REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 735. Q&AF： Favoritism At Work, Heartless Vs Using Heart Less & Getting Jealous Of Successful Friends

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.200 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys

00:00:26.240 as always we are starting the week off with a little q and a f that's where you submit the

00:00:31.960 questions and we give you the answers if you want your questions answered on the show you can do so

00:00:37.580 a couple different ways the first way is guys you can email these questions into ask andy at

00:00:42.140 andy for seller.com or you go on youtube in the comment sections on the q and a f episodes drop

00:00:47.220 the question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well now through the week we're going

00:00:52.560 to have different formats of the show we like to say we have shows within the show tomorrow we're

00:01:00.040 going to have cti that stands for cruise the internet we're going to put topics up on the

00:01:04.720 screen we're going to speculate on what's true on what's not true and then we're going to talk about

00:01:08.580 how we the people have to solve some of these problems going on in the world other times

00:01:12.720 throughout the week we might have some real talk real talk is just 5 to 20 minutes and me giving

00:01:17.420 you some real talk and then we have occasionally 75 hard verses that's where someone who has

00:01:23.180 completed the 75 hard program comes on the show talks about how their life was in disorder and how

00:01:29.280 they got it in check using the 75 hard program if you're unfamiliar with the 75 hard program it is the

00:01:36.880 initial phase of the live hard program that you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed

00:01:43.780 only now live hard and 75 hard are the world's most popular mental transformation programs and

00:01:50.320 they're available for free now there is a book the book is not free and you can get that andy

00:01:55.660 for seller.com it's called the book on mental toughness and it explains the entire live hard

00:02:00.300 program inside and out plus 10 chapters on mental toughness why it's important and how to implement it in

00:02:05.860 your life along with real life examples of people that you know who have utilized mental toughness to

00:02:11.440 become the people that you recognize today now one thing about this show is we don't run ads you're

00:02:16.620 going to notice that there's no ads we are the only show that is this big in the world uh that does not

00:02:25.600 run ads on the show so the reason we don't do that is because i don't want to listen to somebody tell me

00:02:31.120 what i can and can't say i try to keep it real with you guys and i don't want anybody influencing that

00:02:35.440 so in exchange for us not taking the ads i just ask very simply that you help us share the show if

00:02:42.700 the show makes you laugh it makes you think if it gives you a new perspective if it's an important

00:02:46.720 message please share the show all right we're dealing with censorship we deal with traffic

00:02:52.860 throttling shadow bans all the stuff because we talk about all this stuff we're not supposed to talk

00:02:58.020 about so help us get the message out and uh don't be a hoe show the show all right what's up dude

00:03:04.120 getting a little red over there red yeah what you talking about i'm just looking at the arms like

00:03:09.940 you got a little burned or something i don't get burned i didn't think you did it's not red that

00:03:14.380 looks a little red doesn't it boys this is do i look red for real just a little bit no that's called

00:03:18.560 tan is that tan yeah that's called tan shut the fuck up yeah it might be red it looks it just looks

00:03:28.540 like it looks like there's a red undertone that's just because i just got done having an annoying

00:03:33.300 conversation yeah you know when the hulk starts to turn green i love it when i start getting red

00:03:41.740 bro it's time to it's time to move along i get it yeah i get it i get it no everything is good man

00:03:46.540 what's going on with you oh not much just doing the thing man doing uh everything i can to be better

00:03:55.120 every day yeah you know you know i i do want to actually this is outside of the i got three good

00:04:00.460 ones for you guys of course but i wanted to ask you this i was thinking about this the other day

00:04:03.620 man because uh you know you were talking you know how you went 10 years basically making zero money

00:04:09.260 right yeah like you talk about that what was that first check like for you what do you mean first

00:04:13.180 check like when you first were finally able to kind of like pay yourself like what what was

00:04:17.240 what was that like after you know i'm saying because fuck you weren't making what like 700 bucks a

00:04:22.100 month yeah right um what did that first check feel like for you well i mean i had a lot of debt that i

00:04:28.880 had to pay so like the first few checks i never you never really it wasn't like i got money yeah

00:04:33.440 i remember um i bought a new dirt bike oh that's fucking yeah that was cool that's sweet yeah and it

00:04:41.380 was like 10 grand at the time which was like something i've never bought i had never bought something

00:04:48.260 for ten thousand dollars without having to like finance it and that was pretty cool you know um

00:04:54.040 and then you know i paid off my debts and uh started saving money and when i got money saved up i started

00:05:02.540 spending money yeah and uh you know it was it was cool man you know it's cool the first time you go from

00:05:09.880 you know making just a little bit of money to some reasonable money it's it's a good feeling you know

00:05:15.420 that it takes a lot of weight off it takes a lot of pressure off and i think a lot of people can

00:05:19.940 relate to that you know i think the difference here though is like the fact that you had to you

00:05:24.380 were already you had already built up that discipline like kind of just by default from

00:05:29.480 not making money you know i'm saying so like it didn't you didn't like lose your mind when you

00:05:33.300 started making money i think that's no yeah like dude that's the thing is like even still today like

00:05:37.800 i i only spend like 10 of what i make you know what i'm saying so like but you know and people see

00:05:44.960 my lifestyle there's like no there's no fucking way well dude i've been doing this for 25 fucking

00:05:49.400 years a big pie yeah so you know it's not you know a lot of guys when they're younger and i was one of

00:05:55.220 these guys too um you know they're spending their cash flow to live a life right and uh you know once

00:06:03.180 you start to figure out that you know it's better to have some money in the bank um you get right back

00:06:10.620 to that habit of of being frugal and disciplined with your money and here's the thing about

00:06:15.040 discipline with money is if you're undisciplined when you don't have money you don't automatically

00:06:19.180 become disciplined when you do have it so it's important when you have when you're not making a

00:06:23.640 lot of money to really get into good habits about what you spend and what you save and living within

00:06:29.080 your means or below your means um so that you know your your wealth so to speak can accumulate and

00:06:35.880 you have the opportunities to uh do things that you know actually make you wealthier long term

00:06:41.620 yeah so you know it's it's discipline and a lot of people think they're going to cultivate that

00:06:47.840 discipline around money once they start making it and get it yeah and dude that's not the case you and

00:06:53.880 i've had this talk before you know you have as a young person you have to get your discipline in line

00:07:01.240 with the money uh when you don't have any and then that way whenever you start to get it you you you

00:07:06.300 know you're responsible with it i mean bro look this is just real shit like if i wanted to i could be on

00:07:13.760 a fucking yacht floating around in the mediterranean and not have to fucking even think about shit you

00:07:20.860 know what i'm saying but like there's more work to do yeah and i love what i do i love when i come in

00:07:26.640 here and and get to work with the team and with you guys and with the guys around first form and s2

00:07:31.640 and the una vita guys and like just all the things i'm involved in it's it's you know i can't imagine

00:07:38.240 not doing that you know what i mean there's no amount of money that i would get that would make

00:07:43.560 me not want to do that for sure yeah you know what i'm saying like it's fun dude like we get to come

00:07:48.040 in here we get to create shit we get to build shit we get to help people get better like i mean real

00:07:54.800 talk dude like i don't think anybody has a cooler existence than i do no offense to you guys but

00:07:59.540 like everything we do here for the most part is you know i mean we're building an iconic brand

00:08:05.320 couple of them you know it's not many people get that opportunity and i'm i'm very very very thankful

00:08:10.760 for that and people always ask they're like why don't you travel well because i like coming here man

00:08:15.300 yeah you know what i mean i like being around the team i like you do travel you know i'm saying but

00:08:19.540 that's not like the identity that's not you're not gone every fucking weekend i think that most

00:08:23.600 people have a life that they want to escape from i didn't build my life that way i built my life

00:08:30.000 as a life that i want to live in and i enjoy it and i think it's very hard for people to hate their

00:08:35.460 lives to really understand that you know what i'm saying damn that's real man that's real uh well

00:08:41.460 guys andy i got some good ones for you let's uh let's dive into these questions um guys andy

00:08:47.680 question number one uh good morning andy good morning it was more i guess it was morning when he

00:08:52.060 wrote it yeah it's not morning right now um i mean it depends on when they're listening that's true

00:08:58.080 good morning guys good morning guys uh andy i've been listening to the podcast for about a year

00:09:05.060 uh and thank you for everything you do teach and preach i'm only 25 but you've given me more

00:09:10.780 knowledge than many of my mentors at this point um i have a question i haven't been able to find in the

00:09:16.740 qnaf feeds how do you deal with a co-worker who's a teacher's pet brown noser my shop is mostly full

00:09:25.040 of competitive people who strive to do better and always wanting to reach that next step in life or

00:09:29.860 their career my work is well funded and often has a handful of training opportunities or to work with

00:09:35.420 different teams the issue we're running into is one individual has been getting every single

00:09:41.180 training and work opportunity for quite some time i'm not the only one noticing it as others have

00:09:46.440 mentioned it uh when he is not in the room initially we were wondering if he is simply performing at a

00:09:51.500 higher standard than us only to come to the conclusion that he actually does less work than most of us yet

00:09:57.240 is still afforded all of these opportunities we realize this when he does actually come and work on a

00:10:03.100 project and has no idea what he's talking about or where to get started um he's constantly in the boss's

00:10:07.780 office and will hang out with them after hours i loved my job when i first got here but it's

00:10:12.760 discouraging not being allowed to enhance my skill set when i could very well use these trainings in

00:10:18.060 my day-to-day to do a better job for my shop any help would be greatly appreciated how do you deal

00:10:22.040 with with this teacher well first of all um i'm just going to tell you the truth you know 99 of the

00:10:29.200 time people say this shit they're in the wrong all right okay do you know why most people become the

00:10:34.820 favorites because they're great at what the fuck they do okay it's very rare that you just pick

00:10:40.580 some random favorite in your office and give them all the opportunities because you like them no i like

00:10:48.640 motherfuckers that get their shit done do it with a positive attitude set the standard for everybody

00:10:53.700 else around them and give it everything they have and produce actual results and then what happens is

00:11:00.340 i get close to those people because they make my life easier they take the headaches away they handle

00:11:06.200 shit that's usually the case in my entire 25 years in business i have never had what he just described

00:11:15.840 and so the way i'm reading this is you guys who are asking the question are full of shit all right

00:11:22.700 based upon my experience the reality is is you probably look at this person and see them and

00:11:29.800 want them to be unskilled and want them to be someone who's not contributing but if you have a

00:11:36.040 leader of your business and they are trying to win the people that they are going to be close to are the

00:11:41.400 people who like to win the most as well and that doesn't mean that they were friends before that means

00:11:46.880 they became bonded and friendly because they both are aligned in the mission do you know who i'm friends

00:11:54.020 with in our company i'll give you a clue the best ones okay you know why because they're the best and then

00:12:01.820 we become personal friends and then we go and have a drink or a dinner or a smoke you see what i'm saying

00:12:09.620 so that's usually how it works out now i'm going to try to address the question even though i think it's bullshit

00:12:16.020 um if that's really the case then you should have a transparent conversation with the boss

00:12:24.920 uh about your frustrations and you should go in there with some documentation

00:12:30.260 all right some evidence evidence because a lot of employees they like to come in and they like to say

00:12:37.240 well it seems like you're favoring so and so and you say okay well why why would you think that

00:12:42.120 well they're in your office all the time well you could come in my office if you want

00:12:46.980 well they're always here well you don't ask me to do those things well you guys go to dinner well

00:12:53.540 you're not you you you aren't available for dinner right you know and what happens is because employees

00:13:00.620 like to get in these little culture bubbles and yap together and then they make up these stories that

00:13:06.520 aren't even fucking true and then they hate the boss and they hate the guy and they say it's all

00:13:11.660 about favoritism and then and then they carry that attitude from this place to the next place to the

00:13:19.360 next place creating cancer everywhere they go and the people who run the businesses are smart and they

00:13:25.800 say that guy's cancer we got to work that guy out that's what happens so you know if you really think

00:13:32.060 this is happening document the evidence document all the shit that apparently he doesn't do and go

00:13:39.080 to the fucking superior and say hey man the team and i are kind of feeling like you're fucking us

00:13:45.260 all right this little dude here he's not doing this and this and this i got evidence of it

00:13:49.640 he's got you snowball bro we all like him but like we're we're high class hard-working

00:13:55.780 motherfuckers too not just that guy and this is bothering us and it's creating this in the team

00:14:01.600 have a real conversation but you know what i bet you won't because that takes fucking courage and

00:14:06.600 that takes balls and most people would rather yippy yap amongst themselves than to actually address

00:14:12.180 the problem like a grown adult i feel like a lot of times too man it's like you know people there's a

00:14:19.420 there's there's for some reason there's a delayed reaction in in taking advantage of the opportunities

00:14:27.020 that come your way right and like just because you missed that opportunity that doesn't mean you can

00:14:31.940 just shit talk everybody else that did take it you didn't take it dj you had the same training like

00:14:36.580 you know i'm saying that email for those trainings came out to youtube dj you know this becomes the

00:14:41.160 reason that it's like this and you'll be able to recognize this when i say it and so will you guys

00:14:45.820 the reason it's like that is because those people misunderstand the dynamic

00:14:52.240 of opportunity taking why do you think it says take the opportunity it doesn't say receive the

00:15:01.200 opportunity it doesn't say have the opportunity granted to you it doesn't say get lucky with the

00:15:07.860 opportunity it says take the opportunity you know what that means that means you have to seize it

00:15:14.760 that means you have to take it no one's going to give it to you no one's going to come and say here i

00:15:20.160 got this path you can make a million bucks a year or 10 million bucks a year if you do no one that's

00:15:26.140 not how it works bro true high achievers they they look for the lane and then they take the opportunity

00:15:34.720 by taking initiative and a lot of people don't like to do that because they do this well what if i do all

00:15:40.920 this shit and they don't recognize me i'm not going to put in all this work and you know fucking have

00:15:45.760 them not pay me for my blah blah blah let me tell you something bro that's loser talk because

00:15:50.100 here's the reality if you took the opportunity you learn the skills you learn how to solve the

00:15:55.640 problems and you were actually valuable and your fucking place of business doesn't recognize it you

00:16:00.840 just learned a whole new set of skills that you could take elsewhere and make more money you see

00:16:06.260 what i'm saying so it's fucking take the opportunity and these people have a misunderstanding

00:16:11.340 of that they believe that if i show up every day because they do they all got parents that think

00:16:16.780 like this that's what it always comes down to if i show up every day and i put in my time and i'm

00:16:22.760 there five minutes after five o'clock and i'm there three minutes before eight i show up early and i stay

00:16:30.600 late and i blah blah blah and they're not and they're fucking me over so there's no point to it so i just

00:16:37.920 won't even try because they're just gonna they're just gonna do they're gonna take advantage of me they're

00:16:43.400 gonna build their company on my on my back you know i read this thing on the internet about about

00:16:48.960 quiet quitting you know i'm just not gonna do my job and you know we're gonna see how long i get paid

00:16:54.880 and when they yell at me i'll do a little extra but that's all i'm doing and that's what the fuck they

00:16:59.140 do that's what they do okay there's a you gotta understand i have fucking managed thousands of

00:17:05.460 people there are two fucking kinds of people there are the kind of people who say i'm gonna fucking

00:17:10.440 become an asset i'm gonna take advantage of the opportunity i'm gonna take the opportunity i'm

00:17:14.720 gonna be the best i'm gonna put points on the board i'm gonna score fucking touchdowns and i'm

00:17:19.200 gonna get fucking paid and then there's the kind of people who say if i show up long enough and i'm

00:17:24.840 here long enough eventually i'll be owed the opportunity those people lose and it's that it's

00:17:29.980 that simple yeah i love it man i love it uh guys any question number two what's up andy uh and dj i got

00:17:38.060 a quick question on when to not be heartless but just use my heart less i think of myself as a

00:17:44.980 driven person i love my work and often get obsessed with it to the best i can be and often get made fun

00:17:51.760 of for it by my co-workers however um often i get called upon for this or that issue by some of them

00:18:00.460 because i pay attention to details and pick up on things do i stick to my morals and just be the

00:18:05.200 better person and let them figure it out i often battle with myself on this as i have grown with

00:18:10.460 uh a people pleaser mentality right so like what's your take on

00:18:15.320 using your heart or like keeping emotions i guess out of certain things when it when it comes to this

00:18:21.960 this path you're on is it a heartless path have you found yourself

00:18:25.980 look if you really care about someone are you going to take it easy on them or are you going to

00:18:35.900 tell them hey dude you suck right here i need you to get better are you going to are you going to let

00:18:40.980 them have a pass because you like them or are you going to look at them and say hey bro i want the

00:18:46.960 best for you this needs to be fixed this needs to be fixed this needs to be fixed okay a lot of people

00:18:52.040 will take this i got to use my heart less because they don't understand the dynamic of what actually

00:18:58.860 caring about someone looks like actually caring about someone is not letting someone slide it's

00:19:03.880 not letting someone get away with less than what they could do it's not letting someone you know

00:19:08.400 flounder and rot and sit around and just let life pass them by if you really care about someone you're

00:19:15.420 going to say hey motherfucker you got a lot of potential dude but here's what you're doing wrong and

00:19:19.680 you need to fix this and this and this or you're going to be this and that's what caring about

00:19:24.220 someone actually looks like okay so when you say use your heart less how i hear that is you're just

00:19:31.800 going to let people flounder versus actually giving a fuck about them and calling them out on their shit

00:19:37.660 and you're asking the question from a perspective of well i got to use my heart less so i can have more

00:19:44.120 direct conversations bro you you got it fucking confused okay using your heart less will produce

00:19:52.480 a situation for your friends and your employees where they are worse off okay using your heart more

00:19:59.300 and realizing what it looks like to use that actually makes you an amazing leader so i don't buy into this

00:20:05.700 shit about i got to keep it real with the guys i got to be use my heart less that's not what

00:20:10.980 leadership is about leadership is hey dude i fucking love you but like look you got to fix this

00:20:17.100 and you got to fix that and you got to fix this or you know i'm gonna have to make a change you got

00:20:21.620 to understand i'm here to do this and as much as i care about you if you continue to go down this path

00:20:27.620 there's not going to be a spot for you in the boat all right and i love you dude i love having you here

00:20:32.160 i love who you are as a person but you got to improve this and this and this and then that person

00:20:37.860 goes and improves this and this and this their life gets better they make more money and then

00:20:41.420 they come to you and they say thank you okay it's not about making them like you now it's about making

00:20:46.880 them love you 10 years from now all right and that takes some uncomfortable conversations but i can

00:20:52.400 tell you for sure dude if you're in once you get used to communicating this way and you understand

00:20:58.120 that caring about people equals telling them the truth and giving them good critiques where they can

00:21:03.280 help themselves be better it's not that hard to do okay it becomes easy to do because you understand

00:21:10.700 the intent behind it but when the intent behind it is well i gotta have a hard conversation with joe

00:21:16.900 and i know he's gonna be upset and i don't want to piss him off and he's my friend so i'm just gonna

00:21:22.180 not say anything to him bro you ain't that guy's friend you're a fucking you're you're actually the

00:21:27.440 opposite of that person's friend so let's get straight on what using your heart more or less

00:21:32.100 actually means i believe all leadership should use their heart more but also make decisions based

00:21:38.540 upon facts not feelings and you can do both all right both can exist just because you use your

00:21:45.040 heart more doesn't mean you know you're going to uh let things slide when the results are very

00:21:53.600 obviously not ideal or less than what they should be using your heart more in that situation say hey come

00:21:59.780 here what the fuck is this why is this this way here's what you need to do to get this in the

00:22:06.160 right spot you see what i'm saying oh come on man i thought we were boys no we are boys that's why i'm

00:22:10.840 trying to fix your shit so you don't fucking end up broke being a piece of shit over there complaining

00:22:15.280 about how life fucked you over right so we are fucking boys if we weren't boys i wouldn't say

00:22:19.880 shit to you i let you fucking flounder and you know you know what that's what i do that's how i lead

00:22:25.560 okay and i i think it works pretty well yeah all right now let me ask you this on that though

00:22:30.600 is there at what point do you have do you have to stop like at what point i mean there's a saying

00:22:37.080 like you can't i got like a three i got like a two or three strike dude like if i gotta mention

00:22:40.940 something to someone three times i usually fire them you know i'm saying if it's not a if it's a

00:22:46.460 performance thing yeah if it's a if it's a moral violation or a culture violation i just fire them

00:22:52.440 right away like no matter how much you you want them to win or do good or succeed if somebody does

00:22:57.560 something unethical they get fired yeah if someone does something because they don't know or their

00:23:01.840 work ethic is off or they're dealing with something personal you get you might get a little chance

00:23:06.100 right but you ain't gonna get forever chances right you know what i mean right that's where people

00:23:10.080 fuck up yeah because dude when you do lead like that what happens is and everybody starts to know

00:23:14.420 that you lead like that they start to take advantage of you they'll tell you this every

00:23:18.040 time they're not doing something they tell you this sad story about you know how life's not going

00:23:23.040 their way right now or they're struggling right now and at the end of the day i i feel i feel that

00:23:27.660 because i've been through those times too but at the end of the day you got to show up and you got

00:23:31.620 to put points on the border you don't get to be on the fucking team you think that in the nfl they

00:23:36.060 they let somebody come to and stay on the team that comes in every other week it says bro i'm having

00:23:41.200 mental problems i'm super depressed the mental health i don't dude and that's the new thing

00:23:46.160 that's the thing that the that's where they try to leverage it because if you fucking say no you're

00:23:50.920 not then then you're like an insensitive fucking piece of shit you hate people with ptsd yes

00:23:56.720 well like dude it's not a reasonable excuse we are here to do a thing we are doing that thing

00:24:04.780 we are doing it well and if you cannot do the thing well you cannot be on the team and yes you

00:24:10.860 will have certain situations that you know like maybe you're going through some shit the super

00:24:17.500 killers the people who fucking kill they don't people don't even know what they're going through

00:24:21.780 no idea they have no idea you know what i'm saying real champions don't bitch about their circumstances

00:24:27.620 they get the job done either way and that's what they do every single one person i know

00:24:34.440 that operates on a high level they handle their shit and they do the thing and you say well you

00:24:40.320 know maybe they're not happy maybe they're not but they don't fuck up their lives because they're

00:24:45.300 fucking feeling a certain way you know what i mean well i mean i feel like even even just that bro

00:24:50.820 like that that's a like a misconception that like i have to be happy to produce like i have to be

00:24:56.980 in this perfect state of body mind spirit soul to produce and like or listen have you found that to be

00:25:02.900 the truth no i feel like people are liars people lie you know what i'm saying like they they lie about

00:25:11.700 how bad things are for themselves they make up these crazy stories they make it way worse and then they

00:25:18.340 end up imploding because they've told themselves this story so much that they can't even function

00:25:23.720 you know what i'm saying like bro you got to grow the fuck up like you got to grow the fuck up dude

00:25:28.620 like this shit nobody cares nobody really does care dude nobody cares you know have you have you do

00:25:35.400 you think you've produced more in times of darkness than in times of like when everything was perfect

00:25:39.940 i produce more when i'm pissed off like when i have a chip on my shoulder that's when i like

00:25:45.180 the best thing that can happen to me is someone disrespect me or talk shit or one of my competitors

00:25:52.760 slight me or do something like dude that's that's where you're giving me free fucking game and i and

00:25:58.780 like i can take a little bit of that negativity and turn it into a lot of productive action and uh i

00:26:04.060 operate from the dark side i always have i put the best fucking i put my best shit out when i'm the

00:26:09.400 most pissed off and um you know not everybody operates that way but i i i don't know the most

00:26:15.540 effective people i know do even if they don't admit it you know the most i've i've had the chance to

00:26:20.780 interview literally some of the richest people in the world some of the most crazy hall of fame athletes

00:26:27.640 i mean i could go down the list bro like it's it's a true vip of culture people that i've been

00:26:33.620 fortunate enough to to meet and get to be friends with and know and have real conversations with at

00:26:39.860 the highest level of whatever they do and i'm just going to tell you dude this pie in the sky

00:26:45.540 fucking feel good shit it doesn't exist with those people those people fucking hate their competitors

00:26:50.880 they fucking want to win more than anything nice people they're nice no they will sit down

00:26:56.860 they will sit down with their competitors and drink beer and shit right they know the difference

00:27:01.800 between competition and friendship in fact having high competition actually cultivates better

00:27:07.660 friendships but most people are so fucking weak they will never figure that out okay so but i'm

00:27:13.620 telling you dude i've interviewed these people i know these people i'm friends with these people

00:27:17.260 these are people i fucking talk to when i'm on the phone these motherfuckers will kill you okay now

00:27:22.840 they might go on tv and smile and make jokes and blah blah blah but you put them in a competitive

00:27:28.480 environment bro they are out for fucking blood and that's the reality dude and so like yeah i think

00:27:34.980 hard times actually produce better action when you know how to harness it um but a lot of people don't

00:27:42.040 a lot of people think you know they listen to the internet and they listen to a lot of these you know

00:27:47.620 quote-unquote mental health professionals who fucking fill their minds with a bunch of idealistic shit

00:27:53.720 about the way things aren't and should be and never will be and because they never will be

00:27:58.200 this person spends their life in a cycle of perpetual fucking aggravation and frustration

00:28:04.480 idealism is terrible for you bro you have to be a realist you're not going to feel good all the time

00:28:09.900 things aren't going to go your way all the time it's going to be way harder than you think it's going

00:28:13.740 to take way longer than you think you're going to be fucked over by everybody that you know

00:28:17.100 you're going to fucking lose girlfriends you're going to lose boyfriends you're going to get sick

00:28:21.140 you're going to have things happen and guess what you still have to learn to operate when those

00:28:26.160 things happen when life happens and uh that's the game you know i mean it's it's i think it's required

00:28:33.220 personally i love it dude i don't think being i i think that society especially young people

00:28:40.640 put far too much emphasis on being happy right now than they do on focusing on a career

00:28:51.000 and a life that they want to build that's going to make them happy now i'm not saying you have to

00:28:56.060 work your life away but i'm saying you have to understand that when you're young that's when you

00:29:01.360 should be building right you shouldn't be floating through life enjoying the fucking weather like

00:29:07.720 people who do that they're going to have to build later and it's going to be harder for them to

00:29:12.080 build or they're not going to end up with anything so they won't have the life they want they won't

00:29:16.180 have the the the shit they want in life and they're going to say well what happened well you ran out of

00:29:20.460 time because you used all your time doing these other things and that's okay but don't be mad that

00:29:25.780 you didn't get something that other people have when other people fucking invested their time

00:29:30.140 differently when you were out sniffing the fucking roses you see what i'm saying it's real shit like

00:29:35.800 dude i get a lot of i get i get people say comments to me all the time you know like i had this dude

00:29:40.140 message me and he's like andy i love your i love your shit but dude i'm gonna tell you what

00:29:44.820 the last thing i ever want to see when i come home from work is your fucking car collection it

00:29:49.260 pisses me off well fuck bro sorry it makes you mad what'd you do for the last 25 years because i'll

00:29:55.420 tell you what i did i did the same shit you see me doing now for 25 years and i bet if i were to go

00:30:01.500 back and play your fucking tape it looks a lot different than my tape okay and when we go back

00:30:07.100 and we say okay well what have you done for the last 25 years between eat breathe shit and complain

00:30:14.360 i bet you people have a hard time saying anything 25 years what have you done for 25 years besides

00:30:21.020 breathe the air be alive eat and shit what tell me one fucking thing and if you could tell me one

00:30:27.340 thing then fine but you can't i've been doing this for 25 years i don't give a fuck what you think of

00:30:34.540 my lifestyle i fucking love it oh if i didn't earn it after 25 years you hold on who gets it so when do

00:30:44.120 you magically get this when do you magically get to live your life yeah and you still get these

00:30:49.180 motherfuckers talking shit you know and they can't come to terms with the fact that for for all those

00:30:56.560 times when i was doing all that shit they were out doing other shit and then they're mad today that

00:31:02.540 they don't have the result that i have you can't do that that's not reality bro and if you're gonna

00:31:07.760 think that way you're fucking loser that's real shit man that's real guys andy our third and final

00:31:14.040 question andy question number three hey andy i'm 26 and i'm seeing some of my friends doing really

00:31:21.260 well in their careers and starting families getting married and i've been focused maintained in my lane

00:31:27.220 and i'm continuing to improve myself every day here's the issue though i feel like i'm starting to get

00:31:33.240 some jealousy that is sneaking in this is actually great at least right off of this question we just

00:31:37.880 had man i'm i'm feeling some jealousy that is starting to sneak in and i can't tell if i'm more

00:31:43.380 mad at myself for not having any results yet uh or if i'm just genuinely pissed at them for winning

00:31:49.540 i just want some clarity on this bro thank you this is perfect let's go back and play your tape

00:31:54.280 what'd you do on your tape what'd they do on their tape it's no different than nfl game tape bro

00:31:59.840 what'd you do what'd they do did you do the same things they did and you end up with a different

00:32:04.400 result i highly doubt it i highly doubt it i don't think that happened i don't think you showed up and

00:32:11.500 did the same things they did and you just got screwed out of the result that's not what happened

00:32:16.160 what happened was they did different things you did different things the things they did produce the

00:32:22.040 result the things you did did not produce the result and now you're mad about it so you have to

00:32:27.140 understand it's practical okay one you can learn what are they doing and how do i get better and

00:32:34.500 how do i do it better two there is a literal law like gravity all right and you may argue with me

00:32:41.900 that it's this is that's hocus pocus well i don't know people thought gravity was hocus pocus for

00:32:47.000 fucking a thousand fucking nine thousand years before it was discovered okay um so here's the

00:32:53.240 deal it is what the fuck it is if you hate on people's success you're not going to have any

00:32:58.500 that doesn't just have to be verbal either it's inside of you all right so you have to learn how

00:33:04.280 to be happy for people's success how i deal with that is i look at other people and i think very

00:33:09.640 simply what one man can do another can do so when i see someone winning bigger than me i look at them

00:33:15.540 and i say okay what are they doing different i think it's awesome that they're winning how how

00:33:19.360 can i win like that how can i win bigger than that and that's how i think about i don't think

00:33:23.080 about it like no because i look at it and i say that is literal fucking undeniable proof

00:33:32.280 that i can win too so why would i be upset about that you see what i'm saying yeah yeah let me

00:33:38.580 actually because i mean like i was reading this and like i mean he's young is it also possible

00:33:43.000 bro that like the plants just haven't like butted up through the fucking soil yet man well i mean look

00:33:48.660 dude there's only real two two real things that that can be going on if if you are maintaining

00:33:54.740 and improving yourself and if you're doing the work and you're actually working hard and you're

00:34:00.600 doing things the right way and you're executing there's only two reasons that shit hasn't materialized

00:34:05.660 one you could be working the wrong plan which is why you need to look at everybody else's success

00:34:10.920 objectively and not emotionally all right you got to look around and say okay what's that guy doing

00:34:15.660 what's this guy doing over here that seems to work why doesn't that work and you need to become a

00:34:21.240 student of what works and what doesn't work okay in a practical way so if you're clouded by emotion

00:34:27.060 as to you know when i look at someone who's winning bigger than me and i'm like fuck fucking hate that

00:34:32.440 guy i can't see the technique clearly which keeps me from understanding what the real plan should be

00:34:39.900 right and then the second the second part of that is you you maybe haven't been working the plan long

00:34:44.940 enough and this is a big problem most people have a very disconnected viewpoint of what it takes versus

00:34:53.340 what it actually takes and i believe that this is because of all the deceptive marketing on the

00:34:59.400 internet get rich now it's easy buy my course and i'll make you a millionaire in fucking six weeks

00:35:06.280 do this do that work from anywhere have no worries be your own boss bro all of this shit is nonsense

00:35:14.240 it's nonsense bullshit and it sets an expectation for people that is unrealistic about the amount of

00:35:22.700 time about how hard it's going to be about what it's going to actually take and for that reason these

00:35:28.520 people who go down the path they think they're doing something wrong too early all right and that's a

00:35:34.780 very difficult thing to know if you don't know right how do i know i'm working the right plan

00:35:40.160 all right well i gotta look around here without getting emotional how do i know if i'm doing it

00:35:45.040 long enough well how long did it take him how long did it take him how long did it take the guys you

00:35:50.680 really fucking admire not these internet boners that tell you all this shit right okay how long are the

00:35:58.540 real guys telling you it takes and we get ignored people like me get ignored for the favor of quick and

00:36:04.920 easy and fast but you're gonna know and you're gonna find out that i'm right and you're gonna waste

00:36:10.100 fucking years chasing something that doesn't exist there is no easy way there is no fast way those

00:36:16.940 things are the anomaly and guess what motherfucker you ain't the anomaly okay so while it might have

00:36:22.160 worked for this guy and he invested in crypto in 2010 and now he's a billionaire that's him not you

00:36:28.500 okay while it may have happened in uh you know two years for this guy because he developed some

00:36:35.400 proprietary technology or proprietary product that just took off or he had uh you know an immense

00:36:41.780 amount of celebrity and was able to market the product guess what that is not the norm that's the

00:36:47.880 anomaly and that is not who the fuck you are you're a regular motherfucker that's gonna have to build it

00:36:52.860 from scratch it's gonna have to grind it the fuck out and that's gonna take a long time that's not

00:36:57.080 gonna happen in six months bro right so so look at the plan analyze the plan unemotionally what's that

00:37:05.520 person doing that's working what's that person doing that's not working how can i improve upon that

00:37:10.960 am i doing my plan wrong how's it compared to the plans that are working and then make a decision about

00:37:16.940 what plan you're going to work and then realize that you know uh when you get tired it's going to

00:37:22.340 take a million miles more from that point on all right so the greatest things in the world were

00:37:28.100 built by tired people all right i know you're tired i know it's hard i know you're exhausted

00:37:33.200 the fucking wonders of the world guess who they were built by exhausted people the buildings that

00:37:39.020 you admire guess who they were designed by and built by people that were tired everything great in

00:37:44.000 the world was built by tired motherfuckers so it doesn't matter if you're tired you just have to keep

00:37:47.700 going i love that man i want i feel like there's something else here too man like even just

00:37:52.460 analyzing this and you know i know you touch on this quite a bit man but it's like something to

00:37:57.020 just ask yourself dude like is what you're actually seeing real is you know i'm saying because it's easy

00:38:03.800 to portray things are all good and you know perfect you know family house kids cool but like is it real

00:38:09.160 like is that is there really any substance there you know when you're when you're looking out like you

00:38:14.580 got to verify that stuff is is that stuff actually even real what you're seeing what you think you're

00:38:18.560 seeing well this is what i ask people to do i ask people to to examine you know there's so many

00:38:24.360 fucking wealth life business coaches out here that don't haven't done anything but sell a program about

00:38:31.380 that okay so why do they have nice shit because they're selling people like you these courses that

00:38:37.420 tell them how to do shit that that person has never done so you have to do your due diligence you have

00:38:43.020 to ask yourself who is this person really do they actually have a business are they actually where

00:38:49.640 i want to be do they have customers can i use their product what do their employees say how many

00:38:55.240 employees do they have where's their headquarters where's their place of business do they have a

00:39:00.140 real business or is it this one of these magical you know i own 50 companies and you can't figure out

00:39:06.220 which ones they are right with a po box yeah bro look dude a lot of these people are fucking liars

00:39:11.840 that's just the fucking reality of it okay so you have to ask very basic questions

00:39:17.220 to keep yourself from getting fucking taken advantage of and you know i see people complaining

00:39:24.080 about well this guy took advantage of me well this did he really because you knew in your heart and in

00:39:30.460 your soul that that was a quick easy way and what it really tells me is that you're just like that

00:39:35.960 motherfucker you you want to do the same thing that motherfucker's doing you want to tell people

00:39:40.660 this shit works super fast and you want to charge them a bunch of money and you want to have your

00:39:46.040 well you deserve to fucking lose you see what i'm saying so like dude this shit it's not that hard

00:39:52.800 to verify the difference between someone who's actually done it and someone who pretends to have

00:39:59.320 done it i mean it's maybe it's hard for the younger guys to be able to tell but i mean it's very easy

00:40:04.740 for me to tell yeah for sure yeah i could see where it would be hard if you didn't know yeah

00:40:09.120 bro because the rolex is a fucking rolex nobody knows that's what i'm saying yeah that's what i'm

00:40:13.180 saying dude and ask yourself some of those questions go back and listen to those questions

00:40:18.060 take a piece of paper out fucking write all those questions down and any person that you consider

00:40:24.400 that you want to help you or coach you or you want to be a part of their thing write the answer

00:40:29.260 of those questions that i just gave you down on the right side of the paper next to the questions

00:40:34.100 and the motherfuckers that have an answer for all of them those are people you can learn from

00:40:37.820 yeah i love it man i love it well happy monday guys guys that was three yeah let's go kick some

00:40:44.480 ass this week all right don't be a hoe show the show went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry

00:40:49.940 box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bank

00:40:57.100 roll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 01, 2024

735. Q&AF： Favoritism At Work, Heartless Vs Using Heart Less & Getting Jealous Of Successful Friends

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