627. Q&AF Ft. Matt Graham & Will Grumke： Inspiring Family, Money Beliefs & Daily Routines
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of the Real AF Podcast, I sit down with Will Grumke from First Form to talk about the 75 Hard Challenge and how he is crushing it in the mental toughness realm. We talk about how he got to where he is now and what he s doing to get there!
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies
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the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we
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have q and af that's where you submit the q's and i give you the afs now if you want your questions
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answered on the show you could submit them a couple different ways the first way is guys email
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those questions into ask andy at andy for seller.com or you can go on youtube and on the q and af episodes
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which air on mondays you can drop your question in the comments and we'll pick some questions from
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there as well now if you're new to the show we have shows within the show this is not just a question
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and answer format podcast uh tomorrow you will hear cti which is cruise the internet you also hear
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that on fridays that's where we put topics up on the screen we talk about what's going on we speculate
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on what's true and what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have an obligation a duty
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to solve these problems going on in the world other times we have real talk real talk is just five to
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20 minutes of me giving you some real talk that usually comes out on uh thursdays and saturdays
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or thursdays or saturdays usually just once a week then we have full length that's typically
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what you get with most podcasts that's an occasional type of deal our friends come in they sit down we
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talk a bunch of shit and then we say we did a podcast and then we have 75 hard verses and 75 hard
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verses is uh where people who have completed the 75 hard program which is the world's most popular
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mental transformation program um come in and talk about what their life was like before and what their
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life was like after and um talk about how you can do the same thing how you can fix your shit so
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75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program it's available for free episode 208 or you
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can go on my website and buy the book on mental toughness and we'll outline the entire program
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the book is unnecessary but the book does contain 10 other chapters on mental toughness that i think
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will be good for you so uh go buy the book um yeah we have this thing called the fee we say pay the fee
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that means share the show you're gonna notice i don't do ads on the show i don't um put myself at
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the mercy of advertisers of what i can and can't say uh because i like to keep it real with you guys
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that's why we call it real af so uh in exchange for me not taking ads on the show i ask very simply that
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you share the show that's what pay the fee means um so if it makes you laugh it makes you think if it
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gives you some practical information which this show definitely will if it makes you better if it
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thinks if you think it's something that needs to be heard please share the show all right so don't
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be a hoe share the show all right what's up man we got full house here yeah we do yeah yeah we got
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will grumke from first form one of my my knee touched yeah is he touching you twice yeah probably
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counting the first yeah and then we also have matt graham who was what's up dude who was just on the
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show on cti on uh on friday yeah so he's still here yeah yeah so i called his uber the motherfucker
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didn't leave that's all right that's all right so what's up man that's you oh me i'm sorry oh i'm
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good man i'm good you know sitting next to like a legend here that is a fact man i don't i'm trying
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to like mimic his body is pretty legendary you know yeah so about will
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well what's going on with you oh man just uh man ramping up what looking yoked hey i'm trying
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trying real hard but uh no we're ramping up the challenge here first form so a lot of efforts
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going into that uh started 75 hard day what is that four or five that we're on right now yeah um
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and uh yeah just excited to get this momentum rolling for 2024 what's the what's the challenge
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we don't talk so i don't talk a lot about what's going on at first form uh on the show as you know
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um but tell everybody about the challenge because this is open to anybody that's doing 75 hard even
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if you've already started 75 hard yeah absolutely and actually there's a lot of people that use
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the app in general first form app in general to track the nutrition part of 75 hard yeah because
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it helps with i mean i think we can all relate you don't know what to do or if the plan is right or
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what my macro should be or like hey i'm moving more than i ever have like how do i make sure i'm
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taking care of myself here so a lot of people use it just 365 that in general but especially with
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right now with the challenge kicking off which is a 300 000 transformation challenge
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that goes over the course of the year but there's four eight week challenges basically one every
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quarter and uh we just you know announced the first one it starts today when this airs on monday
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um you know for people to get involved and a lot of people like you said already started 75 hard
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obviously that's 75 days uh the challenge is 56 so it fits right inside of there and again you know
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if you're taking care of your nutrition you're moving your body you're drinking your water doing
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those things that you're doing with 75 hard you know it's a perfect fit for a lot of people to
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just hey i'm doing this as well as this because inside of the challenge you know you can win cash
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25 000 a couple different ways um other prizes along the way and so it's a good way to just get
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more involved with that community as well and move forward you said that community that's what i
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was going to bring up you know one of the coolest things about our app is the community aspect
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and the community aspect of the challenge we're doing uh something different this time that we've
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never done before talk about that yeah so uh this time we have challenge partners uh which is super
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cool because we've always had a strong community especially when people think that they're putting
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in the work by themselves or you know feeling isolated maybe friends and family don't support
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them cool we got you covered there but this time you can pick one individual that is also in the
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app that is also doing the challenge and be their challenge partner so it's like an added
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accountability to it and out of the gate i mean the thing is just skyrocketing with new excitement of
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like hey i can pick somebody and you know do this like literally do this with them you get a daily
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update of hey did my person do their things or not so you can check in hold each other accountable
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so both of you can push each other to get better so uh it's taken off it's pretty simple again you just
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have to be in the first form app be in the challenge what does the app do tell people what
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the app does because there's so many fitness apps out here i'm not trying to make this a fucking ad
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for first form but fuck it we're already all the way in so um now that we're all the way in we might
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as well stroke a little bit right yeah so yeah what what what what's funny about that nothing
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hey look uh for real though there's a lot of fitness apps out there i believe our app is the best
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i know you do as well um talk about the app a little bit because it is a it's a tool that i
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fail to talk about uh as much as i should because it's very very very useful tool yeah for sure so
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really the whole premise of the app is bringing together you know the different aspects of fitness
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right you got to have nutrition you got to have training you need to have support you need to have
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accountability you need to learn some stuff along the way you know and the app does all of that in
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one spot by simplifying that process to where like it at you know a click of a button you have
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you know a nasm certified personal trainer you have a dietician you have you know someone that
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has a degree in exercise science you have whatever it is and they're able to talk to these people like
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you get an actual human being inside the app yeah so this isn't like some automated computer printed
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out bullshit right real life person i mean literally every message that goes through that is a real
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person that is sending that message yeah in this building yeah and it well we have legionnaires
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that obviously send some messages through there as well because they use it to train their clients
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train their people as well um but it always takes people by surprise like when they get a message
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and then sometimes a video message comes through as well they're like oh shit yeah i think you're a
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real person dude i think i listen you guys hear me talk about how ai is fucking up the world and how
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people don't give a fuck about customer experience that is outside the realm of the values of our
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companies any company that i'm involved in and one of the things i'm most proud of is that is that
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as far as i know we're the only app out there where you can literally get in the app and talk to it
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actual fucking certified human on demand yeah and i think that's uh that's pretty incredible it's
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making me proud you're creating jobs you know like so when you guys use this app understand you know
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yes there's a it's not a free app there's a subscription to it it's easily affordable
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for almost every person in the world and i can promise you the value that you get out of it is
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is exponentially uh more than what we ask for it so yeah and one other thing i'll just say is
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obviously because education is great you know having people that have certifications is great
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however like the real people aspect of it is what makes the difference right because you know the
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advisors those dieticians those trainers those people most of them have gone through you know the
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transformation challenge through the program most of them are doing it while you're doing it exactly
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doing it literally right along and like we are literally pairing up with people through the
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challenge partner thing of like hey no we will take people and help them through this process like
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it's not just you know me talking at you it's me talking with you it's got some ai bot yeah yeah
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let's do this and like you know even if someone didn't start in the transformation challenge and
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become an advisor and that like all right i had a weight loss story the majority of people have a
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weight loss story or a severely underweight story of like hey i struggled to put on muscle and i can
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literally help you do this too so it's you know the experience that backs also that education and
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that's why it's so effective of like when someone's struggling ask the question because we can help you
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right or we can find someone in the ecosystem that can help you and we'll make sure that you have
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what you need well definitely not an ad yeah it was not an ad here yeah hey i'll give you i also tell
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you i saw our video for this uh and you you did the voiceover on it yeah really good job thank you
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it was awesome thank you it's all joe makes me sound good no it's dude it was it was literally
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perfect like it fit the video it it was the perfect like it was perfect it's great so i just want to
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let you know it's will grumpy bro yeah i know everything's perfect you know yeah all right so we do
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this show okay um i got some good ones for you yeah i got some good ones for everybody right yeah
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let's get into these guys andy matt will question number one uh hey andy i changed my path for the
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better and how i eat train and what information i now consume i feel much better about my life and
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i'm really enjoying it i have a family member who's the polar opposite okay 31 years old uh hasn't
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saved a cent in years drinks a lot no consistency terrible friend group uh he lives with me and my
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girlfriend we try to inspire him to be a better version with every way possible and i can't get
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any traction um i know he's down in the dumps constantly uh and we do worry i've tried a loving
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approach a real af approach telling him to man the f up but we get nowhere i thought inspiring him
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what my actions might help but it doesn't you don't want to give up but i'm truly stumped for next
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steps how do you get these people to snap out of their bullshit when they absolutely know they need
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to what do you think bro well to me this is the most probably the most challenging aspect of personal
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development is dealing with people as you're going throughout your journey like the workouts are tough
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you know making money is tough doing all these things is tough but having to deal with the people
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around you that refuse to change is by and large the toughest part um so you know i've dealt with
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this and deal with this you know like but one of the things i'd say is like you can try every single
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approach you want but at the end of the day some people just have to get to a certain place before
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they actually realize it and you can be the best example you can say all the right things in every
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single way that you possibly can and you should like you should try to reach out and and extend
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an olive branch but you can you can only lead a horse to water you can't make them drink so
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maybe the situation is at a point where they just have to hit rock bottom themselves to you know have
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that come to jesus moment and look in the mirror and say you know i have to change and you can't force
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that that's a journey that they have to go on themselves like just like i'm sure this person did
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themselves you know i'm sure they were they might not have been as bad as this individual that lives
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with them but you know at the same time like everybody has that moment everybody has that day
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that moment that fuck what is my life come to moment and everybody has that at different stages and
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different rock bottom looks different for everybody and you know maybe that has to be the
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case where they just have to get to that moment um but i would never stop being the best example
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that you possibly can be and to me that's the most powerful thing that you can do you can you can say
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that this person should do what they should do until they're blue in the face uh but at the end of the
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day you know just be the best example and then let them you know go on their journey and it is a tough
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situation i'd like to hear your guys's input about you know the the living situation of that because
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that can be very sticky that energy can be very sticky of you know somebody being negative and you're
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trying to facilitate a very positive environment you know imagine you know somebody here in this
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building you know with that kind of energy you kick them right the fuck out but it's not as simple
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as that with family it's not as simple as that so how would you guys navigate that yeah i mean i think
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uh to your point it's not as simple right uh however you know i think about me in the beginning
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of my journey i would have definitely let them live there i'd have let them walk all over me
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um but learning to communicate those things and setting boundaries for yourself is one of the best
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things that every individual has to and then also redefining what does family mean to you and also
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what is you know the impact that you're going to allow family to have on your life right because
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again we talk about it like all right you don't get to pick your family right and at times i think
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it's over exaggerated how important like family is in the sense of like loyalty to the family when in
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reality it's like what are the actions of that individual as a human first and for me you know
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i had to redefine that inside of my brain uh because i'll tell you there's family members that i have
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exiled from my life that i won't see them i won't talk to them i don't wish them ill but like the rest of
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my family knows nope they're not invited you know christmas in my house nope they're not invited
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because of the actions that they took that like have i forgiven them sure will i ever speak to them
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again probably not but that's okay in my brain i've redefined what that is for me i'm comfortable
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with it it was hard but i think you have to you know really think through that process so um i can't
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give the exact answer because i think it depends a little bit on the situation and how that individual
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feels but if it's me i'd remove them from my home i wouldn't handle it or i wouldn't deal with it on a
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day-to-day basis that's for sure it's like hey if i can confidently answer i've tried to do everything i
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can to help them within reason and they're not willing to help themselves cool i'm going to invest
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that energy and something else that moves my life forward i think we also have to acknowledge the
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fact that a lot of times people that are in these situations where they're receiving extra help that
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is outside the realm of what we would normally do for people um are actually abusers they're
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manipulators okay they will put guilt on you they will put shame on you they will they will try to make
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you uh continue to do these extra service things take care of them provide for them uh make sure
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they're not out on the street when a lot of times dude getting out on the street is probably what the
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fuck this dude needs okay he needs to get a real dose of reality of what it is to not be a functioning
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human being you know we didn't have these problems with anxiety and depression a hundred years ago because
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if you didn't get up and go do what you were supposed to do you fucking starved okay and that's
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the reality for most of us responsible humans we understand that we take that responsibility on our
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own and so when i hear a situation like this i can see through the manipulation happening because
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maybe i've had it happen and have a little bit more life experience um but this is manipulation bro
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and this guy's sucking your energy you're you're out here being like let me put it to you this way
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how much further and how much faster would you be going if you weren't spending all this time trying
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to lug this motherfucker along okay the truth of the matter is is he's costing you opportunity in
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your life he's costing you opportunity with your girlfriend he could potentially ruin that
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relationship who knows what kind of impact he's actually having because he's not supposed to be
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there and because you're a good person which i understand dude we all have good hearts we all
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understand what the best is but sometimes having a good heart and understanding what's best means
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making a tough decision to literally remove someone from an environment that where they're not
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contributing now this person was trying and they had a job and they were working and they were getting
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back on their feet that's completely different but the reality is is what you describe sounds like
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uh somebody who knows that they have a safety net and is willing to to uh you know exploit that for
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as long as necessary that's what i feel like when i hear that and the reality of it is is it's costing
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you and so you have to make a decision and set a boundary like will said of where's the line for what i'm
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allowed to uh how much i'm going to allow this person to suck away from my potential and um if you were my
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friend i would say to you i would say well i would ask you some questions first obviously and say okay
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is this person trying are they actually doing this are they that or this if the answer is no i tell you
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to kick them out bro and let them learn the lesson you know one of my buddies told me one time you know
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when you stand in the way of karma coming back to people uh which you know making poor decisions
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earlier in life and then having to deal with the repercussions is another form of karma but when you
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stand in the way of karma that has been earned by people you're the one that ends up getting punched
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in the face by it you get that yeah that's right and do you want to step in the front of this guy's
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bad decision making for the last year like two years five years ten years him from changing correct
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he's not happy that's that is what's stopping him a hundred percent he this person is this person
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has not learned that there is a much deeper darker bottom than where they think the fucking bottom is
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to your point matt well in the in the best thing that you can do for this person is to allow them
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to hit that as quickly as possible because the sooner you hit the bottom the sooner you're going
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to bounce back up yeah that's right it's you know like the one thing that rings through my head on
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this because i mean this question is very personal to me right i have an older brother uh and he has a
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drug problem right he's been my brother all my life you know i'm saying but he's been on drugs for i would
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say almost the better half of my life that i've known this man you know and he struggles with it and
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it's like i've had to get to a point where i mean i've done all the helps i've you know done all the
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hospital overdose visits i've done all of that stuff but it's like you get to a point where it's
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like i can't want this more than you want this right um and it's a hard it's a hard decision to
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make man but you know and i'll tell you this like if you're trying to you know you don't want to make
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that decision because you're trying to avoid the hurt that you're going to feel you're going to feel it
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you can't avoid that you know i'm saying but it's like you're staying you are being a crutch for you
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for this person you're being a massive crutch um there's business parallels here too dude like this
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is a direct parallel to at to having employees like those of you who listen who own businesses
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if you free if you reframe this to that employee who was once really good who has now fallen off
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who is now apathetic about their their job and their place and they're there and you're you love this
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person you're like fuck dude this was my dude this was my guy and he's yeah bro and they're and
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they're they're dead in the water and there's nothing you can do to get them to go it is what
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it is and that's that we have to understand where those boundaries are and and dude another way to
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look at this it like how i look at this in business is and i haven't always been great at this there's
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been a lot of people who i've allowed to stay around me way too fucking long after i knew that
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they were in this situation so i can empathize with this person for sure um but you have what
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helped me was reframing how i looked at these situations now when i look at them and i see
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someone who's in that situation who's unwilling to do the work who's unwilling to try who's unwilling
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to put in the time or the effort of energy to be better i i don't look at it like okay i'm i'm
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failing this person i'm actually failing the rest of my team i'm failing the rest of the people that
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show up here every single day and fucking kick ass and want to win okay and so maybe you should
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reframe how you're looking at this and maybe look at it as yourself and your girlfriend and how much
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you're holding that situation back by catering to this guy who's refusing to take responsibility for
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his own existence so you only have so much bandwidth too right like so think about the people that you
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could help the people that would be you know i want to be helped right that want to be helped that
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you could help along and and give them a better opportunity or whatever you know if you had the
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bandwidth to do so you could take the energy that you're giving to this person who doesn't seem to
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care that you're giving them all this energy and give it to somebody who's going to actually take
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it and run yep one thing i'll add just as a a phrase for the business principle uh that you taught
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me a long time ago that's always stuck so it's easy to remember and that is did i fail them or did they
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fail us right and the us part is getting at you know or you really speaks to what you're getting
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at there it's not hey did they fail me right it's not a oh this is a personal thing right hey did i
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fail them as the leader yeah or did they fail us i always go with that i give them the benefit of
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doubt in the first part first yep like when someone starts to fade off and someone starts to like
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like i consider things i'm like okay is this person going through some personal shit or is this person
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sick or is there something what's going on they get did they not get the right instructions yeah
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like i work through the list and then when i get to that point i'm like okay did i fail this person
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are they in the wrong spot what the fuck have i done and then but then like when they then there's
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like a very quick flipping over of the truth which is usually they failed us and that's the reality
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bro and like it sucks because it you know we would all like to keep our friends and family around and
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make them safe and make them but sometimes dude people have to be pushed out the door to realize
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how cold it is on the outside before they decide what to do what it is they need to do to get warm
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it's the only way it works yeah and if you do decide to cut ties with this person just cut ties with
00:22:55.960
them like you like to me at least i just think about like ex-girlfriends right or uh you know when
00:23:00.300
you're like oh just come back over for dinner oh it'll be okay it's like nope it never ends if you
00:23:04.320
make the decision to like remove this person or at least keep your distance whatever that boundary is
00:23:09.040
appropriate at then you need to uphold that decision like absolutely undeniably for a very
00:23:15.680
very long time until it's undeniable that they fix their problem i love my brother to death but i've
00:23:21.120
made that very clear like until there is an undeniable those are my exact words bro like yeah i can't i
00:23:25.900
can't allow it yeah it's super important man yeah super important guys andy question number two
00:23:31.220
hey uh andy are there any beliefs or perspectives around money that you wish you had when you were
00:23:39.340
broke i feel like we've been conditioned to think that money will solve all of our problems yet it
00:23:44.860
seems like many people who are financially free don't make it seem that way i know you talk about
00:23:49.760
how important money is and having it but is there any new perspective that you have now having wealth
00:23:56.260
that you wish you could impart on your younger self man first of all you never hear someone who's
00:24:05.280
got a whole bunch of money saying that it sucks to have a whole bunch of money okay like all your
00:24:11.980
friends and your fucking stupid people in your life that have never had a motherfucking thing
00:24:16.760
telling you that you know money's for evil people or you're immoral because you seek money or all this
00:24:23.420
shit you have to throw all that advice out the window because they have no idea what they're
00:24:27.380
talking about they have no perspective there's not a person in the world that has an abundance of
00:24:33.220
money that says fuck i wish i didn't have this i i wish i wish i wish i had less of this i'll trade my
00:24:39.240
life for that doesn't happen dude now you'll have these people who are rich who have always been
00:24:44.720
rich who were born into wealth who will say stupid things like you know i wish i could just go be a
00:24:51.240
regular person or i wish you know i wasn't born in like because they don't have the perspective of
00:24:56.540
anything else okay but for those of us who have had to eat ramen noodles and do what the fuck we got
00:25:02.620
to do to survive maybe suck a couple dicks right dj all right look for the rest of us
00:25:09.920
hey hey hey twenty dollars twenty dollars all right all right so look if you don't know what
00:25:20.660
twenty dollars about you ain't ever been broke all right but here's the reality man you never hear
00:25:25.500
winners saying shit like this they don't say it because it's not true all right the pursuit of
00:25:30.340
financial freedom is a requirement to fulfill your obligation as an american citizen all right that's
00:25:38.300
why the fuck all these people died bro this is the land of opportunity if you don't go out and pursue
00:25:43.120
success and wealth you're failing that you're failing yourself you're failing your family and
00:25:47.980
you're failing everybody that looks at you as an example of what things could be like if i actually
00:25:52.440
applied myself that's a massive failure of life so it is important for people to recognize that having
00:25:59.900
financial uh resources not only enriches your life but gives you options in life and that's what it's
00:26:06.500
about it's not about loving money to have more money it's not about having money so you can buy
00:26:11.280
more shit it's about having the options to live a life that i choose to live if i wanted to right now
00:26:17.880
do what all these guys on instagram are doing and go get me a fucking van and travel the earth and be in
00:26:23.880
a van for the rest of my life i could and i would never have to work another day in my life they can't
00:26:28.900
do that they can only do that temporarily but they will be the first ones to tell you that somebody like
00:26:33.900
me is fucked up in the head for wanting to pursue financial success well i can do what you love
00:26:39.400
your dream life for as long as i want you can't so you understand there's there's options here and
00:26:46.540
yes there's a responsible way to look at money the pursuit and here's the irony the only way you ever
00:26:54.300
really get money is by trading it for real value okay so like this idea of chasing wealth and making
00:26:59.960
money uh in an immoral way really only applies to the elite elite elite people of society the rest
00:27:06.700
of us who have to work in this modified handicapped version of capitalism that we exist in we have to
00:27:13.980
trade real value for money we have to provide a benefit for money we have to do something that people
00:27:19.700
are willing to pay for it's not like we can just force them to give us the money like the government
00:27:23.800
does okay so we have you the truth of it is is that for you to be successful financially you have
00:27:31.180
to operate on a high moral standard of exchange of value you have to give more value than what that
00:27:36.180
person perceives the money is worth that's how business works so like this whole idea that business
00:27:42.880
people are evil or selfish or whatever it's it's fucking loser talk it's shit that people say when they
00:27:48.960
don't know what the fuck they're talking about and they're too lazy to get the fuck up and actually do
00:27:52.220
something on their own so let's start there your life will be immensely better with more money
00:27:56.440
yeah facts okay now what would i tell my younger self i would tell them that i would say hey dude
00:28:02.160
don't listen to any of these people not only do these people not have anything now they're not
00:28:06.640
going to have anything 20 years from now and they're going to be working a job they hate doing
00:28:10.580
things that they hate because they have to okay well if you stick on your path and you keep going and
00:28:16.640
you ignore everything they say you're going to be in position to do other things that you want
00:28:20.540
but here's the cool thing young buck you're going to love what you do so much that you're not going
00:28:25.480
to give a fuck about the money you're just going to love doing it and the money's going to come in
00:28:28.740
and that's how it actually works for people who understand how business is really built so
00:28:33.980
you know in my opinion i think it's just important for young people not to buy into this mentality that
00:28:40.860
we see so often online which is i am of higher moral character and i am more intelligent and more
00:28:47.820
refined and i am a better person because i do not seek money that is fucking bullshit those people
00:28:54.260
do not seek money because they do not want to get off their fucking ass and do hard things
00:28:58.280
and because they don't do hard things they're never going to have more than what they have now
00:29:02.640
and i promise you when you go find them in 20 years and you get them to tell the truth they're
00:29:07.560
going to say fuck i wish i hadn't fucked away that time okay because those people always end up in a
00:29:12.360
bind later they end up like the first question where the dude's on the couch and they can't get off
00:29:16.940
the couch because they fucking have no ability because they fucked away their 20s and their 30s
00:29:21.960
all right so you have to understand dude money's a great thing it's a great tool it's not the purpose
00:29:28.660
it's not the end all it's not it's not the prize or the pursuit it's a resource that you earn that
00:29:36.280
allows you to live a higher quality of life and that's just reality and then you know if you really
00:29:41.580
want to take it further on your people who think you know that they're better than you when you talk
00:29:45.600
about money um who can help more people the person with no money or the person that can build uh you
00:29:50.880
know school in haiti because i did that you see what i'm saying um who who can help more people
00:29:56.860
the people who go out and serve soup on thanksgiving and christmas or the guy who can stroke a check for
00:30:02.680
10 fucking soup kitchens anytime he fucking wants to and does so every single fucking year
00:30:07.540
who can help more people yeah okay so these people that say these things are full of shit
00:30:13.180
and you need to understand that as a young human being especially in today's cultural environment
00:30:17.920
of the resurgence of hippie culture okay i'm i'm connected to other things motherfucker you're
00:30:24.780
going to be connected to the bread line in 20 fucking years you just don't know it yet
00:30:27.860
okay so what do you guys say at the soup kitchen that i pay for yeah that's what i'm saying like
00:30:33.520
it's just garbage nonsense dude we have to consider the source we have to look at the source of where
00:30:40.420
the information is coming from your aunt paula who fucking has never done a motherfucking thing
00:30:47.520
okay who's always been poor who drives a 1987 rusted out chevrolet cavalier doesn't know a
00:30:53.820
fucking thing about money and you know what she's going to say about people that have money that she
00:30:57.820
doesn't like them you know why because she doesn't have any all right money's a great thing you
00:31:02.020
should be friends with people who have money because those people are actually going to be
00:31:05.080
functional human beings who can actually who will rub off on you in positive ways like dude
00:31:10.640
money is the fucking scorecard of reality it just is all right like it just is now there's other
00:31:17.740
scorecards as well it's not the only scorecard but it is a scorecard how effective of a human are you
00:31:23.100
how many people are you serving how many people are you helping because all of those people are
00:31:27.860
exchanging those things for money so the amount of money you have can become directly proportional to
00:31:34.000
the moral quality of your life if you look at it the right way people just don't because it's easy
00:31:39.880
to hate on people with money when you don't fucking have any and you're surrounded by a bunch of people
00:31:44.000
that never had any and they all hate people with money okay but here's here's where i'll close this
00:31:48.540
topic out and you guys can contribute however you want um if you hate on people with money you're
00:31:55.120
telling the universe that you don't like money and you know what the universe is going to deliver you
00:32:00.000
deliver to you a whole lot of no money all right so be careful what you think when you see people
00:32:05.860
be careful what you say it's not just what you say it's not just your remark you make to your friend
00:32:10.940
it's what you feel and it's what you think in your heart when you see someone win and you start
00:32:15.480
hating on them for winning you're telling the world you're telling the universe you're telling god
00:32:19.620
i don't like winning and that's going to deliver no winning to you so you better be real careful about
00:32:24.720
what you think and what you say about money and make sure it's the truth before you start thinking
00:32:28.420
it and saying it because that's exactly what you're going to end up getting love it man yeah
00:32:32.320
money money and uh power are very similar in that they're both tools right like with a hammer you can
00:32:39.340
either build a building or you can hit somebody in the face with it right and power and money are
00:32:45.320
amoral but we've been conditioned to think that because people have historically done bad things with
00:32:50.660
both of those things that that's the problem with power and money but that's not true people have
00:32:55.400
done equally good things with money people have done equally good things with power and so you
00:33:00.000
should strive to have that tool in your life you should strive for power you should strive for money
00:33:04.240
so that way you being a moral individual that wants to see the world be better can wield it for good
00:33:10.120
dude that's a huge point okay you as if you consider yourself a good person you have a actual
00:33:17.000
responsibility to become as rich as you fucking can because you're the person who needs to be wealthy
00:33:23.660
you're the person who needs to help people you're the person who needs to turn around and take that
00:33:28.300
money and do good things with it yes there are plenty of evil people with money but we need good
00:33:33.040
people with money too so if you fancy yourself a good human being with a good heart and you're not
00:33:37.540
chasing money to go get some money so you can do some good shit you're lying to yourself i mean look
00:33:41.560
at elon musk right now like he's one of the richest men in the world if not the richest and he's
00:33:46.420
wielding his money to try to make the world better and on the other side of that is george soros
00:33:51.880
who's extremely rich as well who decides to destroy society instead so you can choose what you want
00:33:57.940
to be you can either be on the sidelines you know watching the game or you can get in the game and
00:34:02.460
try to be one of the players and you know make history go in your direction that you want it to
00:34:06.520
go in what do you think well i think an important part when you say you know gives you options right
00:34:14.880
something that resonated with me was money gives you the option to prevent the bad right so like so
00:34:22.080
many times people think about oh what can i buy what can i do what can i experience what can i go
00:34:26.360
you know where can i go all these different things however just you know growing up um you know watching
00:34:32.200
my mom battle cancer watching things happen in my life my dad lost everything watching just different
00:34:37.620
scenarios that aren't like the world's worst scenarios in the world but just looking at it my
00:34:42.880
relationship with money became okay i gotta have enough money to where if my family members get
00:34:47.920
sick i can pay for it without a doubt or you know i gotta have enough money that if you know i lose my
00:34:53.880
job or shit happens or whatever the case may be i'm good my family's good because you know something that
00:34:58.960
i always connect with is like okay as a human it is my obligation to protect and provide those you know
00:35:04.520
for those that are around me okay well protect them and being able to have the financial means
00:35:09.640
to do whatever it is that i need to do to survive and be successful and thrive protect them and uh
00:35:15.300
you know and then you know provide for them in the sense of like okay what is that for my family in
00:35:20.280
the future what is that for the people around me you know because otherwise my family's gonna work until
00:35:24.660
they're dead right there is no retirement plan there so it's like okay well if i really truly feel
00:35:30.220
that that's my calling and that's at my core well i gotta have those things right now and on top of that
00:35:35.080
you start actually thinking about and this is where i think a lot of you know because i'm 32 years
00:35:38.640
young i didn't understand money for a long time right but really thinking about what is the cost
00:35:44.040
to live right and what is the cost to live at the level that you want you know even when you think
00:35:48.220
about all right well that nice truck that that guy drives well how much is that you know trucks now
00:35:52.220
80 90 hundred thousand dollars easy right okay well what is that payment every single month right
00:35:57.240
then you know people think about oh well it'd be nice to have this it'd be nice to have that okay
00:36:00.980
we'll start actually looking at the numbers of it and for me at least i start thinking about
00:36:04.900
well if i want those things if i really want that in my life well again i have to build enough value
00:36:09.820
provide enough value to where i can earn the money to be able to afford that right because otherwise if
00:36:15.900
we're just saying hey i want that truck i want that house i want that whatever and you've never looked
00:36:19.900
up the actual price right well then you're never going to be willing to put in the effort to build
00:36:24.880
enough value to afford that price and so for me at least those like two different things of one
00:36:30.340
you know thinking about what it can prevent in your life sickness tragedy things like that or if
00:36:36.320
those things strike you can overcome those more quickly uh but then also like actually what does
00:36:41.440
it cost and if you don't look at those things in my opinion you're lying to yourself on why you should
00:36:46.360
or shouldn't have money i think also dude it's important to note that whatever you think you need
00:36:50.680
like when you design your life and you say all right i want this kind of home i want this kind of cash in
00:36:55.780
my bank account i want this kind of car to drive i want these things i want this kind of life
00:37:00.300
whatever you calculate that amount to be that you need you need to like 10x that amount because that's
00:37:05.580
what you're actually going to need all right and that's going to be the actual amount of work it's
00:37:09.340
going to take to get you where you want to go for a lot of reasons okay we have inflation we have
00:37:14.900
the devaluation of money by the time you're fucking 65 years old your hundred thousand dollars is going
00:37:20.780
to be like a hundred dollars all right you we don't think about these things when we're young
00:37:25.240
so your goals that you set for yourself financially you should like legitimately like will saying
00:37:32.040
figure out what you think you need to earn and then you need to try to earn 10 times that amount
00:37:36.980
that's that's really how it works and um if you try to earn the amount that you know we've all heard
00:37:43.360
the saying you know shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars well if you try to earn
00:37:47.120
the minimum amount that's going to provide your life you're probably going to end up with like 60
00:37:52.380
to 70 percent of that amount in in the end so uh the to add to will's point you know i would take
00:37:59.800
what it is you think you need and i would like 10x that and then i would think about what needs to
00:38:04.840
happen to earn that and then that will put you somewhere you're where you're going to be happy to
00:38:08.540
be long term you know love it like if you're a guy who thinks oh i have a job and i just need to make
00:38:14.220
250 grand a year you need to be saying bro i need to make two and a half million a year
00:38:18.320
how how can i do that and then work like you're going for that and then that will get you on the
00:38:24.180
path to actually being financially uh because you end up at like 800 maybe all right maybe even more
00:38:29.060
maybe you get on that path of providing that crazy value uh and you start you know figuring out
00:38:35.020
how to make even maybe you end up making 25 who knows dude you never know till you're on the path
00:38:40.580
most people just don't get on the path yeah i love that man well guys andy our third and final
00:38:47.780
question question number three what specific tactics or tools do you use to combat procrastination
00:38:56.820
and ensure swift execution in your daily routines
00:39:00.200
well i have this thing that i use called the production pivot all right and what that is is i
00:39:07.100
have trained and first of all if you're not working to build your discipline and your mental
00:39:12.240
toughness you're never going to figure out how to overcome this problem of procrastination but the
00:39:18.540
little hack that i use and that i train myself which takes practice but you can pick it up pretty quick
00:39:24.060
is that when you first start hearing that voice that tells you to take it easy or you've earned a
00:39:33.240
break or you'll do it tomorrow you should train yourself to hear that voice to spring you into
00:39:40.700
productive action right then and there okay that means the minute you start hearing your inner bitch
00:39:46.960
voice start telling you man this can wait till tomorrow or man you had a really hard day you know
00:39:51.900
we'll just pick this up tomorrow or you know what i'm gonna wait the minute you hear that should be
00:39:57.580
an indicator for you to go do that thing and then you should get up and go do it because dude when you
00:40:02.940
become the kind of person who can take that voice of procrastination or that voice of discouragement
00:40:08.740
or that voice of excuse making inside of your brain and you can use that as a trigger to propel you
00:40:15.160
into productive action towards that thing that you're working towards you become an unstoppable human
00:40:21.580
because now you're not only doing things when you feel like doing them but you're also using the
00:40:26.820
negative self-talk that we all have of procrastination or doubt or frustration or anger or pain that comes
00:40:35.500
in the form of a little conversation in the back of your mind saying man fuck this today i'm tired
00:40:40.920
blah blah blah and you get up right there and you go do the thing how can you ever be stopped what can
00:40:45.980
ever stop you okay like you had a bad day that's the reason you should go do the thing oh you got kicked
00:40:52.080
into balls today by work all right well this is where you go do the extra stuff that you're pissed
00:40:57.560
off about doing and do it so well that it benefits you towards what you're trying to do and if you can
00:41:02.920
harness those negative thoughts and emotions and flip them into productive action now you're operating
00:41:09.300
on a different level than most everybody else because most everybody else gives into those things
00:41:13.520
most everybody else caves to those thoughts and those those those negative uh little voices that we have
00:41:19.820
in our head and they stop and uh you know because people can't figure this one little thing out i i
00:41:26.560
think is one of the biggest reasons why people can't be successful what do you think yeah i'd say
00:41:31.460
for me uh daily reflection at the end of the day right because i think it's human nature you know
00:41:37.440
people procrastinate or you work to the deadline or you know you don't have a sense of urgency you have
00:41:41.180
to build those things right and you can strengthen those skills uh but daily reflection at the end of the
00:41:46.420
day for me specifically is on the drive home after work because if you don't want to be someone that
00:41:51.540
procrastinates okay well make that one of your questions right because i always ask like hey
00:41:55.820
what did i do well what could i have improved what am i going to do better tomorrow right three simple
00:42:01.120
questions and at different times in my life in different phases in my career it's it's you know
00:42:05.580
more focused on different areas but if you know that you struggle with procrastination and not taking
00:42:09.840
action it's like okay well did i take action today did i procrastinate today right and i always
00:42:15.600
you know put on my social media like make yourself proud and it comes from that daily reflection
00:42:20.320
because you want to be able to make yourself proud when you have that conversation with yourself and
00:42:25.020
maybe it's you know when you're brushing your teeth or whatever works for you for me it's the
00:42:27.980
drive home from work and it's okay am i proud of how i lived today okay based off of what needed to
00:42:34.220
be done and then also what i'm working on to be better for tomorrow and for my future down the road
00:42:38.720
and so for me it's just you know set it on your calendar put it in your phone as a reminder
00:42:42.860
make it part of your you know daily habits of a little daily reflection ask those three questions
00:42:48.000
and whatever that is for you work to make yourself proud and eventually you'll either be so frustrated
00:42:53.420
that you keep putting things off that you're just like damn it i'm just doing it i'm just you know
00:42:57.320
like to your point of like you got to hit rock bottom well in its own way it's like you're just so
00:43:01.380
you know fed up with your own shit you're like i am doing better tomorrow no matter what and maybe
00:43:07.160
that'll stimulate the action that you need yeah so the way that i sort of frame this conversation
00:43:13.560
is first coming to an understanding of procrastination i think self-awareness is
00:43:17.940
extremely important and knowing yourself and your own the way your mind works is a huge part in you
00:43:24.120
know uh overcoming the tricks that you play on yourself to get you to not do things that are you
00:43:29.440
know conducive to the thing that you want and i think we've all had days where we've been
00:43:35.220
extremely productive and days where we've procrastinated and not done the things that we
00:43:39.020
are supposed to do and let's compare those two days right the first day you did everything you
00:43:45.300
were supposed to do and then you did whatever you want after right and then on the other side of the
00:43:50.380
coin you have the day where you did the thing you wanted to do first and then during the time where
00:43:55.440
you were doing the thing you wanted to do you were stressing about the thing that you were supposed
00:43:59.360
to do in the back of your head so you're not even really enjoying the thing that you want to do
00:44:02.840
right so you're you're you're not even you think you're doing the thing you want to do but really
00:44:07.540
you're just kind of doing it while you're also stressed so you're shooting yourself in the foot
00:44:12.360
both because you're not taking action but also because you're not even enjoying the fun time
00:44:16.280
either so what i would do is what i do which is i write a list of all the things that i would that
00:44:23.300
i need to do the following day i always do it the night before because i make that deal with myself
00:44:27.120
the night before i say okay this is what i need to do to have a successful day it's kind of a
00:44:32.000
spin-off of the powerless i say this is what i need to do once i've done this i can i'm i'm good
00:44:36.960
i did the things i was supposed to do and i do them and i rank them in order from what i want to do
00:44:42.060
the least to what i want to do the most and then i do them and then as soon as i'm done now i have
00:44:47.780
the freedom to actually do the things that you know might be considered unproductive with peace
00:44:53.900
with actual freedom and you're not thinking about oh fuck i gotta do this i gotta do that like
00:44:58.880
oh what time is it you know i got that thing due tonight you know and it just frees yourself it's
00:45:03.420
like jocko says discipline equals freedom if you just do the things you're supposed to do
00:45:07.020
early in the morning get them done and then you can just do whatever you want and you've you've
00:45:12.320
alluded to this in episode 16 in the uh in the audio feed uh in win the day yeah dude look i think
00:45:20.080
this is a big problem with a lot of people's anxiety too you know a lot of people talk about
00:45:24.100
anxiety and both of you guys mentioned it um you know knowing that you're supposed to be doing
00:45:29.900
something and then not doing the thing is going to cause you anxiety that is the reason for anxiety
00:45:36.760
a lot of you guys think i am anxiety no you have anxiety because you know there's a whole bunch of
00:45:44.420
shit that you're supposed to be doing that you're not doing and it's making you feel anxious
00:45:50.100
temporarily and do you know how to overcome that temporary anxiousness take action do the things
00:45:57.040
you know you're supposed to fucking do and you will feel better so i'm glad you guys both hit on
00:46:01.720
that because that is a base level misconception about these people who are talking like if i hear
00:46:08.500
one more person talk about them being fucking having anxiety issues it's like jesus christ dude
00:46:13.460
it's literally just admitting that you don't not only that you don't not only that you've made it your
00:46:18.100
identity now now you've made your identity to try and become someone who never feels stress this is
00:46:24.660
a prop this is the problem i have with all the fucking feel good motherfuckers out here on the
00:46:29.020
internet that are in their feelings and shit they make it their whole identity to be like this zen master
00:46:35.480
fucking weird motherfucker who's going to avoid all the negative feelings in life i'm going to be
00:46:42.460
stress free i'm going to have clear energy i'm going to have zero anxiety and look dude if you're
00:46:49.420
a human being with a pulse those are things that are part of the human experience and if we are to
00:46:55.700
focus all of our life trying to eliminate shit that is part of our human experience we are going to be
00:47:03.380
consistently fucking disappointed and here's the problem with this is that when you focus on removing
00:47:09.620
all the stress or all the anxiety something that is literally impossible that means you're setting
00:47:15.480
out on a path to an absolute 100 certain failure and every single time because the expectation is that
00:47:24.980
you can get to this place that is impossible to get to every single time you feel the anxiety you feel
00:47:31.880
the stress you're going to have an exaggerated response to those things you're going to be extra
00:47:39.240
pissed off you're going to be extra anxious you're going to feel like you're broken because you are trying
00:47:45.840
to eliminate something that cannot be eliminated so you have to start understanding stress anxiety
00:47:53.040
pressure fear these are parts of the human experience that cannot be eliminated no matter how much
00:47:59.840
fucking mushrooms you eat or how much grounding you do or how many journals you write in or how many
00:48:06.140
bowls you fucking meditate with it doesn't fucking matter you are going to feel these things and if you do not
00:48:13.320
understand that and pay attention to what they're trying to tell you you are setting yourself up for
00:48:19.400
legitimate constant frustration and aggravation and you know now you become one of these people who
00:48:26.240
needs to be on all kinds of drugs and go to all kinds of therapy because you think there's something
00:48:31.920
wrong with you and in reality it's just your body telling you physically that there's shit you're
00:48:37.240
supposed to be doing that you're that you know in here you're supposed to do in your fucking gut
00:48:42.620
that you're not doing it's that simple so when you start to feel these things start to ask yourself
00:48:48.760
what was I supposed to do why am I feeling anxious why am I frustrated why am I angry and then address
00:48:55.100
those issues and things go away but trying to eliminate things that cannot be eliminated like imagine
00:49:08.940
okay and you think that like you you heard on the internet that you could eliminate gravity and so
00:49:14.800
you go out every day on your front porch from the fourth step up and you jump off the fucking step thinking that
00:49:20.540
you've eliminated gravity and you hit the ground and every single time you get fucking pissed off and
00:49:25.900
then you write a instagram post about I failed again today I failed I must be broken I'm a I'm a
00:49:32.560
damaged human being I need to go to therapy for my failure to eliminate something that cannot be a lip
00:49:39.860
like it sounds absurd that's what you sound like that's what it sounds like to me like when you talk about
00:49:55.060
went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze