REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 686. Q&AF： Becoming Mentally Tough, Working Other Jobs While Building Your Business & Transparency With Employees

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:20.880 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:28.160 have q and af that's where uh we submit that you submit the cues and we give you the as maybe we

00:00:35.680 should start asking that actually be pretty cool yeah we ask you questions yeah i answer them yeah

00:00:40.220 we'll do that next time maybe never so uh you could submit your questions for the show a couple

00:00:46.760 different ways the first way is guys email those questions in to ask andy at andy for seller.com

00:00:51.940 or you go on youtube in the comment section of the q and af episodes and you can drop your question in

00:00:57.300 the comments we'll answer some from there as well now throughout the week we're going to have shows

00:01:01.840 within the show today we've got q and af tomorrow we're going to have cti that is cruise the internet

00:01:07.320 that's where we put up topics of the day on the screen we talk about what we think is true what

00:01:14.200 we think is not true and then we talk about how we the people are solution to these problems uh we're

00:01:19.660 probably going to do a little real talk at some point this week that's five to 20 minutes of me

00:01:23.440 giving you some real talk and then we have 75 hard verses 75 hard verses where someone who

00:01:30.180 needed to get their shit together use 75 hard which is the initial phase of the live hard program

00:01:35.900 to uh gain discipline grit fortitude mental toughness the ability to endure self-esteem self-worth

00:01:43.800 confidence uh and they change their life and so we interview those people and they talk about how

00:01:48.760 they did what they did and how you can do the same and you can find the live hard program including

00:01:53.520 75 hard for free on episode 208 of the audio feed only that's 208 it is free there is a book on my

00:02:02.180 website called the book on mental toughness uh it covers the entire live hard program plus 10 chapters

00:02:08.780 on mental toughness what it is how to develop it and why you need it in life and what it's going to do

00:02:13.700 for you and then we have some case studies on some successful individuals who've used it

00:02:17.080 uh we have this thing on the show we call the fee we say go pay the fee what that means is we don't

00:02:24.380 run ads on the show you're going to notice that and uh we need your help to get the show and the

00:02:30.440 message out okay we're always battling censorship shadow bans traffic throttles things like that

00:02:35.740 um and if you think the message is worth getting out we need you to share it so my agreement is if i'm

00:02:43.140 not going to run ads on the show i'm going to finance the show all by myself i'm going to do all this

00:02:46.780 shit i just ask that you help share the show so don't be a hoe show show all right what's happening

00:02:53.080 what's going on brother nothing dude yeah what's up with you oh nothing much nothing much wrapping

00:02:58.820 the week up um we got coming what's coming up down the pipe we got anything anything crazy coming up

00:03:06.280 i mean apparently your hamburgers are getting limited according to curtis all right guys andy

00:03:11.840 question number one motherfuckers man um no man we do we have anything crazy coming up

00:03:18.560 i don't know do we i don't know i was we got summer smash we got first form where we are going to smash

00:03:25.640 the summer yeah sold out the tickets in 57 seconds that's so fucking crazy man like it's not crazy but

00:03:31.780 it's crazy well that's these guys here listening right now yeah i appreciate you guys man you guys

00:03:36.160 are always backing us up you're always taking care of us you're always supporting what we do

00:03:39.700 you're going to battle for us in the comments it's fucking awesome man we're building quite the

00:03:43.920 quite the movement here it's gonna be a nice little party yeah so i appreciate you guys uh

00:03:48.480 just want to say this i don't say it enough but i really appreciate you guys you know

00:03:51.860 we do come in here every week and we try to put out valuable info and i hope that it

00:03:56.560 makes your life better in some some way and um it's just cool to watch you guys go out and put

00:04:03.300 this information into play and improve your lives and get better and it's just fucking cool man i was

00:04:08.080 just thinking about it on the drive-in today about how fortunate um i am and we are to be able to

00:04:14.260 you know just have this life and that comes from you guys supporting us so i just want to say thank

00:04:18.880 you guys i appreciate the fuck out of it yeah no it's fucking awesome yeah so who's uh who's performing

00:04:23.880 this year yeah we got uh we got we got oh fuck yeah yeah it's gonna be good bro that's gonna be

00:04:33.820 fucking lit yeah throw some no it's gonna be awesome it's gonna be a fucking party of the

00:04:41.160 century yeah it's gonna be awesome

00:04:42.660 fuck man that's awesome yeah i'm excited yeah i'm excited i gotta get my shirt yeah you're gonna

00:04:54.420 wear a shirt with a hamburger on it yeah fuck yeah i will you know but like i'm not a hamburger

00:04:58.980 guy that's the crazy thing no you're you're a refined palate yeah like you're a fancy guy yeah

00:05:04.080 like i mean come on you can do pick anything you know i'm saying but i bet if you made a hamburger

00:05:08.820 it'd be pretty fancy my hamburgers yeah i mean they're nice i don't do it's cheeseburgers oh yeah

00:05:13.920 they gotta be yeah you know but i got hamburgers are fucking peasants i like my i like i make my own

00:05:18.520 aioli i don't know what that is you know what aioli is i put bacon on there yeah no i do like

00:05:24.680 actually emily does i don't do it yeah you put those citos on your shit i would if it were me

00:05:30.760 bro i'd be having like bologna and cheese with doritos on it hey there's something that's the

00:05:34.460 shit i grew up with there is a time and place that shit was awesome there's a time still fucking

00:05:38.540 awesome yeah um then i'll make my own aiolis and uh you know i'll throw some like smoked gouda on

00:05:43.900 there yeah you know i'm saying sounds fancy fancy it's fancy i know dude you it's juicy yeah

00:05:50.420 so like when you were a kid you didn't have anything did you like that's all over the gourmet

00:05:55.200 food that's all i dreamed about really 100 no like i mean my mom could cook her ass off yeah

00:06:00.060 but she wasn't cooking like aioli no fucking no no avocado toast yeah no we had like where'd you

00:06:08.140 get this fancy from cinnamon toast cinnamon toast good cinnamon toast is good that's the struggle meal

00:06:13.020 right there cinnamon toast some good shit yeah cinnamon toast is fire there ain't nothing better uh than

00:06:18.860 the smell of those those cinnamon rolls that's probably the best smell ever dude bro you want

00:06:23.180 to hear some crazy shit you take some saltine crackers joe you know where i'm going with this

00:06:28.060 oh really no you take salt listen saltine crackers you throw some butter on that shit sprinkle it

00:06:33.500 with cinnamon sugar microwave that bitch for like 15 seconds bro listen it'll change your fucking life

00:06:40.420 it actually sounds all right it will change your life you know what i like i like saltine crackers

00:06:45.880 with peanut butter on them i bet you like saltine crackers just plain

00:06:49.160 i actually do bitch yeah

00:06:53.880 yeah yeah i actually do i fucking eat them motherfuckers by the handful

00:07:01.880 i wipe the spices off of my food bro

00:07:05.960 i wipe it off so they bring that shit out i fucking wipe it off just the salt and pepper take

00:07:13.800 it out yeah throw that shit in the trash yeah don't you know i'm white

00:07:19.800 you fuckers trying to choke me with all your spices

00:07:25.080 oh man let's make some people better today andy let's do it guys for more recipes go to

00:07:31.800 andy for seller.com that's right that's right bro we should do that just throw up all the

00:07:35.640 fucking hidden gym recipes on the website no we should do cooking skits where me and you cook stuff

00:07:40.520 let's do it yeah let's do it cheeseburgers first episode no it's peanut butter and jelly

00:07:44.440 competition we do have to have that we do let's do that yeah let's do it for the people all right uh

00:07:49.720 let's get into these questions man we got some good one uh let's start off the first one um

00:07:55.320 got 14 year old here so uh let's get into this first one andy uh guys any question number one hey andy i'm a

00:08:01.480 14 year old who is trying to become more mentally tough and learn confidence and determination i'm

00:08:08.200 currently reading your book on mental toughness i just wanted some advice on how i can develop

00:08:12.920 those things so i can dominate in the things i do and not care about what people say or think

00:08:19.160 thanks a lot well look here's the thing as a young man you know at 14 you're pretty much

00:08:27.160 with it on what's going on in the world okay so anybody who's gonna say oh 14 year olds listen

00:08:32.520 to your show listen that's a young man those those age guys fought wars hundreds of years ago okay so

00:08:39.640 shut the fuck up secondly um look bro the fact that you're aware of this right now at your age is a

00:08:48.200 tremendous advantage for you against everyone else because most people don't figure out what you're

00:08:54.280 talking about until they're probably in their 20s or 30s if they're lucky some people don't figure it

00:09:00.520 out ever so the fact that you're aware of this and the fact that you're wanting to improve that's a

00:09:05.960 tremendous sign man and so this is just going to come down to you waking up you know working hard

00:09:13.000 doing the right things doing the best that you can um and and dude eventually this is going to

00:09:20.840 materialize for you because dude you're so young and you're already driven you're already looking

00:09:25.080 on how to improve you're already looking on how to build a life and i would just say be patient man

00:09:29.960 and keep working keep showing up read the book you know what i'm saying practice the the the tools that

00:09:35.800 are in that book and uh it's it's going to come man i i think the fact that you're you got to

00:09:40.920 understand like when you're young especially you're always like in this phase of uncertainty

00:09:46.440 you know do do am i going to have what it takes do you think i'll be one of the guys that gets to make

00:09:51.000 it do you think if i you know i'll get like i used to think of it like this when i was young

00:09:56.360 like i used to think of it like you got chosen you know like i call it the success fairy like the

00:10:04.440 success fairy floated down from the sky and took its magic wand and tapped certain people on the

00:10:10.760 head and those are the people that get to make it and that's what i always thought growing up and

00:10:15.320 that's entirely untrue the truth is like we talk about frequently on the show is that it's inputs and

00:10:22.520 outputs and it doesn't matter what age you are it doesn't matter when you start it doesn't matter if

00:10:26.280 you're 14 it doesn't matter if you're 54 it doesn't matter what matters is is that you put in the

00:10:31.880 inputs and the outputs will come so as long as you're 14 years old and you're starting to put

00:10:36.760 in the inputs and you're aware of the concepts of training and putting yourself through intentionally

00:10:42.120 difficult things to improve your mental resilience and your mental toughness you're going to be fine

00:10:47.640 man so that's what it's going to take to make it if you continue down that path you will be one of

00:10:53.480 those people that everybody else thinks has chosen all right so keep working keep doing you know keep

00:11:00.440 focused don't get wrapped up in all this stuff that your friends are in you know make sure you're

00:11:04.840 having some fun with your friends but don't do the the drugs and the alcohol and all the

00:11:10.040 shit that gets you off track stay on track and uh good things are going to happen man yeah what's your

00:11:16.040 take because i feel like you know that young generation man i think at first i think this is

00:11:19.480 awesome we got i love a young young kid man because it's it's very refreshing to see that

00:11:25.720 right like yeah like i think about when we went to the washington fair almost every day bro yeah like

00:11:29.640 and seeing those just young men or like at curtis uh curtis's family yeah like his young boys man like

00:11:34.440 like it's refreshing to see but i also feel like there's a counter to this too where it's like you know

00:11:39.720 the young generation man some of these young kids they can be so like vile to each other like just

00:11:46.280 fucking animal sweet child like just me there's a lot of pent-up emotions and animosity and like i

00:11:51.320 mean we see this stuff all the time on the internet just these young kids losing their minds you know

00:11:56.600 doing crazy things what would be your recommendation and not necessarily just to young people but just

00:12:01.560 people in general how do you quiet out the noise and the distractions of the world dude i think i said

00:12:08.760 this on the last q and a f it is it is literally irrelevant it's irrelevant what other people say

00:12:15.560 and once you come to understand that the noise quiets okay if you can understand that it is irrelevant

00:12:23.640 what people gossip it is irrelevant what they say it is irrelevant if they laugh it is irrelevant if

00:12:28.840 they doubt you it is irrelevant if they talk shit and you understand that the only thing is relevant

00:12:34.760 is what you do you're going to succeed and so how do you silence the noise you silence the noise by

00:12:41.800 accepting what reality is has nothing to do with those people has everything to do with your actions

00:12:46.920 and if you're smart you will take that negativity and you will draw the energy out of it and you will

00:12:52.680 let that propel you with productive action and that is that is how you do that okay because it's never

00:12:58.120 going to stop and the bigger you get the more people talk dude i have people talk shit on me every day

00:13:03.640 for no other reason that i'm that i'm doing stuff with my life and i've you know to this point been

00:13:09.800 very successful and that bothers people and people don't like that and i don't give a shit because i

00:13:15.160 know that if i keep doing what i'm doing i'm going to get where i want to go and that's the attitude

00:13:19.400 everybody should have everybody should understand that other people's opinions other people's gossip

00:13:25.240 other people's shit talk other people's hate is legitimately irrelevant and the only time it becomes

00:13:30.920 relevant is when we stop the actions that we're putting in because it paralyzes us because it

00:13:37.880 creates doubt it creates uncertainty it creates embarrassment for us and so we stop taking action

00:13:43.480 and then we stop moving forward but those two things are actually unrelated because that's a decision

00:13:48.600 that we're making as an individual so if you want to turn it down accept reality it's irrelevant and all

00:13:55.800 that's relevant is what you do and then learn to use the energy in a productive way so that when you

00:14:02.680 do hear and see these things you're like well fuck that person and you go out and you do the thing even

00:14:09.080 harder so that's that's how you do that man is it almost fair to say like it's almost ignorant to

00:14:14.200 think that you can completely like the noise doesn't stop it's still there it's just whether or not you're

00:14:19.880 choosing to look at it or or take it into no dude you you're gonna see it like and you're gonna look

00:14:25.640 at it and you're gonna hear it that's my point yeah there's no avoiding it right you can't control

00:14:31.160 what people say you can't control that they're negative you can't control that they hate their

00:14:35.560 own lives and for that reason they project it onto you can't control that and you are going to see

00:14:40.280 it especially with social media especially with you know the way that we communicate in society right

00:14:46.600 now and what you guys have to understand is that if you're not okay dealing with this you cannot

00:14:53.640 make it you cannot make it because it gets more and more and more and more and more the bigger you

00:15:00.040 get so i would get comfortable with it right now that way it's not a problem later okay because a lot

00:15:06.280 of people they do okay they do okay they do okay they do okay and then it gets to be too much and they

00:15:12.120 stop and you don't want to be one of those people either so i would suggest that as a new ambitious

00:15:19.640 person in the game whether you're 14 or 44 that you learn to deal with this in a productive way

00:15:28.440 immediately because it's going to serve you the rest of your life there's no changing that that's

00:15:32.920 like saying hey i wish i could change the weather and make it never rain ever again well dude i i guess

00:15:40.440 that would be cool like you can't do it no you just buy a fucking umbrella that's it and you keep

00:15:44.760 moving yeah i fucking love that i love it guys andy question number two uh andy you've mentioned in

00:15:50.280 the past that you worked other jobs to stay on your feet while running your businesses in the early

00:15:54.920 years what jobs did you do and what would you recommend i guess if they were in the same situation

00:16:01.560 how did you balance it i guess yeah i did a lot of different things um i worked at a bar uh i worked

00:16:08.120 at a gym i did side jobs concrete building fences um i put on concerts that was one thing i did that was

00:16:20.840 probably the the best thing i did to make money um

00:16:27.000 what else did i do i mean did did like junk cleanup side jobs whatever the i could do man yeah

00:16:33.960 just ins and outs yeah right yeah yeah whatever i needed to do yeah but the main gigs were the the

00:16:39.960 bar and the music production those were things i did consistently for a number of years and how did

00:16:45.400 you balance that i guess i mean because starting a business has its own challenges and so how were you

00:16:49.480 able to balance the the having to work those ins and outs jobs while also running the business as

00:16:55.800 well like how how how did that was it becomes time you gotta realize i didn't have a choice

00:17:01.160 it was either do it or be out of business so i didn't have a choice so i had to do it so like

00:17:07.000 i it wasn't about balance it was about did it get done and so i would work at the store chris and i

00:17:14.040 would work at the store during the day and at night we would do the other you know and

00:17:18.600 on the weekends we were closed on sundays for the first seven years um and that's when i would do the

00:17:24.360 side shit can we talk a little bit because i mean like there there's a lot of things that you went

00:17:30.840 through early on in the business right you know from sleeping on the mattress to you know having

00:17:35.160 to work those sides can we just talk a minute i guess when when we're looking at entrepreneurship

00:17:40.520 about sacrifices and what real sacrifices will look like for those that are trying to get into the

00:17:45.960 entrepreneur space yeah they're gonna look like miss birthday parties missed weddings missed holidays

00:17:51.960 they're gonna look like missed events out on the weekends it's total commitment that's the problem

00:17:57.800 that people fail to realize like it's not balance is later bro about the in the early fucking first

00:18:05.880 five years of whatever it is you're building there there's nothing there like you if you go into it

00:18:11.400 thinking man i gotta get this balanced out i gotta make this balanced i gotta have a balanced lifestyle

00:18:16.600 you're gonna get destroyed because it takes way more than that it takes exponentially more than that

00:18:23.640 it takes fucking everything you have it's total chaos and it's total desperation to even survive

00:18:30.680 if you're bootstrapping and you're coming up with nothing so that's the commitment and now we have all

00:18:36.440 these weak little fucking pussies that don't know anything about anything that are influenced by these

00:18:42.040 fake entrepreneurs on the internet who think that they can get rich in a week and when it doesn't

00:18:47.320 happen they get pissed off bro you're being lied to it's hard it takes time it's total commitment

00:18:54.600 and anything less than that you're gonna fail that's the reality and people like to argue with me about

00:19:00.200 that well motherfucker every time i argue with someone about that let's take a bank check on what

00:19:05.480 the fuck they've done versus what i've done okay it's not comparable shit so you can argue with me but

00:19:11.720 let's compare results it takes everything bro that's what it takes and i'm not saying you can't

00:19:17.080 earn a living with less than that i'm not saying you can't have a nice little side business with less

00:19:22.680 than that but that's not what i'm talking about here i come here and i give you guys the perspective

00:19:27.560 of how to be great not how to be okay not how to compete but how to win fucking championships

00:19:35.240 that's the perspective i'm speaking from so if you want you know if you want balance and you

00:19:40.760 want to make a few thousand dollars extra certainly there's opportunities for that but that's not what

00:19:46.120 i'm talking about when i talk about these things i'm talking about taking something from idea to

00:19:53.160 implementation to success at a high level and doing it at scale in a big way i'm not talking about

00:20:01.240 selling fucking magnets on amazon bro i'm talking about building a real company so you know uh understand

00:20:09.560 that's the perspective i speak from i speak from the perspective of highest level of performance

00:20:14.200 possible and so many people don't understand the truth and the reality because it is so misrepresented

00:20:22.840 on the internet that they blame themselves when they can't get anything going when they've been sold

00:20:28.920 a bill of goods about the process that just isn't even true and if we're honest with each with each

00:20:34.040 other you're the one who's a fucking idiot because you're the one looking at people and taking their

00:20:39.400 advice and realizing not realizing that they haven't built anything and they haven't created anything and

00:20:44.600 they're making all their money just selling you some bullshit that they never actually did so like

00:20:49.320 dude that's your fault because you're looking for the hack you're looking for the secret and as long

00:20:54.680 as you look for the hack and you look for the secret there are going to be plenty of predators out

00:20:58.680 there that are willing to take your money and tell you okay but i'm telling you that that is

00:21:04.840 fucking not true okay and i'm telling you the reason that you don't have people selling courses

00:21:10.760 that say this is because that's a hard course to sell okay hey it's going to take everything you got

00:21:16.520 it's going to take way longer than you think you're going to lose all your friends along

00:21:20.280 the way yeah you're going to make new friends but you're going to spend a lot of time alone

00:21:23.720 you're going to be stressed you're going to be tired you're going to be frustrated you're going

00:21:26.840 to be angry you're going to get bitter sometimes you're going to want to quit every motherfucking

00:21:30.600 day how do you sell that to someone yeah that's a hard sale but that's the reality of entrepreneurship

00:21:37.480 in the real game okay and yeah it is fun and yes you do win but the amount of times you win

00:21:44.760 is two percent and the amount of times you lose is 98 and you don't have any of these

00:21:49.480 motherfuckers on the internet talking about their losses bro i lose way more than i win there's way

00:21:54.520 more times than that i try shit and it doesn't work that i try shit and it does work you just

00:22:00.840 don't see the shit that it doesn't work because it doesn't work you see what i'm saying so like

00:22:05.880 dude anybody out here who's acting like they got the golden touch and they have the secret and they

00:22:10.840 have bro they're fucking bullshit they're fucking liars they're stealing your money they're

00:22:15.240 fucking gonna sell you a bill of goods it's never gonna happen for you and what's gonna end up

00:22:19.080 happen is you're gonna spend two years doing this two years on the next hack two years on

00:22:24.360 before you're in it you're 12 years deep you wasted 12 years that could have been put into something

00:22:28.440 real and you're gonna be bitter about it and you're probably gonna just say it i'll just take a job

00:22:33.240 doing this and you'll live your whole life saying i wish i could have done that you know you know i was

00:22:40.120 thinking when you were answering this it's like it almost makes me look at this idea of personal

00:22:44.520 freedom a little bit differently too right because you're saying like in the beginning where

00:22:49.160 you know you're having to turn things down and say no by force right and so you have to go through

00:22:54.840 that in order to get to a place in life where you can say no by choice right like oh no i'm not going

00:22:59.480 to this simply because i don't want to fucking go right in the beginning it's like no i couldn't go

00:23:03.000 because i had to fucking work yeah you know and so it makes it it looks at personal i mean it makes

00:23:07.160 me look at personal freedom a little bit differently because i feel like you know the idea of entrepreneurship

00:23:12.520 is that you're gonna the moment you become an entrepreneur you're immediately free to do

00:23:16.360 whatever the fuck you want to do yeah and i guess technically you are but at what cost you know

00:23:22.280 what i'm saying well i mean bro it's pretty nice to not have to do anything that you don't want to do

00:23:27.880 yeah i mean i like that in fact i opt out of almost everything you know what i mean i don't want to do

00:23:33.560 shit yeah i want to do my life this is my life here that's my life at home i like my life and i don't

00:23:38.760 really give a shit about anything else yeah you know so but that's earned right yeah you gotta pay

00:23:44.760 your dues for that you got to that place yeah but like dude you know a lot of these kids and these

00:23:51.400 young people are all focused on just cash flow so they can go buy a fucking lambo bro yeah you don't

00:23:56.360 want to do that you want to spend your time building a real business that has

00:24:01.560 an equitable value on the back end so yes you can make money along the way but eventually you get

00:24:09.080 to a point where that business is worth tens hundreds of millions of dollars where you don't

00:24:14.040 have to fucking come up with a new widget every two weeks you see what i'm saying and a lot of these

00:24:19.000 guys are so impatient that they don't want to put that time into creating anything real anymore and

00:24:24.040 it's very frustrating yeah that's real shit man uh guys andy question number three uh what's up andy

00:24:31.800 i want to give you a quick thank you uh for all you and the fellas do it's changed my life for the

00:24:36.600 better i'm 25 years old and just opened my first business a home health agency i'm currently in the

00:24:43.080 hiring process for caregivers and want to be totally transparent with them as i am a first-time business

00:24:49.800 owner let alone a first timer in the healthcare industry my question is can you be too transparent

00:24:56.200 with employees i want to keep them in the loop on the health of the business business functions

00:25:02.280 um and that there are maybe bumps in the road as a startup but i will also do everything in my power

00:25:07.960 to take care of them any advice on this is much appreciated transparency from ownership to employees how

00:25:13.160 does that work how should it work well it depends on what we're talking about here i mean if you're

00:25:20.920 coming up to people and you're saying hey man i don't know i'm a first-time business owner which

00:25:25.880 just sounds like what you're doing here okay hey i don't know you know like hey i'm just trying this

00:25:31.080 i'm a first-time business owner with like no confidence your people are not going to believe in

00:25:34.840 you which means they're not going to stay there and they're not going to buy in they're not going to do

00:25:37.640 a good job they're going to see the job as some sort of bridge to the next thing because you're

00:25:42.040 lacking the confidence to assert yourself as a leader you're the leader it's your company

00:25:47.160 you have to walk in there and say hey i'm going to do the best i can we're going to do this what's

00:25:52.920 the vision how are we doing this how are we going to break this down what steps are we going to take

00:25:57.160 you know most people that own businesses don't even understand where they're taking the business

00:26:00.680 five years from now where are you taking the business five years from now what's that vision look

00:26:04.680 like how does your employees life fit into that what's that going to look like right you don't walk in

00:26:10.760 and say i don't know what i'm doing even if you don't know what you're doing okay so yeah there

00:26:15.960 is a way to be too transparent especially in the beginning when people are questioning you anyway you

00:26:21.800 don't want to reinforce their doubt you want to be optimistic you want to paint a picture you want

00:26:26.440 to say this is what i'm going to do this is the intent for the business this is where you could build

00:26:30.840 your career this is how we're going to do it this is how i want you to help us and and take charge

00:26:37.000 yeah you see what i'm saying but like as far as transparency in terms of performance yeah that's

00:26:43.320 an absolute because people can't know that they need to improve if they don't know what the problem

00:26:50.040 is so yeah the transparency on performance metrics and data and all these things that's a real thing

00:26:55.960 that you have to have but transparency on like my feelings or my mental health or my bro your job as a

00:27:04.680 leader is to keep as much shit off of your employees fucking shoulders that you possibly can

00:27:11.400 to allow them to effectively do their role so that the entire machine operates efficiently and

00:27:18.680 effectively okay so if you're coming in there every day and you're being transparent about oh i'm having

00:27:24.760 mental health day and i'm oh i'm not sure about i'm having really a lot of self-doubt and you're acting

00:27:31.400 like you're fucking some therapy patient to your employees bro they're all gonna fucking quit

00:27:36.520 okay you have to learn some fucking mental toughness and some strength i'd go read every leadership book

00:27:42.200 that you could get your hands on bro and i look yourself in the mirror when you wake up in the

00:27:46.040 morning and say i'm the fucking man and i'm gonna dominate my motherfucking day every day because it

00:27:50.680 sounds like you're lacking confidence i'd also do 75 hard so you get some belief in yourself yeah yeah do you

00:27:57.640 you think that changes too because like i know for you it was you were what six years in before you

00:28:01.320 got your your first employee yeah you know but like does does that fear of i guess that fear of

00:28:07.480 having to lead somebody for that first time right like you and chris worked in six years that's

00:28:11.560 brotherhood right right but then you add in this this new person the stranger you never met and now

00:28:16.440 there's this responsibility that's there right like what what was that like what is that fear like and

00:28:21.560 does it matter how far in the business you are for that fear to go away well first of all when i got

00:28:27.080 my first employees i didn't under i didn't know i didn't understand the idea of uh being responsible

00:28:32.600 for their careers i just looked at it like most people look at it like here's a job here's the money

00:28:39.160 do the job okay but that's not enough and people will resent you for that people want to contribute they

00:28:45.720 want to build they want to have responsibility they want to have meaning they want to have purpose

00:28:50.280 they want to have value and if you don't allow them to do that they're not going to stay okay so

00:28:58.280 when you when i started you know i looked at it as like do this i'll pay you here's what it is and

00:29:04.680 that didn't work very well we had high turnover we had people that came and went and it's pretty much

00:29:09.160 we were pretty much like every other business but when i got clear on what we were going to do and i

00:29:13.640 made it very clear that we were doing it i followed it up with real action that's where culture

00:29:17.720 started to change around and that's where we started having people buy in and that's where

00:29:21.960 everybody started rowing in unison and that's how we got to this point we got to this point

00:29:26.360 by working and caring and investing and developing hundreds of individuals over the course of time

00:29:33.480 and there's no you know employee tree that you can go pick model employees off of i get this question

00:29:40.200 all the time where do you get all your people your people are all excellent our people are excellent

00:29:44.840 because they put the time in to develop themselves because we put the time in to direct them in that

00:29:49.480 way we can't do all the work for them they do the work but we definitely work very hard to instill the

00:29:55.320 idea of their responsibility of their own personal development and they do it the good ones do and um

00:30:02.280 you know it's weird to me that business owners are totally oblivious to that role that they have which

00:30:09.720 is to professionally and personally develop their people so you know yeah man back in the day when

00:30:16.520 i started i i sucked as a leader and that's why i can speak on it now because i was terrible

00:30:22.360 and all the things i just said i learned through mistakes and i learned over time and i can promise

00:30:27.480 you i'm telling you the right because i know what works and i know what doesn't work because i've done

00:30:31.240 both of them yeah well i think it's no surprise either that you know you still got employees from that

00:30:35.960 first group right like yeah 17 years yeah 17 18 years you know so it's like obviously there's

00:30:41.880 something bro and i have a number of people who have left here and went on to create very successful

00:30:47.080 businesses of their own or have very successful careers and other things outside of their own

00:30:51.720 and we're still great friends to this day and they value the time they came here because they were able

00:30:56.600 to learn so much and get in that habit of developing them their skill set which allowed them to go out in

00:31:01.960 the world and be successful and ultimately that's the coolest thing as a business owner when you have

00:31:07.240 your people inside thriving and then you have your people that end up leaving going out and thriving

00:31:11.960 too that's fucking cool man it feels good it feels like you're doing it the right way you're making

00:31:16.680 people better and that's a very rewarding thing like when i lay my head down at night i am very proud of

00:31:22.600 the work that we've done with people have there been some bad eggs that we've you know yeah of course

00:31:27.560 that's that's how it works but the reality is is if you invest in your people and you get them on the

00:31:32.680 track of learning how to develop them themselves they will they will develop themselves and they'll

00:31:36.840 be very grateful for you putting them on that path and a lot of business owners don't take that

00:31:40.920 responsibility because they think like i said here's the money do the job and that's never going to

00:31:47.240 create the culture that's never going to create the big project that's never going to materialize

00:31:52.120 into the thing that you wanted to materialize in you have to actually build relationships with these

00:31:57.640 people um that's real and authentic and genuine you have to give a fuck about them that's what it

00:32:03.080 comes down to you have to give a fuck i love it man let's do some uh extra sauce yeah i'll do some

00:32:08.920 extra sauce we're 30 minutes in we got do one more let's get some sauce in here then uh guys any

00:32:13.800 question number four any uh thank you for everything you and your team provide truly has helped me a ton over

00:32:20.680 the last four years um i'm not where i want to be yet but i am light years ahead of where i ever

00:32:27.480 thought i would be um since i've started to take my personal development more seriously i've leveled

00:32:33.160 up greatly i don't feel bad about the people i've had to cut out of my life but lately i feel a guilt at

00:32:39.800 times specifically with how i am living my life the vehicle i have the house my wife and i recently

00:32:46.040 purchased random other things i'm able to enjoy because uh some of the financial freedoms we've

00:32:51.480 been able to experience i don't have any fuck you money yet but i am working on it is it normal to

00:32:58.200 have a sense of guilt when you are moving on and leveling up is it normal to feel a certain way when

00:33:04.360 you want more than what you had growing up or what your friends are doing or am i overthinking things and

00:33:10.280 i just need to watch my own bobber and keep grinding number one i think it is common for

00:33:16.680 people to feel that way but let me explain to you why you shouldn't feel that way all right when you

00:33:22.680 feel that way and you look around and you look at like other people's beaters and their lifestyle and

00:33:28.040 you're driving an escalade and you feel good or whatever right like whatever you've got going on

00:33:32.600 your level of success and you you look at them and you're like fuck you know and you get that

00:33:39.800 little twinge of like guilt i want you to remember all the nights all the weekends all the long hours

00:33:47.480 all the missed vacations all the missed holidays all the missed ball games all the missed events

00:33:53.080 that you passed on to get ahead that they went and enjoyed okay you paid the price they did not pay

00:34:00.520 the price you've earned what you have and they have also earned what they have okay so when you

00:34:09.000 look at it you need to stop and you need to remember all the hard shit that you did and then after you

00:34:15.640 go through that little visualization process you need to look yourself in the mirror and say

00:34:20.360 motherfucker i earned that shit fuck anybody that doesn't like it that's the first thing okay because

00:34:25.800 you did earn it if you didn't earn it you wouldn't have it all right unless you were a trust fund kid

00:34:31.320 or something which i'm assuming you're not no con man you would if you were that selling courses hold

00:34:35.480 on if you were that you wouldn't feel guilty about it right okay right so that's the first part the

00:34:41.080 second part is is that you have an obligation to be successful you have an obligation to live a great

00:34:49.160 life you have an obligation to get more and build more and create more than your parents did for you

00:34:55.240 that is the point that is why people have kids to progress them down the path of life if they're

00:35:03.800 decent parents and if we look at the bible the bible even talks about this it talks about wasting your

00:35:10.920 potential it talks about not going out and using your gifts it talks about that as being the greatest slap

00:35:17.800 in the face to god that you could possibly have so you are meant to go do this biblically

00:35:26.120 to go out and be the most that you can and here's the third part of it we live in a world right now

00:35:32.280 and the reason that you feel guilty is because we're filled with victim culture we're filled with a

00:35:38.200 bunch of soft people who don't want to go out and create anything they don't want to work they want

00:35:44.440 to sit on their ass they want to scroll they want to watch netflix they want to eat fucking shit from

00:35:49.080 uber eats and they want to be fat little fucking bitches and complain about how they don't have

00:35:54.680 anything well what you have to understand is we as the entrepreneurs we as the driven people the

00:36:01.320 ambitious people in society have an obligation to set the tone for the next generation your children

00:36:09.560 their friends their friends friends should be looking at you being like i want to be like mr

00:36:15.160 stevens he's fucking kicking ass he's bro and that's noble that's a noble thing so when you feel guilty

00:36:22.920 and you feel like oh man because we all what we all do is we paint this usually what happens is we have

00:36:29.240 one or two comments that we've gotten from someone along the way right and those comments get burned into

00:36:34.920 our heart burned into our mind and then we go to like you know do something that you know we know

00:36:41.320 that person wouldn't approve of and we hesitate all right and dude what you're doing in that position

00:36:47.160 is you are literally stealing the inspiration from the people coming behind you because you're afraid of

00:36:54.600 some fucking loser having a comment about your shit okay i had a guy write me recently and his message

00:37:01.640 was like hey man look i love everything you say but let me tell you something when i get home from

00:37:07.960 working 12 hour days on the construction site the last thing i want to do is see your fucking cars on

00:37:12.440 my instagram well then unfollow bitch because i like cars and i've earned them and fuck you if you don't

00:37:18.280 like them i don't give a shit it's my fucking page with my name at the top you know that page with your

00:37:24.360 name at the top that's where you post the shit that you like and fucking that's what i fucking told

00:37:29.320 them so i don't give a shit about what people say or think and neither should you and every time you

00:37:35.080 feel guilty think of those three things think of one you've earned it okay two it's a biblical calling

00:37:43.400 if you are god's child he wants you to go out and expand your potential and pursue your potential as

00:37:50.520 much as possible and shine as bright as possible it says that in the bible okay three it's an obligation

00:37:59.160 of the future generations of the united states of america the way that we fix what's going on in

00:38:03.960 the world is by fixing the culture and the way to fix the culture is by training a bunch of young

00:38:08.120 savages to go out and kick ass and be good people okay and you got to show them the kick ass part you

00:38:14.360 got to show them what that looks like they got to be able to see it they got to be able to point at

00:38:18.680 your car when they drive by and one day they say that's going to be my car we have to do that

00:38:24.360 right okay and that's an obligation so don't feel bad roll your windows down turn that dmx up and

00:38:31.560 what anybody says about it i love it dmx though i like dmx dmx is a good you yeah this is you know

00:38:42.520 but where my dog's at yeah that's right i feel you that's right i got you i love it man well guys andy

00:38:48.120 that was four yeah don't be a whore yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze

00:38:54.920 fuck a bowl fucker stole counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted slow got her on bankroll can't

00:39:01.960 fold doesn't know headshot case close

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - April 15, 2024

686. Q&AF： Becoming Mentally Tough, Working Other Jobs While Building Your Business & Transparency With Employees

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