498. Q&AF： First Impressions In Business, Handling Employees Quitting & Misconception About Loyalty
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Summary
In this episode of Q&A, we answer a bunch of questions submitted by you, the listeners. We also talk about how to deal with the heat in the workplace and why it's important to have the proper environment to grow your business.
Transcript
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What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest sake of out of the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society.
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Welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and I give you the answers.
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If this is your first time listening, this is our question and answer show where you submit them and we answer them.
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You can submit them one of two ways. First way is guys, email those questions in to ask Andy at andy for seller.com.
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And also we are uploading the full length episodes on YouTube. If you go to the Q and AF episodes on YouTube and drop your question in the comments, don't forget to click subscribe on that one.
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And we'll pick some from there as well. But if this is your first time listening, we have shows within the show.
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This is Q and AF. Other times you tune in, you're going to see CTI. That stands for cruise the Internet.
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That's where we put up on the screen three or four topics that we want to talk about.
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We we laugh about them. We make fun of them. We speculate on what's going on.
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And then we talk about how we can all work to be the solutions. The problems are going on in the world.
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So other times you tune in, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is five to 20 minutes of me just giving you some real talk, just some stuff I think that would help you.
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And then other times it's full length. That's what you're used to seeing on most everybody else's podcast where a bunch of people just sitting around having a conversation.
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So that's the general basis of the show. Now, the show is based in personal development, entrepreneurship and business.
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But we also cover a lot of things going on in society on the CTI episodes.
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The reason we do that is because if we don't have the proper environment, it's impossible for us to produce fruit when it comes to our businesses.
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Meaning if we don't have freedom, we don't have a business.
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So it's important for us as entrepreneurs, as people who are driven to succeed, to keep an eye on what's going on in the world and understand how to navigate it.
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Now, in exchange for the information that we give on the show, we have a fee.
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The fee is not monetary. I'm not asking you to send me money. I'm not asking you to buy my shit.
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Although I do appreciate those of you that do support our companies, the fee is very simple.
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If it made you think, if it made you laugh, if it gave you a new perspective, if it taught you something, if you walked away saying, man, that wasn't a waste of my time,
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I would just appreciate if you shared the show.
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We've been able to maintain a very, very, very high-ranked podcast for the better part of a decade based on word of mouth,
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which I appreciate you guys for doing, and I'd like to continue that trend.
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That can mean a story shared. That can mean a post.
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That can mean telling a story about what it meant to you.
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That can mean telling your friends, whatever it is.
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So that's when I say pay the fee. That's what I mean.
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We're recording a little different time of the day, so my routine got messed up.
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Yeah. So, you know, we'll see how it goes. Usually it takes me till about 2 p.m., which
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is when we normally record, to really get full of enough energy and enough frustration
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to really come in and deliver some straight fucking heat.
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But today we're doing a little earlier, so maybe it won't be as hot. Maybe it will.
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I don't know. We'll find out. What's going on with you?
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Hey, man. You know, another day, another beautiful day, finally getting some good weather
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Yeah. Um, there's just something about getting some good vitamin D. I don't know.
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No, man. It's just nice, man. It's nice seeing blue skies and fucking suns up.
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Yeah. It is, dude. The gray, the gray, um, the gray winter, man. It like, it's not the
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cold either. Like when I'm in a place where it's sunny and it's cold and snowy, that's actually
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some of my favorite weather. Yeah. But the grayness here in the Midwest, man, it's, uh,
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I couldn't imagine living in somewhere like up, like, uh, you know, the Washington, you
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know, the, the, the Northwest where it's like very rainy and cloudy all the time.
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Like y'all motherfuckers must be miserable up there.
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Well, I mean, yeah, well, that's another episode. I couldn't imagine living in somewhere
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like Alaska, bro, where like, it's dark for like 24 hours at a time.
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Did you go to, did you go to Whistler when we went?
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Um, a couple of years ago, we went to Whistler for a RTA event and it was like that. It got
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dark. It's like stayed dark, super late and then got dark, super early and it was definitely
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That's weird. I can't know. I, I think when people, people are starting to realize, man,
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like how, how important sunlight we've talked about on the show, but just being outside in
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the environment, like it does a tremendous, uh, benefit to your body. Right. I mean, it's
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even linked to, you know, depression and certain shit like anxiety disorders and
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things like that. So it's important, man. I'm just happy that it's here.
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Sun recharges the body, man. That's the, one of the biggest lies told in the world,
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you know, that like sun's bad for you. And, uh, you know, also like being wary of how much
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you wear your sunglasses, because a lot of the vitamin D, um, we actually convert from
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the sunlight that comes into our eyes. So it's important for us to like, I like sunglasses.
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I think I look cool, but I try to, you know, make a conscious effort. And if you don't want,
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if you don't want to do that, just make, you know, you don't want those sunglass tan lines.
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So I try to spend about 50, 50, um, without my sunglasses, but anyhow, uh, what's going
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on? Yeah, we got, well, I got some good ones for you. I bet you do. Got some good ones.
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Let's, uh, let's, let's knock these out. Uh, Andy question. Number one, uh, we covered,
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uh, first impressions a couple of episodes ago. So this one goes a little bit deeper.
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Uh, we're talking about impressions in business. Uh, Andy, what are the first impressions you
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look for when forming a relationship with someone important for your business? Uh, for example,
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vendors or suppliers, what makes you choose them and what makes them stand out amongst the other
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competitors? Well, I think it depends, man. I think I, I, I, in some scenarios in business,
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you know, people have, uh, something that is very desirable. They have a service or a product or
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something that you can only get from them. And in that case, if you need the product, it really
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doesn't matter what you look for because it's exclusive. So that's, that's a real scenario
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that happens oftentimes. However, most of the time we have options. So if we're running a business
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and we're looking to, uh, you know, make the business work, there's a couple of things that
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we got to take into account. One, um, you know, is it financially feasible for, for us to use this
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company? Does it make sense? Is it going to make sense to our bottom line? That's something that we
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always have to be aware of. You know, we talk a lot of, we talk a lot these days, especially
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about feeling good or finding the right connection or finding something that we vibe with or believe
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in. But the truth of the matter is, is that if we can't finance our business and we can't make
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the numbers work, we don't have a business. So that's, that's the first thing that really,
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I think you should look at, uh, as a true operator. Secondly, if there's multiple things
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that make financial sense and maybe they don't, maybe, maybe one company makes a little bit more
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financial sense and, uh, the other company, you know, you got to pay a little bit more and it costs
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you a little bit of margin, but they're much better at what they do. Maybe they are, uh, they're better
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on their service game or they're easier to get ahold of, or their supply chain is quicker or
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whatever it may be. Sometimes it's worth it to go with the option that actually works better in terms
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of everything else, but price, because the reality is guys, most cases in life, you get what you pay
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for. That's the truth. All right. It's very, it's very rare in society. You know, people like to think
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this way, but it's not actually true that, you know, the, the, the cheapest thing is the best. It's
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usually not the case. Usually there is a price quality correlation that goes along with whatever
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product or service is being offered. And, uh, typically the more someone charges, they're usually
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providing value that can benefit you in other ways, strategically or service wise or other things
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like that. Or maybe their quality is just that much better, but there's always a lot of reasons to be,
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uh, or to evaluate what it is you're trying to choose. You know, for me, I like to work with
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people that I like. I like to work with people that hold a high standard. I like to work with people
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who don't fuck up. I like to work with people who pay attention to detail and who actually care about
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what's going on on my end. And, uh, if that costs me a little bit more money, then that's what we'll
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do because I think that's important to the operations of a business. You know, we have to be able to rely
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on what people say and them delivering on what they promise for us to run what we run. Right. Um, and it
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doesn't matter if it's, you know, supplements or fucking widgets or it doesn't matter. It's, it's a,
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it's a, it's a idea that spans across all business. So, um, you know, I, I think it's
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important to evaluate that a lot of people will just jump in with the cheapest thing. And like,
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dude, you have to remember also in finished good products, whatever it is that you offer,
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whether it's a hard product, whether it's service, whether whatever it is,
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there is a price value correlation there too. So like you have to decide where you want to be in
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the market. Do you want to be the discount brand? Do you want to be the medium brand? Or do you want
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to be the premium brand? Personally, I prefer premium. I think that's the easiest thing
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for me personally to deal with because I don't mind someone looking me in the eye and saying,
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bro, I can't afford your stuff, but I hate someone looking me in the eye and saying, bro,
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your stuff sucks. Doesn't work. Yeah. It bothers me. So like, and whether that be any of the
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businesses that I'm in, I always like to play in the premium space because I feel like that I'm a
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premium customer and how I evaluate products and services. And that's something that I can relate
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to the most as an operator. And, and like I said, it's just, you know, you're going to
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deal with one or the other. You're either going to deal with people saying, I don't like your
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product. It's not good enough. Or you're going to deal with people saying, Hey, that product's
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not for me because it costs too much. And either way, you're going to have people that don't want
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your shit. So you have to just make a real good decision about where you want to be. And I think
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there's room for all of those. There there's definitely, I think there's scientific proof that
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there's room for a good, better, best options in any product category. So, um, to evaluate what the
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best vendor is or the best strategic partner, you know, there's just a lot of variables that
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go into play depending on where you're trying to operate from. And, uh, you know, it's not always
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about money. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Have you seen also too, how much does, I guess,
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time in business, uh, repudy of company play as a leverage factor, right? Like when you first started
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in 99, or let's say from, you know, from, from 1999 to 2005, your, your reputation, your, your
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business credit, if you will, right? Like how much has that changed versus where you are now when it
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comes to getting these relationships? Oh, I think that matters. You know, I think, you know, when
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you're, when you're an unknown and you're still new and people aren't familiar with your brand,
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um, you get less favorable deals. You get less people that want to work with you. You get less
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people that, and this is a reality. This is why you guys in business need to really stick it
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out because eventually that part of it does get better. You know, back in the day, man,
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um, you know, we had to, it's an interesting thing that it's an interesting question you brought up
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because we kind of got lucky on this aspect. And when I tell you why we got lucky, here we go.
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Yeah. Well, listen, listen, we did get lucky, but when I tell you why I was lucky, you're going to be
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like, what the fuck? I was lucky to get stabbed in the fucking face. I was,
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it was the best thing that ever happened to me for business because people started to remember
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me. All right. So when we were new in business, I got stabbed in 2003 and nobody up until that
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point, that was our three, uh, three years in business, but when in our fourth year and we had
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the hardest, hardest, hardest time getting anyone to pay attention to us because we were not memorable.
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We, we weren't recognizable. Nobody knew who we were. We were a little tiny bitty company. Um,
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we had no business leverage whatsoever cause we didn't have any fucking money, bro. And like money
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talks, bullshit walks when it comes to this shit. Right. So like pretty you want it to sound.
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Yeah. Right. Like it's the reality. And so we had to leverage our other assets to get attention
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from some of the companies that we wanted to work with. Right. Um, and you know, me getting stabbed
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in the face made me very memorable because my face was very fucked up. It looks, it looks, I mean,
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it's looks like gold now. Right. Like, but look at real talk, you know, my face was swollen the size
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of a grapefruit for about a year. And, um, so I looked weird and, you know, as hard as that was for
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me mentally to deal with, when I look back on it from where I am now, you know, and bro, I dealt with
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suicidal thoughts, literally fucking all day long, every day. Um, probably, I mean, definitely the
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hardest time of my life that I ever went through, no doubt. But when I look back on it, it was actually
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something that really helped our business because I became memorable. It became something that people
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talked about, whether it was good or bad. Right. And, you know, give you an example. Like we would
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go to the Arnold or the Olympia back then and nobody knew who we were. Right. And people would,
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would, would say, Oh, you know, the guys that own supplement super stores and people would be like,
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no, I don't know who the, you know, Andy, he's the one with the fucking, you know, the thing,
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right. Right. Right. Like, and, and, and I know this because people have told me this over the years
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that it actually made them remember us. So, you know, that really helped us become memorable,
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uh, and allowed us to really meet some really good people that took good care of us through the
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years. Uh, there's some people that I'm eternally indebted to because of the things that they did to
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help us along the way, uh, to guide us, to teach us. And this is why I support people even in my own
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space, um, who are not as far along as I am, because like, I think that's the duty, right? Like,
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like, I'm now I'm, now I'm that person and I have a responsibility to pay that back and really help
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the smaller guys figure out what the fuck they're doing, which is why, you know, a lot of people,
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you know, they see me talking to some of the owners of these other companies or hanging out
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with them and shit. And they look at it. They're like, what the fuck is that about? Well, bro,
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that's, that's a moral obligation that we have to help the people come behind us to run the path
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the right way. And so I'm just repaying what was done to me. You see what I'm saying? But, uh,
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you know, as you get to back to the point, as you become more recognizable and as you become
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more successful, people start to come to you. And then when you get, when you get like to a
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decent size, and when I say decent, when you get into that, you know, that, that eight to nine
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figure range, high eights, low nines, people are knocking your door down to come do business with
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you. So like the whole dynamic changes if you stick with it long enough, that make sense?
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Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. But the principles of how you get those deals remain the same.
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Yeah, for sure. For sure, bro. And look, this is the long game. A lot of you guys in business are
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so impatient. You don't understand that this is going to take, this is not going to take a couple
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of years. This is going to be your life, you know, and treating people right, doing the right
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thing over the long haul, you know, um, bro, there's not a motherfucker in this space, in my
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spaces, in any of the space I'm in, not a single motherfucker, not a single one that could say that
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I haven't done anything, but try to help them. Not a single one. They might, they might say,
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oh, watch out for Andy because he's a fucking tough competitor. They might say that, but I have
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never, ever, ever, ever fucked a person in business. I've always tried to help. I've always
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tried to push down the road. And a lot of times, um, people are taken aback by that. They're like,
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what's this dude want? Why is he talking to me? Why is he trying to help? And it's like, bro,
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I'm just trying to do what other people did for me because I feel like it's the right thing to do.
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So, um, you know, and yeah, you can make sure things like, do you want the fucking hammer?
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Like, no, no, it's not that like when I was younger, bro, I was, I w you know, it was different,
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but now like we've gotten to a point now where I realized like where I'm, I kind of realized where
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I'm at. Right. Like I'm, I'm very small where I want to go to, but for the space that we're in,
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we're, we're very successful and recognized for that. And so I see a lot of smaller companies
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that really struggle, but bro, some of these owners of these other companies that are a little
00:16:42.700
bit behind us, or maybe even a lot behind us, these are my best fucking friends. And you know,
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this because I talked to them on our walks. I'll talk to some of the owners of these other companies
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for fucking two hours, multiple times a week, trying to help them work through the shit.
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Yeah. So, and I give it, I give it away for free because you know, there's, there's no shortage
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of business available. Um, and especially when it comes to, you know, helping people,
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I think it's just a good karmic thing to do. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
00:17:12.540
Uh, moving right along guys. Question number two, Andy, Andy, I've been in business for four years.
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I have seven full-time employees and I just had my first employee quit on me. Um, I wouldn't say
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he was a key player, but the absence and increased workload is definitely noticed. He never complained
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or brought any issues to me directly. Um, but I have just learned recently through another employee
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of mine, but he did not trust quote, aggressive offensive direction. I'm taking the company,
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uh, during these troubling times and did not believe in my abilities to win.
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How did you look at people quitting early on in business? And how should I look at the situation
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as I'm now starting to second guess my decisions, man, this is a really good question. There's you
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guys, you really need to listen to the answer here. Okay. Because the, the way I used to feel
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compared to how I feel now, it's completely the opposite. 10 years ago when, when we were still
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like, you know, we were just getting it going, maybe let's say 15 years ago. All right. Let's
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say we're 24 years, 15 years, gonna be nine years in. We were struggling, bro. We were fighting every
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day. Every day was a fucking war. And so like when people quit on me, dude, I took it fucking very
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personal. Like I felt like, fuck you, you know? And, and even to the point where I was like, dude,
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I, I eat back then I used to even be like, fuck, I hope they fucking fall on their fate. Like I was,
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I thought I looked at it the wrong way. Um, and over the time, especially after I got in the personal
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development space, which was, you know, a couple of years after this time, um, I started to realize
00:18:48.840
and see my employees differently. I started to see them as I changed my philosophy. My philosophy
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was, you know, fuck you. If you're in, if you're not in, you're fucking out. You know what I'm
00:19:01.740
saying? And like, bro, there's a time and place for that. There really is, but it's not a good way
00:19:05.480
to go through life because it creates situations where there's animosity later that is totally
00:19:10.360
unnecessary, bro. The reality of the situation is employees are going to come, employees are going
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to change their life path. They're going to choose to do different things. And there's no reason
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to be upset about those things. So you shouldn't take it personally. You know, um, if somebody
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doesn't want to be on your team, why the fuck do you want them on your team? You know what I'm
00:19:25.920
saying? Right. And if they just don't want to be on your team and they want to choose a different
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path, why wouldn't you help them on that path? Then you've got an advocate out there talking about
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how much you helped them. That's a good thing for you, right? It's a good thing for your business.
00:19:36.660
So I adjusted my perspective over the course of time. And it really came down to, um, I had one
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employee quit on me who was actually a really good fucking friend of mine. And he's still a great
00:19:46.960
friend of mine. Um, and, uh, I, he was valuable in the company, but when he left, uh, he went to do
00:19:55.780
his own thing and he actually ended up going to law school and he became a lawyer and he's actually
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one of my lawyers now. All right. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about, but I'm not gonna say his
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name, but like when he left, dude, it like hurt. It was like, it was like a, it was like a wake up
00:20:07.440
call for me because I realized, okay, I care about this dude. This is one of my best friends.
00:20:13.660
He's choosing to go on this path that he feels he needs to be on. And now he's very successful
00:20:18.320
attorney with his own practice. He represents me in a lot of stuff. So, um, I started to look at it
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as, all right, not everybody's going to be here for long-term, but the time that they're here,
00:20:29.940
I want to pour into them to make sure that when they leave here, they're more equipped to be
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successful at something else. And so I changed my philosophy, uh, a number of years ago about,
00:20:42.480
all right, like if someone wants to go on their own path, then it's my job to equip them while
00:20:47.840
they're here so that they can look back and say, fuck, that's where I learned how to do this shit.
00:20:51.440
Right. And then, then you make a friend for life, someone that you, that you get to celebrate with
00:20:55.920
someone that you get to be happy with someone when they win, you're like, fuck. Yeah. Like that's
00:21:00.180
cool as shit. And like, so one of the things that I derive my, like what I'm proud of is that I
00:21:06.500
have a number of people that spent, you know, time with me who have gone out and been very
00:21:10.540
successful in other things. And that makes me proud. And I think that's an important perspective
00:21:14.700
to have. So if you're in the beginning and you're more like taking it personal, um, I would say you
00:21:19.860
should shift your perspective to, to, to really just, and I think there's an energy aspect to this
00:21:25.080
too, bro. I think when you want good for other people, good things happen to you. And I'm talking
00:21:28.900
about from your heart, not, not like you're just saying it. Right. Right. Um, and it's a little
00:21:34.320
contrarian to the way that most people are treated whenever they leave their position. You know,
00:21:38.300
most people that are treated when they leave their position, they feel like there's angst
00:21:41.920
or animosity. Um, and I think a lot of times, you know, people automatically believe that that's
00:21:46.580
the case, but you know, how I look at it is, is like, dude, if you spent time here, first
00:21:50.780
of all, I'm very appreciative of the time that you put in. Second of all, I want you to win
00:21:54.880
third of all, whatever you need to do to win. I'm, you know, I'm, you know where I'm at
00:21:58.720
and we can always have a conversation. I'll advise you and tell you what I think is the right
00:22:02.420
thing, uh, selflessly. And so I think that's, and that's a more peaceful way to live
00:22:07.460
too, because, uh, you don't have the internal anxiety from these rough relationships and,
00:22:12.060
you know, and bro, it's a growing process. And I think it's, uh, I think the quicker that
00:22:17.300
you can change your perspective to look at your people and say, all right, look, I know
00:22:20.900
for sure. Not everybody's going to stay here forever. However, I want them to look back and
00:22:25.360
say, this is the best, this is the best previous place that I ever worked. And I learned a lot
00:22:29.440
there and it's helped me succeed in life. And so that, that's, that's kind of been my journey
00:22:33.500
on it. And it's, it's been a total one 80. Yeah. You know what I mean? I love that take. I mean,
00:22:37.640
especially like in their situation, cause like I'm looking at this and I'm like, okay, well,
00:22:40.560
you're about to go into some troubling waters, right? We know what the world temperature is.
00:22:45.240
You got somebody in the boat that, you know, whether they don't want to row, can't row,
00:22:49.000
whatever the case is like, or, or they're going to row at a different pace. Yeah. It's like,
00:22:52.660
if you, if you have, if you have four guys on one side of the boat and four guys on the other
00:22:55.680
side of the boat, and one of the guys on the, on, on the left is rowing at the different pace,
00:22:59.580
the boat's going to go in circles. It might go in big circles, but it's going to go in circles.
00:23:02.960
It's not going to go straight. Right. And so that's, that's how you have to look at it.
00:23:06.200
You know, like when you have people that aren't bought in, when you have people that wish they
00:23:09.560
were doing other things, it's better for everybody that they go do those other things so that like
00:23:13.600
that your boat continue to move and then they can take their boat and go build their own ship.
00:23:17.700
You see what I'm saying? Absolutely, man. It's just such a maturity process, bro.
00:23:21.920
It is for sure. Because like, it's easy to take the ship personally.
00:23:24.940
Yeah. I just, I just hate that there's such a stigma on that, man. Like, like I, I never really,
00:23:30.720
never really realized it. Like, well, I think a lot of people who leave, leave their job
00:23:34.900
automatically, like no matter what job they leave, they automatically like feel like,
00:23:40.840
you know, it's a negative thing and that the job is disappointed or they hate them or this or that.
00:23:46.100
And, and that's probably true at most places, but you know, it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have
00:23:50.640
to be. And I don't think that if you're going to run a good, and sometimes bro, like sometimes,
00:23:55.400
like in this situation where it's someone who is really valuable, it's fucking hard because you're
00:23:59.260
like, fuck, this is going to be a huge pain in the fucking ass. However, long-term, if you look at it
00:24:05.520
the right way, it becomes a true asset to your life because you develop a good friendship, a great
00:24:09.360
relationship. And you know, I think it's good, good energy and good karma. You know, I think when you
00:24:14.440
help people, I think it comes back. I do think that when you, I don't think you get it back evenly.
00:24:20.520
I think when you help people like at a hundred percent effort, right, you might get back 30%
00:24:25.440
of that result, but it's better than getting back done. You know what I'm saying? Like it's better
00:24:29.180
than having, you know, having to be negative. So, uh, you know, and I think that's a whole
00:24:33.680
nother topic we could do a whole show on, but like, you know, the amount of intent that you put out,
00:24:38.000
the return is not always equate to the amount of the intent. That means you have to do a lot of good
00:24:42.660
to get good back. Does that make sense? Absolutely. A lot more good than you're going to get back.
00:24:46.880
Like you have to far over deliver and then you're going to get like a medium amount of
00:24:50.500
good back and it's going to frustrate the shit out of you. But like, dude, it's just the way it
00:24:54.180
works. And then it will be instantly either. No, it takes three years from now. Yeah. It takes
00:24:58.000
time. But like, bro, I think that's a, I think that's a, you know, that's a, I think it's just
00:25:04.840
a maturity thing. I think you grow through this process. I think anybody in business feels this
00:25:09.100
way, especially when you're like in the beginning stages and you're really struggling and like, bro,
00:25:14.280
you really fucking need good people. And then the good people decide they want to go do
00:25:18.620
something else. It hurts. And so it's easy to take personally, but I don't, I don't think
00:25:23.160
that's a good, I don't think that's a good strategy for a shit ton of reasons. Yeah. I love
00:25:27.260
it. Uh, Andy, our third and final question, question number three, Andy, how do you look
00:25:35.580
at and value loyalty? I'm 34 years old and I'm realizing that I may have been too loyal for
00:25:41.940
too long, uh, to people who didn't really deserve my loyalty. What are the MF CEOs rules
00:25:48.380
for loyalty? Well, I, I, I don't think, you know, this is going to be a, this is going to
00:25:57.240
be a hard pill for people to swallow, but I don't think loyalty is necessarily always reciprocated.
00:26:02.700
I don't think, just like I said a minute ago with an energy street, it's not always a two-way
00:26:07.300
street. Like it's just not. And I think you have to decide who you are. You have to decide
00:26:11.740
what you stand for. And I think it's important that you're loyal to your values, um, and stand
00:26:17.360
on those regardless of what the other person does. And that doesn't mean become a, a, a,
00:26:22.240
a rug that people walk all over. You know, if someone's going to disrespect you or talk
00:26:27.300
shit or fucking try to hurt you. But what it does mean is you stand firm in who you are
00:26:32.120
and be loyal to those things. I think loyalty is often misconstrued about, uh, like a, a bond
00:26:38.300
between two people. When I think really loyalty should be turned inward to say, I'm loyal to
00:26:43.320
the core values and the character traits that, that I want to live with and stand on. And,
00:26:49.520
um, if you're loyal to those and other people treat you bad, which they will, you can always
00:26:55.140
look in the mirror and say, well, I did the right thing. And I think that's, that's the
00:26:59.520
We're hitting something deep right here, man. You can't be loyal to nobody else. You're not
00:27:03.380
Yeah. But like, but like most people don't understand what loyal to yourself means. Most
00:27:07.060
people don't even have their own set of core values. They just think there's people with
00:27:10.080
good character and there's people with poor character and character is developed over
00:27:13.680
commitment to values. So you have to sit down and you just like I would for a company, like
00:27:18.020
decide, okay, what's this going to stand for? It's going to stand for this, this, this, this,
00:27:22.280
this, this, this, this, this, this, and you have to do that for your life. You know, now
00:27:26.600
most people never do that. So just like if you were going to go on a road trip and you never
00:27:31.360
mapped out where the fuck you're going, how are you going to get there? So you have to
00:27:34.700
decide what it is you want your life to represent. And then you have to define those in some,
00:27:39.340
some specific values. And then you have to be loyal to those values. All right. So that's
00:27:45.280
what loyalty to the self really means. It means deciding what your standards are, committing
00:27:49.900
to holding those standards and stay standing on that spot, regardless of how other people
00:27:54.180
treat you. And so you're going to take some abuse with this mentality. You're going to
00:27:58.180
have people fucking hate you. You're going to have people be mean to you. You're going
00:28:01.660
to have people fuck you up, but here's the reality of it. And by the way, sometimes people
00:28:06.200
do cross that line and you have to fucking stand up for yourself. However, I believe that
00:28:12.260
it's the most important thing is for you to stand on what it is that you say you are. And
00:28:17.460
by the way, you're not going to be perfect. You're going to fuck this up. You're going to,
00:28:20.760
you're going to fucking do things that are a lapse in your own character that you committed
00:28:24.340
to. Uh, and you're going to have to learn lessons and do better next time. That's the
00:28:28.240
court. That's how life works, right? Nobody here is perfect, dude. Like there's this whole
00:28:32.560
thing on the internet where all these motherfuckers pretend like they live their value system, uh,
00:28:37.560
perfectly all the time. Like the, the, uh, you know, the Bible thumpers bro are the worst
00:28:42.860
about this. Like the ultra, the ultra religious Bible thumper people, they will, they will talk
00:28:48.740
out of both sides of their mouth. They'll preach Jesus and they'll preach all these gospel.
00:28:52.360
They'll require, they'll, they'll recite every single Bible passage that there is. They'll
00:28:58.220
judge you, which by the way, it says in the fucking Bible, not to judge people.
00:29:01.720
Don't recite that. Yeah. They'll judge you for not being as, uh, you know, good or holy as
00:29:08.460
them. Right. While the same time behind closed doors, they're doing all kinds of fucked up
00:29:12.840
shit. Right. You see what I'm saying? And those people tend to be the ones, the people who
00:29:17.180
are the most aggressive about imposing their value system on you are usually the ones with
00:29:21.440
the most shit in their fucking closet. All right. So like, don't buy into that shit,
00:29:25.300
bro. Those people like to make other people feel bad because ultimately inside they feel
00:29:28.780
bad about who they are. So, uh, that's no disrespect to people who, who practice religion,
00:29:35.560
who, who are godly and stuff. I try to do the best I can, man. Um, but my, my main thing
00:29:40.680
is, you know, decide what it is that you want to be, commit to those things, live those things.
00:29:45.220
When you fuck it up, own it and say, man, you know what? I disappointed myself right
00:29:48.880
there and commit to doing better. And I think that's a good way to live. And like, however
00:29:53.260
people treat you past that, that's, that's really a them problem. You know what I mean?
00:29:58.300
That's not a you problem. It doesn't always mean that you fucked up. It doesn't always
00:30:01.760
mean that like, you know, you're a bad person because someone, I just did a show on rejection,
00:30:07.180
right? Uh, you know, earlier you guys all heard it, um, a couple episodes ago or whatever.
00:30:12.400
But the point is, is like, we, we're, we're going to take things personal and we're going
00:30:16.040
to, we're going to be hurt. But if we can look in the mirror and say, you know what? I didn't
00:30:19.380
compromise who I am and I was loyal to who I was. I actually think that's the most important
00:30:24.060
loyalty that there is. And if you're loyal to that, then your actions of how you treat others
00:30:28.700
are going to be a natural by-product of that value system that you, that you believe in.
00:30:34.080
Right? So if you're committed to these things on the inside, one of those things probably
00:30:38.720
should be like to treat people the right way. Right? Even if they, even if they're
00:30:42.320
having a bad day, even if like, you know, like previously they leave your job or they,
00:30:47.180
you know, they break up with you or whatever, like whatever it is, however you're rejected.
00:30:51.940
I think it's important to be loyal to who you are, stand and, and, and bro, let me tell you
00:30:56.400
something. Sometimes it's hard as fuck to have high character. Sometimes it's hard as fuck to have
00:31:00.680
a high value system, but in the reality, in the longterm of the game, you know, what you're doing
00:31:06.460
by doing that is you're preserving your self-worth, your self-esteem and your confidence
00:31:10.420
because you can look right in the mirror and say, you know, that didn't really go the way
00:31:13.800
that I wanted that person treated me like shit. That wasn't fair. It was, it was not cool,
00:31:19.240
but I remained who I am and I, I would still, you know, feed this person, uh, or take care of them
00:31:25.920
even if, if they needed it. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely. And I think that's a, you know,
00:31:29.960
I think that's a good example to set in the world and too many people. Um, I was talking about this
00:31:34.860
at home the other day. There's so many people out there that are so self-centered. They want to
00:31:40.940
take, take, take, take, take when in reality, dude, I think the whole key to being fulfilled
00:31:46.660
in life is to give. I really do. You know, like, um, and that's a hard thing to do sometimes, man,
00:31:54.440
when people aren't fucking treating you right. Yeah, for sure. So, but that's also remaining loyal
00:31:59.000
to who you are. See what I'm saying? Absolutely. So, absolutely. I love that take on it. Huh?
00:32:03.680
I love, I love that. Well, I think it's important because loyalty people think like when you,
00:32:07.820
when you say you're loyal, they almost like take ownership of the other person. It's like,
00:32:12.740
I'm loyal to you, but you have to do this back to me. And that's not actually loyalty, bro. Like
00:32:19.840
that's like a conditional, like contract that once somebody makes a mistake, they're fucking cut off.
00:32:28.540
And this is propagated through the, the, the technological environment that we live in with
00:32:32.880
social media, because like, look, dude, you know how many friends, um, I've lost because I'm
00:32:38.960
opinionated or I have a different viewpoint of their, of the worldview than they do. Or, uh, I said
00:32:45.180
something they didn't like, or, you know, like I, I made too much money or I did had too much success.
00:32:50.580
Like, dude, you can't control these things. You have to do the best that you can, you can,
00:32:55.220
and you have to realize that people are going to think the way they think. Um, but like we,
00:33:01.720
I think we can all do a better job in society of having a little more grace for people when they
00:33:06.300
make mistakes. I think that's a big fucking deal. And I think it's a big problem in society. You
00:33:10.600
know, like look at the Instagram comments that people live like, like do people are just dying
00:33:16.220
to fucking crucify people. And it's just like, that's fucking sad, dude. Like, like imagine how
00:33:22.560
miserable you would have to be to, to like your whole day is about fucking people up.
00:33:27.540
You know what I'm saying? It's about calling people out. It's about being shitty to people.
00:33:30.920
It's about, you know, talking shit in the comment section on multiple people's posts. Like, bro,
00:33:35.720
those people, that's not a you problem. That's a them problem. And you just have to continue to
00:33:39.780
take the steps down the road. And what's ironic and what I think is, you know, what has,
00:33:45.820
what's happened to me a number of times is a number of times in my life. I've, I've had people
00:33:51.700
mistreat me. And then later on down the road, they come back and apologize. And they said,
00:33:57.500
dude, you know what? I actually had two people do this to me in the last like two weeks. And it
00:34:02.040
was, it was really nice actually. But I had a couple of people, you know, message me and want
00:34:07.560
to get on the phone and basically apologize for, for the way that they treated me many years ago,
00:34:13.440
you know? And I just thought that was, I thought that was cool, you know? And so like,
00:34:18.260
and that's not the first two times that's happened. That's just the most recent times.
00:34:21.700
But you know, a lot of times people will come back around and they'll say, you know what, bro?
00:34:26.360
That wasn't cool of me. I feel bad. I'm sorry. And like, you know, dude, people are doing the
00:34:32.680
best they can. Like that's, that's really the reality. You know, there's some, there's some
00:34:36.340
fucked up shit going on in the world. It's hard to fucking get by in the world right now. It's very
00:34:40.680
chaotic. It's very stressful. And I think by having grace, um, we can kind of like
00:34:45.220
smooth some of the, of the hardship over between human beings. I think, I really think that's the
00:34:53.340
answer. You know, like the way the system is set up, they want us to fucking attack each other.
00:34:58.600
They want us to hate each other. They want us to spend all day on social media, attacking the
00:35:03.040
things that we don't like. And I think it's important for people to, to realize that if you
00:35:08.300
want that to stop, you have to live that example. And that's, that's a, that's a very difficult thing to
00:35:13.060
do. It's very, it's very easy to just get sucked into the division, to get sucked into the cancel
00:35:18.460
culture, to get sucked into the fucking mob mentality. That's easy. You know, what's hard
00:35:23.360
is saying, nah, y'all are wrong. That ain't cool. And they might've fucked up, but that ain't who that
00:35:28.720
person is. And like taking a fucking stance on them, you know, that's, that's the harder path.
00:35:33.960
And I think usually it's the right path. And sometimes you're going to give people grace three or
00:35:38.340
four times and you're going to realize that they're just a shitty person. And, uh, you just
00:35:42.920
move the fuck on, you know, that there's caveat there too. And sometimes people are going to do
00:35:46.940
cross a boundary and you're going to have to stand up for yourself. And sometimes that means some
00:35:50.700
difficult things as well. But I think in most cases, you know, grace is where, uh, grace is
00:35:56.640
applicable. And I think it helps society, culture, and the world. Absolutely, man. I love it.
00:36:03.180
Well, Andy, that was three, man. Yeah. Don't pay the fee.
00:36:06.580
Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a pole. Fuck a stove.
00:36:11.700
Counted millions in the cold. Bad bitch, booted swole. Got her on bankroll.
00:36:16.880
Can't fold. Doesn't know. Headshot. Case closed.