REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 670. Q&AF： Aligning Purpose With Goals, Advancing Your Career & Different Types Of Winners

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realist say goodbye to the lies

00:00:20.940 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:25.720 have q and af that's where you submit the q's and we give you the afs now you can submit your

00:00:31.780 questions a few different ways the first way is guys you can email those questions in to ask

00:00:38.460 andy at andy for selling.com or you can go on youtube in the comment section on the q and af

00:00:45.200 episodes and you can ask your question right there in the comments and we'll pick some from there as

00:00:49.700 well as we move through the week you're going to see different formats of shows we're going to have

00:00:54.500 q and af which is right now and then we're going to have cti which is cruise the internet that's

00:01:00.020 where we put up topics on the screen we talk about what's going on we speculate on what's true what's

00:01:04.820 not true and then we talk about how we the people have to solve some of these problems going on in

00:01:08.840 society other times you're going to get real talk real talk is just five to 20 minutes and me giving

00:01:13.440 you some real talk and then we have 75 hard verses and 75 hard verses is where somebody who has

00:01:19.680 completed the 75 hard program comes on the show talks about how they were before how they are now

00:01:27.240 uh we talk about how you can do the same that they've done using the 75 hard program and get

00:01:32.440 your shit together uh if you're not familiar with the 75 hard program it is the initial phase of the

00:01:38.120 live hard program which is available for free at episode 208 it is the world's largest mental

00:01:45.220 toughness program ever and it's free uh there is a book about this it's called the book on mental

00:01:51.680 toughness you can go to my website andyfrostella.com and you can get the book uh it's not required the

00:01:57.140 program is for free at episode 208 on audio feed only uh but if you want to know the ins and outs

00:02:03.280 and the ups and downs and everything in between the book on mental toughness is a great book it covers

00:02:09.020 the entire live hard program plus 10 chapters on mental toughness why it's important how to build it

00:02:13.900 uh and what it'll do for you and then some case studies on some very famous people and how they've

00:02:18.020 used it uh to become the recognizable names that you know so uh with all that being said we have

00:02:25.100 this thing called the fee we're gonna say pay the fee what that means is uh support the show all right

00:02:31.200 we don't run ads on the show we don't run ads for the show we do not take money from companies and

00:02:37.380 have them tell me what i can and can't say and will and won't do uh i pay for this show out of my

00:02:43.460 pocket and i do that so that i can keep it real and not have a deal with any bullshit so in exchange

00:02:48.920 for that uh not spending 30 minutes of your day talking about a bunch of stuff i don't use

00:02:53.280 i just ask very simply that you share the show uh we're constantly battling censorship and

00:02:59.920 traffic bans and shadow bans and throttles and all these things especially when we talk about what's

00:03:05.380 going on in the world on cti and uh if you think the message is important we need you to share the show

00:03:11.000 it doesn't get out without you guys so uh don't be a hoe show the show all right hey what's up dude

00:03:16.280 what's going on my man oh yeah so with you oh you know nothing much another uh another just beautiful

00:03:22.460 monday here yeah making people better yeah was anything new going on with you nope yeah are you

00:03:30.880 ready for the summer i think so some sun and some heat yeah i'm pretty listen here in the midwest

00:03:37.380 dude like i we get the gray the gray is what bothers me it's not months of it yeah it's not

00:03:43.520 the cold it's not the weather it's the gray and uh it's nice that we're moving into the springtime

00:03:50.440 months you know there's been a couple days where i've been able to get the uh lincoln out and kind

00:03:54.960 of cruise with the top down and get some sun on my face and that feels good i'm ready for the

00:03:59.120 shirtless uh cardio session yeah me too bro that's i love that that's my favorite part especially when

00:04:04.300 you come with me yeah right yeah so uh you know i'm kind of tired of looking like powder over here

00:04:10.260 yeah yeah i mean i gotta get my tan going you got a little light yeah you got a little light i know

00:04:16.040 bro i feel it i feel see-through so well i mean it could be worse you could be like my dot yeah i think

00:04:22.220 it's affecting my swag is that what it is yeah it was definitely affecting the credit score

00:04:25.780 that's uh let's get into it man i got some good ones for you all right let's dive into this guys

00:04:31.040 andy question number one uh andy i have recently made the decision to switch my mindset from

00:04:38.080 trying 75 hard to doing 75 hard this decision and change of mindset has made me uh has made an

00:04:45.280 unbelievable impact on my life in a very short amount of time i am a 25 year old business owner

00:04:50.660 in my fourth year of business and recently discovered through this change in mindset

00:04:54.520 that i have been operating the last three years without a clear understanding of my purpose

00:05:00.480 thanks to you and 75 hard i was able to to search my soul and find this purpose i finally find myself

00:05:07.200 operating towards something bigger than monetary gain but i'm having trouble setting a long-term goal

00:05:13.660 that aligns with my purpose my question is how do i come up with long-term goals that align with purpose

00:05:20.640 how do you do that well look it's impossible to be driven it's impossible to be uh motivated and feel

00:05:30.520 good about what you're doing if you don't have a purpose you know we have all these people talking

00:05:35.120 about how burned out they are all the time right and really it's not burnout it's the fact that

00:05:40.680 they don't really understand why they are doing what it is that they do and if i were to tell you hey

00:05:47.500 uh come over here and just start hammering nails in the wall and just do that until i tell you to

00:05:54.000 stop after an hour you're going to be like this is fucking terrible but if i were to tell you hey

00:05:59.500 uh we're going to put all these nails in the wall because it's going to be part of this bigger project

00:06:03.660 that we're working on you would start to feel a purpose around why you're doing what you do

00:06:09.100 and so having people uh clearly define their purpose is a big deal when it comes to feeling

00:06:18.700 good about the work that you're doing and moving forward uh with speed with momentum uh with vigor

00:06:24.480 with enthusiasm which is what creates the best work so it's super important that people

00:06:29.940 you know figure out what the fuck that is because if you don't most people don't they live their whole

00:06:36.000 life in this really miserable existence where they don't feel good about what they do they don't

00:06:41.620 really understand why they're doing it it feels torturous because there's no real outcome to why

00:06:46.600 they're doing what they do and most people never just take a minute to stop and say hey this is why

00:06:51.080 i'm doing this and so i would highly encourage that for anybody at any age at any point in time in their

00:06:56.440 life if they want to feel enthusiastic and happy about what the work that they do and also if they want to

00:07:01.280 produce the best work now how do you figure out what your long-term goals are you know most people

00:07:08.840 think about their long-term outcome and then they build their purpose around that you know what i'm

00:07:14.900 saying so it sounds like this guy's doing it a little backwards okay um but everybody i know that

00:07:21.300 builds big stuff and does great things and is happy in their life and fulfilled and excited

00:07:25.860 they have a long-term outcome in their mind and then they break it down into small steps

00:07:33.180 in order to get to that uh that long-term outcome so you have this big vision of what it is you're

00:07:40.160 trying to create you break it down into step by step by step by step working it backwards from years in

00:07:46.720 the future to where you are now and then you start executing that those steps this is pretty much

00:07:52.180 second nature to anybody who's doing anything or has done anything this is how it works and and so

00:07:58.880 i'm not real sure what he's asking when he's saying i found my purpose now i got to figure out my outcome

00:08:03.740 because typically it's the other way around so what i would do is i would spend some time

00:08:08.920 sitting down thinking about where it is you want to be what kind of life you want to live what do you

00:08:14.220 want your life to look like get very detailed about it uh paint the picture in your mind over and over

00:08:19.180 and over again through visualization every single day and then make practical action steps that will

00:08:24.560 create that in the future over the course of the next 5 10 15 years that you're going to break down

00:08:29.700 into basically uh steps and then you're going to take those steps and you're going to break them down

00:08:34.500 into you know what are my daily tasks that i need to do to move towards this goal and that's where a

00:08:40.580 tool like the power list really comes into play um if you're unfamiliar with the power list you go to audio

00:08:45.540 episode number 16 and it will explain the power list system it's a free system you don't have to

00:08:51.280 buy anything there is a journal of it on my website but it's not required you can use a notebook

00:08:56.300 um and it just explains how we do exactly what this person is asking so we break it down into critical

00:09:03.120 tasks that we execute every single day that compound over time and end up creating the outcome

00:09:07.900 that we're looking for but if you don't know where you're going it won't work so you have to decide

00:09:12.280 where it is you're trying to go from the beginning uh before you really start to break it down into a

00:09:17.740 plan to get there i mean like dude if if you don't know where you're going and you're going to get in

00:09:22.400 your car and you think you're just going to find your way there how how would that happen it wouldn't

00:09:27.000 it would be impossible so we have to decide where we're going what's it going to look like and i would

00:09:32.540 encourage you to develop that vision without limitation if you could be anything if you could build

00:09:40.680 anything whatever it would whatever your mind could come up with think of that in the biggest

00:09:48.100 coolest best most favorable outcome terms because what happens usually when people think about what

00:09:57.240 it is they're trying to create they're in a place in the beginning where they don't have that much

00:10:03.220 confidence and they don't have that much belief in themselves because they've never really built

00:10:07.580 anything and then when they set out to try and build the vision of what they want to build they

00:10:12.120 end up saying oh i'd really like to do this thing right but like i don't think i could do that that's

00:10:17.600 not that's not really within my capability right and so they shrink the vision down to this like small

00:10:23.680 vision and they're failing to understand how long life is and how much progress you can make

00:10:30.560 in a relatively short amount of time five ten years and so uh you know and it's impossible to know that

00:10:38.580 when you're 24 years old or 25 right you don't really understand how quick things can happen because

00:10:46.240 on a daily level a weekly level a monthly level progress feels slow but if you're dedicated day in

00:10:52.260 and day out and you're executing critical tasks day in and day out the the amount of time in years

00:10:57.580 is is relatively fast so you know people underestimate the amount of work that they can do uh in in like

00:11:07.220 five years right and they overestimate the amount of work they can do in six months which puts them in

00:11:12.140 this like like unfavorable mindset which is just not accurate with how things really work so i would

00:11:22.460 encourage people to sit down create the ideal outcome what would that look like what would it

00:11:29.020 look like if all of your dreams came true what would it look like if you took that company that

00:11:33.100 you're working on or that position that you're working in or that company you're working for what

00:11:37.720 would it look like if it was like ideal like if you could walk in there and say holy shit this is the

00:11:42.140 coolest thing ever what's that vision and work from there because if you go after that vision the

00:11:48.060 chances are the outcome is going to be very favorable to what you're trying to do um because

00:11:55.300 likely you're going to fall a little bit short that's just the way goals are most people don't

00:11:59.220 ever actually achieve their big goals they just get pretty close pretty close is still fucking amazing

00:12:03.960 right no so uh that's my take on that you know get clear on your purpose get clear on what you're

00:12:09.620 trying to do on the outcome break it down into small actual actionable steps um on a daily basis and

00:12:15.580 execute and eventually that'll come to fruition i love this let me let me ask you this because i feel

00:12:19.560 like you know especially for younger people man like just in general purpose i feel like it's either

00:12:24.240 one or two things like people either like overdrive it right or they severely under uh diminish it like

00:12:30.560 diminish its value right and i've heard you mention before uh you know that that purpose evolves

00:12:37.960 right and so can we just like touch on that a little bit especially for somebody that's 25 years old

00:12:43.340 it's like you know the purpose that you may have now maybe a real purpose right now

00:12:47.040 bro in 10 years it might change yeah well typically when people first get started their purposes are

00:12:52.040 more selfish and that's not a bad thing that's okay right you don't you you're you're having trouble

00:12:56.780 paying your rent you live in a place you don't want to live you're driving a car you don't want to

00:13:00.200 drive you don't have the lifestyle that you want to have and so typically most people will start with

00:13:06.000 that level of purpose i want to take care of myself i want to get myself to this place and they will

00:13:11.180 focus on that that's okay all right because what happens is once you start to take care of those

00:13:16.540 things you start to realize that the purpose is bigger than yourself and you start to understand

00:13:21.020 that this is actually not about me now this is about other people around me and so the purpose

00:13:26.520 generally shifts from in the beginning of the success journey whether you're an entrepreneur or an

00:13:32.560 entrepreneur or whatever it is you're trying to do because they're selfish reasons i want to live a

00:13:38.140 better life i want my life to look like this i want to do these things and then as you achieve

00:13:44.560 those things you start you go through this like process where you know you start to realize well

00:13:49.840 i got all these things now now what and people will typically go one of two directions at that point in

00:13:55.600 time they will either say i have everything and i'm bored and i'm miserable i'm depressed because i did

00:14:00.380 all the stuff i wanted to do and then they do not reevaluate the next step which causes them to go

00:14:06.480 backwards and it causes them to lose the progress they have made become miserable become anxious

00:14:10.920 become depressed and you know sometimes just quit all right this is why we see so many people who get

00:14:17.260 a little bit of success and then they fall off and they disappear or they pick another path and that

00:14:22.400 other path is they evolve their purpose they say okay i've got i've got my bills paid i'm able to eat

00:14:28.800 okay what about all the people around me what about this what about that and they start asking

00:14:34.440 bigger questions those bigger questions lead to a bigger purpose that typically is outside of self

00:14:40.840 all right it becomes selfless and this is why i tell people you have to be selfish to become selfless

00:14:46.480 all right you you can't just say i'm the selfless guy from the beginning and you can't even feed your

00:14:52.080 own self you can't take care of your own rent you can't take care of your own family that's not

00:14:56.880 realistic yeah but once you get that taken care of and you're comfortable it's time to re-evaluate

00:15:03.240 what it is you're trying to do what your purpose is and typically the biggest success success stories

00:15:08.680 in the world they evolve from you know at the very beginning you know i'm taking care of me and then

00:15:13.720 they go and say okay well i i need a bigger purpose i need a bigger mission i need a bigger project to

00:15:19.500 work on and then that project becomes so big that their purpose becomes big which drives them forward

00:15:24.780 and it helps everybody around them yeah does that make sense absolutely i love it and it's also like

00:15:29.380 too like it's like that dog and hunger that you have trying you know while you're in that selfish

00:15:33.180 stage yeah it carries right over yeah if the vision's big enough when you recalibrate and you

00:15:39.360 move into the bigger purpose if that's big enough you're going to actually be hungrier because who are

00:15:45.100 you more willing to fight for yourself or the person to the left and the person to the right for

00:15:49.900 right of you all right most people will fight for the people around them way harder than they will

00:15:54.940 fight for themselves so it's very important to get to that point um and then reevaluate and not

00:16:00.680 just fall off and think it's about you i mean we see this all the time if you pay attention to people

00:16:05.060 you see this on the internet all the time people who will you know they'll become successful they'll

00:16:09.700 they'll get some success financially you know their lifestyle will go up and then all of a sudden you

00:16:15.620 don't really hear from them anymore where'd they go oh and then you find out two years later they fell

00:16:19.880 off and they got addicted to drugs and they just kind of went and ruined their lives well that's

00:16:24.960 because those people didn't take that next step they refused to understand that it's not just about

00:16:29.800 them and they didn't expand their vision and when you expand that vision to start including all the

00:16:34.900 people that have helped you get where you're going now you're going to war for a completely different

00:16:39.160 reason which is much easier to go harder at does that make sense no i'm 100 most people will fight

00:16:45.340 much harder for the people around them than they will for themselves yeah i think it's important too man

00:16:49.680 just like last little thing on this is like you know people will hear you say that like okay you

00:16:53.540 know you got to be selfish in the first in the beginning well andy i mean you're saying be selfish

00:16:57.760 but like how is that a good thing right but it's like when you think about the amount of impact that

00:17:02.580 that is generated the amount of progress is made from that actions of being selfish yeah it's okay well

00:17:09.180 it's real simple you have to get your body right you have to get your mind right you have to get your

00:17:13.280 life right you have to get your income right you've got to get yourself right because yourself

00:17:16.760 is the biggest fucking tool that you have to create this vision that you're trying to create

00:17:22.420 so when you're getting that tool right there's all these people that are going to want you to go do

00:17:27.660 this and they're going to want you to go do that and they're going to want you to deviate from the

00:17:31.180 plan that's where the selfishness comes in you say no i'm not doing that i'm worried about this

00:17:35.380 right then when you've built that and you've got some progress there and you have some momentum there

00:17:40.200 you're able to now take that tool and expand the vision and make it selfless and that's where

00:17:45.540 that's how that works yeah i love that man i love it uh question number two guys andy question number

00:17:51.740 two uh andy uh hi andy i've been working as an individual contributor in a senior role within the

00:17:57.940 hr function at my company for two years i report to the director of my department who reports to our vp

00:18:04.640 who then reports to the company's chief hr officer this year the chief hr officer is meeting one-on-one

00:18:12.540 with everyone within the hr department to check in and discuss successes and opportunities within the

00:18:18.000 hr area in which we work my meeting is coming up in april as an entrepreneur how can i add the most

00:18:25.420 value to this meeting i feel so far removed from the c level and i'm struggling to find the best way to

00:18:32.840 engage with somebody at the executive level i want to make a good impression i enjoy working at my

00:18:37.800 company and i aspire to grow my career here for many years to come what advice do you have to best

00:18:42.520 prepare um there's a couple steps here one become highly skilled at what it is your role is and

00:18:50.720 execute and produce the proper result at the best level better than everybody else in your company

00:18:55.200 okay when you're the best the truth of the matter is you get preference people know that's reality

00:19:00.320 okay like you don't get preference when you're third you don't get preference when you're sixth

00:19:05.520 you get preference when you're number one you get trust when you're number one you get respect when

00:19:10.360 you're number one that's the reality so if you're running your job at a mediocre level don't expect

00:19:15.440 anybody to put their hand out and try to help you along because they're going to assume you're not

00:19:19.260 bought in anyway right okay so you have to handle business first of your own responsibilities

00:19:23.680 the second step there is to start anticipating needs all right if you want to move up then you need to

00:19:30.320 anticipating problems that the people that you're working for have and solving those problems

00:19:36.800 before they're even problems okay there's nothing more valuable than than someone in an organization

00:19:41.740 walking in and be like hey just so you know i found this and this and this oh and by the way i

00:19:47.620 already fixed this and this and this these are done that's super valuable all right we talk and we

00:19:52.400 talk in this um you know frequently about what the most valuable skills are as an entrepreneur uh

00:19:59.880 and it's sales leadership and then the ability to take initiative to take projects or problems and

00:20:06.580 solve them without anybody above you having to put their hands on it and that's a huge key to moving

00:20:10.980 forward you know when you want to move forward in a career it's it's not just do your job at a

00:20:17.300 mediocre level that's not reality you'll never you'll never win that way that's the standard of what most

00:20:22.280 people think most people think if they show up they put in their time they execute at a mediocre level

00:20:27.220 that eventually time will pass and they will become a winner that's not reality you have to

00:20:32.480 fucking be the best at what you do you have to do it very well and then you have to do other work on

00:20:38.880 top of that to create value for the people who are in the control of your path so that they say fuck

00:20:44.860 dude dj's on top of it he saw this and this and this he always sees these things he handles these

00:20:51.240 things i don't have to babysit him i don't have to you know remind him i don't have to tell him that

00:20:55.900 he has to be great at his shit and when the when the conversation comes up behind closed doors well

00:21:00.920 hey we need another person here we need another person there we have an opportunity who's going

00:21:05.580 to get it dj is going to get it because he's already been proving that he can handle it so

00:21:10.520 there's a vast difference between what people expect will move their career forward and what

00:21:17.160 actually will move their career forward and like i said just showing up every single day and checking a

00:21:23.240 box is dude you're you're you're committing career suicide through a thousand paper cuts

00:21:28.040 you're just you're just gonna rot and that's the reality in any organization you have to become

00:21:34.700 undeniable in your ability to contribute to where when the conversation comes up for the opportunities

00:21:40.980 your name's at the top of that list and that can only come by you being great at what you do

00:21:46.000 and then also learning how to anticipate the needs of the people that you're working with solving those

00:21:51.480 problems and making it known that you solve those problems that's a thing too so a lot of people will

00:21:56.280 do this initiative they'll they'll take on problems they'll solve the problems but they won't even let

00:22:01.120 anybody know that they found these problems and they fixed them and if they if nobody knows then you

00:22:05.560 don't get any kind of recognition for it so you've got to come up with a tactful way to communicate that

00:22:10.460 you have to walk into your leadership and you have to say hey just so you know i want to let you know

00:22:15.160 i found this this and this and by the way i saw this and this and this this is what i did

00:22:19.980 and i just want to keep you in a loop and then you walk the fuck out and you know what i say

00:22:23.780 fuck dude that guy's got his shit together right yeah he's worth more money he deserves an opportunity

00:22:28.980 we don't want to lose that guy those are the conversations on the back end that employers

00:22:35.120 have about their employees and you know it's very real like every single employee in the world wants

00:22:41.660 their best people to be closest to them so we can move the needle forward and a lot of people think

00:22:46.700 it's about time put in or it's about you know how many years you have because they listen to their

00:22:51.620 parents who worked in the old world or or honestly were just mediocre people i'm sure they're great

00:22:57.440 people i'm sure you love them i'm sure they love you but i'm talking about a performance standard

00:23:01.320 that's mediocre and they say well fuck dude i put in 20 years over there and they didn't do shit well

00:23:06.360 yeah because you didn't do shit during your 20 years you bear you showed up and you existed

00:23:11.420 okay so you have to work off this mentality of i have to be undeniably the best person in my role

00:23:20.860 to where it's impossible to ignore that's what undeniable means impossible to ignore and when

00:23:27.540 you're impossible to ignore you're valuable whether you're valuable here or there or anywhere else if you

00:23:33.560 can cultivate this mindset where you are that kind of contributor you will get paid you will win and

00:23:40.840 your career will progress and anything less than that you won't yeah i love that let me ask you

00:23:45.800 this from like from the entrepreneur uh standpoint you know when you started when when your businesses

00:23:51.380 started growing and you started okay now we have a leadership position that's in this place and then

00:23:56.400 now that leadership position they have you know two teams and there's leadership inside of those teams

00:24:00.660 right and the chain of command started growing what were some things that's like you made sure

00:24:05.960 that you put in place to ensure like a good healthy chain of command a good relationship to where there

00:24:11.500 was no like fear of like talking up or you know from from employees that are on the well a lot of times

00:24:17.180 you know what i'm saying yeah a lot of time well first of all anybody who's going to this is a great

00:24:22.420 question by the way all right so your ability to communicate to the leadership

00:24:29.140 as an entrepreneur is a skill that you must have all right if you cannot have a direct conversation

00:24:39.660 if you cannot communicate to the people who are up the chain from you you are way less valuable you're

00:24:47.180 not giving feedback you're not giving us anything to work off of and a lot of people because they don't

00:24:52.840 want to rock the boat they will have concerns they will have uh ideas they will have issues they will

00:24:59.220 have solutions but they won't bring them up and because they don't bring them up they don't get

00:25:04.640 any value and then they sit there and they fester and they get upset and they get bitter and it's their

00:25:09.500 own fault okay so you have to understand your ability to communicate directly and clearly to your

00:25:16.380 leadership is a valuable skill set in itself so if you're sitting there in an organization

00:25:21.780 anybody's organization and you're just like stewing well you're stewing because you lack the critical

00:25:28.440 ability to have a conversation that should be had all right if you can't give feedback you're not

00:25:34.000 valuable if you don't tell what the problems are you're not valuable if you don't bring solutions

00:25:39.120 you're not valuable these are real things and people don't do this because they don't want to

00:25:43.780 quote unquote rock the boat well that's a skill set that you have to have how can someone be

00:25:50.200 valuable how can someone move up how can someone get a bigger position and more pay and a better

00:25:56.380 career inside an organization if they will not fucking communicate you are you you cannot do it

00:26:02.640 okay because as leadership we're looking out on the horizon and and you know let's just say we were in a

00:26:09.540 battle and you're five miles over that way on the line and you're getting fucking killed there's a

00:26:15.220 problem okay you're getting fucking killed everybody's killing all your guys you're getting

00:26:19.380 shot and you won't say shit because you don't want to be seen as a rock in the boat well now not only

00:26:24.540 are you not valuable you're a fucking liability to the team because you're getting motherfuckers killed

00:26:28.940 because you can see a very obvious thing that needs to be solved and you're not doing anything about

00:26:32.880 it that is the opposite of the undeniable aspect that we're talking about so communication is a huge deal

00:26:40.140 people have to develop it and it's a necessary skill for you to move up in your career and uh

00:26:46.120 you know a lot of times in organizations people will say well the leadership they won't hear my

00:26:52.760 they won't hear my feedback motherfucker you don't bring it right so they assume that you won't hear

00:26:58.200 it so then they make up this narrative in your head and they say oh you know they won't listen to

00:27:02.700 me they won't this that they're approachable when in reality they just didn't even fucking develop

00:27:06.840 their own communication skill right okay so and these people go and they have this problem

00:27:11.340 at one organization the next one the next one the next one the next one they have it in their

00:27:16.480 relationships they have it in their friendships and they can't recognize that it's a them problem

00:27:20.740 not everybody else problem most of the problems you have is a you problem that's reality so um

00:27:27.120 i you know yes you want to foster a good environment for people to bring feedback but

00:27:34.780 they have to understand very clearly that there is a difference between actual constructive feedback

00:27:41.440 that helps what's going on or gossip drama bullshit and that's a huge skill as well if you're one of

00:27:49.000 these people that just brings every single ounce of bullshit to the leadership without handling it

00:27:54.300 now you're even less valuable so there's a nuance here you have to know the difference between reality

00:27:59.980 and real shit and you have to know the difference between bullshit and don't bring your leadership a

00:28:04.420 bunch of bullshit that's gossipy and drama-y and this and that those things are your responsibility

00:28:09.720 to handle all right the real problems go up the chain and if you can delineate those two things and

00:28:15.520 you can effectively communicate you are far more valuable especially if you can squash the shit that's

00:28:21.180 stupid and handle the things that are actually real and so this communication that so many people

00:28:27.300 try to put on their leadership is actually an internal problem and when you examine their lives

00:28:33.500 you will see that they have this problem in every single area of their life like i said they have

00:28:38.300 it with their relationship they have with their friendship they've had it at previous jobs and

00:28:41.640 they're going to have it at next jobs and unless you develop this skill set of one being able to tell

00:28:46.300 the actual feedback to being able to solve the problems before you actually go to them with the

00:28:52.380 problem three knowing the difference between bullshit and real shit unless you're able to do that

00:28:58.200 you're you're not valuable dude like you're just a warm body holding space so my advice to anybody

00:29:05.940 out there that's sitting there and saying you know i don't know what's going bro are you doing all these

00:29:10.620 things like really are you or are you scared shitless to say anything and do anything because

00:29:16.200 that's something you have to overcome to progress your career there's no high paying high value amazing

00:29:23.220 career out there where the person that's in it can't communicate it just doesn't exist don't happen

00:29:28.700 and a lot of people have this problem now because social media yeah right they're not good with

00:29:32.940 people they're not good having conversations they're timid they're afraid they and dude you know

00:29:39.020 we're talking in-person communication here okay and and so like dude people will say well you know my

00:29:44.480 leadership they don't they make it hard for me to get no they don't they just don't want to be

00:29:48.220 bothered with your bullshit right they want to know that when you come in there it's real shit

00:29:52.260 and so they you know we have to fucking understand that most of these problems start within us it's

00:29:58.120 not out there it's us and if your leadership doesn't appreciate real direct feedback then

00:30:03.980 probably you should go to somewhere where they do you know what i mean but the likelihood of that is

00:30:08.460 well i don't know i mean there's a lot of shitty organizations out there it depends on if you're in

00:30:12.360 the right one or not for sure yeah you know it's funny because i almost think when you were saying

00:30:15.640 that about you know like you see a problem on the front line and you're not saying nothing

00:30:19.500 it's it's like people forget like hey listen that problem eventually the top chain of command

00:30:24.460 they're gonna find out about the problem yeah and they're gonna say why didn't you do anything

00:30:27.300 how the fuck did you miss that yes and then it makes you look bad it fucking makes your stock go

00:30:31.240 way low yeah yeah it's just a simple change of mind man it's a different way of looking at it

00:30:35.540 listen dude people have to understand we have to learn that most of our problems come from within

00:30:45.500 ourselves and if we want to be valuable we have to work on those problems and fix them and not

00:30:50.680 project them onto other people you know when you've worked seven jobs and you say no my leadership

00:30:55.600 sucks it's not the seven jobs bro it's you there's a common denominator that's right yeah i love it i

00:31:01.740 love it guys andy our third and final question question number three hey andy do you think there

00:31:07.380 is a point let me say this too before we get into that i think people don't understand how how it is

00:31:14.540 that they progress their career okay no one's gonna come and say hey uh you know you've been

00:31:21.580 here for seven years and i really want your career to progress that's not what's gonna happen dude

00:31:26.040 okay you're gonna have to be this is how it works in real life you are so good you are so undeniably

00:31:33.780 good you contribute so much you solve so many problems you are so skilled you are you are performing

00:31:39.780 at a high level that you can walk in the office and you can say fucking pay me fucking pay me or i'm

00:31:46.660 out that's the fucking where that your goal as a fucking entrepreneur is to build so much leverage

00:31:52.900 in yourself that you can walk in and you could say hey this is what i do here are my stats this is what

00:32:00.380 i've done and you could show it all clear as day i'm the best at what i do here i'm this i'm that i'm

00:32:05.780 this i would like this opportunity and if i can't get this opportunity in a reasonable time frame

00:32:10.680 i would i'm probably going to progress my career somewhere else yeah and it's nothing against you

00:32:15.600 guys it's nothing i love you guys but i have to progress my career and you know what's going to

00:32:20.440 happen you're going to walk out of the room and the people are going to say all right we got to

00:32:24.020 find a spot for this guy this guy's a fucking killer yeah you know i'm saying the caveat being

00:32:28.280 you better make sure your shit's in line well dude people try to do that when they don't really

00:32:32.540 have right they don't have leverage right and then that's when companies look at people they're

00:32:36.520 like okay yeah you need a box yeah right like okay yeah like okay like yeah you know so it's your job

00:32:45.600 is to become so great that nobody can ignore that nobody can deny it it has to be actual data that

00:32:54.560 shows that you have to have intangibles a feeling a cultural contribution being a leader being skilled

00:33:01.420 uh being able to communicate being able to take initiative solve problems these are all things

00:33:06.020 that drive your stock up and if your stock is really high you're in the driver's seat of your life and

00:33:11.700 it doesn't matter what company you're with if your stock is high and you're good at what you do you can

00:33:15.700 go anywhere and you can be successful then then the game becomes where do i want to play what team do

00:33:21.420 i want to play on do i want to play on uh you know do i want to play on the bad news bears that

00:33:27.980 loses every single year like the broncos yeah yeah right do i want to play for the broncos

00:33:32.100 or do i want to play for you know uh the patriots when they're winning super bowls you know what i'm

00:33:37.260 saying right like then you get a chance now now you get to name your path and that's what people

00:33:43.040 don't do that work they they want to jump in on the good team and then they expect them to be pulled

00:33:48.060 along and that's just not reality average players don't go to the university of alabama and get pulled

00:33:53.000 along into greatness they they become great then they go to the team and then they have to work to

00:33:58.560 compete against really great players as well so your job is to make sure you're great it's that simple

00:34:04.880 i love it man i love it guys andy a third and final question hey andy do you think there is a point

00:34:11.660 in living a high standard that can be taken too far when someone ostracizes themselves from reality

00:34:19.600 i have a buddy i speak to every day he's got me into your show um and we're both currently doing

00:34:24.640 75 hard we were speaking about winners and losers where he mentioned some other people we know when

00:34:31.220 when he claimed quote they're all losers this guy this guy and this guy they're just fucking losers

00:34:36.560 the thing that frustrates me about this uh is he and i know we each have a lot of work to do

00:34:42.980 ourselves so hearing him act like he's better than others was frustrating and i was verbally disagreed

00:34:47.720 with him i took a second to think and definitively agree there is validity to what he's saying um

00:34:53.940 however one of the people he mentioned went to prison at a young age and turned into bodybuilding

00:34:58.020 um over the last five years this gentleman has gotten into fantastic shape and continues to follow

00:35:03.180 the good path versus the bad path while still making errors along the way i personally disagree that

00:35:09.180 someone like this isn't a loser he may just not be a winner in the same vision my friend and i have

00:35:15.480 do you believe there is room for different types of winners such as how there is an andy frisella

00:35:21.760 inspiring millions of people through his brands and words and then you have the iron cowboy literally

00:35:27.060 running ultra marathons inspiring people through his work what would you say to someone that is going

00:35:33.580 down the path of excellence that think thinks anyone who isn't working towards absolute excellence

00:35:39.860 or simply doesn't even know what absolute excellence is yet is a full-on loser what's the dynamics here

00:35:46.660 this is an interesting question here well of course i mean we have to take into consideration

00:35:52.840 where people start you not everybody starts at the same place yeah this is why you can't you can't

00:35:59.140 really judge people off the result they're producing without considering where they started and the

00:36:06.060 distance between where they started and where they are is actually what determines how well they're

00:36:10.640 doing so of course there's different people that are great mother theresa great right yeah you know

00:36:18.280 what i'm saying machine dunking baskets like kobe that's what i'm saying kobe bryant great right right

00:36:22.340 you know uh tom brady great these are all different art forms of greatness you know vincent van gogh great

00:36:28.960 you know any of these musicians great like they're not losers because they're not on the same path as this

00:36:34.900 other person and i think it's important for all of us to remember this and i

00:36:39.460 we cannot judge people based upon our scale of what greatness means to us because it means something

00:36:49.800 different to everyone you know uh somebody might be a great fucking parent which is extremely important

00:36:56.200 right um somebody might be a great entrepreneur which is also extremely important and different and

00:37:03.000 while the entrepreneur may get more quote-unquote credit i would argue that the job of being a

00:37:09.000 great parent is equally as important if not more important because it dictates future society all

00:37:14.020 right so we have to look at all of these things and i don't think it's very i don't think it's a good

00:37:19.220 idea or uh accurate to paint with a broad brush when it comes to winners and losers because we're all

00:37:25.940 playing a different game we're all working on different things we all started in different places we all have

00:37:30.600 natural strengths and natural weaknesses that are all different and as long as someone's trying and

00:37:37.640 as long as someone's doing the work and as long as someone's progressing um they're not a fucking loser

00:37:43.480 yeah so so you know i used to be very judgmental about people you know um but what i've come to realize

00:37:50.320 is what i'm telling you you know we can we there's a lot of greatness in different levels but i will say

00:37:54.400 this there are also fucking losers okay so maybe your friend losers do exist you're you you can't

00:38:00.460 there's a line here you can't find the good or the um you know you can't make uh you can't polish a

00:38:10.380 turd all right that's what you can't do like some people just suck some people are losers some people

00:38:15.640 are never going to be to their standard and personally dude when i look at like success

00:38:21.680 being the pursuit of the fulfillment of your ultimate potential as long as someone's chasing that

00:38:29.100 that's a noble thing because when you're pursuing success dude you've got to understand you can never

00:38:37.480 actually fulfill your potential there is no end game all right if you start out on day one and you

00:38:44.340 start pursuing what your potential is on day one because you lack skills and lessons and understanding

00:38:51.540 your potential is x okay let's just say that now as you go down the path and you say i'm going to get

00:39:00.420 to my ultimate potential and it's where it is on day one as you go down the path you're going to have

00:39:06.140 hardships you're going to have lessons you're going to have things that happen that result in new skills

00:39:10.780 those new skills will expand where your potential grows on the back end so now your potential is not

00:39:18.460 x it's x plus two right right or x times two so that's why the pursuit is so noble because you can

00:39:27.900 never really achieve it because at the end of your life if you've committed your entire life to becoming

00:39:33.160 better and better and better and better and you developed this massive amount of skill set well now

00:39:38.260 you're out of time so the potential of what you could be is never actually obtainable even though

00:39:44.180 it's ridiculously great and that's where it comes in you know teaching other people bringing other

00:39:50.160 people along teaching them what you've learned um but i believe that that pursuit is extremely noble

00:39:56.860 because you can never achieve it like and it results in tremendous good for you tremendous good for

00:40:02.480 people around you tremendous good for society and so when we think of like what success really is

00:40:08.040 we have to acknowledge that success in the ultimate form is actually unobtainable in the long run

00:40:16.300 because you're going to continue to expand your potential the more skills the more lessons the

00:40:20.760 more knowledge that you have eventually time's just going to cut that off does that make sense

00:40:24.920 absolutely you're signing up for never ending that's right and that's the thing that's why like

00:40:29.280 when people say in entrepreneurship i'm going to retire by 40 no you're not i made it you're not

00:40:34.080 because if you do you're going to be broke by 45 all right the entrepreneurship personal development

00:40:39.880 um winning this is an endless journey that lasts your whole life it's a lifelong commitment

00:40:45.680 and too many people believe that there is a uh a destination right and as corny as it sounds it is about

00:40:54.580 the journey it's not about the destination and as you go along the journey and you learn more and more

00:40:59.200 and you make more mistakes and you meet new people and you do all these things and have new experiences

00:41:03.280 your ability to do more expands and so you know we have to appreciate what it is that we're working

00:41:10.360 on here we're not working on a project that will ever actually be finished we're working on something

00:41:15.080 that is going to continue to improve continue to get better continue to produce results not just

00:41:21.400 for myself but for other people and uh and that's the way the journey works yeah i love it it's funny

00:41:27.000 i was thinking when you're talking about you know some people just losers some people are just great

00:41:30.340 at losing you know but i wanted to bring this up uh because i feel like you know anybody that's done

00:41:35.860 75 hard can attest to this too like there is there is a point in there where you do start looking

00:41:41.800 around at people around you like fuck man like these people aren't doing it they aren't getting

00:41:46.060 it like there is there is like a like i don't want to call it arrogance but there's something

00:41:50.060 there like right like what what is that that's called the truth yeah you're noticing that you're

00:41:55.260 trying very hard and you're noticing that people around you are not yeah and it becomes very

00:42:00.240 annoying because you're working your ass off and they aren't and they're looking at you saying what

00:42:05.460 the fuck's wrong with you no what's wrong with you right maybe that's what this guy's going through

00:42:09.780 like that's that's where he's at yeah so so you know it's it brings awareness to the reality of the

00:42:16.580 situation and there are people in your life in every single person that's listening this life

00:42:21.920 who are losers they don't try they don't fucking do anything to get better they just float through

00:42:27.900 life they don't contribute to anything they don't build anything they don't create anything they're

00:42:31.420 not trying to become anything they're partying their life away they're existing and by the time

00:42:36.040 they're 45 they look 60 and then they're like well this is just my life this is what i got no bro

00:42:41.460 that's a cop out you chose this you chose all that shit your result of your life is your own doing

00:42:48.020 you were just unaware that the choices that you were making were actually going to have a negative

00:42:52.120 outcome that now you think you are stuck with right so it's a lack of awareness along the journey you

00:42:58.900 know the best thing you could do if you're 20 years old is to realize that it is no matter what your

00:43:03.520 friends say no matter what the the hippy dippy gurus say on the internet no matter what the fucking

00:43:08.780 spiritual guides say on the internet uh the choices you make right now over the next 10 15 years are

00:43:14.460 going to drastically impact what your life looks like and uh there's a lot of people out here telling

00:43:19.820 people that that's not true you got your whole 20s to fuck off and you know what your 30s to fuck

00:43:24.600 off and you could start when you're 40 that's true there's there's examples of that you know henry

00:43:28.640 ford uh colonel sanders we go on and on and on and on and on those are the anomalies they are the

00:43:34.580 exceptions to the rule they are not the rule the typical rule is if you fuck off between the ages of 20 to

00:43:40.500 35 your life's gonna suck that's the norm all right so if you're 20 25 years old and you're

00:43:47.080 sitting here and you're thinking like fuck dude i could travel the world like okay you can you could

00:43:51.160 do a little bit of stuff enjoy your youth i'm all about it bro i'm not saying be a slave to whatever

00:43:55.220 it is you're doing but you better take your life serious and you better make good choices because the

00:43:59.620 choices you make from 20 to 35 are going to dictate the entire rest of your life they're going to

00:44:03.880 dictate how happy you are how much money you have what kind of lifestyle you have who your friends are

00:44:08.660 uh the quality of your life in general will be decided very strongly by the decisions made

00:44:15.920 between that age range and you know what you can do certain things after that you can definitely do

00:44:20.840 it but it's just harder to do you know yeah i fucking love it so i love it i love it man well

00:44:26.600 guys andy that was three all right guys let's go kick ass this week don't be a hoe show

00:44:31.900 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions

00:44:39.280 in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed

00:44:46.840 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - March 18, 2024

670. Q&AF： Aligning Purpose With Goals, Advancing Your Career & Different Types Of Winners

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