REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 650. Q&AF： Leading Team Meetings, Winning In Life & Having "Fun" At Work

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the real let's say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.140 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:26.520 have a special midweek edition of q and a f all right that's where you submit the questions and

00:00:32.760 we give you the answers now you could submit your questions a couple different ways the first way is

00:00:38.560 guys email those questions into ask andy at andy for seller.com or you go on youtube on the q and a

00:00:44.960 f episodes which typically are on mondays but sometimes we throw them out here in the middle

00:00:48.720 of the week as of late you drop your question in the comment section we'll pick some from there as

00:00:53.980 well we'll answer it right here on the show now this is your first time listening we do have

00:00:59.000 multiple formats of the show we like to say shows within the show all right sometimes we have q and

00:01:04.560 a f that's what you're going to get today other times you have cti that stands for cruise the

00:01:09.120 internet that's where we talk about what's going on in the world we throw some headlines up on the

00:01:13.040 screen we speculate on what's true and what's not true and then we talk about how we the people need

00:01:17.380 to solve these problems going on in the world other times we have real talk real talk is just five to

00:01:22.180 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk some things i think you need to hear and then we have

00:01:27.100 75 hard verses and that's where somebody who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show

00:01:32.920 talks about how they were before how they are now how the 75 hard program has helped them get their

00:01:39.220 shit together and how it can for you as well too if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the initial

00:01:44.920 phase of the live hard program it is available for free at episode 208 on the audio feeds

00:01:51.620 it is not on youtube we just started youtube about a year ago so uh that episode is only on audio and

00:01:57.960 you get the whole program there for free 75 hard is not a challenge it is not a trend it is not some

00:02:04.280 internet bullshit it is the world's most popular in history mental recalibration program that will help

00:02:11.020 you figure out how to get your life online and on track um there is a book about this there's actually

00:02:18.900 two books there's a book called 75 hard and then there's a book called the book on mental toughness

00:02:22.940 i would buy the book on mental toughness but it includes the entire 75 hard book on the inside plus

00:02:29.140 uh the following phases of live hard and also 10 plus chapters on mental toughness and case studies

00:02:37.800 on some real world examples about how they use mental toughness to build incredible lives these are people

00:02:43.040 that you guys have heard of so uh get the program for free episode 208 you can buy the book at andy

00:02:48.700 for seller.com it's called uh the book on mental toughness is not required but it's a great book and

00:02:52.960 i know you'll love it so other than that you'll notice we don't run ads on the show i don't take

00:02:57.820 money from people that are going to tell me what i can and can't say on the show the show is called

00:03:01.400 real af it's not called listen to these sponsors af i don't give a fuck what they say or what they think

00:03:06.340 and so i don't take their money and i ask very simply in return for that that you uh support us

00:03:11.460 buy my shit uh and share the show we have this thing called pay the fee and the fee is very simple

00:03:17.400 by the way i pass on eight figures a year on advertising just so we're clear this is not like

00:03:22.480 a little money it's a lot of money that i pass on so you guys supporting me in return really means a

00:03:27.960 lot to us what i ask in return is very simple just please share the show okay we get throttled we

00:03:33.200 get traffic censored uh shadow ban whatever you want to call it especially when we do our cti episodes

00:03:38.600 across the internet so the message doesn't get out unless you guys share it and you guys normally do

00:03:43.900 a pretty good job of doing this but there's a lot of you guys that listen and don't participate in

00:03:47.420 this part of the show you consume you consume you consume and you don't share and uh that's not the

00:03:52.140 deal we have here so the deal is if it makes you think it makes you laugh if it's good information

00:03:56.840 if it's something that you think people need to hear please share the show all right don't be a hoe

00:04:02.260 share the show all right what's up will you be mine oh yeah it's valentine's day it's also

00:04:08.420 more importantly madat's 30th birthday happy birthday bro thank you what are you going to do

00:04:16.500 for your birthday uh jiu-jitsu jiu-jitsu what were you going to say dj roll around with a bunch of

00:04:22.540 dudes on his 30th birthday hey man winners get better they don't give a shit if it's their birthday or

00:04:26.720 not yeah i like it happy birthday bro thank you thank you yeah that's a big deal what are you

00:04:33.280 laughing at you jealous you don't get to roll around that's what it is see he's just hating bro

00:04:38.860 because he wishes it was him how many birthdays is this in america now uh 20 is it like more than

00:04:45.540 like more than 28 28 oh shit i thought you were i didn't know you were here that long

00:04:50.360 what okay do the show man holy shit no happy birthday madat love you bro um what's up with you man

00:05:04.020 what's going on with you we've been busy it's yeah we're getting a lot of shit done yeah a lot

00:05:08.220 projects coming coming to fruition here shortly yeah yeah got uh what's up what's up the sleeve

00:05:16.080 there besides those guns yeah tune into the show for terrible jokes that's what we're gonna start

00:05:24.500 advertising we're the antithesis of comedy here okay we tell all the shitty jokes that was a good

00:05:29.880 word oh it was okay that's a good word we'll let the people decide yeah um yeah man look just been

00:05:36.120 busy man building building companies doing things you know building out first form into the next

00:05:42.300 great american iconic brand with the support of these wonderful people that listen to the show

00:05:46.820 uh doing a whole bunch of other stuff that we got going on we might have a new podcast launching soon

00:05:54.520 called the msco project you might have heard of it only been trying to relaunch this for a year and a

00:05:59.960 half but we got that coming down the pipe i think that's that's something that's important to talk

00:06:04.120 about though i mean people you know when you talk about launching something especially something

00:06:08.220 that is going to provide as much value as it is that shit takes time yeah like you want to make

00:06:12.240 sure that it's right you know just jumping into things that's not sure that's how you do it it's

00:06:16.280 important you guys understand this podcast will not be on itunes it will be uh on a private server

00:06:21.580 so keep an eye out for my stories on instagram keep an eye out for what we got going on the show

00:06:26.740 because it's not just going to launch on this youtube channel or this feed uh it's going to be

00:06:30.820 kept on a whole new feed and you'll you'll understand why when i explain it to you but uh

00:06:35.340 we got that coming down the pipe that's exciting um yeah man energy drinks rolling out good

00:06:42.100 picking up accounts every day things are going well people love it off to a good year yeah it's been

00:06:46.920 good man it's a good start it's been good so far yeah i'm just got to keep keep moving well let's

00:06:51.340 keep making people better yeah you take a little sip yeah you guys who uh are interested in the msco

00:06:56.000 project seriously make sure because i'm not going to announce it in public it's going to be through

00:07:00.220 my email list i must say is going like yeah so if you're not registered to my email list if you don't

00:07:04.540 get andy grams like if you don't go you should go to my website go to the andy gram register on that

00:07:09.900 list and you'll get the email about when it launches so um make sure you guys do that yeah

00:07:14.120 that's what we're doing andy gram is like a lot of people are like well dude you should get back to

00:07:18.480 posting again well yeah dude i do post every single day that's what you forget i post every single day

00:07:24.280 on my andy gram it comes to your email directly to your email all right and the reason i did that

00:07:29.100 is because i get fucked with almost more than anybody on the internet and quite honestly i was

00:07:34.320 scared they're going to delete my entire account my whole following and i wouldn't have shit so i

00:07:38.820 started that specifically so that i could keep in contact with you if they deleted my shit so i took

00:07:43.740 my post from instagram i put them into an email list and a blog uh fuck four years ago and we've been

00:07:50.760 doing it that way yeah so andy grams are fire yeah well it's a nice people should subscribe if

00:07:55.620 you guys want to read my shit and what i write and what i think that's a great way to get it plus

00:07:59.880 we always stay in contact no matter what these guys on social media do to us so uh if you're not

00:08:04.500 registered there and you're not on that list you're not going to know when the new podcast launches

00:08:08.660 because that's where it's going to get launched at yeah through my email i love it man so sweet well

00:08:13.020 let's get some people better here man i got three good ones for you cool guys andy question number

00:08:18.740 one hey andy i have recently been promoted to assistant manager in my workplace this is coming

00:08:25.660 with a few more responsibilities including holding monthly meetings with our small group of employees

00:08:30.940 i'm struggling with these meetings i tend to freeze up and just completely forget all i had planned

00:08:36.660 i'm lucky to have a manager that is working with me and help me through the first meeting i want to

00:08:41.980 succeed in this role and eventually move into a sales position what advice do you have to get better

00:08:47.360 for speaking to groups reps man it's reps okay nobody's born with this skill of holding a great

00:08:54.840 meeting or being a great speaker or going up there and just you know delivering a message in the way

00:09:00.800 that it needs to be delivered from the get-go that's not a real thing i've never seen anybody be able

00:09:06.240 to do that ever now are some people a little bit better naturally than others sure but usually

00:09:12.080 that what we perceive to be better has more to do with them not being a self-conscious

00:09:17.940 and just going up and doing the job as opposed to people who overthink and get paralyzed by the

00:09:23.720 pressure of delivering a meeting or public speaking so this is a very important skill for you guys to

00:09:29.720 develop if you do not develop how to hold a meeting or how to public speak you're you are going to be

00:09:35.880 very limited in your income uh producing capabilities that's reality all right so

00:09:41.700 when it comes down to having a meeting and you're just getting started realize that we all start there

00:09:48.000 all right when i started giving meetings you have to realize the first six years of our business it

00:09:52.940 was like me and chris and then some friends who kind of filled in just to help us run the first store

00:09:58.260 and the second store and then we went from one store to six stores because we bought out this failing

00:10:04.080 business and took over a bunch of stores at once so we went from one store to six stores within 30

00:10:09.940 days so we went from not having to have any meetings to having to manage a whole bunch of

00:10:14.480 people and i had no idea how to do that because i had never done that before like real employees yes

00:10:19.260 yeah there it wasn't just me and chris and three of our friends from the bar that helped us run these

00:10:24.340 two stores anymore now it's there's 15 20 people that are we have to coordinate to to do what we're

00:10:30.880 trying to do and i had no experience with that so i can remember sitting in those meetings and standing

00:10:36.660 up and legit holding my piece of paper and it like shaking because i was so nervous and that went on

00:10:42.740 for years that went on for probably from 2006 to 2010 for so for about four years bro every single

00:10:51.920 meeting i gave i i was nervous it came out weird i knew i always messed it up but after every single one

00:10:59.580 of those meetings i gave myself an honest assessment i said all right how'd you do well i delivered this

00:11:05.400 point good i delivered this point good i missed on this point in this point i really got too nervous

00:11:11.080 here i don't know why and i give myself some honest coaching and also this is translates to sales

00:11:16.680 interactions as well if you actually take the time to break down your sales interactions in an honest

00:11:21.860 way you'll be able to coach yourself into being a productive salesperson but we're talking about

00:11:26.760 speaking so i would break down my uh my speaking play by play over and over and over and every

00:11:34.600 single time i did a meeting i would do that and we had meetings every single week so for four years

00:11:40.100 that's roughly what uh you know if we have 52 meetings a year times four it's 208 meetings so you

00:11:49.540 have 208 meetings that i put under my belt yeah all right that it took me to get the jitters out

00:11:55.540 right and and here's the thing though you know a lot of you guys know me as a speaker right i get

00:12:01.600 paid a whole lot of money to go speak in front of a lot of people to deliver a message and that's where

00:12:06.180 that skill came from that skill came from that scared dude who was scared to have a meeting in front

00:12:12.340 of 10 or 12 people 15 people to someone who can go out on stage in front of 25 000 people and blow

00:12:18.460 their fucking minds and that's the power of reps i don't have a natural skill set for this in fact

00:12:24.460 when i took public speaking in college i got a d all right and by me doing this these meetings and

00:12:31.260 then working the sales floor of a retail spot and then doing the podcast on top of it it gave me

00:12:37.300 thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of reps that allowed me to learn how to speak in a

00:12:43.140 way that resonated with people and so to all of you guys out here who look at all these people

00:12:49.080 you know there's a lot of people who pretend like they have this natural skill and they were born

00:12:54.720 with this and the reason they do this is because their ego is over inflated and they want you to

00:12:59.800 like worship them and think they're special but the truth of the matter is none of these people are

00:13:04.200 special not a single one i fucking know all of them i know them all all the people you think are big

00:13:09.320 deal on the internet i fucking know them every single one of them i fucking know them and i'm telling

00:13:14.120 you right now the ones who try to pretend like they've got it all figured out they're fucking

00:13:18.400 lying because i also know they're bullshit behind closed doors okay this is hard for everybody

00:13:24.040 everybody starts in a very difficult spot when it comes to public speaking and communicating to a group

00:13:31.340 that's a hard skill to learn actually i take that back it's not that hard to learn you just have to be

00:13:37.280 willing to be bad at it for a certain amount of time and then it starts to get better and better and

00:13:41.600 better so my answer to you is to understand that you're supposed to be bad right now you just started

00:13:49.080 you given one meeting bro you're not going to come in and blow people's fucking brains off you know

00:13:52.900 what i'm saying like you're gonna you're gonna suck yeah it's not gonna happen that will come with

00:13:57.180 time though that will come with time you're gonna get you're gonna give a meeting a meeting a meeting

00:14:02.140 and you're gonna do hundreds of meetings and hundreds of reps and eventually you're gonna get on like a

00:14:06.480 little roll in your meeting and at the end of it people are just gonna look at you and they're gonna

00:14:10.700 start clapping and you're gonna be like what and that's how it starts you just start to get better

00:14:15.420 and better and better with reps so understand one you're supposed to be bad two the only way to get

00:14:20.740 better is to be willing to go down the path and look stupid which is what most people aren't willing

00:14:25.480 to do most people spend their entire lives afraid to even start because they are concerned about what

00:14:31.500 people might think they tell themselves all these stories they're gonna get laughed at they're gonna get

00:14:36.380 made fun of people are gonna talk shit and guess what they're gonna talk shit either way they're

00:14:41.720 gonna talk shit if you go and try and look stupid and fall on your face or they're gonna talk shit if

00:14:46.840 you don't try and you become just a fucking loser all right so people are gonna talk they're gonna laugh

00:14:52.100 they're going to give you shit this is a natural part of life and they're gonna do it whether you go

00:14:57.860 down the path or whether you don't and so you have to ask yourself do you want to go through all that

00:15:01.920 humiliation and then have something to show for it or do you want to go through all that humiliation

00:15:06.500 and actually be what they say you are which is a loser all right those are what your choices are

00:15:10.960 so you're doing a great job by getting started brother keep going show up every time try to get

00:15:16.960 better break down your coaching and just get yourself in situations where you can give the reps

00:15:21.480 this is why i tell you guys do that exercise of going into public places and having real conversations

00:15:28.440 with people i tell this i've told if you guys it's your first time listening i'll tell this story

00:15:32.120 again i used to play this game where i would go to the local grocery store right up the street my

00:15:37.780 house it's called deerberg's here in st louis um and i would go in there and i would force myself to

00:15:43.620 have three conversations with someone before i left all right and this isn't like hey man nice shoes

00:15:49.300 this would be like a conversation right like hey have you tried those beans before yeah what do you

00:15:56.200 make with them have a real conversation right because what that does is it starts to get you

00:16:01.680 in a skill set to be able to communicate face to face and a lot of you guys that listen to this shit

00:16:07.160 you suck at this all right the biggest problem with the younger generation right now is that they

00:16:11.800 have an extremely difficult time communicating not on their phone they don't want to talk to people

00:16:17.540 they don't want to meet people they want to text people and that's it and that's a severe handicap

00:16:21.960 on your success because the reality of of building something real in life comes down to how well you

00:16:29.500 work with other people because it takes a fucking village to be successful so if you lack the ability

00:16:35.280 to actually connect and communicate with real life human beings you are at a severe disadvantage

00:16:40.200 and that also opens up the flip side of that equation if you are a young person and you are willing

00:16:45.560 to get good at this skill and you are willing to invest the time to be great and you are willing to put

00:16:49.780 in the effort to develop this skill set you are at a disproportionate advantage over everybody else

00:16:54.640 because most of these people are tied to their phone when i was 20 years old everybody talked to

00:16:59.520 everybody because we didn't have fucking phones so think about competing with everybody who's got

00:17:03.760 great people skills and working to have people skills versus you young guys you only have to compete

00:17:09.540 with a small amount of people because they're believing this lie that connecting with humans is really

00:17:14.840 irrelevant because we can just do everything through technology motherfucker technology don't buy your shit

00:17:19.340 people do and if you don't connect with them you're going to be fucking broke so keep putting

00:17:24.040 in the reps put in the practice put in the time get yourself in intentional situations to have to talk

00:17:30.380 to people and that skill set will grow it's like any other skill i love it i don't want to miss this

00:17:35.100 point because it's something you said and made me think you know we talk about how you after you got

00:17:40.080 done with the meeting you would check yourself like you would go over play by play right yeah what do i do

00:17:45.040 after i after i talk now you still do that to this day and was that what you were going to bring

00:17:49.120 up yeah that's what i want to bring up because i feel like you know people what do i say when i get

00:17:51.940 in the car after a speaking event fuck man what do you guys think i don't know man and you start

00:17:56.380 like you start really being i fucked up this part exactly i could have done better here this is where

00:18:00.440 i and even though everybody else think you did fucking amazing yeah you're still talking it out on my

00:18:05.120 yeah what is that that's called self-assessment that's a skill that most people lack most people

00:18:10.580 either tell themselves that they were really great or they tell themselves they were really shitty and

00:18:15.820 you have to learn to coach yourself from a unemotional factual standpoint yeah did you execute

00:18:23.140 did you not execute did you do good did you not do good if you did good tell yourself you did good here

00:18:29.220 if you did bad tell yourself you did bad here we as humans have this natural propensity

00:18:34.220 to beat ourselves up even when we do good or when we do bad tell ourselves that we did amazing and

00:18:40.500 these these lies that we tell ourselves because we are protecting our own ego are actually what can

00:18:46.720 stop us from becoming what it is we're supposed to become so it's very important to learn the skill

00:18:53.500 set of self-assessment to detach your ego and say all right you know like for example like i think one

00:19:00.080 of the reasons our show does so well with the current event stuff is because i and you both are

00:19:07.120 willing to say man am i right about that or am i wrong am i seeing that wrong you know what i'm

00:19:12.680 saying for sure so like we have to just sucks we're always right well hey it is what it is but i'm just

00:19:19.120 saying you know we have to this this flows into a bigger conversation which is what have we lost in

00:19:25.400 society we've lost the ability to disagree and communicate or find common ground and the reason

00:19:30.620 that we've lost the ability to communicate and find common ground is because our egos get in the way

00:19:36.000 of it because we either want to be right as much as as much as we could possibly want it we want to win

00:19:42.660 the argument winning the argument is not the goal solving the problem is the goal winning the idea contest

00:19:50.280 in your office like i want to you know my idea has got to be the one that we do no your idea should

00:19:56.120 be the best idea that should be the one that we do and this this this not our lack of ability to

00:20:03.640 separate ourselves from the truth and what we want the truth to be is what's damaging our own personal

00:20:10.560 development and our ability as a society to work together so we have to fucking be able to assess

00:20:17.500 ourselves in a very honest way with it with as little bias as possible clearly we're going to

00:20:23.280 have bias if you're having a great day and you think you're awesome you're probably going to tell

00:20:28.240 yourself you did a little better than what you did if you're having a bad day and you're feeling like

00:20:32.520 shit you're probably going to tell yourself you did a little worse than what you did so we have to

00:20:36.580 be aware of those things too yeah you know it's it's a skill set to be able to assess yourself

00:20:41.220 honestly that has to be developed through reps just like the actual delivery of the message i love

00:20:47.360 that man i love that guys andy question number two andy i'm 23 years old i didn't have the best

00:20:55.460 examples of success growing up and i never really knew what success looked like i want to win in life

00:21:02.000 i want to have financial freedom i want a badass house and a bank account i want a legacy now i've

00:21:08.100 been listening to your show for about six or seven months now and i feel like i understand and get

00:21:12.560 everything you're saying when it comes to just going and starting my question is what happens if

00:21:19.420 i do all of this work and learn all of these skills and it still doesn't work what happens if i still

00:21:26.040 fail this fear is paralyzing me to even start and i can't shake it well first of all um i think this is

00:21:34.440 a great question because i believe that the reason that most people never start is because they can't

00:21:41.060 pinpoint the desired result as a certainty all right they want to consume all the data they want

00:21:47.820 to consume all the action steps they want to make make sure of every single thing that they can before

00:21:53.180 they start so they can get this guaranteed result but when they realize that the result cannot be

00:22:00.680 guaranteed no matter if you do all the work then they say well fuck it i might as well not do the work

00:22:05.200 because the result's guaranteed but what they're failing to realize is the flip side of that

00:22:09.660 you do have a guaranteed result if you don't go the guaranteed result if you don't go is that your

00:22:14.640 life is going to be shitty all right and you're going to think every single day while you're alive

00:22:19.240 man what will my life look like had i done those things so it's not what's going to happen if i do it

00:22:24.920 it's what's going to happen if i don't do it and if you don't do it your life is not going to stay

00:22:29.880 the same as it is now it's going to get progressively worse because we live in a sliding scale when we talk

00:22:35.980 about culture and society and the way things progress and so if you're not getting better at

00:22:41.340 the pace of everybody else getting better or everything else getting better you are actually

00:22:45.460 getting worse by trying to maintain even maintaining where you are takes a certain amount of dedicated

00:22:51.220 work all right because maintaining is actually moving forward but the point of this is this there

00:22:57.920 is no fucking guarantee bro there's no guarantee that you're going to do all this work and everything's

00:23:02.860 going to work out and you're going to become a gazillionaire and you're going to live this crazy

00:23:07.660 life but there is a guarantee that if you don't try you're going to live a shitty life and that's what

00:23:12.120 you need to be thinking about and this is what paralyzes most people from ever going when we think about

00:23:18.100 how the process actually works and the young the young bucks think of it as a guarantee what they're

00:23:25.120 missing is is that yes you can have all the steps yes you can have all the data yes you can have

00:23:32.480 the best plan in the world but once you go out and start executing on that plan shit's going to go

00:23:37.360 wrong you are going to make mistakes you are going to fuck things up and every single time you make

00:23:43.040 one of these mistakes you learn a lesson and when you learn that lesson it helps sharpen a new skill

00:23:47.840 that you didn't have before so now you go out you have this plan you get punched in the fucking face

00:23:53.940 and then you say okay well why did I get punched in the face well I got punched in the face because I

00:23:58.800 didn't do these things and then you say next time I'm going to do those things boom a skill is born

00:24:04.060 a new skill is born you put it in your tool belt and you are now better prepared to go down the path

00:24:10.100 again so you get up you dust yourself off you go again with this new skill so that when that situation

00:24:15.880 presents itself the second time you know what to do so you could get past that it's like a video game

00:24:21.740 bro you learn how to get past the the hard parts by getting killed 50 times and then you figure it out

00:24:28.060 and then you keep going and as these hardships happen you acquire more and more and more and

00:24:34.460 more skills if you continue to go down the path which starts to produce a better and better and

00:24:41.480 better and better result and so while there's no way to guarantee the the perfect outcome on your

00:24:47.700 journey your life will be exponentially better by going on it and so when we think about you know

00:24:54.440 what if I do all this shit and nothing happens and I fall on my face and I get made fun of and

00:25:00.020 it's super hard and it takes a super long time motherfucker that's how it's gonna be okay and

00:25:06.100 you're looking at it the wrong way you want the guarantee of the big house the car the boat the big

00:25:10.840 life when in reality if you don't go you're guaranteed shit and that's what you have to think about so it's

00:25:17.060 not what do I what if I do all this work and I don't make it it's what if you don't do shit and you

00:25:22.520 stay right where you are that's how you should be thinking about it would you say that that people

00:25:29.640 too often they put way too much pressure on the external uh circumstances that could happen and

00:25:35.620 throw shit off the plan and they don't focus enough on what they actually can't control

00:25:39.160 100 you know what I'm saying like like like it's way too much like well there's politics and all

00:25:44.180 these other things yeah of course bro people want to listen man people people want this to be cut

00:25:50.180 and dry they want this to be easy they want it to be quick they want it to be painless there's

00:25:54.920 nothing easy quick and painless about being fucking great at building anything in life creating anything

00:26:00.420 at life becoming anything at life you are going to suffer it is going to be hard it is going to take

00:26:05.240 all of your energy it's going to kick you in the fucking face a thousand times you're going to be

00:26:09.700 demoralized you're going to be frustrated you're going to be angry you're going to be bitter

00:26:13.340 sometimes this is why it's so important to build yourself into someone who can execute regardless

00:26:19.580 of what your mood is regardless of what your circumstances is because if you can execute when

00:26:24.640 things are fucked up and everybody else bails and everybody else quits what kind of advantage does that

00:26:29.580 give you over the long haul it gives you a tremendous advantage and if you can become the kind

00:26:34.460 of person that cannot be fucking stopped by outside circumstances or going through a tough time

00:26:39.300 or being in a bad mood or being unmotivated how can anyone fucking beat that who can stop that the

00:26:45.640 only thing that can stop that is fucking your own death or god okay so this is the most powerful

00:26:51.920 version that you can become of yourself by becoming a disciplined human being that can execute regardless

00:26:58.440 of the circumstances and if you go out and you go on that path and you go that route the guarantee

00:27:04.580 for sure is a much better life now can you say you're going to have a plane and cars and a big

00:27:10.180 house bro it depends on how good you are are you good are you smart do you have skill sets are you

00:27:17.880 investing to build those skill sets are you trying to learn this on the job or are you taking all your

00:27:23.340 free time and all of your energy and all of your efforts and dedicating it to become the most skilled

00:27:29.100 version of you in this lane that you're in as possible because i can tell you that anybody that

00:27:35.000 wins at the highest level that's how they operate it might not be healthy it might not be what most

00:27:40.280 people want it certainly isn't balanced but it's the real story real motherfuckers are obsessed with

00:27:46.260 what they do the people who win the biggest are fucking obsessed you cannot argue that i've met

00:27:51.940 thousands and thousands and thousands of entrepreneurs and the best ones the ones that win at the

00:27:58.780 highest level they are fucking obsessed it's a huge priority over everything else in their life

00:28:03.780 and people will sit here and hear well that's not healthy well then fucking don't be a winner man

00:28:07.300 i'm just telling you what it is you don't have to do it yeah i'm not saying you got to do it i'm not

00:28:13.320 saying it's for you i'm saying what it fucking actually takes and nobody else wants to say that

00:28:18.360 shit because you can't fucking sell it you can't go out and sell the idea hey man this is going to

00:28:23.360 beat your ass for the rest of your life and it's going to be hard and it's going to take everything and

00:28:27.840 it's going to make everything else in your life come second place and it's not going to be fun most

00:28:32.300 of the time and you're going to struggle most of the time and it's going to be how do you sell that

00:28:36.380 to someone no one talks about that because you can't sell it to people who aren't willing to do

00:28:41.540 that so there's all these people out here that are willing to tell people it's easy it's quick just do

00:28:46.320 this and do that and do this and these people then try that and they fail and then they find another

00:28:51.740 one of these motherfuckers and then they try their shit and they fail and then they find another one of

00:28:56.360 these people who promise is easy and they try that and they fail you know what they eventually say

00:28:59.860 fuck i guess i don't have what it takes and they quit and they reside themselves to some mediocre

00:29:05.560 existence that's far below their actual potential because they're not being told the truth about the

00:29:11.040 game the game will take everything you have and if you want to win at a mediocre level it'll take less

00:29:17.020 if you want to win at the highest level it's going to take more and that's the way the fucking cookie

00:29:21.640 crumbles when it comes to this and you can argue about it you can bitch about it you can judge it i don't

00:29:26.280 give a fuck but that is the way it is love it man it's the fucking truth dude there's too many

00:29:32.740 people out here that want this shit easy and notice none of them win on a big scale there might be a

00:29:38.140 couple people out here that got some cars and have some shit and be winning but what the fuck have they

00:29:43.180 built well look at them if you're going to be a world-changing fucking cleaner motherfucker like tim

00:29:48.940 grover talks about it's going to take everything bro it takes free throws at three o'clock in the

00:29:53.340 fucking morning like mj and fucking kobe did that's what the fuck it takes it takes total obsession

00:29:58.720 dude and most people ain't built for it and we have this entire culture out here that's telling

00:30:03.180 everybody that being their own boss is about freedom and it's about fun and it's about doing

00:30:09.320 whatever you want and you get to and they're all liars they're all lying that's not how the fuck it is

00:30:14.960 bro it's total fucking obsession to your craft now i'm talking about the highest level winners if you

00:30:21.500 want to win less than that it's going to take less obsession if you want to win mediocre and just

00:30:26.340 have some money and have a bass boat and like live a life that's cool too it's going to take less

00:30:31.780 but the reality is is i'm not here to talk to the fucking people who want to win less i'm here to

00:30:36.680 talk about people that want to win at the highest level love it man fuck man guys andy our third and

00:30:43.960 final question question number three uh andy when you do have those times of fun uh culture building

00:30:53.020 gatherings or parties what have you found to be the most effective after the event and pulling your

00:30:59.240 team back into gear to focus on the mission and put the fun behind them and get back to work i'm

00:31:05.300 struggling with this in my business after we have a company event any thoughts on this

00:31:09.180 i i think you're thinking about it wrong that's not how i think about it at all i think about the

00:31:16.580 fun events that we get to do as reminding people how awesome it is that we get to do this shit every

00:31:23.760 day there is an understanding that when we walk in the doors here it is all business bro and yes we're

00:31:29.100 going to have fun and yes we're going to fuck around with each other and we're going to tell jokes and

00:31:33.020 we're going to keep it light and we're going to play games and do all the fun shit that everybody thinks

00:31:37.600 our companies are on social media but there's an understanding you're going to fucking execute at

00:31:42.440 a high level and everybody knows that and so how i how i look at the the fun events is that it gives us

00:31:49.980 some momentum it gives us some boosts it gives us to lighten up you know and and to remember why it is

00:31:55.980 we get to do what we do uh how awesome it is we get to do what we do and it reminds everybody of

00:32:02.180 what a blessing it is to be surrounded with the quality of people that we are here in our

00:32:08.160 organizations and i want that feeling to last as long as possible i don't want to stop that the next

00:32:13.460 day and say hey uh no more having fun there's time for if you're doing that you're running your

00:32:18.400 shit wrong so i would encourage you to look at it the opposite way that you're looking at it and i

00:32:23.360 would say hey use these events to remind people how blessed we are to go to do important things with

00:32:32.180 this level of quality people and why it's important that we execute day in and day out so we can

00:32:38.580 continue to do these things with these awesome people so it's just a matter of perspective yeah

00:32:43.000 it's like the events the like we're not talking about you know bringing that should be a conference

00:32:46.980 room for a fucking karen's birthday right like these are meaningful things right yeah bro we spend

00:32:52.040 millions of dollars on summer smash yeah every year well i mean well how do you how do you how do you

00:32:56.620 how do you convey that to i guess a business owner who doesn't have that type of expense report to

00:33:01.860 well i mean before before we were spending millions of dollars we were spending thousands

00:33:06.900 of dollars or hundreds of dollars when we didn't have summer smash we would have barbecues when we

00:33:12.980 didn't have this awesome headquarters we would have customer appreciation barbecues at the back of our

00:33:19.300 fucking stores like the events always start small and they grow into things sure but you don't want

00:33:24.760 to the point of the matter is is you don't want to kill the momentum that these events create

00:33:29.460 because you want guys to get back and be serious look bro people don't do their best work when

00:33:35.420 they're serious they do their best work when they're appreciative of what they get to do they

00:33:40.240 appreciate who they get to do it with they're aligned on the mission they're aligned on the goal they get

00:33:45.080 to contribute into whatever that is whatever it is for you and that creates a cohesive team that does

00:33:51.300 great work and if you say to if i walked in here every single day and i said quit fucking around

00:33:55.980 don't talk don't laugh don't do the work bro we we wouldn't we would be we would be a shitty company

00:34:01.340 yeah you see people would hate us they would hate working here so i think as the organizer of a

00:34:09.120 organization the leader of an organization whether that be a church a charity a team a company whatever

00:34:16.480 it is a gang i don't fucking know like whatever it is you're gonna drive by tuesdays yeah like

00:34:22.980 it's all the dynamics i love that yeah but the dynamics all the same yeah we have a mission we

00:34:28.620 have a purpose we're going to work towards this mission but we should also try to have fun doing

00:34:33.420 it and appreciate the people that we get to do it with and i'll say this bro one of one of the best

00:34:39.060 things in my life and a lot of people see the outside success they think you know oh dude andy's

00:34:44.320 made a lot of money and he's gets to fly around on private jets and he has all these cars and he

00:34:49.640 does all this cool shit he knows all these people and they see that shit from the outside and they

00:34:54.020 think that's what's cool you know what's fucking cool is that i get to wake up every motherfucking

00:34:58.060 day and walk in this building and go to fucking war with people that give a fuck about what we do

00:35:02.000 and they're damn good at doing it and that makes me proud that makes me excited that makes me have

00:35:07.420 purpose in my life why haven't i people ask me all the time why haven't you sold your companies you

00:35:11.920 could be doing no shit i could but like i love what i do what the fuck would i do these are my

00:35:16.260 people these are my friends these are people i care about why the fuck would i do that i'm gonna what

00:35:20.820 what is that worth to me what is selling my entire existence my entire friend group my entire purpose

00:35:26.640 my entire mission life for some what's that worth in dollars there is no fucking dollar amount for that

00:35:32.600 yeah it's not but it's not for sale man and so you know a lot of you guys who are running your

00:35:38.160 companies you're missing out on a great opportunity to develop a lot of richness in your life by not

00:35:45.820 appreciating what it is you do and who you get to do it with and instead you're walking in every day

00:35:51.320 demanding some productivity and by the way i used to be that way i used to be because when you're not

00:35:56.760 succeeding it's very important to produce but what you'll find is that when everybody's having fun and

00:36:02.660 everybody is bought in on the mission and everybody appreciates each other's contribution

00:36:06.500 and their own contribution the the productivity happens organically yeah so um so anyway long

00:36:15.360 story short i would stop trying to kill the fun and i would try to lengthen and extend it into your

00:36:21.340 culture as long as you possibly can and you're going to have a better result this this sounds like

00:36:26.380 someone who's walking in being like man all these guys do are fucking around bro that's the wrong

00:36:31.580 attitude man listen are they getting it done are they producing high level results if not it has

00:36:38.080 nothing to do with them having fun it has to do with you're not leading them to do the job the proper

00:36:41.880 way still a you problem it is a you problem every leadership problem is a problem with the leader

00:36:46.200 every pro this is this is where this is where people don't want to hear that no they don't bro

00:36:50.960 they don't this is where they fuck it up yeah they want to dude how many times do we see people

00:36:56.140 saying well bro it's impossible to get anybody to work these days really i don't know we don't have

00:37:01.500 a problem with it yeah we're all we are yeah you know what i'm saying what are we insulated no yeah

00:37:08.540 we just have a different culture than you have and that culture comes from our leadership and you

00:37:12.320 haven't put it in yet really it comes down dude you know what it really comes down to most of these

00:37:17.560 people this is the truth man and like people are gonna get pissed when i say this but most of you

00:37:23.800 guys that run companies and lead people you're trying to fucking take advantage of people you

00:37:28.400 want them to do all the fucking work you don't have any intention of growing something that's big

00:37:32.400 enough for their dreams to fit under you don't really give a shit about them you're pretending

00:37:36.120 that you give a shit and because you pretend they give a shit they don't give a shit about you

00:37:39.820 because these people are not fucking stupid you're trying to ride their backs on the success

00:37:44.660 without actually going out and building something that's going to benefit them and your people know that

00:37:49.540 and that's why they don't respond to you because you're a shitty fucking leader and you don't have

00:37:53.260 their their interest in mind i have these people's interests in mind in my companies my you know

00:37:58.040 why i want to grow first forming the one of the greatest iconic american brands that's ever existed

00:38:03.520 because i need to build the company big enough for these guys who have put in all this time to have

00:38:09.820 their dreams inside of that i have to that's my obligation they help me do that now i have to help

00:38:15.760 them do that that's the way it fucking works if you're a great leader so if you're leading an

00:38:20.280 organization here and you think you're gonna fool these people into like coming this amazing team

00:38:26.300 you're fucking wrong it's not gonna fucking happen yeah and then on top of that telling them not to

00:38:30.180 have fun yeah look dude most of these problems from a leadership standpoint could be solved

00:38:37.420 very quickly by understanding your obligation as a leader you are responsible for these people's

00:38:45.500 fucking lives you are responsible for their career path you are responsible for their fucking

00:38:51.000 families you are responsible they are dedicating a huge part of their life to your cause that is a

00:38:58.400 huge obligation for you to build whatever it is you're building into something that can support

00:39:03.480 their dreams and trade for what they've put into your dreams you see what i'm saying it's a huge deal

00:39:09.840 and if you just thought about it that way if you instead of thinking about it what can i get you

00:39:14.860 started thinking about what can i do how can i grow the company how can i create opportunities for my

00:39:19.920 people how can we get better how can we do that and you started thinking about it from a place of

00:39:24.140 service and growth for the collective and not just yourself bro most of your problems will fix

00:39:29.080 themselves but you guys can't connect that so connect that and a lot of this shit will solve itself

00:39:35.180 i love it man guys andy that was three yep that's three guys go pay the fee

00:39:42.620 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions in

00:39:50.300 the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold just a no headshot case close

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 15, 2024

650. Q&AF： Leading Team Meetings, Winning In Life & Having "Fun" At Work

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