REAL AF with Andy Frisella

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:20.880 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:25.880 have q and af that's where you get to submit questions and we give you the answers now if

00:00:30.540 you want to submit your questions to be answered on the show there's a couple different ways you

00:00:33.740 can do that the first way is guys email those questions into ask andy at andy for seller.com

00:00:39.200 or you can go down in the comments and drop your question right there and we will pick some from

00:00:44.320 there as well now these questions can be about anything it can be about what's going on in the

00:00:47.940 world but typically we like to talk about how we're going to get better entrepreneurship business

00:00:52.640 personal development how to be better people um those are the questions that we like but we'll

00:00:56.880 take some about anything whatever you guys want to know other times you tune in we have cti that's

00:01:01.080 where we talk about what's going on in the world uh we speculate on what's true what's not true and

00:01:05.120 then we talk about how we the people are the solution to the problems going on in the world

00:01:08.040 uh other times we have real talk that's just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk

00:01:12.160 sometimes we have full length that's typically what you see whenever we have a guest come in and

00:01:16.060 we have a conversation and then sometimes we have 75 hard verses and that's where someone who comes in

00:01:20.780 who's completed the 75 hard program uh comes in and talks about how they were before how they are

00:01:25.620 after and how you can get your shit together with the 75 hard program so uh if you're interested in 0.75

00:01:30.360 the 75 hard program and live hard program you can get that for free at episode 208 on the audio feed

00:01:37.260 that episode was released uh well before we were actually on youtube so uh go on the audio feed

00:01:42.480 wherever podcasts are go to episode 208 on real af you get the program for free if you're one of those

00:01:47.560 nuts and bolts i gotta know every single detail kind of person there's a book available on the

00:01:51.200 website called 75 hard and that's at andy frisella.com so um with all that being said we have

00:01:57.380 this thing we call the fee you'll hear us say pay the fee uh that means hey man we don't run ads on

00:02:02.760 the show you're going to realize that um unlike most shows especially shows of this size i pass on the

00:02:09.880 income to run ads on the shows for a specific reason and the reason is first of all it's annoying

00:02:14.800 but second of all um i don't want to be told what i can and can't say i don't want to have to filter

00:02:21.200 my opinions or anything for for money that's not what i'm about i'm an entrepreneur i've built

00:02:25.340 successful companies i don't do this for the money i actually pay a lot of money to produce this show

00:02:29.780 and all i ask in return is that you guys share the show all right so when i say pay the fee that means

00:02:34.520 share the show we get banned we get censored we get throttled and um you know if this information is

00:02:41.340 to get out in the world it has to be shared so um don't be a hoe share the show all right 1.00

00:02:48.160 all right what's up man happy monday yeah monday morning oh what you got there

00:02:52.280 uh this is a little screaming freedom first form energy you're switching it up i like this dude

00:03:00.180 is orange no longer number one no orange is or i actually think the tropic lightning

00:03:05.220 yeah as as it's equal to the orange at least it's very very good um but i like this too you know

00:03:12.180 like the florida man and missouri man they're kind of the same yeah that's right yeah they're cousins

00:03:16.280 that's right they're first cousins too yeah

00:03:21.220 no they're probably married yeah uh nothing man just just here to do the shit man you know it's been a 0.76

00:03:30.620 it's been a weird couple weeks been traveling a lot been had a lot of stuff going on and you know

00:03:36.040 here we are thanksgiving it's crazy that we're in the week of thanksgiving yeah you know this year

00:03:41.900 has gone by so quick bro you know the one thing like as you get older the time definitely goes faster

00:03:46.680 and i know like that sounds weird to people who are like 25 they're like what's that mean like bro

00:03:50.800 you'll see like like i they were putting up the christmas tree here at first form headquarters

00:03:55.880 that's where we do the show for you guys that don't know it's uh one of the companies that i that i own

00:04:00.080 um i'm watching them put up the tree and i'm like fuck dude it seems like they were just taking 0.82

00:04:06.040 that down like a week ago i know right you know like it was weird and santa's coming back yeah you

00:04:10.580 know so it's crazy man um well what did you like did you ever believe in santa and when did you stop

00:04:18.940 i mean yeah everybody believed in santa when they were kids right yeah and then you know you get on

00:04:24.920 the school bus and the kids the other kids tell you that it's bullshit yeah i think the school bus is 0.82

00:04:29.060 where i learned a lot of my stuff you know what i mean like i rode the bus with some older kids that

00:04:34.720 were four or five years older than me and they they were kind of shut the fuck up kids santa's not 1.00

00:04:39.620 right exactly like they were assholes yeah so it is what it is but um there was this one year santa 0.52

00:04:47.520 brought me uh the presents it was wrapped in newspaper though because everybody's got one like

00:04:51.980 that before we couldn't uh everyone's gotten one like that that's not that's not your thing like

00:04:56.540 i think most people have gotten a present wrapped in newspaper you everybody's in here shaking their

00:05:00.880 head yes yeah no i'm gonna die you know every guy oh yeah i'm gonna die i didn't celebrate christmas 0.61

00:05:06.160 oh that sucks no christmas for him that fucking sucks yeah yeah huh i'm trying to think what like 0.99

00:05:13.940 what age i was when my kids like all right i see your mom it's you yeah i don't know there's

00:05:20.140 something magical about christmas man like when you're a kid and you don't know any better and the

00:05:23.980 shit you know it's just cool yeah yeah huh yeah they are the magic parents are the magic well i'm

00:05:33.480 just saying like how do we know santa's not though you know i'm saying like there's historical context

00:05:37.000 and like you know like we got bigfoot explorers and shit like bro come on we got a show to do 0.86

00:05:43.520 but guys let's get into it man andy guys i got some good ones for you i got three of them

00:05:50.660 uh let's get with the first one though uh hi andy uh like some things you just can't entertain

00:05:58.600 dude like i can't entertain a 28 year old man talking about fucking santa claus 0.99

00:06:02.640 like when we talk about handling your family members at fucking thanksgiving that's how you 0.93

00:06:07.280 handle them okay like oh i'm a i'm a she her when they're clear i'm a she her all right look bro we

00:06:17.680 got thanksgiving to do you know like andy let me stuff the turkey yeah i bet you like that yeah

00:06:26.080 i bet you like that all right guys andy question number one andy what is your take on the saying

00:06:35.160 that money isn't everything when it comes to job opportunities okay so i currently work for a small

00:06:41.060 young company with a great work culture environment that has none of the corporate bullshit but i get 0.58

00:06:47.340 paid below my industry standard i've advocated for myself and asking for more money but the response

00:06:52.340 was not promising i was recently contacted by a company that provides a 40 increase in my salary

00:06:59.340 on top of bonuses and benefits but the company boasts about their esgdi agenda which is a huge turnoff 1.00

00:07:07.280 yeah what is your advice on staying with the company versus chasing higher salaries well first of all money

00:07:13.060 isn't everything okay like you have to make enough money to live your life look there's a lot to this

00:07:19.200 all right let's this is kind of an involved question it it depends on where you're at in your life

00:07:25.300 first of all okay you have to consider all things all right do i like working here do i like the people

00:07:34.200 i'm around do i feel like we're on a worthy mission do i think the work that we do is real do i think it

00:07:41.940 actually matters these are questions to ask because you're going to spend most of your time

00:07:47.420 at your work all right we spend what we go home at five o'clock and we spend the evenings at home

00:07:54.300 and the most of the week during the day in our productive hours we're spending at a job you know

00:07:59.780 it's very important to spend that time in a place that you enjoy but here's the tactical advantage to

00:08:07.240 doing that when you're actually in a place that you enjoy you're likely to get in a position where

00:08:12.840 you make much more money because you become better at what you do because you enjoy what you do

00:08:17.320 all right and where a lot of young people make mistakes is they put themselves just like this

00:08:22.960 person in a situation where they kind of sell their soul for some more money and they put themselves

00:08:28.160 in an unbearable miserable situation that they can't last in all right so how good is that

00:08:35.220 raise and pay if you can't go to work and perform because you hate what you do you hate the people

00:08:41.760 around you you don't believe in the mission and that's going to handicap your work ethic and likely

00:08:46.740 what will happen is you will stand out as someone who's not performing and eventually lose that pay

00:08:52.460 anyway okay so we have to think about this from all different directions when you're young

00:08:57.760 and you're let's say under 30 years old the biggest thing that you're looking to gain is actual skill

00:09:06.100 set you are looking to pay your bills yes you are looking to uh take care of your responsibilities

00:09:12.040 yes you are looking for a company that has massive career upside yes but at the end of the day what you

00:09:20.180 really need to develop is skill set and so you have to get in an environment where you can learn a whole

00:09:25.160 bunch of skills that'll be valuable that you can take anywhere that you want to go in your life

00:09:30.300 right so when we think about these these incredibly you know nuanced and difficult life decisions that we

00:09:36.940 all have to make it's never just about money it's only only about money when you don't have any

00:09:42.800 okay but the reality is is bro your your mental well-being your drive your ambition your fire for

00:09:49.480 what you do that's the thing that's actually going to help you create more money and sometimes you don't

00:09:55.500 get that up front sometimes you have to just get in a situation that you really enjoy that you find

00:10:00.140 purpose in where you're actually contributing to people you believe in the products that you're selling

00:10:04.980 or that your company's selling and you work in something that you really enjoy and what that does is that

00:10:10.520 develops not just a skill set but also the passion that you have for it will allow you to move up the ranks

00:10:16.540 and then the money starts to come right so there's all kinds of ways to think about this now sometimes

00:10:23.520 when you're young and this is a very important thing like a lot of people put themselves in highly

00:10:29.580 leveraged positions when they're very young right they go out and they get in a lot of debt they go

00:10:34.440 out and they have you know kids when they're 20 years old and i'm not i'm not knocking that i actually

00:10:39.680 think there should be more of that but the reality is is that the more debt and the more obligation

00:10:44.680 you have the less flexibility you have to move forward in something that you enjoy and so this

00:10:49.640 is something to think about as well you know something my dad always told me and sal as weird

00:10:54.280 as it is is hey man don't do drugs and don't have any babies okay like he would tell us that when we

00:11:00.360 were kids because like he knew that like if we got into drugs or we had kids at a young age like got

00:11:06.400 some random girl pregnant that would significantly hinder our forward progression in life okay so these are 1.00

00:11:13.600 things that we must consider when making these decisions and if you are someone who's let's say

00:11:18.740 25 and you do have some obligations then you're probably willing to go somewhere that pays a little

00:11:23.940 bit more money and and deal with something that's a little less passion-based right to to take care of

00:11:30.020 what you do and here's the ultimate reality guys we do not always love what we do there's days when i come

00:11:37.560 in here in this building which by the way i believe that we run the best cup first form okay i believe

00:11:42.720 is the best run company of any company on the planet i believe in every single entrepreneur

00:11:48.480 that comes here high level doesn't matter who they are i mean i've had everybody in here whether they've

00:11:54.140 been on the show or not they agree they're like dude there's nothing like this and there are still

00:11:58.460 days when i wake up and i'm like fuck i'd rather do something else you know what i'm saying like it's 0.88

00:12:03.940 not always fun like we're gonna have to fight and i think with young people there's this big

00:12:08.680 misconception that every single day that we wake up there's going to be it's it's going to be

00:12:14.040 amazing and when it's not amazing and we go through these stints that last you know weeks or months

00:12:19.060 where things just don't feel right we quit and we look for something new but here's the thing

00:12:24.020 it's it's like chasing a relationship right like a lot of people will go relationship relationship

00:12:29.600 relationship relationship relationship because they can't figure out that the only reason that

00:12:34.260 shit doesn't feel right is because it's not new anymore you know like the newness of a relationship

00:12:39.340 that new car smell yeah bro and people believe that like that's quote unquote love that's not love

00:12:45.360 that new that's infatuation it's lust right that's lust and it's new and people people will throw their

00:12:51.860 entire lives away chasing that over and over and over again thinking that uh you know they're not in

00:12:57.580 love or whatever right but they really just don't have an understanding of what that really means

00:13:02.020 and this people do this in their careers too they'll spend two or three years at a career

00:13:06.520 and when it starts to get a little monotonous they go to something else but here's the problem when it

00:13:12.140 starts to get a little monotonous that's where the separator happens that's where you have to push

00:13:16.580 through because everybody else kind of stops they find their ceiling or they move on or they go

00:13:20.720 somewhere else and you start to push through the monotonous and then eventually an opportunity comes

00:13:25.380 that's a new opportunity within the same organization and you move up this is how when you look at

00:13:30.460 organizations and you see people who are on the board of directors who started out in the warehouse

00:13:34.780 at seven dollars an hour this is how they did it they put they didn't show up here every day and say

00:13:39.820 man this is the fucking this is great this is like going to disneyland right like they showed up 0.98

00:13:44.840 well that's not great but you get what i'm saying like not now yeah it's not like you'll end up

00:13:49.760 walking out like you know in debt yeah right yeah no shit pronoun badges you walk out fucked up 0.98

00:13:55.600 that's for sure but the point is is that no mickey no yeah don't touch me there

00:14:02.140 i said her like dude but here's the point mini now yeah that's right 0.98

00:14:11.700 it's mini okay look dude here's the thing we have to push through these monotonous times

00:14:22.900 in order to come out the other side with a new skill set a new understanding that we can then

00:14:29.140 utilize to progress our lives yeah so like bro this idea and it's i feel really bad for young people

00:14:35.120 man because you guys have to watch all these fake entrepreneurs and fake successful people on

00:14:41.040 internet and short form content all fucking day long i didn't have to watch that okay like i didn't 0.95

00:14:47.560 i just knew the people in my life that i knew and i knew most of my friends were going to school

00:14:52.540 to get a regular job and i was doing something different and i didn't have to watch all these

00:14:57.640 people who were my age saying oh dude check out this i made seven thousand dollars the last you know

00:15:04.500 week doing this and this and this and i slept in for half the like all these lies and all this

00:15:10.500 marketing that's that's presented as real life through these fake entrepreneur people

00:15:14.680 that corrupts people's mind that makes people think that they they don't realize that these

00:15:21.400 people are completely lying to try and sell things to them right and they start to feel like they're

00:15:26.500 doing the wrong thing by working a regular job or building a career i'm here to tell you bro

00:15:31.160 the real shit entrepreneur life is not for everybody it's it's fucking seven to eight percent of the 0.60

00:15:38.860 population and less than one percent of that seven to eight percent is a million dollar a year earner

00:15:44.580 that's reality those are the stats that's the data okay so it's very very very hard it's no different

00:15:50.360 than being on the university of alabama it's no different than playing on the fucking kansas city 0.95

00:15:55.840 chiefs like you have to be that good to become a million dollar earner all right but if you become

00:16:00.420 that level of employee there's lots of companies where you can make that kind of money and

00:16:05.100 potentially get equity and potentially get stock and build a real life for yourself and that comes

00:16:11.080 from not changing the direct like what if patrick mahomes every time he had two or three bad games

00:16:17.440 growing up he said i'm gonna switch sports would he be patrick mahomes no you see what i'm saying and

00:16:22.740 this is what people do with their lives it's what people do with their relationships and and then they

00:16:26.660 wake up at 40 years old and they're like what the fuck happened well bro you didn't listen to your 0.88

00:16:30.560 uncle andy man i told you what would happen i've been telling you what would happen for almost a

00:16:34.760 decade now you can't get caught in the hamster wheel and the way you get caught in the hamster

00:16:38.540 wheel is by switching your life up every two or three years when the newness wears off and doing

00:16:44.140 something else true greatness comes with time as being a part of that recipe and if you do not put

00:16:50.400 in the time the greatness can't exist nobody builds a great life in three years it doesn't happen

00:16:55.940 no matter what the internet says no matter what anybody on the internet says so pushing through the

00:17:02.160 monotonous shit is a requirement you just don't realize that after you push through the monotonous

00:17:07.760 for a little bit it gets cool again and then you push through it again and it gets cool again and

00:17:11.540 this is phases it goes up and it goes down it goes up and it goes down and if your performance is

00:17:16.060 consistent through the ups and downs eventually you find yourself a million miles away from where you are

00:17:20.780 in a much better position and so money isn't everything you should ask all these questions you should

00:17:26.480 consider what it is you're doing because the reality is if you don't love what you're doing you're very

00:17:30.940 it's it's highly unlikely that you're going to be successful at it anyway so like if you take a

00:17:35.200 little bit more money up front what is that costing you on the back side values right yeah well dude it's

00:17:41.320 costing you real success later yeah you see what i'm saying so there's a lot of ways to look at this

00:17:46.920 and it just depends on where you are in the journey you know if you're a 30 year old guy who has five

00:17:52.220 kids to support bro you got to do what you got to do and there's nothing wrong with that do it well

00:17:57.340 set a good example you know what i mean like if you've got to if you've got to become a tradesman

00:18:03.180 or whatever it is you do that's a noble thing it's a noble thing to do that kind of work it's really a

00:18:08.480 noble thing to do any work and do it well in my opinion i don't really care what the pay is i don't

00:18:13.320 have a it's the ethics it's the work it's the example it's the ethos huh it's the ethos behind it

00:18:20.360 yeah that's right and like dude there needs to be a lot more i'll tell you this i respect a dude who

00:18:26.240 is a plumber who does great plumbing work a fucking gazillion times more than some dumbass

00:18:31.080 on the internet talking about their lamborghini right real talk 100 who would you rather hang

00:18:36.080 out with who would you rather be around who would you rather have your kids around see what i'm 0.89

00:18:41.120 saying absolutely so there's nothing wrong with doing those things guys don't let the internet fool

00:18:45.540 you that having a career and working hard is some sort of you're you're fucking it up these people 0.97

00:18:50.500 those people that you see will be broke their entire lives they're pretending they will never figure it

00:18:55.180 out okay so that's my answer i love it man guys andy question number two andy i've been in no man's

00:19:03.000 land for almost five years now with the company i'm building all i can do without the finances is

00:19:08.700 network and build a following which is going great my problem is the loneliness of no man's land

00:19:14.260 how did you make it more tolerable how did you stay in the right mindset when it seemed like

00:19:19.640 everyone disappeared well a couple things one we have to understand the reality of of life

00:19:27.500 okay just be there's not a single per there's really not a single person that exists that has

00:19:33.880 the same friend circle that they had when they were in high school unless they've never grown or never

00:19:37.980 evolved and they just stay where they were and kept doing the same things kept going to the same

00:19:42.020 parties the same bars the same activities and you know they don't have much else in their life and

00:19:47.760 those people will are very good at like propping up i'm i'm my my friends and my life and i'm i'm

00:19:55.940 loyal and loyalty and all this shit right but the reality is is anybody who's building something good

00:20:01.540 is going to cycle through relationships over the course of time you're going to you're going to find

00:20:06.780 friends and then those friends are not going to want to grow at the same rate you're growing and

00:20:12.160 and you're going to feel alone and then you're going to find new friends and when you find new friends

00:20:17.220 they're going to be more aligned with what it is you're doing and if you keep going you'll outgrow

00:20:22.060 them as well and it's painful to outgrow those friends because you also you end up having if you're

00:20:27.900 a good person you end up having a little bit of guilt you like kind of think like fuck man you know 0.66

00:20:32.500 i wish i could go but here's the problem is that when you're around those people because you're trying

00:20:38.020 to grow and they're not they try to convince you that you're doing something immoral that's just the

00:20:41.860 way culture is you know you're you've changed or you're greedy or you're different than you used

00:20:46.520 to be when in reality on your what you're trying to do that's the point i'm trying to get better i'm

00:20:51.680 trying to improve i'm trying to become better at what i do and they're shaming you for it and that's

00:20:55.680 not good for you to be around so when we move to the through these friend cycles we have to

00:21:00.540 understand that if you're an ambitious person you're committed to growth this is a natural reality

00:21:05.260 of the path okay and eventually you'll find yourself in a network where everybody's kind of

00:21:10.720 aligned and everybody like like my friend network now i don't see my friends my friends are all over

00:21:15.500 the country or they're here in this building right and i don't have to like be around them all the time

00:21:22.680 to know that they're there and when i have problems that i care about guess what i do i call them up or

00:21:27.400 they call me up and we talk through things and so the the reality of the game is is that friends

00:21:33.320 rarely stay for forever and so there's this thing in society where it's like that's how it's you're

00:21:41.660 supposed to keep your friends for your whole life and and dude that's just not real it's not a real

00:21:47.280 thing no okay not if you're trying to do things um you're not gonna you're not gonna be worth a

00:21:52.700 billion dollars and go hang out with people that that you know think you're bragging because you're

00:21:57.680 just talking about things going on in your life it's not fun to do yeah right so that's the first

00:22:03.160 thing the second thing is is no man's land shouldn't last for five years bro like you should

00:22:10.520 be working to maintain like a lot of people will say oh i'm in no man's land but they're also not

00:22:16.380 putting any effort into networking or having relationships or building friendships and they're

00:22:21.320 just pouring themselves into their work so much and they're neglecting all the other things and then

00:22:25.640 what they do is they make it everybody else's fault nobody wants to be around me nobody likes me

00:22:31.300 nobody and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because you're not making any effort yourself

00:22:36.060 you can't expect people to come find you you have to make some effort as well and so getting around

00:22:42.100 people intentionally and this is where something like the arte syndicate is a good thing for people

00:22:46.080 okay because the arte syndicate if you're unfamiliar is a group that ed my let and i put on which is real

00:22:51.760 business owners doing real things in real life and what happens is is people find new friends in that

00:22:56.880 group that support their vision that work with them and help push them in the same place that

00:23:00.920 they are correct yeah so you have to proactively seek relationships that make sense for where you're

00:23:07.400 at and that's a real thing that you know a lot of people neglect because they think there's some

00:23:13.160 sort of badge of honor of having no friends or being all alone but bro that creates misery man

00:23:18.020 like one of the most anxious feelings that you're ever going to have is feeling like everybody else

00:23:22.340 doesn't give a fuck about you when in reality that's not really what's going on what's going on 0.88

00:23:26.560 is you've been so dedicated to your own thing that you haven't put any effort into anybody else's stuff

00:23:31.360 or talk to anybody and they're just doing their own thing and you can't be mad about that there's been

00:23:35.820 periods in my life where i have become borderline bitter thinking like well nobody likes me but when

00:23:42.420 i really am honest with myself it's not that nobody likes me it's that i'm not giving any effort

00:23:47.780 into those relationships as well so like because i'm so busy i'm focused on my own shit i'm not 0.73

00:23:53.800 calling people saying hey man how you doing or what can i do or this or that and that's something

00:23:57.960 that you know you have to be proactive about if you don't want to feel completely alone um because

00:24:03.060 if you don't do those things you'll stay in that position of no man's land forever so especially

00:24:08.360 because we have to remember you're moving up right so when you move up into a friend group

00:24:14.220 you're the new person that these people aren't going to come to you like you're not going to just

00:24:19.380 start making a million dollars a year a million dollars a month or whatever it is you're trying

00:24:23.700 to make and all the people of the same caliber are going to find you they're not they don't care

00:24:28.540 they've already been living that life you're going to have to insert yourself by making effort and

00:24:33.220 making value for them to become friends with those people so like if you're not actively doing that

00:24:39.060 yes you're going to feel alone so you know ask yourself you know are you making a real effort

00:24:44.780 or are you kind of waiting around for people to join your thing yeah can you can you touch on this

00:24:50.100 a little bit because this is actually something i've said i feel like i've seen this in action a few

00:24:53.640 times um just being around you but can you talk about the intent behind making those new relationships

00:25:02.100 when you're moving up that next rung in that ladder can you talk a little bit about the intent right

00:25:06.360 like because there is a sniff test that those people on that ladder have and the intent will

00:25:12.640 get sniffed out very very quickly can you yeah so so here's what happens so when you have a young buck

00:25:18.720 coming up up the ladder right and they're doing good they're maybe they're making some money they're

00:25:25.100 doing they're becoming successful they start thinking they're like the smartest person ever like

00:25:30.080 you they start thinking like fuck i'm the only person of all my friends making all this money but you 0.82

00:25:34.060 don't realize bro you're not swimming with the big dogs in the ocean bro you're swimming in a puddle

00:25:40.000 okay like you're you don't recognize that you're not in you're not even in the real game you're not

00:25:44.460 petco but yeah so you sure as fuck are not the smartest motherfucker in the world yeah all right and 0.90

00:25:48.840 what happens is is that these people start making some income and they start to believe they're real

00:25:53.000 smart and real slick and they believe they can kind of fool the people up the chain but look dude

00:25:58.720 there's been a million of you you don't understand this there's been a million of you come along that

00:26:03.980 come in with the intent of i'm going to try to get close to this person so i can get something right

00:26:08.800 okay and so people who are up the chain they are fucking highly tuned at sniffing out people who are 0.86

00:26:16.560 hanger honors or trying to get all right so there's this long lag time period that you have to basically

00:26:23.860 like prove that you're there to contribute not there to take and eventually the guard gets lets

00:26:29.160 down and you start having a real relationship but a lot of people aren't willing to put in that time

00:26:34.080 because they're so focused on what they can get not what they can give and so you know i get this all

00:26:39.540 the time bro i get dms from people all the fucking time who are like man you know i'm doing this and 0.99

00:26:45.660 this and this and this and this we should hang or we should do this or i want to be in your circle i

00:26:49.260 wanted this bro there's zero chance it's not happening it's not happening unless i've known

00:26:53.900 you for like years and you know a whole bunch of people that i know that i'll vouch for you it's

00:26:58.260 not fucking happening bro i've been fucked over by so many people like i've i've been i've been 0.99

00:27:03.540 embarrassed i've associated with the wrong people there's so many people that i've associated with

00:27:08.000 over the years that i wish i hadn't because i didn't know any better or they were good at pretending

00:27:12.820 and that's over 25 years of experience and when you're a good-hearted person

00:27:18.600 you know you want to welcome people in and you want to take care of people and you want people

00:27:23.660 to win but you have to realize that most people aren't good when they're trying to get right and

00:27:29.880 so like if you're a young person and you're trying to move up in your circle and you're trying to get

00:27:33.700 into a group and you're trying you have to put your individual desires on the way back burner and

00:27:39.880 those should only come out when someone in that group asks you what can i do for you right after

00:27:45.700 you've already done a billion things for them you know what i'm saying that's how it works you have

00:27:50.340 to yes you have to pay your dues and this is reality bro like if i was working to get into a higher

00:27:55.580 friend group i'm not fucking asking people for shit the minute you ask somebody for shit they 0.99

00:28:00.980 fucking ghost you bro you're out you're out so like and dude it's crazy how many of these young 0.99

00:28:06.540 people will hit me up in dms like cold up asking me for shit you know what i mean like yeah like you 0.93

00:28:13.020 guys are you guys are not aware of how it works and then you realize like you you you can't figure

00:28:18.200 out why you can't get in somewhere and you know then you end up thinking like those people are all

00:28:24.000 assholes well no that's not actually what's going on what's actually going on is they've seen a million 0.51

00:28:27.920 people just like you come in and fucking causing problems whether it be drama or or screw them over 0.98

00:28:34.760 or bullshit bro i fuck man i could tell you a million stories like this yeah so the more successful 0.89

00:28:40.260 people get the more the guard goes up because there's so many people coming at them that they're

00:28:45.540 like no i don't need any more friends right like bro i don't want any more friends i've thought and

00:28:50.300 i'm talking me literally i do not want any more friends i don't want i don't want anything from

00:28:54.700 anybody i don't need anything from anybody i don't i don't want anything like if i if i am putting

00:29:00.660 interest in you it's because i see something that i believe in that i think i can help with and i don't

00:29:05.580 expect anything in return like i have given away i have just subscribed myself to this mentality of

00:29:12.760 i'm if i give i'm giving i'm not loaning i'm not expecting in return you know like i'm some one

00:29:21.100 thing i like to do is i like to meet with young business owners uh locally it's like sometimes i

00:29:25.520 meet with young business owners at my garage in my house i invite them over locally we have

00:29:29.340 a cigar we talk about business i'll do a whiteboard with them and i don't need it they're like well what

00:29:35.080 can i do nothing i'm not doing this i'm not i'm doing this because i think i can help you and it

00:29:40.260 doesn't really cost me shit i don't want anything in return but also i'm not giving you any more than 0.91

00:29:44.640 that you know what i'm saying like we're not gonna fucking hold hands we're not gonna i'm not drinking 0.98

00:29:50.100 beer with you yeah i'm just trying to give you a little bit of fucking info so it can save you some 0.99

00:29:54.600 time because i believe that entrepreneurs are the cure to what's going on in society so i try to

00:30:00.240 contribute in that way but i mean dude the reality is is it is it you have to pour into people before

00:30:07.400 they'll actually accept you into their group after you're moving up the ladder and and a lot of people

00:30:11.340 aren't willing to put in that time or effort or energy or they misunderstand the amount of time effort

00:30:16.460 or energy that it actually takes yeah you know like and those are just bro imagine for 25 years

00:30:21.520 if like 80 of the people that you let close to you turned out to be flakes and either fucked you 0.97

00:30:27.700 over or cause you drama or cause you gossip like dude i'm at the point now where like if i do

00:30:33.440 something for someone they cause me any type of fucking drama whatsoever where i just cut them the 0.99

00:30:37.300 fuck out i just don't even deal with it i don't care you know and that's how all those people are 0.98

00:30:42.720 yeah so you know if you want to move up in your friend circle the answer to the question is this

00:30:47.620 make sure that you're you're putting make sure you're not you're not i would audit whether or not

00:30:54.280 you're actually in no man's land or whether you are actually not putting in any effort to build a

00:30:59.460 new friend circle and i would take advantage of groups like rta syndicate i would try to get around

00:31:05.460 people who are higher up the chain than you and i would work to contribute value to them any way

00:31:10.160 possible and that doesn't look like you know hey man what can i do to provide value for you that's not

00:31:15.900 what we're talking about we're talking about you using your own skill set your own perception

00:31:20.540 to do things that benefit those people to show them that you're not there to take you're there

00:31:24.980 to contribute and it once you're there to contribute everybody's there to contribute and you'll get

00:31:29.620 contributed to as well over the course of time yeah but it's not a transactional thing you'll get

00:31:34.800 sniffed out you kicked off the ladder i love it man fucking love it guys any question number three 0.89

00:31:40.620 third and final question hey eddie my husband and i are 30 years old and we have three kids under the age

00:31:47.900 of five he has always wanted to start his own business but how do i support him in doing this

00:31:54.520 when i'm fearful of losing his income to build his company i don't ever want to hold him back

00:31:59.820 or be the reason he doesn't pursue something but i don't think it's crazy to be concerned about the

00:32:04.540 money and having his income on top of mine to keep the bills paid any advice on this yeah i mean a lot

00:32:12.160 of people make this transition the wrong okay yeah i have a lot of advice okay first of all

00:32:17.600 you have to understand like to do entrepreneurship in a real way is probably the hardest thing that

00:32:26.020 you're ever going to do in your entire life all right you have to be mentally prepared and you have

00:32:31.720 to be built for it this is why i cannot stand the online entrepreneur space quote unquote because so

00:32:42.740 many of these people make it sound like it's so easy and it's so quick and it's so fast and it's for

00:32:48.240 everyone and what ends up happening is people when they get into the game they get their ass beat and 0.76

00:32:56.320 they're like fuck i'm doing something wrong no you're not doing anything wrong man it's just hard 0.98

00:33:02.680 yeah and so i come from the place of this understand this is going to be the hardest thing you've ever

00:33:08.280 done and work to prepare yourself and build yourself into someone who can tolerate that path

00:33:13.340 all right so that's the first thing i want the first thing is this make sure that you're not just

00:33:20.880 buying into the idea of becoming an entrepreneur because it's what's going on in the world right

00:33:26.260 now this idea that you're you're more free you have more free time you make more that's fucking 0.96

00:33:32.960 bullshit that that will that happens when you're like 15 years into the fucking journey not a month 0.99

00:33:39.480 okay not the next week when you quit your job like the amount of misunderstanding when it comes to this

00:33:46.360 is insane to me and maybe it's just because i've done it but we're propagated day in and day out by

00:33:54.000 these messages that entrepreneurship is very easy and then anybody can do it and that's simply not

00:33:59.040 the truth statistically it's not the truth all right so first question is is this something that

00:34:05.300 you're truly committed to over the course of your life or is this something that you want to do

00:34:10.220 because it seems like everybody else is doing it or is this something you're wanting to do because

00:34:15.300 you're upset with your current situation okay because if it's not something that you're going to commit

00:34:20.200 to from here until you the time you could see it through to fruition which is probably your whole

00:34:24.720 life it's not worth doing because it's too hard of a journey you won't be successful and you'll find

00:34:29.160 yourself right back in the position where you are doing the same thing you're doing now three or four

00:34:34.240 years down the road and you've just lost three or four years of progress in that thing all right so

00:34:38.980 first off are you really committed to this is this something that you truly want to do

00:34:42.860 secondly transitioning from a regular job to a business owner or entrepreneur people think they

00:34:52.060 got to rip the band-aid off and just jump in that's not actually how most successful people do it how

00:34:57.840 they do it is they work their job and then at nighttime or the free time they have they start to

00:35:02.520 build their business and it becomes like a a side project at first all right and then they make a

00:35:07.560 they get a little bit going they get a little bit more going and they get a little bit more going

00:35:11.340 and then they come to a point where they can't get any more going financially business-wise without

00:35:16.540 the time available from their day job right when you get to a point where you can cover your bills

00:35:22.900 and you can survive financially and and the day job is holding you back from growing this further

00:35:30.020 that's the time where you make the jump from your rain gig to the side gig and make the side gig your

00:35:35.600 main gig does that make sense absolutely okay so people people don't do this transition properly

00:35:41.040 and it ends up ruining their whole thing because you know they pull the band-aid off and then three

00:35:46.720 months down the road they can't pay any of their bills okay another thing is when you make that jump

00:35:52.320 you should be in a position where you could financially float your bills for a number of months in

00:35:58.280 advance and this might require you downsizing your life this this might require you going from

00:36:04.120 a three hundred thousand dollar home or two hundred thousand dollar home back to an apartment

00:36:08.620 this might require you selling your nice fifty thousand dollar pickup truck and going to a ten

00:36:13.780 thousand dollar beater okay so when you downsize your lot your financial liabilities you have less

00:36:19.460 restraint on and more freedom on what you can do so these are all things to consider but when i hear

00:36:26.760 questions like this the main thing that bothers me the most is i i worry that people are jumping into

00:36:34.820 things because the internet culture makes it seem like it's something that it actually isn't and that

00:36:41.680 concerns me entrepreneurship is incredibly rewarding but it's also incredibly difficult all right i'm very

00:36:48.480 good at entrepreneurship that my my wins my scoreboard has a hundred motherfucking points on it okay 0.60

00:36:55.080 it's i there are days when i wake up where i'm like i cannot fucking do this you know and i'm good at 0.91

00:37:01.340 it dude you know what i'm saying yeah and let me tell you something all these other entrepreneurs that

00:37:05.920 you know on the internet as like these main fucking top level guys i'm gonna tell you i'm friends with 0.92

00:37:12.020 them there's days where they had that too where they're like fuck bro this is fucking hard so if it's hard 0.89

00:37:17.760 for them you have to understand how hard it's going to be for you not knowing what they know

00:37:22.980 just getting started dude it's the hardest thing you will ever do in your entire life and i'm not

00:37:29.520 saying that to scare you i'm saying that so that you can prepare yourselves mentally for the fucking 0.99

00:37:35.160 path that you're about to embark on it's hard and that this is why i get so frustrated with the

00:37:40.920 culture of this game because everybody makes it seem like it's not it's just not for everybody dude

00:37:46.340 it's like it's statistically what it is it's it's seven to eight percent of the population

00:37:52.480 with less than one percent of those earning a million dollars a year that's reality

00:37:56.040 okay now if you're going to become i'm not saying every single one of you out here could likely become

00:38:02.100 one of those people making that kind of money but the reality is is you're going to have to trade a

00:38:05.660 lot for it it's not going to be easy it's not going to be as simple as downloading a course or a

00:38:10.780 program or a funnel or a this or that or this it's going to be incredibly difficult you're going

00:38:16.940 to lose a lot of sleep you're going to wake up with a lot of stress you're going to live a life

00:38:21.080 of anxiety and frustration and pain almost every single day like it's just something that most people

00:38:27.220 are not cut out to deal with it's a different level of responsibility that is hard and so you know

00:38:35.420 to answer the question and i'm not fucking discouraging you guys because you can do it if 0.94

00:38:40.640 you become the kind of person who does those things you just have to prepare yourself for it

00:38:45.580 this is why the live hard program is such a valuable program because it increases all the skill sets that

00:38:51.200 you need discipline grit fortitude self-confidence self-belief self-esteem the ability to endure this is

00:38:59.340 what we're these are the skill sets needed in entrepreneurship to succeed so if you don't have those

00:39:04.560 go do the live hard program and do it every single year because those skills need to be sharpened over

00:39:09.960 and over and over and over and over again as you go down the path so that's why i did the program

00:39:15.000 all right but here's the thing ask yourself what is it and why is it that i want to do this and be honest

00:39:22.840 what do i expect from this am i committed to this for the rest of my life is this something i'm doing

00:39:28.800 because it's popular or is this something i'm doing because i'm called to do it do i actually

00:39:34.120 love what it is i'm trying to do and that's an important factor too there's a lot of people who

00:39:38.840 say you don't have to love what you do i disagree i believe that you do have to ultimately love what

00:39:43.680 you do because it's so hard at certain points in time that the love for what you do will be the

00:39:50.120 only thing that pulls you through that process right like there's been a lot of times dude where

00:39:55.260 there's been a number of times i'll just be candid where i've had the ability to sell my entire

00:40:00.020 company and we're not talking about a little bit of money we're talking about money where i never have

00:40:03.620 do shit ever again and what i've thought about during those times is okay well what do i love 0.70

00:40:11.020 well what i love is is i love seeing people change their lives i love seeing people go from a place

00:40:17.220 of confusion and uncomfortableness to a place of confidence and certainty and physical uh you know

00:40:23.280 a better physical state a better mental state i love helping people develop their careers i love

00:40:29.020 seeing people progress and that's not worth money to me you see what i'm saying so we have to like

00:40:34.740 there's all these things that we have to consider when we think about should we do it or should we

00:40:39.460 not and i'll close this question with this very simply there's nothing that any of you can't do

00:40:44.800 it's just what is it are you willing to pay to do it and if the answer isn't i'm willing to do

00:40:50.260 whatever the fuck it takes then you shouldn't do it because that's what it takes i love that man

00:40:54.740 i love it uh well guys andy that was three all right guys appreciate you guys i love you guys

00:41:00.660 go pay the fee

00:41:01.640 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions 0.96

00:41:09.100 in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed 1.00

600. Q&AF： Money Isn't Everything, Loneliness In No Man's Land & Supporting Spouse

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REAL AF with Andy Frisella

600. Q&#x26;AF： Money Isn&#x27;t Everything, Loneliness In No Man&#x27;s Land &#x26; Supporting Spouse

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

600. Q&AF： Money Isn't Everything, Loneliness In No Man's Land & Supporting Spouse