640. Q&AF： Giving Yourself Permission, Becoming Hyper-Focused & Gaining Experience
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of Q&A, I answer a question from a listener about how to become a better version of yourself. I also talk about my recent illness and how to deal with it, and how I plan on dealing with it.
Transcript
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What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realists, say goodbye
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to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking
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Today we have Q and AF, that's where you submit the Q's and we give you the AF's.
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Now you can submit your questions one of a couple different ways.
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The first way is, guys, email your questions in to askandy at andyfasella.com.
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Typically they're personal development, how to win, how to get better, how to make more
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money, how to get better at business, how to get better at life.
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But you can throw some in there about what's going on in the world too, we'll answer some
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But you can also submit those questions by just dropping some of your questions in the
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Other times you tune in, we have CTI, that stands for Cruise the Internet, that's where
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Other times we have Real Talk, Real Talk is 5 to 20 minutes from me just giving you some
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And then we have 75 Hard Versus, that's where somebody who's completed the 75 Hard Program,
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which is the initial phase of the Live Hard Program, comes on and talks about how their
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life was before 75 Hard, how it is after and how you can use the 75 Hard Program to change
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Now you can get the 75 Hard Program for free at episode 208 on the audio feed.
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There's also a book called The Book on Mental Toughness, it's on my website.
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You can buy that book and I think you'll enjoy it.
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It has a number of other chapters besides just the Live Hard Program.
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It's a very comprehensive book on mental toughness, why it matters, how you can use it, and how
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you can make your life better using the concepts of mental toughness.
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But it's not necessary, you can get the program for free at episode 208.
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We do have this thing for the show called The Fee.
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We get censored quite a bit, guys, especially on YouTube, and they're doing it especially
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I guess it's because of election season, I don't know what's going on, but they've already
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lost the culture war, so I don't know why they're censoring.
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It just makes them look stupid, but they are doing it, and we rely on you to share the show.
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So, if you could please do us a solid, if you get good information out of the show,
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if you get value out of the show, if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, gives you
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a new perspective, if you think it's a valuable way to spend your time, do us a solid and share
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And then also, don't forget to click subscribe.
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You know, a lot of people right now are already kind of falling off their program.
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I've been sick as a dog for the last week and a half.
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It started off as the flu, and it's turned into something else.
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I'm not sure exactly what it is, but we're working with the doctors to get through it.
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It's been a big pain in my ass, but yeah, that's what's going on with me.
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I'm just trying to keep these shows going for you guys, and then after the show, I go
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Andy, what's the biggest misunderstanding when it comes to seeking advice from other
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people and giving yourself permission to just go and execute?
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A lot of people get really caught up in taking advice, and unfortunately, they're not very
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good at understanding who has good advice and who doesn't.
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If you scroll through Instagram right now, it's actually kind of disgusting, honestly,
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It's every single person out here with a fucking cell phone building some sort of personal
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brand around giving advice when in reality, 99% of these people are struggling.
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They are just trying to build something for themselves through the distribution of content,
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So I guess what these people think is that if I sound credible, I'll get a following, and
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And that's incredibly dangerous for a lot of people, especially people who don't really
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Because when you're in the beginning of the journey, it's impossible to tell who's giving
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So right now, we're inundated with so many people that just want to talk for the sake
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of likes, shares, and views, and comments, when in reality, dude, the advice that they
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give, and I can tell you this for a fact, a lot of it is just dog shit advice.
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The other shit is like shit that everybody else is saying.
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Yeah, it's either just carbon copy of what a few select known people are, which I'm one
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Yeah, and it sucks, dude, because in the beginning of my entrepreneurship journey, yeah, we didn't
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And yes, we couldn't learn from people who had done things outside of picking up a book
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Like, I would read a book about Sam Walton, or I'd read Tony Robbins stuff, right?
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But it was almost easier having only that, because you weren't inundated with so much
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You didn't have every Tom, Dick, and Harry on the internet pretending like they're some
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sort of uber successful, kick-ass entrepreneur, when in reality, bro, they're living in a fucking
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And sometimes they don't even have a business, you know?
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So we have to be, you know, for me, when I was young, that was actually a blessing, because
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like, dude, I had no way to be confused, if that makes sense, right?
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And there's too many fucking knuckleheads who don't know what they're doing, who have
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not done anything, giving advice irresponsibly on the internet.
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And there's people, by no fault of their own, that listen to this advice because they don't
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Like, when you're first starting out, and you're like, fuck, dude, I think I want to
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So, you know, if people can flash some cool stuff or, you know, show a car or a watch,
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you know, that's $50,000 or $200,000 on a fucking, you know, dude, that's unobtainable
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It's like, well, fuck, dude, if they've got a $250,000 RM on, then they got to know
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So, we have to be honest and be skeptical about who's actually done things.
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I talked about this on that podcast I did with Ed Milet last week, which was amazing,
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If you haven't caught that, you should go listen to that interview with Ed and I.
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But we talk about this, you know, it's important to vet who you're going to take advice from.
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You need to ask real questions and you need to ask, you need to make sure these people
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aren't just making this shit up, you know, ask questions like, what businesses do they
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You know, a lot of these people talk about these businesses and in reality, you know,
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And, you know, they're calling themselves a CEO.
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You know, and the truth of the matter is someone who's credible, dude, all those questions
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Like, you're going to be able to know what these people do and you're going to be able
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And people who have done real things, they don't mind sharing what they've done.
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You know, so I think it's just very important to.
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To seek advice from people who have done things, people who have been around for a long
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And be smart about where you get your advice at the very least.
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And then, you know, on top of that, you could get as much advice as you want.
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But if you never cross the chasm from taking the advice in and actually going to execute,
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And I actually think the execution is far more important than the advice you get anyway,
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because most of the things that you're going to learn, you're going to learn from experience.
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And you're going to acquire skills through that process of continuing to go and then
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fall down and then learn what caused you to fall down and then, you know, approach that
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same obstacle again with the skill set that you've already learned from falling down.
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So, you know, the experience of going is highly underrated.
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Everybody wants to know everything before they go.
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But the reality is, is most of the things that you're really going to know are going to come
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So my advice is, you know, get get a basic idea of what to do.
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And guys, if you want, go back and listen to the first 300 episodes of on my audio feed.
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It's that it was it's 300 episodes of pure 330 episodes of pure entrepreneurial knowledge
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that you need to develop every fucking skill that you possibly need is free.
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You don't need to pay all these motherfuckers to learn this shit.
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And I can promise you, anybody that you're paying out there, I've done more shit than
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Like, what what is the hang up where people want to be told what the lesson is before they
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Because they're afraid of making mistakes, dude.
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But that's not realistic to be able to just go through any journey with unblemished and
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Like, no, most people don't ever win, bro, or don't ever go because they don't because
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they are afraid that they're going to fall down and look stupid in front of their friends,
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And there's a tremendous amount of social pressure now with the Internet where nobody
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You know, when I fucking fell and I sucked, not everybody was watching.
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Yeah, but you have to understand that in order to build something real, in order to
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build something that you're going to be proud of, that's going to, you know, provide the
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level of lifestyle that you want for yourself, looking stupid in front of other people is
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You're going to look stupid a million times along the way.
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There are times I'm 25 years in my official entrepreneurship journey, bro, I make mistakes
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all the time and I end up looking stupid all the time.
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I don't fucking care because I know that if I look stupid, I'm looking stupid in front
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of a bunch of people who are afraid to even try.
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OK, and so most people give up their dreams and they give up all of the things that they
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think they want for themselves because they're afraid to step out and do things in front of
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So you're telling me you're going to give up your entire life, your entire dreams, everything
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you've ever wanted for yourself, because the opinions of people who are never going to do
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a motherfucking thing in their entire life matter to you.
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These people are going to do the same shit they've been doing now, next year, five years
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And anybody who's been in the game long enough can tell you that.
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So most people just opt out of the game for fear of the opinions of people who end up being
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You know, most people also do this thing where they talk about the haters and this and the
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Most of you sit there and you don't go because you're afraid to go because of what people might
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It's what you're imagining in your brain, what people might say if you do this or if
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That makes you your own biggest obstacle that you need to overcome to even go.
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So when people sit here and they don't go because they're afraid of the opinions of others,
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they're actually afraid of the made up opinions that they've made up of others that what others
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And that's pretty fucked up if you really break that down.
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So, bro, you know, my answer to the question is this.
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You have to be willing to do that because if you're not willing to do that, there's no
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You could be the guy who recites all the statistics and knows all the stuff and knows all the lessons
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and sounds real good saying it with nothing to show for it because you never fucking went.
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Andy, how do you retrain yourself to become hyper focused and intentional with wherever
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How do you really focus in on the task at hand?
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Well, I mean, look, dude, we live in a day where we're hyper distracted.
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And this is scientifically proven is less than it's ever been.
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People are making content that's four seconds long and getting 20 million views on YouTube
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Short form content that is mindless, that trains us not to be able to pay attention.
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When was the last time you all were able to watch a movie from start to finish?
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It's very difficult for people to do now because, dude, they can't do it without picking up
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their phone or looking at stuff on the Internet like people are.
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People have become these very highly distracted beings, which is a huge disadvantage.
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So you have to put yourself in an environment where you can be intentful.
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That means you got to put your phone away, maybe put it in the other room, maybe put it
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in another fucking building, whatever the fuck you got to do.
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And you got to sit there and do dedicated work.
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And someone who can sit down and do dedicated work has a massive advantage over everybody else
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It used to be back in the day there weren't these distractions.
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So you're competing against a bunch of people who all were dedicated and all had the intent
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to execute on whatever it is they were working at, which produced a ton of great work.
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And right now you don't have that anymore because of the nature of everybody's lives
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So the first thing is get yourself in a position to concentrate without the distractions of technology.
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Uh, secondly, you have to realize that work done with the proper intent is a totally different
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And there are two kinds of people in this world and one kind of person gets paid real
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And they can, and they appear to be doing the same things.
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People who actually work on their work with the outcome and the intent in mind as they
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work on it, produce much higher quality work are much more revered and valuable inside of
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an organization than the people who just check boxes.
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But what ends up happening is they can't figure out why their work is always mediocre.
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Why the other guy's beating them or why the other guy's getting the promotion or why the
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other guy's businesses is doing better than theirs.
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Do you do it with the highest possible standards when you're shooting content or you're making
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Is it the coolest fucking thing that you've ever done that you've ever seen?
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Or is it just some shit you're doing to throw out there?
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Like, dude, I see all these people now who want to be content creators and they're just
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putting out mediocre shit after mediocre shit after mediocre shit.
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And we have to be honest with ourselves about the quality of your fucking work.
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Am I doing this because I want likes, clicks, and views, and shares for me?
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Because I want to be famous and I want to have a following?
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Am I trying to entertain them in a way that is super entertaining?
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You know, just doing shit for the sake of doing it is never a winning strategy.
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That goes for being an entrepreneur inside of a business.
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Like, if you're not getting paid and you're undervalued, there's a good chance that you're
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You're probably doing mediocre work that lacks intent.
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You're not remembering that you're not doing this for you.
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You know, when I was in business, my first 10 years in business, I fucking sucked.
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I made $58,380 my first 10 years in business combined.
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My intent in running the business was, I want to make money.
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I want to sell these people as many products as I can.
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And you know what happened that whole entire time?
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We were going to close the business and I was going to go start cleaning carpets.
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And on the carpet cleaning training, I threw my back out.
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And I was having these conversations with Chris about how to unwind the business
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and how to, you know, move on from where we were.
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And he was going to go join Officer Candidate School and become a pilot.
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And I was going to start this carpet cleaning business.
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And we were talking and we were kind of like talking about what we did like about the business.
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We got into this conversation about what we liked about what we did.
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And one of the things that happened to us along the way is because we were so slow
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and because we didn't have much business, every once in a while,
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we would talk to someone for two or three hours that came in the store for no other reason
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than we just didn't have anybody else to talk to.
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And so during that conversation, we would go very thoroughly through their fitness program
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And this person, occasionally, a couple times a year, these people would leave
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and they would come back months later and they would be down 100 pounds
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And they'd be crying and they'd be giving us a big hug saying,
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And Chris and I both agreed that that was like the coolest thing about our business.
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And so we decided, you know, hey, man, you know what?
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Maybe we won't just go out and do these other things.
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But instead of trying to sell as much shit as possible,
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And what happened was our business grew 100% five years in a fucking row.
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Because people understood that we were there to help them.
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And because we focused on them and our intent right was on them,
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Whatever it is that you do in your business, in your content creation,
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realize and keep in mind you're doing it for someone else.
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You're doing it for a reason that is not selfish for you.
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And if you do it with the right intent well enough and long enough,
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you will get what comes with that, which is the money.
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You don't just get it because you have a business.
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It is what people trade you for the value that you provide.
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And when you provide value with the right kind of intent,
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And that's a fundamental reality of anybody's business that's out there.
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So I know that's taking intent to a different direction than what the question was asked,
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but I think it's relevant to what we're talking about.
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Well, no, I think it's perfectly real because you're explaining why it's so fucking important.
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Well, I mean, look, dude, here's the bottom line.
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Put yourself in a place where you're not distracted by technology
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and get to work with the idea in mind that whatever I'm working on
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Are there these girls on the internet that show their ass and their titties
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So we're talking about a fundamental mentality long term.
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Right now, the internet is very favorable to mindless content.
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If you go on YouTube, I can tell you for sure, YouTube 100% promotes mindless content.
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If you look at the short form content that gets 35, 40 million views,
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So you have to understand the internet right now is built for entertainment.
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But business, a real business is built to serve with impact and education
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for the most part, unless you're in an entertainment business.
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But the point is, is that when you're trying to build something,
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whatever it is you're building, you have to keep that end customer in mind.
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What is this person going to get out of consuming this?
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What is this person going to get out of reading this or watching this?
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What is this person going to get when they buy this?
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And are they going to, is this going to provide enough value where
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not only are they thrilled, but they're thrilled enough to tell their friends.
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And that's going to come from you focusing on what you can do for them,
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not what you're going to get out of the process.
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Guys, Andy, our third and final question, question number three.
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Hey, Andy, I've been blessed with the opportunity to establish a construction
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and development company and be trained by my business partner,
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He has 50 plus years experience in this business,
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and every day is a learning experience, especially the dick kickings.
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Now, I know the only way to gain 50 years of experience is to do this shit for 50 years,
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but I find myself struggling to keep up with my mentor's pace in accomplishing goals.
00:23:10.880
Tasks get done, but not as fast as I would like.
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And I find myself reacting to the daily fires more than being able to focus on the growth
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opportunities when we get presented with early mornings and late nights, a regular thing.
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We've been in business a little over a year, and this is my first real foray into entrepreneurship.
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The day you enter entrepreneurship, the day regular life ceases to exist.
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This idea that you're going to show up at nine and leave at five and you're going to have
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And this pace that you're having to keep up with, that's the pace of a person who's been
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doing something for so long that it's become easy for them to do.
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Now, is it going to be easier for you to get to that point?
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If you want to win in entrepreneurship, that's what it takes.
00:24:12.040
It takes everything you fucking got because there's other people out there
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that have skill sets that are stronger than yours that are giving everything that they
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And people think they can compete in this world because it's popular on the internet
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And it was fucking $900 in this one program that taught me everything I know.
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This is going to take everything you got and the pace at which you are being thrown into
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And you should welcome, you should welcome this uncomfortableness because what it's doing
00:24:50.480
is it's conditioning you to become acclimated to the pace that you're going to have to run
00:24:54.100
at your whole life if you want to be successful.
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This is why I say all the time, it's not for everybody.
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It's a very hard, very brutal, very time consuming path.
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And people who aren't fucking loose and they blame it on everybody else.
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Oh, the market was bad or this was bad or that was bad or this, this.
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And what's required is full fucking commitment because you're competing against a bunch of
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What makes you think you're so fucking good that you can operate and compete with people
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who are giving 10 times the amount of effort as you?
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So my answer to you is you're getting a taste of what it's really like and you should welcome
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and appreciate the fact that your mentor is showing you this because you're going to be
00:25:44.860
able to acclimate to that much faster than everybody else who's in the same place as you.
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Because what you're really competing with and when it comes to entrepreneurship is you're
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not competing with the guys like me who've been doing it for 20 plus years, 25 years.
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But what you are competing with is the guys who've been doing it one year or two years.
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Instead of looking at it like I'm competing with all the big dogs or I'm competing with
00:26:12.280
these guys who've been doing it for 50, 25 years.
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Start looking at it like, okay, who am I competing with?
00:26:17.960
Oh, I'm competing with the guys who've been doing it the same amount of time as me.
00:26:22.020
And so because you're with this mentor and he's pulling your pace up to a 50 year pace
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and probably the next three years, bro, you're at a tremendous advantage over all the people
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that you're actually competing with that are in that one to three year bracket.
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And I would try to acclimate to the pace as much as possible without driving yourself fucking
00:26:47.360
This is, I feel like this is an interesting talk because I've never really heard you speak
00:26:52.540
Like, and it's making me think like, I remember when I was in high school playing high school
00:26:55.800
football, I got recruited to go to D2, play D2 football.
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I couldn't imagine D1 or then you look at like the NFL.
00:27:08.880
What is that pace of business you're talking about?
00:27:10.720
Well, look, man, when you start out, you know, you're not doing a whole bunch of stuff.
00:27:16.180
Like you feel like you are because before you started, you weren't doing much.
00:27:19.460
But once you start, you start to do all these things that you weren't doing before and it
00:27:23.440
But what you don't realize is that the further you go in business, the more that becomes,
00:27:32.980
Like one of the comments that I get consistently when people watch the day, the first day in
00:27:39.060
the life episode that we did was like, God dang, dude, you're a busy motherfucker.
00:27:42.540
And I'm like, I'm just thinking in my head, I'm like, this is just normal day, bro.
00:27:46.160
Like, in fact, you're not even show, we didn't even show in that fucking video, like my meetings
00:27:54.680
So like I, and you know this because we're together all the time, but like, and I'm not
00:27:59.320
saying this to flex on people, but like, bro, most people couldn't fucking hang with me,
00:28:03.120
Like I wake up, I fucking go hard as fuck until I'm fucking exhausted and then I go to bed.
00:28:09.560
And most people can't do that because they built in these ideas in their brain about what
00:28:17.000
an acceptable amount of work is or what the acceptable pace is, right?
00:28:20.780
They've been told seven and a half, eight hours a day of work, which in reality, does anybody
00:28:25.020
actually work eight hours or do they work fucking one or two hours within eight hours?
00:28:30.640
And a real competitive entrepreneur has to work and be productive that entire time.
00:28:36.240
So you go from, you know, basically not understanding any of this to, you know, being overwhelmed
00:28:44.980
and beginning and, and, and dude, it's kind of like getting in a, it's like getting in
00:28:50.020
You know, the first time you get in the cold plunge, you're freaking the fuck out, bro.
00:28:55.560
And then after a few days, it gets a little easier.
00:28:57.760
After a few weeks, it gets, it's still a little bit uncomfortable, but it's pretty easy.
00:29:01.680
And then after you've been doing it for a few months, you can kind of get right in, even
00:29:05.320
though in a normal person, it'll fucking, it would, it would crush them, right?
00:29:09.300
That's what it's like adapting to the pace of being an entrepreneur.
00:29:12.340
You, the longer you do it, the easier it gets, but not because it gets easier, but just
00:29:17.520
And that's how, how I describe, uh, the process.
00:29:20.880
And, you know, you could only get acclimated to it by exposing yourself to it.
00:29:24.360
And not everybody has a mentor that's been doing something for 50 years that understands
00:29:28.720
So I think whoever wrote this question is in a really favorable position over their
00:29:34.240
competition by even having somebody that they can be around to witness that because
00:29:44.080
Is there anything that he should be, uh, I guess not, not cautious of, right?
00:29:49.720
But when you do have a guy that's in the business that has been doing it 50 years, is there anything
00:29:53.700
that he should just like, Hey, just keep this in mind?
00:29:57.540
Um, a lot of times, a lot of these older guys, you know, here, here's where you take the
00:30:06.280
They understand things like building relationship and serving a customer and providing value and bottom
00:30:13.680
of the funnel, I would say foundational principles for building a tremendous business.
00:30:18.640
They understand fucking way better than any of these young people, but some of these young
00:30:24.020
people understand how to get attention or how to build a funnel or how to get leads better
00:30:30.900
So, you know, you have to, you have, you have to take what they say very serious, but you
00:30:37.340
also have to understand that technology kind of changed the game on how entrepreneurship
00:30:43.900
Sort of, uh, the X's and O's are slightly different.
00:30:47.640
It's a different technology, not a different concept.
00:30:51.000
So you have to be very good at listening to what these guys are saying and then kind
00:30:55.700
of like thinking about it and computing it into your brain as to how to apply into what's
00:31:02.280
Dude, that was the first thing I thought, okay, he's been in a 50, 70 years old at least,
00:31:06.280
but like, the motherfucker ain't got no TikTok.
00:31:10.420
So like, and he may understand what TikTok, maybe fuck, maybe he's got a big TikTok.
00:31:14.980
But my point is, is that we have to recognize that the concepts are always the same.
00:31:23.800
I think what makes me a formidable entrepreneur is that I operated for a long time without
00:31:29.540
social media and the internet, you know, and I'm still young.
00:31:32.120
I was like right in that sweet spot of age range where I was young enough to still be young
00:31:41.200
when technology came around, but I had that good eight, 10 years ahead where the internet
00:31:49.740
So I was able to learn the real fundamentals and that handicaps a lot of the young bucks
00:31:55.220
Like a lot of the young guys that are coming up right now, they, they're all about lead
00:31:59.240
generation and they don't understand how to fucking actually keep customers and how to
00:32:03.240
get them to stay with your brand over longterm.
00:32:06.380
And this is why we see so many people creating basically, you know, cashflow businesses, not
00:32:12.240
actual brands and, um, you know, to create a real brand and which is what you should do
00:32:18.640
because that brand is going to have brand equity and a value on the backside of your
00:32:23.220
If you're creating a cashflow business where, Oh, I'm making X.
00:32:27.000
If you hear, if you listen to some of these young guys, all they ever talk about is I'm
00:32:36.820
Like I'm making X amount a month, but I'm also building a whole bunch of things that
00:32:43.640
That's why that's the power of building a brand.
00:32:45.360
And that's why I tell you young guys, you guys should be alert.
00:32:49.380
Utilize your skillset for creating funnels and getting leads.
00:32:53.080
But understand how to put them into a brand so that you're building brand equity over time.
00:32:57.040
And then whenever you decide that that journey is over, you have something to fall back
00:33:00.760
And you're not just, uh, you know, a slave to your lifestyle because all you've ever
00:33:04.880
worked for is cashflow, which is a problem that a lot of people get into.
00:33:13.200
You know, you guys who are, who are out here right now, you got more opportunity than anybody
00:33:16.680
ever considering that the world doesn't burn down and fall apart.
00:33:23.860
A lot of people, you know, a lot of you guys get frustrated because, you know, uh, I don't
00:33:30.320
do strictly personal development, but the reason that I don't do strictly personal development,
00:33:34.360
the reason I talk about CTI is because, uh, one, like I said, the internet is for entertainment
00:33:40.460
Uh, but two, you have to know what you have to do as your obligation, as a citizen, in order
00:33:47.580
You know, a lot of these guys, these influencers out here who are just talking about money, money,
00:33:51.400
money, money, money, money, money, they're not understanding that the environment can
00:33:54.860
change very quick to where their, their little schemes and skills don't matter at all.
00:33:59.240
And we're not that far away from that in America.
00:34:01.180
So whether you listen to our show, CTI, or whether you stay up with current events with
00:34:05.640
someone else, uh, which I can promise you won't be as fun, but, uh, those, those other
00:34:15.420
Um, you have to be aware of what's going on in the world and you have to be socially cognizant
00:34:20.720
and you can't be delusional and buying into, you know, the left narrative or the right
00:34:25.800
You got to see things for what they are in reality without bias.
00:34:29.000
If you want to be effective in entrepreneurship and, and, and do your duty as a citizen to
00:34:33.600
make sure that we maintain the fertile soil that we've always had, which is quickly dissipating.
00:34:39.520
So some, all you young guys who are just out here in business, man, you guys need to get
00:34:45.140
Otherwise you're not going to have the ability to grow these businesses.