REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 727. Q&AF： Culture Building Activities At Work, Forgiving Yourself & 3 Most Important Skills In Business

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this

00:00:18.900 can't do that on the show bro you cannot do that

00:00:23.480 what you're gonna chase away everybody what happened

00:00:30.000 what a little too urban for us

00:00:32.560 this is a show for the realists say goodbye to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and af that's where uh you send in the q's and we give you the afs now you can submit your questions a couple different ways the first way is guys email these questions in to ask andy at andy for seller.com 0.99

00:01:00.000 what it's like 50 cent in 2005. that motherfucker's like 10 cent 0.95

00:01:07.040 or you can go on youtube in the comment section of the q and af episode and drop your question in the comments there as well 0.96

00:01:17.280 uh throughout the week we're gonna have shows within the show okay today is q and af this is where we start the week off and we get better

00:01:24.320 tomorrow we're gonna have cti this is where we talk about what's going on in the world

00:01:28.260 uh that's called cruise the internet for those of you that don't know we put topics on the screen we talk about what's going on

00:01:34.560 we speculate on what's true and what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have to solve the problems going on in society

00:01:40.960 other times throughout the week we're gonna have real talk real talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk

00:01:46.920 and then we have 75 hard verses that is where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show

00:01:54.020 talks about how their life was before how their life is now and how you can use the 75 hard program

00:02:00.080 and the live hard program to transform your life as well if you're unfamiliar with live hard and 75 hard

00:02:05.500 it is the world's most popular mental transformation program in history you can get it for free at episode 208

00:02:12.100 on the audio feed only it is not on youtube we weren't on youtube back then so uh there's also a book

00:02:19.160 the book is available at andy fursella.com it's called the book on mental toughness it will outline the entire live

00:02:24.780 hard program top to bottom uh also 10 extra chapters on mental toughness why it's important

00:02:29.820 and how you need to implement it in your life to get the most out of your life and then we have

00:02:33.640 a bunch of case studies on some very famous people that you will recognize it talks about how they use

00:02:38.180 mental toughness to become the people that you recognize all right we have a fee for the show the 0.71

00:02:43.340 fee is not a subscription we don't ask you to buy shit uh but we do ask you that if the show makes you 0.88

00:02:48.760 think if it makes you laugh it gives you a new perspective if you get some good information uh please share

00:02:54.360 the show all right we're always battling censorship shadow bans traffic throttling

00:02:59.600 uh you name it we talk about all the stuff on the internet that you're not supposed to talk about

00:03:05.400 which is some total bullshit but anyhow if we want the message to get out we need your help so uh we 0.57

00:03:11.820 have this thing called the fee you're going to notice i don't run ads on the show i'm probably the 0.86

00:03:15.600 only show in the world that's this large that doesn't run ads i could make eight figures running

00:03:20.000 ads i don't do it because i have businesses and i fund the show myself and i don't want anybody

00:03:25.180 telling me what i can or can't say in exchange for that i just want a little bit of help from

00:03:29.260 you guys all right i want you to share the show i want you to put it out there i want you to have

00:03:32.780 conversations about it so uh do me a solid we'll do you a solid don't be a hoe share the show all 0.99

00:03:38.960 right you know i was thinking about your little comment there which one you called me a uh you said

00:03:43.440 10 cent 10 cent really you're like 90 cent well you say 10 cent that makes me a dime and i'll take it

00:03:48.480 i misspoke i'm at 90 cent you got to lean down a little bit to get 50 cent bro yeah

00:03:55.720 you know yeah 50 cent 50 cent is pretty jacked you know you gotta get a little leaner you get

00:04:03.300 down to 50 you get down to 250 cent 250 cent yeah three three 50 yeah no two dose

00:04:11.160 what's going on man nothing man yeah yeah just you know got my uh man 50 cent was jacked back

00:04:20.940 like he's still in good shape but i mean dude when he came out with uh with with his first album

00:04:26.260 yeah or and he had uh in in the club yeah and he's wearing that bulletproof vest on stage he's

00:04:33.180 all jacked bro dude was yoked i remember he tried to do that movie where he had like cancer or some

00:04:38.460 shit do you remember that yeah he shouldn't do that anyway but yeah you know what i'm talking 0.80

00:04:45.200 about you don't know what i'm talking about nah man you didn't see that movie nope look what's it 1.00

00:04:49.700 called what was it called i don't know but it looks bad look i mean oh shit motherfucker god damn it 1.00

00:05:00.400 these goddamn computers get me every time well you know what they say 1.00

00:05:04.320 you didn't see that movie holy shit is that him that's him oh no i never saw that that's crazy 0.99

00:05:13.860 dude yeah he lost all that weight yeah i think that was supposed to be like him it wasn't him 0.96

00:05:17.920 getting was that him the story of him getting shot or something okay yeah i don't know did he really 1.00

00:05:23.180 lose all that weight yeah dang yeah that's crazy yeah shouldn't do that shit man he looks like he 1.00

00:05:30.340 should be uh hijacking boats and fucking uh in fucking somalia what i am the captain yeah that's 1.00

00:05:38.080 right fucking 50 cent the captain you're gonna steal your 50 cent anyway hey this is q and af man it is 0.99

00:05:47.560 q and af all right because we're making people better that's right hey and we're doing that 0.99

00:05:51.800 started off with a laugh hey it's all right yeah nothing wrong with it well guys and you know 0.96

00:05:56.860 it's scientifically proven that laughter makes you healthier will you fucking find me a new co-host 0.92

00:06:07.640 bro are we serious we see i'll put some applications please i am taking applications for a new co-host 0.95

00:06:19.380 all right so leave your suggestions in the comment section right here on the show

00:06:24.560 um and by the way those are you who only listen on audio you should probably watch on youtube i think

00:06:30.280 you would like it just saying yeah anyway new co-host applications i'm welcoming them

00:06:36.760 feel free to drop your application in the comments yep we'll go from there yep all right plenty of

00:06:43.320 mayonnaise yeah i'm in your guys uh andy

00:06:47.480 what i got some good ones for you man i know you do got some good ones for you i know you do

00:06:54.400 um let's uh let's put our game faces on yeah all right stop messing around i've been trying to keep

00:07:01.080 this you ready i can read the questions to myself we can just do it that way all right all right let's

00:07:12.060 get into these don't you forget don't you remember what i said about people that wear their hats

00:07:14.880 backwards no clearly what'd you say we have to go back and listen on what episode doesn't matter

00:07:22.040 is that real certified it anyway sal does this all the time

00:07:29.340 all right let's do the show all right come on guys let's get it all right stop messing around

00:07:37.400 we got people trying to get better here and you just real no we're gonna make them better 0.98

00:07:41.620 grab assing and shit think i'm popping each other's assholes um all right guys any question 0.99

00:07:47.420 huh that's not what grab assing means what'd you say 1.00

00:07:51.260 i think he said grabbing assholes i think that's what he said too 0.97

00:07:57.600 no that's not what i said it's a finger finger popping you guys never seen 22 jump street 0.98

00:08:03.480 all right let's just move on let's get to this let's get to the great it's a great movie

00:08:08.460 which one there's two of them no that was the first it was 21 jump street yeah the new ones okay

00:08:14.580 yeah they're good do you know who was in the original yeah it was uh kevin bacon and uh

00:08:20.440 yeah who was the other was kevin baker yeah i've seen the original one you have

00:08:24.460 hey i'm actually impressed you've seen it yeah 0.99

00:08:27.500 yep all right let's go damn dude we're eight minutes in everybody else already turn this shit 0.98

00:08:35.760 off guys andy question number one andy uh i'm 36 and i run a team of 20 people in my business 0.99

00:08:43.040 my team has become so used uh so used to the typical culture building activities top golf bowling

00:08:50.860 dinners axe throwing etc that i feel like they don't really enjoy them anymore what's the best

00:08:56.640 way to completely realign an entire company and hit home the meaning of a winning culture

00:09:01.500 and playing as a team how do you do that by winning okay you can have all the barbecues you want

00:09:08.640 you can go play all the golf you want you can go out to all the dinners you want you can go to top 0.78

00:09:14.740 golf you can hold hands you can sing kubaya you can do all that shit bro but nothing bonds a team 0.99

00:09:20.940 like winning that is the bottom line and a lot of you guys think you're going to substitute 0.95

00:09:25.900 actually winning and performing for things that are you know like having a pizza party in the in

00:09:32.320 the company kitchen and that's just not going to do it guys um ultimately the way that people

00:09:37.820 respect and love and and enjoy working together is because they struggle they overcome and then

00:09:43.500 they celebrate together on the unified effort to overcome the problem with the solution so if you

00:09:49.720 really want to build a good culture obviously there's a whole i could talk about this for

00:09:54.120 a week straight i could do a whole week workshop but i'm going to summarize it in two minutes um you

00:10:00.700 got to win okay so those things that you're trying to do will take on a different meaning when you are

00:10:07.920 kicking ass all right so what do you got to do to get your team to win how do you get them to get 0.90

00:10:13.380 focused how do you get them to all row in the same direction how do you get them to understand what 0.99

00:10:18.120 they're trying to do you have to be very clear about what the mission is you have to be very clear

00:10:22.760 about what the values are the framework so to speak about how you're going to operate to get where you

00:10:27.880 want to go and then you have to be very clear about actual performance expectations and making sure that

00:10:33.000 people hit them and if you can do those things you'll start to produce wins and it won't matter if

00:10:37.860 you're sitting out back with a weber kettle having some burgers or if you're in vegas at a pool party

00:10:42.560 or if you're at uh the vatican or whatever you do to bond your team uh traveling activities it won't

00:10:50.140 matter it'll be awesome so winning is the key component that most people lose when they try to

00:10:55.760 build a culture they try to have a mediocre company that produces mediocre results and then

00:11:00.960 have amazing culture and you can't have that you can't there's not a medium think of it in sports

00:11:06.600 there is not a team that goes 500 that has an awesome culture it doesn't exist it doesn't matter

00:11:14.560 how much you do how much you train all these things that you do to try to build it or manufacture it

00:11:20.400 great culture ultimately comes from working together and then overcoming obstacles together

00:11:26.980 this is why great football teams or great sports teams that bond is developed in the training it's

00:11:34.180 developed in the suffering it's developed in the two days or the hard practices where everybody

00:11:39.120 else isn't out there and it's 100 degrees and you're sweating your ass off and then you start to 0.58

00:11:44.280 win because of those actions that you did collectively those are the things that actually produce great

00:11:49.080 culture and so i feel like a lot of companies try to band-aid that lack of winning with a positive

00:11:57.960 culture and you have to understand it doesn't work you're never going to have a team that's losing

00:12:02.120 you're never going to have a team that's 500 you're never even going to have a team that's okay

00:12:06.100 like pretty good that has a great culture great culture legitimately comes from winning and then you

00:12:12.220 can refine it you can direct it you can bring it in so that it self-replicates and becomes the actual

00:12:19.940 feeling of the business right just like when you walk into your favorite restaurant and you get a

00:12:24.680 feeling there's a reason you go there because it feels a certain way and a lot of you guys want your

00:12:30.240 company to feel that way but you can't do that unless you actually teach your people how to win

00:12:35.360 first and and that requires a direction that requires a framework and then you know you start

00:12:41.860 to harness it in and direct it where you need it to go over the course of time and it becomes a living

00:12:45.840 breathing actual organism that doesn't necessarily need you to think about it all the time because the

00:12:53.340 team what do you say you had 80 uh 30 20 people 20 that's enough people for it to regulate itself

00:12:59.680 so like when a new person comes in okay those people will will will make sure that the new

00:13:06.340 person fits the culture and if they don't fit the culture they'll weed them out so uh this is what we

00:13:12.120 do in rta guys like if you wanted to join rta syndicate.com that's what ed and i do we teach these

00:13:17.860 kind of things in depth um we put on a number of workshops throughout the year to really teach these

00:13:23.320 things in depth but ultimately guys good culture comes from winning um it doesn't come from a sign you

00:13:28.700 hang in the locker room it doesn't come from some values you put on the wall that you don't live by

00:13:33.640 you don't communicate by you don't hire by you don't fire by and that's what people think culture

00:13:38.060 is culture people think that culture is an accident which is a big mistake and then they also think

00:13:44.060 that it's just as simple as defining a mission statement and some core values and like making some 0.99

00:13:50.680 cool signs that go on the wall that say shit like integrity right like what is what the fuck does 0.98

00:13:55.980 that even mean and they don't coach on it they don't talk about it they don't relate it to people 0.99

00:14:00.440 and it becomes just a sign you know how many of you guys played a high school sports where they had some

00:14:05.820 sticker on the wall that said you know effort right what the fuck does that mean and so there's a lot to 0.64

00:14:13.060 this when it comes to creating a great business culture uh but ultimately it's going to come from 0.96

00:14:18.280 the small wins and then you build upon that and just trying to take them to top golf or this or that

00:14:23.700 that's not going to get it done bro you need to you need to have some wins to start building on it

00:14:27.780 yeah i love that man i think also too man another thing is like correct me if i'm wrong here but i

00:14:33.080 feel like a lot of people always typically see the end result of what somebody else is doing

00:14:37.480 right and they copy that thinking that's going to get them there for sure when in reality was a lot

00:14:42.860 of work that was put in a process for that right yeah i mean that's true bro you know it takes years

00:14:48.640 and years and years to build a strong culture in an organization whether that be a football team

00:14:53.060 baseball team a church a company it doesn't matter the organizations are all the same you're taking

00:14:57.960 a big group of people and you're getting them aligned and you're getting them to move a certain

00:15:01.700 direction and uh that takes time because you can't do that in a day you can't do it in a week and you

00:15:07.260 can't do it without resistance the minute you start to try to redefine what your culture is and you try 0.91

00:15:11.640 to redefine that you're going to lose people this is why like when teams do rebuilding they fucking get 0.90

00:15:17.200 rid of everybody they get rid of all the coaches they get rid of all the players that are any good 0.98

00:15:21.660 and they say fuck it we're starting over because the culture needs to be built from the bottom up 0.92

00:15:26.260 and a lot of people don't want to put the effort in they don't want to put the time in they don't 0.99

00:15:29.700 know how to they think that culture building you know a lot of people look at bill belichick right 0.92

00:15:34.740 or nick saban and they think like fuck dude he just gets all the players so like he's just great no 0.95

00:15:40.040 dude that's these guys are masters at what i'm talking about okay they know how to do this from 0.97

00:15:46.100 the ground up and they know how to do it with any kind of player by the way st louis cardinals a

00:15:51.580 great organization to talk about culture all right they're here in st louis where we're from

00:15:55.280 you know we don't we very rarely go out and sign big stars all of our players come from the bottom

00:16:01.940 and work their way up through the farm system and become stars and then we win with those you know

00:16:06.500 st louis is one of the winningest teams in all of baseball history and we come from one of the

00:16:11.620 smallest markets and it's because the culture is so strong and it actually permeates out from the

00:16:16.920 team into the fan base and that's the part where a lot of you guys want because you look at companies 0.98

00:16:22.160 that have fanatical fan bases but you don't even have fanatical employees so how the fuck are you 0.90

00:16:27.460 going to have fanatical fan base without fanatical employees you can't and you think that solving it is

00:16:32.600 going to be like oh we got a cake for karen's birthday hey guess what guys we got karen's birthday 0.98

00:16:37.060 today in the in the we got a cake like that's not culture either okay motherfuckers want to win 1.00

00:16:42.440 they want to kick ass they want to beat people's ass human beings are competitive dude they're not 1.00

00:16:47.420 docile average fat little slobs by default we're fucking warriors bro and we want to win and when you 1.00

00:16:55.540 unlock someone's potential to want to win by showing them what a win feels like it changes everything in 0.96

00:17:01.080 them so decide where you're going develop a mission statement develop some values that create the

00:17:07.300 framework we are going to move forward within this framework we are not going to do unethical things

00:17:12.460 we are going to all the things you want your company to represent define those things start

00:17:18.560 moving forward and make sure that you're winning and when you start to win it won't matter what culture

00:17:23.420 building things you do you can't band-aid this it's it's honestly dude real talk if you're interested in

00:17:30.260 doing this you need to join arte that's the truth because we talk about this it's literally the

00:17:35.440 entire foundation of what we talk about of how to build a company when we're not in there this isn't 0.90

00:17:40.460 personal coaching this isn't you know fucking kumbaya i'm not going to get in there and show you how to 0.99

00:17:47.700 build a fucking funnel or do any e-com shit that's not what we do i trust that you know how to do some of 0.99

00:17:53.800 that stuff what we do is we teach you how to build a fucking company okay so for those of you that want to 0.99

00:17:59.240 build a company and you want to build a solid company that makes a difference and makes a 0.99

00:18:03.340 fuck ton of money and kicks everybody's ass arte is the place to go and there's nobody else out there 0.99

00:18:08.540 that can teach it because none of these other motherfuckers have done that yeah i fucking love 0.99

00:18:12.580 it man guys andy question number two uh andy i'm 33 years old my question uh is very simple 0.98

00:18:18.520 how do you forgive yourself for a mistake you made in the past when i was 22 years old i made a really

00:18:26.740 bad decision um and i have paid the price and accepted the consequences but here i am 11 years

00:18:32.500 later and while i made right my wrongs i'm still paying for it how does one truly forgive themselves

00:18:40.100 well look that's i think that's a hard thing especially for a highly driven person

00:18:47.280 because if you're an ambition i'm assuming that you are a driven ambitious person or you probably

00:18:52.980 wouldn't listen to the show when you're a highly driven ambitious person you hold high standards

00:19:00.560 for yourself and the people around you and because you hold such high standards for the people around

00:19:07.140 you you inadvertently usually hold even higher standards for yourself so this is a common problem

00:19:14.620 with people who are leaders who are uh people who understand the weight of leadership that they have

00:19:23.040 um and when they make mistakes it's usually pretty hard for them to let it go but what i've learned

00:19:28.220 is a couple things one being a leader that never makes mistakes or being a human that never makes

00:19:34.940 mistakes is not admirable in any way shape or form your power is in the lessons that you've learned

00:19:41.520 from the mistakes that you've made and if you've made some big mistakes that means you've got some

00:19:45.940 big fucking power and you understand some big lessons about life that a lot of people don't 0.75

00:19:50.680 so what i would make you understand is that you need to lean into that and start sharing those lessons 0.98

00:19:56.000 that you've learned with other people so that they understand what you've learned without having to go

00:20:00.200 through the process that's the first thing the second thing is is when you do that people respect you more

00:20:04.780 people respect people who are honest about who they are and transparent about who they are

00:20:09.680 whether it's good or whether it's bad you know there's a lot of people on the internet that want

00:20:13.700 to pretend like they're infallible and they're perfect and they're and those people get attacked

00:20:18.260 hardcore because everybody knows that none of us are perfect this is why i come on the show all the

00:20:24.120 time and i tell you guys bro i'm the farthest thing from perfect i have literally made every single 0.65

00:20:29.500 fucking mistake in my life that you could possibly fucking make okay so i understand what it's like to 0.96

00:20:35.380 like and it's probably why you guys listen to me because i made all those fucking mistakes and i know 0.99

00:20:39.580 a lot of answers all right so don't shy away from being just honest with yourself like hey yeah i 0.96

00:20:44.680 fucked up bro but here's what i learned and i can help other people with that then as i was saying 0.89

00:20:49.460 the second part is is that when you are transparent and you are a human being people respect you more 0.99

00:20:53.840 they say okay that dude's been through some shit he owned it i can learn from him i respect that he's

00:20:59.540 working through it and it makes people feel better about you not worse i think people have an 0.74

00:21:04.100 underlying fear where they think like if they find out this thing about me they're gonna think i'm a 0.97

00:21:08.520 piece of shit maybe but probably only if you lie about it if you actually told the truth and say 0.94

00:21:15.400 yeah man i made a terrible decision um i was a different person then yeah and you you just kind 1.00

00:21:21.920 of say what i think people really identify with that because dude we're all that all of us are that

00:21:26.600 these social media people that pretend like they're perfect they're lying dude this is a lie

00:21:30.860 all of those people have a i actually believe the people who have the most polished image on the 0.97

00:21:39.800 internet are the people with the most skeletons in their fucking closet okay so when you look at 0.89

00:21:45.400 these people and they make you feel bad because they seem like they've never made a mistake like 1.00

00:21:49.540 these pastors and shit online who try to like make it you know what fuck just wait a couple of years 0.99

00:21:53.980 and look at the headlines when they come out after that right and dude listen it's just not true 0.99

00:21:59.200 ever the the human experience involves bad decision making and then dealing with the consequences of

00:22:09.540 those decisions there's not a human being that's ever lived in the entire history of earth that has

00:22:13.960 ever got around that okay um besides jesus okay let's be real so when we think about like

00:22:23.280 what we're looking at and what we're comparing to remember that when you're comparing yourself to a

00:22:28.260 bunch of people that appear to be perfect they have just as many things in their past as you do

00:22:32.700 that they're just not talking about because they're afraid like i said in the first part that people are

00:22:37.340 going to find out and judge them harshly and they're refusing to step into their obligation to teach

00:22:42.780 people the lessons that they've learned from making those hard mistakes because they're embarrassed

00:22:47.080 all right i don't think there's a lot of nobility in that so with all that being said how do you

00:22:53.160 forgive yourself and that's a hard thing man because like i i have struggled with this myself

00:22:58.900 because i anybody that's around me knows that i hold very high standards for everybody around me

00:23:04.520 and so when i when i don't hold those standards i'm 10 times harder on myself than i am on anybody

00:23:10.040 around me and i think we all are if we have integrity and we are driven human beings that have

00:23:14.800 high expectations um so what i've come to understand about forgiving yourself uh aside from all the

00:23:24.620 things i just mentioned is like you have to kind of think of it like you would think of it

00:23:30.040 if your friend did it okay so like whatever it is you did let's just imagine that you didn't do it 0.95

00:23:37.260 but your best friend did it okay and your best friend comes to you and they say hey man i fucked 0.94

00:23:44.460 this up dude i did this thing 11 years ago i still feel bad about it i feel guilty about it

00:23:50.220 it's really messing with my head what do you think okay and what would you say to that person and i think

00:23:56.960 what most people would say is they would say hey look dude that's life shit happens you made a bad

00:24:02.080 choice you've improved yourself you're a different person now we got to use those lessons and we got to 0.83

00:24:06.620 keep moving down the path and that's what you would say to that person if that person were your friend

00:24:10.660 i think i think most people would say something like that if it was really bad they say well that's

00:24:14.720 really bad bro you shouldn't do that let's make sure that doesn't happen again that's what a good

00:24:18.800 friend would say right and so you have sometimes you got to be a good friend to yourself and you got

00:24:22.980 to treat yourself as you would treat your friend so that's how i deal with those things you know like

00:24:27.480 the things i've done in my past that i'm not proud of you know i i until probably the last 0.95

00:24:35.320 three or four years i carried that shit and then i realized well hold on dude everybody else has a 0.99

00:24:42.640 bunch of fuck ups too what the fuck you know and then i started realizing well how do i get over 1.00

00:24:47.400 that what would i say to to my brother if he said that to me or what would i say to chris or what 1.00

00:24:52.400 would i say to dj if they came to me well i would say hey you're a dumbass why the fuck you do that 1.00

00:24:57.020 don't do that again right you know what i'm saying what you learned from it yeah right and so we have to 1.00

00:25:01.260 talk to ourselves as if we're talking to our best friend and instead of just beating ourselves

00:25:07.040 into nothing over these mistakes and i found that to be the best way to actually forgive yourself you

00:25:13.140 know and obviously you know whatever it is that you're holding you know part of of the forgiveness

00:25:18.940 process is if possible is trying to make that right um but outside of that man you got to chalk it up

00:25:25.900 to a lesson and keep moving forward that's that's what life's about what makes me think too man like

00:25:29.980 what's the other option you're gonna go another 11 years and well you're gonna go next 30 years

00:25:34.340 right because you did one thing right i mean look man there's things that happen you know bad things

00:25:39.180 happen um things look man i i just i don't know i just think that that's part of the life experience 0.98

00:25:48.840 you know yeah you can't carry that shit through your life and let it bury you you would you want that 0.72

00:25:54.920 for your friend right no yeah right right right so why would you do that to yourself that doesn't 0.99

00:26:00.560 make sense sometimes you got to be your own best friend i love it i love it uh guys andy uh third

00:26:07.220 and final question andy i'm 17 years old uh i know it's going to take some time but i want to have a

00:26:15.280 shit ton of money yeah what would you say is the number one skill that pays the bills i want to be

00:26:22.060 able to do anything i want help my family set my future kids up um and also what's more practical 0.95

00:26:28.040 do you get one of your tools in my tool belt really sharp then move on to the next one or do i level each

00:26:34.380 skill and tool in my belt at the same time like do i focus on building one up and then focus on the

00:26:40.120 next i just feel that personal development can be a little overwhelming sometimes trying to figure out

00:26:45.120 where to go first the reason it's overwhelming for you is because you're trying to create the perfect

00:26:49.320 product before you go that's not how it works you have to go and then along the way you acquire the

00:26:55.000 skills all right so a lot of people and i'll get to the meat of this question here in just a second

00:26:59.900 but i want you to understand this a lot of people think they can just read and consume and go to

00:27:05.440 seminars and they're going to develop all these skills and then they're going to go and it's just

00:27:09.700 going to work that's not how the fuck it works you could go to seminars you can read you can join

00:27:15.100 coaches and things like that but all they're going to do is give you the direction there's still the 0.98

00:27:19.580 work you have to do it's no different than being on a diet i can tell you what the fuck to do but 0.96

00:27:23.800 unless you go do it it doesn't matter it doesn't work so understand that it's go then learn not learn 0.91

00:27:31.520 then go all right and that's where people most people never even get past that um in terms of what

00:27:38.420 the skills are and how you develop them there is basically three main skills that will take you

00:27:45.880 from a place of no money to a place of however much money you want to get depending on how far

00:27:52.400 you want to take it and those three skills are sales management slash leadership of people

00:27:59.120 and the third one is being able to take initiative for a project and see it through from beginning to

00:28:06.020 end without anybody else's help okay most people can't do any of those and they want some gigantic

00:28:12.220 paycheck for showing up to work or starting a company like we talked about on last q and a f where

00:28:19.220 you know people think they just start a company and they're they're uh entitled to some sort of high

00:28:24.480 level lifestyle or because they show up to work they're entitled to some high level paying position 0.95

00:28:29.720 no you have to trade your value for the money that's how it fucking goes so when we think about 0.97

00:28:37.520 these three skills sales management leadership and then initiative to see a product project from 0.95

00:28:44.000 beginning to end these are the three rarest skills in any company okay so one sales how do you learn to

00:28:52.280 sell by putting yourself in a position where you have to sell over and over and over again and a great way

00:28:58.860 to do this by the way this is not an e-com funnel this is not uh through the internet this is not drop

00:29:06.660 shipping i'm legitimately talking about putting yourself in a retail environment or an environment

00:29:13.500 where you have to talk to people to learn to sell the reason why you can't just do this through e-commerce

00:29:19.900 because the principles that apply to creating ads that work you will actually learn face-to-face

00:29:27.100 through these reps okay so if you want to learn sales the fastest way possible you need to put

00:29:33.480 yourself in a position where you are talking to people and selling them either on the phone or in person

00:29:38.620 many many times a day 30 40 50 times a day okay that will sharpen your scale your sales skill set

00:29:45.340 as quickly as you possibly can management leadership that will come after you become successful at selling

00:29:53.120 because if you're a great salesman eventually you will be asked to train other salesmen you will be

00:29:59.460 asked to lead or organize other salesmen which by the way just because you can sell doesn't mean you 0.97

00:30:05.700 can manage salesmen all right it's a totally different skill set and you need to fucking understand that 0.88

00:30:10.920 so once you're great at selling you're going to be asked hey here's five sales people i want you to run 0.92

00:30:16.860 this team now you have to learn how to lead and manage that's a whole different skill set and guess how

00:30:22.460 you're going to do that the same way you learn the first one reps over and over and over and over

00:30:27.920 and over again making mistakes learning consuming all the information following great leadership

00:30:33.240 reading great leadership books like uh vince lombardi books or uh john wooden books or anything that jocko

00:30:40.560 has written these are amazing leadership resources that will help you quicken the process but won't do the

00:30:48.560 process for you you still have to go do it um and then after that the the third skill will sort of

00:30:55.440 materialize because you have developed the two main skills which are sales and marketing and leadership

00:31:00.900 and then along the way there'll be a number of projects that you have to come up with and then develop

00:31:07.980 and put out as a finished product right whether that be a new system of operations uh an sop or some sort

00:31:16.560 of procedure or whatever you're gonna say okay we have a we have a problem here or it could be a

00:31:22.560 product we could make a product here because it could be in sales right this product would sell here's

00:31:28.120 how we develop it all the way i developed this product i'm selling it look at this that's what

00:31:32.100 entrepreneurship about if you're an entrepreneur that might be inside of a business hey i think this

00:31:36.240 would work you build the product build the solution take the presentation to your higher ups and say look

00:31:42.440 this will work this is how i did it i did it from idea to finish concept all we got to do is write 0.95

00:31:47.780 the check and i'm gonna go sell them fuck ton of this shit that's those people are valuable dude like 0.99

00:31:52.720 they're infinitely valuable if you can learn these three skill sets you can write your fucking paycheck 0.99

00:31:58.380 legitimately because if your company won't fucking pay it and you actually have those skills like you 0.99

00:32:04.300 truly have those skills i'm not talking about all you motherfuckers that think you're great at what the 1.00

00:32:09.320 fuck you do yet you don't have any dollars in your bank account okay how can you be great at what 0.99

00:32:14.180 you do if you don't have any dollars in your bank account that that is a misunderstanding of your value 1.00

00:32:20.700 which is a lot of people have a lot of people believe they are way more valuable than they are

00:32:25.720 when the reality of their value tells them the story they just refuse to look at it they don't look

00:32:31.120 at their house they don't look at their cars they don't look at the money they're making and they 0.99

00:32:34.500 think well i'm getting fucked no you're not good enough bro you are not skilled enough because if 0.99

00:32:40.200 you were your company might not pay you but somebody else's will okay so once you start to understand the 0.99

00:32:48.020 true value of your skill set and you're producing results bro you walk in the boss's office and say

00:32:54.920 hey bro uh i'm the best at this i'm the best at this i'm the best at this i did this i did this i did this

00:33:01.640 i built this person i developed these people i saw this project through and nobody else in here 0.98

00:33:07.740 doing this shit i'm worth this and and i love you but if you don't pay me that i'm gonna fucking go 0.99

00:33:13.700 over here okay and that's how you do it you gotta you gotta hold your fucking boss hostage like and i 0.99

00:33:20.720 hate to say that because i'm fucking boss right but that's how it works no the truth is if i had a 0.99

00:33:26.260 motherfucker that come to me he has all those skill sets he says hey this i'm gonna say all right 0.99

00:33:32.940 because like i don't want to take the time to develop that person all over again you see what 0.99

00:33:37.860 i'm saying that's years and years and years and years so but but dude going back to last q and a f

00:33:42.860 if you haven't listened to last q and a f we covered this a lot of people believe that they are much

00:33:48.820 better than they really are okay and you're dude you have to be able to observe the objective

00:33:54.200 reality of where you are it's not like if your friends and family are gassing you up and telling 0.78

00:33:59.180 you you're great guess what that don't mean shit okay if your co-workers are telling you how great 0.91

00:34:04.320 you are that don't mean shit all right joe if you're producing some music and everybody in the 0.99

00:34:10.680 building says that it's great does that mean anything no it doesn't mean anything because 0.99

00:34:14.600 they're biased they love joe what really matters is what the fucking market says does the market say 0.95

00:34:20.120 do people that don't know you say you're good do people that have no idea who you are look at your 0.99

00:34:24.880 work and say fuck bro that's amazing that's where you start to know if you're actually good and a lot 0.88

00:34:30.860 of you guys just lacked the ability because you've grown up in an entitled society where everybody gets 0.99

00:34:35.860 a trophy everybody's you know taught that they are special and great and it's just not true you're

00:34:41.180 not great you're not special you got to earn it like everybody else and that's not a dig at you 0.96

00:34:45.780 but if you go through your life thinking that you're going to be entitled to get shit for not 0.97

00:34:50.340 being very good you're going to be unsuccessful and uh i'm not doing you any favor by blowing smoke up 0.99

00:34:56.420 your ass about that like bro you're not good enough if you were good enough you'd be getting 0.98

00:35:00.140 fucking paid yeah so those are the three skills sales management slash leadership which there's in 0.99

00:35:07.820 there's nuances to both they're not the same thing but they're close enough to be put together and 0.99

00:35:12.600 then the ability to see a project from beginning to end that will either help your company or the

00:35:18.600 company that you're a part of and there's probably a four skill there too which i would consider like

00:35:22.880 a second level skill under the leadership management part if you have the ability to replicate yourself

00:35:30.240 um by leading other people and coaching them so let's say you develop this amazing skill set for

00:35:35.860 sales you're a pretty good leader and you understand how to take initiative and finish projects and then

00:35:41.040 you're able to train other people to do that and you have all three of those skills bro you're 0.99

00:35:45.080 fucking untouchable you'll run everybody else to fuck over yeah yeah i love it let me ask you this 0.99

00:35:49.540 andy because i think i think you know you mentioned this whole you know you got to learn people think 1.00

00:35:56.040 they have to learn and then go when in reality is go you learn right now when we talk about you know

00:36:01.220 along this road these skills that come up these mistakes you make that you learn from and all of these

00:36:06.780 things right is that i feel like the biggest thing here that we got to we got to hit on it what i'm

00:36:12.280 trying to hit on is awareness being aware of these are actual skills coming my way these are actual

00:36:17.660 lessons from these mistakes i can learn versus you know where you are now versus 20 years ago 25 years

00:36:24.540 ago how what what's what's the difference look like as far as actually sharpening these skills that

00:36:31.000 you have versus acquiring them in the first um the biggest difference between where i was when i was

00:36:37.540 19 and where i'm at at 44 um was that in 19 20 21 22 probably first 10 years i was in business

00:36:45.700 if i made a mistake i dwelled on the mistake for a period of time before i was willing to accept

00:36:54.260 what it taught me all right so i wasted a lot of time collectively because you make a lot of mistakes

00:37:00.200 in your first 10 years of business you're just pissed off okay so you so listen think about it

00:37:04.400 like this just think about it in math terms you make a mistake in year one you spend two weeks down

00:37:11.720 about it and then you learn a lesson then you make another mistake right after that then you spend two

00:37:16.200 weeks down about it then you accept the lesson all right and you add up all those two weeks over the

00:37:21.140 course of 10 years and you're talking about a massive amount of time that could have been saved

00:37:26.360 had you just accepted the lesson right away and not dwelled on it we have to understand that

00:37:32.660 the the quicker that we can get over it and accept the lesson the more time we have to move forward

00:37:40.880 the quicker we will get where we want to go does that make sense it makes perfect sense man okay so

00:37:45.580 that's the biggest difference between younger entrepreneurs and older entrepreneurs and by the

00:37:49.800 way if you're a young entrepreneur and you actually listen to what i'm telling you 0.98

00:37:53.280 you can learn to do that right now and you could save yourself a shit ton of time it took me fucking 0.96

00:37:57.980 20 years to figure that out you know it took me it took me legit 10 years to really figure it out 0.95

00:38:03.420 it took me another five to fucking like master it that's what i'm saying i feel like it's an awareness 0.84

00:38:08.440 thing man like like being aware that hey this is not bad this there's good in this like i can use this 0.79

00:38:14.360 man yeah yeah i think that's fucking awesome bro yeah i think it's awesome i love it guys andy 0.96

00:38:19.260 that was three yep all right let's get out there and kick ass this week guys don't be a hoe 1.00

00:38:24.240 show the show 1.00

00:38:24.960 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in 1.00

00:38:32.420 the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case close 1.00

00:38:39.600 knowing what that's right we're not good at work but i didn't just watch the show 0.99

00:38:43.960 you

00:38:46.480 you

00:38:48.480 you

00:38:48.580 you

00:38:51.060 you

00:38:55.060 you

00:38:55.680 you

00:38:57.140 you

00:38:59.200 you

00:38:59.240 you

00:39:00.220 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 17, 2024

727. Q&AF： Culture Building Activities At Work, Forgiving Yourself & 3 Most Important Skills In Business

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 17, 2024

727. Q&#x26;AF： Culture Building Activities At Work, Forgiving Yourself &#x26; 3 Most Important Skills In Business

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

727. Q&AF： Culture Building Activities At Work, Forgiving Yourself & 3 Most Important Skills In Business