517. Q&AF： Being Hard On Yourself, Organizing Your Goals & Becoming A Great Intrapreneur
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
197.41187
Summary
In this episode of For the Realist's Sake, DJ and Andy talk about how to deal with people who are overly hard on themselves and how to stop being a fuckboi. DJ talks about how he deals with it, and Andy talks about why he doesn't want to be a dick anymore.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realist's sake, goodbye
00:00:20.500
to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking
00:00:26.760
That's where you submit the Q's and we give you the answers.
00:00:28.800
All right, you can submit those questions a couple of different ways.
00:00:31.740
First way is, guys, you can email your questions into askandy at andypriscilla.com.
00:00:36.720
Second way is, now that we're on YouTube, which has been a lot of fun so far, if you
00:00:43.480
go on YouTube and you click subscribe and you go down in the comments of the Q&AF episodes
00:00:47.500
and drop your question in the comments, we'll pick some from there as well to answer live
00:00:52.200
We may actually be starting a new call-in type thing here soon, but we're trying to figure
00:00:56.700
So that might be a little, we might do a live Q&AF starting to come up and I can't
00:01:02.880
wait for you motherfuckers to try to stump me and I can roast you live on the fucking internet
00:01:07.720
Anyway, if this is your first time listening, welcome.
00:01:17.040
We have Q&AF, which is what you're going to hear today.
00:01:25.060
We speculate on what might be true, what may not be true, and how we can all as individuals
00:01:29.740
and collectively work to solve some of the problems going on in the world.
00:01:34.660
The next segment that we do is called Real Talk.
00:01:37.020
Real Talk is just five to 20 minutes of me just giving you a message that I think needs
00:01:41.880
Full length is what you see typically on most other podcasts where a bunch of people sit
00:01:56.220
And we bring people on who have accomplished great things, changed their lives, and we interview
00:02:03.100
And if you want to be on one of those shows, just send us your story, man.
00:02:06.800
You can email it in to 75hard at andyfrusella.com and we're going to pick you to possibly be
00:02:12.200
So send us an in-depth story of what this program has done for you, maybe even a video
00:02:17.160
too, and let us hear from you, get you right in here with us.
00:02:27.140
I do appreciate you guys when you support my companies and things that I have going on
00:02:34.000
And you don't have to listen to me talk about ads for stuff that I don't actually believe
00:02:38.800
So I don't run ads on the show and I ask in exchange for the value that I deliver.
00:02:42.200
And DJ delivers and the team here delivers to help you be better, to help you learn
00:02:49.580
A lot of times you guys will say, oh, Andy, everybody should be listening to the show.
00:02:55.340
But I need you guys to share the show for that to happen.
00:03:08.420
This is actually an interesting one because we got a little extra, a little special sauce
00:03:24.820
Andy, what's your opinion on people who are overly hard on themselves?
00:03:30.500
Perfectionistic, competitive, obsessive, compulsive, et cetera.
00:03:33.880
I feel like I'm all those things, but I've been holding back for a long time thinking
00:03:40.980
But I feel like I have to be those things in order to be great.
00:03:45.660
I want to be the best version of myself and enjoy the process doing it, but I don't know
00:03:55.080
Well, first of all, you should evaluate who is telling you these things are bad and who
00:04:00.620
And I bet if you evaluate their life and their existence and what they've created, you're
00:04:04.460
going to find out that it's not anything like what you're trying to build.
00:04:08.680
So realize that most people say that being competitive is unhealthy.
00:04:12.540
Most people say that being driven is unhealthy.
00:04:16.140
Most people say that being obsessed with building something is unhealthy.
00:04:20.260
Most people say that doing anything outside being a lazy piece of fucking shit is unhealthy.
00:04:24.860
When in reality, being a lazy piece of fucking shit is the most unhealthy thing that
00:04:29.920
So let's consider the source when we talk about who tells us these things and what have they
00:04:34.980
actually achieved and have they achieved anything that represents something that resembles what
00:04:50.900
There are a ton of people out there right now who are so involved and so sucked into victim
00:05:02.920
Oh, here's what I'm going to do on my Saturday.
00:05:05.280
You know, what I do is I mix up a little granola.
00:05:07.560
And then I go outside and I put my nuts on the suntan table so that I can get some sun on
00:05:15.680
And then after that, I hang out with my friends and we vibe out.
00:05:18.500
And then after that, you know, I might go and have a nice little walk and hold hands and
00:05:24.040
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:05:30.800
There's this cultural movement of vibing out, all right, that, you know, people try to explain
00:05:38.120
and justify why it is they're not working, why it is they're not hustling, why it is
00:05:43.600
they're not driven, why it is they're not ambitious, why it is they're not doing anything.
00:05:47.460
The real answer is they're not capable of doing it.
00:05:51.240
So they craft this message about how unhealthy it is and how destructive it is and how it's
00:05:57.940
immoral and materialistic and greedy and all these negative things because it's something
00:06:04.840
that they're not capable of following through with, all right?
00:06:08.680
So you have to understand that most people's message is more of a justification of their
00:06:15.140
own actions than actual message that's meant to help you, all right?
00:06:19.760
That's the first thing that you need to understand.
00:06:21.860
The second thing that you need to understand, and this is coming from someone who's actually
00:06:28.220
The list is pretty fucking long, and I'm still pretty fucking young, and I'm still
00:06:32.480
going to triple or quadruple that motherfucking list.
00:06:36.580
So these things that you're talking about, ambition, drive, commitment, being obsessed,
00:06:44.040
It's reasonable to be obsessed with your goals for certain periods of time in your life.
00:06:50.960
Not only is it reasonable, if you actually want to be great, it's actually required.
00:06:57.940
Being obsessed, being driven, being ambitious, being someone who works extremely hard, who
00:07:04.700
will not be pulled off the motherfucking path is a requirement of building something great,
00:07:09.960
and you're surrounded with people who are not committed to building anything great, and
00:07:14.240
they're telling you all this shit is unhealthy.
00:07:16.180
You have to be smart enough to let that filter through and not mean anything to you and continue
00:07:27.660
In fact, it's for a very small percentage of the population, and if we spend our entire
00:07:32.920
lives trying to get all of these people to approve of what we're doing, we won't ever
00:07:37.860
achieve anything because they're not even on the same path as us.
00:07:40.860
So you have to recognize that when you're on this path of becoming great at whatever
00:07:45.980
it is, whether it just be great as a human or great as a servant, maybe you're trying
00:07:51.560
Maybe you're trying to build the biggest motherfucking company that ever existed.
00:07:57.140
It's what's required to achieve this greatness that is the same, all right?
00:08:01.540
And all of these things that victim culture right now, the vibe out culture, victim culture
00:08:06.400
that society seems to be obsessed with, all of those things keep you from building those
00:08:13.600
things, which actually lends itself to a little tinfoil hat as to why is that the narrative?
00:08:19.620
Why is the narrative, calm down, take it easy, vibe out, be happy, live in the moment, you
00:08:34.860
Why is the movement, I have, you know, trauma, motherfucker, trauma used to be like you get
00:08:43.080
Trauma used to be getting stabbed in the fucking face, all right?
00:08:47.440
Trauma is not somebody said something mean to you.
00:08:51.640
Trauma is not, you know, your stepdad was an asshole to you, bro.
00:09:02.740
Trauma is, you know, Derek Wida getting his fucking leg shot off in fucking Iraq.
00:09:09.040
Trauma is Dakota Meyer going into a village where there's hundreds of people that he's
00:09:16.760
a part of that are dead by himself and pulling out his fucking bros who have all been killed.
00:09:23.940
Trauma is not somebody was mean to me or somebody said something aggressive to me or somebody
00:09:37.800
It's what we see, you know, dude, go look at, look at reels of people telling you what
00:09:44.180
And they have one who are telling you, this is what it fucking takes.
00:09:47.280
And they go look at reels of people saying, this is how I lit my candle to get over my trauma.
00:09:56.680
That's the shit that's people are fucking, you know, I want to be vulnerable with you guys.
00:10:03.800
They don't talk about all the shit they did in a relationship.
00:10:06.680
They don't talk about the mental abuse they did in a relationship.
00:10:09.940
They don't talk about them being a fucking psychotic fucking partner, do they?
00:10:15.640
So we have all this fucking bullshit that is called life that has now been built into
00:10:21.140
victim culture and called trauma, which now you're dealing with everybody in your circle
00:10:28.340
And if you try to live any life outside of sitting on the fucking couch and eating fucking
00:10:34.260
Doritos and consuming propaganda and being sucked into your phone, if you try to do anything
00:10:47.660
With all the money I make, I'll buy myself some therapy.
00:10:53.820
Like, dude, this shit that you're being told is unhealthy, a lot of you guys are mistakenly
00:11:07.260
You're not understanding, bro, that in 10 years, you're going to wish that you had this
00:11:10.840
time back and you had committed your youth to actually building something, a foundation
00:11:15.480
that you could stand on for the rest of your life.
00:11:27.980
I'm going to still be doing the same shit I'm doing now.
00:11:30.520
I've learned that fulfillment actually comes from the pursuit and the commitment to becoming
00:11:38.940
Your ultimate fulfillment is not you eating fucking bonbons with your homie on the fucking
00:11:50.160
It's committing yourself to becoming the best version of yourself and following through
00:11:54.260
on that day in and day out so that you can look backwards in the rearview mirror with
00:11:58.280
that perspective and say, motherfucker, I might not be where I want to be, but I gave
00:12:03.340
And that brings you peace and that brings you fulfillment and that brings you the lack
00:12:07.360
of regret, which is what we're all looking for.
00:12:09.660
And a lot of you guys have gotten so far sucked into this soft ass bitch ass culture that
00:12:14.780
promotes nothing but mediocrity in the long term that you will, you are going to live the
00:12:22.540
So all of these things they're telling you that are unhealthy are actually required to
00:12:26.900
build what it is that we all think of when we think of creating greatness.
00:12:31.720
And anybody who tells you fucking different hasn't built anything or is profiting from
00:12:40.320
What, when does this cross over this, this pursuit of greatness, this obsessive desire and
00:12:51.340
And when does this cross over to become an obligation?
00:12:54.380
I think we all have an obligation to live our highest standard.
00:12:57.120
I think, I think when we look around at the world and we look at what's going on and we
00:13:02.820
see people suffering and we see people struggling and we see people deciding to opt out.
00:13:09.520
Like a lot of you, a lot of these people that are telling you this shit is unhealthy.
00:13:18.000
And they've long ago decided that they weren't going to achieve them.
00:13:23.260
And so now they're going to convince you, like I said a minute ago, that they're giving
00:13:27.360
up is some sort of higher virtue than you still pursuing.
00:13:34.700
We're dealing with lots of people who are fighting their own internal regret, their own internal
00:13:39.340
inability to execute their own internal, you know, um, FOMO of not being able to achieve
00:13:48.160
So they don't, you don't go build your shit and they're sitting there by themselves, which
00:13:53.160
So look, man, culturally we're fucked and you have to change the culture by changing
00:14:03.240
The minute you hear these fucking words, the minute you say like, bro, fuck, you know what?
00:14:08.220
Uh, my brother, my sister, my dad, my mom, my uncle, my fucking neighbors, the people
00:14:17.380
And I'm over here like living this bullshit life.
00:14:23.100
So when you start to live a fucking good life and you start to become what it is that you're
00:14:26.780
supposed to become, other people start to see, Hey, I might be able to do that too.
00:14:36.580
Personal excellence is ultimate rebellion because it spreads.
00:14:40.720
It's something that people witness and then they want to do themselves.
00:14:46.060
And that's on us as individuals to do in our own little circles over here, over here, over
00:14:50.040
here, over here, over here, wherever the fuck you may be, wherever I may be, because
00:14:53.840
all those little ripple effects go out and create a better world.
00:14:56.820
And so if we really want to fix what's going on in the world and we really care about what's
00:15:00.380
going on in the world, getting on the internet and bitching about Donald Trump or bitching
00:15:04.940
about Joe Biden, ain't going to fucking fix it, bro.
00:15:08.880
You deciding that you have an obligation to become the best version of yourself and then
00:15:14.220
And then other people witnessing that and then deciding, well, I can do the same thing.
00:15:19.520
And then that ripple effect repeats from their epicenter.
00:15:29.200
Everybody wants to get the views and the downloads and the traffic and the fame.
00:15:33.080
Nobody actually wants to change themselves, which is what's going to change the world.
00:15:37.300
Donald Trump ain't fixing the fucking world, bro.
00:15:42.420
And any of these other fuckers in between ain't going to fix it.
00:15:50.480
And because you fixed your life, other people around you will fix theirs.
00:15:53.740
And if we want a culture and a society that lives at a high standard, that produces the
00:15:58.260
best, that is truly a representative of what this country is supposed to be, the pursuit
00:16:03.920
of opportunity and happiness and fulfillment and freedom, you have to live that and you
00:16:11.840
And without that, your words don't mean fucking anything.
00:16:19.540
Let's move into talking more about these goals that I guess young people need to have.
00:16:26.560
Andy, I'm 17 years old and I have high ambitions and goals.
00:16:30.480
My question is, how do you organize your goals?
00:16:34.020
Are you writing them in the notebook, doing something else that you found effective?
00:16:38.140
And when you have these goals in front of you, how do you go about being able to track
00:16:42.900
them each day to make sure you're doing the right things to get closer to?
00:16:47.520
Well, look, it takes a little bit of imagination and it's not a perfect science.
00:16:53.240
So the first thing that I do is I decide where I want to be.
00:16:59.120
Most people don't ever take the time to decide where they want to be in life.
00:17:04.480
They think more about what they're going to do on Friday night than what they think about
00:17:09.380
So you have to take some time to decide where it is you're going to go.
00:17:13.180
And that vision of where you're going to go should be as big as you can possibly comprehend
00:17:19.380
because you're actually way more capable than you realize you are right now.
00:17:23.460
And whatever vision you come up with at first, you're probably going to achieve in a relatively
00:17:27.900
short amount of time, meaning you could achieve that in less than 10 years.
00:17:37.720
I mean a short amount of time over the scale of your life.
00:17:42.000
So your big vision now that you take on now is probably going to be achieved pretty quick.
00:17:47.900
Like my first big vision that I had was I was flying on private jets and driving a Lamborghini.
00:17:53.240
And from the time I started visualizing that and working towards that goal, the time I achieved
00:18:08.380
And then start breaking the steps backwards of how you would achieve that.
00:18:16.460
How do I need to build this and work backwards from that vision to where you are now?
00:18:21.080
And then start taking what I give you for free, which is the power list.
00:18:31.800
And use the power list as your day-to-day checklist on how far you are moving towards your day-to-day
00:18:40.120
Because to get the big goal, you've got to make the steps happen between where you are
00:18:45.960
And then to make those steps happen, you have to execute on a day-by-day-by-day basis.
00:18:54.400
It's breaking down the big steps, the big, the big phases, then breaking it down to daily
00:18:58.520
actions and then executing on those particular actions.
00:19:02.080
Now, a lot of people get confused and they, you know, they don't really understand what
00:19:07.320
And they write stuff in there like, you know, my power list, five things to do.
00:19:11.520
And they write like, you know, get better at, you know, uh, weightlifting or do a better
00:19:22.240
A lot of you guys do not know how to fucking listen.
00:19:25.400
I'm giving you the tool in episode 16 that I have used to build multiple companies, not
00:19:32.620
one company, multiple, very successful companies.
00:19:37.160
We're not talking about companies that are worth $10 million.
00:19:40.160
We're talking about companies that are worth billions of dollars.
00:19:44.880
This is the exact fucking system I use exactly the system.
00:19:51.180
And somehow you guys don't fucking do it right.
00:19:56.440
Some of you guys posted on the internet and you put the wrong shit in there.
00:20:00.840
Like, bro, I can't help you if you're not willing to help yourself.
00:20:10.300
And then we will have a situation where you can learn how to start winning the day.
00:20:27.800
This is why when you follow me on Instagram, you see me every single day doing certain things
00:20:33.180
every single day over and over and over and over again.
00:20:37.560
I could come up with more creative content to post for you guys.
00:20:44.080
It's the little monotonous, boring shit that builds the life that you're looking for.
00:20:54.400
Most people cannot do the monotonous shit day in and day out, which is why they can't succeed.
00:21:03.380
They'll do it for 90 days, but they won't do it for their life.
00:21:06.600
And doing it for life is what it takes to build this vision that you have for yourself
00:21:18.200
And if you use them correct, I truly believe it's impossible to lose.
00:21:22.160
I believe it's impossible, impossible to fucking lose.
00:21:25.860
I believe that if you go listen to win the day, episode 16, and you follow that system
00:21:30.600
exactly as it's laid out, exactly as I tell you to, where you're writing critical tasks,
00:21:36.700
you're executing critical tasks, no more than five, okay?
00:21:41.440
And after 21 days, if you execute the same critical tasks, after 21 days, you remove that
00:21:46.100
critical task and replace it with a new one while continuing to do the one that you were
00:21:50.940
That doesn't mean you like, just go listen to the episode, follow it exactly, and it will
00:22:01.600
Dude, one thing that I realized when I first got with you is like how small my goals actually
00:22:07.140
And I think most people fall into that trap, right?
00:22:09.060
Like in high school, I remember the acronym that smart, make smart goals, right?
00:22:16.780
But like, you realize, like you said, like, I mean.
00:22:29.940
Who made the poster that said small, measurable, attainable goals?
00:22:40.360
You got to start listening to the right people.
00:22:42.240
You got to start listening to people who actually built the shit that you want to build
00:22:45.160
or have built significant things and could translate the methods that they use to build
00:22:55.580
If you listen to what I say, I can promise you, you're going to get a lot further than
00:23:06.760
Right now, we got every motherfucker on the internet posturing themselves as an actual
00:23:12.400
They got a little microphone and they're talking and they got some good shit to say.
00:23:21.960
And they might be on that one message, but the importance of actually vetting who it is
00:23:27.940
you're listening to cannot be overstated because a lot of these people can hear a buzz clip
00:23:33.380
or hear a thing and repeat it or spin it in their own way.
00:23:36.540
But if they've not actually used that to build real things, then how do you know the rest
00:23:44.200
We have a lot of people out there that say small attainable goals, blah, blah, blah, blah,
00:23:48.560
And then you look at their life and their fucking life sucks.
00:23:51.460
And then you say, well, why does your life look so shitty?
00:23:54.480
And then they say, well, I choose to live a modest life.
00:24:03.740
Like you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
00:24:05.780
And there's a 97% of those people to the 3% of actual credible people that are doing
00:24:12.200
real shit that can teach you real shit from their experience.
00:24:20.380
You need to vet who it is you're fucking listening to and see what they've actually done.
00:24:26.840
Because if you just listen to some dude, you have no idea whether or not that information
00:24:34.420
You know, like, I like, dude, I saw this fucking just because it looks good.
00:24:38.360
I saw this fucking has been celebrity dude on a fucking internet last night.
00:24:45.500
And I got, you know, this old ass fucking beater car and blah, blah, blah.
00:24:51.340
And all I wanted to do is like go in the video live and be like, yeah, you own that old
00:24:56.440
Cause you haven't been relevant in 30 fucking years.
00:24:59.260
Like, dude, I'm so tired of all these people making excuses about why they choose to live
00:25:04.520
But somehow they're enlightened and virtuous and know everything more than everybody else.
00:25:08.960
There's no virtue in living below what it is you're supposed to live.
00:25:16.480
You don't have to have a big house, but these motherfuckers sell you their fucking lack of
00:25:25.800
I don't want to learn from some fucking theoretical fucking has been.
00:25:29.900
I want to learn from someone who's kicking ass and you should too.
00:25:33.500
And it's very important to your future that you listen to the right people.
00:25:38.100
Andy, question number three, Andy, I just realized the college isn't for me.
00:25:44.260
I don't really have any inspirations to become an entrepreneur, but I know that I want to
00:25:52.220
What are three skills that I should be focusing on and developing to become an asset to a company
00:25:59.300
or mission as I haven't really been in the workforce before this?
00:26:07.240
You know, I like the fact that they say, you know, I'm not really sure entrepreneurship's
00:26:11.900
for me, because now, right now, that's the opposite of the trend.
00:26:15.260
Everybody thinks they're a fucking entrepreneur.
00:26:17.540
Everybody pretends to be an entrepreneur and very few people actually are entrepreneurs.
00:26:22.240
And so I admire the awareness that this person has, that they're trying to become a good
00:26:26.520
entrepreneur and a contributing member to a company, because that's the path of success
00:26:32.980
Most of you listening are going to become an amazing contributing entrepreneur, and you're
00:26:37.020
going to make a fuck ton of money and have a fuckload of fun working inside an organization
00:26:43.860
And by the way, much easier path, much easier path.
00:26:47.000
You don't have to carry the weight of everything on your fucking shoulders 24 hours a day, 365
00:26:59.200
Three skills that will help you to become an amazing entrepreneur.
00:27:07.920
The first one, none of you are going to be shocked, is mental toughness.
00:27:13.100
The biggest problem that most people have is that they do not lack the discipline to follow
00:27:18.640
through on the plan that they set for themselves.
00:27:22.240
99.9% of failures in life come from your inability to adhere to what you say you're going to
00:27:32.960
If you can fix that, if you can fix the problem with yourself, that you cannot follow the plan
00:27:39.540
that you lay out for yourself and actually transform yourself into someone who can execute the plan,
00:27:45.640
not only on the days they feel like it, but especially good on the days they don't feel like it.
00:27:55.260
So mental toughness, which encompasses the qualities of many, many different things.
00:28:01.200
Two, grit, fortitude, belief, self-esteem, confidence, the ability to endure pain, the ability to
00:28:09.040
suffer, the ability to do things when you don't feel like doing them.
00:28:12.520
These things all make up what I call mental toughness.
00:28:16.820
And this is the fucking main driving skillset for any successful person, simply because it
00:28:25.620
allows them to adhere to a game plan that they set out for themselves.
00:28:29.800
Most people cannot win, not because they don't have the skills, not because they don't have
00:28:34.440
the brainpower, not because they're not one of the chosen few lucky ones, but because they
00:28:40.400
People are fat, not because they don't know what to do.
00:28:47.520
People are poor, not because they don't know what to do, but because they can't do it for
00:28:57.400
And that one problem, that one skillset will fix fucking almost everything in your life.
00:29:16.580
Go fucking do it and do the whole live hard program, which starts at 75 hard.
00:29:21.480
Then it has phase one, two, and three, and it lasts for a year.
00:29:26.540
It's multiple phases broken up through the year.
00:29:31.160
And if you do that for one year, you will become someone who is so much better than literally
00:29:38.740
everyone else that you fucking know at what I'm talking about, which is the adherence of
00:29:44.540
And being resilient, being gritty, being tough, being confident.
00:29:49.240
It will change everything in your life for one year.
00:29:55.400
The second thing that I would do, the second skillset that I would pour myself into if I
00:30:01.140
were going to become a high earning intrapreneur is sales.
00:30:07.720
And the reason why sales, because sales, people who can sell get paid the most money.
00:30:11.700
It's a special skillset that most people can't do.
00:30:15.240
And even if you're not going to be a professional salesperson, and let's say you're going to be
00:30:20.020
a graphic designer, or let's say you're going to be a videographer, or let's say you're going
00:30:24.460
to help make content, or let's say you're going to do something else in the company.
00:30:31.000
So you must understand the sales process for you to be effective at what you do.
00:30:36.300
And you're probably thinking, well, if I'm a graphic designer, well, why the fuck do I
00:30:40.800
Because dumb ass, uh, your graphic designs are going to contribute to us selling shit.
00:30:46.080
So like, if you can't translate the sales process in your mind to the graphic or the
00:30:50.860
video or the content that you create, you are literally fucking worthless.
00:30:55.380
So learning how to sell massive skillset, the best way to learn how to sell is to go get
00:31:01.720
a retail job, go get a fucking retail job and work the floor of a retail job for six,
00:31:10.620
You could still do other things, make it a part-time job.
00:31:14.440
I learned at least 90% of what I share with you guys working in my retail company,
00:31:22.560
supplement super stores, which I started in 1999 with $12,000.
00:31:28.160
You learn about people, you learn how to communicate with people, you learn how to,
00:31:32.760
You learn how to deal with positive people, negative people, pissed off people.
00:31:35.520
You learn everything you fucking need to know about sales in, in real life, practical
00:31:44.760
Most people don't like retail and that's why most people never learn how to sell properly.
00:31:49.080
Now there's lots of, there's lots of programs on how to sell.
00:31:55.680
There's lots of copywriting programs and courses that teach you how to sell on e-com and all this
00:32:03.160
But the basis of learning how to sell is in person because selling is always person to
00:32:08.960
person, whether you think it is or not, you're getting inside that motherfucker's head and
00:32:14.080
figuring out what it's going to take for them to fucking buy your shit.
00:32:17.140
And that's going to take you standing in front of them and listening to them and hearing what
00:32:20.580
they have to say over and over and over and over and over and over and over until you
00:32:34.620
There's lots of books on this, but again, this is something that you have to practice.
00:32:40.060
And by the way, public speaking is part of that, of how to manage a team.
00:32:44.300
So that's, that's something that's going to be more difficult for you to learn because in the
00:32:49.660
beginning, nobody's going to put you in charge of a team, right?
00:32:52.240
So there's this thing called peer leadership, all right, where you have to take charge and
00:32:57.720
make the team, your team, even though you're not awarded the team.
00:33:09.460
You have to do all the right shit and you have to understand that people will do what
00:33:17.880
And by the way, there's tons, there's tons of books on how to lead a team.
00:33:23.280
One of my favorite books is the five dysfunctions of a team.
00:33:30.280
Everybody wants to be heard, but they want the best decision made for them.
00:33:38.420
And if you don't allow them to be part of the team, you won't have a good team.
00:33:43.660
Step by step by step by telling good stories about it.
00:33:45.940
I'd read it if you want to learn how to manage teams.
00:33:51.580
These guys, they understand how to run fucking teams.
00:33:54.200
Your business guru selling $997 course that you never fucking heard of.
00:33:58.560
Probably the wrong guy to learn about for a fucking team.
00:34:14.760
So we have mental toughness, sales, and the management of a team.
00:34:19.860
Those three things will make you as much or as little of money as you decide to execute on.
00:34:26.060
Those are the three fucking core skills that if you want to win, you must understand.
00:34:42.480
Andy, when speaking of personal excellence and practicing it, if you see a friend, a close friend, or a family member not living up to their best, do you intervene?
00:35:10.100
I got to have uncomfortable conversations almost every single day.
00:35:14.540
There's a lot of days that people leave and they're like, man, fuck him.
00:35:18.700
But eventually, when they calm the fuck down, they realize, bro, I'm trying to fucking win.
00:35:25.700
So, if you're not living to your standard and you're around me and my vicinity, like, this is why most people can't handle me, like, being around me, bro.
00:35:35.500
You know, like, I expect excellence if you're going to be in my circle.
00:35:39.620
And if you don't deliver that, you're not going to be in my circle.
00:35:49.780
And you know why I think people struggle with this?
00:35:53.580
I think people struggle with it because they don't live it themselves.
00:35:57.120
I think most people, most people see other people doing things and it would be easier for them to intervene.
00:36:04.700
And they don't realize, like, you're not even living the shit that you want this person to live.
00:36:09.740
And this goes for bosses or leaders or managers or big brothers or fucking friends or whatever.
00:36:16.120
You know, just because you're a little bit less fat than the other guy doesn't mean you're still not a fucking fat ass, bro.
00:36:21.740
You know, just because you got a little bit more money than that guy doesn't mean you're living at your highest potential.
00:36:25.920
So, the first thing you've got to do if you really want to, if you really care about the people around you is you have to live your high standard.
00:36:37.180
If I didn't live the standard that I live, none of you would listen to me.
00:36:41.720
None of you listening to this show right now would even listen.
00:36:45.940
And your friends and family, they're not going to listen to you unless you're living it.
00:36:53.040
And I intervene because I understand that true kindness and true love is telling people the truth about what's going on.
00:37:00.580
And you have to be willing to, like, ruffle feathers and be disliked for a little bit for that to happen.
00:37:08.020
And sometimes people don't like you and they don't like you forever.
00:37:10.040
But really, that's just a quicker weeding out process.
00:37:12.660
You know, like, there's a lot of people walking around and say, fuck, Andy Fursell is a fucking dick.
00:37:18.780
I just have high standards and you didn't meet him.
00:37:20.660
And now you think I'm a jerk about fucking holding you to a standard.
00:37:23.960
So it's like, was there a realization that you had to come to to understand that, like, you know, not everybody in the world is going to be capable of rowing the boat with you.
00:37:33.260
Some people are just going to be fucking anchors.
00:37:35.920
And I think that's a really good point you bring up, bro.
00:37:38.400
Because I think a lot of times, you know, we want all our friends and all our family and everybody to come with us because it sounds cool.
00:37:47.900
And if you wait around for all the people to come with you, you're never going to get where you want to go yourself because you're always going to be rowing the boat the hardest.
00:37:55.160
And these motherfuckers are going to be rowing at different paces.
00:37:57.140
You're going to go in circles because that's what happens.
00:37:59.340
You got left hand side of the boat rowing at fucking one mile an hour.
00:38:04.920
And it doesn't matter which way I tell the boat to go.
00:38:08.000
OK, so if you if you have your friends in the boat and they're the ones rowing at one and you got your A players over here and they're rowing at three, you still can't get anywhere because the ones are fucking enough for everybody.
00:38:19.980
And so you have to realize that it's not just about your life.
00:38:22.840
It's about the other people who are the A players that are along the ride with you that these people are holding back and you have to be willing to cut them off the roster.
00:38:30.260
And that's just, you know, I know you want the best for those people.
00:38:33.740
I like, bro, I have a lot of people in my life over the years who I really wanted the best for.
00:38:39.680
And at the time, you know, they weren't on the same vibe.
00:38:43.000
And by the way, there was it went the opposite way, too, bro.
00:38:45.400
Remember, I was a fat fucking lazy piece of shit for a long time.
00:38:48.780
There was a lot of people who tried to get me to wake the fuck up that I hated.
00:38:51.960
And then, you know, but I wasn't ready to do it.
00:38:54.540
And so, you know, there's timing involved in all of these things.
00:38:58.540
But I truly believe that we do have a responsibility to hold the people that we care about most to a higher standard after we're holding ourselves to the highest possible standard.
00:39:10.660
So the first step is take care of your own shit.
00:39:13.080
The second step and assess it honestly, dude, like you're like this person saying, you know, oh, I family members.
00:39:21.200
If you see a friend or family member living up.
00:39:25.840
Come in here and take your clothes off and let's have a fucking talk.
00:39:44.220
We'll have a talk about standards and then we'll decide whether or not you actually live in the highest standard possible.
00:39:48.420
That's going to allow those people to also hear what you're trying to say, because here's the thing, bro.
00:39:58.540
If you are not living your highest standard and you're talking to someone about higher standards, how do they believe that it's even possible if you're not even living?
00:40:10.620
So you have to show them before they can believe it.
00:40:14.560
That's why it's important for you to do all the work that you need to do on you so that they can see that you went from the same as them to this new thing.
00:40:22.120
And then when they start recognizing that you went to this greater, higher, better version of yourself, guess what they start thinking?
00:40:33.300
OK, and now you have an opening to actually influence them the proper way.
00:40:39.380
Because I fucking know if Andy fucking did it, bro.
00:40:45.860
So we have to inspire people by our own actions and results.
00:40:49.040
And something I've been saying a lot lately, which is the fucking truth, bro, is no one is going to give a fuck about your words until your actions and your results are undeniable.
00:41:01.480
The words come after the results, not before the results.
00:41:06.280
And if you try to put them before the results, nobody's going to listen.
00:41:13.000
Your words are only relevant if your actions and your results are aligned with the words that you speak.
00:41:22.360
Without the actions and results part, the edifying part of the puzzle, you cannot be credible.
00:41:30.140
This is why so many of you try to make so much content and it never fucking goes.
00:41:34.760
Because you're putting the cart before the motherfucking horse.
00:41:36.720
You're putting the hope for results in front of the actual grind work, right?
00:41:43.800
Like, how many, like, dude, and this is no shade to you guys, okay?
00:41:48.940
But you see these dudes, they're making these podcast sets, right?
00:41:51.800
And they're sitting, they don't even have a real podcast.
00:41:54.040
And they're sitting in front of this thing and they're trying to make this content and they want all these people to listen to them.
00:41:59.620
Except the first thing that people say when they see you talking is, who is this guy?
00:42:05.520
And whatever comes after that is going to decide if they're going to continue to listen or not listen.
00:42:10.580
And too many of you guys are trying to get them to listen without that part of it where it's not going to work out well for you.
00:42:16.560
So you'd be better off just putting your fucking head down, bro.
00:42:25.200
That way people are witnessing your journey, okay?
00:42:28.560
And that way when you do become that higher, greater version, you have a whole bunch of people who are like, fuck, dude.
00:42:36.280
I've been doing this internet shit since 2000 fucking 10.
00:42:40.420
How many people, how many of you guys listen to the show have watched me do this over the last fucking decade plus?
00:42:49.780
So a lot of you guys are trying to do something.
00:42:51.640
And I'm saying this in an empathetic way because I fucking give a fuck about you guys.
00:42:56.240
A lot of you guys are trying to put the fucking cart before the horse.