REAL AF with Andy Frisella


450. The Only Resolution You'll Ever Need


Episode Stats


Harmful content

Misogyny

2

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Hate speech

13

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Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

You don t have to be the person who doesn t live what it is they want to live because of the things people told you your whole life. You don t need to be stuck in the old patterns and old ways of thinking that keep you from living your best life.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to
00:00:20.840 the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.
00:00:24.820 Guys, today we've got a real talk and it is, you know, New Year's. So I figured I'd give
00:00:30.320 you a New Year's message. You know, when I grew up, I had very little talent. I have
00:00:37.220 very little gifts. I was fat. I was lazy. I was made fun of. I was bullied. I was picked
00:00:43.580 on my entire grade school, junior high experience. Okay. When I got into high school, I was still
00:00:51.240 fat. I was still lazy. I still didn't understand what needed to happen for me to become a good
00:00:57.620 student. I got C's and D's out of 126 people in my class. I was ranked like 115. That's
00:01:05.920 where I was. All right. When I went to my guidance counselor and I said, Hey man, I want to go
00:01:11.000 to Notre Dame because I was actually pretty decent at playing sports. Okay. And the reason
00:01:15.680 I was decent with playing sports because my dad dedicated most of his time to helping
00:01:20.280 me learn how to become a good athlete. But outside of the realm of sports, I never put
00:01:26.160 it together that you could work hard in these other areas and become successful. I thought
00:01:31.300 like a lot of other people think, which is you either have this or you don't have this.
00:01:36.660 And I struggle with that. Like most people, most people, you guys, you look around and you
00:01:43.540 see people doing things and you see people doing the things that you want to do. And you remember
00:01:48.660 all the things that people told you, like they told me the same things. Okay. These things like
00:01:53.620 Andy, you know, those schools are cream of the crop. You know, you're not cream of the crop.
00:01:57.720 Like I was told by my guidance counselor, which by the way, happened to be the most valuable thing
00:02:02.680 that anybody ever told me looking back. All right. But I was told by a lot of my friends and a lot of
00:02:08.800 people around me when I started my first business, like, what are you doing, dude? You need to get your
00:02:13.400 degree. You need to go to school. You need to do these things. You need to follow the systematic
00:02:18.400 plan for every single human being was what they were actually saying. They were saying, sit down.
00:02:25.100 They were saying, be quiet. They were saying, calm down and settle in and fall in line and be like us.
00:02:33.600 That's what they were saying. And that's what they said to you your whole life.
00:02:36.780 And so when we look at things that we want to accomplish or lives that we want to live,
00:02:43.360 we start to hear these things in our mind. We start to hear all of these things that people
00:02:48.660 told us all of these years about how incapable we are or how inadequate we are or how regular we are
00:02:57.280 or how dumb we are, how stupid we are, how fat we are, or how fucking lazy we are. And those things 0.89
00:03:03.500 stick with us, but they don't have to hold you back. You don't have to be the person who doesn't
00:03:10.580 live what it is they want to live because of what people said to you and the things that you can't
00:03:16.080 get out of your head. Because dude, if anybody gets this, I get it because those things are burned
00:03:22.280 into my mind. And at first those things kept me from even trying. They kept me from putting myself
00:03:30.360 out there. They kept me from really going hard at all areas of life because I believe them.
00:03:36.880 I believe what these people said. Dude, I come from a little gravel road in St. Louis, Missouri, bro.
00:03:44.140 There ain't nothing special about me. And I believe these people that I was supposed to be there and
00:03:49.300 stay there. And here we are 24 years later today.
00:03:54.860 Okay. And I own this company and I own these other companies and we employ thousands upon
00:04:03.200 thousands upon thousands of people across the globe. How did I do that? How did that happen?
00:04:11.920 If I was fat little Andy from the gravel road, how the fuck did that happen? If I was incapable,
00:04:18.040 like what they said, how did that happen? If I was lazy, if I was stupid, if I was dumb,
00:04:25.080 if I was inadequate, like they said, how did that happen? It happened very simply.
00:04:34.860 And it can happen for you, whatever your thing is. My thing was business. Now my thing is discipline
00:04:41.820 in all areas of life. Now my thing is I want to be the best that I've ever been every single day
00:04:47.560 that I wake up and roll out of bed. And I want you to really think about how you're living your life
00:04:54.100 today. We all have new year's resolutions. All of you guys are out there saying, oh, we're going to
00:04:59.560 do this and that and this. But the reality is, dude, you've been saying that for the last fucking 0.85
00:05:03.540 how many years, how many years have you been saying the same exact thing? And I'm not saying
00:05:08.760 this to be a dick. I'm just saying it. How many years? Why haven't you been able to accomplish
00:05:14.700 these things? Why are you still in the same situation? Why have you not been able to break
00:05:20.240 free? And I'm telling you, the answer is simple. The answer is very, very simple. And it's this,
00:05:28.200 you lack the skills necessary to execute day in and day out. And the skills that I'm talking about,
00:05:37.080 you guys view as traits. You view them as things that other people have. When you see other people
00:05:43.460 that are great, you see what they have and you think, man, I wish I had what that person had.
00:05:51.380 But what you have to understand is that you do have what these people have. You do have the ability
00:05:58.500 to do the things that they do. And if you would just stop listening to the stories that have been
00:06:04.680 blasted into your brain for the last however many years about how shitty you are, and you just focused
00:06:11.940 on taking the actions to move forward, you would realize that all of that is bullshit. Those people
00:06:18.740 that told you those things about yourself do not know anything about what's actually possible for
00:06:26.560 a human being who will continue to move forward regardless of what's happening. There are only a few
00:06:34.700 things required for you to actually break out of that. And the first thing is this, you must realize
00:06:41.360 that the people who abused you, the people who bullied you, the people who called you names,
00:06:46.780 the people who said you couldn't, all of those people are projecting their own inadequacies and their
00:06:53.520 own understanding that they will never be anything great onto you. And you're allowing that to keep you
00:07:01.120 from taking action. So the first thing that you have to do is you have to understand that they are full
00:07:07.700 of shit. Those people, the same people who told me all the bad shit about me, are doing the exact same shit
00:07:17.420 24 years later that they were doing 24 years ago. And you may not have that perspective because you haven't
00:07:24.720 gone down the journey yet, but I can promise you that if you do go on the journey and you do persevere
00:07:32.520 and you do push through, you will realize that it was comical that these people were telling you what
00:07:40.600 you were actually incapable of achieving. So instead of you focusing on it, instead of you being frustrated
00:07:48.320 about it, instead of you not taking action or not doing the thing that lives inside your mind and
00:07:54.780 your heart, instead of letting it affect you that way, start letting it drive you. The thing that my
00:08:01.540 guidance counselor said to me about not being cream of the crop, I have spent the last 24 years
00:08:06.400 shoving it down that motherfucker's throat, period. Okay. And it feels good. And he's, he's not with us
00:08:14.320 anymore, but I promise you that he's up there in heaven because he was a good man and he was trying
00:08:19.740 to tell me the right thing. And in fact, he was trying to buffer me from the harsh reality of how
00:08:24.900 the world was going to treat someone who was lazy as fuck, who was undisciplined, who was unable to
00:08:31.040 figure out that I needed to focus on certain areas where I wanted to be great. He understood that
00:08:36.500 concept and he understood that I lacked that. And he was preparing me for the ass beating that was about
00:08:42.060 to ensue. And guess what? He was right. But I took that statement and I got pissed about it. And I
00:08:49.580 say, you know what, motherfucker, I'm going to fucking show you. And I ran with every single thing
00:08:55.120 that one of these motherfuckers told me, and I've made it my mission to prove them fucking wrong.
00:09:01.140 And you will have people who will say, well, that's no reason to succeed. Well, notice that all the people
00:09:05.280 that say that haven't built anything. Pay attention to what they fucking built. Okay. So the first
00:09:11.200 things first, take all this shit that you think people think about you and start using it to run 0.81
00:09:17.360 faster. Start using it as fuel, put it up there on your shoulder, see it as a whole nother type of
00:09:23.520 fucking energy source. And when you don't feel like doing shit, pull upon these hurtful things that
00:09:28.220 people have put into you to move forward. That's number one. Number two, understand that you are only
00:09:37.400 lacking a very simple skillset that you need to have to succeed. Most of us, every single year we
00:09:44.180 come in and we say, Oh, this is going to be the year. This is going to be the year. This is going
00:09:48.660 to be the year. And we tell ourselves this over and over and over again until we are fucking dead.
00:09:53.680 And none of the shit that we tell ourselves every single year ever comes to fruition because by the
00:09:59.960 time Thursday or Friday of this week comes around, your old homies start calling, you know, 0.59
00:10:05.320 all the weak people that say they want to do the same shit you do. But by Thursday or Friday,
00:10:10.360 you guys are group thinking yourself into a community drinking session to justify your
00:10:16.740 coming off the fucking path already. Okay. You have to understand the reason that you have to keep
00:10:24.420 going through this process over and over and over and over and over again is because you lack
00:10:30.220 discipline, you lack the ability to push through things when you don't feel like doing it. You
00:10:37.460 value motivation. You're motivated today. Motherfucker. Everybody's motivated today.
00:10:43.300 Every single person in this country has motivation today. They're telling themselves the same story.
00:10:48.940 They told themselves over and over and over and over again for the last fucking however many years
00:10:53.560 about what they're going to do. And they know in their heart, they're not going to do it.
00:10:57.700 They're anxious about it. They have a pit in their stomach. They know it's not going to happen.
00:11:02.700 They know they're not going to do it. And the reason they know they're not going to do it is
00:11:06.480 because they lack the skill necessary to do it. And most of the time, 99% of the time,
00:11:13.160 it's because they misunderstand that discipline is a skill and not a trait. It is not something that
00:11:19.960 someone is born with. Michael Jordan was not born with fucking discipline. Michael Jordan created
00:11:26.000 discipline. He's the greatest fucking achiever athlete of all fucking time. This dude did not
00:11:32.020 create discipline until he was kicked off his fucking high school basketball team. Okay. Then
00:11:38.700 he figured it out and we all figured it out different places. And I didn't figure it out
00:11:43.140 until I was about 35, 36 years old. Okay. So whatever age you're at, wherever you're at,
00:11:49.500 make today the day that you understand that it is your duty. It is your obligation to yourself
00:11:55.700 and every single person around you to cultivate this skill of discipline. This is why I built 75
00:12:03.540 hard. This is why I built live hard. And this is also why I give it away for free. If you want the
00:12:09.780 program, it's in its entirety in episode 208. There's a book about it. You don't even have to buy,
00:12:15.640 but if you're somebody who has to know every single detail, you can buy the book. I appreciate
00:12:20.420 it. I think you'll get a lot out of it, but you don't need it. Okay. But what you do need is you
00:12:26.540 need to understand that this thing that is keeping you from being where you want to be because you
00:12:32.620 were unable to control anything. You can't pass up on the guys night out or the girls night out this
00:12:39.420 coming Thursday or Friday or Saturday because you lack the ability to make decisions in the
00:12:45.620 short term that will benefit you in the longterm. You value instant gratification more than delay
00:12:52.920 gratification. The reason you do is because you've never committed long enough to understand how big
00:12:58.340 the payout is on the delay gratification. All right. So here's what I want you to do. And this is the
00:13:04.880 second part. I want you today to decide I am going to become disciplined. That should be your only
00:13:14.020 fucking goal. Because if you develop the ability to say no to the guys nights and the girls nights,
00:13:21.380 if you have the ability to say no to the alcohol at any time, if you have the ability to say, no,
00:13:28.300 I'm not eating that. I'm not putting that in my mouth because I'm working on this project.
00:13:32.820 If you develop that discipline at that basic level, how different will your life look a year from now?
00:13:40.220 What will you not accomplish that you think in your mind you want to accomplish if you develop that
00:13:46.820 level of discipline? How much difference will it make in your life? How much difference will it make
00:13:52.460 in your finances? If you're able to execute on all the shit you need to do in your career and do it
00:13:58.400 perfectly and then do more because you're so fucking good at getting shit done that you can actually do
00:14:03.980 more in less time, okay? What's that going to do for your finances? How many times have you told
00:14:10.100 yourself you're going to get serious about your business or get serious about this project or get
00:14:14.660 serious about your career? How different would your body look if you had done what you said three or
00:14:21.840 four years ago? What would you look like today? What would you feel like? Now think about that in every
00:14:28.780 single area of your life. Think about it in your fitness. Think about it in your business. Think about it in your
00:14:33.640 relationships. What would your life look like if you had the ability to remove the power of external
00:14:41.680 circumstances from affecting your decision-making? What would your life look like? Because this here,
00:14:48.480 what I'm talking about, is the key to you accomplishing anything that you want to accomplish.
00:14:55.120 The entire reason that fat little Andy became who Andy is today, and by the way, I got a long way to go,
00:15:01.820 bro. I'm not sitting up here on the mountaintop preaching to you guys. I'm with you guys. I have
00:15:06.120 a long way to go. I have a lot of shit I want to do, and I know that in the last four years when I've
00:15:12.620 figured out how to cultivate discipline in myself, I've been able to supercharge it, and I want you to
00:15:17.760 have that feeling too because, guys, for the longest time, I was just like what you see in society.
00:15:24.660 The shit that I talk shit on all the time, I was that person. That's why I'm so adamant about
00:15:30.260 talking shit about it. When I say to motherfuckers, like, hey, bro, you don't need a fucking rest day.
00:15:34.920 You've been resting your whole life. That's because I did that, okay? When I talk to you about
00:15:40.040 being able to say no to a fucking beer, the reason that that's so powerful is because for years and
00:15:46.500 years and years and years and years, I could not do that. I could not. If you walked up to me and you
00:15:51.320 handed me a fucking beer and I was on a diet, I would fucking drink the beer. No, a hundred times out of
00:15:56.400 a hundred. And I would tell myself this story about how it's okay. I would make up a justification.
00:16:02.180 I would say, oh, well, I don't get to see my buddy too much. Or, oh, well, you know, it's a special
00:16:07.640 occasion. Oh, well, you know, fuck, I need a little break. Motherfucker, I've been on a break my whole
00:16:12.240 fucking life. And you have too. Okay? So make this the time that you actually change. And the skill that
00:16:19.260 you need to get from where you are to where you want to go comes entirely from discipline. And you have to
00:16:27.980 build it. So no matter what your goals, no matter what your dreams, no matter what you're trying to do this
00:16:35.000 year, you must understand that cultivating a high level discipline is absolutely necessary. And it's necessary
00:16:41.700 for many reasons. Okay? Because when you start being disciplined, you start to get gritty. You start to
00:16:48.140 develop fortitude. You start to develop the ability to persevere. But here's what's more important.
00:16:54.280 You start to feel good about yourself. You start to believe in yourself. You start to have self-esteem.
00:17:00.260 You start walking with a little pep in your step. You got some confidence because now no longer do you
00:17:05.260 have inanimate external objects making the decisions for you. How fucking weak is that really, dude?
00:17:11.480 How weak is that? That you can't walk past a fucking beer or a bucket of beers or a fucking appetizer
00:17:19.440 platter or go to a restaurant and not order what is healthy for you off the menu? Dude, I live that life.
00:17:26.320 I know what that's like. I know how powerless that fucking feels, guys. I live that. And now I'm so far
00:17:34.080 past that and so far away from that that, like, I can't even relate to it anymore. And these things
00:17:40.680 that you are mystified by that you think are so difficult are really not that difficult. You just
00:17:47.200 have to push through. You have to make a commitment and you have to make a commitment for long enough
00:17:52.520 that the new habits start to step in. And by the way, 21 days ain't shit. I don't give a fuck what the
00:17:57.820 study says. OK, most times people will stick for some shit for 21. I didn't drink for 21 days. Oh,
00:18:04.560 I guess I'll celebrate with a drink on day 22. It makes no sense. OK, we need permanent change in
00:18:12.600 ourselves. We need permanent skill development ourselves. And we also need to understand that
00:18:18.220 when we develop these skills of discipline, of confidence, of self-esteem, all of these things
00:18:23.880 that are skills, their skills, we have to put into them to get out. OK, they don't just live inside of
00:18:30.920 us. When we start to do this, we also must understand that they go away when we abandon them.
00:18:38.680 You don't just build discipline and then you just have it forever. This is why when you see someone
00:18:45.160 who's where it is you want to be, they're usually working extremely hard every single fucking day. 0.86
00:18:51.980 And it's confusing to people. People look at it and they say, well, fuck, dude. Why is that guy
00:18:57.320 working so hard? He's already got it made. You're not putting together that the reason he's got it
00:19:01.420 made is because he works that hard. OK, that's what creates it. So let's get our minds realigned
00:19:07.220 in 23. Let's get our minds right, dude. Let's start valuing the proper things. Let's stop valuing
00:19:13.900 all of this shit that's keeping us from where it is we want to go. Let's stop valuing all the extra
00:19:20.200 partying and all the extra food and all the extra bullshit that all these fat motherfuckers 1.00
00:19:25.900 on the Internet tell you. Oh, take it easy, man. What are you doing? Why you got to count
00:19:30.420 calories on a holiday? Why you got to do bro? Look at their lives. Look at their lives. Their
00:19:36.940 lives do not represent lives that you want to live. These are people who are justifying their
00:19:42.940 own inability to stick to things and then making you feel like you should join their little
00:19:48.320 gang of mediocrity. That's not OK. That's not self-love. Self-love is knowing what's best for
00:19:56.400 you and doing it regardless of what's going on. That's self-love. OK, so if you're going to hear
00:20:02.620 anything, if you're going to think anything, understand that if you take the time to truly
00:20:10.020 build this skill in yourself, it is a fucking superpower. It is a superpower because now none of
00:20:18.300 these external circumstances, none of the other things that happen will get you off track ever
00:20:24.300 again. And what would your life look like, dude, if none of this shit ever got you off track?
00:20:31.540 What would it look like? You and I both know it would be completely different. It would be
00:20:37.680 completely different. Your finances would be different. You're wearing different size clothes.
00:20:42.720 You might have a different partner. You might have a different career. You'd definitely be making
00:20:47.980 more money. These things matter, bro. And I guarantee you that all of this shit that you are trying to do
00:20:54.260 this year is going to be reliant on your ability to say no to the shit that doesn't align.
00:21:00.680 How are you going to do that? How are you going to build that skill? Well, I recommend that you start
00:21:10.140 off with 75 home. I don't get any money for it. I don't fucking sell it. It's free, but it is the
00:21:17.340 only program on the planet that will cultivate the level of discipline that you need in all areas of
00:21:21.760 your life. It's episode 208. That's the last time I'm going to mention it today. But I want you
00:21:27.240 to whatever it is you do, whatever it is you decide to do. Understand that if you continue on
00:21:34.560 this cycle, that you have continuously done year after year after year after year, where you start
00:21:42.320 the year off and the first three or four days, you're like, fuck yeah, bro, I'm going to do all
00:21:46.800 this shit. And when the weekend rolls around and your friends call because they've already quit on
00:21:52.300 themselves and you join them, you are consciously joining the club of mediocrity. You are consciously
00:21:59.580 giving up your own life for that. And bro, I don't give a fuck what anybody says. Is your own life not
00:22:05.920 the most important thing in your life? And then let's think about this. What example are you setting?
00:22:12.940 We all bitch about the world. We're all pissed off about the world. It doesn't matter what your
00:22:17.600 political views. You think the world's fucked up. Well, what are you doing to contribute to the
00:22:21.620 greatness of it? What are you doing to inspire people? What are you teaching your kids? What
00:22:27.940 are you teaching your kids when you tell them every single year you're going to do all these
00:22:31.180 things and you never do them? What are they going to learn? How are their lives going to go because
00:22:36.260 of that? Maybe that's something you should think about because there's a lot of chatter in the world
00:22:41.560 about how fucked up things are, but I don't see a whole lot of people becoming the solution.
00:22:45.960 I don't see a whole lot of people understanding that it is their obligation to become the best
00:22:51.540 possible version of themselves, not just for themselves, not just so they can make more
00:22:56.480 money or be ripped or feel good about themselves or have confidence and love themselves, not just
00:23:01.460 for that, but because it shows other people that we love and care about in our lives, how
00:23:07.380 to do the same things. That's our journey. That's our obligation. That's what we're required
00:23:13.020 to fucking do here. You are a leader, whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, especially
00:23:18.460 if you have children, what are they learning from you? How are you leading them? It doesn't
00:23:25.420 matter what you tell them. If you tell them X, Y, Z, and you're doing ABC, they're going to fucking
00:23:30.260 do ABC. They're not going to do X, Y, Z. So what example are you setting? Because I'm getting real
00:23:37.580 sick of people complaining about what's going on in the world and not seeing any fucking thing done 0.95
00:23:41.500 about it in their own lives. Like I've seen people for the last three years bitch about what's 1.00
00:23:45.600 going on in the world and they still look like shit. They still aren't disciplined. They're
00:23:49.620 still fucking lazy. They're still fucking overweight. They're still telling me all this
00:23:54.660 shit they're going to do and not done any of it. Well, if that's the way you're going
00:23:58.300 to live, bro, you're just a sheep in the fucking matrix. You're never going to break the fuck
00:24:02.400 out of it. This is your life. This is the best it will be right now. If that's you that
00:24:07.120 I just described what you live right now, go look in the fucking mirror, go look at your
00:24:11.300 bank account, go look at your house, go look at your car, go look at your fucking kids, 0.71
00:24:14.680 look at your wife, look at your husband, look at everything because this is the best
00:24:18.600 it will get. This is the best it will get. So you're provided with a unique opportunity
00:24:24.260 today and you have the momentum today. Everybody does to make the decision that I am never fucking 0.92
00:24:31.420 going back. I am never, ever, ever going back because the way that your life looks right
00:24:37.740 now is a result of the person that you were for the last 30 days, 60 days, 90 days,
00:24:44.520 maybe for the last fucking five years, maybe the last 10 years, maybe 30 years, maybe 40 0.96
00:24:49.920 years. That's why your life is what it is today. But you have a fresh opportunity today
00:24:56.160 and every day to win today, win tomorrow and change the entire course of who you are and
00:25:03.720 decide to never go back to that because what you are right now is not who you are. What you
00:25:09.360 are right now is who you were then. And it's your decision whether or not you want to grow from that
00:25:15.820 point forward. And so, dude, while you guys sit here and talk about all this New Year's resolution
00:25:20.900 bullshit, why don't you just make this the last day of your entire fucking life that you ever 0.99
00:25:26.100 tolerate mediocrity ever again for yourself and make a real decision to change? Not a resolution,
00:25:32.260 but a list of shit you're going to do and actually get done because that's what champions do.
00:25:37.360 Champions do not make resolutions. They make lists of shit that they're going to do and then they
00:25:43.060 fucking do it. I appreciate you guys. I love you guys. I want you to kick some fucking ass. I want
00:25:49.120 you to have a great 2023 and I want you to realize that we, the people who are listening to this show
00:25:56.000 right here, right now, have the power to change everything if we change the example that we are
00:26:01.880 setting. I am committed to that. Are you?
00:26:04.960 Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a bowl. Fuck a stove. Counted millions
00:26:11.000 in the cold. Bad bitch. Booty swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold. Doesn't know. Headshot. Case closed. 1.00