REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 738. Q&AF： Building Your Team Up, Relationships Being An Entrepreneur & Developing Decisiveness

00:00:00.000 What is up guys, it's Andy Purcellan, this is the show for the realist's sake, goodbye

00:00:20.560 to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to reality.

00:00:25.900 It just doesn't have the same, it ain't the same, it's not the same, that was wish.com 0.98

00:00:33.840 TMU bullshit, welcome to motherfucking reality, how about that, that's better, today we have 0.94

00:00:41.680 Q and AF, that's where you submit the Q's, and we give you the AF's, now you can submit 0.99

00:00:49.360 your questions a couple different ways, the first way is, guys email these questions into 0.99

00:00:53.800 askandy at andyfricella.com, or we have a disruption, yeah this nigga just burp while I'm fucking 0.99

00:01:01.100 trying to read the tag, that's not a valid disruption, or you can go on YouTube in the

00:01:09.940 comment sections on the Q and AF episodes, and put your comment, your questions in there

00:01:15.300 and we'll pick some from there as well, you guys got me all messed up now, alright, we

00:01:20.320 got real talk, this is the worst intro ever, throughout the week, we like to start the

00:01:28.520 week off with some good personal development, how to be better type content, but throughout

00:01:32.780 the week we're gonna have different kinds of content, we're gonna have shows within the

00:01:36.220 show, alright, we're gonna have real talk, real talk is 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you

00:01:40.200 some real talk, then we're gonna have CTI, that stands for Cruise the Internet, that is

00:01:45.880 becoming our most popular show, we put up topics on the screen, we talk about what's

00:01:51.780 going on, we speculate on what's true and what's not true, and then we talk about how

00:01:55.320 we, the people, all of us, have to solve these problems going on in the world, other times

00:02:00.500 we have 75 hard verses, 75 hard verses, where someone who has completed the 75 hard program,

00:02:07.080 it's not a challenge, it is a program, comes on the show, talks about how they were before,

00:02:12.800 how they are now and how they use the 75 hard program to get control of their life, if you're

00:02:19.340 unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the world's most popular mental transformation program

00:02:24.720 and it is free, it is the initial phase of what's called the live hard program, which

00:02:29.560 is a year long mental toughness training program that is designed to keep you sharp every single

00:02:35.140 year, it's designed to be repeated year after year after year, it's the only program of its

00:02:39.700 kind, and you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only, now there is a book,

00:02:45.320 the book is available at andyfursella.com, it's called the book on mental toughness, it will cover

00:02:49.700 the entire live hard program, and 10 extra chapters on mental toughness, why it's important,

00:02:55.220 why you need to cultivate it, and how to cultivate it, along with case studies of very famous people

00:03:01.380 that you know, who talk about why they use, how they use mental toughness to become who they

00:03:05.600 are, now one thing you'll notice about our show is we are one of the only shows that does not run

00:03:11.100 ads, I'm quite certain that we are the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads, and I don't do

00:03:17.800 that because I have real businesses and I'm a successful person, and I don't want to take money

00:03:22.760 from people that are going to try to tell me what to do, I do this out of service, I do this to get

00:03:27.080 the message out, and I don't want to be censored, I don't want to be controlled, I don't want to be

00:03:31.320 leveraged, and for exchange for that we have this thing we call the fee, the fee is you got to help

00:03:37.080 us get the show out, all right, you got to share the show, we're constantly battling censorship,

00:03:41.480 traffic bans, traffic throttles, and we need your help to get the show, the show makes you think,

00:03:47.440 it makes you laugh, gives you a new perspective, it's something that you think needs to be heard,

00:03:52.060 do us a favor, help us get the show out there, and don't be a hoe, share the show, all right, 1.00

00:03:57.420 what's up dude, what's going on brother, another man, what's up with you, hey man,

00:04:01.320 you know, what, yeah, I heard, got my pool together, that's what I heard, got my pool

00:04:08.180 together, so when, when is the retreat, the retreat, whenever you come over, okay, well

00:04:13.680 how much is it, we got to tell the people bro, you got to tell them the details, so it's,

00:04:17.580 people might want to come, if you guys order today's Monday, so you guys have, yeah, okay,

00:04:20.900 so Monday, it is $997, okay, but you want to make sure you order it, you know, order your

00:04:29.320 ticket Monday, because on Tuesday it'll be $10,000, $10,000, $10,000, well, what's, I mean,

00:04:36.960 what's included with that, you know, I might throw something on the grill, you know, but

00:04:41.720 mainly we'll just get in the pool, and it's not a heated pool, so we'll have to heat it

00:04:46.300 ourselves, oh, got it, and, so drink a lot before we come over, drink a lot, okay, drink a lot,

00:04:52.640 and, yeah, but we'll be in the pool, you know, we'll find our inner selves, in the pool, find,

00:04:59.040 find each other's childs inside of each other, find the children, is crying involved, there

00:05:05.520 would be lots of crying, if you don't cry, you didn't even go, let's be honest, if you

00:05:08.860 don't cry, you got to leave, for sure, okay, all right, well, I'm in, when are we doing this,

00:05:15.760 it'll be, it sounds amazing, bro, I think it's going to really help my trauma, I hope

00:05:20.120 so, you know, I hope so, and if it doesn't, then it definitely wasn't the retreat that

00:05:24.500 didn't fix it, no, it was you, you're just too messed up, that's what it was, you didn't

00:05:27.460 cry, you just got to come more, yeah, come to the next one, yeah, I got to come to the 1.00

00:05:30.780 next one, yeah, yeah, that's fucked, man, yeah, that's how it works, that's so fucked, 0.99

00:05:36.820 hey, if, if the first time, you, sometimes it takes, like, you know, once a week, for two 0.99

00:05:42.240 years, 10 grand, sometimes, man, I mean, hey, you know, you know, you know,

00:05:45.760 what's your mental health worth, it's an investment, that's right, an investment, it's

00:05:49.420 not a sacrifice, it's an investment, max out those credit cards as an investment, that's

00:05:53.900 right, if you, if your credit cards are maxed out, max out your kids' credit cards, well,

00:05:58.940 that's a, that's a tough spot for me, what, because I, my, that happened to me as a kid,

00:06:05.060 actually, don't do that, hey, that'll ruin kids' lives, it's for a good cause,

00:06:15.760 and then they don't have to invest in them as well, it's for a good cause, okay, we got

00:06:22.680 a show to do, man, let's make some people better, so that's the announcement of the

00:06:26.040 day, DJ's pool retreat, yep, $997 today only, today only, $10,000 tomorrow, correct, crying,

00:06:36.580 barbecue, barbecue, where are we barbecuing, you know, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, do

00:06:43.360 a, wieners, all right, we'll throw some glizzies on the grill, some glizzies, yeah, we'll throw

00:06:50.820 some glizzies out there, a little glizzy glizz, yeah, we'll have some glizzies, all right,

00:06:53.660 it'll be plenty of glizzies, all right, for real, put your game face on, I'm coming to the

00:06:58.380 party, oh, man, all right, man, let's get into this, all right, Andy, I got three good

00:07:06.300 ones for you, man, let's knock these out, guys, Andy, question number one, thank you

00:07:11.600 for the show, it's really the sole reason I make it to the gym the majority of days, I'm

00:07:17.080 a commercial insurance broker, and struggle motivating the account managers my company

00:07:22.700 hires and assigns to me, they are awesome people, smart, loyal, have the ability to understand

00:07:28.560 things, but I have to tell them basically to do their job, what they need to do, when

00:07:34.380 to do it, how to do it, I've made checklists, I've invested hours teaching them the why,

00:07:40.760 the how, always including the benefit to them long term, for living up to a certain standard

00:07:45.920 of service and catching up on their work and receive positive feedback, but these people

00:07:50.700 are just always behind, and I'm always picking up the slack, doing the job for them instead

00:07:56.320 of doing what I'm great at, which is nurturing existing relationships and developing new relationships

00:08:01.760 to land more clients, I desperately need advice on how successful entrepreneurs get through

00:08:08.260 this phase by sucking it up and being there for their team, but with what strategy to come

00:08:14.060 out on the other side with a competent team that knows what they're doing, Andy, any feedback

00:08:18.700 on this, what we got? Yeah, for sure, and that's a difficult situation, because as a sales trainer

00:08:25.520 or as a leader, as a manager, we're always going to want more output from our people, and oftentimes

00:08:32.960 because we know how to execute the job, we assume that they know how to execute the job

00:08:39.800 because what's easy for us, we assume should be easy for them, and we tend to forget the years

00:08:45.680 and years and years and years and years of experience that we have put in to develop that skill set

00:08:51.120 that now feels easy. So that's something to keep in mind. The next thing to keep in mind too

00:08:58.360 is that you have to understand that being a life coach, a personal development coach for your team

00:09:05.700 is absolutely necessary. A lot of leaders and managers of small business, they say, well,

00:09:12.140 if they want to get better, they'll go get better on their own, and there's some truth to that.

00:09:15.520 You have to go get better on your own if you're part of a team. However, it is also your job as

00:09:23.240 the leader to sit down with these people or in a group setting, teach them the skills over and over

00:09:29.420 and over again. Oftentimes, because things come so easy to us, because we've had the reps, we don't

00:09:36.180 realize that they haven't had the reps. And what happens is we get tired of saying the same thing over

00:09:41.020 and over and over again, and they haven't heard it enough. And so we start to look at them like,

00:09:46.160 man, you're not getting it. When in reality, we just haven't taught it to them enough, and they

00:09:50.580 haven't practiced enough to be great at it. Outside of that, we have the situation, which you said you

00:09:56.600 do, but I don't know how well you do it, but you said you explained to them why this is important to

00:10:02.720 them. Because people are intrinsically inspired, not motivated, inspired to do great work if you

00:10:14.740 show them what great work means to them. And so a lot of times, people will paint this crazy,

00:10:21.360 you know, and valid mission out in front, but they leave out the part of what it's going to mean to

00:10:28.240 them, okay? And inherently, people are selfish. Whether they want to act like it or not, or claim

00:10:34.660 it or not, the first thing that goes through most people's mind is, okay, if I do all of this, I become

00:10:39.560 great at it. What's in it for me? And so you have to sit down with these people and almost start it

00:10:45.760 like, okay, what are your goals for your life? What are you trying to achieve? One of the things we do

00:10:52.040 here is we ask people to make a vision board. Because the vision board, after being made, at least

00:10:57.660 brings their focus of what life should be into something that is like visible, right? Most

00:11:04.660 people spend more time planning their dinner on Saturday night than they do their life. So just

00:11:10.420 going through the exercise of having someone cut out pictures and put things that mean something and

00:11:17.200 kind of create a visual that represents their life gives them an idea of how much they have to earn and

00:11:24.180 how much success they have to gain. And until you do that, most people really don't have a grasp of

00:11:29.520 that. They just kind of go. And then they end up with not much. And they're like, well, why didn't

00:11:33.480 I end up with much? Because the people who ended up with all the things that you wanted, they didn't

00:11:38.720 just get that stuff. They decided a long time ago, this is what I want. And then they created that for

00:11:44.180 themselves. And so just going through simple exercises, starting at the basics, what are you trying to do with

00:11:49.920 your life? Who are you trying to become? What are you trying to create? Where are you trying to live?

00:11:55.360 What kind of car are you trying to drive? What kind of family do you want? Do you want to take your

00:11:58.820 family on vacations to, you know, Lake, local Lake? Or do you want to take your family on vacations to

00:12:05.800 Europe? All right. How do you want to get there? Yeah, we got it. They got to know where they're going

00:12:11.800 before you can get them to understand how to get there and what's required. And so oftentimes people who are

00:12:19.020 training these people don't go far enough back to get them to make a decision about where they want

00:12:23.980 to be, which the next decision is how do I get there? And then the next decision after that is

00:12:29.220 what are the specific techniques about how to get there? And then the next thing after that is how

00:12:33.420 do I get the reps to get good at this so I can get there? And these are all phases of the learning

00:12:38.560 process. So I would make sure you're covering all three of those. Make sure that you're doing it well.

00:12:43.900 Stay patient. Don't forget that the things that are easy for you are not easy for

00:12:48.780 someone even who's been doing it one, two or three years. I have people who've been working

00:12:53.780 around me for three years that still only really understand a fraction of what I could understand

00:12:59.460 after 25 years of building something from the ground up. So things that are very obvious to me

00:13:05.980 may not be obvious to them even with some experience. So we have to get comfortable

00:13:10.700 repeating the same things over and over and over and be patient with people's ability

00:13:15.640 to pick that up and put it into play. And here's the good part. When you make that investment

00:13:20.860 in time and you sit down with someone and you actually help them and you actually coach them,

00:13:25.320 they usually become pretty good, bro. And then when they become pretty good, you use them as an

00:13:30.100 example to the other people about how it should look and what it should be. And eventually that

00:13:34.820 person's going to create a life. They're going to have a nice house. They're going to have the things

00:13:38.240 they want and they're going to appreciate you for sitting them down and showing them the path.

00:13:42.720 Yeah. Well, you know, one thing I think about too, man, is, is not everybody learns the same,

00:13:49.440 right? Like there's auditory learners, there's visual learners, hands-on learners, right? Like

00:13:54.720 how did you adjust to that? I guess, you know, when you started expanding your team, right? Like how did

00:14:00.380 you, I mean, cause you started off with, you know, one store and then you start expanding,

00:14:04.300 yeah, over 500 employees. So how does that look in the grand scheme of things? Because everybody

00:14:09.000 doesn't learn the same. Um, that's the importance of spending the time going through it over and over

00:14:15.900 and over again, because if they're hearing you talk about it and you're drawn on the whiteboard,

00:14:21.380 that's audio and visual, right? And then they have to get the experience of going out and doing the

00:14:26.840 reps. So as long as you're repeating it over and over again in that way, um, you're going to cover

00:14:32.620 the basis. And quite honestly, it's up to them to take the information. And some people just aren't

00:14:39.440 going to do it, bro. Some people, a lot of people are very, very, very ambitious with their words

00:14:45.940 and very, very, very unambitious with their actions. And that's what ends up costing them

00:14:50.920 everything that they want. So you never go up to someone and say, Hey, what kind of house do you

00:14:56.720 want to live in? And they say, I want a little piece of shit. Everybody wants a nice house. 1.00

00:15:00.380 Everybody wants a nice car. Everybody wants a nice life. So you can't expect all of these

00:15:05.340 people's words to line up with their actions. So you have to be able to see, is this person really

00:15:10.780 living the message that they say they want? Are their goals really their goals or are they full

00:15:15.340 of shit? And that's where we have to get to. And you, you get there by paying attention to them. 1.00

00:15:19.460 You know, I'll say this too. One thing on the vision boards, and I think it's really,

00:15:22.460 really cool. Anybody that's ever been to, you know, here at headquarters, you walk through

00:15:26.000 and everybody has their vision boards up. And I think that just does something to the culture

00:15:30.200 too, because it's like, you walk through here. Oh, look that I see what this guy wants. I see

00:15:34.740 what his dreams and goals are. I know that he wants something in life. And I look over here at this

00:15:38.420 one. Oh, this person wants something over here too. It builds, it kind of, it really builds a

00:15:43.040 culture. Well, there's, there's also this too, right? We have 500 people. It's impossible to really

00:15:50.240 know everybody on a deep level because there's so many people. Right? So all of us sort in a big

00:15:55.840 organization, you know, you have your little groups, you know, you know, these 10 people,

00:15:59.720 you know, these 10 people, you know, these 10 people, I try to know everybody the best I can,

00:16:03.720 but it's a lot on top of everything else. Right? So one of the cool things about a vision board

00:16:09.040 is that, you know, people over here in this department, people over here in this department

00:16:14.040 can connect over the things that are on their board because they're like, Oh dude, you like that

00:16:18.040 car? That's one of my favorites. That's what I want. Dude. Oh, you like that kind of house? I love

00:16:22.180 that kind of house. And it creates these little conversations that do, like you said, help glue

00:16:27.940 the culture and create better relationships inside the building. Yeah. I love that you

00:16:31.920 address the point of like, you know, most people are, are in it for selfish reasons and that that's

00:16:36.040 okay. It is okay. From a leadership standpoint, you gotta learn how to, how to type, how to mold

00:16:39.740 that. That's right. Bro, listen, it's, it's totally okay that you're supposed to, you're supposed

00:16:44.900 to work so you could take care of your own shit. That's why the fuck you're supposed to do 1.00

00:16:48.980 it. Now, on top of that, it should be, if you want to feel fulfilled and you want to 0.99

00:16:53.840 feel good about what you do, it should be something you believe in. It should be something you

00:16:57.240 enjoy. You should enjoy the people that you work around. Those are things that matter

00:17:01.240 because you spend most of your time in that environment. And, you know, I see a lot of young

00:17:05.880 people make the mistake of being in a place that they really like and then taking a step backwards

00:17:10.740 in terms of, I don't know, uh, you know, quality of life to make a dollar extra over here. Right.

00:17:20.360 Temporarily. And that's something to consider, dude, you know, your place of business or where

00:17:24.380 you work, you spend most of your time. So you have to be in a situation where, you know, uh,

00:17:31.300 you like the people that you're around and you like what you do and you believe in the mission,

00:17:34.520 but ultimately at the end of the day, you know, you should be, I think everybody is at a, at a base

00:17:42.640 level concerned about themselves and their family first. And that's just reality. And the people that

00:17:48.600 try to paint it as not that are, are highly manipulative. You know what I'm saying? Like

00:17:53.700 there's a lot of owners and leaders and they try to like, they try to like act like it's not that

00:17:59.520 way. No, it is that way. It's fucking that way, bro. And that's okay. Like that's how to use that

00:18:05.840 and make sure. Yeah. My job is to take your, your goals and your dreams and figure out how to make

00:18:11.780 those a reality in here. And then once we figure it out together, I say, Hey, this is what you got

00:18:15.660 to do to get there. You see what I'm saying? It's fucking great. I love it. I love it guys. Andy

00:18:20.160 question number two. Uh, what's up Andy and DJ? I'm a 24 year old guy who became a full-time

00:18:27.160 traveling health insurance agent back in March. And I've been running a mobile detailing business

00:18:31.220 for about six years. I'm getting ready to move to the big city of Atlanta, uh, from a one red light

00:18:37.180 little town to build out my own branch of the insurance brokerage. I know this is not a relationship

00:18:42.380 counseling podcast or any, uh, bullshit like that, but I wanted the honest opinion from a successful 0.92

00:18:48.480 businessman who I'm sure has made ton of sacrifices to be where he is. I've been in a relationship, uh, 0.77

00:18:54.920 for about a year with the girl who lives about two hours away from me now that I was consistently

00:19:00.220 seeing bi-weekly. Uh, but since starting insurance, I've rarely been seeing her due to the fact that I

00:19:06.840 travel every week or two out of state. Now that I'm moving and she's not ready to make a big move.

00:19:12.440 Um, I have a choice to make either. I stick it out with her and put in the extra effort to go see her,

00:19:17.620 um, and take a, take time away from both of my businesses, or I move on and put the extra effort

00:19:23.820 to build up my detailing businesses, insurance company in my new city. I guess what, what are

00:19:28.540 your thoughts on this? You know, young man trying to drive and feels like he's being held back on a

00:19:32.780 relationship basis. What's your thoughts on that? Well, it's hard for me to know the context because

00:19:39.020 you know, if this person is highly supportive of what you do and they contribute and make your life

00:19:46.380 better and they make your journey easier and you have a healthy relationship, that would be a

00:19:52.600 totally different answer than what I'm about to give. What I'm about to give is the answer for

00:19:57.480 the general situation that these young men find themselves in. All right. So this could be the one.

00:20:05.980 All right. This could be your queen or whatever the fuck you want to call it. You know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:20:11.040 That's what everybody says these days. I think it's ridiculous. However, it is what it is, but I'm going 0.99

00:20:17.120 to assume it's not because I think more men in this situation need to understand the reality of

00:20:22.520 this situation. Okay. You're 24 years old. You're trying to build a business for yourself. It's hard

00:20:28.540 to build a business. It's hard to build a life. As a man, you will be valued based upon the results

00:20:34.040 that you produce in that area. That's just the truth. Most of a man's love and appreciation

00:20:43.420 comes from the utility the man has. Can they provide? Are they capable? Do they protect the

00:20:49.820 family? And whether we want to say it's all these other things, it's still those things. And that's

00:20:54.980 reality. So you might be told it's all these other things, but I'm here to tell you that's what it is.

00:20:59.640 Come find me in 10 years and tell me I'm wrong. All right. Here's the other thing. It's very,

00:21:05.180 very hard to do. You're going to need all the energy that you can possibly put together to make

00:21:10.620 this work and make it successful. And the reality of the situation is, is that your selection pool for

00:21:20.460 potential partners is much more limited now than it will be in eight to 10 years when you've put that

00:21:27.660 time in and you've become successful and you are a man of means and utility and you can provide and

00:21:32.880 you can protect and you can, you become a more desirable mate. And that means that your ability

00:21:39.060 to select a potential partner widens. And that's where men have to be very careful because when your

00:21:45.580 ability to select a potential partner widens, sometimes men, because of the sexual dynamic that

00:21:52.280 men grow up in, make poor choices. All right. And what I mean by that is this women and men have a

00:21:58.040 completely different dynamic growing up. Women hit puberty and they have to learn to say no 1.00

00:22:02.640 immediately. All right. Men have the opposite of that experience. Men hit puberty and they can't find

00:22:07.960 anybody to fucking do anything with them. Right. They just want someone to see them naked. Right. Like, 0.99

00:22:12.500 like, bro, it's, it's not the same thing. So men are constantly chasing. Women are constantly 0.99

00:22:17.820 rejecting. And when you take a man and you become a man of means and you become a man of success

00:22:22.560 and the potential selection pool widens, you're not very experienced at making those decisions.

00:22:28.760 So I would spend this time. Yes, you can date casually. Yes, you can meet girls that'll give you

00:22:35.520 a real understanding of what you want versus what you don't want. But the reality of it is,

00:22:41.540 is your ability to find exactly what you want is going to be better in eight years. Once you've

00:22:48.460 put in the time to build this business. And I think you're going to find a much happier situation

00:22:52.760 in the long run that way. Most men. Okay. Now, are there exceptions to that? Are there people that

00:22:59.960 at 24 years old meet their wife or their husband and everything's perfect and they build together?

00:23:05.280 Yes, absolutely, dude. Okay. But that's just not,

00:23:11.540 common. Yeah. I don't, I don't think that's the norm. No, it's not. Not for young men. It's not,

00:23:16.280 dude. Like if we have a man who is, uh, if you throw them in the desert, bro. Right. And you,

00:23:23.060 you throw a woman in the desert, but the woman's got an all you can eat buffet 24, seven, 24, seven, 1.00

00:23:29.400 365 days. She can fucking eat whatever the fuck she wants. Okay. She's going to be very selective 1.00

00:23:35.180 about what she chooses to eat because there's unlimited supply. All right. You throw the man in the desert

00:23:40.340 and there's no food. Okay. And then all of a sudden you throw him a bunch of real bad food.

00:23:46.420 Guess what? He's going to eat all of it because he's starving. All right. And that's the dynamic

00:23:50.620 between men and women. And people don't give that conversation enough real discussion because once

00:23:58.400 a man becomes successful, it requires knowing what you're looking for and then resisting like a woman 1.00

00:24:05.460 would have to her whole life, the ones that aren't going to fit and be conducive to the goals that

00:24:10.980 you have. So it's very, very important that you understand this. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta go through

00:24:16.300 it. Yeah. I gotta go through it. Um, and I think one last thing I wanted to say on this, uh, to get

00:24:22.200 your, your take on, you know, this, this idea of this energy consumption you have, you're talking

00:24:27.000 about doing something really, really difficult here. Let's talk about the distractions. Let's talk

00:24:31.480 about what can, what can drain that energy bank a little bit. You know, if he, if he's trying to

00:24:36.080 go after this, this big endeavor here, well, there's two sides to that coin. If he's got to

00:24:41.000 go to Atlanta and get involved in the social life because he's got a girlfriend, it's going to take

00:24:44.660 energy too. So we have to talk about which one is, you know what I mean? There's that's, there's

00:24:49.400 weight there too. Yeah. So, but yeah, the truth of the matter is, is it's going to take most of

00:24:56.200 your energy. And the fact that you're aware of that is very, very good. You're ahead of most

00:25:00.920 people. Most people think they can, you know, go out and have a normal social life and go out

00:25:07.200 Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and still, you know, do all, all the business stuff. And it's

00:25:11.620 just not reality, dude. It doesn't happen. Yeah. I love it. I love it guys. Andy, uh, question number

00:25:18.600 three. Uh, Andy, I just finished 75 hard, uh, and the physical and mental transformation

00:25:26.200 are undeniable. However, I consider myself pretty self-aware and I realize I have some

00:25:31.760 additional work to do in the area of indecisiveness. Uh, through much of my reading during 75 hard

00:25:38.860 decisiveness was a key trait that kept coming up when it comes to highly successful people.

00:25:44.320 I realized this is likely one of my biggest blockers to achieving the level of success.

00:25:49.720 I aspire to assuming decisiveness is a skill that can be developed much like you talk about

00:25:55.560 discipline. Are there any tips or strategies you've used in the past to help become more

00:26:01.140 decisive in general? Love you guys and everything you do. Yeah. Look, most of the decisions that we

00:26:08.840 have to make are not going to be fatal. We have to understand that. All right. Most of the

00:26:13.960 decisions that you make are, even if it's the wrong one, it's not going to crush you. There's

00:26:19.560 very few life decisions or business decisions that you can make that can really, really, really

00:26:25.040 derail you. One of them being what we just covered in section two, marrying the wrong woman. Okay.

00:26:29.800 Marrying the wrong man. So realize that outside of a few key things, you know, like bro, you know,

00:26:38.520 you get in a car and drive drunk and kill someone. That's a major life fuck up. There's, there's very 0.99

00:26:45.840 few decisions outside of those kinds of decisions that, that will really derail you. Okay. So oftentimes

00:26:53.920 we put the weight of our decision-making process on consequences that aren't reality, which means

00:27:03.040 we will say, okay, I've got to make this decision or I've got to choose this. And if I choose this,

00:27:08.600 I'll become a gazillionaire. And if I choose this, I'll be dead. Right? Like these are the, 0.97

00:27:14.360 the, the consequences we put on these decisions when they're not real, they're not real. And so we have

00:27:20.140 to, to be honest with ourselves about what the consequences are of these decisions. And the truth

00:27:26.160 about entrepreneurship and the truth about success is making decisions quickly is important. And then

00:27:33.740 making adjustments with those decisions is important. So really the, the ultra ninja move

00:27:39.020 that you have to have as an entrepreneur is making a decision and then recognizing quickly if it was

00:27:45.280 the right or the wrong decision and then adjusting, if it was the wrong one or adjusting better, if it

00:27:50.080 was the right one and it can be better. I believe that that is one of the key skills that successful

00:27:55.800 people have that is not talked about enough. You have to make decisions fast because the current

00:28:03.480 of entrepreneurship and business and the market is moving very fast. So we have to make decisions

00:28:08.980 fast and then we have to recognize fast if it was the wrong decision, you know? So

00:28:13.460 man, you're, you're, you're, you're saying like that probably wasn't the right decision,

00:28:18.480 but because you, you make it one, you make it the right one. And that's how you do it. You don't

00:28:23.060 just make a decision and turn your head and let it just go down the path, bro. You, you,

00:28:28.680 you make the decision, you go, you know, you tiptoe out on there and you take the feedback. You say,

00:28:34.100 okay, I think it's, I think that path's going to hold us. I think this is going to work. You take

00:28:37.900 three or four more steps, you take three or four more steps and then you start running. All right.

00:28:42.380 And that's how you kind of feel it out and you watch real close right after you've made a decision

00:28:46.840 with extreme detail. Was this right? Or was this wrong? And if it, if it gives you indicators

00:28:53.740 that it's wrong right away, you have to like see if it's wrong twice or three times, because it could

00:28:59.900 be just that one guy or that one person or that one thing. So you want to be quick, but not too quick.

00:29:05.200 And I know this is super confusing, but there's, this is an art form. All right. And this is something

00:29:10.380 that you learn from doing this over and over and over again. So having a nuanced approach to

00:29:17.340 decision-making that's not black and white and the ability to observe feedback and adjust the

00:29:24.440 feedback quickly, I believe is one of the most important entrepreneur success skills that you

00:29:31.560 could possibly possess. Okay. So don't be afraid to make the decision because most likely it's not

00:29:37.080 going to be fatal to you or your business. And if you do make the wrong decision and you watch it,

00:29:42.940 you'll be able to see it was the wrong decision quickly. And you'll quickly be able to make this

00:29:46.420 other decision or redirect in that direction. You see what I'm saying? Would you say that most

00:29:50.800 people's problem is that they just make no decision at all? Yes. Yes. That's why the decision

00:29:55.000 making should be quick, right? If you start to look at it, you get what's called paralysis of

00:29:59.240 analysis. You'll look at this, you'll look at this, you'll look at this, you'll look at this.

00:30:03.900 Here's what, here's how I would do it. Look at this. Look at this. It's that.

00:30:10.620 A week later, I check it. A day later, I check it. How's that going? Right. When I make a decision

00:30:15.620 here, all right, I, we like, let's just say hypothetically, let's just say Sal and I are

00:30:21.020 talking a decision over and he's, he's deferring to me. What should we do? And he'll say, we could do

00:30:26.240 this or we could do this. 99% of the time, my answer will come out right away. And I'll say,

00:30:32.220 I think we should do that. And then he'll say, well, what about this? And I'll say, well, this

00:30:35.860 is why, this is what I think. And so we'll choose one and then we'll pay attention. And if it ends

00:30:42.420 up not being the right one, we just go ahead and change it. And I think that's, we have to

00:30:47.000 understand, like, we're not married to these decisions forever. There's very few decisions

00:30:50.480 that we make that cannot be adjusted. And the ability to adjust it is something that you're

00:30:56.240 going to have to learn to do, bro. Entrepreneurship is fluid. It's not rigid. It's adjusting quickly.

00:31:02.200 It's adapting fast. A lot of winning the game of business is adaptation quicker than the other guy,

00:31:08.660 but you got to make, yeah, you have to make the decision, bro. And most of the reason people can't

00:31:13.240 make the decision is because they put an unrealistic consequence attached to this, to the decision

00:31:18.840 because they're nervous or they're worried or they can't afford to lose money. So they put these

00:31:23.700 enormous weights on their shoulders and then they just choose nothing. And if you choose nothing,

00:31:27.760 you'll get nothing. And that's just the way it works. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I love it, man.

00:31:32.780 Well, guys, Andy, that was three. All right, guys, a little quicker show than normal today, but

00:31:37.820 that's so you can get out there and kick some ass. So let's go do that this week. We'll see you 0.99

00:31:42.340 tomorrow with CTI. Remember, don't be a hoe. Share the show. 1.00

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 08, 2024

738. Q&AF： Building Your Team Up, Relationships Being An Entrepreneur & Developing Decisiveness

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REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 08, 2024

738. Q&#x26;AF： Building Your Team Up, Relationships Being An Entrepreneur &#x26; Developing Decisiveness

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

738. Q&AF： Building Your Team Up, Relationships Being An Entrepreneur & Developing Decisiveness