REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 731. Q&AF： Responding To Competitors, Skipping Happy Hour & Being A Good Human In A Crazy World

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.060 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today as

00:00:25.360 always on mondays we have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers

00:00:31.560 now you can submit your questions a few different ways the first way is guys you can email these

00:00:36.780 questions into ask andy at andy for seller.com or you can go on youtube in the comment section on

00:00:43.020 the q and af episodes and drop your question the comments we'll pick some from there as well

00:00:46.740 through the week we're going to have shows within the show we're going to have cti tomorrow that

00:00:51.860 stands for cruise the internet that's where we put topics on the screen what's going on in the

00:00:56.100 world we speculate on what's true what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have to

00:01:00.400 solve these problems going on in the world other times we're going to have real talk real talk just

00:01:04.340 five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk just some things i think you need to hear and then

00:01:09.060 we have 75 hard verses that's where someone who comes on the show they talk about what their life

00:01:15.420 was before 75 hard now how it is now how they use the live hard and 75 hard program to realign their

00:01:21.540 lives if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard and live hard you can get the entire program for free at

00:01:28.360 episode 208 is the world's most popular mental toughness program that has ever been created

00:01:34.040 again you can get that for free on the audio feed only at episode 208 there is a book for sale

00:01:39.300 called the book on mental toughness you can get it andy for seller.com it covers the entire live hard

00:01:44.780 program if you're the kind of person who wants to know all the details highly recommend the book

00:01:50.200 but again it's unnecessary you can get the program for free at episode 208 um let's see

00:01:56.960 we have a fee for the show the fee is tell someone all right if the show makes you think if it makes

00:02:02.700 you laugh it gives you good value if you learn something it teaches you a skill please share the

00:02:07.600 show all right we don't run ads on the show you'll notice that that's a big difference uh and i don't

00:02:12.560 think there's another show of this size in the world that doesn't run ads and the reason i do that is

00:02:16.960 because i don't want to be told what i can and can't say so i rely on you guys to help us get

00:02:22.440 the show out we talk about all these things going on in the world that we're not necessarily supposed

00:02:27.300 to talk about it so uh we need you to share the show so don't be a hoe share the show all right 0.99

00:02:32.940 what's up dude what's up man not much yeah what's going on i'm all right you know over here looking a

00:02:37.720 little snazzy yeah you dressed up for the show today yeah that's nice i would bring the culture

00:02:42.340 you know i'm saying like we talk about getting better here yeah you know i'm saying trying to

00:02:46.580 up your game yep i'm strapped to the clap i got you you got a clap

00:02:50.920 brothers you gotta take some antibiotics for that bro

00:02:57.160 oh man all right yeah yeah you good man i'm good you're all right yeah got a good weekend

00:03:04.620 ahead of us yeah not behind us you tried

00:03:07.760 yeah man it's all good you know i'm ready to uh ready to answer some stuff what's going on with

00:03:15.060 you yeah no everything's good man um you know so typically guys you know how the show works i give

00:03:19.880 andy three three questions that are submitted from you guys um so i want to i want to read this uh

00:03:25.940 this email for you so um he says a little bit about me i'm a 30 year old a 30 year master plumber

00:03:32.000 and a 20 year welding inspector he owns two businesses including a whiskey distillery so he's

00:03:37.800 been around the block a few times when it comes to business um he says i'm not submitting a question

00:03:42.120 here but more of a point of observation one of my pet peeves is walking onto a job and seeing trade

00:03:48.580 personnel dressed like homeless hobos maybe i'm getting old uh but if there hasn't been a time like right

00:03:55.520 now to represent the professionalism of being a trades person i don't know when can you please

00:04:00.640 just cover the importance of dressing the part um keep your work attire clean if it's torn or has

00:04:06.600 holes in it replace it boots have heels falling off maybe time to get some new boots asses hanging 1.00

00:04:12.060 out of your pants buy a belt keep your tools clean and good working condition show some pride in your

00:04:17.040 country and the work that you do for a living i personally sew the american flag on uh all my arm sleeves

00:04:22.680 it's part of my everyday work attire um be a patriot perform well dress like you mean it your

00:04:27.480 first impression is the most important uh when you represent yourself in your business now translating

00:04:34.160 this just overall success how you carry yourself what are your thoughts on this man i think it's a

00:04:39.260 huge deal you know jerry rice used to have a saying about his foot like jerry rice was known for always

00:04:47.320 being dressed to the nines on game day all his accessories were perfect everything was perfect

00:04:52.460 he looked the best on the field and people used to tease him about it and they'd be like jerry why do

00:04:57.200 you care about all this stuff and he used to always say look good feel good play good and i think there's

00:05:02.740 a lot to that i think it equates to your overall happiness and the self-image that you have of yourself

00:05:10.200 which then relates to your confidence your ability to feel fulfilled your ability to feel good about

00:05:15.340 what you do every single day i think it's a huge deal that is often overlooked especially in the

00:05:21.320 uh trades like he's talking about um but anything that you do i think i think it's important for you

00:05:27.720 to dress as well as you can afford to dress to look as good as you can make yourself look uh and go

00:05:35.600 through life that way because you're going to have a much better life experience um i think a lot of

00:05:40.940 people you know they say what does it matter what does it matter if my you know uniform is untucked

00:05:47.340 or my ass is hanging out of my pants i'm doing construction work this is hard stuff yeah well 0.88

00:05:52.840 there's a lot of reasons why it matters okay uh the aforementioned reasons but also how does it present

00:05:58.420 itself as a business how do the customers feel when they come by their job site and they've got a

00:06:03.640 bunch of fat disgusting dudes with their ass cracks hanging out plumbers right they're sure as fuck not 1.00

00:06:09.180 telling anybody to use the business and they're embarrassed to even be around there it makes

00:06:13.220 them uncomfortable so i think both from a personal level it's very important but also from a representing

00:06:20.620 the company uh aspect it's super important and like our man said in the email representing a citizen of

00:06:29.160 this country and taking pride in how you do things how you appear what example you're setting for

00:06:35.620 other people and that's what's missing in culture you know when we talk about personal excellence being

00:06:40.120 the ultimate rebellion that's not bullshit that's real stuff okay like how you represent yourself

00:06:46.780 matters what you you you are your product man like you are your product if your product isn't good

00:06:54.700 nobody's buying it all right and this goes for being an entrepreneur being an entrepreneur being a dad

00:07:00.580 being a friend being a member of the community it doesn't matter there's no off switch where you get

00:07:06.380 to turn it off and say oh you know this doesn't matter right now you know it matters at home like

00:07:11.140 what's your spouse think of the way you look you know what i'm saying here let me tell you something

00:07:15.140 you can do to make all the things look good on you uh get your ass in shape okay because when you're 0.80

00:07:20.660 in shape you can kind of wear whatever you want and people are like damn that looks good all right so

00:07:25.820 maybe you're not a fashion icon and maybe you don't wear the best clothes or maybe you can't

00:07:30.820 afford to get the heel on your boot replaced but i bet you could if you weren't drinking a 12 pack of

00:07:35.640 beer every day i bet you could if you weren't ordering pizza every day i bet you could if you

00:07:40.240 weren't 400 pounds you had to feed your fat ass every day okay let's be real it's about aligning

00:07:45.460 priorities so i think it's a huge deal i think it's often overlooked i think people have to think about

00:07:52.480 themselves as a product and if your product's no good nobody's buying it which means you're not

00:07:57.540 going to make money you're not going to progress in a company you're not going to get a raise people

00:08:01.180 aren't going to buy your product if you own the company and that's just reality man so i think it's

00:08:06.000 more important than ever and honestly there's a huge opportunity in this because so many people just

00:08:11.720 brush it off like look at pictures of society from 80 years ago versus now all right if you're the type

00:08:19.320 of person that can present a professional image or even a good brand a good personal brand i don't

00:08:25.260 mean on social media i mean in person okay no one else is even trying look around dude how many of

00:08:32.180 these dudes out here that you're competing with are actually fit how many of them drive a nice vehicle

00:08:36.860 how many of them speak well how many of them look the part how many of them are anything but just a fat

00:08:43.080 little plebe getting a paycheck all right you you have the opportunity to compete against that 1.00

00:08:48.260 by just being well groomed and being in shape and looking nice and you know like dude i'm gonna tell

00:08:55.120 you right now if i was a construction worker i'd show up every day looking the best out of all the

00:08:59.420 dudes that's a fact bro and i think that relates to everything in our life you know we hear that saying

00:09:04.800 how you do one thing is how you do everything and i think that i think that's a fundamental reality for

00:09:10.340 for everything i think it lends itself to making more money being more satisfied being more fulfilled

00:09:17.400 being proud of what you do and i think that's a lot of what we're missing in the country yeah for sure

00:09:22.520 i think that's a one of the biggest misconceptions is people don't don't really put a lot of care into

00:09:29.100 the understanding they're like no people absolutely judge you yeah right like well don't judge a book

00:09:34.400 by its cover well that's what the cover is for is like to tell me what yeah what's the book's gonna be

00:09:38.360 about listen man that's the biggest lie and and look dude men really struggle with this and men

00:09:45.860 really struggle with this women are more accustomed to being judged by their appearance quickly yeah it's 1.00

00:09:54.540 just reality all right it's the way it is yeah i'm just speaking reality this is called real af men

00:10:00.300 are usually told by their moms who are in an unsatisfied marriage or an unsatisfied relationship

00:10:08.480 or who have been shit on by men for 20 years are not happy with whatever's going on with men they tell

00:10:15.740 their sons this shit they say it doesn't matter what your outside looks like all that matters is on the 0.84

00:10:22.260 inside and they bring up their little boys telling them this and then their little boys go out in the

00:10:27.860 world and get fucking stomped on and become these supplicating little pussies who do every single 1.00

00:10:34.680 thing that a woman asks of them and then just gets run over by them okay so we're teaching men the 1.00

00:10:41.400 opposite of what actually attracts a quality partner which is having your shit together being in good

00:10:47.760 physical shape making a good living taking care of the things that need to be taken care of as a man

00:10:53.060 these things fucking matter and if you don't live that you have to understand that what you're going 0.94

00:10:57.960 to get in return is far less than what you would uh actually be able to get if you were if you were

00:11:03.520 holding that high standard and usually that comes from moms communicating to their sons what they wish they

00:11:11.620 had now right they wish they had a nice man they wish they had a man that opened the car door for him

00:11:17.340 they wish they had they wish they had but it totally throws out the window the dynamic that is

00:11:24.740 nature you can't argue with it that women have the choice of a million sexual partners from the time

00:11:32.780 they start to hit puberty until the time uh at the end of time okay and what happens here is is that

00:11:39.820 men start to beg for this and women are only attracted to the ones that they have to chase 0.96

00:11:46.740 okay and you know what makes women want to chase you having your fucking shit together because it's 1.00

00:11:52.960 so rare so there's all these lies told especially to men around how you look and your appearance and

00:12:00.140 the only thing that matters is what's in your heart and bro the reality is it's just just not true

00:12:04.660 does that matter the most absolutely but there's a whole lot of other things that matter a lot too and

00:12:10.020 if you don't have them you're going to be very disappointed in your life yeah i love it man i love it

00:12:14.460 i love it well let's get into these questions man i got three good ones for you cool guys andy

00:12:19.540 question number one uh andy i own a service-based company detailing company i'm in a very saturated

00:12:25.680 market i've grinded sweat it and bled for this business for the last three years sacrifices missed

00:12:32.220 family shit trying to do all the right things about my business so one of my competitors has started to 0.76

00:12:38.200 see the results of his poorly managed company um and that i have stolen his client uh his clients

00:12:44.640 it's his words not mine um so he has maliciously put one star reviews on google and has spread shit 0.92

00:12:50.460 online about my business which none of it is accurate or true now my question is for you how do i respond

00:12:57.620 do i continue handling business as normal or just say fuck the guy do i beat his ass do i retaliate 0.99

00:13:03.640 in a more in a more subtle way has anyone ever tried slurring your business and or your personal

00:13:08.680 name how did you handle it um and what did you learn from these experiences yeah it happens all the

00:13:13.160 time but here's the reality as long as you keep doing what you're supposed to do and you start and

00:13:18.160 you live in the integrity that you are the eventual truth comes out and you know when people talk shit on

00:13:27.020 your business they're actually advertising for your business and what ends up happening is

00:13:32.400 eventually enough people have patronized your business to where that person that was talk shit 0.61

00:13:39.760 about or talk shit to ends up dealing with someone who had a good experience and they talk and then

00:13:45.740 that person likely comes and has an experience and they have a great experience what ends up happening

00:13:50.360 is the people who were talking shit end up looking like they're what they are which is bad people 0.87

00:13:55.220 so in time this always straightens itself out as long as you're holding yourself to a high standard

00:14:03.240 and doing the right thing so that's typically what corrects it um i'll give you a couple tips to

00:14:10.480 expedite this uh one thing is this don't get caught talking shit about them back all right uh a lot of 0.77

00:14:18.360 times business owners like to get in these verbal warfares especially on instagram and the internet it makes

00:14:23.400 you both look ridiculous and it makes people not want to do business with you at all because they

00:14:27.820 don't want to deal with someone that's that petty or ridiculous um it's unprofessional it makes you

00:14:32.740 look stupid and you shouldn't do it secondly why you shouldn't do it is because these people are

00:14:40.280 actively talking shit about you so let's say you as a customer let's just say you're a customer 0.90

00:14:45.220 you went to an auto detailing business and while this guy's cleaning your car he's like don't use

00:14:52.080 steve's auto dealing this guy this guy's a dickhead he's does this he does that he does this treats 0.91

00:14:57.740 his customers wrong blah blah blah blah blah blah right and he's talking all this shit and then 0.92

00:15:04.280 that customer ends up having a falling out with that company because usually these companies that

00:15:10.060 talk shit don't do a good job at running their business which is why he said you stole his customers

00:15:15.640 no shit that's the point of business i'm gonna take your fucking customers by being better that's what 0.99

00:15:20.900 this is about that lends itself to the point of what i talk about all the time where people shouldn't

00:15:25.880 even be entrepreneurs like if you're not comfortable to compete over that customer's business you're not

00:15:31.420 cut out to be an entrepreneur if i don't do a good job i i deserve to lose customers you should

00:15:36.640 understand that okay we're in a competition nobody steals anybody's customers those customers aren't

00:15:42.220 anybody's they're just out there and your job is to try and get them to be yours but they're only yours

00:15:47.880 for as long as you earn them and you have to continue to earn them it's a lot like a relationship

00:15:52.960 it's a lot like a friendship if you don't pour into it and you don't make it good they're not yours

00:15:59.160 i'll leave you right yeah so this is this is these people are not high level effective operators in

00:16:08.260 general that do this and so what ends up happening is those customers end up having a bad experience with

00:16:12.960 this guy and then they start looking at alternatives and then they have an experience with you where

00:16:18.500 you're doing a great job and you're kicking ass and you're treating them perfect and then all of a 0.78

00:16:23.180 sudden it clicks like a light bulb in their head holy shit this guy over here is this guy's a piece 0.94

00:16:28.780 of shit right he's a liar he was doing yeah exactly and so like dude you know my policy is always that 0.93

00:16:35.600 we're like when someone comes to me and they're like oh your competition is talking shit i'm just like 0.85

00:16:39.900 yo well i've heard nothing but good shit about those guys that's weird i thought we were cool 0.52

00:16:45.240 you know and you just say something like that and blow it off and the customer that that that sends

00:16:51.380 the signal to the customer like wait a minute why is this guy saying this and this guy's saying that

00:16:57.940 and it makes them curious you dig yourself in a hole by getting into that back and forth so

00:17:03.240 there's that i wouldn't talk shit on your on your competition even when they're talking shit to you 0.93

00:17:07.920 um thirdly i would just be so much better than them that they can't compete that's the bottom

00:17:13.800 line like when people can't compete that's when they get pissed off so i would focus on you just

00:17:18.740 being the best that you can and then uh you know if it becomes too big of a problem there's always ways

00:17:24.960 to you know make people's lives difficult and legally and uh you know that's why you shouldn't

00:17:31.800 fuck with people that have more resources than you you shouldn't you shouldn't start things with 0.85

00:17:36.200 people who have more resources more relationships more money because those people can do things

00:17:40.880 legally that can really just make your life fucking ridiculous and i'm not above doing that like 0.96

00:17:46.320 if people fuck with me and they step on my toes i'll step on their fucking throat and that's what 0.99

00:17:51.520 business is about like if we're out there in the wild and and some bully's about to fucking get at my 0.94

00:17:57.120 shit i'm gonna kill them right okay and that's that's the law of nature and it applies to that in 0.90

00:18:02.740 business as well try to have civil try to handle things well but i don't do this publicly i don't

00:18:08.160 go out and talk a bunch of shit i just handle it yeah that person may not even ever know ever 0.88

00:18:12.560 yeah bro listen man um you know i that's how it is man yeah it is what it is like dude it's very easy

00:18:21.340 for someone with unlimited resources when you have limited resources to basically spend unlimited

00:18:27.300 resources online or in advertising or targeting your customers or opening up a fucking store right 0.97

00:18:35.200 next to yours and giving all the shit away for free whatever the fuck they got to do like i had 0.96

00:18:39.580 a i had a competitor one no for real that's some crazy shit man you do what you got to do bro i had 0.92

00:18:44.300 a competitor one time who was trying to undercut me yeah and i opened up a fucking store a block 0.99

00:18:48.640 away and sold everything like five dollars cheaper at a loss until he went away yeah so like

00:18:53.680 dude it didn't cost me shit yeah so like dude this is this is what you do like when people don't go 0.84

00:18:59.500 away and they continue to poke and poke and poke and poke and you're the guy with resources they're

00:19:05.460 stupid because you could people don't think about that yeah like i had a guy who has a fucking gym 0.96

00:19:09.900 running his mouth i called him up on the phone and i'm like hey you realize i can open a gym right

00:19:15.240 next to you and give memberships away for free right and when i fucking said that his tone totally 0.98

00:19:19.720 changed because he hadn't thought about that but i'm a fuck that's what i will do right like i will 0.89

00:19:24.780 fucking bury you bro and if you want to fuck with me after we've had civil discourse and we've you know 0.99

00:19:31.980 i've said hey this is don't do this i won't do this and you still decide to do it i will open a gym

00:19:37.980 right next to you and i will fucking make it free until you go away and but listen they don't think 0.92

00:19:42.940 like that people don't think like that and it's very easy for someone that is in a power position to do

00:19:48.100 those things so you should never ever ever fuck with someone who's got more money than you

00:19:52.780 ever that's the ignorance it's almost like you know this ladder analogy that we talk about here

00:19:57.380 right you got people above you on the ladder this is the ignorance of those people trying to pull

00:20:00.680 those people yeah they don't get it yeah bro i've seen this kick you off bro i've listen

00:20:06.200 i've seen some crazy shit happen i saw a dude one time 0.58

00:20:12.880 i know a guy who i shouldn't even tell this story i know a guy who

00:20:22.600 the trainer a trainer started having sex with his wife okay so this guy who had a lot of money

00:20:32.920 bought the strip center of the trainer's gym and evicted him out of the strip oh fuck yeah

00:20:38.720 yeah that's some bullshit right there and not only did he do it once he did it twice so when the 0.63

00:20:44.800 guy moved he did it again so like look dude you don't fuck with people because they fucking make 0.99

00:20:49.900 your life hard yeah you know what i'm saying that's real shit it's easier to just be good in 0.67

00:20:54.200 business yeah just be good it's a healthy competition's good it's a it's a it's how it

00:20:58.640 works yeah you know what i mean that's real shit man i love it i love it uh guys any question 0.63

00:21:03.460 number two uh what's up andy uh when you talk about the people who skip out for happy hours on

00:21:09.100 thursdays party all weekend and waste time that's me uh you were talking about me good news is i've

00:21:16.740 completely changed my outlook on this behavior uh made some drastic changes um and my friends uh have

00:21:23.200 actually for the most part been pretty supportive of it um now they still go out they still invite me

00:21:27.920 but they don't give me shit for saying no um i found so much more time to do what's going to 0.72

00:21:33.820 move me forward my question is i still get the cravings to go out i still get the desire to just

00:21:40.360 go out and i know deep down it's not moving me forward when i do i start my weeks off great then i

00:21:46.220 get to friday and it's like i can feel the momentum slowing and going down i need some clarity or insight

00:21:53.660 on simple ways to help uh keep my focus locked in um and how to just keep moving forward despite

00:21:59.620 the cravings to go out um and just party i appreciate all that you do andy what we got on

00:22:03.540 this how do we maintain that momentum i'll be real dude i i had that exact same problem for a long time

00:22:09.180 for for years and years and years and years my entire social life revolved around alcohol all right

00:22:15.320 it was thursday night i would have a couple drinks friday night went pretty hard saturday you know

00:22:22.640 go out again sunday day drink to try and nurse my yeah right i did that for years and but like all my

00:22:29.600 friends did it all of our employees did it we all went out together it was a real thing

00:22:34.160 and it became the culture of our social life and uh because i lived that way for so long and i worked

00:22:41.680 in the bar scene for so long it was really hard for me when it came thursday friday saturday and

00:22:47.820 especially sunday during the day to know what to do with my time when i wasn't doing those things so

00:22:55.380 uh you know honestly the best thing that's helped me and didn't just help me here but it's helped me

00:23:02.020 literally every single area was just getting away from alcohol dude like i i can't

00:23:08.320 removing alcohol from my life was probably the most effective thing that i've ever done

00:23:16.960 in terms of making myself better in terms of making my relationships better my life better my

00:23:22.960 fitness better my my money better i mean dude not say i'm a totally sober person i'll still drink

00:23:29.800 three four five times a year um but it is definitely not part of my life and once you do that for a long

00:23:37.240 enough time which is a beautiful part of living the live hard lifestyle because a lot of people

00:23:42.760 don't realize the live hard lifestyle is a yearly program that you repeat every single year okay it's

00:23:48.420 not 75 hard once in a while you do 75 hard every single year you do phase one two three every single

00:23:55.680 year and by living in that lifestyle you get removed from alcohol it's slowly it's not like this

00:24:02.260 you know oh i'm just quitting it's just eventually you stop craving it and you stop wanting it

00:24:07.780 and i dude you know i don't couldn't even tell you the last time i felt that feeling of like hey i

00:24:15.160 want to have some beers i mean yeah once in a while it comes but dude you saw me have half a beer at

00:24:21.340 fucking summer smash i did i fuck what i do do it away i dude i drank i drank half of a beer and i'm 0.99

00:24:27.000 like this is fucking gross yeah i threw it away like dude it's just once you kind of get out of 0.99

00:24:31.700 it you're out of it and um so i would recommend you know just removing yourself more and more and

00:24:38.300 more from that lifestyle because dude i got to be real with you and this is no disrespect to anybody

00:24:43.280 else but you know i removed myself from drinking in 2018 okay so what's that 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 that's

00:24:53.640 six years of seven years of pretty much removing myself from that scene and this is not this is the

00:25:01.620 100 truth bro when i go to my bars that i used to go to now just because i always go to the same

00:25:07.180 couple places it's all the same people doing the same thing they're they're 50 pounds heavier they look

00:25:14.920 like shit their face is all bloated they look way older i look younger than i did six seven years ago 0.91

00:25:20.640 it's very obvious for me right now what alcohol does to people you know what i mean and you know

00:25:28.560 when we look at this gets into you know more of a discussion but when we look at the things that

00:25:35.360 are propagated to us in terms of what's a normal life versus the things that are kept from us and

00:25:41.340 told that are illegal like for example alcohol is propagated heavily as a normal part of life right

00:25:47.360 we all grew up with these commercials everybody's partying everybody's drinking everybody's you know

00:25:52.640 up in the mountains with their beers like everything is alcohol right but weed's illegal and not anymore

00:25:59.300 but it was forever right mushrooms mushrooms illegal these are natural things that grow out of the ground

00:26:05.460 right and i've used weed consistently and i've used mushrooms before too for to help treat depression

00:26:12.020 and anxiety i'm gonna tell you right now i personally believe that there is a 100 reason why they propagate

00:26:19.200 alcohol to people and they make this shit illegal and it's not because this is dangerous and alcohol

00:26:25.860 safe it's actually because alcohol is heavily debilitating to one's life and progress and the rest of those

00:26:32.360 things can actually help you and so it's the opposite of what most people think most people think that

00:26:37.380 alcohol is legal and pushed because it's safe but when we look at what it does to us long term in

00:26:43.220 terms of our health in terms of our motivation in terms of what we're willing to accept and what we

00:26:48.600 live for it really changes the quality of our life in a poor uh and negative way so my recommendation to

00:26:56.120 remove yourself from these cravings is to realize one uh i don't know a lot of people who are very

00:27:03.160 successful that use alcohol heavily i just don't like all the guys like at my level and up they're

00:27:08.940 not like that and that's why whenever you look at those guys they're usually all in shape there's very

00:27:14.200 few big fat guys that are above that unless they inherited their money because dude this people take 0.99

00:27:20.320 this serious and so if you want to win big this is not this is not something that you can afford to

00:27:24.700 mess around with in my opinion on a regular basis um and secondly start working your way to get better

00:27:31.200 you know through the live hard program and eventually it'll reduce those cravings for

00:27:35.420 uh that that kind of life and bro by the way you you know when i first started going out without

00:27:41.340 alcohol i i was drinking diet cokes or coffee like because we used to go to brunch a lot and drink

00:27:46.120 alcohol in the morning and shit and now i just go get black coffee and dude it's still the same amount 0.85

00:27:51.460 of fun like i'm sitting around my friends we're fucking they're drinking beers that's cool i don't give a 0.92

00:27:55.540 shit it's not like you know you get to a place where you don't need it

00:27:58.900 and and you don't lose out on any fun like i don't i don't have less fun with uh with no alcohol

00:28:06.900 than i did with alcohol in fact like it's almost better because then when you wake up the next day

00:28:11.200 you don't have that guilt you don't have that anxiety i call it the moral hangover right you're

00:28:16.060 like fuck what i do what i say you don't have that yeah and you get to like have memories of the time 0.91

00:28:21.280 that you had in the conversations it's just different dude plus the physical hangover bro it doesn't take

00:28:25.700 until tuesday to get back together well dude when you get to be my age is different it's like a

00:28:30.160 four or five day thing dude and it and then the other thing is is if you deal with any sort of

00:28:34.800 depression or anxiety alcohol just makes it 10 times worse dude and people it makes it worse not

00:28:41.000 the day you drink or even the day after but the two or three days after that so a lot of people that

00:28:46.100 suffer with like depression or anxiety you know they go out drinking on sunday and then on wednesday

00:28:50.940 they feel like shit like really dark really bad times but they forgot that they drank on sunday and 0.58

00:28:57.080 it has like a delayed effect on that so yeah man there's a lot of reasons not to do it and i'm not

00:29:03.200 saying you can't go out and enjoy some drinks because i certainly do occasionally um but it's

00:29:09.620 occasionally yeah it's not a regular part of my life i want to i want to ask you this too because i think

00:29:13.640 this is an important part of this right like just even just understanding just the concept of momentum

00:29:20.480 right yeah once you get to that point of understanding how how hard it was to even just

00:29:25.220 get going that's right it's more important to keep it going how do you how do you manage that like what

00:29:29.220 like let's break down this concept of momentum real quick well dude it momentum comes down to

00:29:34.280 you know you doing things one day and then the day after that and then the day after that and then

00:29:40.400 the day after that and eventually it gets easier and easier and easier and easier and you catch like

00:29:45.140 a flow which we call momentum and a lot of people think that momentum is something that we just catch

00:29:51.160 but it's actually something that we create it's something that we create by forcing ourselves through

00:29:56.120 one day then another day then another day and in the beginning it's very hard you have to use force

00:30:01.460 like you're going to have cravings you're going to want to eat bad you're not going to want to train

00:30:05.080 you're going to want to drink and so you have to like grid it out through those beginning days

00:30:09.580 but then as you catch momentum it gets easier and easier and easier and it starts to push you forward

00:30:13.940 and the biggest misconception like i said is that we catch it magically as opposed to we create it

00:30:20.720 so if we know that we create the momentum and we know that we're in control of the momentum we should

00:30:26.220 also recognize that it's important for us to create the momentum and keep it going as long as possible

00:30:30.980 and if we interrupt you know every three or four days with this day of booze or this day of bad eating

00:30:38.180 you can't ever build the momentum necessary to make not having that in your life easy you see

00:30:44.140 what i'm saying so you have to go with a long time without this in your life and you know um most

00:30:53.060 people aren't willing to do that they they try to create momentum and then they try to throw in you

00:30:57.920 know a cheat day or a cheat weekend or this every it doesn't work like that dude you can't do it it's

00:31:03.360 like it reminds me of almost like pushing the car in neutral you know i'm saying it's hard as shit to get 0.72

00:31:08.180 moving it's moving that's right dude stop pushing object in motion tends to stay in motion and dude

00:31:12.900 like when you think about trying to create momentum and you know get away from alcohol but then you're

00:31:20.580 throwing it in there every week that dude that's like this it's no different than this hey i need

00:31:25.320 you to quit heroin i need you to quit but every saturday and sunday you got to do it how can you ever

00:31:32.520 quit yeah right take a little bit on saturday yeah yeah it's just it's it's even worse with food

00:31:38.140 like people want to create this momentum where they can create a healthy lifestyle with food

00:31:43.120 but they want to interrupt that momentum every sunday with a cheat day or every saturday and

00:31:48.280 sunday with the days off i'm gonna live a little well it's really hard to remove yourself from that

00:31:54.500 culture unless you go for an extended period of time without it and that extended period of time is

00:31:59.560 not a week and it's not two weeks it's like 10 or 12 weeks okay so um yeah man you know you're in

00:32:07.000 control of your momentum and if you're trying to create momentum to create a better life why would

00:32:10.680 you interrupt that and make it harder for yourself you shouldn't do that you know it's the same reason

00:32:14.720 why when people complete 75 hard and the next day they're eating a huge cake and a bunch of stuff and

00:32:20.240 drinking and all this shit to celebrate it's like bro why are you going back 0.69

00:32:25.440 to the behavior that created this place of dissatisfaction and frustration and anger about

00:32:32.260 your own existence why are you rewarding yourself with that behavior when you just work so hard to

00:32:37.160 get away from it that doesn't make sense so there's a lot to that but the reality is is the best thing

00:32:43.560 that you can do in your whole entire life if you're an entrepreneur or if you're someone who wants to

00:32:48.100 achieve high level things is to limit alcohol and that that um constant cycle of social drinking

00:32:58.020 i i i disrupting the momentum yeah i don't know many people that are successful to do that dude

00:33:02.880 yeah i just don't not when they're building okay they might get older they might sell their company

00:33:08.160 for 100 million dollars or some shit and maybe they drink now but i bet they're fat and i bet they

00:33:14.380 aren't as healthy maybe maybe someone inherited a billion dollars and they're 400 pounds and you

00:33:20.300 could say oh look at that guy well that's not you he didn't build that shit right you're not going to 0.80

00:33:25.200 build that shit with that dude you just can't do it for those of us peasants that's us building 0.90

00:33:30.260 something from scratch is really fucking hard and you need to do it and understand that the outcome 0.87

00:33:37.060 that you're trying to create is not guaranteed it's it's not it's not easy it's not you know rub free

00:33:43.980 it's not pain free like it's going to be hard and you're going to have to go all in because you're

00:33:48.740 competing against other people who are going all in so if you think you could compete against other

00:33:53.300 people who are going all in and not having this shit in their life with your with you you giving 0.91

00:33:58.020 three days and them giving seven your ego's out of control bro that's an arrogant thought like how

00:34:04.100 you think you're that good you think you could beat someone like me but you could work for four

00:34:09.100 days a week and i'm working seven days with no alcohol none of that shit in my life bro those 0.91

00:34:14.180 people are going to kill you you have no shot yeah i love it man i love it guys andy our third and

00:34:19.420 final question andy question number three hey andy i feel like i need a like a new york accent on this

00:34:25.420 one hey andy i'm 22 years old from new york uh my dad recently passed away about six months ago

00:34:31.980 a great role model for me my family our community he'd give the clothes off his back you honestly

00:34:39.080 remind me of him quite a bit um he he has no nonsense attitude he didn't take any shit but he 0.90

00:34:45.520 wouldn't hurt a butterfly not because he wasn't capable to hurt a butterfly but because it was a

00:34:49.780 butterfly my father always told me uh quote just be good he always say this even at his last uh he would

00:34:58.400 remind me to just be good my question is um i know this show is about kicking ass and winning and 0.55

00:35:04.080 becoming the best you can possibly be and so with that being said i want to know what your take is

00:35:08.540 on just being a good human uh with all the craziness in the world we need more good people

00:35:13.540 so what makes a good person good appreciate you well first of all you know all we can do is what we

00:35:21.460 think is right all right and what we think is right is not always right but if we do what we think is

00:35:28.840 right eventually we learn what is right and that makes us a better human and a good human and my

00:35:35.600 personal take on goodness is not what i think most people think goodness is i think when most people

00:35:42.660 think of goodness they think of the outward appearance of being a decent human like i'm going

00:35:47.860 to post some bible quotes i'm going to pretend i'm extra holy i'm going to pretend i care about

00:35:52.940 things but then in real life dude you can kind of see that the the puzzle doesn't truly connect right

00:35:58.340 so i think the ultimate thing that you have to understand is that when you do good you get good

00:36:05.040 when you treat people right you get treated right when you have good intentions for other people other

00:36:09.600 people have good intentions for you and even if they don't you end up winning anyway because good

00:36:13.960 always triumphs evil and so the intent of making the right decisions of what you know and feel in

00:36:21.140 your heart to be right even if it ends up being wrong is still you going down the path of becoming a

00:36:29.220 better person because you're going to learn right none of us make all the right decisions none of us

00:36:35.040 none of us even make the decisions that are the good decisions all the time in our life sometimes

00:36:40.140 we're like fuck i'll get away with this one and bro those always come back to bite you in the ass in 1.00

00:36:45.160 a really bad way and uh i learned this lesson from my mom dude you know um i talk an awful lot about my

00:36:52.100 dad because he taught us a lot of practical you know mindset and even business advice growing up

00:36:58.880 but this was a lesson i learned from my mom and you guys who listen to mfceo you've heard the story

00:37:03.740 before but uh when i was a little kid i can't remember how old i was i was little though um we

00:37:10.100 were walking down the aisle of deerberg's over there on tasson ferry and we always had like tang

00:37:18.280 and occasionally kool-aid and stuff like that but really it was like you know we were tang you know

00:37:24.420 what i'm saying flavorate yeah right exactly and we were walking down the aisle of uh the kool-aid aisle

00:37:30.760 you know and it's like all these colors and dude i'm seeing the kool-aid man bust through the wall

00:37:35.300 oh yeah you know what i'm saying like it's like kool-aid was a good brand when you were a kid bro

00:37:41.460 and we're in the kool-aid aisle and i see mountain berry punch bro and i i remember this very clearly

00:37:47.660 people are like how the fuck can you remember a flavor that they don't have any made in 20 years well 0.83

00:37:51.460 you'll know when i tell you so uh it's amazing what you remember when you get your ass beat for it 0.80

00:37:59.100 so so i uh i told my mom i remember i'm like mom let's get this mountain berry punch and she's like

00:38:07.280 no and i'm like oh come on let's get it and she's like put that back blah blah blah well i didn't put

00:38:12.320 it back i put it in my pocket and we went through the store we went home and i didn't think this you

00:38:17.420 know very far ahead because i didn't know how to make fucking kool-aid so uh so i wanted the kool-aid 0.93

00:38:23.260 and i pulled the packet out and i'm like mom will you make a kool-aid and she's like what's that and

00:38:29.600 i'm like it's mountain berry punch and dude she went i i remember that she went straight to the 1.00

00:38:35.280 fucking wooden spoon drawer oh fuck yeah and went to work those wooden spoons yes and cool and then 0.84

00:38:40.900 then after the work was done i had to give the uh kool-aid back to the deerbergs so she drove me

00:38:47.640 up to deerbergs and i had to walk in and be like hey i stole this and bro it was one of the most

00:38:53.640 important lessons i ever learned in my life which was to do the right thing and i think the lesson

00:38:57.240 there is even when you do something wrong and you figure out it's wrong make it right make it right

00:39:02.600 and i think that this is the i think this is the binding glue of american culture i think it's very

00:39:09.300 very important that all of us try to do what's right and try to live what's right and then when

00:39:14.000 we make wrong decisions we we take accountability and we stand up we say i i fucked up there i shouldn't 0.98

00:39:19.240 have done that uh and then don't do those things again and i think we could talk about success we

00:39:25.220 can talk about making money we could talk about the ultimate rebellion we could talk about all this

00:39:29.400 shit but everything that we talk about here comes back down to doing the right thing and treating

00:39:35.840 people right and being a good human and uh my dad used to say something similar to this um but it

00:39:42.820 was regarding the animals you know we're animal people my dad always said he's like if you be good

00:39:48.500 animals good things happen to you and dude i i believe that because i love animals it doesn't

00:39:53.920 matter if it's like a turtle or a deer or a duck like i'm not a hunter like and i'm not no shade on

00:39:59.600 anybody that does dude i get it like i get the whole thing um and i would definitely if i if that's

00:40:06.820 what i need to do i don't no problem with it but at the end of the day you know i think i think that's

00:40:12.340 true i think when we're good to animals and we're good to people i think good things happen to us and i

00:40:17.100 think god uh i think when we put that intent out there we get that back and i i've just seen too much

00:40:24.280 of it to deny its reality you know what i mean i think it's real i think when you treat people right

00:40:31.200 people treat you right i think when you do good things good things happen to you and if we're going

00:40:36.020 to talk about it in a practical sense i think that's what we're missing in the world what we're

00:40:39.280 missing is a bunch of people who are willing to do the right thing no matter what which is why we

00:40:42.960 see so many people being silent in the face of all this stuff going on in the world um because

00:40:47.900 they're afraid they know what's right but they don't do it you know what i mean and dude

00:40:51.940 ultimately when you know what's right and you don't follow through with doing what's right

00:40:55.640 what ends up happening is you end up having a lot of guilt a lot of frustration and a lot of pain

00:40:59.700 later because you realize that you were a coward in the time when it was time to do the right thing

00:41:04.640 and uh my brother always says this man he says there's never wrong time do the right thing

00:41:08.780 and uh i i think that's one of the most real statements that could possibly be made and i think

00:41:15.060 it affects everything i think it affects your personal life i think it affects your professional

00:41:19.140 life i think it affects how you feel about yourself and i think it affects the amount of

00:41:23.580 success that you're going to have in the world and the impact that you're going to have on the world

00:41:26.360 so uh when you ask how important is it i think it's the fundamental most important thing that you

00:41:31.820 could ever do is to try to do the right thing at every possible opportunity i love it man i love

00:41:36.480 it well guys andy that was three all right guys let's go have a good week pay the fee

00:41:41.700 yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove 1.00

00:41:47.800 counted millions in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know 1.00

00:41:54.460 headshot case close

00:41:56.140 you

00:41:56.760 you

00:41:58.820 you

00:41:59.900 you

00:42:01.000 you

00:42:01.540 you

00:42:02.460 you

00:42:03.040 you

00:42:03.920 you

00:42:05.800 you

00:42:07.700 you

00:42:11.160 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 24, 2024

731. Q&AF： Responding To Competitors, Skipping Happy Hour & Being A Good Human In A Crazy World

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 24, 2024

731. Q&#x26;AF： Responding To Competitors, Skipping Happy Hour &#x26; Being A Good Human In A Crazy World

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

731. Q&AF： Responding To Competitors, Skipping Happy Hour & Being A Good Human In A Crazy World