REAL AF with Andy Frisella

00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to

00:00:20.840 the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.

00:00:24.820 Guys, today we've got a real talk and it is, you know, New Year's. So I figured I'd give

00:00:30.320 you a New Year's message. You know, when I grew up, I had very little talent. I have

00:00:37.220 very little gifts. I was fat. I was lazy. I was made fun of. I was bullied. I was picked

00:00:43.580 on my entire grade school, junior high experience. Okay. When I got into high school, I was still

00:00:51.240 fat. I was still lazy. I still didn't understand what needed to happen for me to become a good

00:00:57.620 student. I got C's and D's out of 126 people in my class. I was ranked like 115. That's

00:01:05.920 where I was. All right. When I went to my guidance counselor and I said, Hey man, I want to go

00:01:11.000 to Notre Dame because I was actually pretty decent at playing sports. Okay. And the reason

00:01:15.680 I was decent with playing sports because my dad dedicated most of his time to helping

00:01:20.280 me learn how to become a good athlete. But outside of the realm of sports, I never put

00:01:26.160 it together that you could work hard in these other areas and become successful. I thought

00:01:31.300 like a lot of other people think, which is you either have this or you don't have this.

00:01:36.660 And I struggle with that. Like most people, most people, you guys, you look around and you

00:01:43.540 see people doing things and you see people doing the things that you want to do. And you remember

00:01:48.660 all the things that people told you, like they told me the same things. Okay. These things like

00:01:53.620 Andy, you know, those schools are cream of the crop. You know, you're not cream of the crop.

00:01:57.720 Like I was told by my guidance counselor, which by the way, happened to be the most valuable thing

00:02:02.680 that anybody ever told me looking back. All right. But I was told by a lot of my friends and a lot of

00:02:08.800 people around me when I started my first business, like, what are you doing, dude? You need to get your

00:02:13.400 degree. You need to go to school. You need to do these things. You need to follow the systematic

00:02:18.400 plan for every single human being was what they were actually saying. They were saying, sit down.

00:02:25.100 They were saying, be quiet. They were saying, calm down and settle in and fall in line and be like us.

00:02:33.600 That's what they were saying. And that's what they said to you your whole life.

00:02:36.780 And so when we look at things that we want to accomplish or lives that we want to live,

00:02:43.360 we start to hear these things in our mind. We start to hear all of these things that people

00:02:48.660 told us all of these years about how incapable we are or how inadequate we are or how regular we are

00:02:57.280 or how dumb we are, how stupid we are, how fat we are, or how fucking lazy we are. And those things

00:03:03.500 stick with us, but they don't have to hold you back. You don't have to be the person who doesn't

00:03:10.580 live what it is they want to live because of what people said to you and the things that you can't

00:03:16.080 get out of your head. Because dude, if anybody gets this, I get it because those things are burned

00:03:22.280 into my mind. And at first those things kept me from even trying. They kept me from putting myself

00:03:30.360 out there. They kept me from really going hard at all areas of life because I believe them.

00:03:36.880 I believe what these people said. Dude, I come from a little gravel road in St. Louis, Missouri, bro.

00:03:44.140 There ain't nothing special about me. And I believe these people that I was supposed to be there and

00:03:49.300 stay there. And here we are 24 years later today.

00:03:54.860 Okay. And I own this company and I own these other companies and we employ thousands upon

00:04:03.200 thousands upon thousands of people across the globe. How did I do that? How did that happen?

00:04:11.920 If I was fat little Andy from the gravel road, how the fuck did that happen? If I was incapable,

00:04:18.040 like what they said, how did that happen? If I was lazy, if I was stupid, if I was dumb,

00:04:25.080 if I was inadequate, like they said, how did that happen? It happened very simply.

00:04:34.860 And it can happen for you, whatever your thing is. My thing was business. Now my thing is discipline

00:04:41.820 in all areas of life. Now my thing is I want to be the best that I've ever been every single day

00:04:47.560 that I wake up and roll out of bed. And I want you to really think about how you're living your life

00:04:54.100 today. We all have new year's resolutions. All of you guys are out there saying, oh, we're going to

00:04:59.560 do this and that and this. But the reality is, dude, you've been saying that for the last fucking

00:05:03.540 how many years, how many years have you been saying the same exact thing? And I'm not saying

00:05:08.760 this to be a dick. I'm just saying it. How many years? Why haven't you been able to accomplish

00:05:14.700 these things? Why are you still in the same situation? Why have you not been able to break

00:05:20.240 free? And I'm telling you, the answer is simple. The answer is very, very simple. And it's this,

00:05:28.200 you lack the skills necessary to execute day in and day out. And the skills that I'm talking about,

00:05:37.080 you guys view as traits. You view them as things that other people have. When you see other people

00:05:43.460 that are great, you see what they have and you think, man, I wish I had what that person had.

00:05:51.380 But what you have to understand is that you do have what these people have. You do have the ability

00:05:58.500 to do the things that they do. And if you would just stop listening to the stories that have been

00:06:04.680 blasted into your brain for the last however many years about how shitty you are, and you just focused

00:06:11.940 on taking the actions to move forward, you would realize that all of that is bullshit. Those people

00:06:18.740 that told you those things about yourself do not know anything about what's actually possible for

00:06:26.560 a human being who will continue to move forward regardless of what's happening. There are only a few

00:06:34.700 things required for you to actually break out of that. And the first thing is this, you must realize

00:06:41.360 that the people who abused you, the people who bullied you, the people who called you names,

00:06:46.780 the people who said you couldn't, all of those people are projecting their own inadequacies and their

00:06:53.520 own understanding that they will never be anything great onto you. And you're allowing that to keep you

00:07:01.120 from taking action. So the first thing that you have to do is you have to understand that they are full

00:07:07.700 of shit. Those people, the same people who told me all the bad shit about me, are doing the exact same shit

00:07:17.420 24 years later that they were doing 24 years ago. And you may not have that perspective because you haven't

00:07:24.720 gone down the journey yet, but I can promise you that if you do go on the journey and you do persevere

00:07:32.520 and you do push through, you will realize that it was comical that these people were telling you what

00:07:40.600 you were actually incapable of achieving. So instead of you focusing on it, instead of you being frustrated

00:07:48.320 about it, instead of you not taking action or not doing the thing that lives inside your mind and

00:07:54.780 your heart, instead of letting it affect you that way, start letting it drive you. The thing that my

00:08:01.540 guidance counselor said to me about not being cream of the crop, I have spent the last 24 years

00:08:06.400 shoving it down that motherfucker's throat, period. Okay. And it feels good. And he's, he's not with us

00:08:14.320 anymore, but I promise you that he's up there in heaven because he was a good man and he was trying

00:08:19.740 to tell me the right thing. And in fact, he was trying to buffer me from the harsh reality of how

00:08:24.900 the world was going to treat someone who was lazy as fuck, who was undisciplined, who was unable to

00:08:31.040 figure out that I needed to focus on certain areas where I wanted to be great. He understood that

00:08:36.500 concept and he understood that I lacked that. And he was preparing me for the ass beating that was about

00:08:42.060 to ensue. And guess what? He was right. But I took that statement and I got pissed about it. And I

00:08:49.580 say, you know what, motherfucker, I'm going to fucking show you. And I ran with every single thing

00:08:55.120 that one of these motherfuckers told me, and I've made it my mission to prove them fucking wrong.

00:09:01.140 And you will have people who will say, well, that's no reason to succeed. Well, notice that all the people

00:09:05.280 that say that haven't built anything. Pay attention to what they fucking built. Okay. So the first

00:09:11.200 things first, take all this shit that you think people think about you and start using it to run

00:09:17.360 faster. Start using it as fuel, put it up there on your shoulder, see it as a whole nother type of

00:09:23.520 fucking energy source. And when you don't feel like doing shit, pull upon these hurtful things that

00:09:28.220 people have put into you to move forward. That's number one. Number two, understand that you are only

00:09:37.400 lacking a very simple skillset that you need to have to succeed. Most of us, every single year we

00:09:44.180 come in and we say, Oh, this is going to be the year. This is going to be the year. This is going

00:09:48.660 to be the year. And we tell ourselves this over and over and over again until we are fucking dead.

00:09:53.680 And none of the shit that we tell ourselves every single year ever comes to fruition because by the

00:09:59.960 time Thursday or Friday of this week comes around, your old homies start calling, you know,

00:10:05.320 all the weak people that say they want to do the same shit you do. But by Thursday or Friday,

00:10:10.360 you guys are group thinking yourself into a community drinking session to justify your

00:10:16.740 coming off the fucking path already. Okay. You have to understand the reason that you have to keep

00:10:24.420 going through this process over and over and over and over and over again is because you lack

00:10:30.220 discipline, you lack the ability to push through things when you don't feel like doing it. You

00:10:37.460 value motivation. You're motivated today. Motherfucker. Everybody's motivated today.

00:10:43.300 Every single person in this country has motivation today. They're telling themselves the same story.

00:10:48.940 They told themselves over and over and over and over again for the last fucking however many years

00:10:53.560 about what they're going to do. And they know in their heart, they're not going to do it.

00:10:57.700 They're anxious about it. They have a pit in their stomach. They know it's not going to happen.

00:11:02.700 They know they're not going to do it. And the reason they know they're not going to do it is

00:11:06.480 because they lack the skill necessary to do it. And most of the time, 99% of the time,

00:11:13.160 it's because they misunderstand that discipline is a skill and not a trait. It is not something that

00:11:19.960 someone is born with. Michael Jordan was not born with fucking discipline. Michael Jordan created

00:11:26.000 discipline. He's the greatest fucking achiever athlete of all fucking time. This dude did not

00:11:32.020 create discipline until he was kicked off his fucking high school basketball team. Okay. Then

00:11:38.700 he figured it out and we all figured it out different places. And I didn't figure it out

00:11:43.140 until I was about 35, 36 years old. Okay. So whatever age you're at, wherever you're at,

00:11:49.500 make today the day that you understand that it is your duty. It is your obligation to yourself

00:11:55.700 and every single person around you to cultivate this skill of discipline. This is why I built 75

00:12:03.540 hard. This is why I built live hard. And this is also why I give it away for free. If you want the

00:12:09.780 program, it's in its entirety in episode 208. There's a book about it. You don't even have to buy,

00:12:15.640 but if you're somebody who has to know every single detail, you can buy the book. I appreciate

00:12:20.420 it. I think you'll get a lot out of it, but you don't need it. Okay. But what you do need is you

00:12:26.540 need to understand that this thing that is keeping you from being where you want to be because you

00:12:32.620 were unable to control anything. You can't pass up on the guys night out or the girls night out this

00:12:39.420 coming Thursday or Friday or Saturday because you lack the ability to make decisions in the

00:12:45.620 short term that will benefit you in the longterm. You value instant gratification more than delay

00:12:52.920 gratification. The reason you do is because you've never committed long enough to understand how big

00:12:58.340 the payout is on the delay gratification. All right. So here's what I want you to do. And this is the

00:13:04.880 second part. I want you today to decide I am going to become disciplined. That should be your only

00:13:14.020 fucking goal. Because if you develop the ability to say no to the guys nights and the girls nights,

00:13:21.380 if you have the ability to say no to the alcohol at any time, if you have the ability to say, no,

00:13:28.300 I'm not eating that. I'm not putting that in my mouth because I'm working on this project.

00:13:32.820 If you develop that discipline at that basic level, how different will your life look a year from now?

00:13:40.220 What will you not accomplish that you think in your mind you want to accomplish if you develop that

00:13:46.820 level of discipline? How much difference will it make in your life? How much difference will it make

00:13:52.460 in your finances? If you're able to execute on all the shit you need to do in your career and do it

00:13:58.400 perfectly and then do more because you're so fucking good at getting shit done that you can actually do

00:14:03.980 more in less time, okay? What's that going to do for your finances? How many times have you told

00:14:10.100 yourself you're going to get serious about your business or get serious about this project or get

00:14:14.660 serious about your career? How different would your body look if you had done what you said three or

00:14:21.840 four years ago? What would you look like today? What would you feel like? Now think about that in every

00:14:28.780 single area of your life. Think about it in your fitness. Think about it in your business. Think about it in your

00:14:33.640 relationships. What would your life look like if you had the ability to remove the power of external

00:14:41.680 circumstances from affecting your decision-making? What would your life look like? Because this here,

00:14:48.480 what I'm talking about, is the key to you accomplishing anything that you want to accomplish.

00:14:55.120 The entire reason that fat little Andy became who Andy is today, and by the way, I got a long way to go,

00:15:01.820 bro. I'm not sitting up here on the mountaintop preaching to you guys. I'm with you guys. I have

00:15:06.120 a long way to go. I have a lot of shit I want to do, and I know that in the last four years when I've

00:15:12.620 figured out how to cultivate discipline in myself, I've been able to supercharge it, and I want you to

00:15:17.760 have that feeling too because, guys, for the longest time, I was just like what you see in society.

00:15:24.660 The shit that I talk shit on all the time, I was that person. That's why I'm so adamant about

00:15:30.260 talking shit about it. When I say to motherfuckers, like, hey, bro, you don't need a fucking rest day.

00:15:34.920 You've been resting your whole life. That's because I did that, okay? When I talk to you about

00:15:40.040 being able to say no to a fucking beer, the reason that that's so powerful is because for years and

00:15:46.500 years and years and years and years, I could not do that. I could not. If you walked up to me and you

00:15:51.320 handed me a fucking beer and I was on a diet, I would fucking drink the beer. No, a hundred times out of

00:15:56.400 a hundred. And I would tell myself this story about how it's okay. I would make up a justification.

00:16:02.180 I would say, oh, well, I don't get to see my buddy too much. Or, oh, well, you know, it's a special

00:16:07.640 occasion. Oh, well, you know, fuck, I need a little break. Motherfucker, I've been on a break my whole

00:16:12.240 fucking life. And you have too. Okay? So make this the time that you actually change. And the skill that

00:16:19.260 you need to get from where you are to where you want to go comes entirely from discipline. And you have to

00:16:27.980 build it. So no matter what your goals, no matter what your dreams, no matter what you're trying to do this

00:16:35.000 year, you must understand that cultivating a high level discipline is absolutely necessary. And it's necessary

00:16:41.700 for many reasons. Okay? Because when you start being disciplined, you start to get gritty. You start to

00:16:48.140 develop fortitude. You start to develop the ability to persevere. But here's what's more important.

00:16:54.280 You start to feel good about yourself. You start to believe in yourself. You start to have self-esteem.

00:17:00.260 You start walking with a little pep in your step. You got some confidence because now no longer do you

00:17:05.260 have inanimate external objects making the decisions for you. How fucking weak is that really, dude?

00:17:11.480 How weak is that? That you can't walk past a fucking beer or a bucket of beers or a fucking appetizer

00:17:19.440 platter or go to a restaurant and not order what is healthy for you off the menu? Dude, I live that life.

00:17:26.320 I know what that's like. I know how powerless that fucking feels, guys. I live that. And now I'm so far

00:17:34.080 past that and so far away from that that, like, I can't even relate to it anymore. And these things

00:17:40.680 that you are mystified by that you think are so difficult are really not that difficult. You just

00:17:47.200 have to push through. You have to make a commitment and you have to make a commitment for long enough

00:17:52.520 that the new habits start to step in. And by the way, 21 days ain't shit. I don't give a fuck what the

00:17:57.820 study says. OK, most times people will stick for some shit for 21. I didn't drink for 21 days. Oh,

00:18:04.560 I guess I'll celebrate with a drink on day 22. It makes no sense. OK, we need permanent change in

00:18:12.600 ourselves. We need permanent skill development ourselves. And we also need to understand that

00:18:18.220 when we develop these skills of discipline, of confidence, of self-esteem, all of these things

00:18:23.880 that are skills, their skills, we have to put into them to get out. OK, they don't just live inside of

00:18:30.920 us. When we start to do this, we also must understand that they go away when we abandon them.

00:18:38.680 You don't just build discipline and then you just have it forever. This is why when you see someone

00:18:45.160 who's where it is you want to be, they're usually working extremely hard every single fucking day.

00:18:51.980 And it's confusing to people. People look at it and they say, well, fuck, dude. Why is that guy

00:18:57.320 working so hard? He's already got it made. You're not putting together that the reason he's got it

00:19:01.420 made is because he works that hard. OK, that's what creates it. So let's get our minds realigned

00:19:07.220 in 23. Let's get our minds right, dude. Let's start valuing the proper things. Let's stop valuing

00:19:13.900 all of this shit that's keeping us from where it is we want to go. Let's stop valuing all the extra

00:19:20.200 partying and all the extra food and all the extra bullshit that all these fat motherfuckers

00:19:25.900 on the Internet tell you. Oh, take it easy, man. What are you doing? Why you got to count

00:19:30.420 calories on a holiday? Why you got to do bro? Look at their lives. Look at their lives. Their

00:19:36.940 lives do not represent lives that you want to live. These are people who are justifying their

00:19:42.940 own inability to stick to things and then making you feel like you should join their little

00:19:48.320 gang of mediocrity. That's not OK. That's not self-love. Self-love is knowing what's best for

00:19:56.400 you and doing it regardless of what's going on. That's self-love. OK, so if you're going to hear

00:20:02.620 anything, if you're going to think anything, understand that if you take the time to truly

00:20:10.020 build this skill in yourself, it is a fucking superpower. It is a superpower because now none of

00:20:18.300 these external circumstances, none of the other things that happen will get you off track ever

00:20:24.300 again. And what would your life look like, dude, if none of this shit ever got you off track?

00:20:31.540 What would it look like? You and I both know it would be completely different. It would be

00:20:37.680 completely different. Your finances would be different. You're wearing different size clothes.

00:20:42.720 You might have a different partner. You might have a different career. You'd definitely be making

00:20:47.980 more money. These things matter, bro. And I guarantee you that all of this shit that you are trying to do

00:20:54.260 this year is going to be reliant on your ability to say no to the shit that doesn't align.

00:21:00.680 How are you going to do that? How are you going to build that skill? Well, I recommend that you start

00:21:10.140 off with 75 home. I don't get any money for it. I don't fucking sell it. It's free, but it is the

00:21:17.340 only program on the planet that will cultivate the level of discipline that you need in all areas of

00:21:21.760 your life. It's episode 208. That's the last time I'm going to mention it today. But I want you

00:21:27.240 to whatever it is you do, whatever it is you decide to do. Understand that if you continue on

00:21:34.560 this cycle, that you have continuously done year after year after year after year, where you start

00:21:42.320 the year off and the first three or four days, you're like, fuck yeah, bro, I'm going to do all

00:21:46.800 this shit. And when the weekend rolls around and your friends call because they've already quit on

00:21:52.300 themselves and you join them, you are consciously joining the club of mediocrity. You are consciously

00:21:59.580 giving up your own life for that. And bro, I don't give a fuck what anybody says. Is your own life not

00:22:05.920 the most important thing in your life? And then let's think about this. What example are you setting?

00:22:12.940 We all bitch about the world. We're all pissed off about the world. It doesn't matter what your

00:22:17.600 political views. You think the world's fucked up. Well, what are you doing to contribute to the

00:22:21.620 greatness of it? What are you doing to inspire people? What are you teaching your kids? What

00:22:27.940 are you teaching your kids when you tell them every single year you're going to do all these

00:22:31.180 things and you never do them? What are they going to learn? How are their lives going to go because

00:22:36.260 of that? Maybe that's something you should think about because there's a lot of chatter in the world

00:22:41.560 about how fucked up things are, but I don't see a whole lot of people becoming the solution.

00:22:45.960 I don't see a whole lot of people understanding that it is their obligation to become the best

00:22:51.540 possible version of themselves, not just for themselves, not just so they can make more

00:22:56.480 money or be ripped or feel good about themselves or have confidence and love themselves, not just

00:23:01.460 for that, but because it shows other people that we love and care about in our lives, how

00:23:07.380 to do the same things. That's our journey. That's our obligation. That's what we're required

00:23:13.020 to fucking do here. You are a leader, whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, especially

00:23:18.460 if you have children, what are they learning from you? How are you leading them? It doesn't

00:23:25.420 matter what you tell them. If you tell them X, Y, Z, and you're doing ABC, they're going to fucking

00:23:30.260 do ABC. They're not going to do X, Y, Z. So what example are you setting? Because I'm getting real

00:23:37.580 sick of people complaining about what's going on in the world and not seeing any fucking thing done

00:23:41.500 about it in their own lives. Like I've seen people for the last three years bitch about what's

00:23:45.600 going on in the world and they still look like shit. They still aren't disciplined. They're

00:23:49.620 still fucking lazy. They're still fucking overweight. They're still telling me all this

00:23:54.660 shit they're going to do and not done any of it. Well, if that's the way you're going

00:23:58.300 to live, bro, you're just a sheep in the fucking matrix. You're never going to break the fuck

00:24:02.400 out of it. This is your life. This is the best it will be right now. If that's you that

00:24:07.120 I just described what you live right now, go look in the fucking mirror, go look at your

00:24:11.300 bank account, go look at your house, go look at your car, go look at your fucking kids,

00:24:14.680 look at your wife, look at your husband, look at everything because this is the best

00:24:18.600 it will get. This is the best it will get. So you're provided with a unique opportunity

00:24:24.260 today and you have the momentum today. Everybody does to make the decision that I am never fucking

00:24:31.420 going back. I am never, ever, ever going back because the way that your life looks right

00:24:37.740 now is a result of the person that you were for the last 30 days, 60 days, 90 days,

00:24:44.520 maybe for the last fucking five years, maybe the last 10 years, maybe 30 years, maybe 40

00:24:49.920 years. That's why your life is what it is today. But you have a fresh opportunity today

00:24:56.160 and every day to win today, win tomorrow and change the entire course of who you are and

00:25:03.720 decide to never go back to that because what you are right now is not who you are. What you

00:25:09.360 are right now is who you were then. And it's your decision whether or not you want to grow from that

00:25:15.820 point forward. And so, dude, while you guys sit here and talk about all this New Year's resolution

00:25:20.900 bullshit, why don't you just make this the last day of your entire fucking life that you ever

00:25:26.100 tolerate mediocrity ever again for yourself and make a real decision to change? Not a resolution,

00:25:32.260 but a list of shit you're going to do and actually get done because that's what champions do.

00:25:37.360 Champions do not make resolutions. They make lists of shit that they're going to do and then they

00:25:43.060 fucking do it. I appreciate you guys. I love you guys. I want you to kick some fucking ass. I want

00:25:49.120 you to have a great 2023 and I want you to realize that we, the people who are listening to this show

00:25:56.000 right here, right now, have the power to change everything if we change the example that we are

00:26:01.880 setting. I am committed to that. Are you?

00:26:04.960 Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a bowl. Fuck a stove. Counted millions

00:26:11.000 in the cold. Bad bitch. Booty swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold. Doesn't know. Headshot. Case closed.

450. The Only Resolution You'll Ever Need

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