42. Replacing The Habits That Keep Us Ordinary
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Summary
Too Big to Fail is a phrase that has been around for a long time, and it s been used to describe the concept of "too big to fail". In this episode of The Realists, we discuss this phrase and how it can be applied to the idea of self improvement and success.
Transcript
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told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living
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spoke it till existence mo changed to 50 got mo cost than did i only weigh 180 but my watch
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cost 250 what's up guys it's andy frisella and this is the show for the realists say goodbye
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to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys
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today we've got a real talk before i get into it i'd like to remind you of the fee if you've
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listened you know what the fee is the fee is hey if you get some benefit out of this show
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if you like it if it makes you think which this one definitely will if it gives you a good tool
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which this one absolutely will um share it you know talk about it get it out uh you know hit that
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subscribe button for us leave us a review those things really help us out uh we're out here trying
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to do the best that we can to make your life better give you the tools to help navigate this crazy world
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that we live in and i know we've talked a lot about the uh coronavirus and the political
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landscape recently but i want you guys to know this is a business show it's a personal development show
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and uh you know it just so happens we're in a time where this current event and this climate
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seems to uh supersede almost the importance of almost every topic out there um and so we've been
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addressing it and that's what we're going to continue to do you know when big things happen
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current events happen they're going on in the world that we think need to be addressed we're
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going to talk about it and we might talk about it for a few weeks at a time but the nature of this
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show is to help you make decisions that are going to improve your life and i think we do a damn good
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job of doing that and uh i'm real proud of what we put out here and if you if you feel the same
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you know help us grow the show and that's all we ask so guys uh today i've got a concept
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that i want to talk to you guys about before i do it i want to i've kind of got to lead in with this
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this this idea of too big to fail all right this this idea comes from the 80s uh but there's been a
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huge resurgence of this phrase uh you know amongst different times in history uh in 2008 when we had
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the big recession we had you know people talking about too big to fail and i've been hearing it
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recently with the current climate uh and i want to address this a little bit without getting into
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the politics i want to take this to the granular level of how the concept of too big to fail
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affects your personal development all right because i believe this phrase is extremely beneficial when
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it's applied to the idea of self-improvement and success and strong mental mindset basically like
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you know this is what it takes you guys have to build yourself up to such a high level that quitting
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or giving up or allowing yourself to fall back into bad habits is literally impossible it's not even an
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option for you so how do we do that where do we start right like it's one thing to say this it's another
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thing to do it well guys the first step that you have to do is you have to be able to give a
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unbiased strong accurate mental inventory of yourself you don't have to be abnormally harsh
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on yourself nor do you want to give yourself credit that you don't deserve it's got to be realist
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thinking all right remember this is the real af this is about thinking like a realist where are you
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lacking in life where for most of us it's something obvious and it's glaring that we want to fix it could
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be our physical fitness it could be our career it could be our job it could be the lack of financial
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success that we're having it could be a bad relationship this is the easy part we can identify
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where we're struggling and that's really like you know we're as humans we tend to be really hard on
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ourselves um and so we can easily point out the places where we need to improve we just inherently
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know uh but here's the hard part now i want you to do the same thing for the areas that you strive
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in i want you to give yourself some credit i want you to say hey where am i good where am i great all
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right and i want you to list all the areas you need to improve on one half of the paper and i want you to
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list all the areas where you're strong on the other half of the paper all right it's really simple
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is it your organizational skills is it your time management is it your fitness is it your business
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is it your relationships whatever it is that you're strong at i want you to take those concepts
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and list them out on the left you've got the shit you need to improve on the right you've got the shit
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that you're great at and now what we're going to do is we're going to we're going to take the
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concepts that you are great at and we're going to find a way to apply the systems and the mentality
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to the areas on the left of the sheet the negative areas of life that you're struggling with
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so let's just for the sake of argument take physical fitness as an example because most people
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know they can improve in their physical fitness so it implies to to most of us right and the reason
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that you're not where you want to be it could be a lot of different things right it could be you just
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hate having to eat certain foods or you hate having to move or you can't find a rhythm and
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you can't get into the swing of it uh you find that you only work on yourself when there's absolutely
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nothing to do and because of that you lack consistency all right now at work you might not
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have any problems you have a system in place you know what you're doing and when you're doing it and
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you know why you're doing it to produce a certain outcome and what i want you guys to do is to take
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the mentality that you apply over here where you're kicking ass and i want you to think about it in terms
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of the area that you're struggling you need to look at your daily routine and start to find that half an
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hour an hour that you generally truly have downtime you know that time when you're sitting on the couch
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watching tv not doing shit for four hours a day which is what most people do let's be real um
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and i want you to take your phone i want you to set an alarm for that time and i want you to put the
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alarm as dude it's time to fucking work out all right and this is as simple as it gets you do this
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for a week or two at a time and it starts to become something that you look forward to because
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you're going to notice that every time you accomplish one of these things the immediate
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feeling you have after is a feeling of gratitude a feeling of winning a feeling of being proud of
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yourself and this is how you start to build upon what it is you lack to build a positive habit these
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positive habits eventually turn into routines and before you know it you're already accomplishing all
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these things that have seemed impossible to you and you're doing it seemingly automatically because
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you started to build a real habit okay let's look at this guy the family man right there's tons of
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people out there that are the family man or the mom and they're struggling with poor diet but let's look at
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it from a different perspective how about this if i keep eating this poorly am i setting a great example
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for my kids okay you're not you know you're not so what can you do start meal prepping get into the
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habit of telling yourself you're doing it for them and not for yourself put together healthy meals and
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make sure that you're eating the same things and you're teaching your kids great habits from the start
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and you're also rewiring your own brain to have positive habits and again over time it will become just
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the way it is and what you'll see as this process becomes just the way it is is it will actually
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become who you are and what happens then is that your life magically quote-unquote magically transforms
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with very little effort all right this is what you do when you take the positive aspects of the things
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that you understand how to accomplish and you apply them to the areas that you struggle with
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accomplishment is literally the same it's just that sometimes we all have different habits that
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we've instilled in ourselves that produce a result and so what do we need to do are we going to fight
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our entire lives to create this win for ourselves grit it out you know white knuckle blood in the face
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dirt in the eyes you know hard as fuck all day no that's not what i'm talking about that's just the
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first couple weeks the first two to four six weeks you're going to have days where you have to grit it
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out you're going to have days where you get that dirt in your eyes and you feel like quitting but the
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point is if you push through those days you create a new habitual process that produces a beneficial result
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for you and one of the biggest things i'm trying to point out here guys is the significance of habits
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you have to realize that the reason you are where you are is because you have a habit that you haven't
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been able to break and that habit is quitting all right most people can never get over the habit of quitting
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ever most marathon runners don't just decide i'm going to run a marathon and go out and do it now i know a
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couple of guys who have done that but that's just not the norm all right you have to realize that
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running a marathon is the process that is a result of the habit of running you know people who start
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running they eventually you know the first couple weeks they're like fuck this sucks they stick with
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it and they eventually start to form a habit that they continue to build upon and this is the same in
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every single area of life whether it be dieting whether it be working out whether it be maintaining
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healthy relationships whether it be becoming financially successful consistency is always
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the key and you have to put work into developing and i mean conscious work into developing your routine
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and habits because if you don't it will always be a fight it will always be a struggle and it will
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always be the day that you wake up and you don't want to do shit and it's fucking hard and that's
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not what we want to live like we want to live and be successful in an effortless state of mind and that
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starts by being conscious of how we create habits being conscious of which habits we have and being
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conscious of implementing the habits we have in areas that were great into areas that we struggle
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so how does this all relate to the too big to fail concept you have to realize that it's necessary for
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you to foster these habits in multiple areas of your life okay and you have to keep up with them all
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that's the big kicker here you can't just win in one area and then let the other area go because
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what you have now is conflicting beliefs and conflicting principles about how habits are formed
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so this sounds a little confusing and i know it's hard to think man you know i've got to maintain all
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these good habits all the time yeah it is hard that's the point but i want you to consider this
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you can't possibly assume that you're going to get shredded doing a p90x workout and then follow
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it up with a triple cheeseburger fries and a fucking shake you guys know better we all know better
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right that seems like common sense but that same mentality applies to all areas of your life you
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cannot let one aspect start to slip because the mentality starts to grow it starts to grow like a
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weed and in growing it's going to start affecting everything else that you've worked on to be great
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so instead of just having one area that you're good at start working on all the areas and start
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implementing your systems and watch these positive habits start forming and these skills beginning to
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cultivate once you start to realize that you're building up in all areas it becomes a compounding
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experience all right you're not going to start eating healthy and working out and then lose self
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confidence it's absurd it doesn't happen instead you're going to start checking yourself out a little
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bit and you're going to see that you look better and that confidence is going to sprout from a
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little seed into a little plant and it's going to come on organically and naturally and it's going
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to help you in every other area too you're going to want to show yourself off a little bit you're
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going to become a little more outgoing and hopefully that's going to lead to you building and cultivating
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better relationships all right these things compound they go together when you realize you're spending
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your time in more productive ways you start to notice when you're slacking off more this is going to help
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you immensely in a work setting so you see how these things all sort of go together it's all connected
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being positive in one aspect of your life pushes you to cultivate those successes in other areas and
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the ongoing goal is that you do become so well-rounded and so quote-unquote big that it's literally
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insulting for you to even consider giving up in any other areas all right this is where you become
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what bobby brown used to say too legit to fucking quit life is hard guys any path you take that ends
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up with building yourself up is going to be hard quitting is easy lying in bed your whole life watching the
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walking dead is easy but what are you getting out of that that's not happiness to you that's not happiness
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for anybody there is no way around putting in the work if you want to succeed in anything you are going
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to have to work your ass off for a really long time anyone who ever achieved anything understands this
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they are willing to work harder and longer and more dedicated than the other guy all right there is
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nothing special about you or different about you that lets you skip the line on this you can't skip
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the work you can't skip the blood the sweat and the tears and the effort and then suddenly end up where
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the fuck you want to be that just isn't how it works and here's the other part that i want to drive home
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quitting has a compounding negative effect no one has ever challenged themselves or started working
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towards a goal only to then quit and then walk away feeling happier and better about their situation
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it doesn't even make logical fucking sense nor emotional sense nor fucking dollars and cents it
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just doesn't add up the more times you begin something only to quit the minute it gets hard
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that plays into your psyche crushing your confidence crushing your belief crushing your dreams because you
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know that you can't follow through on what you said you would the only solution here guys the only
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solution is to see it through from start to finish i don't care how small or how big of a goal you set
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for yourself you have to set one and you have to work towards it and you have to complete it not 80 percent
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not 90 percent not 97 percent not 99 percent you have to complete it a hundred percent and then you
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have to set the bar a little higher you have to create a goal that's going to push you even further
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once you start this pattern of setting goals and achieving them guys you are going to build yourself up
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your confidence is going to grow and you're going to start to realize how fucking awesome it feels
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to be one of these people who wins at everything they do losing sucks quitting is fucking losing but
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winning winning feels pretty fucking good doesn't it the first time you complete something all the
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way through how'd you feel you're going to have that winning feeling you all felt it before you know
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what it's like even it's as simple as mowing the grass and having that cold beer afterwards that's a
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fucking win you know what that feels like and you want to feel again so take quitting out of the
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options it is zero option mentality we are going to fucking do this or we're going to die trying
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that is the mentality we have to have to build something fulfilling for ourselves you have to get
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rid of the quitting you've got to throw it out instead work on yourself work on the wins build yourself up
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build yourself up to the point where quitting isn't even a fucking fraction a figment a speck of sand
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worth of thought in your brain now we're talking about what it feels like to be great now you're
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starting to see what it takes to become great all of you have it in you every single one of you I don't
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care where you are I don't care what you do the only reason that you aren't where you want to be
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or at least on the path to where you want to be is because you have a habit and it's the same habit
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that most people have and that habit is when things get hard we find other shit to do that's not what
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winners do doesn't matter if there's a wall it doesn't matter if there's a fence it doesn't matter if
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there's an army we go through it we go around it we go over it to get where we need to be guys and
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this is the secret this is the idea you take the habit of quitting and you eliminate it from your
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life and you become one of those people who are truly limitless in all areas one of those people you
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admire one of those people you look at and think how the fuck are they doing this how is every area
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i told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till