In this episode of the podcast, we talk about how to live in the dream vs. living in the real world. We also talk about the 75 Hard Program and why you should be using it to fix your life.
00:00:00.000What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realist, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society.
00:00:23.160Welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and I give you the answers.
00:00:29.860Now you can submit your questions a couple of different ways. The first way is guys, email these questions into ask Andy at Andy for seller.com or you go on YouTube in the comments section on the Q and AF episodes and drop your questions right there in the comments. We'll pick some from there as well. These questions can be about anything. Typically they're about business, entrepreneurship, personal development, how to kick ass in life. That's what we like to talk about on this show, but you can ask anything you want. We'll pick some.
00:00:59.320We like the varieties. All right. Other times you tune in, we have CTI. That's what you're going to hear tomorrow. That stands for cruise the internet. That's where we take the topics of the day that are on the internet. We put them up on the screen. We talk about them. We speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people have to be the solution to some of these problems going on in the world.
00:01:20.320Other times we're going to have real talk, real talk, just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. That's just some shit that I think you need to hear. And then we have 75 hard versus 75 hard versus is where someone comes in. They talk about how their life was before 75 hard, how their life is now after they've completed the 75 hard program.
00:01:40.320And why you should be using the 75 hard program to fix your life as well. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program.
00:01:52.320It is the world's most popular in history, mental toughness program. And it is free and you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. There is also a book called the book on mental toughness, which is highly recommended, but not required. You can get that at Andy for salad.com. It includes the entire live hard program, the nuts and bolts, the ins and outs. If you're someone who likes to know all the details, it's a must have. It also includes 10 plus chapters on mental toughness.
00:02:22.320And case studies on very famous people as to how they became famous using mental toughness as a skill set. So check that book out, the book on mental toughness, Andy for salad.com. Now you're going to notice something about this show. If this is your first time listening, we do not run ads on the show. I don't want to listen to someone tell me what I can or can't say. So I forgo the ads and instead I make a deal with you. Help us share the show. Help us get the word out. As you know, we are constantly dealing with censorship, shadow bans, traffic throttling.
00:02:51.260And sometimes account deletion, which means I need you guys to help spread the word. All right. So if the episode makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. If it's something you think needs to be heard, please have the courage to share the show. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up? What's going on, man? Not much. Yeah. What's up with you? Oh, you know, not much. Yeah. Yeah. Just another day in paradise.
00:03:21.260Like when people were like, Nope. I don't like people. All right. Yeah. I don't like anything they say. Yeah. So now I don't like that one either. No, but like, you know, people, there's nothing worse than when you walk up to someone. Yeah. And they say some shit like this. Hey, Steve, how's it going? Oh, just live in the dream. Another day in paradise. All right, Steve, we'll fuck you. How about that? Like, and these are always people that are losing.
00:03:51.260Their life sucks. They look like shit. They're out of shape. They don't have any money. They're not trying very hard. And you say, Hey, how are you doing? Trying to stir up a positive conversation. And they say, Oh, you know, live in the dream. Say that. Dude, just pay attention to who says that. It is never a high quality, high earning, successful kick-ass individual. It is always people who are losing. I don't just live in the dream. Well, maybe if you stopped and, you know, thought about your life a little bit,
00:04:21.260instead of being sarcastic and cynical about it, you could actually live the dream, but you know, I can't do it for you, man. I love it. Yeah. No. So to answer your question in depth, no, I hate people that say that, but I don't know if it's because they say that or if it's just because I hate people. Yeah. Can't really tell the difference. Yeah. But I definitely hate those people. Yeah. I got it. I got it. Uh, it looks like it, man. Uh, you did get your account back.
00:04:51.260That's good. Yes. Had to pull some very major strings to get that back. Um, is everything back? Cause I, I mean, I've never had it like completely gone. So no, not everything is back. They have my, they have my traffic suppressed. When you search my name, it doesn't come up in the search bar. So they're doing all kinds of shit still, which I still have to get fixed. Yeah. But yeah, it's interesting. I got my account back right after we talked about it. It's super weird. Yeah. Super fucking weird. So yeah. Shit, man.
00:05:21.240Yeah, man. That's what's going on with me. Uh, trying to get jacked and tan juicy as fuck, you know, trying to run some businesses and kick ass. What everybody should be trying to do. Do guru every now and then. Huh? Do the guru shit every now and then. Oh yeah. You know me. Sweet, man. Well, listen, let's, uh, let's get into this, man. Let's make some people better today. Mid, midweek drop of Q and AF. And, uh, let's start off with some, some, some fire here.
00:05:51.240Um, any guys, question number one, Andy, I have an employee who has been with me since almost the start of my business. She started four months after we opened the brick and mortar store. Uh, we have been in business a little over two years after hiring her. She quickly became a key member of our team. Uh, she learned how to do all the jobs at our bakery coffee shop. Uh, she was eager to learn and grow. She became a good leader for our seasonal high school staff members.
00:06:16.740We made her an assistant manager, uh, giving her a little more responsibility and a race. Um, then last summer, I could feel her falling off. She quit putting in the extra effort and wasn't trying as hard. We had a conversation around that, uh, where she told me that she quote, uh, felt that I no longer needed her. And she quit trying to, uh, to which I told her that I felt, uh, I felt that. And was, I was very frustrated.
00:06:46.740I helped aid with all the things she was supposed to be doing. After that conversation, she improved back to her original helpfulness. That was last fall. Now this winter, uh, in March, she has approached me, uh, asking to only work four days a week going forward because she quote, needs more time for herself.
00:07:00.760Uh, this hit me in a really bad way because I've been working really hard on building out and expanding our little business so we can do, uh, serve more markets. Uh, now I feel like I don't have someone to count on and help me build this out. It's extremely frustrating and has left me feeling bitter and resentful towards her. I know I can't expect anyone else to put, uh, in what I am putting into the business. I don't, uh, but this whole situation just left me feeling bitter and resentful towards her. Any thoughts, how to move through this?
00:07:29.140Is this something you you've experienced before?
00:07:32.860So you're bitter and resentful because someone that you hired to help you and you relied on heavily
00:07:42.840didn't feel valued or needed and decided to spend their time other places.
00:07:52.720Who does it sound like is at the root of that problem?
00:08:11.200who wants to come in on Tuesday and leave on Thursday.
00:08:16.140And I understand you may not be doing that.
00:08:18.280However, at the very least you haven't been fostering the proper relationship.
00:08:24.720And what it sounds like to me is that this person who was highly involved in getting your business off the ground has now realized that that's all they're ever going to be.
00:08:36.700You're not making them a bigger part of the business.
00:08:39.180You're not giving them extra responsibility.
00:08:41.320You're not actually relying on them to help you grow to where there's a reward in that for them.
00:08:50.440Because in reality, if you want people to stay with you, there has to be some things that happen.
00:08:56.720One, they've got to progress in their career.
00:09:00.040Two, and most importantly, they have to believe in what you're doing.
00:09:03.740And if you can't paint a picture that's big enough to where that person's dreams fit underneath that umbrella that you're trying to create with your company, that means they're going to lose belief.
00:09:15.020And you, as an operator, cannot expect people to give up their dreams just because your dreams are your dreams.
00:09:22.880So, you have a responsibility as the employer to your key people to create a scenario where they can create the life that they want within the system or the operation or the business or the organization that you're creating.
00:09:39.780And what it sounds like to me here is that you got it off the ground.
00:09:46.060She was an integral part of what you did.
00:09:48.320She probably feels like she was going to be a big part of the business.
00:09:56.300Meaning you didn't continue to grow fast.
00:09:59.340And now she's detached from the business for whatever reason.
00:10:03.360It sounds like you have a really good employee that might just need to be brought back in and talked to and explained like, hey, man, you're a key part of this.
00:10:19.080So, you have to understand, dude, just like you pointed out in your email, just because it's your dream doesn't mean it's someone else's dream.
00:10:27.380And if someone else doesn't see their dream inside of your dream, it's a very high likelihood that they're not going to stay.
00:10:35.800So, you as an operator, the best thing that you can do is to consistently paint a big vision, consistently reinforce with your employees where their vision fits inside that vision, and then consistently show them what they need to do to get to that point.
00:10:49.300And if you can do that and then also accompany all of those clear communications and upward mobilities and requirements for them to get there, you also couple that with becoming their coach, their personal development person, the person who sits down with them and says, okay, here's what you need to improve.
00:11:08.020You need to do this, this, this, this, and this.
00:11:10.200Now you have someone who's fully engaged.
00:11:12.640They understand the path that they're on.
00:11:14.500They understand that you're going to teach them how to get there, and that person is very unlikely to just bail on you, all right?
00:11:21.440What it sounds to me is, and this is limited, I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like you had someone who was really bought in.
00:11:29.120You got a little distance between you and that person.
00:11:32.540They started to realize that, you know, or whether it's true or not, they started to feel like this was just a position that was being filled by them, and that's not what they expected.
00:11:43.600What it sounds like they expected to me was for them to be working hand-in-hand with you to build the company, which is a great thing.
00:11:49.820And it sounds like that's what you want.
00:11:51.780So what I would do is consider everything I just said, sit down with a person, have a real conversation, and then use this as a learning lesson to not let people feel like they're not an important part of the mission that you're on when you know that they are.
00:12:05.960Sure. Yeah. So let me ask you this, because I feel like that's a misconception.
00:12:09.780Like, you know, going back, I don't know, you know, you look at how business was done 50 years ago, right?
00:12:16.140There is, you come in, you work, and then I give you this little check that you can cash at the bank, right?
00:12:21.640And it's a very cut-and-dry relationship.
00:12:24.060And so now, you know, here we are in 2024, business, it's not how that should be done anymore?
00:12:30.360No. Most business still is done that way. But when you're trying to grow, and you're trying to be exceptional, and you're trying to do something special, it's going to require buy-in.
00:12:40.920It's going to require passion. It's going to require people who are committed to the purpose.
00:12:45.920And something that's different about the younger generations now, as opposed to the older generations then that you speak of, is that people want to be inspired by a purpose.
00:12:57.940They want a mission that's bigger than just collecting a check, all right?
00:13:01.960You can get a check anywhere, but accomplishing a mission and being part of a mission and being part of a real purpose that does good things for people, that's rare.
00:13:10.520And that's a huge advantage for you as a business owner, if you could figure out what that is and lean into that.
00:13:16.040Because not only will it inspire your employees, but it will also help your customers get the most value possible from your brand, your product, your service, which will drive revenue.
00:13:29.700A lot of people like to say things like, oh, Gen Z is worthless. Millennials are worthless.
00:13:34.700I don't know. I built some pretty good companies with Gen Z and Millennials.
00:13:38.500And I can tell you this, they don't want to just show up and get a fucking check.
00:13:42.320They want to be involved. They want to contribute.
00:13:44.660They haven't really felt special anywhere else in their entire lives.
00:13:47.860They come up through a school system that doesn't make them feel like they're anything special.
00:13:52.000In fact, it squashes their dreams and their hopes to try to get them to conform.
00:13:58.360So when you really think about it, the younger people, it's not that they're lazy.
00:14:02.880It's just that they want something better to do while they're getting paid.
00:14:06.900They want to do something that matters. They want to do something they're passionate about.
00:14:10.100They want to do something that fulfills them in a mission, not just getting a check.
00:14:15.060So it's a generational difference and it's not common.
00:14:20.720It's only common to you because you're around these businesses.
00:14:24.040Most companies just don't operate that way. They do.
00:14:26.660They say, come in, get your check, go the fuck home, leave me alone.
00:14:30.240You're not going to get the best people to work for you there because the best people are no longer working for just money.
00:14:34.640They're working for mission, purpose, and fulfillment.
00:14:36.900And so you have to figure out what that is for your business if you want to keep the best people.
00:14:41.340So if you want to build a business that is going to be undeniably changing lives, you have to offer the employees more than just a paycheck is what you're saying.
00:14:54.200Listen, the idea of you guys hiring millennials, Gen Z's, people like that who are younger, who have the skill sets you need, who have the understanding of technology, that the idea that you're just going to pay them and they're going to show up and give you their best work.
00:15:08.960That's not in congruence with the way that they view the world.
00:15:13.280They view the world as this is my opportunity to do something that matters.
00:15:16.520I am going to trade my time for money and that's okay, but I want the time that I trade for money to mean something.
00:15:23.840I want it to affect people in a positive way.
00:15:26.240And too many of you guys that run businesses or manage people, you totally leave that off the table and you expect motherfuckers to show up and work like you're going to work for a dollar.
00:15:37.000You might get some people that are going to show up and get a check and go home, but you ain't going to like those people and you're not going to like having them work for you because guess what?
00:15:45.000They're not going to give a single fuck about what it is you're trying to do.
00:16:32.660It's that you haven't given them anything to care about.
00:16:34.920So when you fix that in your leadership style, that unlocks a whole new level for people to come in, high quality people that are passionate, who care, who care about your customers, who come in and drive revenue because the customer gets the most value out of those people.
00:16:51.620Then your company makes more money and those people make more money.
00:18:41.520Well, first of all, you got to make sure that you are overwhelmed and you're not just one of these people who's ineffective at what they do.
00:19:22.620Because that will reduce the overwhelm.
00:19:24.300But if it's actual overwhelm in terms of your workload and that's a real thing and you can be honest about it, yeah, you've got to say something, especially when it has to do with your safety, especially when it has to do with the quality of the work that's getting done.
00:19:37.500Because if you're doing lesser quality work just to do more work, you're going to be seen as invaluable.
00:19:42.260And this brings up a bigger, this makes up a bigger aspect for people, which is we have to understand that you can only work your way up the chain so hard.
00:20:07.860Like if you have to, if you're a tattoo artist and you get paid for the amount of tattoos that you do, there is an upper limit to what you can earn because at some point in time, you're not going to be able to charge any more money and you can't do any more work.
00:20:22.280So how do you make that into something that's lucrative?
00:20:37.660Could I open up my own shops and do this or what?
00:20:40.380You have to think about it differently so that you can leverage out your energy for more money.
00:20:45.620So, yes, address the overwhelm, but realize that if you stay in this situation where you're just burning yourself down and you keep saying grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, you're not going to get any more reward because there's only so much you can actually do.
00:21:05.860What changes could you make that would not only reduce your overwhelm, but increase the amount of money that comes to you or that goes into your bank account?
00:21:13.600These are things that most people don't realize because they're so indoctrinated by the hustle culture that's on the Internet, which is work, work, work, work, work, work, work 47 hours out of 24.
00:21:26.360We have two we have two extremes on the Internet.
00:21:29.200OK, we have work 47 hours out of 24 and 10 days a week out of seven.
00:21:53.480OK, you've got to expend your energy in an effective way, and it has to be on a project that's going to produce money, produce a result that you're looking for.
00:22:03.240And you've got to figure out what those things are.
00:22:05.500That's why the power list is such a valuable tool that you can get for free at episode 16 on the audio feed only.
00:22:12.660It's such a valuable tool because it teaches you how to be effective and move forward without using all of your time and grinding yourself into dust, which is counterproductive anyway.
00:22:23.880So that's how I would look at that problem.
00:23:14.020So when you start, it's effort, effort, effort, low skill.
00:23:17.800And as you get good, you can get way more result with less effort.
00:23:22.340But these people that they don't really make the money.
00:23:25.700It's the people who continue to work with the high skill and the high effort who outproduce everybody else and end up winning and making the most money and becoming the most successful.
00:23:36.600So, yeah, there's people who, when they get skilled, they tone down their work ethic and then they do OK.
00:23:44.020They can make the same amount of money with less effort.
00:23:49.600So the goal here for this show is for you to be the best that you can be.
00:23:53.120So I would recommend that you put in as much effort as you possibly can and have as much skill as you possibly can to produce the best possible result.
00:27:02.960So many of you guys want to listen to your mom and your dad and your aunts and your uncles and your teachers.
00:27:07.760And if you actually gave an objective visual scan of their existence, you would realize they're broke, they're stupid, they don't know what the fuck they're doing, they're miserable, they're unfulfilled, yet they feel qualified to give you all this advice about what the fuck you should be doing.
00:27:25.340If you don't want their life, you shouldn't listen to a fucking word they said unless it's something that gives you an indication about what not to do so that you don't end up like them.
00:28:05.120Friendship is not just because you graduated high school with someone or just because you went to college with someone or just because you drank beer with someone.
00:28:12.660That's not friendship and we have to stop being loyal to people who we associated with when we were young thinking we owe them something.
00:28:22.160The only person that you fucking owe is yourself.
00:28:24.660And what you owe yourself to do is to pay attention in a very honest and real way to everybody else's lives that are giving you advice and say, do I want that guy's life?
00:28:44.080You got to go find people who have the life that you want and you start emulating what they do and you try to get close to them and you listen to what they say.
00:28:53.060And you guys live in the most privileged society ever when it comes to that.
00:28:57.980When I was 22 years old, we had books.
00:29:21.060Now you guys turn on the internet and you see fucking all these people who are successful, which by the way, most of them are lying, just being honest.
00:29:27.820You got to dig in like I've been talking about.
00:30:25.480You wouldn't go door to door knocking on doors.
00:30:27.640And if you wouldn't go door to door knocking on doors, you don't have what it takes anyway because ultimately it's whatever the fuck it takes.
00:30:33.840But basically, my message to you is don't listen to motherfuckers that have never done anything, including your fucking friends, including your parents, including your aunts and uncles, including fucking anyone if you want a better life.
00:30:44.420If you listen to them, you'll be like them.
00:30:48.400So when someone's telling you what to do with your money or how to live or how to do this and how to do that and how to do this, look at their fucking life.
00:32:14.940They went on the trip to fucking here and there.
00:32:17.720They fucking bought a car they couldn't afford.
00:32:19.880They did all these things they shouldn't have done.
00:32:21.440And they didn't make that investment to themselves so there's no payoff over here.
00:32:24.980So if you look at yourself like that and you look at it as a stock, all these things that you're missing out on, all this money that you're putting into yourself and not into Jordans and other bullshit no one gives a fuck about, now you start to understand that these are investments that have a payoff.
00:33:06.500When you're missing out on going to a bar with a bunch of drunks, drinking some shitty beer with a bunch of fat bitches, that's what you're, that's what you're, then do that.
00:33:15.680And then if you'll fucking have all these problems your whole life, bro, or take the time now and say, I'm going to become this and this and this and realize what the fuck you're going to become and dedicate yourself to it.
00:33:27.360And eventually you will be that and nobody else will be.
00:33:32.980You just feel like you are because your friends think they got one up on you right now, but they don't because you'll be the one with the last laugh when you're not having to work at fucking Wendy's when you're 40 years old.
00:41:18.000After COVID, now we have this entitlement mentality amongst the service industry that they deserve some sort of reward or tip or whatever just for existing, for breathing, right?
00:41:29.280Like, you notice how much shit people are trying to get us to tip on now?
00:41:41.220And because the service is so poor across the board, if you are just reasonably good at your service, you are going to make so much fucking money because people are so accustomed to people not giving a fuck.
00:41:54.840So while I don't have a solution for you other than say your piece and don't go back and maybe write a review, you know, a real review.
00:42:04.140I'm not for these people that just go straight to, like, trying to kill places because they fucked up.
00:42:09.340I give benefit because I own businesses and I understand things can get fucked up.
00:42:13.720But if you have a situation, like, that's unreasonable, I think it's reasonable to say something.
00:42:20.320And while this may not answer your question, for all of you servers out there that say shit like, nobody respects the servers, nobody tips this, if you ain't tipping 20%, then fuck you.
00:42:35.000Because your tip is based upon the extra mile service that you provide.
00:42:41.320Your job is to bring me my fucking food, okay?
00:42:44.820But if you bring it with a smile and you're happy and you're fun and you're cool and you make good conversation, you keep my drinks going and everything comes out right and you're nice and pleasant, you're going to make...
00:42:56.420Bro, I usually tip, like, 100% of the fucking meal anywhere I go, okay?
00:43:00.800So if you see me coming, you're going to get two options.
00:43:03.700You're going to get 100% or you're going to get fucking nothing.
00:45:29.540And if you're someone in service and you treat every single person as if they were that one piece of shit that you dealt with that day, you're never going to make any money.
00:45:40.660The right strategy is to say, well, I know that one out of the 30 tables I had was shitty, but I'm going to treat all of them the same knowing that the balance is going to equate and come out in my favor, right?
00:45:56.100You're going to have short-term memory loss.
00:46:00.560Like if you quit selling the minute someone says no, how are you going to win?
00:46:03.360If you quit providing extra value because someone was mean to you and didn't appreciate it, how are you going to win?
00:46:09.640If you quit working hard because your boss didn't see you or acknowledge you for this one thing, how are you going to get better?
00:46:17.060And people shoot themselves in the foot more often than not by having this attitude of, well, I could do all this work and it won't be appreciated.
00:46:24.240Just because it wasn't appreciated one time doesn't mean it won't be appreciated.
00:46:27.560Just because you got passed over one time doesn't mean you won't get, you know, get to go up two or three spots the next time.