REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 593. Q&AF Ft. Jon Gordon： High Standards Impacts, Roller Coaster Life & Business & Mentoring Employees

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the real let's say goodbye to the lies

00:00:20.860 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:26.360 have q a f we also have a special guest which i'll intro in just a moment if you'd like to submit

00:00:31.820 some questions for q a f and if you don't know what it is it's very self-explanatory seats you

00:00:36.180 submit the questions and we answer them and you can submit those questions one of a couple different

00:00:40.760 ways first way is yeah guys email those questions into ask andy at andy for selling.com or you can

00:00:47.620 go on youtube on the q a f episodes which drop every single monday today's monday and uh ask

00:00:54.300 your questions in the comments and we'll pick some from there as well now other times when you

00:00:58.180 listen to real af you're going to have different shows we have shows within the show all right

00:01:02.600 today you're going to hear q and af tomorrow you're going to hear cti that stands for cruise the internet

00:01:07.520 that's where we put topics up on the screen we speculate on what we think is true what we think

00:01:11.960 is not true and then we talk about how we the people need to be the solution to the problems

00:01:15.920 going on in the world other times we have real talk real talk is five to 20 minutes and me just

00:01:21.100 giving you some real talk and then uh sometimes we have full length like you guys heard on friday

00:01:26.280 uh full length is just what you are used to seeing on most other podcasts where we have an interesting

00:01:31.560 guest come in and we have a conversation and then other times we have 75 hard verses and 75 hard

00:01:37.960 verses we take someone who uh whose life was a total shit show who did 75 hard and then got their life in

00:01:44.960 order and we bring them on the show we talk about how they were a piece of shit how they're no longer a

00:01:49.760 piece of shit and how you can no longer be a piece of shit and we give it to you for free you can get

00:01:55.180 the program for absolutely nothing all right it's episode 208 on the audio feed if you go listen to

00:02:01.120 it it'll explain what 75 hard is uh it's the world's biggest mental toughness program that's ever been

00:02:06.260 created uh it's for free and if you want to get your shit together go listen to it so with that being

00:02:12.460 said we do have a very special q and a f and i like these q and a f's where we get people to come in

00:02:17.620 and sit on the show with us today i have the legend in the entrepreneurship author success personal

00:02:25.620 development space mr john gordon sitting in with us what's up bro andy great to be with you

00:02:30.700 dude this is awesome it's awesome to have you here man we've been trying to get this together for a

00:02:35.120 long time since june yeah shit i think longer than that i think we've been talking about it for a

00:02:39.780 couple years now on and on oh yeah definitely it's good to have you here great to be here so what's

00:02:43.180 going on man i'm visiting your place it's incredible like just blown away by this place

00:02:49.640 by your customer service your people like how you do everything is unbelievable man you know when

00:02:54.620 you're not very smart you gotta do shit right you know what i'm saying every time yeah that's that's

00:02:59.900 what it comes down to you know people people give us a lot of credit for being intelligent but

00:03:03.680 i think i think the key to ultimately to success in business is doing the things that other people

00:03:08.340 won't do that you know are the right thing and um i don't know any other way to do it you know you

00:03:13.820 do the ordinary things with extraordinary consistency commitment focus and discipline that's what

00:03:18.400 i've noticed like yeah that's what the best do the best are always doing that ordinary stuff but

00:03:22.080 but they're so focused on it and that's what i've noticed like everywhere you go everything's

00:03:25.920 clean yeah everything's put in the right place yeah we don't have a cleaning crew bro

00:03:29.280 like our people clean it wow yeah so so a lot of people ask how we get everybody to do that how to

00:03:34.960 buy into that um you know what i've found and you probably realize this too i mean because you've

00:03:40.980 you've coached everybody bro i mean you give talks and i mean every major college every major

00:03:45.980 professional team in the world you guys that aren't familiar with john gordon he's an absolute legend

00:03:50.500 when it comes to anything personal development um how many books have you written now 28 yeah 28 books

00:03:56.420 i mean this like we're talking like one of the most influential people so for you guys who are young

00:04:01.180 that may not like know who john gordon is you should go check him out and read his books because

00:04:05.380 a big reason of you know why people like me are even doing the things that we do is because of the

00:04:10.560 work that this man has done previously in his life um but you understand that you know teaching people

00:04:19.580 what they're getting out of the process is is is one of the most effective ways to get people to

00:04:24.440 operate at a high level right because we all think about what's in it for us naturally as human beings

00:04:29.980 and when we could teach people you know like people come in here and they look at the sink in

00:04:33.740 the bathroom they're like man it looks like no one's ever used the sink well we wipe the sink out

00:04:37.340 after we use it so it looks that way on purpose but why do we do that well we do that not because

00:04:41.960 we want john gordon to come in and see that the sink is wiped out we do that because we know that every

00:04:46.720 single time that we wipe out the sink we're actually attributing and accumulating more discipline to

00:04:53.100 our own standard right it's making us better same thing with the weights in the weight room a lot of

00:04:57.660 people are like how do you what do you do when people you know what do you do fire people that

00:05:00.960 don't straighten their weights well yeah if they don't do it like three or four times but initially

00:05:05.320 usually people buy into it because they understand that you know that little attention to detail makes

00:05:09.820 them better at what they do and if they're better at what they do they have a better life so i think a

00:05:13.820 big part that a lot of coaches miss with people especially when we're talking about performance

00:05:17.500 is tying it back to how it benefits the individual not just hey you need to do this because this is our

00:05:23.320 standard right most people are selfish in that way well we all are yeah everybody is we all look

00:05:28.780 look dude every single human on the face of the earth that says you know oh i'm a completely selfless

00:05:34.760 human being anybody who says they're completely selfless they're fucking gonna take something from

00:05:38.680 you they're they're your money is gonna go from your pocket to their pocket all right yes so like

00:05:45.040 be real careful because the truth is we we can be selfless and we can understand that to be

00:05:51.100 ultimately selfless we have to be selfish and get ourselves right first this is why you know when

00:05:56.280 the airplane's going down they don't say hey put the mask on everybody else they say put it on

00:06:00.120 yourself yeah um but you know i think it's a balance though right like we've got to we've got

00:06:04.740 to become aware of our own selfishness and then and then work intentionally to be selfless

00:06:08.800 understanding that that's what ultimately creates the life that we want and how you do one

00:06:13.940 thing is how you do everything yeah for sure so you go to clemson football i've worked with them

00:06:18.640 work with the rams right they're focused on all the details your people being focused on the details

00:06:23.520 in the bathroom with the sink also says they're going to do that in their jobs yeah you go to a

00:06:28.500 restaurant that has clean bathrooms okay you probably can figure out the kitchen is probably

00:06:33.120 going to be clean too yeah but you're in a restroom you know that's dirty yeah restaurant yeah you're

00:06:37.820 like okay i may not want to eat here yeah yeah for sure man yeah that's for sure yeah i think john i

00:06:43.060 think so we we were talking about this before the show started but i think we i first met you

00:06:47.020 was out at uh ed's event in was it north carolina yeah i think that's where i first met you oh

00:06:54.280 shit i forgot about that yeah yeah that was right after my shoulder surgery yeah right right

00:06:59.180 after in that right after yeah that was where i brought the axe mm-hmm yeah yeah they were almost

00:07:04.160 they almost didn't let us on the plane with it yeah that's right but i think that's where i

00:07:08.220 first met you it's been awesome good to see you again good to see you yeah this is this is

00:07:14.000 awesome culture yeah i'm a student of culture yeah i teach culture but i'm always looking at

00:07:18.880 culture i work with in and out burger one of my clients i got a great culture you can't make

00:07:23.280 a hamburger unless you work there for a year yeah you have to really there for a year before you can

00:07:27.880 make a hamburger and then you have to be chosen to be a hamburger maker so it's like an honor to say

00:07:32.940 i want you to be a hamburger maker and you're going to apprentice under me it's like it's a big

00:07:38.060 part of your culture right well that makes sense that's the product man you know like it makes

00:07:42.300 sense that you would you would build value around the the the process of making the most important

00:07:48.140 thing right it makes a lot of sense to me it does what you got going on what's new with you man so i

00:07:53.100 just wrote a book called the one truth so i've been speaking about that you know oneness and

00:07:57.260 separateness everything comes down to oneness and separateness are we divided and separate you get weak

00:08:02.220 when you're divided and separate or are we one connected and strong so it's all about that so i've been

00:08:07.180 speaking a ton like going non-stop from place to place doing a lot of events speaking got a number

00:08:14.120 coming up but it's been crazy just the amount of events i've been doing speaking yeah yeah so well

00:08:18.960 that's a that's an appropriate message especially in culture right now yeah dude what do you think

00:08:23.920 of culture right now i think i agree with you 100 by the way oh you do every yeah everything

00:08:30.420 everything that you are well you know i loved there was a time maybe about a year ago when we

00:08:39.000 were we were talking we met we were talking and i said you know during covid i stood up against the

00:08:44.900 mandates i stood up against cancel culture and you know it was a big risk for me and you said no

00:08:50.640 the fact that you believe it was a risk is wrong you believe that it actually has power that's wrong

00:08:57.340 that really stood out to me that made me really think cancel culture only has power if you give

00:09:02.280 it power that's correct and that was a huge lesson for me that you taught me in that moment i'm like

00:09:06.900 no it can't affect you unless you believe it can right so you got to be bold yeah you got to take a

00:09:12.680 stand so i'm huge on principle i'm huge on integrity i'm huge on leading the right way doing the right

00:09:19.940 thing and so what we see now with culture we see a lot of people doing the wrong things we see a lot

00:09:26.440 misinformation we see a lot of lies there's evil and evil will always lie to you and then make you

00:09:33.580 feel like you're the liar yeah and that's what's happening right now so the people are standing for

00:09:37.720 truth or being told that they're the liar no we're not the liars we are speaking truth so yeah i love

00:09:43.620 that you're taking a stand i think more people need to yeah to address what kind of culture do we want

00:09:48.700 to create in this country yeah like we have to get back to what we stand for that's what made

00:09:53.300 america great everyone knew what we stand for and i think today people don't really know what america

00:09:57.860 stands for and you have to get so diluted yeah freedom like we stand for freedom and if you stand

00:10:04.280 for freedom then everything we should do should be about freedom and individual responsibility and

00:10:10.220 your individual rights so when things happen where they try to take away those rights where

00:10:17.260 we more and more see those rights eroded that's a big deal in culture today so so for me i'm i'm big

00:10:23.840 on individual responsibility individual ownership but also leaders doing the right things that is in

00:10:29.660 the best interest of people so i don't see that happening a lot today what do you think on like i agree

00:10:35.720 with you on cancel culture you know cancel culture can only hurt you if you stop that's where it hurts

00:10:41.800 you you know like people come to attack you and then you just stop doing whatever the thing is that

00:10:46.400 you were doing apologize yes dude that's where cancel culture will get you guys if you just show

00:10:51.540 up the next day and start saying the same shit again they're gonna come at you again except the

00:10:55.860 next time they come at you it's less and less and then you show up the next day and then they come at

00:11:00.180 you again it's less and less because bro these people want these people come at people for the

00:11:05.040 reaction they want the apology they want they want the the crying video they want the oh my god i'm so

00:11:12.200 sorry for saying what i actually believe that's what that's what it's for yeah okay so if you never

00:11:17.360 give it to them eventually they go find people that are going to give it to them wait did you call

00:11:20.740 them racist yet that didn't work yeah that doesn't work bro like i can defend my arguments like and i

00:11:27.260 think that's a big part of it too is that a lot of people are so uncomfortable defending their

00:11:31.580 positions because they don't understand their positions that they can't fend off any sort of

00:11:35.980 criticism like i'm aware that not everybody like i don't expect our audience to agree with

00:11:42.280 everything i say when it comes to what's going on in the world but i i am very comfortable standing

00:11:47.920 in front of someone whoever it is and having a conversation about why i believe what i believe

00:11:52.760 and if you make a great point and i say well that's a good point i didn't think about it like

00:11:57.040 this is called being a like a good communicator you know and if you just communicate with the intent of

00:12:03.320 solving the problem versus the intent of being right now you're in a situation where i think

00:12:08.180 conversations can be had and so that's what i'm trying to show people man i'm trying to show people

00:12:12.760 that like hey you can have stances but you can also be open to other ideas and when people come at

00:12:18.160 you that's okay that's the way the world is right now um but if you if you stop that's where it hurts

00:12:23.200 you and i think a lot of people uh you know they they think that like oh my god they came for me and

00:12:28.680 they ruined my life no you ruined your life because you stopped doing whatever it was that you were

00:12:32.620 trying to do and the reason why they're afraid yeah so you asked me about culture what do i see

00:12:37.560 i see fear yeah people are really struggling with fear anxiety chronic worry chronic stress and we're

00:12:44.960 not meant to go through life that way living that way and you can see how people feel more and more

00:12:49.740 separate when it comes to that you know the root for the greek word of anxious means to separate and

00:12:55.040 divide and so when you feel anxious you feel separate and divided so these people feel divided they feel

00:13:00.940 anxious so fear is taking over their life we have to get them back to that wholeness yeah that healing

00:13:07.020 that oneness that power like discover the power that you have like when you look at the world if

00:13:11.860 you believe that the world has power over you that actually lowers your state of mind and you actually

00:13:17.780 approach this world in a very timid weak way when you realize that you have the power to change your

00:13:22.560 circumstance to define reality to create the future then that uplifts your state of mind and allows you to

00:13:29.700 actually approach this world in a much more powerful way i think i think you know most people

00:13:35.900 out here and you travel the world bro you're all over the place i mean when i go when i go in public

00:13:43.480 which is rare i really don't go in public that much but when i do i don't see this division in real

00:13:49.780 life no like i don't feel it in real life like when i go when i do go out to an event or or see people

00:13:56.260 or uh you know even go to a sporting event occasionally or whatever like this shit doesn't

00:14:01.640 exist in reality it only exists on this phone and it's continuing to be stirred and stirred and stirred

00:14:07.360 so that everybody can be at high levels of emotion and then react to whatever the the distraction might

00:14:13.060 be and it's very clear to me the manipulations going on but man like dj and i we talk about this

00:14:19.540 all the time dude like when or when do you think people are going to wake up to like oh shit i'm being

00:14:24.720 made to feel this way intentionally like when is that going to happen because that's what's going

00:14:28.860 to be required for us to really get things back on track to even have a conversation of what america

00:14:34.300 stands for you know if we're consistently reacting to every single crisis that happens and these crises

00:14:40.160 are happening every three or four fucking days now okay we just had uh you know we have the

00:14:46.280 middle east situation now we have this shooter situation but like has anybody else noticed that since

00:14:51.600 2020 the amount of crises has increased tremendously at at the rate of speed yeah the lag has yes bro

00:15:00.160 this wasn't like this pre-2020 like we didn't have a situation where you know some major single three

00:15:07.000 days we had this national division uh divisive crisis on the internet and like dude a lot of it comes from

00:15:15.300 like and i you know look i'm gonna call how i see it but a lot of it comes from you know not just the

00:15:21.040 progressive left a lot of it comes from the conservative influencers too because they're

00:15:25.900 selling fucking shit on the views and the like that's their whole purpose right they don't have

00:15:30.600 a business they don't have a career they weren't relevant before 2020 and now they see it as their

00:15:36.260 uh way to you know monetize themselves and so they sensationalize the propaganda

00:15:41.960 think look under the under the pretext that they actually care and like people have to start getting

00:15:47.660 real like these people who look at every single headline that comes down the pipe and say holy

00:15:52.640 shit look what's happening oh my god and then they fucking tell you buy my shit right these people are

00:15:59.480 doing they're these people are just manipulating you in a different way they're they're getting you all

00:16:04.220 hyped around uh something that you care about and then trying to monetize it when in reality bro

00:16:10.020 the the the manipulation mechanism is the same emotional manipulation stirred high emotion

00:16:16.280 and then a call to action and and i i can recognize this because i'm a fucking business guy

00:16:21.680 right but like most people can't see this shit and dude when i see like what's going on in the world

00:16:26.940 man it's just a massive marketing campaign geared towards us but the marketing that they're selling us

00:16:31.820 is misery and anxious and depression and and financial hardship and you know being unhealthy and

00:16:37.920 i don't know man like i i'm i think the internet like real talk like i think the internet is a net

00:16:45.020 negative for humanity i think the world was better before the internet completely better and i think

00:16:49.580 there's been a lot of good things i think you know there's money to be made there's connections to be

00:16:54.280 made there's some good things i'm not saying there aren't some good things but i would say and i would

00:16:59.860 be curious what your opinion is on this as somebody who's lived pre and post internet era i

00:17:06.860 100 would give away everything i fucking have everything i own everything to go back to that

00:17:14.540 life before the internet every bit of recognition i've gotten from it every success everything it was

00:17:19.940 a better life that's my opinion because what's the cost bro you don't even know what it's like

00:17:24.280 yeah well i do a lot because i mean i was poor no you know we couldn't afford the internet

00:17:28.900 you don't know it was totally different people were different it was a different thing like this

00:17:35.920 whole thing where people go on the internet and just berate people and and that never happened in

00:17:41.260 the real world dude like these kids growing up in high school right now where they're getting called

00:17:45.340 out on the internet and bullied on the internet for being different or weird or whatever that shit

00:17:50.160 like dude when i was in high school that sucked right like you you you had to walk through school

00:17:55.000 and you know there was people chirping and talking to shit now the shit's all over the internet bro

00:18:00.240 like everybody sees it your parents see it their parents see it the whole school teachers see it

00:18:05.000 like really think about this what that does to people like growing up is hard enough man you know

00:18:11.140 when was the last time you went somewhere and had a real conversation with someone that actually

00:18:15.620 meant something and made you feel good about people you know like i just i don't know and i know

00:18:21.340 it's never going to go backwards but it just it's like i'm mourning for it because i'm like mourning

00:18:25.240 the way of life before the technology and like i don't know part of me wants to like i i really

00:18:30.940 think i will get to this point where i completely unplug everything and disappear from the fucking

00:18:35.100 internet what's your take on it the media is the bible of the fearful and too many worship it

00:18:41.240 yeah and that's a problem the thing is social media just magnifies and it reinforces the separation

00:18:47.840 and the division that's there like there's always been a little division and there's always been

00:18:52.960 comparison there's always been jealousy like when you're a kid growing up and your neighbor got a

00:18:57.120 new car you were jealous of the neighbor that got that new car or the kid who was the cool kid in

00:19:01.960 school got the new outfit you know the new clothes and there was jealousy now there's a thousand cool

00:19:06.960 kids online and you're seeing it every single day so the jealousy was there the division was there

00:19:12.420 the bullying was there it was just in person i fought in my neighborhood all the time yeah like

00:19:18.060 once you're better for it oh yeah it made me stronger i was beat up for a while then eventually

00:19:22.940 you started doing a game and then and i was able to beat up my neighbor and never beat me up again

00:19:26.680 yeah but i dealt with it my dad was a new york city police officer yeah you know undercover

00:19:30.620 narcotics so in our neighborhood like we we battled we fought yeah so those were challenging times

00:19:35.560 like that's not happening today in that way now it's online now it's bullying now it's uh rumors

00:19:40.940 and gossip and all this other stuff but with social media like we often blame social media but

00:19:46.180 it's really not social media and i actually wrote about this in the one truth it's the fact that

00:19:50.880 we're looking outside instead of inside and there's an evil there's a force always trying to make you to

00:19:57.780 look outside instead of inside to look at your circumstances to look at others to look at the

00:20:02.700 opinions of others and to actually look and think that that has power over you just like cancel culture

00:20:08.000 so the key is you should be able to look at social media because there are times you probably look at it

00:20:12.200 and you're in a great high state of mind you're feeling great you're positive and it has no effect

00:20:16.620 on you whatsoever you're like yeah this is a bunch of crap move up move forward yeah and other days

00:20:20.120 when you're in a low state of mind not feeling so great stuff's coming your way you got a lot of clutter

00:20:25.000 you're looking at that social media and it really bothers you what you see yeah and so the key is to

00:20:29.900 recognize that and we have to teach kids this because kids are always looking yeah outside it's why so many of

00:20:35.000 them are stressed and anxious because they're not living their life from their purpose their passion

00:20:40.160 what they're meant to do they're looking at everyone else and their life and then they feel

00:20:44.260 inadequate and the more they feel inadequate they then retreat from life and they don't have the

00:20:50.140 boldness and the faith to actually take on life so this is i think that's a great point what you're

00:20:54.740 teaching and what i'm teaching i think is the same thing like you have the power to take on this life

00:20:59.000 yeah you're not meant to go through life fearful anxious and stressed you're meant to go through life

00:21:02.840 with power and peace and joy and confidence and courage and this is how you need to go through

00:21:08.020 life so we got to share with kids the truth that this media crap has no power over you and i think

00:21:13.620 that's where we have to get to like where people recognize like this media is a bunch of liars and

00:21:18.960 when the media lies democracy dies when the media lies it affects everyone and when we look at we look

00:21:24.600 at social media i actually think it's a good thing because if we just had the media and not social media

00:21:29.040 we would never have the dissenting voices yeah think about it would be literally like

00:21:33.220 propaganda russian tv which we have now but at least we have the voices to counter it right now

00:21:38.260 so so i agree with that point but here so that that brings up the argument of is ignorance bliss

00:21:44.480 right right because we yes because we have all woken up to the amount of propaganda yeah because the

00:21:50.920 propaganda has become stronger because there has been dissenting voices so when when before you know the

00:21:58.060 internet was really a thing the they kind of let us live our lives in peace right and yes you know

00:22:04.520 they they did all this dirty shit but we didn't get it pushed down our throats all the time we were

00:22:09.080 allowed to like function in society properly and since the internet's come along it has created

00:22:16.520 dissenting voices which has forced them to create new techniques to control those dissenting voices which

00:22:22.180 we end up with a situation where you know now i mean you know it's kind of the discussion of like

00:22:29.080 is it better to know or is it better to not know i'm happier when i don't know yeah that's a fact i'm

00:22:34.660 happier when i didn't know what was happening because when you're at a family gathering and you're talking

00:22:38.700 about this yeah for those who don't know they're just happy going about their life they have no

00:22:42.380 yeah understanding or realization that their rights are being taken away yeah they have no understanding

00:22:47.500 they're being lied to they don't see what can come into the future though they haven't studied history

00:22:52.560 they're not looking at other countries like we do we know what can come here and i'm very concerned

00:22:58.500 what can and may come here if we don't take a stand that's right i agree with you 100 on that and i think

00:23:04.840 most people are waking up to that fact though a lot of people some are still in denial some some don't

00:23:09.960 see it but you're right ignorance is bliss because i was a lot happier when i didn't know but it's about finding

00:23:16.000 the joy with the courage to take it on and say you know what i do know this is evil but how do we

00:23:23.620 beat evil always with truth yeah and with good yeah see i don't have i don't have any joy in it you

00:23:29.880 know what i mean like for me this is total obligation i people have people have a hard time understanding

00:23:37.640 that the reason i do real af the way i do it specifically the cti stuff is not because i like

00:23:44.120 doing it it's not because it's fun it's because no one else has the fucking balls to do it okay and

00:23:50.060 also i recognize that you know my boss can't really fire me right like you guys who have bosses and you

00:23:57.600 got to keep quiet i'm speaking for those people and it's it's very fucking it's a very large burden

00:24:06.000 dude like it's it's very burnt it's very tiresome it wears you out it's emotionally draining and

00:24:13.200 so i often find myself in this situation where i'm asking myself is it worth doing

00:24:18.880 and it goes into the discussion that we're having right now like is it better to be ignorant and live

00:24:26.140 in the dark and let these people just do what they do as long as we get to live somewhat peacefully

00:24:30.220 or is it better or is our time and our our historical relevance okay this is going to sound

00:24:39.440 probably arrogant and egotistical but like i oftentimes think like fuck bro this is what you

00:24:44.620 were meant to do you know you were meant to fight these fucking people and beat their asses and get

00:24:49.940 everybody straight on what's going on in society and you know i i have a lot of things that would make

00:24:55.800 me to say why that's happened to me you know when i look back over the course of my life and i think

00:24:59.940 about you know me getting stabbed and what i learned through that and then my business journey and then

00:25:05.180 like you know just weird things that have happened like i ended up living at a former president's

00:25:09.600 property you know shit like that right i don't i can't have kids you know like there's all these

00:25:15.460 things and like people say well how's that play into it well like you know um if i had kids i

00:25:21.260 probably wouldn't have the courage to do what i do you know what i'm saying so it's uh it's this

00:25:27.120 constant battle of like is this why the fuck i'm here or should i just go live my life and let these

00:25:33.780 fucking idiots sort it the fuck out like it's just a hard it's just because you can take the easy

00:25:39.500 route if you really want to and not deal with any of this dude this is the thing i don't know if you

00:25:43.360 saw i did a day in the life episode on youtube where i showed my life because i come on here all

00:25:48.100 the time and i'm like guys i don't think you understand like i don't have to do this you know

00:25:52.420 what i'm saying and ever since the day in the life episode which has been a week and a day i've

00:25:57.360 gotten thousands of messages from people like holy shit you really don't have to do this i'm like yeah

00:26:02.060 i've been trying to say that guys like i care about this shit i care about you i care about your fucking

00:26:06.680 family and all i ask is very simply that you share the message or speak up or stand with me you know

00:26:11.960 and it's just like for three and a half years man we've been getting beat by these by these

00:26:17.420 manipulation techniques in the media and these these criminals and it's like fuck i'm just waiting

00:26:23.620 for everybody to like get so tired of it and stand the fuck up man like we could beat these people

00:26:28.380 very simply without violence by just standing together and saying hey no but we have so many

00:26:34.100 of these little people inside the movement who are willing to like capitalize on it for their own

00:26:40.220 self-gain as opposed to like working towards a real solution then nothing ever gets solved because

00:26:44.740 we're always infighting it's like look at look at the situation between trump and de santis right

00:26:49.560 trump and de santis the people the people who like de santis hate the people who like trump and vice

00:26:56.000 versa they hate him and dude up until de santis decided he was going to run for president there was

00:27:01.640 not that division everybody was like trump and de santis and now you have this part of the of the

00:27:07.280 community like legitimately eating each other up and like guys for what like do you not understand

00:27:13.000 like if you don't understand that whoever wins that primary you need to vote for to get us out

00:27:18.200 of this mess so you're telling me you hate the other guy so much you're going to vote for fucking

00:27:23.060 this guy you see what i'm saying like we have to have some more common sense thinking and conversations

00:27:28.600 and and and by the way i'm apolitical i'm voting for the better out possible outcome i don't give a

00:27:36.200 shit about trump or de santis i care about fucking us i don't know man i think i think a lot of things

00:27:42.380 it's just you know it's interesting as i was walking around your place and going on the tour

00:27:46.320 that actually came to me that thought came to me like andy's built this he's had the skill the ability

00:27:54.580 the persona the boldness the faith the confidence the courage like everything you have i said

00:28:01.400 he's been brought to this moment to be a voice for our future like i had that thought as i was

00:28:08.440 walking around you just said that which is really cool like i have no doubt that god will choose

00:28:13.740 people along the way that will fight for freedom and individual responsibility because there will

00:28:18.820 always be a force trying to oppress you want to hear something crazy dude so when i pray at night

00:28:24.060 always through when i was a kid i always told god i said if you if you help me i promise i'll help other

00:28:30.140 people and what i think is happening now is like i'm having to repay that debt now is your time to

00:28:34.880 help people that was my prayer too god god provide for my family and i will do your work yeah and for

00:28:41.600 me that was like impacting people positivity helping people i thought that's what it was for me too

00:28:46.920 i thought it was like hey i'll just share what i know and help you guys win and all this stuff and

00:28:51.940 now it's become this whole other thing but who can do what you do that's the thing like i had a

00:28:56.860 a lot of people could no but nba coach had a star player come to the nba coach and constantly

00:29:02.800 complain about the other members of the team they're not this they're not that they're not

00:29:07.300 this and the coach said if they were that they'd be you and that's why you stand out and that's why

00:29:13.300 you're a superstar and so we wish other people would do it but not everyone can i believe they

00:29:19.680 can all be bold be courageous but they also can't do what you do in the way that you do it i can't do

00:29:25.520 it the way you do it i'm a fighter but not the way you're a fighter so it's it's different but

00:29:31.620 i've also made the stand and i my wife and i've talked about this like as the future comes depending

00:29:37.220 on what happens in the future like we will take a stand yeah like we will take a stand for others

00:29:42.060 it may mean we lose everything but we will take a stand for the future of this country we do have

00:29:47.480 kids but for their future and they like my son loves your stuff like they they think that way like

00:29:53.660 we know that we're in a fight for the future of this country and also for the moral fabric of this

00:29:59.240 country yeah and what we need to create going forward together so so but it could be done

00:30:04.320 again i'm all about positivity like positivity doesn't mean weak positivity actually is strong

00:30:11.060 because you believe the best is yet to come you're going to take the actions necessary to create the

00:30:15.420 best outcome and you can be positive and fierce so like i feel like i'm positive but i'm competitive

00:30:20.720 i'm fierce yeah so i believe this is the way it should be so let's make it so so sometimes when

00:30:28.080 you get down it reminds me of a like some of the coaches i work with at the top level he's like

00:30:31.980 these guys allow the burden of the jobs yeah to bring them down but what i remind them of is that

00:30:37.380 love casts out fear so anytime you start to get fear or down you're allowing the weight of everything

00:30:42.580 to take hold that's actually what the enemy's trying to do to keep you from your destiny and keep you

00:30:47.340 from being courageous to say i'll just give up yeah you know screw it i'll just give up right

00:30:51.100 every day right but no but but when you when you love the battle and you love the competition

00:30:56.020 and you love the ability to to take on this challenge just every time you start to like

00:31:01.440 get frustrated just remember i'm gonna love this battle and love that i get to do this dude it's

00:31:05.960 such that's gonna take that's gonna get you to a higher state that's so sick dude because i cannot

00:31:10.480 quit right like i can't quit anything like it's it's so good in some areas and in some areas it makes my

00:31:16.780 life fucking torture bro like i i feel what you're saying man and i i take it to heart you know i

00:31:23.700 appreciate you sharing that because that's helpful for me to think about it's helpful for me to know

00:31:27.780 that that other people feel that way you know what i mean big time so anyway you know how the show

00:31:33.140 works brother so we get questions from the audience and then uh we try to answer them so um

00:31:39.340 you want to know a secret what yeah i got some good ones for you all right he always does let's get

00:31:45.640 into it man guys andy john question i appreciate that bro like that talk and i'm glad i'm glad i'm

00:31:51.040 actually glad we had it on the show for people to hear yeah i'd be glad to do yeah that's real shit

00:31:54.760 man yeah thank you yeah well john 80 question number one uh recently i was told that i am not

00:32:03.700 spontaneous enough and that i require a rigid timeline for myself which impacts others as i

00:32:10.600 self-reflected i suppose that's an accurate assessment i have raised my four children i've

00:32:16.040 been a teacher for 17 years so to say i function well with strictness and time management is an

00:32:21.160 understatement my question is how do i know if what i thought was a strength may actually be a

00:32:28.940 weakness how can i distinguish between having high standards for myself versus being too rigid for

00:32:34.760 those around me that's what i've got on this is it keeping you from what matters most to you

00:32:41.860 and what will make you be your best so if it's keeping you from that if you're being rigid if

00:32:47.140 you're not making time for relationships because you're focusing on your routine more than your

00:32:51.240 relationships then you're probably being too rigid but if it's helping you get better helping you

00:32:56.520 improve if it gives you the freedom to actually do what you love and also to be your best then

00:33:03.020 that routine and that rigidness is actually a good thing i have found on my journey though

00:33:09.060 i've allowed the routine the schedule to get in the way of what matters most and so at times i can

00:33:15.580 allow that to get the best of me and i don't bring out the best in me for others yeah so that's how you

00:33:21.540 would know but would you i mean would you say that there's like a period though like like you know

00:33:26.620 because i think like the conversation of balance right like that's a big one especially for younger

00:33:30.780 people but like would you say though that there is a phase of your life that you have to go through

00:33:35.440 where there is not going to be this you know quote unquote balance that you're going to expect to have

00:33:40.460 like there's going to be working years in your life where hey like listen some things that do matter

00:33:44.600 on the grand scheme of things they can't really matter right now in this moment or in this phase of

00:33:49.180 your life yeah i don't i don't believe in balance in life i believe in rhythm like you'll never find

00:33:55.100 balance anybody who's pursuing greatness or a company like this and building something amazing

00:34:00.180 will not have balance in their life there's a season for everything so the key is to find the

00:34:05.520 rhythm in your life of the seasons so like my family we find our rhythm where july and december

00:34:11.460 things slow down and that's when we find time to really spend together but i'm not having balance in

00:34:16.760 the course of my day i haven't seen my wife in about seven days you you you and ad both do that so

00:34:22.380 well you both you guys are great friends by the way yeah great friends people if people didn't know

00:34:26.540 ed and john are great friends and um i'm talking about am i let uh you guys do that so well and i

00:34:34.680 admire that about both of you i i i feel like when it comes to the balance thing i think it depends on

00:34:40.600 when you ask someone what they will say uh what answer they will give like if you asked me my first

00:34:46.740 10 years of business if there was balance i would laugh in your fucking face i would be like bro

00:34:51.800 you're insane and honestly if you ask me that right now because we're in a position where we're

00:34:55.940 leveling from a mid-sized company into a you know a small large company um i would laugh in your face

00:35:03.060 so i think it's important for people to recognize that if you're in the beginning of the journey

00:35:09.760 and you're talking about balance bro you're not going to make it it's impossible it takes too much to

00:35:15.400 get something started what if you're starting something and by the way this could be your career

00:35:20.040 it could be your your 200 pounds overweight it could be a business it could be an organization

00:35:26.560 it could be a charity it doesn't matter if it's new balance is gone if you want to be competitive

00:35:31.780 real talk okay you're going to have to put that time in you're going to have to put the reps in

00:35:36.100 you're going to have to put in the struggle that is a requirement now if you ask let's say uh you know

00:35:43.240 let's just take a famous athlete right like uh if you asked kobe ryan kobe ryan okay well kobe ryan's

00:35:51.460 a bad example because he never got to live his other part of his life now that's actually a good

00:35:55.560 example because how i look at balance is over the course of a life right like how i break down balance

00:36:02.600 and how i break down my life is so different than what like most people think of when they think of

00:36:08.540 it i think of life in 20 year chunks and then i think of inside those 20 year chunks i think three

00:36:15.260 to four year um like spurts and then inside the three or four years i think of one year as four

00:36:23.000 quarters of a game okay and and i i use live hard my live hard program to operate to produce the most

00:36:30.540 during that one year so when i break down how i frame out how i look at life it's i don't think

00:36:37.660 people look at it like that i think most people kind of like look at their balance as a a day right

00:36:42.920 super micro yeah like do i do i did i spend enough time with my kids today or did i did i get some time

00:36:49.740 for me today and dude you're gonna go years without that time i mean that's just reality if you're trying

00:36:55.580 to build something great so when we think about balance i found a more realistic way to look at

00:37:03.440 balance is over the course of life where you're going to have seasons where you're going to have

00:37:08.000 to go all in and it's not for a week and it's not for a month bro it's for years this is real shit like

00:37:13.680 if you want to be anything it's for years that creates some financial freedom you get a little

00:37:19.800 bit more uh you get a little bit more freedom and you get a little bit more balance and then there

00:37:25.000 might become a time where you have to go again and you know then it's all in again right and so

00:37:30.800 when we look at balance especially from a beginner standpoint i think it's a very very very bad thing

00:37:39.160 to to to expect that you're going to have it at all it's not reality and and we see all these

00:37:45.100 people on the internet saying that that's what they're after well if that's what you're after

00:37:49.680 and you're trying to be great at something that's a no-win situation it just is so you know i think it's

00:37:56.300 i just think it's important to have the proper expectations yeah you know if you want to be a

00:38:00.920 a regular person a regular joe and earn a regular income and by the way i'm not judging i'm this show

00:38:06.820 is predicated on people that want to be great at things if that's what you want to do then balance

00:38:11.900 is probably achievable on a daily basis that's something that you could probably do um but for the

00:38:18.000 rest of you guys you trying to hit that when it's not reality is only going to make you feel bad

00:38:23.540 about yourself it's only going to make you have less confidence you're going to feel like shit

00:38:27.260 you're going to feel extra guilty because you're not giving yourself to these other people that

00:38:32.320 probably would like to have it and and to have the success that you want to create it takes times of

00:38:38.280 of of actual selfishness where like i am this is what i'm doing and this is my priority and this is

00:38:44.300 what i'm going to go after and everything else kind of like is what it is and those are the sacrifices

00:38:51.200 that it takes to get to get i mean dude like we're in a competition this is what people fail

00:38:56.360 to realize about like this is a fucking competition like there's all this shit on the internet about

00:39:00.840 oh my god i'm competing against me yes that's true that is true you are your biggest competitor

00:39:06.280 however inside right behind right yeah right outside that competition is a real competition where

00:39:12.940 you're competing against real human beings who are trying to do the same things that you're trying

00:39:16.600 to do all right and there's only so much room for the winners so this idea that there's a endless

00:39:22.120 abundance and and endless winning and endless being the best is not actually true okay now is there

00:39:30.740 abundance yes but you have to compete very hard to have it and these are just things that like 25 years

00:39:37.400 ago dude were common sense like this was common sense bro like i was taught this growing up and like

00:39:42.940 i say this to young kids that are 20 years old they're like what do you mean what do you mean

00:39:46.900 not everybody can win i'm like bro how many super bowl winners are there a year there's one how many

00:39:52.940 mvps on that team of the super bowl there's one how many mvps of the league there's one sports it's so

00:40:00.500 bizarre to me that society has gotten so off track in all these other areas of life in terms of

00:40:08.800 understanding reality of how they work but yet every sunday they will watch the nfl and then they

00:40:15.540 get this mirror image of how life really works which means the people who put in the most work

00:40:20.720 who work the hardest who become the best get the biggest fucking paychecks and are the champions

00:40:26.060 they're watching this exact metaphor for how life actually works every sunday and then turning around

00:40:33.300 and pretending like it's not how that works balance yeah dude like how many of these nfl guys

00:40:38.860 that are how many of these guys are balanced bro these are young men who are literal warriors bro

00:40:45.580 they're putting on armor every sunday and going out and trying to kill each other these dudes are not

00:40:50.660 balanced bro these guys are coming out saying everything i do everything i eat everything i train

00:40:56.400 everything i read every single thing in my life is geared towards this battle that i'm trying to win

00:41:03.440 and that's your life dude and that's what people can't understand they want to believe it's like this

00:41:08.400 fluffy nice thing and the internet you know when i say what i just said they get so pissed off and it's like

00:41:15.160 okay well show me you guys that get pissed off show me what the fuck you've achieved show me

00:41:21.460 because i know i'm right i've seen it a thousand times this man coaches some of the best coaches in

00:41:27.260 the world some of the biggest fucking names in the world dude am i right yes okay like this is how it

00:41:34.240 works man like there's no other recipe to it's it's called natural order it's the reality man it's

00:41:41.100 this is why big lions who who are at the top of the pride eventually get eaten by the younger lions

00:41:49.040 this is how it works there's nothing you can do bro you get old you can't do the shit no more

00:41:54.240 and they kill you that's the cycle of life man the only goal that you can do is to be the baddest

00:41:59.520 motherfucker for as long as you can be until someone takes you out that's what the game is

00:42:03.400 yeah i don't know i don't know and then when you're successful you take care of those who can't

00:42:07.500 take care of themselves and you and you help the old lion you don't kill them listen dude what you

00:42:12.360 try to do you build a sanctuary well that's why the goal if you're in business is to become so big

00:42:18.360 that it insulates you from that you know otherwise they will take your shit you know so that's why

00:42:23.340 rhythm is so important not balance because what andy's saying is so true because if you see that

00:42:28.640 and you try to achieve balance and you're not you're now feeling guilt and shame and i meet a lot

00:42:34.200 of women out there who work in the working world and they have this guilt and shame because they

00:42:38.020 have kids and they're not doing enough at home then they're not doing enough at work and so they

00:42:43.000 have a double dose of guilt which is a double dose of misery bro i get your life when you live that way

00:42:47.720 right i get it too because i can i watch all these people on the internet who aren't me who aren't doing

00:42:53.060 what i do talk about how balanced they are and how perfect they are and then i look over and you know

00:42:58.880 here's me and emily and everybody i care about like paddling the boat as hard as fuck i'm like holy

00:43:03.920 shit bro i'm a fucking tyrant like like you know what i'm saying like but but then i got to remember

00:43:10.060 we're on a different path than those people are on and we and you can't feel guilty for choosing the

00:43:15.920 path that you're on and trying to be the best at it it's what you're focused on what your mission is

00:43:20.620 what you're here to do i asked my daughter my daughter's 25 now did i travel too much because i

00:43:25.320 was gone a lot when my kids were young speaking all over building the business building my name

00:43:30.180 you know what she said dad i don't remember you gone i remember when you were home because when

00:43:35.940 you were home you were so engaged with me and with with cole my son you were engaged you were

00:43:41.540 present and i would go to her lacrosse tournaments again july december november slow times but that's

00:43:48.960 what they remember so i want people listening to know everything andy's saying is true you're gonna

00:43:53.580 you're gonna you're gonna bust your ass to be successful but at the same time rhythm might be

00:43:58.040 i work six days and i have that one day that i engage with the family and take that time for them

00:44:03.920 it might mean i work two weeks straight and then i have that day it might mean a month where you know

00:44:09.480 what hey family i'm building this right now we got a product launch i'm not going to be around but

00:44:14.380 after this month after the launch let's make time to do this this and this and then you do that

00:44:19.380 that's how you can actually make it work for you but the greatest of the greats they call it a dark

00:44:25.360 side of success because it'd be truly great you have to sacrifice and there has to be a cost that

00:44:31.500 you're willing to pay to actually be great at what you're doing i mean i was writing every morning when

00:44:37.560 i was writing my 28 books and i still write that's a morning cost every morning to write that i'm not

00:44:43.540 spending with my family and i'm writing but my kids saw that and now they have a different spin a

00:44:49.160 different understanding than other kids who grew up in a different way it's not really a sacrifice

00:44:53.580 either though dude because you get something out the other end right that's what people forget it's

00:44:58.100 not immediately yeah like dude yes some things are going to have to not be done or you're not going

00:45:04.840 to be at the thing or whatever it is but there is something that comes out the other side and you

00:45:09.360 have to remember that that's coming and that's going to happen if you continue and like dude the guilt

00:45:15.740 thing is a big deal for me because i i get caught up in that sometimes right the internet has become

00:45:20.440 so touchy-feely and cultures become so touchy-feely that even like somebody like me can get like in my

00:45:26.640 feels a little too much and start feeling guilty but every time i do i remind myself dude i'm on a

00:45:33.440 different path i am on a different path i'm on a different path and that person that asked that

00:45:38.580 question you're on a different path so don't feel guilty for that what just because you got some

00:45:43.640 friend or some friends saying you need more balance look bro real talk and this is this is

00:45:49.520 going to hurt some feelings but every motherfucker i've ever known in my entire life told me i needed

00:45:53.500 more balance and half of those motherfuckers asked me for jobs okay so real talk okay so there's good

00:46:01.460 things that come of being on your own path and being committed to it and just because you're not

00:46:05.540 you know sitting on the internet with your you know meditating and touching the grass for seven hours a

00:46:12.340 day and drinking fucking you know kombucha yeah right like and not showering like just because

00:46:18.920 you're like actually being a productive human being is not something that you should feel guilty about

00:46:23.220 you know that's real shit man i love it man guys giant question number two all right guys i quit my

00:46:30.280 job in april and i started my own landscaping company and things are going great with that being

00:46:35.540 said i keep having days where i feel like i'm on top of the world and then the next day i feel like a

00:46:41.480 total fucking failure i understand that it might take years before i can say that i am uh getting

00:46:47.700 it going but my question is at what point do things start to level off and how do i get myself to that

00:46:54.720 point quicker no man i'm the wrong person to answer that question bro you know i'd be lying if i fucking

00:47:01.920 sat here and dj knows these guys here know too if i were to sit here and answer this question and say

00:47:08.460 oh yeah it's right here at this time this is when you figure it out and everything works out great

00:47:12.380 and you know i never had that problem like bro i'd be lying to your fucking face like there are days

00:47:19.740 where i feel like i could fucking legit run into the white house and impale these motherfuckers and

00:47:25.860 conquer the world bro and then there are days where i like have to scrape myself out of bed like that

00:47:31.880 and those days usually are back to back i don't know maybe we're bipolar bro i don't know but i

00:47:38.520 haven't solved the puzzle to that yet that hasn't i have not entered that season of figuring that out

00:47:43.620 about me i i am very hot and cold i am very streaky here's what i figured out the way i've been able to

00:47:51.380 manage that about myself is to be committed to a structure where i know i'm building momentum

00:47:57.360 momentum even if i don't feel like i'm building momentum this is why i love the live hard program

00:48:01.420 so much because even on those days that i wake up and i feel like i've had to scrape myself out of bed

00:48:06.560 and i start to have that negative self-talk where i'm like fuck dude you're you know you're a piece of

00:48:11.000 shit which i got something to say about that too but even on those days i can look back and be like

00:48:16.200 what are you talking about dude for the last 68 days you were fucking literally perfect like nobody's

00:48:21.320 doing that so like that having like actual evidence to back up what i'm what i've been doing and taking

00:48:28.940 action in my life when i feel those low days really helps a lot that's a big thing for me it's also

00:48:34.380 important to know that there's an ebb and flow to thought so there'll be days that you feel very

00:48:39.140 positive and there'll be days you feel negative i call it high state of mind and low state of mind

00:48:44.260 and so a high state of mind is characterized by a lot of clarity a lot of focus a lot of positivity

00:48:49.500 a low state of mind a lot of clutter a lot of anxiety a lot of stress a lot of worry one day

00:48:55.240 you're in traffic and it bothers you the next day you're in the same traffic and it doesn't

00:49:00.040 is it the traffic that's making you feel a certain way yes no

00:49:02.760 it can't be this morning actually yeah no if it's the if you think it's the traffic then the traffic

00:49:11.980 would make you feel the same way all the time yeah during the pandemic some people struggled during

00:49:15.660 the pandemic other people thrived people blame the pandemic it wasn't the pandemic it's our state

00:49:21.040 of mind when your state of mind is high the circumstance happens and you rise above you move

00:49:25.160 forward when your state of mind is low same circumstance happens and it really bothers you

00:49:29.700 it affects you in sports you make a bad play low state of mind you're thinking oh man what'd i do

00:49:35.380 revved up thinking and then now you think something's wrong something's broken and now you're trying

00:49:39.280 to fix it high state of mind you make a bad play like let's go next play so it's all our state of

00:49:44.200 mind and i would say you have these highs and lows states of mind yeah which defines how we respond to

00:49:48.900 the situations so the key is for that person is stay the course that's a part of growing a business

00:49:54.000 there are so many days you feel like you're not building anything and even now when you have success

00:49:58.560 you still feel like you're not doing enough you still feel like you could do more the best always

00:50:04.920 realize that they've never arrived at the door of greatness like like no i've never arrived i gotta

00:50:09.400 keep going if the minute you think you've arrived it gets slammed in your face yeah and so that high

00:50:13.440 state of mind is so helpful for people because the key is to realize you're on a roller coaster

00:50:17.120 and when you feel like the roller coaster is going down what happens is you want to jump off the

00:50:21.480 roller coaster you want to give up don't jump off don't escape too many people escape they do drugs

00:50:26.600 they drink they play video games why they're trying to avoid the low state of mind that they have this

00:50:32.040 feeling they have that's a discomfort a lot of discomfort so what you do is you stay on the

00:50:36.480 roller coaster and then what happens is you ride it back up and you're going to have this

00:50:40.020 for most of your life yeah high states and low states and then when you realize this though and

00:50:45.060 you realize it's not the circumstance it's not the traffic it's not my company it's not my status

00:50:49.500 what happens is instead of these highs and lows that are very steep it actually becomes more more

00:50:54.860 you know equal more you know leveled out yeah more leveled out and then that allows you

00:51:00.260 to move forward in a more powerful way where these events these circumstances this situation

00:51:05.240 my business doesn't affect me i stay the course working with the miami heat one year

00:51:09.860 they start out 11 and 30 they finish 30 and 11 what happened they stayed the course they stayed

00:51:17.460 positive they stayed connected they didn't allow this circumstance to define their mindset they kept

00:51:22.420 their mindset going and then their circumstance basically was the result of their mindset i love that

00:51:27.780 i i i think there's a lot of truth to that dude i explain a little bit different way you know

00:51:32.420 i feel like when times are the hardest is when you learn the most and i feel like when people

00:51:42.060 opt out of the hard times what they're what they're actually doing is denying an opportunity for growth

00:51:49.080 and a skill acquire acquiring a skill that they wouldn't would not other i actually just did an

00:51:54.740 instagram story on this yesterday where i was talking about how the ultimate

00:52:00.920 skill set to have is grit and and the ability to not quit because in my in my life

00:52:09.360 the only way i've acquired these skills has come through the the dips right it's come through the

00:52:16.120 hard times where i wanted to quit and every time we push through one of these times where we want to

00:52:21.060 quit not only do we acquire a new skill but other people who are on the same path as us they do quit

00:52:27.740 all right so the more times you can push through the hard shit the more skills you acquire the less

00:52:33.540 competition there is so you end up in a position where you get more and more and more skill and you

00:52:39.080 have less and less and less competition and this is what the the importance of endurance and pushing

00:52:44.660 through actually is it's a strategic tactical great play to run because after 20 years of that you end up

00:52:54.180 on some mountain that you've climbed and there's nobody else around and not only has nobody else

00:52:58.540 climbed it you have all this wisdom and all these skills that none of them were able to acquire

00:53:03.120 because they quit and so like dude when i look at entrepreneurship and i talk about you know i think

00:53:08.760 about the most successful people i know dude the people think they make up these hard stories right

00:53:14.760 like oh you got to have a hard story to tell on the internet no the reason they're successful

00:53:19.060 is because of those hard stories that actually happened to them and you know ed and i've had

00:53:24.700 millions of conversations about this like over the years where business has gone up and down and up and

00:53:29.300 down and up and down and and here's the thing that i think makes your point uh you're saying it a

00:53:35.620 different way but i agree with it a hundred percent is that you know i don't think it ever for me i never

00:53:41.100 saw it as like it gets it gets more leveled out but my ability to handle the things that would

00:53:47.920 normally mess other people up becomes much more uh much stronger right so like the bumps that do

00:53:55.980 come like like where i'm at in life right now right like i get these calls from people i know and

00:54:01.260 they're freaking out about something like what's what's the problem dude well that's not a real

00:54:05.200 problem right you know what i'm saying bro dude just do this and this yeah that's not a real problem

00:54:09.180 right so to someone it's a mountain but you see it as a hill yeah because it's a hill because you've been

00:54:13.180 through so much of it right so you become conditioned to the the normal ebbs and flows

00:54:18.480 that happen and even when it's moderately bumpy it feels pretty smooth it doesn't really feel out

00:54:24.720 of order until it gets real bad you know and so that's part of the mental conditioning that you have

00:54:29.800 to have as an achiever you have to be able to push through these hard times but you also have to

00:54:34.360 realize that there is a legitimate tactical advantage to grit there's a legitimate tactical advantage to

00:54:42.000 being mentally resilient and tough and showing up and giving everything that you have especially on

00:54:48.000 the days where everybody else quits like those are the biggest wins everybody thinks the biggest wins

00:54:52.640 are the the the trophy or the money or the house or the lifestyle that's not the biggest win bro the

00:54:58.740 biggest win is that time where you almost quit but didn't because without those wins the other wins are

00:55:05.660 impossible to achieve and so like let's give ourselves some credit about the real wins here the real wins

00:55:11.100 is when you'd rather do anything else than what it is you're supposed to do and you still do it

00:55:16.000 that's the biggest win you could ever have as a human being at least that's in my experience

00:55:20.360 that's so good that is so good because adversity is your partner in growth and i think back to my life

00:55:26.440 you know i opened up restaurants i second mortgage my home twenty thousand dollars on credit cards to

00:55:31.200 open up this first moe's southwest grill franchise we were the first moe's southwest grill in florida

00:55:36.520 fifth moe's in the entire country we had everything on the line and we were barely hanging on by a

00:55:41.720 thread but that taught me that made me stronger yeah that helped me grow yeah when i became a

00:55:46.500 writer and speaker the energy bus was rejected by over 30 publishers yeah my first book that book is

00:55:51.020 now sold over three million copies but rejected by 30 publishers but i had the grit i didn't accept

00:55:56.740 rejection i kept going kept believing everything you've been through in your past makes you stronger

00:56:02.380 for your future and i love what you said because you don't see the mountain you see the hill yeah

00:56:06.280 because you've been through that at one point they looked like mountains yeah but now they're hills for

00:56:10.260 you yeah and so because you've grown strong right so adversity is your partner growth and also

00:56:14.780 adversaries are too rivals are negative people are we often don't realize that we should get rid

00:56:21.120 of negative people when you face someone who's negative when you face a rival i always ask people

00:56:25.740 do you have a rival in high school oh yeah okay everyone had a rival because your rival made you

00:56:30.360 stronger we all need a worthy opponent my good friend has a book coming out about that the worthy

00:56:35.360 opponent helps you grow and if you don't have the worthy opponent you're not going to be who you're

00:56:39.020 meant to be and god gives you worthy opponents in your life to sharpen you and to make you stronger

00:56:44.040 throughout your life dude i i'm laughing because like you know you've heard the story that grover tells

00:56:50.200 about uh about michael jordan kind of making up his enemies oh yeah you know so like you know i don't

00:56:55.640 talk about this publicly anymore because it was just too fucking ruthless and it got to the point where like

00:56:59.980 people like legitimately didn't want to be around me because they thought i was like a fucking crazy

00:57:04.720 person but i have a list of people in my head that i fucking hate i fucking hate them and and they might

00:57:13.160 be great people they might be awesome people bro they might be the nicest people the best people in my

00:57:21.460 mind i fucking hate them and i want to crush them i want to burn their fucking house down i want to eat

00:57:28.080 their fucking food at their fucking table bro like i fucking hate them and that drives me so much as a

00:57:34.880 human being but like i can't talk about it because no one gets it you know what i'm saying like michael

00:57:40.300 jordan just like sweet old little grandma i don't really hate them like if i saw him in person bro

00:57:47.000 it would be all good it's just like i i operate in that space so well it drives me so well it's such a

00:57:54.240 good driver for me because i'm just an ultra competitor so like when i get to a certain space

00:58:00.140 where i'm feeling complacent i have to start adding to the list i'm like all right i'm gonna crush this

00:58:05.520 motherfucker and they don't even know like they don't even know they don't even know they're on

00:58:09.140 the list yeah like they don't even know i'm like all right one two three four five i'm going to

00:58:13.460 fucking annihilate all of these people and i don't do it by attacking them i do it by going out and

00:58:19.040 winning in my own way and like you know it's it's funny because like i never talk about it anymore

00:58:25.720 because people think it's crazy but you know tim told me that's tim grover who who was michael

00:58:31.140 jordan's uh trainer and had been a mental coach of many many high level people a great friend of mine

00:58:36.980 um huge mentor of mine too uh you know he told me that story about michael like making up shit that

00:58:45.020 people were saying to him like he'd be in a game dude and somebody would be like coming up to to

00:58:49.680 defend him and he'd be like what the fuck did you say oh man what did you say and the guy's like what

00:58:54.060 he's like i fucking heard that bro like it was like like but like no kind of sand is you bro

00:59:00.760 yeah dude like dude i just do that in my own level it's dark side energy bro and like certain people

00:59:07.760 are wired for it and i'm just to me for me personally that is the most powerful energy like the most the

00:59:14.140 worst thing you could do to me as someone who competes with me is talk shit about me say one

00:59:19.560 fucking word bro like i'm the guy that like you hang the headline in the locker room and i will

00:59:24.580 literally destroy myself to to fucking win that like it's just what it is no man and i i've here's

00:59:30.860 the thing dj almost every super high achiever i've ever met in my life is the exact same way

00:59:36.480 they can say all this positive they might not say it out loud that's right they might not say it in

00:59:41.020 person they might not be willing to admit it but every single killer that i've ever met even the

00:59:47.540 ones to smile and you know you think are the night bro these people will slit your fucking throat in

00:59:52.700 their mind they will dude i love it yeah i love it man doing what i do andy is such a great case

00:59:59.440 study i mean as i'm listening this is like i'm like this is fascinating to me as a mental coach

01:00:04.280 yeah and works on mindset i'm just as i'm saying that i'm thinking yes that's true killers yeah

01:00:11.640 killers but is michael jordan happy in his personal life now no that's what i'm saying you have to draw

01:00:17.380 a box around it right it can't be real right you know what i mean like it's got to be this thing that

01:00:21.900 you kind of compartmentalize when i was younger it was real right like it was real shit now it's like

01:00:27.940 this thing that i build in my mind to fuel me you know like when i don't feel like doing something

01:00:32.480 i'll be like oh so you're gonna let and i'll fill in the name you're gonna let that motherfucker win

01:00:36.180 and i will get the fuck up bro like it's just what it is i love when they do the documentary

01:00:41.420 and andy it's gonna be uh i took it personal it was very it was very personal to me bro

01:00:46.180 that and that's a good john it's true it is what it is dude i'm not gonna sit here and pretend it's

01:00:52.660 not like i fucking love it but here's the thing in real talk i'm thankful for those people

01:00:57.720 i i respect those people i am thankful for them because of what they provide me and fuel

01:01:03.260 and there's been a number of people i'm not going to name any names who over the years i've actually

01:01:07.620 become really close friends with who were at one time on that list for me you know what i mean

01:01:13.020 because like i i i value what they've provided me and then we'd be end up becoming friends you know

01:01:19.300 maybe your rivals yes and you were competing in many ways against but you're really competing for

01:01:24.660 yeah because they made you better in the long run yeah and you made them better right by running

01:01:28.420 hard you know love that man well guys john andy our third and final question question number three

01:01:33.980 hey guys in a management role how do you find the balance of mentoring your subordinates or employees

01:01:42.240 while maintaining professional boundaries context we have made it a priority to cultivate a company

01:01:49.480 culture where everyone feels supported and it's very family like um i know there is a balance of

01:01:55.020 being interested and knowledgeable about each staff member's personal life uh to a degree but i find it

01:02:00.840 at times their personal drama or struggles are boiling over into my lap but when they say that something

01:02:06.940 in their lives is affecting their mental state which in turn affects the productivity and urgency

01:02:12.480 work i feel confused as to what to do please advise i'm a big believer in love and accountability you

01:02:20.660 got to have both and you got to set the standard like this is our standard for our company for our team

01:02:26.060 our department we have the standard and i'm going to support you coach you encourage you and love you

01:02:32.260 along the way but we have a job to do like we're here and we're getting paid and we exist because we have

01:02:37.820 a business we have a company whatever it is a police department we have a role and responsibility for

01:02:42.800 what we're here to do and we can't let outside forces get in the way of that so we know and we

01:02:48.580 set the clear expectation that this is what we're about like we're here to work together like nfl players

01:02:54.300 they become friends but they're also on jobs right and they have a job to do but they're friends coaches

01:02:59.620 and a player coach loves that player but guess what that player has to perform that's where they're

01:03:05.160 going to get cut yeah so you got to perform you have a responsibility to that job and to that role

01:03:10.020 but i'm going to love you along the way so you make that very clear up front and caring about someone

01:03:16.300 and being invested in their life doesn't mean that they should be bringing their drama to you that's

01:03:20.340 where the boundaries get crossed because your job is to come to work every single day and be your

01:03:26.660 best and bring your best now if you have personal things going on your personal life and so forth

01:03:31.300 starts to affect your mental health obviously you want to have services and you want to be able to

01:03:35.300 provide solutions for that so i'm not saying you're not caring about that person but at the same time

01:03:40.900 when that person is complaining or constantly bringing their personal drama in that's not your

01:03:45.920 role as the manager or the leader to be dealing with that like my team knows like don't bring me drama

01:03:51.540 bring me what's going on in your personal life just had a baby death of a loved one we're gonna we're

01:03:58.680 gonna support you we're gonna be there for you but don't bring me your drama that is off limits and

01:04:04.200 that's not allowed because that hurts our performance it hurts our mission and we're here to do a job

01:04:10.120 i don't think a lot of people realize first of all i agree with everything you said i think culture

01:04:15.440 as a whole has somehow made people feel like that every single person in their life must accommodate

01:04:22.520 every single ebb and flow of their life and that's just not reality reality is exactly what you said

01:04:29.440 we're here we have a mission we're here to be great at it and whatever is going on in your life

01:04:34.320 if that fucks that up i'm gonna have to put someone else in there because if i don't i'm letting down

01:04:38.920 the other 400 people here all right so that's a reality that the workforce has to come to terms with

01:04:46.340 for the last 10 years we've had this situation where everybody's touchy-feely and everybody's

01:04:52.340 extra you know caring and kind and this is the thing and they've forgotten while that's a good

01:04:58.120 thing performance is the thing that drives everything else and so when we think about

01:05:04.020 you know uh let's just say an uh somebody with a career if you're someone who brings every single

01:05:12.140 thing to the office that happens to you no matter how good you are at your job you will be passed over

01:05:18.260 over and over and over again for opportunities because your leadership clearly understands that

01:05:24.380 you are a cultural issue okay you're a distraction to everybody else and so for practicality purposes

01:05:31.700 i think it's very important that people realize that while your leadership and while your managers

01:05:38.460 you know at any level may accommodate and deal with because we care about you your issues right

01:05:44.940 that will actually cost you opportunity without you realizing it because when it comes time for

01:05:51.580 the promotion or the advancement or the opportunity that part of it will be taken into place even if

01:05:59.920 they don't say anything to you about it at the time yeah you know so like if you have three people

01:06:05.820 that are equal candidates for a opportunity that you have in an organization and you have you know

01:06:11.760 two of them consistently bring their drama or their gossip or their problems or any of this shit those

01:06:18.340 people will stay right where they are regardless of their performance and the people who don't have

01:06:22.240 that baggage will continue to move up and this is a reality of any organization if let's talk we talk a lot

01:06:28.640 about the nfl let's talk about the nfl combine okay the nfl combine is a literal display of your

01:06:35.180 actual physical skills how fast can you run how agile are you how strong are you how tall are you

01:06:41.960 how much do you weigh do you have any injuries and then they have this other thing basically like a

01:06:47.060 character test okay and then they evaluate what were all the things that this person did when they

01:06:53.880 are in college what kind of drama did they have with girls what kind of crimes did they commit what kind

01:06:58.840 distractions were they for the team and every single nfl draft there are players that are amazing like the

01:07:07.000 highly talented maybe the most talented players that do not get drafted because of the excess baggage

01:07:13.060 that come with them because teams understand what that damage can do to the organization and your superior

01:07:19.740 and your team no matter where you work they understand that too and this is an unwritten

01:07:24.460 unspoken thing that people should be aware of you have to create boundaries not only as the manager

01:07:31.740 and and and the leader but also as the the team member like you like when you want to vent and you

01:07:38.540 want to bring that shit you should stop and ask okay is me bringing this stuff going to come up later is

01:07:43.280 this going to hurt me later because if it is it's probably best that you handle it and not bring it

01:07:48.000 now if john says like what john says like if it's a death or it's a real thing or someone's house

01:07:53.880 burned down or they're facing a real tragedy that's different we're talking about gossip and drama

01:07:59.480 gossip and drama are for the weakest individuals in society those people never win and the reason

01:08:06.020 they never win in spite of what skills they might offer is because the people who are the gatekeepers

01:08:10.440 to their opportunities understand the collateral damage that's created with that baggage so this is

01:08:16.080 something that like all of you guys who are entrepreneurs who are in a career you should

01:08:20.640 really examine because a lot of people get passed up over and over and over and over again for

01:08:26.280 opportunities and they can't figure out why they have great statistical numbers they they do everything

01:08:32.300 they're supposed to do and more and they but see what they don't realize is there's three other

01:08:36.300 people doing that and those two of them aren't bringing the other stuff so this is super important

01:08:41.660 for you to be aware of and it is reality it's not bullshit it's not just the way i think this is

01:08:46.760 the way any leadership thinks even if they're not transparent with you about it which usually they

01:08:51.200 aren't because they're trying to be caring and empathetic to your situation so yeah i mean dude

01:08:57.820 you just can't do it like it's not reality and it's love tough right you love your team you love your

01:09:03.500 people but then you earn the right to challenge them and if i love you i'm not going to let you settle

01:09:07.500 for anything but your best i got to hold you accountable to our standards our culture our values

01:09:12.500 our principles and how we do things and if your performance is suffering from our standard then we

01:09:17.400 have to talk about it and i have to coach you up or maybe at times let you off the bus going back to

01:09:22.500 college like in today's world we're seeing kids get upset when a coach coaches them hard but these

01:09:29.600 great coaches like that's how they coach and it's how they get the most out of some of these kids now

01:09:34.380 the best coaches love their players they do love them but they also challenge them and so you're

01:09:39.260 watching the game at home and you see a coach be hard on a player like oh what's going on that

01:09:43.300 player knows that coach loves them but now that coach is being hard because that player is doing

01:09:47.460 something that's hurting the team so you got to make sure that you're not hurting the team and like

01:09:52.800 andy said if that one person is actually affecting everyone else it doesn't mean you don't care about

01:09:57.360 them you care about everyone else because if you're constantly acquiescing to the person who's the

01:10:02.460 problem then that means you're actually allowing that person to sabotage everybody on the team in

01:10:07.760 the organization and what signal are you sending to the people who are your actual winners what what

01:10:12.760 signal as a leader are you sending to your team to all these great people on your team who show up

01:10:18.960 every day and do everything they're supposed to do without causing any problems when you're giving

01:10:23.620 the attention to the person that does what does that tell you what does that tell them it tells them

01:10:29.180 that if they want attention from you what are they going to do i'm gonna start breaking my problem

01:10:32.800 okay that's how they're going to get your attention and now you have a problem that replicates itself

01:10:37.760 through a culture cancer exactly so this is the these are the intricacies of leadership that people

01:10:45.000 don't think about you know a lot of people they get cut from a team or fired from a job and they're

01:10:49.580 like well you know that's not fair well from your perspective it feels not fair but from the leadership's

01:10:56.100 perspective they're looking at the 400 other people that they have to look out for their families

01:11:00.740 their kids their their futures and you're a you're you're standing in the way of that right and so

01:11:06.980 like dude there should be some that's not fair it's not that exactly dude there's always two sides to a

01:11:12.720 point you're putting leadership in the position to have to choose to deal with your bullshit or

01:11:17.120 in fact like that's people don't think about that no they never think about that bro and then when

01:11:21.600 they get fired or cut or moved on what do they do they go on the internet and fucking boohoo they

01:11:26.920 don't tell the other side of the story that they were a fucking problem here you know what i'm saying

01:11:30.860 like dude this is this is a big problem going back to the first topic of conversation in culture

01:11:37.400 we have moved for we have moved so far away from reality that we now operate in this make-believe land

01:11:45.180 that that is so warped that if you just choose to operate your life in the real structure in the

01:11:53.280 framework of how things work which is natural order okay the best win the they win the most they get

01:11:59.420 the most they fucking earn the most they eat the best they have the best fucking lives if you're the

01:12:03.660 best that is reality bro that's reality if you operate what's inside that framework you're going to

01:12:09.700 be fine if you operate in this other framework where everybody you think everybody cares about your

01:12:14.160 shit dude real talk most people are waiting for you to shut the fuck up and get out of their office

01:12:18.260 because they got real shit to worry about that's real shit and like dude you know people get upset

01:12:23.420 when they say that because they think that work has become some sort of therapy session it's like dude

01:12:28.340 we're we're a team we're that we're we're the we're fucking clemson bro we're trying to win the

01:12:33.780 national championship every day like does does dabo sweeney allow people to come in and disrupt his team

01:12:40.580 culture or does he cut him does nick saban allow people who uh come to practice because their

01:12:46.320 girlfriend broke up with him and dropped seven passes in a row to stay on the team no this is

01:12:51.260 reality performance dictates success your feelings do not so can you perform in the face of your

01:12:57.360 feelings can you perform in the face of hardship can you perform in the face of tragedy can you perform

01:13:02.580 when the last thing you want to do is perform if you could build yourself into that person you will

01:13:07.880 have no problem succeeding if you're anything else it's going to be real rough simple rule no

01:13:12.840 complaining rule you're not allowed to complain unless you come with a solution yeah so get rid

01:13:17.140 of all toxic complaining no complaining rule i love that man that is a great rule yeah i love it man well

01:13:22.600 guys andy john that was three yeah john thanks so much for coming on the show man i've been looking

01:13:28.280 forward to this for a long time that we got to do it again yeah i loved it yeah it was awesome

01:13:33.000 cti next time yeah next time we're gonna hit you with cti so it's all the real problems this is

01:13:38.380 great but brother where can everybody support you like what's your biggest thing that you got going

01:13:42.420 on right now they can read the one truth which i think will help them live with more power instead

01:13:46.520 of feeling powerless so the one truth get one truth.com get one truth.com they can find me on

01:13:51.980 social media at john gordon 11 j-o-n gordon 11 yeah and this is a blast like we are just yin and yang

01:13:57.720 in some ways but also still aligned and yeah on so many ways no i love it it's a different perspective

01:14:02.040 yeah look man you've been doing this for a long time i appreciate the i appreciate the different

01:14:06.540 perspectives on how to see these things it's it's not every day that i get to sit with someone

01:14:10.220 who's who's been legitimately doing this longer than i've been doing it who could this is why ed

01:14:15.400 and i have such a great friendship you know what i'm saying i learn every single time i talk to ed

01:14:19.740 i fucking learn something and it's no different with you so i appreciate it appreciate it brother thank

01:14:24.140 you all right guys that's the show don't forget to pay the fee uh don't be a hoe show the show

01:14:29.580 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions

01:14:36.060 in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - October 30, 2023

593. Q&AF Ft. Jon Gordon： High Standards Impacts, Roller Coaster Life & Business & Mentoring Employees

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