consistency all right now at work you might not

00:05:47.820 have any problems you have a system in place you know what you're doing and when you're doing it and

00:05:53.400 you know why you're doing it to produce a certain outcome and what i want you guys to do is to take

00:05:59.800 the mentality that you apply over here where you're kicking ass and i want you to think about it in terms 0.68

00:06:06.100 of the area that you're struggling you need to look at your daily routine and start to find that half an 0.66

00:06:11.740 hour an hour that you generally truly have downtime you know that time when you're sitting on the couch

00:06:17.700 watching tv not doing shit for four hours a day which is what most people do let's be real um 0.61

00:06:23.220 and i want you to take your phone i want you to set an alarm for that time and i want you to put the 0.96

00:06:29.060 alarm as dude it's time to fucking work out all right and this is as simple as it gets you do this 0.91

00:06:35.240 for a week or two at a time and it starts to become something that you look forward to because 0.96

00:06:40.760 you're going to notice that every time you accomplish one of these things the immediate

00:06:47.420 feeling you have after is a feeling of gratitude a feeling of winning a feeling of being proud of

00:06:54.220 yourself and this is how you start to build upon what it is you lack to build a positive habit these

00:07:01.860 positive habits eventually turn into routines and before you know it you're already accomplishing all

00:07:07.840 these things that have seemed impossible to you and you're doing it seemingly automatically because

00:07:13.220 you started to build a real habit okay let's look at this guy the family man right there's tons of

00:07:21.280 people out there that are the family man or the mom and they're struggling with poor diet but let's look at

00:07:28.600 it from a different perspective how about this if i keep eating this poorly am i setting a great example

00:07:35.800 for my kids okay you're not you know you're not so what can you do start meal prepping get into the

00:07:43.180 habit of telling yourself you're doing it for them and not for yourself put together healthy meals and

00:07:49.200 make sure that you're eating the same things and you're teaching your kids great habits from the start

00:07:53.780 and you're also rewiring your own brain to have positive habits and again over time it will become just

00:08:00.920 the way it is and what you'll see as this process becomes just the way it is is it will actually

00:08:08.160 become who you are and what happens then is that your life magically quote-unquote magically transforms

00:08:16.300 with very little effort all right this is what you do when you take the positive aspects of the things

00:08:24.120 that you understand how to accomplish and you apply them to the areas that you struggle with

00:08:30.680 accomplishment is literally the same it's just that sometimes we all have different habits that

00:08:39.360 we've instilled in ourselves that produce a result and so what do we need to do are we going to fight

00:08:45.120 our entire lives to create this win for ourselves grit it out you know white knuckle blood in the face 0.99

00:08:51.880 dirt in the eyes you know hard as fuck all day no that's not what i'm talking about that's just the 0.99

00:08:58.100 first couple weeks the first two to four six weeks you're going to have days where you have to grit it 0.99

00:09:05.000 out you're going to have days where you get that dirt in your eyes and you feel like quitting but the

00:09:09.980 point is if you push through those days you create a new habitual process that produces a beneficial result

00:09:18.300 for you and one of the biggest things i'm trying to point out here guys is the significance of habits

00:09:25.300 you have to realize that the reason you are where you are is because you have a habit that you haven't

00:09:32.720 been able to break and that habit is quitting all right most people can never get over the habit of quitting

00:09:39.880 ever most marathon runners don't just decide i'm going to run a marathon and go out and do it now i know a

00:09:46.280 couple of guys who have done that but that's just not the norm all right you have to realize that

00:09:52.420 running a marathon is the process that is a result of the habit of running you know people who start 0.99

00:09:59.780 running they eventually you know the first couple weeks they're like fuck this sucks they stick with 0.98

00:10:04.920 it and they eventually start to form a habit that they continue to build upon and this is the same in 0.99

00:10:10.680 every single area of life whether it be dieting whether it be working out whether it be maintaining

00:10:16.620 healthy relationships whether it be becoming financially successful consistency is always

00:10:23.780 the key and you have to put work into developing and i mean conscious work into developing your routine

00:10:31.520 and habits because if you don't it will always be a fight it will always be a struggle and it will 0.97

00:10:38.020 always be the day that you wake up and you don't want to do shit and it's fucking hard and that's 0.95

00:10:45.540 not what we want to live like we want to live and be successful in an effortless state of mind and that 0.97

00:10:51.440 starts by being conscious of how we create habits being conscious of which habits we have and being

00:10:59.560 conscious of implementing the habits we have in areas that were great into areas that we struggle

00:11:05.760 so how does this all relate to the too big to fail concept you have to realize that it's necessary for

00:11:14.580 you to foster these habits in multiple areas of your life okay and you have to keep up with them all

00:11:21.560 that's the big kicker here you can't just win in one area and then let the other area go because

00:11:28.620 what you have now is conflicting beliefs and conflicting principles about how habits are formed

00:11:34.960 so this sounds a little confusing and i know it's hard to think man you know i've got to maintain all

00:11:40.780 these good habits all the time yeah it is hard that's the point but i want you to consider this

00:11:48.300 you can't possibly assume that you're going to get shredded doing a p90x workout and then follow 0.97

00:11:55.940 it up with a triple cheeseburger fries and a fucking shake you guys know better we all know better 0.99

00:12:02.360 right that seems like common sense but that same mentality applies to all areas of your life you 0.98

00:12:09.620 cannot let one aspect start to slip because the mentality starts to grow it starts to grow like a

00:12:16.320 weed and in growing it's going to start affecting everything else that you've worked on to be great

00:12:22.780 so instead of just having one area that you're good at start working on all the areas and start

00:12:29.140 implementing your systems and watch these positive habits start forming and these skills beginning to

00:12:34.820 cultivate once you start to realize that you're building up in all areas it becomes a compounding

00:12:41.640 experience all right you're not going to start eating healthy and working out and then lose self

00:12:46.940 confidence it's absurd it doesn't happen instead you're going to start checking yourself out a little

00:12:52.680 bit and you're going to see that you look better and that confidence is going to sprout from a

00:12:57.060 little seed into a little plant and it's going to come on organically and naturally and it's going

00:13:01.760 to help you in every other area too you're going to want to show yourself off a little bit you're

00:13:06.560 going to become a little more outgoing and hopefully that's going to lead to you building and cultivating

00:13:11.780 better relationships all right these things compound they go together when you realize you're spending

00:13:18.140 your time in more productive ways you start to notice when you're slacking off more this is going to help

00:13:23.980 you immensely in a work setting so you see how these things all sort of go together it's all connected

00:13:29.380 being positive in one aspect of your life pushes you to cultivate those successes in other areas and

00:13:36.180 the ongoing goal is that you do become so well-rounded and so quote-unquote big that it's literally

00:13:44.120 insulting for you to even consider giving up in any other areas all right this is where you become

00:13:52.440 what bobby brown used to say too legit to fucking quit life is hard guys any path you take that ends 0.97

00:14:02.600 up with building yourself up is going to be hard quitting is easy lying in bed your whole life watching the 0.97

00:14:10.460 walking dead is easy but what are you getting out of that that's not happiness to you that's not happiness

00:14:16.720 for anybody there is no way around putting in the work if you want to succeed in anything you are going

00:14:23.660 to have to work your ass off for a really long time anyone who ever achieved anything understands this 0.52

00:14:31.960 they are willing to work harder and longer and more dedicated than the other guy all right there is

00:14:40.400 nothing special about you or different about you that lets you skip the line on this you can't skip

00:14:47.380 the work you can't skip the blood the sweat and the tears and the effort and then suddenly end up where 0.89

00:14:53.080 the fuck you want to be that just isn't how it works and here's the other part that i want to drive home 0.81

00:14:59.600 quitting has a compounding negative effect no one has ever challenged themselves or started working 1.00

00:15:07.040 towards a goal only to then quit and then walk away feeling happier and better about their situation 0.98

00:15:12.560 it doesn't even make logical fucking sense nor emotional sense nor fucking dollars and cents it 0.97

00:15:18.060 just doesn't add up the more times you begin something only to quit the minute it gets hard 0.98

00:15:23.320 that plays into your psyche crushing your confidence crushing your belief crushing your dreams because you

00:15:31.680 know that you can't follow through on what you said you would the only solution here guys the only

00:15:38.320 solution is to see it through from start to finish i don't care how small or how big of a goal you set

00:15:45.880 for yourself you have to set one and you have to work towards it and you have to complete it not 80 percent

00:15:54.560 not 90 percent not 97 percent not 99 percent you have to complete it a hundred percent and then you

00:16:03.880 have to set the bar a little higher you have to create a goal that's going to push you even further

00:16:08.820 once you start this pattern of setting goals and achieving them guys you are going to build yourself up

00:16:15.520 your confidence is going to grow and you're going to start to realize how fucking awesome it feels 0.99

00:16:21.080 to be one of these people who wins at everything they do losing sucks quitting is fucking losing but 0.98

00:16:30.260 winning winning feels pretty fucking good doesn't it the first time you complete something all the 0.98

00:16:36.080 way through how'd you feel you're going to have that winning feeling you all felt it before you know

00:16:40.960 what it's like even it's as simple as mowing the grass and having that cold beer afterwards that's a

00:16:46.220 fucking win you know what that feels like and you want to feel again so take quitting out of the 0.98

00:16:52.420 options it is zero option mentality we are going to fucking do this or we're going to die trying 0.99

00:17:00.760 that is the mentality we have to have to build something fulfilling for ourselves you have to get 0.97

00:17:08.060 rid of the quitting you've got to throw it out instead work on yourself work on the wins build yourself up

00:17:15.900 build yourself up to the point where quitting isn't even a fucking fraction a figment a speck of sand 0.90

00:17:25.080 worth of thought in your brain now we're talking about what it feels like to be great now you're 0.66

00:17:35.180 starting to see what it takes to become great all of you have it in you every single one of you I don't

00:17:42.720 care where you are I don't care what you do the only reason that you aren't where you want to be

00:17:49.280 or at least on the path to where you want to be is because you have a habit and it's the same habit

00:17:55.960 that most people have and that habit is when things get hard we find other shit to do that's not what 0.79

00:18:03.800 winners do doesn't matter if there's a wall it doesn't matter if there's a fence it doesn't matter if

00:18:09.680 there's an army we go through it we go around it we go over it to get where we need to be guys and

00:18:18.260 this is the secret this is the idea you take the habit of quitting and you eliminate it from your

00:18:25.600 life and you become one of those people who are truly limitless in all areas one of those people you 0.52

00:18:33.440 admire one of those people you look at and think how the fuck are they doing this how is every area

00:18:39.680 of their life a win guys this is how 1.00

00:18:43.520 i told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till 1.00

00:18:49.280 existed 1.00

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - May 28, 2020

42. Replacing The Habits That Keep Us Ordinary

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