501. Q&AF： Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, Being Too Nice To Customers & Making First Million
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Summary
On this episode of the Ask the Realists, Andi and Andi are joined by their handsome co-host over here, Dj, as they discuss a variety of topics including: 1. Why do you do cold plunges? 2. How do you become a cold plunge master? 3. What are the benefits of cold plunging? 4. Why is it important to do it every day? 5. Why the hell do you need to be doing it? 6. How does it help you grow your business?
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies
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the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys
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today we have q and af that's where you submit the q's and i give you the as you can submit those
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questions a couple different ways the first way is guys email those questions into ask andy at
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andy for seller.com or if you're watching this on youtube which is fairly new for us
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you could drop your questions in the comment section under this episode and make sure you
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click subscribe and we'll pick some of the uh questions that y'all leave in the comments for
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the show as well so that's how you can do it on the q and af episodes now this is your first time
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listening like it is for a few of you every single time we have multiple different formats inside the
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show all right we have q and af that's what you're going to hear today that's educational uh personal
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development how to kick ass in life and business uh type question and answer generally i will answer
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all kinds of different questions but usually it's personal development theme then we have cti that
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stands for cruise the internet that's where we talk about current events we talk about what's going on
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in the world we throw up headlines on the screen we talk about what may be true what uh probably
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isn't true we speculate on what we think it means and we have a good time doing it all right then we
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have real talk real talk is five to twenty minutes of me just giving you some real talk and then we
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have full length full length is what you see on most other podcasts um where we have a bunch of people
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in the room and we have a conversation okay so that's the format of the show now i do share with you
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24 years of business advice personal development advice and i give it to you as always for free
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all right i don't run ads for the show i don't run ads on the show i don't take 30 minutes of your time
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reading ads and taking money from some shit that i don't even use uh to put a little extra coin a
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little extra coin in my pocket all right in exchange for that i would appreciate if you guys would just
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help us grow the show if we if the show's good if it makes you laugh if you learn something if it makes
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you think if it uh change your perspective if you thought it was entertaining if it wasn't a
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waste of your time please help us grow the show by sharing it so when i say pay the fee that's what
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that means so that's the uh ground rules of the show and how we do things here and then uh you know
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as always i'm joined by my handsome co-host over here dj hello children what's going on what's going
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on brother oh not much just been running around today like a fucking animal yeah this whole week bro
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at least you look good doing it hey it could be worse you know i'm saying that could be ugly
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that's what i'm saying that's right uh so we talked about a little bit i wanted to to see if uh you want
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to talk about on the air but you've been uh you've added something into your daily regimen dude i gotta
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talk about it and i am i i know i've made all right look i i'll say when i'm wrong i feel like disclaimer
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i've been trying to get you to do do these things no for at least a year bullshit you've been doing
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them occasionally yeah but i've been trying to get you to do it all right look so because i will
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admit when i'm wrong i have to say first of all that i'm sorry for making fun of the people that
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that do cold plunges on the internet i'd like to apologize to you guys because i actually started
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doing it every day all right so i bought a cold plunge the actual cold plunge brand right a really nice
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product we have it here at hq um definitely you know it's not required but it's it's a nice
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it's a nice product yeah uh had it back on the rack in the warehouse for almost a year
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no actually fucking two years oh damn i didn't know that yeah because when we how long how long
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we had it here at hq about two years however long we had at hq i had one in the back for me
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that i didn't i didn't ever have set up and uh so i started talking to my buddy who does it every
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day and ran a big fucking company and i asked him i said well why do you why do you do it every day
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like tell me tell me about it bro because this guy's this guy's a fucking this guy's a winner
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like you know and like when i see people that i respect that have done amazing things and they're
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winning i want to know i want to know why because everything someone like that does they do for a
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reason and so i asked him i said hey bro tell me about this so he goes on to tell me he's like well
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dude look and he's this guy's about 10 years older than me okay all right so uh and then sold his
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company you know i don't know a few years ago but anyway he was saying well dude look you know uh
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after running that company for so many years my nervous system was totally fucking destroyed
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he's like you know anxiety depression fucking uh you know and this is true and any of you guys who
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are in entrepreneurship you understand that it never stops it never sleeps you know this isn't the this
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isn't the 1980s where you know the ceo clocks out at 4 p.m or 5 p.m and nobody can find out where he
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is because there's no cell phones there's no fucking technology this shit never stops and because it
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never stops it really fucks up your life in a lot of ways and you pay a big price for it and the price
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you pay after doing it for 24 years is that you have ridiculous anxiety that you cannot control
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uh you have low fucking serotonin dopamine meaning you're a miserable fuck all right and um you're
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frustrated all the time and you hate people all the time and that's pretty much where i was at
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and he's he was telling me he was telling me this shit and i'm like well fuck i know what that's like
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yeah and um and he's like but here's the thing he's like when you get into this cold plunge
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that cold temperature uh starts to reprogram your nervous system we had to talk about it
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and a lot of it has to do with your vagus nerve that's in the in your in your body when you put
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cold you apply cold to it it actually helps increase uh you know all the good hormones the
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dopamine levels 200 and all these different things that make you feel good so anyway so he's like bro
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it fucking changed my whole life he's like if i had you know if i had done this before i you know
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maybe i would have felt differently right not sold a company so um you know i'm like fuck it well i'll
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fucking try it right the first day and i've done these before right but i haven't done them
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committed like meaning every single day right and you know when i've done them before those i felt
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fucking great the first time i ever did one i did one with uh dave sparks it was my 40th birthday
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except they were all in town for my it was like a bunch of people it was dave uh rob bailey like
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uh a bunch of my buddies just from you know just my actual buddies in real life were at my house for
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my 40th and we ended up getting fucking shit face the night before the actual party okay right so like
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i was super fucked up like i was super like not at the party the day before the day before the party we
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had the fucking party pre-party yeah pre-game all right so the pre-party you know fuck i'm 40 now
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right i fucking why me to fuck out so no spring chicken dude i swear to god i don't you're the
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second person to say that to me today what spring chicken yes fuck you i'll tell you who the other
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one is you laugh but i'm gonna say it on the air well i bet the other one definitely no spring chicken
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uh no he's the same age as me every single person on listening to the show knows who he is
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every single one so anyhow um he's like yeah it changed my life so i fucking i said all right well
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look i've done i've done the therapy that was bullshit dude like it's hard to really get therapy
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from someone who has no fucking idea what it is you're going through it has never experienced even
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one day of it right so like that was bullshit i fucking stopped that i was like yeah okay yeah
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you're you're shut the fuck up you know i get what this is going you're gonna keep seeing me
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right i'm never going to get better and you just want to keep telling me how the fuck i feel right
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exactly yeah it's a fucking 380 billion dollar industry of bullshit yeah all right um so i tried
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at least for people like me okay so try that shit didn't work try fucking antidepressants totally
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fucked me up i was on them for 11 years fucked up everything in my fucking life made me not feel
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any happiness made me fucking uh you know i didn't i wasn't as depressed just numb i just numbed
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everything which actually may have served me over the last decade and what i did with business okay
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um because you kind of have to be that way to do it uh you know i've made a lot of progress
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with my mental health the last four or five years with the live hard program that's worked very well
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but the the anxiety part and the dopamine part like i still wasn't ever feeling normal i felt like i was
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just not feeling um like a normal human being it's just hard to explain unless you're in this spot
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and and what i think happened was i've been dealing with so much stress for so fucking long
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that my nervous system completely it was just not working at all and so i i started reading about some
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of the stuff he was telling me about with the cold therapy and shit and i'm like fuck it i'll fucking try
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it all right so i tried it uh today was my sixth day okay all right sixth day in a row i cannot
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overstate how much better i feel mentally meaning yes i feel good physically yes it's helped me
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recover yeah like it's mental toughness shit right like yeah i'm like when i get out of the
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motherfucker i'm like yeah these fucking guys ain't doing that shit okay i get it there's an aspect
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yeah i love it and i do it first thing in the morning right out of bed um but the
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whatever's happening with that vagus nerve inside my body has made me for the last took about three
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days to really feel anything like it but now i almost feel like fucking normal like i didn't go
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through any of that stress for the last fucking 24 years like i almost feel like i felt before i got
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into business and that's gonna make me really fucking dangerous in business yeah you know i'm saying
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because like now i'm i'm going to run everybody the fuck over yeah um and i feel good right uh
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so anyway the point in bringing this up or you know in saying this is like dude i think that for
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people that suffer from anxiety and depression before you go try any of this other shit start doing
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cold immersion therapy for fucking three minutes a day first thing in the morning try it for you know
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and i i was told and i don't know this because i'm only on day six but i was told that it takes
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about three weeks for you to really feel the benefits of it in this regard but i can tell you
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after six days i fucking already get it so if i continue to get better over the next three weeks
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fuck that's that's gravy for me because i feel fucking great right now yeah so if you're suffering
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from this this stuff if this is something that you consistently deal with like i dealt with this
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for a long long long time okay it doesn't matter what it's from it could be ptsd it could be you
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know overload of long-term you know chronic stress etc etc etc if you're suffering with these things
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try this try this out that's all i'm saying like try try getting in a fucking cold plunge every single
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day first thing in the morning however you got to do it if your gym has one or you know somebody who
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has one or if you even got to just go get a bucket must i've seen people take the fucking beer and
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that's fine whiskey barrels yeah the barrel that there's that company that makes those barrels
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there's cold plunge company there's a number of different options i will say that i use the cold
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plunge company one i think it's a fucking it's an amazing product it looks good huh not mad yeah it's
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not no this is really not it's real shit yeah like the i i well the dude those are big boy big
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boy approved too man because yeah you feel like i'm yeah i'm i'm a big motherfucker yeah i think
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they might make extra different sizes of those i'm not sure but they're like five grand you know
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and it's a big investment so like but i'm telling you dude like that five grand is probably the best
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five grand i ever fucking spent my whole life after just six days so there's a free plug for for cold
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plunge i know i said no ads but like here's the deal and they're not paying me this is just real
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shit right um they give me a free tank they didn't you know there was no fuck it was none of that
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and however you decide to do it like i got guys here that use uh like those big plastic containers
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and they fill it with ice same thing however you got to do it yeah you got to make sure that you get
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in all the way to your fucking to where the back of your neck is in the water for and what i'm doing
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for three minutes and i'd be curious to hear from you guys after trying it you guys who are really
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like and this is not i'm not saying it'll fucking cure you i'm not saying it's the i'm not saying
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stop doing whatever else you're doing i'm just explaining to you that out of all the things i've
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tried and done there's been not even a nothing comparable to the amount of benefit that i get
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for such a small commitment of time and i i'm sold on it i'll probably never fucking ever like i probably
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never go a day in my life without doing it i'll ever ask you that that's gonna be the tough part how
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the hell do we do that when we go travel well motherfucker we're gonna be filling that bathtub
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with ice i'll never not do it because of how good i fucking feel and another thing is i'm sleeping
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now yeah like i haven't slept in 20 years dude people think i'm full of shit like i sleep i sleep
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one two hours a day for the last 20 years so you're saying by doing it in the morning and then you go
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your whole day i know your normal work schedule you're sleeping better at night even just from those
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three minutes in the morning yeah absolutely wow and then also another thing that's because like
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after i do it i get in the shower so i don't get in the shower hot either i go take a cold shower and
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i turn the water fully on cold but dude because the water in the plunge is so cold and actually you
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can't tell that the water in the shower is cold so you're actually getting a little bit more cold
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immersion that you would so it's like a bonus and like dude if you take like 30 minutes showers
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probably don't want to do that but i'm like real low maintenance bro i get the fucking i get the
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critical parts i get the fuck out you know so i'm in there i'm in there for three or four
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minutes with small crevices yeah right right like i'm doing my butt you know i'm fucking doing my
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underarms with the loofah get my wiener you know i'm getting the fuck out you know so like uh you
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know i might i might you know put some shampoo in my hair or whatever but like i'm fucking it's quick
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um but i'm telling you dude like real talk and i i can't you guys have been listening to me for
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almost a decade all right we've been on audio platforms for almost a decade killing it you've never
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heard me fucking plug something like that before ever never done it well i'm excited to see yeah
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well almost one week down so we'll see what we're at in two weeks yeah it doesn't matter like if you
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don't have the five grain so that's expensive i will tell you if you do have the five grand i will
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say i truly that product is a great fucking product it looks good it doesn't like you know
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i don't want shit that looks bad i don't want to look weird it looks nice you know i'm saying
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itself it's like right it's easy yeah so yeah dude i'm um well that's good man yeah and i think
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that if you can't do the cold plunge i would highly encourage you to use ice therapy on the back of
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your neck for like at least three minutes every single morning when you wake up first thing try
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that because dude i'm telling you there's something to that vegas nerve um i know huberman's talked
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about it a few times i haven't really you know i can't really watch anybody else's shit because i'm too
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busy running my business and then making this uh but a lot of my friends and dr gabriel
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told me uh about you know the benefits of this shit but like bro i don't think they recommend
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it not saying they don't recommend like they human and dr gabriel do but i'm saying i think this is a
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known thing that they don't talk about or tell people about because it's so cheap and easy that
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they can't make money about it i think it's another one of those things because i'm telling you dude it
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made every other thing i ever fucking tried a joke yeah including weed including fucking like any drug
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including anything it's not comparable and i think everybody in this building this week would
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say man what the fuck is going on with andy well i don't know i'm getting some fucking dope mean for
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the first time in 20 fucking years you know my my fucking brain i don't want to fucking blow my
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brains out every single second of the fucking day i mean even thinking about like this i mean
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i think i was a lot worse bro i think my body was in a lot worse shape than i actually realized it was
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after feeling how i feel now i had forgotten i had forgotten that people feel this way
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that's how good i feel like i i fuck i'm like fuck dude i forgot what this feels like
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that's how long it's been it's deep yeah it's deep yeah i mean just adding on to the part of like you
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know why they wouldn't want people like this is not advertised because could you imagine you know
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half the american population walking around with no anxiety and happy and full of you know i'm saying
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could you imagine how much more productive are you gonna be that's why i said dude like when i say run
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you over i don't mean you i'm just saying whatever comes my way yeah like i'm gonna fucking dude
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whatever i'm doing a week ago is now getting done by fucking 10 o'clock a.m and i'm killing it
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it's a superpower bro i'm just telling you dude yeah if you're a fucking if you're a fucking military guy
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who has the ptsd who maybe you went through an injury or you witnessed some shit or whatever
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dude at least give it a try try for three weeks try for i'm committing to a minimum of three weeks i
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don't think even after what i've seen for six days i don't think there's a single fucking day i could
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miss that's how important it's become to me already damn man well like i said well we'll check in with
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you in about two weeks yeah i'm excited for you i'm just listen i'm just telling the truth like
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yeah you know that's real shit i hope i hope those cold plunge guys make a whole bunch of money
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off of this because it will help a lot of people yeah that's real yeah that's real well we we can
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help some people today yeah we're gonna that's what we do here q a man and i got some good ones for
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you so let's uh let's dive into these um andy question number one uh andy i struggle with imposter
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syndrome uh in the past 12 months of my business everything is on the upswing on the outside everyone
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views me as uh quote becoming successful and the numbers support that but i internally uh but
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internally i struggle with the feelings of whether i'm doing the things right uh whether i'm doing
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enough and i question everything that i'm filled uh and i'm filled with anxiety and doubt when you
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were building your businesses did you struggle with this and uh and if you did how'd you overcome it
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i still struggle with it yeah i still struggle with it every single day every single you know this
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i come in here every day i'm like why do these people listen to me why why do people care what
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i have to say and like bro it should be obvious like when i sit back and i like look at it logically
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just like this person i'm like oh well yeah that makes sense like i've done some real shit and at a
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large scale and a whole bunch of different things i built multiple companies i created maybe the most
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popular fitness program that's ever fucking existed mental mental toughness program it's ever first
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you know like i've done a lot of things like and so like then when i look at it logically i'm like oh
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okay this makes sense um but you know i still on the inside i'm just a normal person and i think
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that's where it is that's the truth like like whoever it is that you look at from the outside
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you have to remember they're still a normal person on the inside and this is why i hate internet culture
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so much and how brutal it is to some people because dude like a lot of those people that you guys think
00:19:02.980
it's okay just to tear down because they're a big name and they should be able to handle it those
00:19:07.300
are just normal people just like you dude like what if the whole world was coming down on you
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you know what i'm saying like we didn't have more grace for each other in that regard but i think you
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know uh the imposter syndrome is something that like if most people are being honest they struggle
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with a little bit from time to time at a bare minimum um but i know in those times like what i do
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is i i actually remove myself from me and pretend like i'm observing me and would i find myself credible
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if i were observing me from the outside and the answer is always fuck yeah you know what i'm saying
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and in fact like and i'm just being real i don't know a whole lot of people that i would listen to
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more than that yeah because of the the you know the fucking results produced the pudding baby yeah
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that's it and like that's why i stress for you guys to follow people who have actually produced real
00:19:49.680
results because a lot of people are now think about the imposter syndrome of the people who are
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pretending to have produced shit that haven't right like those people are the most insecure which is why
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you see them lose their motherfucking minds on social media all the time yeah right so um there's
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a book i read a long time ago that i thought was good uh on this topic it's called you are a badass by
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a woman named jen sincero uh i thought that was a really good book um on this exact topic and it's much
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more in depth than what i can answer here but i thought that was helpful for me at the time i probably
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read that book 10 years ago um but you know i think this is a natural progression dude and i don't think
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you're abnormal for for for feeling that way and i also think that it it's okay to feel that way too
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because those feelings actually keep us humble right would you want to be someone who just believed
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all your own fucking positive press clippings and think you're the fucking you'd become the biggest
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egotistical fuckhead on the world so a lot of that imposter syndrome if we use it properly serves us
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very well because it keeps us humble and keeps us hungry because when we're humble and we're hungry
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uh you know we can progress but like a lot of people again they they mistake humility they think
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humility is not say anything not do anything not be anything and just shut up and go live a small
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life and you know be happy with what you have be happy with your porridge peasant like right that's
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what they think humility is and humility isn't that dude humility is recognizing that i am no better
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than uh the person who has to you know take out the trash uh and i am no less than the person who
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is worth a hundred billion dollars and we start to recognize that we are all still human beings
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and we have capabilities and uh it's not that you know we think less of other people it's that we
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actually think more of the people behind us and so we find a good baseline of humility there you know
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what i'm saying yeah absolutely man absolutely so like that when you're humble like that and you
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understand that okay you're not as good as you as you are at the best you've ever been but you're also
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not shit when people tell you you're shit that gives you a good baseline for self-confidence and
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self-esteem right so like these all things all these things intertwine man and it's uh it's interesting
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how people see it but i think the imposter syndrome thing is a normal a normal i think of most
00:22:07.520
entrepreneurs who have any sort of success or following or or financial financial growth or
00:22:14.180
they own anything i think if you ask them dude like and you got them to be real they're all going
00:22:18.440
to struggle with that i haven't really met anybody that doesn't yeah so is it safe to say like even
00:22:24.600
going off of the intro conversation things like anxiety uh things like imposter syndrome right while
00:22:30.100
most people will look at these things as signs that okay it's time to quit this isn't for me
00:22:34.460
those are actually the common denominators of what it takes to become successful he's just looking at
00:22:40.000
it the wrong way and maybe not dealing with it appropriately yeah i think the way to leverage it
00:22:44.240
for yourself is to say okay i'm feeling low about myself right now um things seem to be good but i do
00:22:50.880
have work to do and then go do that work and just do it yeah yeah i want to touch back on what i said
00:22:55.320
about humility you know like people misunderstand humility they think a lot of people think that it's
00:23:00.400
you know you have to think of less of yourself but you can also be humble and think more of others
00:23:06.320
you see what i'm saying yeah people try to remove themselves from the spotlight does that make sense
00:23:11.420
because like bro when i look at other motherfuckers the whole my whole thing is is i look at people
00:23:15.820
and i'm like bro you're capable of so much more and that's not that's not me thinking i'm better than
00:23:20.600
you that's i'm saying you're underliving your potential there's nothing egotistical or arrogant
00:23:25.420
about that that's how that's humility because what i'm saying is i see the same things i have
00:23:31.540
in you and you're just not capitalizing on them and i'm trying to raise you up you see what i'm
00:23:35.780
saying absolutely so a lot of times people will judge people as not humble because they're you know
00:23:40.920
they love themselves real talk like i'm proud of who the fuck i am i'm proud of what i am i'm proud
00:23:45.800
of what i've done at the same time i think any of you listening are capable of doing what i've done
00:23:49.920
you see what i'm saying there's nothing not humble about that yeah absolutely man humble is a funny
00:23:57.020
thing bro yeah most people use it as an excuse to attack other people you know yeah because of
00:24:02.800
their own inability that's right yeah well and like bro there's people that you know there's people on
00:24:06.980
the internet talk about humility all the time bro and then you go to their page and every single
00:24:10.700
fucking post of theirs is you know them with no shirt on or that or all their material shit or
00:24:15.980
whatever and it's like look man like you're not fooling nobody you know i'm saying like being
00:24:21.840
humble is really it's really a a value of service and a perspective that you see other people as as
00:24:29.320
as the same as you and and how could i how could i honestly dedicate my entire life to helping other
00:24:38.440
people win if i wasn't humble enough to realize that the people i'm trying to help win have the same
00:24:43.720
qualities i have right you see what i'm saying right so it doesn't matter how many fucks i use
00:24:48.300
or how my tone is or how many fucking nice ass cars i have i still know that i'm no better than
00:24:53.800
anybody listening and i know that every motherfucker listening to this show right now you right now have
00:24:58.380
every bit of capability that i had the exact same you just got to fucking execute me andy question
00:25:04.820
number two andy uh andy i'm a big time listener from switzerland my boss thinks i'm too good
00:25:12.840
natured towards customers i often hear at work or in private life that i'm very nice and helpful
00:25:19.020
and almost too well behaved i think that there are enough dickheads in the world why should i become
00:25:25.040
one too but on the other hand i see how guys that are assholes overtake me occupy high positions
00:25:31.300
and seem to get what they want in life my wife says i shouldn't change but i'm starting to doubt
00:25:36.400
my niceness what would you advise me to do um i would advise you to look at the situation as a
00:25:43.200
realist what you're doing is you're confusing two different things as one thing you are looking at
00:25:48.700
people who have achieved more than you and you are saying the reason they have achieved more than you
00:25:52.300
is because they're an asshole that is not why they have achieved more than you the reason they have
00:25:56.020
achieved more than you is because they are probably higher skilled but they also have something that
00:26:00.020
you don't have which you need to develop which is the ability to stand up for yourself when the time
00:26:04.360
comes okay you can be the nicest person in the world you can give people the shirt off your back
00:26:09.320
you can help people as much as possible and when you become that nice person you also become a target
00:26:15.480
for high level manipulative people who will walk all over you and if you don't have a strong boundary
00:26:20.600
that you are willing to say hey listen i'm a nice guy but don't fuck with me okay if you don't
00:26:26.260
have that ability in you you're going to get walked all over so you have to develop a little bit
00:26:31.720
of an edge there bro you have to learn where your boundary is of people um not walking all over
00:26:37.700
you and you also have to identify that the difference between you and the quote-unquote asshole
00:26:42.340
probably isn't that they're an asshole it's probably that they have a boundary that you think
00:26:46.840
is being mean when in reality it's a necessary skill that you must have to occupy the position and continue
00:26:53.440
to move up the scale so you have to look at setting a boundary as a skill set and and keep the
00:26:59.320
niceness don't lose the good nature ship bro the world needs more of that than than it's ever needed
00:27:03.880
before ever both can exist yeah and both can exist and they are not they are not uh you know two
00:27:09.740
different things they can be the same fucking thing but you're seeing it the wrong way that's why you
00:27:14.760
think it's the you can't have this you people think like binary right i can only be if i'm nice i can
00:27:20.600
never be mean right that's not true right i'm nice as fuck bro but i'm gonna tell you if you step on
00:27:25.620
my toes i'm gonna stomp on yours every single time every single time and that's that's what's
00:27:30.820
allowed me to continue to progress because while i am nice generous and will help you people start
00:27:37.120
to respect me because they know okay let's not take advantage of that because we know bad things
00:27:42.080
won't occur right right i heard that one time they got you know step on his toes yeah right exactly
00:27:47.040
you make an example of a few of those people they stop fucking with you okay jordan peterson talks about
00:27:51.320
this when he talks about everybody should become a fucking monster and then learn to control it
00:27:56.500
all right so that's what that is like i will tear your motherfucking head off dude and everybody
00:28:02.580
fucking knows it but here's the thing i don't go there i don't go i have the capacity to go there
00:28:08.060
but i don't fucking go there i will i will let in fact i will let people have as much grace as possible
00:28:14.720
because i know once that line is crossed it it's it's not good it's a monster that's right and so like
00:28:20.180
dude what you need to work on and what all of you need to work on who are nice good people
00:28:23.820
is developing that ability to just say no and that's that's the boundary it's the boundary of
00:28:30.540
saying no when you mean no right no is a powerful statement and it's also a complete sentence and it
00:28:36.020
requires no explanation i do not need to explain to you why the answer is fucking no the answer is
00:28:42.100
fucking no no oh well why not because i said so well why not because i feel like it why not i don't
00:28:48.560
because it doesn't matter it's no and we all have the right to be that way and in society bro we've
00:28:54.340
lost that skill set of saying no because it's been deemed impolite or or or mean it's not mean it's
00:29:02.260
simple communication like and change your perspective from it being a mean thing setting
00:29:07.660
a boundary and just understand it's simple communication it's very simple like no i'm not
00:29:13.200
doing that or no i'm not or hey uh that was bullshit like start to fucking tell people whenever
00:29:20.080
they cross over that line and people will start to learn where the line is if you don't let them
00:29:24.460
know if people don't know where the line is bro then then they will they will walk as far until that
00:29:30.520
line exists and if that line doesn't exist i'll walk right over you or even worse you just keep
00:29:34.400
redrawing the line after it gets crossed yeah you know i'm saying that's a downward spiral yeah and
00:29:39.580
it's you know it's um it's a it's a weird thing like dude i don't think i don't think that there's
00:29:46.120
anything wrong with being kind or nice or any of those things and i think a lot of times people
00:29:50.800
like even for me i think people misperceive me and misunderstand me a lot of times like they hear
00:29:56.400
me get fired up or passionate about something i care about or that because i use profanity in the
00:30:02.220
most artistic way possible okay and got a gold fucking medal for how good i use it yeah all right
00:30:07.740
um they think i'm a mean person right i'm not a mean person or ask anybody here if i'm a mean guy
00:30:13.920
or ask anybody spending time with me if i'm mean no i'm the probably one of the best fucking people
00:30:18.100
when it comes to helping people lifting people up doing good things in the world that fucking exist
00:30:22.140
the difference is is that if you step on my toes there's a fucking line there that i that i hold
00:30:27.300
very firmly and so like if you could develop that i think that's a great balance i think that's a
00:30:32.360
great way to be because that line gets crossed so so infrequently that in reality and then you know
00:30:38.120
once people know it's there they stop crossing it and then you can live a nice peaceful life and
00:30:42.500
everybody's happy everybody gets treated with respect you get to help people they get to they get to
00:30:47.220
receive your help it's that's how the world goes around we as a culture and humanity have just lost
00:30:53.920
the ability to be a uh confrontational in any sort of way um up it up to and including just saying no
00:31:03.440
yeah that's because it's all online now yeah but like 100 years ago i mean do you ever notice do you
00:31:09.600
ever notice like this is something that i see online a lot that i wish people would realize like do you
00:31:14.520
ever notice how many people over explain themselves like do you ever notice how people will like whatever
00:31:21.640
they're posting or whatever they're saying online they have to like explain it sort of like you know
00:31:26.440
like they'll post a picture of their other car right and they're like i usually don't post this picture
00:31:31.300
of cars but blah blah blah blah blah or um they'll post a picture of the physique they built and they're
00:31:36.880
like well you know i usually don't post these selfies bro just fucking do it like stop explaining
00:31:44.000
yourself the the explanation that you're like preemptively trying to put in is is is diluting the
00:31:50.400
respect that people would have for you if you just owned who the fuck you were right and you just
00:31:54.500
say hey man fuck my fucking car is cool i think it's cool i hope you like it yeah right right like
00:31:59.460
just own who the fuck you know it's okay i'm proud of who the fuck i am i'm proud of my physique
00:32:05.000
you don't have to say shit post your shit and fucking you know like dude stop over explaining like
00:32:11.200
stop stop all this shit bro like you don't need you don't owe people an explanation you really don't
00:32:17.040
like and and dude when you over explain it lowers your value in people's eyes because people inherently
00:32:22.700
feel that on the inside they're like this doesn't feel right like it doesn't there's it doesn't pass
00:32:27.720
the smell test you know what i mean of confidence so like a lot like dude you know own who you are
00:32:34.580
man you're a fucking nice dude but don't fuck with me you know i'm saying i'll do anything for you but
00:32:39.660
don't fuck with me i'll i'll fucking i'll fucking come to your house i'll wash your car i'll fucking
00:32:44.520
mow your lawn don't fuck with me there's nothing wrong with that that's that's how we have to be
00:32:50.100
bro otherwise people will walk all over your whole life you know and and and you and and if you set
00:32:55.700
that standard and once you teach people how to behave and operate with you right now you have you
00:33:02.440
can go live your whole life being happy and peaceful and fun and jolly and all the shit that
00:33:06.060
you like to be and still be fucking successful and productive and win because you cannot win
00:33:10.860
without the ability to say no you can't fucking win that way can't do it can't do it bro i would
00:33:16.760
never promote someone in my company to a leadership position that didn't have how could i fucking put
00:33:22.320
someone in a leadership position think about this that couldn't fucking tell people no can't hold a
00:33:27.780
line yeah it's a fundamental reality skill that you have to have to be successful so like that shit
00:33:33.540
that you're perceiving as guys being asshole is just their boundary most likely and they're probably
00:33:37.740
skilled you know maybe they're not as nice as you but the world doesn't work on the fucking nice
00:33:43.060
rating bro the world works on the effectiveness rating what kind of results do you produce did the
00:33:47.660
job get done the reality is that it works so much that way that you have to be a total fucking
00:33:55.580
cocksucker to fuck it up if you're a high producing individual that's real it's real talk like you have
00:34:01.860
to be a terrible human to fuck it up if you're a high producing individual you have to the world
00:34:06.520
your guys's perception the world's perception of how it really works has been distorted and been
00:34:13.120
built to think that it's around your feelings and it's right it's still not that way it'll never be
00:34:18.040
that way it's still a meritocracy and so many people are playing by this other set of rules on
00:34:23.540
fucking feelings now that they're getting a rude awakening this is what i talked about on the mfceo
00:34:28.520
project for so long i talked about how these kids would come through life never being told no
00:34:34.320
getting participation trophies being told it was going to be easy being told they're entitled to
00:34:39.840
other people's wealth being told that socialism's a great thing being told all this shit right and
00:34:45.600
they believed it they're like fuck yeah okay well by the time i'm 25 dude i'll be i'll be getting
00:34:49.980
everybody's shit so i'll be good and now here they are they're unemployable they're throwing public
00:34:55.080
temper tantrums they're they fucking broke they're fucking miserable and then instead of saying man i
00:35:00.800
fucking made a mistake they're saying uh i'm choosing to be broken miserable that's my life
00:35:06.240
choice i'm humble i'm humble i'm simple i'm living a minimal minimalist life minimalist life you see i'm
00:35:13.420
saying like dude we're we're hold on let me take a sip of my ipa here yeah right like bro like like so
00:35:21.400
like i can very clearly see that you guys are not fucking happy and and i wish you guys would just
00:35:26.340
come to terms with you were sold a bag of shit for for the truth and the truth is skills pay the
00:35:31.600
fucking bills and it's going to be that way today it's going to be that way tomorrow it was this way
00:35:36.680
10 years ago it was this way 40 years ago it was this way a thousand years ago and it's going to be
00:35:41.100
that way a thousand years from now so the quicker that you can start to realize that this idealistic
00:35:46.320
fucking nonsense that they have pumped into people's brains that things operate on people's
00:35:50.960
feelings and start to operate with the understanding that it operates on results produced and skill sets
00:35:57.000
obtained and executed uh and leveraged to build and winning you'll start to win but you cannot
00:36:04.300
that's like playing that's like me and you sitting down for a game of chess and me starting to play
00:36:09.400
checkers on the board yeah right ain't gonna work i hate the game and like dude it's that simple like
00:36:14.200
it just isn't the game feelings aren't the game results produced are the game that is fucking it and
00:36:19.940
it'll always be that way and and you can be you have to be you can be as nice as fucking humanly
00:36:26.980
possible bro and if you don't understand the skills and you have no skills you can't win cannot
00:36:31.740
fucking win nice is not like a skill set in that regard you have to be able to produce now it's always
00:36:37.560
better if you're a fucking producer and a nice person that brings other people with you that's a
00:36:41.960
great way to be i think that's the way the world should be but this confusion that people generally
00:36:47.880
have about feelings and niceness and these things paying the bills is not accurate it's not true
00:36:55.020
it's not a real thing it's it's like okay you know this is like this is like the nice this is like the
00:37:01.760
nice guy uh with girls right like girls always talk about this shit they're like you know the fucking
00:37:08.380
guy friend with girls who's nice as shit brings them flowers this that the other and she doesn't want
00:37:14.220
to date him but he'll still fucking treat her like all this shit and then he ends up getting fucking
00:37:18.280
furious that she won't fuck him well here's the deal bro um you you feel entitled to her doing that
00:37:26.820
because you're doing this and this is no different than people who are nice in business oh i'm the
00:37:31.840
nicest guy ever i deserve to be rewarded that's your that's not even really genuinely nice that's
00:37:36.600
manipulation you you think that because you're nice you're you're here to produce you're gonna you're
00:37:41.940
entitled to some sort of success or result and that's not reality reality is you produce fucking
00:37:47.660
results with the skills you have and your personality is a plus or a minus to that like
00:37:53.040
the the whole game is misunderstood by an entire generation of people and that gives the people
00:37:58.300
who understand that a massive advantage over everybody else it is skills it is execution and it
00:38:04.920
is results and that is it i love it if you have a great personality which you should you'll do better
00:38:11.060
with skills execution and results it's a it's a it's a plus there's lots of people who do not have
00:38:17.220
the the personality that still have the skills execution results that do that make a fuck ton
00:38:23.180
of money and that's what i'm saying like you have to be a pretty terrible human being to really fuck
00:38:28.460
that up because that's so much how it works that way it's not even a little bit the other way
00:38:33.600
you follow me absolutely like dude you guys are playing the wrong game you're you're trying to play
00:38:38.780
checkers on a fucking chess board and then you're pissed off that you're not producing the results
00:38:43.080
well you've been told that the rules of chess are actually checkers your whole life and and that's
00:38:48.000
not my fault and it's nature and it's not the asshole's fault no it's not the asshole's fault it's
00:38:52.700
your fucking parents fault it's your teacher's fault and it's the people you trust his fault and it's also
00:38:56.840
your fault for not looking into other opinions besides theirs and so you believe the shit that they sold
00:39:02.240
you and now you're pissed and you're pissed at the people who are doing shit because they didn't buy the
00:39:06.660
lesson that you bought so just change your perspective and realize you got fucking lied to
00:39:10.460
and change your life and you'll be right there with them guys andy our third and final question
00:39:15.560
uh andy question number three andy i'm quickly approaching making my first million dollars in
00:39:21.740
my business that i've ran for the last five years can you walk us through your headspace when you made
00:39:27.540
your first million dollars did you have any new realizations did it change how you operate it
00:39:31.860
and what are what are some of the things that i should be mindful of uh when i get closer to this
00:39:37.040
milestone is he talking like personally make a million personally making a million dollars
00:39:42.360
i never thought anything of it because i wanted to make a billion so i never like like that was
00:39:48.520
expected for me the first time i made a million dollars i didn't celebrate i didn't think it was i
00:39:54.280
didn't think anything of it i was just like oh no made a million dollars that's how i thought about it
00:40:00.260
you know and uh not even for a second you were like damn okay that's a million right there no
00:40:04.960
not really and my shit just got nicer my house has got nicer my fucking cars got nicer business got
00:40:11.320
bigger and it was all the same yeah it's all the same dude i'm telling you what i tell you guys about
00:40:17.280
like it being there's a point of of your life where you're going to get enough money to where all the
00:40:24.220
money after that is going to feel very small to you it's not going to make an impact and and i don't i
00:40:29.980
didn't need to make a million dollars to be happy see what i'm saying so like when i could go to
00:40:35.160
dinner and i could pay for dinner and i have to look at the menu and not care and that doesn't
00:40:39.840
take a million dollars that takes less than a million dollars right so i didn't really think
00:40:44.260
anything of it i just didn't and i also think you need to be careful about how hard you value that
00:40:49.420
quote unquote specific number on your income because if that's what you value and that's what you see
00:40:54.700
that's the value that you set on yourself and it's most likely that because most people will fall
00:40:59.700
slightly short of their actual dream goal um because goals are not really truly achieved the
00:41:06.340
way that people think they're achieved most people will set a goal like say eight a million bucks
00:41:10.880
and they will get to eight hundred thousand dollars and then they will say okay well i'm close to a
00:41:15.420
million and they kind of just hang out at eight hundred thousand and tell themselves they're making a
00:41:18.840
million i'm a millionaire now right and they're not and that's how most people achieve goals so they
00:41:24.000
actually never achieve the goal but the champion the people who continue to grow and they never slow
00:41:28.560
now and never stop when those people get to eight hundred thousand they automatically take that goal
00:41:32.880
from a million to ten million and they just keep moving and they don't think about it when they
00:41:36.900
cross over that first goal even though because they've already raised the bar before they hit the
00:41:41.020
first goal so it's a different way of thinking uh that i think separates people who are are moderately
00:41:47.300
successful from people who continuously progress and grow and win more and more and more over the
00:41:52.480
course of their life so like i would be careful how much you put on a specific number because then
00:42:01.380
it makes it almost really impossible to reach you know shoot for it but then before you get to it
00:42:06.760
raise it up and continue to go and um that's that's my advice on that and as far as like i mean what
00:42:14.580
do you ask about uh you said and uh the final part of that question was what are some things that he
00:42:18.760
should be mindful of when you start making money and people start to realize that you're making
00:42:23.240
money a lot of people start to go into manipulation mode they start seeing you as a solution to their
00:42:30.340
problems instead of a friend uh they start seeing you as someone with no feelings and you have all the
00:42:35.920
money in the world and what difference does it make if you give me a hundred thousand because it's
00:42:40.300
not going to hurt you and they start feeling entitled to your your wealth and and the things and
00:42:46.540
and bro and when you don't give it to them a lot of those people will fucking hate you and so that's
00:42:50.480
that's a real thing so like um if you're going to make a lot of money you're going to have to get
00:42:55.260
used to people like hating you because it's it's just the culture in america right now when i grew
00:43:00.960
up the culture in america was we celebrated successful people because they were living the
00:43:05.460
american dream they were they were now you have all this communist propaganda that's infected
00:43:09.800
people's minds and it's not celebrated the same way and in fact we have such a useless
00:43:16.020
group of people a certain segment of society in our country is so useless that all they do is look
00:43:22.500
for ways to get other people shit and so like dude you become a target you get people who are
00:43:27.600
not ethical you know pretending to be your best friend uh and you'll get fooled a bunch of times
00:43:32.580
and you know especially if you're a nice guy like the guy in the last question you know um so you
00:43:39.100
got to be careful of that but i mean the reality is as much as i warn you you're not going to
00:43:43.120
believe it because the people that come at you are going to make you feel like you're the smartest
00:43:46.340
best fucking coolest thing ever and and you know you're going to believe it because you want to
00:43:51.980
believe that you're the smartest best and coolest thing ever so like people will play into your ego
00:43:56.240
they will pump you full of fucking shit that isn't even true uh they will make you feel you're so much
00:44:00.700
better than you are and this is why like this is why for me personally you guys will hear me downplay
00:44:06.380
my actual success most of the time you know what i'm saying like i like you say oh man congrats all the
00:44:11.760
success my answer is always well dude look i got a long way to go and i mean that you know what i'm
00:44:16.800
saying that because that that that helps defend me from people like coming at my ego you know i don't
00:44:22.880
like that shit and i can see when someone's doing it now i'm old enough and experienced them to see
00:44:27.220
it so a lot of you young motherfuckers that think you're smooching me you're actually just riding
00:44:31.320
yourself right off right off out of my life immediately oh you know what i'm saying absolutely it's so easy
00:44:36.760
to see once you've been through it a little bit but when you when you have to go through it when you
00:44:40.780
first start making money it's a um it's a more difficult thing to navigate yeah i love that man
00:44:47.320
so so you're saying just don't put too much pressure on that finite uh number and become more aware of
00:44:54.740
actually what's possible and know you're doing it right just elevate the number i i'm saying
00:44:59.700
realize that your goal is very fucking small and you need to set a new goal if you're if you're
00:45:07.440
that close to a million dollars stop talking about the million dollars start talking about
00:45:10.960
10 million dollars and keep fucking moving million dollars ain't what it used to be and i know a lot
00:45:16.700
of people are hearing this and they're saying oh yeah it's easy for someone with millions of dollars
00:45:20.520
yeah it is except i have many responsibilities and if i only had a million dollars i couldn't
00:45:25.360
fucking take care of them okay so like as you grow a company you're going to have more people
00:45:29.820
that that means more responsibility you are responsible for those people yeah like you you those
00:45:34.660
people's kids eat because of what the fuck you do and decisions you make yeah and if you if you
00:45:40.080
short circuit your fucking own goal setting because you think a million dollars a lot of money right now
00:45:45.440
you're actually not hurting you you're hurting them see what i'm saying so we have to fucking keep
00:45:50.620
ourselves moving because of the obligations that we have to other people that have helped us get there
00:45:55.280
so it's a it's a you know and that's a responsibility a lot of people don't think about
00:45:59.140
yeah yeah man you you get you get enough employees bro and they start you start getting to the age
00:46:04.060
where they're having families and kids and you see it on the internet and you you see them with
00:46:07.720
their kids and like bro it's a different thing it's a different thing it's not about you anymore
00:46:12.460
it's about holy shit like those little kids are not going to eat if i don't get the fuck up and do
00:46:16.860
my shit you know what i mean like that's a fucking that's i take that serious you know you guys
00:46:22.320
wonder why i fucking put in all this effort and do all these things and i'm out fucking killing myself
00:46:26.860
and shit it's not so like more people will do 75 hard or bro i have to do those things i'm not
00:46:33.920
a superhero i have to do those things just like you have to do those things to pull the best out of me
00:46:39.820
so that i can fulfill my responsibilities to the people that fucking have trusted me with their
00:46:44.180
livelihood it's a big fucking responsibility man you know so like if you're a fucking leader of a
00:46:50.040
company and you're just a fat sloppy fuck you're actually fucking all the people that work for you bro
00:46:54.380
because you're not pulling one fucking ounce of your abilities into what it is you're capable of
00:46:59.300
doing and i think that's a fucking terrible tragedy for people and and dude if you're working for
00:47:04.360
someone who ain't living the fucking life and who isn't fucking like taking it that serious maybe you
00:47:10.100
should consider relocating working for someone who fucking does take it that serious because dude
00:47:14.700
and those people are very rare but those kind of people will pull you fucking to the highest highs
00:47:20.460
you've never fucking been to and i think that's that's a big deal yeah we only get one life bro we
00:47:25.640
only have so much time you know what i mean that's fucking real man i love it well guys andy that was
00:47:32.080
three man go pay the fee yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole
00:47:39.620
fuck a stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted swoke got her on bankroll can't fold