REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 498. Q&AF： First Impressions In Business, Handling Employees Quitting & Misconception About Loyalty

00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest sake of out of the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society. 0.99

00:00:23.460 Welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and I give you the answers. 0.96

00:00:30.000 If this is your first time listening, this is our question and answer show where you submit them and we answer them.

00:00:37.260 You can submit them one of two ways. First way is guys, email those questions in to ask Andy at andy for seller.com.

00:00:44.020 And also we are uploading the full length episodes on YouTube. If you go to the Q and AF episodes on YouTube and drop your question in the comments, don't forget to click subscribe on that one.

00:00:55.080 And we'll pick some from there as well. But if this is your first time listening, we have shows within the show.

00:01:00.520 This is Q and AF. Other times you tune in, you're going to see CTI. That stands for cruise the Internet.

00:01:05.360 That's where we put up on the screen three or four topics that we want to talk about.

00:01:09.320 We we laugh about them. We make fun of them. We speculate on what's going on.

00:01:13.880 And then we talk about how we can all work to be the solutions. The problems are going on in the world.

00:01:18.040 So other times you tune in, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is five to 20 minutes of me just giving you some real talk, just some stuff I think that would help you.

00:01:25.820 And then other times it's full length. That's what you're used to seeing on most everybody else's podcast where a bunch of people just sitting around having a conversation.

00:01:32.260 So that's the general basis of the show. Now, the show is based in personal development, entrepreneurship and business.

00:01:38.360 But we also cover a lot of things going on in society on the CTI episodes.

00:01:43.040 The reason we do that is because if we don't have the proper environment, it's impossible for us to produce fruit when it comes to our businesses.

00:01:50.720 Meaning if we don't have freedom, we don't have a business.

00:01:54.480 So it's important for us as entrepreneurs, as people who are driven to succeed, to keep an eye on what's going on in the world and understand how to navigate it.

00:02:03.760 So that's the gist of the show.

00:02:05.660 Now, in exchange for the information that we give on the show, we have a fee.

00:02:11.060 The fee is not monetary. I'm not asking you to send me money. I'm not asking you to buy my shit.

00:02:15.000 Although I do appreciate those of you that do support our companies, the fee is very simple. 0.98

00:02:20.860 I just ask for you to share the show.

00:02:24.360 If it made you think, if it made you laugh, if it gave you a new perspective, if it taught you something, if you walked away saying, man, that wasn't a waste of my time,

00:02:31.940 I would just appreciate if you shared the show.

00:02:33.560 We've been able to maintain a very, very, very high-ranked podcast for the better part of a decade based on word of mouth,

00:02:39.640 which I appreciate you guys for doing, and I'd like to continue that trend.

00:02:43.020 So if we provide value, please share it.

00:02:46.220 That can mean a story shared. That can mean a post.

00:02:48.860 That can mean telling a story about what it meant to you.

00:02:52.460 That can mean telling your friends, whatever it is.

00:02:54.600 We appreciate it, guys.

00:02:55.660 So that's when I say pay the fee. That's what I mean.

00:02:57.500 So that's the housekeeping for the show.

00:03:00.960 Today we have Q&A.

00:03:02.540 What's up?

00:03:03.060 What's up? Are you all right?

00:03:04.360 I don't know. Why?

00:03:05.360 I forget something?

00:03:06.560 You don't have a Fiji?

00:03:07.400 Yeah. You're drinking some peasant water.

00:03:09.180 Well, we're recording.

00:03:10.360 Yeah.

00:03:11.280 I got the peasant water today.

00:03:14.660 We're recording a little different time of the day, so my routine got messed up.

00:03:18.800 Yeah.

00:03:19.100 You know what I'm saying?

00:03:19.820 We're like an hour early.

00:03:21.300 Huh?

00:03:21.620 Yeah.

00:03:21.840 About an hour early.

00:03:22.320 Yeah. We're a couple hours early.

00:03:23.460 Yeah.

00:03:23.660 Yeah. So, you know, we'll see how it goes. Usually it takes me till about 2 p.m., which

00:03:29.220 is when we normally record, to really get full of enough energy and enough frustration 0.98

00:03:34.220 to really come in and deliver some straight fucking heat. 0.98

00:03:37.460 Right. 0.98

00:03:38.240 But today we're doing a little earlier, so maybe it won't be as hot. Maybe it will.

00:03:41.620 I don't know. We'll find out. What's going on with you?

00:03:44.360 Hey, man. You know, another day, another beautiful day, finally getting some good weather

00:03:48.300 in good old Missouri, which is always nice.

00:03:51.280 Yeah.

00:03:51.500 Yeah. Um, there's just something about getting some good vitamin D. I don't know.

00:03:56.400 Yeah. I like to give the vitamin D.

00:03:58.360 Yeah. You give it.

00:03:59.240 Yeah.

00:03:59.820 I'll take some.

00:04:00.720 I bet you will.

00:04:02.780 What? 0.99

00:04:04.480 Gay. 0.98

00:04:06.520 No, man. It's just nice, man. It's nice seeing blue skies and fucking suns up. 0.96

00:04:10.560 Yeah. It is, dude. The gray, the gray, um, the gray winter, man. It like, it's not the 0.98

00:04:15.740 cold either. Like when I'm in a place where it's sunny and it's cold and snowy, that's actually

00:04:19.300 some of my favorite weather. Yeah. But the grayness here in the Midwest, man, it's, uh,

00:04:24.940 it can get a little wearing on you.

00:04:26.240 Yeah. Bill Gates just turned down the machine.

00:04:28.260 Yeah, bro.

00:04:28.780 Just a little bit. That's all we need.

00:04:29.620 That's some sun, dude.

00:04:30.360 That's it.

00:04:30.820 Yeah.

00:04:31.200 That's it.

00:04:31.680 We'll buy your products. 1.00

00:04:33.280 Fuck, dude. 1.00

00:04:33.960 I couldn't imagine living in somewhere like up, like, uh, you know, the Washington, you 1.00

00:04:39.440 know, the, the, the Northwest where it's like very rainy and cloudy all the time.

00:04:43.320 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:43.920 Like y'all motherfuckers must be miserable up there. 1.00

00:04:45.760 Well, I mean, yeah, well, that's another episode. I couldn't imagine living in somewhere 1.00

00:04:50.180 like Alaska, bro, where like, it's dark for like 24 hours at a time.

00:04:54.660 Did you go to, did you go to Whistler when we went?

00:04:56.640 Um, a couple of years ago, we went to Whistler for a RTA event and it was like that. It got

00:05:02.620 dark. It's like stayed dark, super late and then got dark, super early and it was definitely

00:05:07.500 like different.

00:05:08.240 That's weird. I can't know. I, I think when people, people are starting to realize, man,

00:05:12.320 like how, how important sunlight we've talked about on the show, but just being outside in

00:05:17.860 the environment, like it does a tremendous, uh, benefit to your body. Right. I mean, it's

00:05:23.160 even linked to, you know, depression and certain shit like anxiety disorders and

00:05:26.580 things like that. So it's important, man. I'm just happy that it's here. 0.58

00:05:28.900 Sun recharges the body, man. That's the, one of the biggest lies told in the world,

00:05:33.020 you know, that like sun's bad for you. And, uh, you know, also like being wary of how much

00:05:38.300 you wear your sunglasses, because a lot of the vitamin D, um, we actually convert from

00:05:42.720 the sunlight that comes into our eyes. So it's important for us to like, I like sunglasses.

00:05:47.640 I think I look cool, but I try to, you know, make a conscious effort. And if you don't want,

00:05:52.080 if you don't want to do that, just make, you know, you don't want those sunglass tan lines.

00:05:54.780 So I try to spend about 50, 50, um, without my sunglasses, but anyhow, uh, what's going

00:06:02.740 on? Yeah, we got, well, I got some good ones for you. I bet you do. Got some good ones.

00:06:06.560 Let's, uh, let's, let's knock these out. Uh, Andy question. Number one, uh, we covered,

00:06:11.220 uh, first impressions a couple of episodes ago. So this one goes a little bit deeper.

00:06:15.220 Uh, we're talking about impressions in business. Uh, Andy, what are the first impressions you

00:06:19.920 look for when forming a relationship with someone important for your business? Uh, for example,

00:06:24.980 vendors or suppliers, what makes you choose them and what makes them stand out amongst the other

00:06:30.280 competitors? Well, I think it depends, man. I think I, I, I, in some scenarios in business,

00:06:36.120 you know, people have, uh, something that is very desirable. They have a service or a product or

00:06:42.540 something that you can only get from them. And in that case, if you need the product, it really

00:06:46.100 doesn't matter what you look for because it's exclusive. So that's, that's a real scenario

00:06:50.680 that happens oftentimes. However, most of the time we have options. So if we're running a business

00:06:55.720 and we're looking to, uh, you know, make the business work, there's a couple of things that

00:07:00.420 we got to take into account. One, um, you know, is it financially feasible for, for us to use this

00:07:07.080 company? Does it make sense? Is it going to make sense to our bottom line? That's something that we

00:07:11.820 always have to be aware of. You know, we talk a lot of, we talk a lot these days, especially

00:07:15.520 about feeling good or finding the right connection or finding something that we vibe with or believe

00:07:21.160 in. But the truth of the matter is, is that if we can't finance our business and we can't make

00:07:25.240 the numbers work, we don't have a business. So that's, that's the first thing that really,

00:07:28.840 I think you should look at, uh, as a true operator. Secondly, if there's multiple things

00:07:33.400 that make financial sense and maybe they don't, maybe, maybe one company makes a little bit more

00:07:37.680 financial sense and, uh, the other company, you know, you got to pay a little bit more and it costs

00:07:42.440 you a little bit of margin, but they're much better at what they do. Maybe they are, uh, they're better

00:07:47.180 on their service game or they're easier to get ahold of, or their supply chain is quicker or

00:07:52.880 whatever it may be. Sometimes it's worth it to go with the option that actually works better in terms

00:07:58.920 of everything else, but price, because the reality is guys, most cases in life, you get what you pay

00:08:03.220 for. That's the truth. All right. It's very, it's very rare in society. You know, people like to think

00:08:11.300 this way, but it's not actually true that, you know, the, the, the cheapest thing is the best. It's

00:08:18.340 usually not the case. Usually there is a price quality correlation that goes along with whatever

00:08:23.620 product or service is being offered. And, uh, typically the more someone charges, they're usually

00:08:29.100 providing value that can benefit you in other ways, strategically or service wise or other things

00:08:34.360 like that. Or maybe their quality is just that much better, but there's always a lot of reasons to be,

00:08:38.800 uh, or to evaluate what it is you're trying to choose. You know, for me, I like to work with

00:08:45.160 people that I like. I like to work with people that hold a high standard. I like to work with people

00:08:49.800 who don't fuck up. I like to work with people who pay attention to detail and who actually care about 0.98

00:08:54.780 what's going on on my end. And, uh, if that costs me a little bit more money, then that's what we'll

00:09:00.560 do because I think that's important to the operations of a business. You know, we have to be able to rely

00:09:05.660 on what people say and them delivering on what they promise for us to run what we run. Right. Um, and it

00:09:13.280 doesn't matter if it's, you know, supplements or fucking widgets or it doesn't matter. It's, it's a, 0.97

00:09:18.160 it's a, it's a idea that spans across all business. So, um, you know, I, I think it's

00:09:24.940 important to evaluate that a lot of people will just jump in with the cheapest thing. And like,

00:09:28.660 dude, you have to remember also in finished good products, whatever it is that you offer,

00:09:32.360 whether it's a hard product, whether it's service, whether whatever it is,

00:09:35.900 there is a price value correlation there too. So like you have to decide where you want to be in

00:09:39.960 the market. Do you want to be the discount brand? Do you want to be the medium brand? Or do you want

00:09:43.700 to be the premium brand? Personally, I prefer premium. I think that's the easiest thing

00:09:48.100 for me personally to deal with because I don't mind someone looking me in the eye and saying,

00:09:54.040 bro, I can't afford your stuff, but I hate someone looking me in the eye and saying, bro, 0.99

00:09:58.700 your stuff sucks. Doesn't work. Yeah. It bothers me. So like, and whether that be any of the 0.98

00:10:03.440 businesses that I'm in, I always like to play in the premium space because I feel like that I'm a

00:10:09.140 premium customer and how I evaluate products and services. And that's something that I can relate

00:10:14.440 to the most as an operator. And, and like I said, it's just, you know, you're going to

00:10:18.080 deal with one or the other. You're either going to deal with people saying, I don't like your

00:10:20.980 product. It's not good enough. Or you're going to deal with people saying, Hey, that product's

00:10:24.320 not for me because it costs too much. And either way, you're going to have people that don't want

00:10:28.180 your shit. So you have to just make a real good decision about where you want to be. And I think 0.99

00:10:32.620 there's room for all of those. There there's definitely, I think there's scientific proof that

00:10:38.140 there's room for a good, better, best options in any product category. So, um, to evaluate what the

00:10:45.060 best vendor is or the best strategic partner, you know, there's just a lot of variables that

00:10:49.100 go into play depending on where you're trying to operate from. And, uh, you know, it's not always

00:10:54.580 about money. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Have you seen also too, how much does, I guess,

00:10:59.900 time in business, uh, repudy of company play as a leverage factor, right? Like when you first started

00:11:05.620 in 99, or let's say from, you know, from, from 1999 to 2005, your, your reputation, your, your

00:11:13.080 business credit, if you will, right? Like how much has that changed versus where you are now when it

00:11:18.260 comes to getting these relationships? Oh, I think that matters. You know, I think, you know, when

00:11:22.340 you're, when you're an unknown and you're still new and people aren't familiar with your brand,

00:11:27.300 um, you get less favorable deals. You get less people that want to work with you. You get less

00:11:31.920 people that, and this is a reality. This is why you guys in business need to really stick it

00:11:35.480 out because eventually that part of it does get better. You know, back in the day, man,

00:11:41.360 um, you know, we had to, it's an interesting thing that it's an interesting question you brought up

00:11:48.060 because we kind of got lucky on this aspect. And when I tell you why we got lucky, here we go.

00:11:55.220 Yeah. Well, listen, listen, we did get lucky, but when I tell you why I was lucky, you're going to be

00:12:00.380 like, what the fuck? I was lucky to get stabbed in the fucking face. I was, 1.00

00:12:05.320 it was the best thing that ever happened to me for business because people started to remember

00:12:09.440 me. All right. So when we were new in business, I got stabbed in 2003 and nobody up until that

00:12:17.600 point, that was our three, uh, three years in business, but when in our fourth year and we had

00:12:23.120 the hardest, hardest, hardest time getting anyone to pay attention to us because we were not memorable.

00:12:29.460 We, we weren't recognizable. Nobody knew who we were. We were a little tiny bitty company. Um,

00:12:35.840 we had no business leverage whatsoever cause we didn't have any fucking money, bro. And like money 0.97

00:12:41.020 talks, bullshit walks when it comes to this shit. Right. So like pretty you want it to sound. 1.00

00:12:45.060 Yeah. Right. Like it's the reality. And so we had to leverage our other assets to get attention

00:12:50.560 from some of the companies that we wanted to work with. Right. Um, and you know, me getting stabbed

00:12:56.400 in the face made me very memorable because my face was very fucked up. It looks, it looks, I mean, 0.99

00:13:01.480 it's looks like gold now. Right. Like, but look at real talk, you know, my face was swollen the size

00:13:06.880 of a grapefruit for about a year. And, um, so I looked weird and, you know, as hard as that was for

00:13:14.220 me mentally to deal with, when I look back on it from where I am now, you know, and bro, I dealt with 0.95

00:13:20.260 suicidal thoughts, literally fucking all day long, every day. Um, probably, I mean, definitely the 0.82

00:13:26.360 hardest time of my life that I ever went through, no doubt. But when I look back on it, it was actually

00:13:31.700 something that really helped our business because I became memorable. It became something that people

00:13:36.120 talked about, whether it was good or bad. Right. And, you know, give you an example. Like we would

00:13:41.340 go to the Arnold or the Olympia back then and nobody knew who we were. Right. And people would,

00:13:46.480 would, would say, Oh, you know, the guys that own supplement super stores and people would be like, 0.98

00:13:51.880 no, I don't know who the, you know, Andy, he's the one with the fucking, you know, the thing, 0.96

00:13:56.400 right. Right. Right. Like, and, and, and I know this because people have told me this over the years 0.99

00:14:01.120 that it actually made them remember us. So, you know, that really helped us become memorable,

00:14:06.360 uh, and allowed us to really meet some really good people that took good care of us through the

00:14:10.760 years. Uh, there's some people that I'm eternally indebted to because of the things that they did to

00:14:15.520 help us along the way, uh, to guide us, to teach us. And this is why I support people even in my own

00:14:21.000 space, um, who are not as far along as I am, because like, I think that's the duty, right? Like,

00:14:26.760 like, I'm now I'm, now I'm that person and I have a responsibility to pay that back and really help 0.65

00:14:33.320 the smaller guys figure out what the fuck they're doing, which is why, you know, a lot of people, 0.76

00:14:37.500 you know, they see me talking to some of the owners of these other companies or hanging out 0.98

00:14:41.000 with them and shit. And they look at it. They're like, what the fuck is that about? Well, bro, 0.98

00:14:44.380 that's, that's a moral obligation that we have to help the people come behind us to run the path

00:14:49.700 the right way. And so I'm just repaying what was done to me. You see what I'm saying? But, uh,

00:14:54.360 you know, as you get to back to the point, as you become more recognizable and as you become

00:14:59.660 more successful, people start to come to you. And then when you get, when you get like to a

00:15:04.660 decent size, and when I say decent, when you get into that, you know, that, that eight to nine

00:15:09.540 figure range, high eights, low nines, people are knocking your door down to come do business with

00:15:15.040 you. So like the whole dynamic changes if you stick with it long enough, that make sense?

00:15:19.700 Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. But the principles of how you get those deals remain the same.

00:15:23.720 Yeah, for sure. For sure, bro. And look, this is the long game. A lot of you guys in business are

00:15:27.840 so impatient. You don't understand that this is going to take, this is not going to take a couple

00:15:31.500 of years. This is going to be your life, you know, and treating people right, doing the right

00:15:37.420 thing over the long haul, you know, um, bro, there's not a motherfucker in this space, in my 0.98

00:15:43.260 spaces, in any of the space I'm in, not a single motherfucker, not a single one that could say that 0.98

00:15:47.920 I haven't done anything, but try to help them. Not a single one. They might, they might say, 0.99

00:15:52.100 oh, watch out for Andy because he's a fucking tough competitor. They might say that, but I have 0.99

00:15:56.460 never, ever, ever, ever fucked a person in business. I've always tried to help. I've always

00:16:01.160 tried to push down the road. And a lot of times, um, people are taken aback by that. They're like,

00:16:06.500 what's this dude want? Why is he talking to me? Why is he trying to help? And it's like, bro,

00:16:09.740 I'm just trying to do what other people did for me because I feel like it's the right thing to do. 0.98

00:16:13.300 So, um, you know, and yeah, you can make sure things like, do you want the fucking hammer? 0.79

00:16:18.940 Like, no, no, it's not that like when I was younger, bro, I was, I w you know, it was different, 0.95

00:16:23.700 but now like we've gotten to a point now where I realized like where I'm, I kind of realized where

00:16:29.000 I'm at. Right. Like I'm, I'm very small where I want to go to, but for the space that we're in,

00:16:34.700 we're, we're very successful and recognized for that. And so I see a lot of smaller companies

00:16:38.740 that really struggle, but bro, some of these owners of these other companies that are a little 0.98

00:16:42.700 bit behind us, or maybe even a lot behind us, these are my best fucking friends. And you know, 0.98

00:16:47.200 this because I talked to them on our walks. I'll talk to some of the owners of these other companies

00:16:51.400 for fucking two hours, multiple times a week, trying to help them work through the shit. 1.00

00:16:55.780 Yeah. So, and I give it, I give it away for free because you know, there's, there's no shortage 1.00

00:17:02.020 of business available. Um, and especially when it comes to, you know, helping people,

00:17:06.800 I think it's just a good karmic thing to do. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

00:17:12.540 Uh, moving right along guys. Question number two, Andy, Andy, I've been in business for four years.

00:17:18.580 I have seven full-time employees and I just had my first employee quit on me. Um, I wouldn't say

00:17:24.800 he was a key player, but the absence and increased workload is definitely noticed. He never complained

00:17:31.000 or brought any issues to me directly. Um, but I have just learned recently through another employee

00:17:35.560 of mine, but he did not trust quote, aggressive offensive direction. I'm taking the company,

00:17:41.440 uh, during these troubling times and did not believe in my abilities to win.

00:17:45.940 How did you look at people quitting early on in business? And how should I look at the situation

00:17:51.200 as I'm now starting to second guess my decisions, man, this is a really good question. There's you

00:17:56.380 guys, you really need to listen to the answer here. Okay. Because the, the way I used to feel

00:18:01.080 compared to how I feel now, it's completely the opposite. 10 years ago when, when we were still

00:18:08.840 like, you know, we were just getting it going, maybe let's say 15 years ago. All right. Let's

00:18:13.260 say we're 24 years, 15 years, gonna be nine years in. We were struggling, bro. We were fighting every

00:18:19.520 day. Every day was a fucking war. And so like when people quit on me, dude, I took it fucking very 1.00

00:18:25.640 personal. Like I felt like, fuck you, you know? And, and even to the point where I was like, dude, 1.00

00:18:30.920 I, I eat back then I used to even be like, fuck, I hope they fucking fall on their fate. Like I was, 0.99

00:18:35.780 I thought I looked at it the wrong way. Um, and over the time, especially after I got in the personal

00:18:43.300 development space, which was, you know, a couple of years after this time, um, I started to realize

00:18:48.840 and see my employees differently. I started to see them as I changed my philosophy. My philosophy

00:18:57.900 was, you know, fuck you. If you're in, if you're not in, you're fucking out. You know what I'm 1.00

00:19:01.740 saying? And like, bro, there's a time and place for that. There really is, but it's not a good way

00:19:05.480 to go through life because it creates situations where there's animosity later that is totally

00:19:10.360 unnecessary, bro. The reality of the situation is employees are going to come, employees are going

00:19:15.140 to change their life path. They're going to choose to do different things. And there's no reason

00:19:18.320 to be upset about those things. So you shouldn't take it personally. You know, um, if somebody

00:19:22.760 doesn't want to be on your team, why the fuck do you want them on your team? You know what I'm 0.98

00:19:25.920 saying? Right. And if they just don't want to be on your team and they want to choose a different

00:19:28.960 path, why wouldn't you help them on that path? Then you've got an advocate out there talking about

00:19:33.220 how much you helped them. That's a good thing for you, right? It's a good thing for your business.

00:19:36.660 So I adjusted my perspective over the course of time. And it really came down to, um, I had one

00:19:42.640 employee quit on me who was actually a really good fucking friend of mine. And he's still a great 0.94

00:19:46.960 friend of mine. Um, and, uh, I, he was valuable in the company, but when he left, uh, he went to do

00:19:55.780 his own thing and he actually ended up going to law school and he became a lawyer and he's actually

00:19:59.160 one of my lawyers now. All right. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about, but I'm not gonna say his

00:20:03.120 name, but like when he left, dude, it like hurt. It was like, it was like a, it was like a wake up

00:20:07.440 call for me because I realized, okay, I care about this dude. This is one of my best friends.

00:20:13.660 He's choosing to go on this path that he feels he needs to be on. And now he's very successful

00:20:18.320 attorney with his own practice. He represents me in a lot of stuff. So, um, I started to look at it

00:20:24.440 as, all right, not everybody's going to be here for long-term, but the time that they're here,

00:20:29.940 I want to pour into them to make sure that when they leave here, they're more equipped to be

00:20:34.920 successful at something else. And so I changed my philosophy, uh, a number of years ago about,

00:20:42.480 all right, like if someone wants to go on their own path, then it's my job to equip them while 0.99

00:20:47.840 they're here so that they can look back and say, fuck, that's where I learned how to do this shit. 1.00

00:20:51.440 Right. And then, then you make a friend for life, someone that you, that you get to celebrate with 1.00

00:20:55.920 someone that you get to be happy with someone when they win, you're like, fuck. Yeah. Like that's 1.00

00:21:00.180 cool as shit. And like, so one of the things that I derive my, like what I'm proud of is that I 0.97

00:21:06.500 have a number of people that spent, you know, time with me who have gone out and been very

00:21:10.540 successful in other things. And that makes me proud. And I think that's an important perspective

00:21:14.700 to have. So if you're in the beginning and you're more like taking it personal, um, I would say you

00:21:19.860 should shift your perspective to, to, to really just, and I think there's an energy aspect to this

00:21:25.080 too, bro. I think when you want good for other people, good things happen to you. And I'm talking

00:21:28.900 about from your heart, not, not like you're just saying it. Right. Right. Um, and it's a little

00:21:34.320 contrarian to the way that most people are treated whenever they leave their position. You know,

00:21:38.300 most people that are treated when they leave their position, they feel like there's angst

00:21:41.920 or animosity. Um, and I think a lot of times, you know, people automatically believe that that's

00:21:46.580 the case, but you know, how I look at it is, is like, dude, if you spent time here, first

00:21:50.780 of all, I'm very appreciative of the time that you put in. Second of all, I want you to win

00:21:54.880 third of all, whatever you need to do to win. I'm, you know, I'm, you know where I'm at

00:21:58.720 and we can always have a conversation. I'll advise you and tell you what I think is the right

00:22:02.420 thing, uh, selflessly. And so I think that's, and that's a more peaceful way to live

00:22:07.460 too, because, uh, you don't have the internal anxiety from these rough relationships and,

00:22:12.060 you know, and bro, it's a growing process. And I think it's, uh, I think the quicker that

00:22:17.300 you can change your perspective to look at your people and say, all right, look, I know

00:22:20.900 for sure. Not everybody's going to stay here forever. However, I want them to look back and

00:22:25.360 say, this is the best, this is the best previous place that I ever worked. And I learned a lot

00:22:29.440 there and it's helped me succeed in life. And so that, that's, that's kind of been my journey

00:22:33.500 on it. And it's, it's been a total one 80. Yeah. You know what I mean? I love that take. I mean,

00:22:37.640 especially like in their situation, cause like I'm looking at this and I'm like, okay, well,

00:22:40.560 you're about to go into some troubling waters, right? We know what the world temperature is.

00:22:45.240 You got somebody in the boat that, you know, whether they don't want to row, can't row,

00:22:49.000 whatever the case is like, or, or they're going to row at a different pace. Yeah. It's like,

00:22:52.660 if you, if you have, if you have four guys on one side of the boat and four guys on the other

00:22:55.680 side of the boat, and one of the guys on the, on, on the left is rowing at the different pace,

00:22:59.580 the boat's going to go in circles. It might go in big circles, but it's going to go in circles.

00:23:02.960 It's not going to go straight. Right. And so that's, that's how you have to look at it.

00:23:06.200 You know, like when you have people that aren't bought in, when you have people that wish they

00:23:09.560 were doing other things, it's better for everybody that they go do those other things so that like

00:23:13.600 that your boat continue to move and then they can take their boat and go build their own ship.

00:23:17.700 You see what I'm saying? Absolutely, man. It's just such a maturity process, bro.

00:23:21.920 It is for sure. Because like, it's easy to take the ship personally.

00:23:24.940 Yeah. I just, I just hate that there's such a stigma on that, man. Like, like I, I never really,

00:23:30.720 never really realized it. Like, well, I think a lot of people who leave, leave their job

00:23:34.900 automatically, like no matter what job they leave, they automatically like feel like,

00:23:40.840 you know, it's a negative thing and that the job is disappointed or they hate them or this or that.

00:23:46.100 And, and that's probably true at most places, but you know, it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have

00:23:50.640 to be. And I don't think that if you're going to run a good, and sometimes bro, like sometimes,

00:23:55.400 like in this situation where it's someone who is really valuable, it's fucking hard because you're 1.00

00:23:59.260 like, fuck, this is going to be a huge pain in the fucking ass. However, long-term, if you look at it 1.00

00:24:05.520 the right way, it becomes a true asset to your life because you develop a good friendship, a great

00:24:09.360 relationship. And you know, I think it's good, good energy and good karma. You know, I think when you

00:24:14.440 help people, I think it comes back. I do think that when you, I don't think you get it back evenly.

00:24:20.520 I think when you help people like at a hundred percent effort, right, you might get back 30%

00:24:25.440 of that result, but it's better than getting back done. You know what I'm saying? Like it's better

00:24:29.180 than having, you know, having to be negative. So, uh, you know, and I think that's a whole

00:24:33.680 nother topic we could do a whole show on, but like, you know, the amount of intent that you put out,

00:24:38.000 the return is not always equate to the amount of the intent. That means you have to do a lot of good

00:24:42.660 to get good back. Does that make sense? Absolutely. A lot more good than you're going to get back.

00:24:46.880 Like you have to far over deliver and then you're going to get like a medium amount of 0.98

00:24:50.500 good back and it's going to frustrate the shit out of you. But like, dude, it's just the way it

00:24:54.180 works. And then it will be instantly either. No, it takes three years from now. Yeah. It takes

00:24:58.000 time. But like, bro, I think that's a, I think that's a, you know, that's a, I think it's just

00:25:04.840 a maturity thing. I think you grow through this process. I think anybody in business feels this

00:25:09.100 way, especially when you're like in the beginning stages and you're really struggling and like, bro, 0.95

00:25:14.280 you really fucking need good people. And then the good people decide they want to go do

00:25:18.620 something else. It hurts. And so it's easy to take personally, but I don't, I don't think

00:25:23.160 that's a good, I don't think that's a good strategy for a shit ton of reasons. Yeah. I love

00:25:27.260 it. Uh, Andy, our third and final question, question number three, Andy, how do you look

00:25:35.580 at and value loyalty? I'm 34 years old and I'm realizing that I may have been too loyal for

00:25:41.940 too long, uh, to people who didn't really deserve my loyalty. What are the MF CEOs rules

00:25:48.380 for loyalty? Well, I, I, I don't think, you know, this is going to be a, this is going to

00:25:57.240 be a hard pill for people to swallow, but I don't think loyalty is necessarily always reciprocated.

00:26:02.700 I don't think, just like I said a minute ago with an energy street, it's not always a two-way

00:26:07.300 street. Like it's just not. And I think you have to decide who you are. You have to decide

00:26:11.740 what you stand for. And I think it's important that you're loyal to your values, um, and stand

00:26:17.360 on those regardless of what the other person does. And that doesn't mean become a, a, a,

00:26:22.240 a rug that people walk all over. You know, if someone's going to disrespect you or talk

00:26:27.300 shit or fucking try to hurt you. But what it does mean is you stand firm in who you are 0.99

00:26:32.120 and be loyal to those things. I think loyalty is often misconstrued about, uh, like a, a bond

00:26:38.300 between two people. When I think really loyalty should be turned inward to say, I'm loyal to

00:26:43.320 the core values and the character traits that, that I want to live with and stand on. And,

00:26:49.520 um, if you're loyal to those and other people treat you bad, which they will, you can always

00:26:55.140 look in the mirror and say, well, I did the right thing. And I think that's, that's the

00:26:58.300 most important thing.

00:26:59.520 We're hitting something deep right here, man. You can't be loyal to nobody else. You're not

00:27:02.800 loyal to yourself.

00:27:03.380 Yeah. But like, but like most people don't understand what loyal to yourself means. Most

00:27:07.060 people don't even have their own set of core values. They just think there's people with

00:27:10.080 good character and there's people with poor character and character is developed over

00:27:13.680 commitment to values. So you have to sit down and you just like I would for a company, like

00:27:18.020 decide, okay, what's this going to stand for? It's going to stand for this, this, this, this,

00:27:22.280 this, this, this, this, this, this, and you have to do that for your life. You know, now

00:27:26.600 most people never do that. So just like if you were going to go on a road trip and you never

00:27:31.360 mapped out where the fuck you're going, how are you going to get there? So you have to 0.98

00:27:34.700 decide what it is you want your life to represent. And then you have to define those in some,

00:27:39.340 some specific values. And then you have to be loyal to those values. All right. So that's

00:27:45.280 what loyalty to the self really means. It means deciding what your standards are, committing

00:27:49.900 to holding those standards and stay standing on that spot, regardless of how other people

00:27:54.180 treat you. And so you're going to take some abuse with this mentality. You're going to

00:27:58.180 have people fucking hate you. You're going to have people be mean to you. You're going 0.99

00:28:01.660 to have people fuck you up, but here's the reality of it. And by the way, sometimes people 0.99

00:28:06.200 do cross that line and you have to fucking stand up for yourself. However, I believe that 0.97

00:28:12.260 it's the most important thing is for you to stand on what it is that you say you are. And

00:28:17.460 by the way, you're not going to be perfect. You're going to fuck this up. You're going to, 0.99

00:28:20.760 you're going to fucking do things that are a lapse in your own character that you committed 0.99

00:28:24.340 to. Uh, and you're going to have to learn lessons and do better next time. That's the 0.99

00:28:28.240 court. That's how life works, right? Nobody here is perfect, dude. Like there's this whole

00:28:32.560 thing on the internet where all these motherfuckers pretend like they live their value system, uh, 1.00

00:28:37.560 perfectly all the time. Like the, the, uh, you know, the Bible thumpers bro are the worst 1.00

00:28:42.860 about this. Like the ultra, the ultra religious Bible thumper people, they will, they will talk 0.99

00:28:48.740 out of both sides of their mouth. They'll preach Jesus and they'll preach all these gospel.

00:28:52.360 They'll require, they'll, they'll recite every single Bible passage that there is. They'll

00:28:58.220 judge you, which by the way, it says in the fucking Bible, not to judge people. 0.99

00:29:01.720 Don't recite that. Yeah. They'll judge you for not being as, uh, you know, good or holy as 0.99

00:29:08.460 them. Right. While the same time behind closed doors, they're doing all kinds of fucked up

00:29:12.840 shit. Right. You see what I'm saying? And those people tend to be the ones, the people who 1.00

00:29:17.180 are the most aggressive about imposing their value system on you are usually the ones with 1.00

00:29:21.440 the most shit in their fucking closet. All right. So like, don't buy into that shit, 1.00

00:29:25.300 bro. Those people like to make other people feel bad because ultimately inside they feel 1.00

00:29:28.780 bad about who they are. So, uh, that's no disrespect to people who, who practice religion,

00:29:35.560 who, who are godly and stuff. I try to do the best I can, man. Um, but my, my main thing

00:29:40.680 is, you know, decide what it is that you want to be, commit to those things, live those things.

00:29:45.220 When you fuck it up, own it and say, man, you know what? I disappointed myself right

00:29:48.880 there and commit to doing better. And I think that's a good way to live. And like, however

00:29:53.260 people treat you past that, that's, that's really a them problem. You know what I mean?

00:29:58.300 That's not a you problem. It doesn't always mean that you fucked up. It doesn't always 0.99

00:30:01.760 mean that like, you know, you're a bad person because someone, I just did a show on rejection,

00:30:07.180 right? Uh, you know, earlier you guys all heard it, um, a couple episodes ago or whatever.

00:30:12.400 But the point is, is like, we, we're, we're going to take things personal and we're going

00:30:16.040 to, we're going to be hurt. But if we can look in the mirror and say, you know what? I didn't

00:30:19.380 compromise who I am and I was loyal to who I was. I actually think that's the most important

00:30:24.060 loyalty that there is. And if you're loyal to that, then your actions of how you treat others

00:30:28.700 are going to be a natural by-product of that value system that you, that you believe in.

00:30:34.080 Right? So if you're committed to these things on the inside, one of those things probably

00:30:38.720 should be like to treat people the right way. Right? Even if they, even if they're

00:30:42.320 having a bad day, even if like, you know, like previously they leave your job or they,

00:30:47.180 you know, they break up with you or whatever, like whatever it is, however you're rejected.

00:30:51.940 I think it's important to be loyal to who you are, stand and, and, and bro, let me tell you

00:30:56.400 something. Sometimes it's hard as fuck to have high character. Sometimes it's hard as fuck to have 0.99

00:31:00.680 a high value system, but in the reality, in the longterm of the game, you know, what you're doing 0.97

00:31:06.460 by doing that is you're preserving your self-worth, your self-esteem and your confidence

00:31:10.420 because you can look right in the mirror and say, you know, that didn't really go the way 1.00

00:31:13.800 that I wanted that person treated me like shit. That wasn't fair. It was, it was not cool, 1.00

00:31:19.240 but I remained who I am and I, I would still, you know, feed this person, uh, or take care of them

00:31:25.920 even if, if they needed it. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely. And I think that's a, you know,

00:31:29.960 I think that's a good example to set in the world and too many people. Um, I was talking about this

00:31:34.860 at home the other day. There's so many people out there that are so self-centered. They want to

00:31:40.940 take, take, take, take, take when in reality, dude, I think the whole key to being fulfilled

00:31:46.660 in life is to give. I really do. You know, like, um, and that's a hard thing to do sometimes, man,

00:31:54.440 when people aren't fucking treating you right. Yeah, for sure. So, but that's also remaining loyal 0.91

00:31:59.000 to who you are. See what I'm saying? Absolutely. So, absolutely. I love that take on it. Huh?

00:32:03.680 I love, I love that. Well, I think it's important because loyalty people think like when you,

00:32:07.820 when you say you're loyal, they almost like take ownership of the other person. It's like,

00:32:12.740 I'm loyal to you, but you have to do this back to me. And that's not actually loyalty, bro. Like

00:32:19.840 that's like a conditional, like contract that once somebody makes a mistake, they're fucking cut off. 0.94

00:32:28.540 And this is propagated through the, the, the technological environment that we live in with 0.79

00:32:32.880 social media, because like, look, dude, you know how many friends, um, I've lost because I'm

00:32:38.960 opinionated or I have a different viewpoint of their, of the worldview than they do. Or, uh, I said

00:32:45.180 something they didn't like, or, you know, like I, I made too much money or I did had too much success.

00:32:50.580 Like, dude, you can't control these things. You have to do the best that you can, you can,

00:32:55.220 and you have to realize that people are going to think the way they think. Um, but like we,

00:33:01.720 I think we can all do a better job in society of having a little more grace for people when they

00:33:06.300 make mistakes. I think that's a big fucking deal. And I think it's a big problem in society. You 0.99

00:33:10.600 know, like look at the Instagram comments that people live like, like do people are just dying 0.99

00:33:16.220 to fucking crucify people. And it's just like, that's fucking sad, dude. Like, like imagine how 0.99

00:33:22.560 miserable you would have to be to, to like your whole day is about fucking people up. 0.99

00:33:27.540 You know what I'm saying? It's about calling people out. It's about being shitty to people. 0.99

00:33:30.920 It's about, you know, talking shit in the comment section on multiple people's posts. Like, bro, 0.99

00:33:35.720 those people, that's not a you problem. That's a them problem. And you just have to continue to

00:33:39.780 take the steps down the road. And what's ironic and what I think is, you know, what has,

00:33:45.820 what's happened to me a number of times is a number of times in my life. I've, I've had people

00:33:51.700 mistreat me. And then later on down the road, they come back and apologize. And they said,

00:33:57.500 dude, you know what? I actually had two people do this to me in the last like two weeks. And it

00:34:02.040 was, it was really nice actually. But I had a couple of people, you know, message me and want

00:34:07.560 to get on the phone and basically apologize for, for the way that they treated me many years ago,

00:34:13.440 you know? And I just thought that was, I thought that was cool, you know? And so like,

00:34:18.260 and that's not the first two times that's happened. That's just the most recent times.

00:34:21.700 But you know, a lot of times people will come back around and they'll say, you know what, bro?

00:34:26.360 That wasn't cool of me. I feel bad. I'm sorry. And like, you know, dude, people are doing the

00:34:32.680 best they can. Like that's, that's really the reality. You know, there's some, there's some

00:34:36.340 fucked up shit going on in the world. It's hard to fucking get by in the world right now. It's very 1.00

00:34:40.680 chaotic. It's very stressful. And I think by having grace, um, we can kind of like

00:34:45.220 smooth some of the, of the hardship over between human beings. I think, I really think that's the

00:34:53.340 answer. You know, like the way the system is set up, they want us to fucking attack each other. 0.99

00:34:58.600 They want us to hate each other. They want us to spend all day on social media, attacking the 0.98

00:35:03.040 things that we don't like. And I think it's important for people to, to realize that if you

00:35:08.300 want that to stop, you have to live that example. And that's, that's a, that's a very difficult thing to

00:35:13.060 do. It's very, it's very easy to just get sucked into the division, to get sucked into the cancel

00:35:18.460 culture, to get sucked into the fucking mob mentality. That's easy. You know, what's hard 1.00

00:35:23.360 is saying, nah, y'all are wrong. That ain't cool. And they might've fucked up, but that ain't who that

00:35:28.720 person is. And like taking a fucking stance on them, you know, that's, that's the harder path. 1.00

00:35:33.960 And I think usually it's the right path. And sometimes you're going to give people grace three or 0.99

00:35:38.340 four times and you're going to realize that they're just a shitty person. And, uh, you just 0.98

00:35:42.920 move the fuck on, you know, that there's caveat there too. And sometimes people are going to do 0.97

00:35:46.940 cross a boundary and you're going to have to stand up for yourself. And sometimes that means some

00:35:50.700 difficult things as well. But I think in most cases, you know, grace is where, uh, grace is

00:35:56.640 applicable. And I think it helps society, culture, and the world. Absolutely, man. I love it.

00:36:03.180 Well, Andy, that was three, man. Yeah. Don't pay the fee.

00:36:06.580 Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a pole. Fuck a stove. 1.00

00:36:11.700 Counted millions in the cold. Bad bitch, booted swole. Got her on bankroll. 1.00

00:36:16.880 Can't fold. Doesn't know. Headshot. Case closed.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - April 10, 2023

498. Q&AF： First Impressions In Business, Handling Employees Quitting & Misconception About Loyalty

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - April 10, 2023

498. Q&#x26;AF： First Impressions In Business, Handling Employees Quitting &#x26; Misconception About Loyalty

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

498. Q&AF： First Impressions In Business, Handling Employees Quitting & Misconception About Loyalty