REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 705. Q&AF： Redirecting Your Team After A Loss, Difference Between Busy And Productive & The Golden Rule Of Respect

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realist sake about the lies

00:00:21.260 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:26.360 have q and af we always like to start the week off with some good knowledge in your dome and that's

00:00:32.200 we're going to do today uh now if you want to submit questions for the show there's a couple

00:00:36.840 ways you can do that the first way is guys you can email these questions into ask andy at andy

00:00:42.080 for selling.com or you can go on youtube in the comment sections of the q and af episodes and

00:00:47.400 drop your question in there we'll answer some from there as well now through the week we're going to

00:00:51.460 have different formats of the show their shows within the show okay tomorrow you're going to

00:00:56.560 hear cti that stands for cruise the internet cruise the internet is where we put topics on the screen

00:01:01.760 we speculate on what's true on what's not true we try to figure out what's really going on and then

00:01:06.180 we talk about what we the people have to do to solve these problems going on in the world other

00:01:11.060 times we're going to have real talk real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real

00:01:15.640 talk and then uh we have 75 hard verses now if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the initial

00:01:22.440 phase of the live hard program which is available for free at episode 208 75 hard and live hard are

00:01:29.960 the world's most popular mental transformation programs in history and they're free you get them

00:01:37.320 for free at episode 208 on the audio feed now there is a book called the book on mental toughness

00:01:43.000 available on my website andy for seller.com it will go through the entire live hard program plus

00:01:49.080 10 extra chapters on mental toughness why it's important how you can apply it and how you can use

00:01:54.040 it to build the life of your dreams there's also some case studies in there of some very famous people

00:01:59.480 they talk about how they use mental toughness uh to get where they're going and uh yeah it's not

00:02:04.440 required but if you're someone like me that likes to know the ins and outs um it's a great book we

00:02:10.360 can't keep it in stock so there's that now we do have a fee for the show and the fee is very simple

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00:02:23.240 size that doesn't do that i finance the entire show out of my pocket and i do that because i don't

00:02:28.760 want to answer to other people telling me what i can and can't say on the show all right and in

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00:02:39.720 shadow bans traffic throttles on all platforms and so for the show to get out i need your help

00:02:47.000 and we call that the fee so uh tell one person man every every time you get an episode if it makes

00:02:53.080 you think if it makes you laugh it gives you a new perspective teaches you some new knowledge which

00:02:57.560 you're definitely going to learn today please share the show and do that for every show you know if the

00:03:02.280 episode's good share it if you don't get any value no obligation it's kind of on the honor system so uh

00:03:07.880 don't be a hoe show the show all right hey what's up man how you doing good yeah how are you all right 1.00

00:03:14.040 man it's uh it's good days monday yeah had a good weekend yep we're also here from the solar flares

00:03:19.880 apparently huh solar flares are coming in apparently we had solar flares friday night that's what they're

00:03:27.240 saying hold on everybody knows we record the show on friday man oh okay all right i mean is he fooling you

00:03:34.120 guys well i didn't know if they do or not yeah dude i was trying to keep it in character it is in

00:03:40.280 character except for it's the wrong one oh okay well we got solar flares tonight so hopefully when you

00:03:44.760 guys are listening to this we're still here dj's over here trying to pull fast one you guys

00:03:51.720 i feel like that's how i've always done that though yeah but they know oh you want to just pretend

00:03:56.760 like it is no it's fine no we'll just pretend it's fine we'll do it live no we'll just keep pretending

00:04:01.560 the way you want it to be i had a great weekend man okay we'll do a lot what'd you do this weekend

00:04:06.840 what'd you do i don't know yet

00:04:11.720 what hold on how was your weekend yeah it was you know i don't yeah it was good was it what'd you do

00:04:19.400 oh oh dude they're on to us i'm just trying to you know keep it right you know we'll do a lot

00:04:26.200 fuck it we'll do a live i do want to start doing the show live i think our monday i think i think we 0.82

00:04:31.880 should start doing the show live on mondays yeah we do them do them at like 10 a.m in the morning

00:04:36.520 bro and then like just produce them into a regular episode it has to be on tuesdays though

00:04:42.840 why because we record on mondays for the ctis no no it'd be live a live cti yeah oh it'd be live like

00:04:53.160 we would put the internet up there and we just start talking about it all right yeah i'm down

00:04:58.280 with that yeah we just start doing that what the fuck are you talking about bro when do you think i 0.87

00:05:04.040 actually do my work i do before i come here yeah before he starts playing entrepreneur yeah before

00:05:09.640 i start playing yeah if i don't get up if i don't get up early and take a couple hours at home bro i can't

00:05:14.600 do shit you're up at 4 a.m no i mean you do your green tea regiment no i'm up at 4 a.m taking a pee 0.97

00:05:20.600 because my enlarged prostate because i'm in my mid-40s yeah all right let's do the show oh

00:05:29.320 shit these people trying to get better oh man just telling them lies that's crazy

00:05:36.040 that's why i'm in large prostate

00:05:40.040 fuck man i just say that so i can get the finger in the butt you know hey yeah 0.99

00:05:44.200 i gotta be 40 to do that huh huh what all right let's go come on let's make people better man

00:05:52.600 that's what we're here for hope you guys are having a great start to your mondays

00:05:56.360 um i had a great weekend though yeah weekends fire yeah

00:06:02.280 guys andy question number one uh hey andy how do you redirect your teams after a loss

00:06:09.400 uh my team for the most part uh have been grinding and working towards our goal for

00:06:14.280 this grant for the last six months uh and just plainly it didn't get it um i've been scratching

00:06:19.480 my head trying to figure out where we went wrong but man i think for all of us we're we're just kind

00:06:24.520 of mentally drained right now um what have you found to be the best way to redirect and recover

00:06:29.800 to move forward for the teams well look

00:06:32.120 this is going to happen over and over and over again there's going to be a number of times through

00:06:38.360 your business career where you're going to work very hard towards something you're going to have

00:06:42.760 your team putting a lot of effort into things and it just doesn't work out that's called

00:06:47.640 entrepreneurship and business it's a normal thing and it does suck the wind out of your sales right

00:06:53.000 when you have all this investment and all this time and all this energy and all this money invested

00:06:57.160 into a project and it kind of fizzles and doesn't work out the way you want it to

00:07:00.440 it can be completely demoralizing for everybody but it's up to the leader of the team to come in

00:07:07.720 and remind them that this is the way it goes sometimes okay just like sports just like any

00:07:13.160 other competitive endeavor we're going to have situations where we put all of our practice time

00:07:17.960 all of our effort we're going to train hard we're going to eat right we're going to do everything that

00:07:22.040 we can and we're still going to lose the game sometimes and that's the reality so the best thing that

00:07:27.560 you can do is to walk in and say hey guys i know that we've put a lot of effort in i appreciate

00:07:32.600 i'm very proud of the effort that you put in nobody here was an anchor in the boat everybody here was

00:07:38.360 doing what they could do it just didn't work out what do we learn through this process and then i

00:07:43.560 start writing on the board i'd say i let them have an open forum what do you think we learned one person

00:07:49.880 raised their hand we learned this right i write that on the board that's a good thing what else did we

00:07:53.800 learn we learned how to do this okay that's a good thing we learned how to do this okay that's

00:07:57.960 a good thing now we learned all these new things as a group as a team um let's figure out how we can

00:08:03.240 apply them moving forward because let's not forget guys that we have this bigger mission that we're

00:08:06.920 working on and even though this didn't work out we still have this to do so let's put this behind

00:08:12.920 us let's chalk it up to a learning lesson we all learned we all got better and now let's move forward

00:08:17.640 on this and automatically shift their their wallowing or they're you know feeling bad or

00:08:26.360 their negative feelings towards the situation into a new mission as quickly as possible because if you

00:08:32.680 let them wallow in it or or sulk in it it makes it worse it festers it starts to get infected and then

00:08:39.160 you develop things like you know cancerous people in the organization who are like man you know we did

00:08:45.080 all that shit and it didn't work out well fuck dude that's how the business works that's part of 0.86

00:08:49.240 the deal so the main thing you got to do here is you have to acknowledge them for the hard work they

00:08:55.240 put in you have to take inventory of the lessons that we learn and then we have to pivot into a new

00:09:01.000 mission immediately okay so once we say hey that was yesterday the loss is over this is what it is

00:09:08.920 we're going to move forward here and interestingly enough the the same formula applies when you have

00:09:14.600 a big win all right when you have a big win you're going to go in there and you're gonna say all right

00:09:18.760 guys good job we won what do we learn we learn this we learn this we learn this we learn this we learn this

00:09:25.000 okay now realize we can't ride that win we can't sit here and say oh we did this one time that's just

00:09:31.560 part of the bigger mission all right we have this big mission to do so from today on we're going to

00:09:37.880 focus here so the process of addressing a loss or addressing a win is structurally the same right

00:09:44.440 acknowledge the work take inventory of the lessons redirect into the mission and move forward from

00:09:50.360 there does that make sense that makes perfect sense man when you talk about specifically on the

00:09:54.920 loss side of things right acknowledging the hard work you know like in this case because it sounds like

00:10:00.440 two things can be true at once right like yes you guys worked your ass off but still another the 0.50

00:10:04.920 other team was just better right or whatever well dude there's lots of things that could happen man i

00:10:09.240 mean look so it's sometimes it's not even better sometimes in business it's you know you're working

00:10:16.520 on a grant and the other guy at the company is his uncle's on the grant board right there's things

00:10:21.960 like this yes so there are there there are things that are out of our control relationship wise in

00:10:27.720 business that sometimes you know we can work very hard to be the best option and still lose and uh

00:10:34.920 that's not very often but it could happen and what i'm saying and the reason i'm bringing this up is

00:10:39.400 there are things out of our control that could dictate whether we win or lose but we have to control

00:10:45.080 what we can control the best of our abilities and present the best possible outcome that we are in

00:10:50.200 control of yeah let me so so with that on the the the acknowledging the hard work in a loss

00:10:57.720 environment what does that look like specifically like i mean is this are we still doing a pizza

00:11:03.000 party are we doing a no dinner night no you know what i'm saying like no we're but we don't we also

00:11:08.280 don't really do that when we win it's a 24-hour rule okay there's a 24-hour rule you have a 24 hours

00:11:14.760 to feel bad about a loss you have 24 hours to feel good about a win after that we're moving forward

00:11:20.600 all right so you know no there's no formal pizza party it's it's very simple like hey guys i really

00:11:29.560 appreciate everything that you've done we worked really hard i know you know you might want to

00:11:33.880 point out a few key people that led that part of the deal this guy did this you guys did this you guys

00:11:38.760 did everything you could i know you did everything you could sometimes things don't work out and that's

00:11:43.320 the way it is and then you move into what do we learn and then you move into what we're going to

00:11:46.600 do next and it's the same thing when you win the process is identical dude the problem that most

00:11:51.800 people run into here is that when they lose they sulk and then when they win they over celebrate

00:11:59.720 okay and both are equally as harmful because what happens is when you sulk you start to believe that

00:12:06.520 you can't do it and things are really bad and things get way you know things are made way worse

00:12:12.280 in our minds and we become ineffective all right when we win we think we're better than we are

00:12:19.720 and we we ride that win so long that we also become ineffective so either way if you give too

00:12:26.280 much time or too much attention to the win or the loss you lose the ability to stay effective does that

00:12:31.880 make sense that's perfect okay so we want to we want to acknowledge the effort take inventory of the

00:12:38.280 lessons pivot into the new mission and make sure that the loss or the win is only talked about or

00:12:45.240 celebrated for 24 hours that is the formula for addressing and getting people pivoted back on the

00:12:50.840 path because dude this question is is very very very close like if you just substitute the word big win and

00:12:58.840 for big loss it's the same structure of how to handle it because if you let your fucking team 0.92

00:13:04.200 ride on a win for six months during that six months you're gonna get your ass beat because 0.93

00:13:09.000 there's business to be handled tomorrow you know what i'm saying yeah that's real shit man i love it 0.80

00:13:15.160 uh guys andy question number two uh andy um i've been finding it so easy to just be like

00:13:23.160 i'm kicking ass i'm so busy what's the difference between being busy and being productive is is busy 0.96

00:13:30.440 even a word that you use is that a word that should be used busy is a word that amateurs use

00:13:36.120 amateurs take pride in bragging to everybody about how busy they are hey man what's going on oh

00:13:43.160 fuck dude i'm so busy i'm so busy okay like what else is going on i'm just so tired by the way people 0.96

00:13:55.080 who do that and they answer like that keep those people away from you okay those people are cancer

00:14:01.160 they're negative they're in their feelings they're looking for sympathy here's the reality we're all

00:14:07.320 fucking busy every one of us is busy but only a select few of us is actually effective with the 0.80

00:14:13.720 business that we concern ourselves with all right so it doesn't matter how busy you are that is not a

00:14:20.440 badge of honor there's no badge of honor there's no award there's no championship trophy for who

00:14:26.520 the fuck the busiest is that's just what weak people say unproductive people say to deflect

00:14:32.600 from their lack of results okay now if you ask someone who is actually producing results how things

00:14:38.600 are going they're going to answer like this it's great dude we got this going we got this going we got

00:14:43.240 this going they don't talk about the time that was put into it they talk about the actual results that

00:14:48.280 are being produced or the seeds that are growing that are soon to be harvested all right so it's

00:14:53.320 two different mentalities losers fucking concern themselves with being busy winners concern themselves 0.94

00:14:59.000 with being effective that is it so remember that when you're dealing with high level people like if i

00:15:04.360 walk up to someone i say hey steve how's it going oh look so fucking busy how much time you got oh 0.94

00:15:09.960 fucking you're out fucking running myself to the bone fucking exhausted i'm gonna be like 1.00

00:15:16.040 like i'm never talking to that guy again you know what i'm saying like ever like i'm not doing

00:15:21.080 shit i'm not doing business with them i'm not fucking hanging out with them i'm not doing 1.00

00:15:25.080 shit if i go talk to you know bob and i say bob how's it going what's going on oh bro it's going 0.77

00:15:32.840 great dude we got this going we got this going we got this going we got this going we're kicking

00:15:36.200 ass this this this these are moving well he doesn't concern himself with how much effort it takes he

00:15:41.800 concerns himself with what result is being produced okay and that is the difference between winners

00:15:47.080 and losers winners fucking look at the results being produced losers concern themselves with how 0.94

00:15:54.040 much time they were spending they're spinning their wheels they're they are being ineffective they think

00:15:59.720 that there's some sort of an award for talking about how busy they are and how tired they are and

00:16:04.360 how exhausted they are when in reality it's a completely different language than what winners speak

00:16:09.480 winners speak in terms of effectiveness losers speak in terms of busy so remember that the next

00:16:14.440 time you start to rant about how busy you've been no one fucking cares the world doesn't care how busy 0.92

00:16:20.440 you are the world doesn't care how much work you had to do if you have to do that much work and you

00:16:25.160 have you're that busy it means you're fucking not very skilled because highly skilled people will 0.95

00:16:29.880 produce results with less effort that's the point so if you if you find yourself in a situation and by

00:16:36.280 the way when you're just starting out in business and you don't know you're gonna be busy because

00:16:40.760 you have low skill but as you move and your skill gets acquired and you gain more and more and more

00:16:46.920 of skill the time invested to produce the result is less less less less less less like for example 20

00:16:54.200 years ago someone called me and said hey we got this problem i would fucking sit there all day being 0.96

00:16:58.120 like fuck i don't know what to do blah blah blah just fucking do this i don't know and i you know sit 0.99

00:17:03.240 there and think about it all day and busy myself to death about trying to solve this problem now i've

00:17:07.720 been doing it for 25 fucking years the same problem is they call me up hey we got this problem all right 0.94

00:17:13.160 do this this this done go back to what the fuck i was doing right that's the power of having experience 0.78

00:17:21.320 that's the power of becoming skilled and that's who you want to be you don't want to be the busy guy

00:17:26.600 who accomplishes nothing you want to be the effective guy that can be effective in the shortest

00:17:30.600 amount of time possible and then if you want to and you want to apply all that energy think how much

00:17:37.000 more productive work you could get done if you were busy and effective at the same time

00:17:42.600 on the back side with a lot of skill and that's where the true killers live the true killers stay

00:17:47.640 busy and effective and put in maximum energy you could be very successful though just being high

00:17:53.960 skilled and not putting in that much energy as well so it just depends man on how far you want to take

00:17:58.600 it like for me i invest all my energy and i'm highly skilled because i want to dominate that's

00:18:04.760 what i want to do so uh but not everybody wants to win at that level people you know people have

00:18:09.720 different levels that they're comfortable at or where they want to go and i can respect that but

00:18:13.560 you're saying for you that's what's required yeah that's what that's what i that's what i want to do

00:18:16.840 i'm built for that yeah but the thing is is like dude bragging about busy and talking about how busy you

00:18:23.800 are you're just indicating to everybody else that you're a fucking amateur that's the truth okay 0.96

00:18:28.680 nobody cares the world doesn't care the world is ruled by results the world is not ruled by effort

00:18:33.800 it is ruled by results so if you can't produce the results it means you lack skill if you have to put

00:18:39.640 in a bunch of effort to get something done it means you lack skill the more skill you gain the less energy

00:18:47.080 it takes to execute which produces the result so it's like a sliding scale dude when you first start

00:18:54.920 takes tons of effort because you don't have skill later on 10 years down the road you have more skill

00:19:00.360 it takes less effort because you already know the answers you see what i'm saying absolutely so that's

00:19:04.200 how you want to do and then if you want to get to the to the elite elite you have high skill and high

00:19:09.560 effort yeah i love that let me ask you this because i feel like this also leads into a topic

00:19:14.440 of just just very simple self-talk you know and the language that you use on a daily basis right

00:19:19.960 what have you seen i guess you know in your 25 years of words that you used to use back then

00:19:26.120 or self-taught conversations you used to have back then that have changed outside of just this busy

00:19:31.640 versus being productive conversation like how do winners talk how should they be talking versus how i

00:19:37.400 think the biggest difference between people who win and people who lose is that winners expect to win

00:19:43.960 winners are not surprised when they win like when i win i don't like celebrate overly celebrate

00:19:49.240 because i expected that to be the outcome yeah all right amateurs they they when they win they're

00:19:56.280 surprised and then they over celebrate and like i said when they over celebrate they become ineffective

00:20:01.320 because they're taking their eye off the game for way too long right oh i won the i won the week

00:20:07.000 this week and then they talk about that one week for the next six weeks and the next six weeks

00:20:11.400 the guy who expected to win is still going just as hard so it's an expectation that's the difference

00:20:17.400 between winners and losers that i think in terms of not so much their self-talk but just their attitude

00:20:23.320 like when i set out to do a project i expect to win i don't expect anything else that i expect to be

00:20:29.000 the absolute best i expect to win it's a legitimate in my heart expectation and any that's anything less than

00:20:37.160 that is a loss yeah and so people you know a lot of people are like why don't you celebrate more

00:20:42.680 why don't you take because dude that's that's the result that i expected you know and there's people

00:20:47.400 who love to win and then there's people who hate to lose the people who love to win are usually people

00:20:53.080 who don't expect to win and it feels good for them people who hate to lose usually expect to win

00:20:59.000 all the time and then when they lose they're furious i'm a hate to lose person yeah because i expect to

00:21:04.040 win and i think that's the biggest mentality difference between average or less than average

00:21:08.440 and elite performers is the expectation of what they're going to produce yeah but would you also

00:21:13.400 say too it's also the understanding of how a win is actually made but like you understand that process

00:21:19.480 of the inputs going into that right that's why there's no surprise right like i know i know it's

00:21:23.880 fucking two because i did one plus one i mean yeah that's part of it man but but the other part of 0.72

00:21:28.520 it is is the attitude of i'm willing to do whatever the fuck is required to produce that outcome 0.65

00:21:34.040 right a lot of people aren't wired that way like if i say i'm going to do x like if i say i'm going to

00:21:40.840 build the next fucking nike which is what the fuck i'm doing if i say that which i say it all the time 0.89

00:21:48.440 i don't think people understand what i'm willing to do to do that like i'm willing to do fucking whatever 0.97

00:21:52.840 i have to do if i have to go back to living on a fucking piss stain mattress for 10 years to get 0.93

00:21:58.120 there that's what the fuck i'll do i'll do whatever's required doesn't matter and and i know that 0.91

00:22:03.080 if i do whatever's required that will be the outcome but most people can't do that most people

00:22:08.040 aren't willing to to to set their feet on the fucking line and say bro we're doing this no matter 0.95

00:22:14.280 what there is no fucking options this is going to happen that's not how most people think that's how i 0.87

00:22:19.240 think that's how other big winners think people who don't win and who don't win big they they say

00:22:25.560 like this well that would be really cool that would be that would be awesome that would be awesome and

00:22:31.000 when i say i'd be like bro this is going to be awesome not it might be awesome like this is going

00:22:36.120 to be awesome you see what i'm saying it's slight differences in how people talk and as you get more

00:22:41.400 experienced um you know with entrepreneurship and business and just winning in general you can really

00:22:48.040 easily pick up on someone's mentality by the way they talk about things you know people will say

00:22:52.920 shit like oh man that would be so cool if we were able to do this and i know that guy's never going

00:22:57.400 to do that right but but other people you you know yeah i know that he's not because dude look this is

00:23:04.040 the most competitive game on the planet dude if you're not willing to fucking do whatever it takes 0.86

00:23:10.440 you cannot win at the highest level you can't really win at any level and so when people say

00:23:15.160 shit like man it'd be really cool if we were able to do that that's not a very confident statement

00:23:22.040 a confidence statement is bro we're gonna fucking do that and not only we're gonna do that we're 0.95

00:23:26.920 gonna do that no matter what the fuck happens and if we have to do this if i gotta sell my house if i 0.89

00:23:31.160 gotta sell my fucking cars if i gotta go live in the fucking woods in a fucking tent that is 1.00

00:23:35.560 fucking happening and that's how i look at things and that's how all winners look at things and it's a 0.88

00:23:40.120 very it's a zero option mentality once you decide where the fuck you're going you are going to get 0.68

00:23:45.960 there no matter what and that is a big huge difference between people who win all the time

00:23:51.320 and people who never win it's just the expectation of what the outcome will be because they understand

00:23:58.360 that they will do fucking anything to get it and that's i i think that's a fundamental difference 0.67

00:24:03.160 i every winner i know every fucking one of them they don't they don't pick a target and then say 0.99

00:24:09.560 man i wonder if we can get there they pick a target and then they start thinking okay well how can i get

00:24:14.440 there all right i gotta do this this this this this and they and then they go run the powerless play

00:24:19.560 okay they break it down into daily wins go listen to the episode episode 16 it'll give you the whole

00:24:24.840 the whole playbook for free they break it down they take the big goal they break it down into actionable

00:24:29.480 steps to a daily basis they execute those steps and they understand that they execute those steps

00:24:34.040 every single fucking day eventually you get there if you go out to dig a hole in the fucking ground 0.94

00:24:38.840 and you say the hole has got to be 20 feet by 40 feet and you got a fucking a shovel a little bitty 0.99

00:24:45.480 shovel okay a kid's shovel and you go out there and you start shoveling it doesn't really matter how

00:24:50.840 much you got done the first day or the second day as long as you kept moving because eventually the

00:24:55.400 fucking hole is going to get dug all right and that's the same thing in goals it's the same thing

00:24:59.400 in business you show up every day you chip away at it you don't quit and you keep going and it produces

00:25:05.640 the result and and dude that's been my experience everything i've ever said i'm going to do has

00:25:10.120 happened because i'm willing to do fucking anything to do it and and i think that's the attitude that's 0.92

00:25:15.400 missing amongst most people most people just have the attitude of you know oh this would be cool if i

00:25:20.200 could do this and that that's just not good enough it's not it's not firm enough it takes more than

00:25:25.240 that yeah that's real shit man i love it i love it guys andy uh question number three andy what's your 0.66

00:25:32.600 outlook on the golden rule uh give respect to get it i feel like in a perfect world it sounds great

00:25:40.040 but i don't feel like that works in the real world i would love to get your take on this what is it true

00:25:46.200 you have to give respect to get it or is it demanded is it is it something else i i think

00:25:53.000 i think it depends on where you are in life i think if your whole entire fucking life speaks for 0.84

00:25:58.040 itself you automatically usually get respect like if you produce results at an undeniable level and

00:26:04.120 everybody in the world knows it and you walk in a room they respect you okay the problem comes when

00:26:09.480 all you motherfuckers who haven't done a motherfucking thing think that people owe you respect they don't 0.89

00:26:13.160 owe you and what have you done to actually earn that respect what is your track record where are

00:26:17.960 your receipts well oh you were born oh you're you're equal to everybody so you deserve that respect

00:26:23.720 that's bullshit respect is earned through results respect is earned through commitment through effort

00:26:30.120 through say doing what you say you're going to do and displaying that through everything in your life

00:26:35.800 and then people will respect you we have a whole generation of people who believe they deserve respect

00:26:41.160 for breathing the fucking air and that's the problem and if you guys would stop worrying about 0.98

00:26:46.360 how much people respect you or don't respect you and started just worrying about what results you're

00:26:51.320 actually producing you'd get the fucking respect you're looking for but nobody's going to give you 0.91

00:26:55.720 respect nobody owes you respect and you need to get over your own fucking ego and realize that there's 0.93

00:27:00.760 no reason to respect you if you've not actually done anything outside of basic human respect hey how you

00:27:06.280 doing nice to see you you know normal human kindness i'm talking about in the business world i'm talking

00:27:12.840 about in entrepreneurship a lot of these young kids they believe that they should get this respect

00:27:18.760 because they fucking went and filed an llc and they're starting a business bro you haven't done 0.93

00:27:23.560 shit and everybody who's done shit knows you haven't done shit they don't owe you shit they don't owe you 0.96

00:27:28.760 fucking anything they don't owe you a fucking phone call a fucking text a fucking email back because you're not 0.99

00:27:34.200 deserving of that you haven't put in the work you haven't even shown that you produce any results

00:27:39.240 and i dude i see this every once in a while dude one of these kids will email me or get my email

00:27:44.520 they'll email me they'll email me three or four times and then they'll email and i won't answer or

00:27:49.480 it'll be dms right they'll dm me three or four times talking about you know oh i fucking bro i would 0.97

00:27:55.720 love to pick your brain over a cup of coffee motherfucker you think i'm going to give away my knowledge 0.99

00:28:00.440 over to you for over a cup of coffee i got 25 years of fucking knowledge and you want to sit 0.99

00:28:05.640 with me over a cup of fucking coffee that's so fucking disrespectful to say to someone stop saying 0.99

00:28:11.400 that but in my dms in my emails you know hey i'd love to connect hey i'd love to connect hey i think

00:28:17.480 i could do this hey i think i could do that and i don't ever answer because i'm like who the fuck are you 0.90

00:28:22.360 okay if you were who if you were able to do the things you say i'd know your fucking name 0.96

00:28:26.360 that's the reality i'd be dming you yeah yeah and dude these kids think that like you owe them

00:28:32.360 something and then what eventually happens is they write some shit you're not who i thought you were 0.83

00:28:37.400 you're fucking you don't even send me an email back yeah motherfucker because that's the way it 1.00

00:28:41.800 works you haven't earned my email back go out and be produce some undeniable results become the best in

00:28:47.560 the fucking world at what you do like i am at what i do okay and then i'll fucking email you back if i can 0.99

00:28:54.440 recognize your name when it comes in and recognize your name in my dm you want to do business with me

00:28:58.920 then we can talk but until then shut the fuck up and go fucking earn your fucking respect that you 1.00

00:29:04.200 think everybody owes you because you don't fucking deserve it you haven't earned it yeah that's real 0.94

00:29:09.560 shit that's my take bro yeah i just feel like you know there's a lot of you know i've been seeing a 0.52

00:29:15.320 lot more emails like this there's a lot of just misconceptions man and i think it kind of just

00:29:19.640 lends to the you know the work we do on the cti side right but keeping this show clean

00:29:24.200 it's like there's just a lot of misalignment with just how the world really works like that

00:29:32.200 it doesn't you know i'm saying like and people get out in the real world man and if it really

00:29:35.720 fucks them up well that's because they've been raised in the idealistic atmosphere for 20 years

00:29:41.320 they've been told that just because you're alive you're special they've been told that just because

00:29:45.960 you show up and compete you get a trophy they've no shit they're entitled they believe that because 0.86

00:29:52.600 they're in business that you owe them your time and you do not and unless you can display some

00:29:57.880 exceptional value which you probably can't because nobody will listen to you

00:30:04.520 you're not going to get anywhere with those people you know like bro you have to build your

00:30:08.520 book you have to build your list of results you have to be able to tell them exactly exactly what the

00:30:14.040 fuck you've done exactly hey i did this i did this i did this i did this i can fucking rip that 0.99

00:30:19.240 off for anybody right now bro i got a business worth 10 figures got a business worth nine figures

00:30:23.160 i got three business worth eight figures i got fucking two number one podcasts two for 0.96

00:30:27.000 fucking categories i created the world's biggest mental toughness program ever you see what i'm saying 0.66

00:30:32.920 like if you've actually done shit you could fucking you know what the fuck you've done it's impressive 0.88

00:30:37.640 and if i were to fuck like bro if i wanted to do business with someone it really doesn't matter who the 0.93

00:30:41.400 fuck it is if i send them an email and they see my name in there they write me back yeah that's the 0.92

00:30:46.520 that's where you get respect you get respect when you fucking earn the respect and so yes the answer 0.69

00:30:53.320 to the question is if you're if you haven't produced undeniable results you have to give the respect first

00:31:02.120 and you have to give it for a long time before you're ever reciprocated i love it that's the answer

00:31:07.800 bro i love it people don't like it people don't like it because they don't they want to be respected

00:31:12.600 for doing nothing they want to be celebrated for producing shit they want to be told they're special 0.71

00:31:17.800 they want to be told they're you know a delicate little snowflake and they're the only one ever

00:31:22.440 and motherfucker dude you don't really understand how many fucking emails from people like you people 0.99

00:31:27.080 like me get on a daily basis just like that yeah and then they're like oh you don't respect me no

00:31:32.360 shit the fuck have you done i mean yeah you're right i don't because you haven't fucking earned 0.96

00:31:39.000 it do i respect you as a human being sure if you were starving i give you a fucking sandwich if i'd 0.99

00:31:44.440 take you know that's not what i'm talking about here i'm not talking about elitism as a human i'm

00:31:49.560 talking about in the hierarchy of business a lot of you young bucks bro you don't have a scorecard to

00:31:54.920 show anybody and the scorecard you do show someone usually is bullshit and then once we figure out

00:32:00.520 it's bullshit i get on the phone with everybody else i know i say don't talk to that fucking guy 0.99

00:32:04.280 he's full of shit you can self-destruct your brand behind the scenes without even knowing 0.76

00:32:09.080 it just by being a dumb fucking emails you think when you email me 17 times and then tell me off 0.99

00:32:14.040 in the email that i don't fucking screenshot it and send it to everybody i know and say look at this 0.97

00:32:18.600 fucking idiot don't work with that guy right you know what i'm saying what you showed your true 0.97

00:32:22.840 character yeah but everybody does that like you know how like you know how many texts i get from like

00:32:27.160 my friends in business locally and you know over the uh over the globe guys you know influencers

00:32:34.600 fucking big big ceos who are like yeah this fucking idiot's a scammer this fucking idiot's this here's 0.99

00:32:40.920 what's happened here and you get blackballed out of the circle without even knowing it you see what

00:32:45.800 i'm saying man yeah a lot of you guys need to know your place and fucking operate there and be very 0.91

00:32:51.640 respectful to the people ahead of you because the people ahead of you can make or break you

00:32:55.080 you know what i mean that's real shit yeah bro don't be pouting because you didn't get the 0.81

00:33:00.200 fucking attention you wanted from some big dog that you're trying to do business with that's 1.00

00:33:05.160 you have to give the respect bro they don't owe you shit yet you have to earn it so yeah you have

00:33:09.880 to earn the respect and by the way if you are the big dog you've also got to earn the respect you don't

00:33:15.560 demand the respect i don't come in here and demand respect actually i think everybody would say it's the

00:33:21.320 opposite i'm in here taking out the fucking trash i took out the fucking trash an hour ago i'm in 1.00

00:33:26.920 here picking up shit off the floor straightening shit up helping these guys with their shit there's 0.91

00:33:31.560 not a person in here that could say oh he demands respect no motherfucker i earn the respect every 0.92

00:33:37.240 single fucking day with what i do so it goes both ways i love that man it's the truth is that not true 0.92

00:33:42.840 am i lying absolutely true i haven't seen a different in four and a half years that's what i'm saying but

00:33:47.800 dude i understand that i have to earn it from these people on a daily basis if i if i don't

00:33:52.120 come in here for the next 60 days and i'm out on my instagram fucking on the beach guess what's 0.99

00:33:56.520 gonna happen to my respect level you know it's gonna go down i i expect a lot from our team but

00:34:01.160 i also give a lot to the same mission that they have which which there's mutual respect there you

00:34:05.960 see what i'm saying 100 it's not this thing that you just oh i can be you know i can earn it this day

00:34:10.200 and it's gonna last fucking forever no that's the other thing it's like a shower yeah just because you 0.98

00:34:14.200 had it yesterday don't mean you have it today for real yeah you first think a little bit same

00:34:19.800 thing with discipline dude yeah if you don't fucking brush up your discipline today just because you 0.95

00:34:24.360 had it yesterday it's gonna erode it's a perishable skill and respect is a perishable uh attribute as

00:34:29.960 well so you have to give it consistently it goes both ways but the reason i went off on that tangent is

00:34:35.880 because it's a big problem with the younger people like you guys fucking think anybody owes you 0.97

00:34:40.120 shit nobody owes you shit you haven't done anything the fuck have you done fuck you 1.00

00:34:45.800 i love it man i love it you want to do a little extra sauce yeah yeah a little extra spicy yeah all

00:34:51.160 right oh a little extra a little extra pepper on the chicken today ah let's not go that far

00:34:57.960 you know i like my chicken unseasoned i don't want it too spicy i don't want too spicy

00:35:03.160 motherfucker you're the one that don't like spicy shit no i don't like hot 1.00

00:35:06.280 shit bro you are the coolest no there's a difference spicy and hot are two you are the

00:35:10.360 biggest pussy when it comes to spicy shit so i don't know what the fuck you're talking about 1.00

00:35:14.440 there's a difference between something being spicy no you're talking about

00:35:19.480 there's two different things hot and spicy two different things okay i see what you're saying

00:35:23.240 but i don't like hot shit i do spicy a little chicken curry that's you know what i'm saying yeah 0.85

00:35:28.920 yeah all all spice in there you know obey i like my chicken boiled with no i think it has something

00:35:38.920 to do with my skin i don't know yeah you feel you too joe you guys we're over here boiling our chicken

00:35:46.840 and hot dogs all right guys any question number two uh four question number four uh andy i'm 17 years old

00:35:56.760 and i have my first job interview in two weeks uh for a retail store in the mall can you give me

00:36:03.960 some tips that would help me lock this down i'm nervous and i don't really know what to expect what you

00:36:10.520 got tell the truth go in there all right i'm gonna give you the playbook it's very simple

00:36:17.640 shake the man's hand or the woman's hand firmly don't crush it okay don't be one of these turds 0.55

00:36:22.920 that tries to crush the hand nice firm handshake look him in the eye say thank you very much for

00:36:28.360 having me thank you very much for giving me the interview i very much so appreciate it when they

00:36:32.920 start to ask you questions you tell the truth don't lie about your skill set if you don't have the skill

00:36:37.400 set say look i don't know anything about that but i will i will do anything you say to learn

00:36:43.320 and and and present yourself as someone who's multiple present yourself as someone who is humble who is

00:36:48.920 willing to learn who is willing to help who's willing to do anything take out the trash wash the

00:36:53.960 sink whatever the fuck whatever has to be done i'll do so i can learn how to be good at this and 0.92

00:36:59.000 if you have that attitude when you go in there um because an interview i've some i've interviewed you

00:37:05.560 know thousands of people and most people come in and they start bragging about all this that they

00:37:10.280 know and how much they can help the company and i'm fucking bro it's i can build a rocket ship yeah 0.89

00:37:15.240 yeah it's dude it's like bro we're just selling some supplements man bro and you know it's a lie

00:37:21.800 too it's not like you don't know it's a lie like that's the thing like this person that's interviewed

00:37:26.360 you has probably interviewed fucking hundreds of people so when you go in there and you start lying 0.87

00:37:31.640 about what you can and can't do and you start saying corny ass shit you know like they're gonna know 0.81

00:37:38.120 so like my biggest piece of advice man is be respectful to the last question be eager to learn

00:37:45.800 be humble to admit that you don't know but you'll do whatever it takes to learn and then if you give

00:37:50.040 you you know any assignments to learn learn those and then try to be as prepared as you can before

00:37:54.600 you go in there you know if they if they sell uh clothing or electronics or whatever it is in this

00:38:00.040 retail environment try to learn as much as you can before you go in but don't be certain about what

00:38:05.640 you know so you know when they say well what do you know let's just say it's an electronics place

00:38:09.800 right what do you know about iphones well i know this and this and this and this and this

00:38:13.960 but i i that's just stuff i picked up on my own i don't know like no formal training yeah yeah

00:38:19.320 these are just things that i i read on the website and just be honest you know um dress nice don't

00:38:25.960 dress like a slob uh you know dress appropriately nice you know what i mean um sometimes like it you 1.00

00:38:33.960 know if you're going into like a gym and you wear a suit as an interview it it doesn't really fit like

00:38:40.520 you want to dress appropriate so you don't come off as a little weird um but i think the biggest

00:38:46.600 thing is man you know for a young kid is just say hey this is my first job i'm i'm here to learn i'm

00:38:53.000 here to get better i want i want to learn things and just being humble enough to admit that you don't

00:38:57.720 know exactly what you're doing um i think that'll go a long way yeah what was your what was like your

00:39:03.160 first like you're on a payroll job because i mean i know you started business at 19 but i mean i'm

00:39:08.200 sure there was something in there what was your first no not really i always played sports got

00:39:12.920 you yeah so i didn't have a like a job job yeah um i did in the jobs i did have they were things i did

00:39:20.360 like side hustle yes like mowing grass or going door to door things like bro i'm an entrepreneur

00:39:25.560 through and through like i i am not a i'm not hireable

00:39:28.920 could you imagine me fucking working for someone yeah yeah i'm i'm unemployable so i had to employ 0.92

00:39:39.640 myself it's the fucking truth it's a hundred percent the truth dude yeah i love that though 0.86

00:39:45.720 yeah so like yeah i have to do things my way man and you know in an employment situation that's not

00:39:51.640 ideal yeah you know people don't like that they they frown upon that so uh you know but but you

00:40:00.520 know um but you know what an employer looks for that's the yeah because i've been doing that part

00:40:04.840 a long time yeah yeah you know so i like people who are honest who who tell the truth who have a good

00:40:11.960 attitude and are positive who are respectful and i think they're decent people um who come prepared

00:40:17.640 who say hey i know this but you know that's just you know don't be too certain like you're an expert

00:40:23.720 just say hey this is what i think i know um and i think that's a really good place to start quick

00:40:29.720 follow-up on that because i remember you know i had a bunch of like i've worked for like all over the

00:40:34.120 place i've had you know experience in different places and different employers and i remember one

00:40:38.200 time i was told that uh i didn't hire you because of your resume like i don't hire the resume i hire the

00:40:43.880 person yeah is that is that yeah that's a good like that's a good way to look at look at the

00:40:49.480 process for people yes i i think you're much more likely to get hired if you are an honest good person

00:40:58.920 versus someone who knows all the that that rubs you the wrong way i i don't want to hire i'll tell

00:41:05.080 you who i don't want to hire i don't want to hire someone that thinks they know everything i don't

00:41:08.520 want to hire someone that that comes in and presents themselves as overly you know knowledgeable about

00:41:13.400 what we do because what i know is what i already know as an employer is they don't know shit 0.86

00:41:18.360 about how we do things and i'm gonna have to break them of all these fucking habits yeah okay so i would 0.98

00:41:22.920 much rather have someone who's a good person who's open to learn than someone who thinks they're super

00:41:28.680 experienced and they're going to come in and do all this shit when i know for a fact they don't do it 0.89

00:41:33.080 to my standard right yeah um well you gotta deal with for the next you know six months well at this

00:41:38.440 place this is how that's right that's right and dude i won't even let that come here that

00:41:42.600 shit doesn't even come here i love it yeah i love it man well guys andy that was four yeah guys 0.60

00:41:48.600 let's have a good week let's go kick some ass see you guys tomorrow 0.86

00:41:52.440 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze

00:41:55.720 fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bank 1.00

00:42:01.960 broke broke can't fold doesn't know head shot case close close

00:42:09.960 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - May 13, 2024

705. Q&AF： Redirecting Your Team After A Loss, Difference Between Busy And Productive & The Golden Rule Of Respect

Episode Stats

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REAL AF with Andy Frisella - May 13, 2024

705. Q&#x26;AF： Redirecting Your Team After A Loss, Difference Between Busy And Productive &#x26; The Golden Rule Of Respect

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

705. Q&AF： Redirecting Your Team After A Loss, Difference Between Busy And Productive & The Golden Rule Of Respect