423. Q&AF： Poaching People From Former Employers, Conflict With Leadership & The Magic In Not Quitting
Episode Stats
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195.31857
Summary
In this episode of The Realists, I talk about my recent trip to the hospital and how it has changed my perspective on life and the way we live it. I also talk about how our healthcare system is broken and how we need to fix it.
Transcript
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What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye
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to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society.
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That is where you submit the Qs and I give you the AFs.
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Sometimes, and now if you're new, I always do the, I got to do the run through.
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That is more of our society culture part of the show.
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We throw up headlines on the screen, usually three of them, sometimes four, and we talk
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And we talk about what may be true, what probably isn't.
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And then we talk about how we can solve that problem as individuals collectively.
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Real talk is five to 20 minutes of just real talk.
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And then sometimes we have full length and full length is what you're used to when you
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watch some of these other guys who are great interviewers.
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I am a terrible interviewer, but I'm funny enough that it makes up for it, at least in
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So when it comes to Q and AF, submit your questions, make them about anything that you want to know
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Email those questions into ask Andy at Andy for seller.com.
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It could be about how, you know, what, what do I think about this and this and this, whatever
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it is that you want to know, this is your chance to know.
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So, uh, we do have a fee for the show and the fee is very simple.
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I, I don't charge, uh, or I don't take money for ads on the show because I don't want to
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Uh, and in exchange, I just asked that you guys help us grow the show.
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Uh, I'm going to get into that on a, on a, on a different episode, but, um, I spent
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the last two days in and out of the hospital and doctor's office with my, uh, I have atrial
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I've had it for 15 years, 14 years, and I got a really important story that I want to
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tell about that regarding our healthcare system.
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But I'm not going to get into that right now because honestly, I will get so fucking
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So we'll save that for a different show because I'm actually for the first time in the last
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two days in a not wanting to murder every single human mood.
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Well, they probably actually already heard this show, heard that show, heard you talk
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Maybe I'm just saying, I'm just saying for us, I'm not handling it right now.
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Uh, we got, you know, let's, let's keep it positive.
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Uh, but, but by the way, our healthcare system is completely fucked.
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Like, bro, I've never been so grateful in my entire life to be someone who is of financial
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ability and have good people and connections in my life than I have been the last two days.
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And what it brought attention to me, and I'll get into the details at a later time, but what
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it made me understand is there really is only certain ways to be free in our current society.
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It's very, very important for you guys to pursue success because I, what I witnessed
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made me really fucking sad for people that have to deal with these people and what they
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Um, you know, and I, I'm not too proud to admit, you know, it's been a minute since I've
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been out and, and, and had to live in the world that everybody else has to live in.
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You know, for a long time, I've been doing very well in life.
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Um, and that gives you options and, you know, that was the first, this is the first time
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I've been treated like everybody else in that regard in a long time.
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And it really fucking opened my eyes, some big problems.
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And it's actually motivated me to do more, even more than, than, than what we do here
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Because the way that some of these people were treated, bro, man, it fucking, it, it,
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it's a mixture of complete sadness and complete fucking anger.
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You know, like that dude we saw, that one dude we saw.
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You either better start fucking loving winning or you're going to fucking hate losing.
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And, and dude, unfortunately the only way to get around is to have some fucking connections
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And, um, I'll talk about that on a different show, but I can't get that angry again.
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Let's, uh, by the way, tell everybody where to follow you guys need to be following DJ.
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Uh, guys follow me on, uh, IG at officially D Johnson.
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We're going to start doing a lot more content together and, um, you know, video stuff with
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the new platform and more comedy stuff and actually for all the guys here.
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So you're going to get to know all of them a lot better, but, uh, um, make sure you're
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Let's, uh, let's get this in, uh, any question number one, Andy, I'm in the process of starting
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I have been a leader with my current employer for a few years.
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I've made a significant impact on the development of its leaders.
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As I prepare to open this business, I've always envisioned starting it with new employees and
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However, there have been several leaders at my current job, uh, that have expressed a
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I have never poached people and would never want to steal people from a previous employer.
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But then again, I care about these people and know that my business and culture would
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have a profound impact on their life and leadership journey.
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How do you know you're going to be a great operator of a business and you're not just
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And for that reason, my, my answer to that question would be another question, which is
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how do you know you're doing the best for these people that you say you genuinely care
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about by removing them from a stable situation where they have, they're doing well, uh, to
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And I'm, I'm saying this, I'm not trying to knock you.
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I understand why you think the way you think, but we also have to be real that operating
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a business and working inside of a business are completely fucking different things.
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And if you truly care about those people, then how I would look at it is, okay, I need
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to go out and make sure that I can take care of these people because that's the real leadership,
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dude, like, like you guys think, not you guys, but most people think that owning a business
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is about getting wealthy and, and, you know, like you guys see this, like, you know, the
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big houses and the cars and the fucking private travel and all these things, but that's not
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What it's really about is your ability to care for the people inside your organization and
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to lead the organization in such a way that they are able to, uh, succeed within that.
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And so, you know, what about these people's families?
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What, you really don't know what you think, you know, is what I'm trying to point out because
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you might be really good inside and you might have a big learning curve on the outside.
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Now I'm not saying you can't do it because you probably can't.
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But what I am saying is there's going to be a learning curve.
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And so maybe the way to think about this would be a little bit like, maybe I should go
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Before I get these people to give up whatever it is over here.
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And that's, I think that's the responsible way.
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If you really care, like you say you do, I think that's the responsible way to look
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Um, you know, leadership in an organization, like for me, like this is no long, and it
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hasn't been for a long time, but like what I do is no longer about me.
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It's about them and because it's about them, that's why our organization continues to move
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And the most pressure that I feel as an entrepreneur and the things that keep me up at night are
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It's about the people in my organizations, even you guys in this room that I want to make
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sure that I'm creating the best opportunity for you guys and for these guys out here, out
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And though that's the pressure, the pressure is not greed.
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Like I fucking have every, every fucking thing that I could ever want.
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Like I really don't like, dude, I have an expense, a very expensive, unique car that I've
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been trying to get delivered to my house for two fucking weeks.
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And I haven't been able to get it delivered because I'm so busy trying to make sure that
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And, you know, that's what it ends up being about.
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And if you're not really about that life, if you're not really about building something
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for the people within your organization where they can also succeed, they will never be bought
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in and you'll never have the opportunity to have a nice car like that delivered to your
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So there's a skewed way of thinking that I think is completely wrong where, you know,
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I'm talking about from employee standpoint of opportunities that they can do without having
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to live within the framework of someone else's dream, right?
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That means that your dream has to fit their dream within it.
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And so it's very important for you to really, truly understand that if you want to grow
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And so we have a lot of people out there that are very driven and they're not understanding
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that the way to really get where you want to go is to make it about them.
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Because if you make it about them, guess what they're going to do?
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So if you really care about these people, you should go out, you should establish some real
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world results, keep in contact with them, be friendly with them, but understand that if
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you get them to leave their career and you end up fucking, bro, that's on you.
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You know, I have been doing this long enough where there's a number of individuals that
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I can recall by name that I think about all the fucking time that I know I fucking failed
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Knowing that they could, they could have been more like their potential.
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Now I'm not excusing the responsibility of everybody.
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Like, bro, like, look, every single one of those people, they had their problems too.
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So, you know, I think that's a more responsible way to think about it because when we get excited
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about a business, you know, everybody has these ideas about their business that it's
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And we're going to succeed and win and do all these things.
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And it's okay to want to have your friends involved.
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And that's very important because other people's way of life, other people's survival, other
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people's ability to feed their families relies on that.
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Because I've been doing this long enough to know what it feels like to fail that.
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You are going to experience that along the road, regardless of how careful you are.
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But when we're talking about a startup, there's a very high probability statistically that you're
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Most of the business concepts that I've personally tried have failed.
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Now, had I got all my fucking friends to leave their careers and join up in there, where
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I think that's the thing that you talk about, man.
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It's like that's the ethical entrepreneurship that I don't think, I think most people are
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But there has to be a really big part of ethical responsibility and decisions that are made.
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Well, it's a massive key to your own personal success.
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This isn't just some touchy-feely shit that I'm out here spewing because it sounds good.
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It's actually strategically important to your own personal success that you operate that
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You can win a little bit, but you can't win big.
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Andy, I'm a Marine Corps veteran just starting out on my career in the fire service.
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I was told by one of my instructors, who's fat and out of shape, that my attitude has come
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off as, quote, an arrogant asshole who thinks he's better than everyone else.
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From my perspective, I've been the most uplifting and team-driven person around and constantly
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Am I misunderstood or is there a fine line between trying to be a good leader and being
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I think that there could be a couple things going on there.
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One, if you're in good shape and he's not, there's a human level of fucking insecurity
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The leadership structure that you're in doesn't fucking matter.
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Because as a man, he's recognizing that you are a more equipped male species than he is.
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There's going to be some natural jealousy there just because of the way that people are wired.
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So as someone who's trying to become a good leader, you, you need to be aware of that.
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And it sounds like maybe you're not aware of that.
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And maybe what could fix this situation would be a conversation with that leadership saying,
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hey, look, bro, I'm not trying to step on your toes.
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I'm actually trying to do this and this and this and maybe get closer to that person as
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opposed to trying to fight that person, especially if they're actually in a leadership position
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where they have control over where you go and how you move.
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You're very, you, it's very rare that in, and you could say this is right or wrong, but
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It's very rare that someone in a leadership structure will leapfrog somebody, right?
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Like this man has some fucking power over your position development.
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I'm not saying any of that shit like you guys interpret.
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But what I'm saying is maybe understand where he's coming from on that aspect and maybe,
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And I'm not saying like, hey, look, I know you're fat and I'm ripped.
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And like, you know, that's not what I'm saying.
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What I'm saying is maybe make your intentions, communicate them a little better to your leadership
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and say, hey, look, dude, I'm trying to do this and this and this and this and this.
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And we're definitely on the same page with that.
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And here's the resistance I'm feeling from you.
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That, that's the first thing that could really be affecting it.
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But what you can do is you can help that leader actually be better by understanding,
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by being smart and understanding that there are some insecurities there and you don't want
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You want to, you want to be aware of them and then tactfully navigate those things.
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And maybe it's something like you invite the dude to train with you.
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Maybe it's something like you actually help pick them up and be better.
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And like, you know, maybe this could be your best fucking friend that you've ever fucking
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Actually, most of my best friends, I fucking hated when I met them.
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Like most of my best friends, I fucking hated when I first met them.
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So like, we, we have to, we have to like, be aware of that.
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You know, like your competitors usually end up being the people that you can relate with
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And some of the most rewarding relationships I have in my life started out with being
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competitive, including my own fucking business partner, bro.
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We played the same positions on both sides of the ball.
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And Chris was a better fucking athlete than me.
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We've done some cool shit together because we were able to put that aside.
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And dude, one of the things that makes Chris and I's relationship and Sal's and I's, bro,
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Like, what makes our relationships actually work is the respect and understanding of each
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other's insecurities and to not poke on them, but actually pull them along with you.
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Well, I mean, being honest too about the strengths and weaknesses.
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Like, it does no good to pretend that you are better at something than you actually are.
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You have to have a realistic view of yourself if you want to improve.
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Like, I know the things that Sal is much better than me at.
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And I know that he knows the things that I'm better at.
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There's things that Chris is much better than me at, and there's things that I'm better
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And we value that in each other instead of compete over it.
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Because you don't want to do the shit that he's good at.
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Well, the funny thing is, is when it comes to Chris, we are naturally good at the opposite
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When it comes to Sal, we're actually both really good at the same fucking things.
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And that's why every two years or three years, we get in a fucking literal fist fight.
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Out of all those battles comes mutual love and respect.
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Like, bro, I'd kill motherfuckers for either one of them dudes.
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Like, bro, if they called me, like, just in that movie, the town where that dude's like,
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So maybe this is an opportunity for you to develop that with your current leadership.
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Andy, our third and final question, question number three.
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I started an apparel company, and I've had it for about four years now.
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I can tell my fire and passion to learn more and grow in this area is starting to diminish.
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Uh, I'm not sure if it's a really long, rough patch right now, um, that I need to just work through.
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But I've heard you always say the magic is in not quitting.
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But at what point, if there is one, do you pivot and turn your attention to starting over or building another business?
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If your heart isn't in it, uh, and especially isn't in what you're, what you're doing anymore.
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So there is not a single thing that any of you could do that you will do from here today until the end of your life that you're going to feel good about all the time.
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It's not going, it's not, it's not a realistic expectation.
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And a lot of the real, the unrealistic expectation around this comes from these fuckers online that I talk shit about all the time, which are these overly fucking touchy feely, you know, spiritual fucking sort of victim culture type personalities.
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Because the moment you're out of that, you start feeling like a piece of shit for not feeling that way.
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And they make it feel like you're completely off base for feeling a little bit, uh, not in it or even a lot not in it.
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If you think that I love being in doing what I do every fucking day, you're fucking insane.
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Like there are days that I've literally, and bro, you know this, that I want to fucking murder people.
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And by the way, there's stints of time where I'm angry at like everybody in our fucking company has nothing to do with them.
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And so you have to understand that as a human, we are going to go through ebbs and flows of feeling great and loving what we do.
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And then feeling like, fuck, dude, I'm wasting my fucking life.
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And this idealistic idea that everything is sunshine and rainbows all the fucking time does way more harm than good because what it does is it convinces people like this person who's asking this question to stop the minute.
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And if you do that and the natural tendency for human beings is to go with ebbs and flows and you quit whatever it is you're fucking doing.
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Every time it starts to get that way, how can you ever become what it is you're trying to become?
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Because whatever it is that you do, whether it's, you know, like, bro, right now, like you, like right now, like I fucking love what I do because I just got off fucking this massive injury.
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I'm getting excited about all these new things that we have going on.
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What had it, what would have happened if I'd come in here the last year, the last 12 months where I've been struggling mentally because I couldn't physically be involved in what the fuck we actually do.
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I'm going to go sell fucking butterfly memorabilia.
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So we can't jump from thing to thing, the thing, the thing, every fucking time we're not feeling our heart in it.
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You have to take a step back and be aware of yourself and aware of the reality that as a human being, it's just like a marriage or it's just like a friendship or it's just like anything.
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Like, bro, there's times where you are not going to look at your best friend and be like, you know, super fucking, you're going to be like, man, I'm fucking kind of tired of that.
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And then you don't talk for a couple of weeks and then guess what?
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It goes right back to the way it was and things are good.
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And like, dude, these are things that we have to understand as human beings are reality and operating outside of reality in the idealistic mindset, which is so popular on the fucking internet.
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You know, all you motherfuckers get sucked into this shit and you don't understand that you're starting to believe that the world is a way that it actually isn't.
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And then you feel like you're screwing up and it actually does screw you up because you're making decisions that aren't in line with reality.
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And so my advice to you would be for you to realize that what you're going through is absolutely normal and you have years of experience in this company, which by the way, I'm also in that kind of industry and it's very difficult.
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And so we have to be aware of that as entrepreneurs and people who are pursuing success, that if we quit every single time that we don't feel like it or that we get burnt out or that we lose our heart, you know, or a heart sign in it, bro, you can't get anywhere just by pure fucking default.
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Like, it's just, if you, if you run a fucking marathon, okay.
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And every time you get tired at six miles in or 10 miles in or 11 miles in or 20 miles in, how can you ever finish the fucking race?
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There's no motherfucker that ever finished a fucking marathon that finished the marathon thinking, man, that was fucking easy.
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There's no motherfucker that completely transformed their entire body.
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This will, that will teach you what I'm talking about.
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It will, it will literally teach you and fucking less in 75 days and over the course of a year to understand the concept I'm talking about is that you have to push through even when you're not in it mentally or fucking heart wise.
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Even sometimes it's like you can't, but you got to make yourself do it.
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It's in the discipline that you're creating by pushing through these difficult times.
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And every time you push through that in your business, you're becoming a more effective, more formidable, more dangerous entrepreneur.
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And a more well-rounded human being, to be completely honest.
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If you don't do it, you're going to suck in life.
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So my advice to you would be, say, have a real conversation with yourself.
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And I could tell you from my experience that there's a 99.999% chance that you're going through a fucking phase.
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Would you say that it would be safe to do, like, maybe give yourself, like, an ultimatum?
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Like, okay, listen, I'm going to put the next 100 days.
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At the end of that 100 days, I'm still not there?
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You could say, hey, I'm going to give the next 100 days everything I fucking got and then see how I feel.
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But you got to make sure that you actually give 100% of those 100 days.
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Because what will end up happening is you'll create a new life and a new passion and a new momentum for your business.
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Think of all the shit you've gone through to get where the fuck you are.
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Think of all the struggle, all the pain, all the conversations, all the disappointments, all the wins, all the cool stuff.
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And have a real honest conversation about evaluating that and then asking yourself, do you want to go through that all over again with something else?
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Because those first four years are the fucking hardest, bro.
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And if you quit now, you're going to be quitting your whole entire life.