REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 740. Q&AF： Passion Past Early Stages Of Business, Stopping Negative Thoughts & Fixing Social Awkwardness

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:20.960 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:26.280 have q and a f if you want to get your questions answered on the q and a f episodes you can do so

00:00:32.920 a couple different ways the first way is guys you can email these questions into ask andy at andy

00:00:38.500 for seller.com all right we'll get right into it today man all right yeah i got a fee it means

00:00:44.080 share the show you know buy some of my stuff you know support the show we don't run ads on the show

00:00:49.960 i don't want to i don't want to be told what i can and can't say in exchange for doll hairs but uh

00:00:56.040 i might start doing it or yin i might start doing it i might start doing it all right because

00:01:01.380 there's a lot of motherfuckers that don't share the show and i'm passing up on a lot of money a lot of 0.94

00:01:05.960 hoes out there man a lot of money but anyway i don't take ads it's gonna make a little deal with 1.00

00:01:12.480 you it's called the fee it means if the show makes you think it makes you laugh it gives you new

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00:01:21.860 please share the show we're always dealing with censorship traffic throttling uh de-platforming

00:01:28.600 issues those are things that we get for talking about what's going on in the world so uh we need

00:01:33.800 you to help us get the show out so don't be a hoe show the show all right what's up dude what's 0.99

00:01:38.700 going on dog not much yeah yeah got a special guest in here today special guest vaughn special

00:01:45.300 the pastor of disaster and my co-co-host that's you please tell me i look less white today i i wish 0.71

00:01:54.740 i would i wish i could dude i just spent like a whole week in the sun at the beach at hilton head

00:01:59.880 island yeah my cousin how much were you actually in the sun i was in the sun a lot i'm not gonna i

00:02:05.400 mean i was i was on the beach we had a private uh pool i mean it was awesome yeah great cousin he's

00:02:10.600 very six probably he's my most successful cousin yeah yeah he's like a wealth manager and yeah

00:02:14.960 family of five did you guys have fun stud yeah yeah eric is a great guy and i i spent so much time

00:02:22.300 outside i mean you look like you got like a little dusting of color or something i don't know i can

00:02:29.060 see it i'm more interested in this wealth manager i mean you know a motherfucker got money when they 1.00

00:02:33.460 that's their job is managing other niggas both like not always i mean is that the right way to say 0.99

00:02:38.360 it i know he like he's got a portfolio of 70 people and i don't know they give him money and

00:02:45.820 wealth makes him richer isn't that a wealth manager isn't that what that's called financial advisor

00:02:50.160 yeah financial and advisor you're at yeah oh okay yeah yeah but what was cool is on july 4th we were

00:02:56.540 there and uh they did this like flyby um with a bunch of jets and stuff well actually they the jets

00:03:03.060 never showed up they were supposed to be like f-16s but the world war ii stuff those planes

00:03:09.240 showed up and that oh really yeah yeah those were awesome p-51 f4 of course there no real really

00:03:15.580 yeah yeah for sure that's pretty cool it was really quick but it was cool yeah so it was fun i was

00:03:22.560 hoping i would get a little we had an awesome flyby there was no planes there's no planes though

00:03:26.400 yeah but i was hoping i'd get a little bit more pigment but i i don't know how much i get a little

00:03:33.620 bit testing yeah for those of you that don't know uh vaughn is the my original co-host from the mfceo

00:03:41.060 project and since we're getting ready to launch that again i figured we've had vaughn in a couple times

00:03:46.360 get you guys re uh familiarized with him and his jokes yeah yeah and we'll make you guys like a joke

00:03:55.760 but it wasn't really a joke yeah yeah if you appreciate dad humor you will love me yeah so

00:04:03.080 that's good all right well what we got today dude man well listen i got some good ones uh good ones

00:04:08.180 for you guys yeah i got three good ones here um let's knock these out let's get into these guys

00:04:12.620 andy vaughn question number one hi andy uh andy i've been an entrepreneur since 19 i've started

00:04:21.100 multiple businesses some failed some worked i've got myself to a stage now where i have stuck to

00:04:27.420 one industry for over five years financially i'm in a good place compared to most people

00:04:31.820 i make some really good money and the future looks bright in this industry i see many ways

00:04:36.360 i can scale up the issue is around how passionate i feel about what i'm doing i remember you saying

00:04:44.000 in a recent episode that passion is super important to get you past the early stages i'm already

00:04:50.460 past the early stages now but far too often i feel myself getting burnt out and dreaming of doing

00:04:56.160 something else feeling like my full potential will not be found in this industry i'm currently in

00:05:01.500 i'm scared to chuck away everything i have built to chase an idea but equally i don't know how valid

00:05:07.860 these feelings are or if i should stick to what i'm doing have you ever felt like this is this normal

00:05:14.180 to feel like jumping into a different industry in order to meet my full potential or do you think i'm

00:05:19.380 simply in the wrong industry if i'm always feeling like this my main concern is the amount of time

00:05:24.600 i've spent building the initial compounding up for this current industry i know how vital that is

00:05:30.500 however i cannot keep doing something forever that i don't feel fulfilled in can i i did think about

00:05:35.700 getting this uh to a stage where it's made me a large amount of money and at that point finding what

00:05:41.560 i'm truly passionate about but i just feel lost thanks andy is this normal is this a normal thing that

00:05:46.940 that i guess business owners go through this this idea of passion a few years in

00:05:51.080 i think that it's very easy for people once they have their basic needs taken care of once they have

00:06:06.760 a good income stream coming in to look around and lose the gratitude for what they have what you have

00:06:15.520 is what you desired more than anything five six years ago and now you have it all right and you're

00:06:21.640 looking at it and you're saying well it would be nice if i could go do this or it would be nice if i

00:06:27.160 could go do that i think it's important that when you do spend time compounding the effort and the

00:06:33.880 skill set and learning the process and going through this journey it's very important to remember that

00:06:40.680 you're not always going to feel like doing it in fact you're probably not going to feel like doing

00:06:45.460 it once you've done it so many times but that's what gives you the expertise that you need to be

00:06:51.280 successful it's about mastering the monotonous actions all right and in the beginning these actions

00:06:57.220 are not monotonous they're exciting they're new they're fresh and we want to go do them because we

00:07:02.120 don't have any money coming in and we want to build this and we're going to conquer this and we're going

00:07:06.300 to create that and it's exciting and then after we do it a thousand ten thousand thirty thousand times

00:07:14.640 imagine how many times i've done the things that i've become great at over the last 25 years

00:07:21.000 probably literally hundreds of thousands of times and anytime that you do anything at that level of

00:07:29.820 frequency and repetitiveness it's going to become monotonous so you have to be okay with a monotonous

00:07:36.140 existence to provide the lifestyle that you're looking to create because you can't become a 0.66

00:07:44.700 master of a skill set without that many reps so we have to be very careful about it is this valid or

00:07:53.280 is this not valid is this a how i'm really feeling or is this how i'm really feeling today and when it

00:07:59.360 comes to passion passion is an overhyped over talked about abstract feeling that you do feel

00:08:08.020 in the beginning and the reason i say it's important in the beginning is because in the beginning for the

00:08:13.600 first two three four years it's going to be really hard and so you have to really care about what you do

00:08:20.720 and the mission that you're on in order to become great at it when you're not getting any money coming

00:08:26.020 back so what's going to carry you through that time where things are really hard and you're not

00:08:32.940 making any money well the only thing that's really going to carry you through is your excitement for

00:08:38.260 what you do and also how much you desire the end result and so it's very very important to

00:08:46.000 stop yourself right now at this point in time and ask yourself a real question do i feel this way

00:08:53.520 because i'm losing sight of how grateful i am to be in the position that i'm in or do i feel this way

00:09:00.400 because this is truly something that i hate doing and i can't do it but the truth of the matter is is

00:09:06.160 that once we start making some money once we start becoming successful and once we get a little bit

00:09:11.540 comfortable it's very easy to look at other things and say oh i'd rather have that or i'd rather have

00:09:16.900 this but you have to understand to have that or to have this is probably going to require the same

00:09:22.580 amount of time investment you put in to be good at what you're at so we have to really break down

00:09:27.460 all these pros and cons and you know the question was have i ever dealt with this well yeah dude

00:09:34.080 you don't think that i look online and dream about completely different lives sometimes you don't think

00:09:39.540 sometimes i'm like fuck dude i'd really love to live in tuscany and like just grow fucking tomatoes 0.95

00:09:44.340 you know i'm saying or whatever right like we all have these little dreams that are like you know

00:09:50.320 i guess fantasies about what we would do outside of what we currently do but we have to remember

00:09:58.920 there's a reality and the reality is is it's very hard to make a decent living for anyone and if you're

00:10:06.160 in a position where you've put in time and effort and skill to get yourself in a place where you are

00:10:11.340 making a good living you should really think hard and try to remember what it was like before that

00:10:16.840 before you just throw it all away and i see people do this with their business i see people do this

00:10:22.120 with their relationships i see people do this with uh as an entrepreneur in their jobs they get

00:10:27.980 comfortable things get a little bit boring and they want that excitement back but what they don't

00:10:32.780 realize is that excitement is always temporary so if you're always chasing that new feeling just like

00:10:38.460 in a relationship if you're always chasing that new feeling you're going to always be dissatisfied

00:10:44.520 because that new feeling is always fading out so you have to get comfortable understanding that

00:10:50.320 to be successful is not always exciting right and if i were you if you want to make it exciting again

00:10:57.480 i would start thinking about what it is that you do and how you could scale that into a legendary

00:11:03.600 uh vision that is maybe something that no one's ever done with what it is that you do okay so you

00:11:09.980 can make these monotonous things exciting by expanding your vision and expanding your your goal uh for what

00:11:17.400 it is that you do and then it plays into your core competencies that you already have a natural skill set

00:11:21.860 for so that's my take on it i think that far too many people value buzz terms and things that are

00:11:32.240 popular on the internet and they think because they consume these data points all the time from

00:11:38.480 every single person that they must be doing it wrong and i think we should all consider that maybe the

00:11:44.600 reason that these people talk so much and the reason these people throw out all these buzz terms

00:11:49.260 is because they need to evaluate what they're doing not you need to evaluate what you're doing

00:11:54.620 and so a lot of this information that's out on the internet that we read you know that's like all this

00:12:00.440 touchy-feely feel good buzzword shit you have to realize that as an entrepreneur that's not for

00:12:07.660 you that's that that information is not for you we have to learn how to look at the information

00:12:12.880 that we receive in the proper context that applies to us as opposed to just consuming all of the shit

00:12:20.620 that's on the internet and thinking it's for us because someone with a couple letters behind their name

00:12:25.380 wrote it all right the reality is most people will never even get to where you're at and you're going

00:12:30.920 to throw that away because you're comfortable with it now that doesn't make sense dude

00:12:34.100 let me let me ask you this andy because you've also said before too it's like you know you had a couple

00:12:39.480 of very big i guess shifts in perspective in your entrepreneur uh you know timeline right where

00:12:46.580 you know it was money focus was about you then it switched to the customer focus and delivering

00:12:50.760 that but then there was a switch also where you had to realize man like i got this far and it wasn't

00:12:55.800 just because of me it was the people that i had around me my employees yeah so then that became a

00:13:00.560 big focus for you too is that something that maybe could ignite some new you know passion right like

00:13:05.740 taking care of the people that helped you get five years in right well yeah bro i mean look dude i think

00:13:10.900 i think a big reason why a lot of people get bored with what they do is because they they make it all

00:13:15.900 about themselves and once them once they are taken care of they don't really have something to work

00:13:21.280 for anymore and it never crosses their mind ever that they should work to create the dreams that the

00:13:28.200 people that work with them have for them just like they helped you create the ones for you and it never

00:13:33.880 it goes right over people's head and it's really weird to me because i believe that that's a responsibility

00:13:38.500 if you're on a team to really do your best to present people with a big enough vision and a big

00:13:45.280 enough plan to where they can build their dreams and their lives within it and then when you really

00:13:49.800 dedicate yourself to that it becomes a bigger more motivating purpose than what you even had for

00:13:54.780 yourself i mean i could tell you this and this is true for me uh i don't have to work ever again

00:14:00.560 like i don't know that people understand that like i do not have to work i do not have to be here

00:14:05.980 i do not have to do this and that is without me selling any of my companies okay so why do i do it

00:14:13.640 then well i do it because i have people in this building that have been here seven eight nine ten

00:14:19.500 seventeen eighteen years you see what i'm saying and my goal is to make sure that they and their

00:14:25.800 families are taken care of and that is a huge motivating factor to me and so i come in here like

00:14:31.600 dude i don't even take a paycheck from this company like that's what people don't know

00:14:35.040 i come in here every day and work for fucking no paycheck so that i can help these motherfuckers 1.00

00:14:40.760 build their shit and that is more fulfilling and exciting to me than it ever was when it was just

00:14:46.080 about me and so yeah dude we can expand the vision to be about other people and then if you want to

00:14:52.280 take that a step further you should take what it is that you do whatever service or product or whatever

00:14:58.820 business offering you have and figure out how to make that benefit people at the at the highest

00:15:04.640 possible level and now you have this exciting business again where you're solving people's

00:15:09.660 problems you're building people's careers and it you know and all the while you're getting some benefit

00:15:15.540 from it because your business is growing and you're building an equitable asset and you're being

00:15:20.920 rewarded with these amazing feelings of like watching people buy houses and build their families

00:15:27.460 and yeah it's never easy you know and you always wish like hey i wish i could like you know do more

00:15:34.140 for these people but at the end of the day they have to build their own shit and the best thing that you

00:15:38.200 can do as an entrepreneur is to give them the opportunity to take the initiative to create their

00:15:42.740 own lane and uh some people will take it and some people won't but it's very fulfilling to make it

00:15:48.040 about other people as well and i think that's a really really really important point i think a lot

00:15:52.680 of people that are unhappy as an entrepreneur are unhappy because of one main reason uh which is they

00:16:01.680 don't have a mission they don't have a purpose that's outside themselves right there's three elements

00:16:06.160 to happiness okay there's discipline am i practicing discipline am i living a lifestyle that allows me to

00:16:13.640 control the things that i'm in control of two am i full of gratitude do i have gratitude for where

00:16:20.400 i'm at and it sounds like this guy might be missing a little bit of that because you're bored it's

00:16:24.020 natural that doesn't mean you're a bad dude sometimes we're very thankful sometimes we're not

00:16:28.360 sometimes we are again sometimes we aren't we feel better when we are and the last thing is and this

00:16:34.380 is the big one is what is my purpose and what is my mission is it very clear to find do i go after it

00:16:39.160 every single day and if you have those three elements it never really gets boring uh it gets

00:16:43.820 boring when you're missing one of those elements and that's where you start to feel unfulfilled and

00:16:47.280 unhappy and what it is that you're working on just to circle back and re-emphasize some of the things

00:16:52.080 that you said i think expectations are huge i mean i have a great wife i have five great kids i get to

00:16:58.020 work with you in my business i can coach and consult great entrepreneurs and yet on almost every other day

00:17:03.820 i feel like shooting myself in the head yeah that's just life yeah you know and don't do that

00:17:08.140 and so you know i'm not going to but and so i think people's expectations of happiness and just

00:17:14.720 emotional fulfillment on a day-to-day basis are very very unrealistic and we just need to realize

00:17:19.880 that and i think if i'm not going to be too hard on this guy i'm going to say that when you're down

00:17:25.380 and when you're bored it's usually because you have high standards and people who have high standards

00:17:30.040 are always going to deal with some sense of dissatisfaction some sense of wanting to do more

00:17:33.880 some sense of being bored and getting getting kind of itchy to do something you know better and greater

00:17:38.380 and more life impacting and it's like what you said you really have to go back to that issue of

00:17:44.020 gratitude cultivate gratitude obviously being content is not the same as being complacent but reminding

00:17:50.460 you of your blessings reminding yourself of the things you've accomplished so far and just keeping

00:17:54.520 your your head in the right place in that regard but i would also say this i love what dj said about

00:18:00.280 like redirecting your attitude toward um the people that you know are helping you and reconnecting with

00:18:08.020 your team i think the other thing that is really important is to as he's built this company i think he

00:18:14.980 probably i'm guessing has gotten further and further away from the front line so maybe he's not

00:18:20.760 experiencing how his company is really changing lives and i know with you and me um something

00:18:27.040 that completely fueled our fire when we were doing the mfco is to hear these actual stories of how

00:18:33.380 people's lives were being changed i got a i got a text from a mutual friend of ours um who went over

00:18:39.000 a hundred million dollars right isn't that amazing and one of the things he said was he's like i learned

00:18:43.660 all of this on the mfc ceo project and alex you know has literally he's he's he's literally the

00:18:50.460 case study of taking everything that he learned in that podcast and executing it to the letter yeah

00:18:55.780 and so that that i think is so important is don't i've got about a i've got about half a dozen people

00:19:02.020 who have messaged me from arate since the day we started that are doing now over a hundred million

00:19:09.660 bucks yeah yeah it is amazing and it makes you feel a lot of them started less than eight figures

00:19:14.920 they were in they were barely into seven figures like a million bucks yeah yeah and it's so in five

00:19:19.760 years well and some of them started ground zero i can promise you this there's not another

00:19:24.660 motherfucker out there that has testimonials like that no no but it's it's reconnecting with your

00:19:29.960 team it's reconnecting with your customers and maybe maybe he just needs to do that maybe he needs

00:19:34.440 to get on the front lines again and really see how he's impacting it's a huge deal dude i'm

00:19:39.060 happiest when i'm in here working with the team i think that's a massive fucking point that that 0.88

00:19:43.700 you're making a you know you're making yeah like when when we start out we're excited about something

00:19:49.580 and then we start to instead of work in the business we start to work on the business and

00:19:53.340 we back up we back up we back up now we're detached from this thing that we actually were excited about in

00:19:58.960 the beginning i totally relate to that you know there's nothing better for me than like legitimately still

00:20:04.640 yeah when i visit the retail stores and i get to talk to people like on the floor like that's the

00:20:10.360 coolest things i get to hear their story i get to hear their struggle i get to hear where they need

00:20:15.140 help and i get to assist in that and that's very rewarding and now i find that with my employees

00:20:20.980 right but i think that's a great point dude yeah sure last thing i was going to say is just on the

00:20:26.220 issue of passion and motivation i mean we obviously understand that that stuff needs to be created

00:20:31.880 and that's why visualization is so important that's why connecting every day with your vision

00:20:36.580 you know what what you want for your personal happiness what you want for your relationships

00:20:41.340 what you want for your professional success doing that on a regular basis because if you don't

00:20:46.420 regularly cultivate it it's going to die it's not like you just create this vision for yourself

00:20:50.620 and it's just one time right yeah it's just you know static no it's dynamic you have to

00:20:54.660 continually revisit it and restrengthen it so that you create that passion right it doesn't just come

00:21:00.420 and go yeah yeah i love it man i love it guys uh any question number two uh andy first i want to

00:21:09.420 thank you guys i've been a listener since 2017 i don't think there's an episode i haven't heard

00:21:14.300 i went back and listened to all the mfceo episodes um you've had a profound impact on my life

00:21:21.460 uh for the positive i've completed 75 hard multiple times and had big leaps for it every single time my

00:21:29.120 question is how do you intercept negative thoughts and actions when they come up i do my best to

00:21:37.180 exercise discipline in the ways you often talk about but i catch myself taking shortcuts on occasion

00:21:43.220 sometimes i don't even realize it till it's too late then i'll mentally beat my own ass for it 0.84

00:21:48.920 uh it's probably not productive so how do you catch yourself or is it just continuous awareness

00:21:55.120 and i'll get better and intercept my mind before i go there how does that work how do you stop those

00:22:00.560 bad thoughts the moment that they come in if at all well first of all i think it's important to

00:22:06.520 remember that you're always going to have bad thoughts no matter how strong no matter how conditioned

00:22:11.100 your mind is no matter how mentally tough you become those negative thoughts are just a part of the human

00:22:16.420 experience and so we are going to have negative thoughts no matter what uh you take the toughest

00:22:21.980 person in the world that you look up to and you think nothing rattles them i promise you there's

00:22:26.600 a lot of shit that bothers them and in fact i would bet that there's probably a lot more stuff that

00:22:31.420 bothers them than the average person which is why they're so successful because successful people

00:22:36.340 are usually experts at taking anxious frustrating negative thoughts and turning them into productive

00:22:44.160 action that is one of the biggest separators between people who do and people who don't it's that

00:22:50.200 people who do have the ability to take those negative thoughts and give them a sliver of legitimacy

00:22:58.100 and let that propel them into action what what people who don't win do is they hear the negative thought

00:23:05.240 and they do one of two things they either brush it off completely and act like it didn't happen

00:23:09.080 okay which then ignores all the signals that are trying to be sent to that person about what they're not

00:23:14.760 doing and what they're supposed to do or they dwell on it and they paralyze themselves because they let

00:23:20.620 themselves get so negative and what we have to realize is that there's value in negative thoughts

00:23:25.340 usually those negative thoughts are exaggerations of very valid points these are these are valid points

00:23:32.180 that you need to address that have been exaggerated in your mind to meet become this mountain of a problem

00:23:39.280 when in reality all it requires is a little bit of action so we have to learn to

00:23:44.340 discern between what is an overly negative thought what is true and what should be dismissed and i think

00:23:53.460 that a healthy place to be is to be the person who can look at the negative thought can deduce the

00:24:01.140 truth from it and say okay well this is exaggerated but i do need to really work on this one thing

00:24:06.980 and then take that negative thought and then propel it into immediate action that is what champions do

00:24:12.440 i've never met someone who is what i would consider successful who doesn't operate that way with

00:24:19.700 negativity and i think a lot of people especially earlier in the journey they believe that having

00:24:26.680 negativity is something that the high achievers do not have and it's not that they don't have it or

00:24:32.700 they found some trick to get away from it it's that they've learned how to use it productively

00:24:36.720 without letting it paralyze them so that's my little take i mean what do you think dude

00:24:41.480 i think you're right when you say that you're always going to have negative thoughts um and i

00:24:45.680 don't think you can necessarily get rid of them you just have to replace them you have to replace

00:24:49.520 them with positive thoughts because it's not it's not enough just to run away from something bad you

00:24:54.680 have to run towards something good and you know for me i i you know working with you reading

00:25:00.420 different books there's a there's a question that i asked myself that i got from a book

00:25:05.480 uh called relentless solution focus that is a very simple question is when i'm when i'm attacked

00:25:11.060 by a negative thought it's one what's one thing i can do right now to make this better yeah what's

00:25:14.980 one thing i can do right now to make this better right and you don't you don't focus on perfection

00:25:19.180 you don't focus on perfectly solving the problem you you focus on progress because that's what

00:25:24.200 obviously that's what elite achievers do they focus on getting better they know that you can chase

00:25:29.080 perfection but you're never going to get it right so you just focus on moving along point by point

00:25:33.620 day by day um getting better and and that's i mean that's what works for me and i think that's

00:25:38.980 what works for pretty much everybody i knew who's successful well dude i also think that it's important

00:25:44.280 to realize that if you could just break this down in a very logical think about this logically okay and

00:25:53.200 let's i know everybody likes to say we're not in a competition this is just about me versus me

00:25:59.620 blah blah blah bullshit okay there's another there's a whole bunch of people out here trying 0.73

00:26:04.600 to do the same shit that you're doing and there's limited spots for that position whatever it is 0.61

00:26:09.320 whether it be a place in the market of business whether it be a place inside of a company whether

00:26:15.180 it be on a sports team whether it be auditioning for a play there are limited spots at the top of the

00:26:22.340 fucking mountain regardless of what anybody else has told you and so what you have to think about this 0.90

00:26:27.820 is break down what this means to you if you have a negative thought and most people get the negative

00:26:36.400 thoughts and they shut down they start saying poor me i need therapy i'm broken i can't get ahead

00:26:44.300 my parents screwed me over i was born in the wrong place and you start telling yourself all this stuff

00:26:51.380 all right that's what most people do when the negative thoughts come in they beat themselves down

00:26:56.600 into paralyzation now if that person then works themselves out let's say that takes them two

00:27:03.820 days to get over their negative thoughts so for like two days they're quote-unquote resting and

00:27:09.580 recovering and processing their feelings all right and then you have you all right and you get the same

00:27:17.480 negative thoughts this person gets except when you get the negative thoughts that this person gets

00:27:22.940 you take those negative thoughts and you act in a way that moves you further from the place that

00:27:29.660 you're afraid of immediately meaning you take that you pivot your actions into production now compare

00:27:38.560 those two people like they're in a race all right they get the same amount of negative thoughts

00:27:43.280 the first guy gets the negative thoughts it costs him two three days every time the second guy you

00:27:49.620 gets the negative thoughts and it supercharges you the right direction every single time what is the

00:27:55.400 difference in how far you are going to go over the course of 10 years operating like that it is years

00:28:02.720 of progress we're talking about either gaining or losing depending on how you handle negativity

00:28:09.560 and depending on how you process it and do you process it quickly do you let it paralyze you or do you let

00:28:15.640 it propel you forward and if you could be the person that lets it propel you forward you're going to

00:28:20.500 have a massive advantage over almost everybody else and if i had to put a percentage on it i'd say like

00:28:25.580 99 of people 99 of people let the negativity stop them in their tracks stop their action makes them

00:28:33.220 reevaluate instead of pushing through they start saying well maybe i should move to alaska and become a

00:28:39.520 fisherman you know they started looking at all these other things when in reality dude

00:28:43.320 you're just getting a signal it you should be looking at it like damn i'm blessed to have these

00:28:49.240 signals i'm i'm i'm kind of blessed to get this little

00:28:52.380 burst of intuition that tells me i need to move right these are things that matter a lot to the

00:29:01.040 progress of an individual and when you scale them out over time dude it's it's lifetimes of difference

00:29:07.220 and so you just have to think about it practically you're you're racing a person who gets paralyzed

00:29:11.900 every time they have negative thoughts so what are you going to do yeah it's almost like the

00:29:17.120 negative energy it's it's a renewable bro the dark side energy is fucking a thousand times more potent 0.83

00:29:23.540 than positivity the mental health days that's that solar energy bullshit bro listen it's like the ev

00:29:28.640 shit listen dude it's a big prop the victim culture that's perpetuated in society is a huge problem for

00:29:34.820 high achievers because high achievers that information is not for them that information

00:29:41.200 is for everybody else it's for all the people who aren't going to ever really do anything who are

00:29:46.200 going to wallow in their own lives in their own situations and they're going to create an identity

00:29:52.200 around why they can't and why they're broken and why they're upset and that information isn't for

00:29:58.600 you to consume as a driven ambitious person that's for other people who are never going to do anything

00:30:03.560 the information that you need to consume is all the information is going to make you not like them

00:30:07.720 all right so i don't know any high achievers that honestly like spend a lot of time in that in that

00:30:16.780 you know touchy-feely in touch with their emotions type shit it's i dude even me like i was around it for 0.74

00:30:25.100 for four or five years with a lot of people who were very much into that and bro it infected me it

00:30:32.180 infected my mentality and infected my personality in a negative way where i was like always processing

00:30:37.940 like how i felt and like fuck i always felt like shit you know why because like i was all i ever 0.95

00:30:43.320 thought about why do i fucking feel weird why do i feel weird what you know what you know what cured it 0.96

00:30:47.440 getting in the fucking fight bro warriors need a fucking war they need a fucking project to build 0.99

00:30:52.580 they need an enemy to conquer they need a mission they need a purpose ambitious people need that

00:30:57.660 if you you know you don't need rest bro you need fucking you need something to do you know and and 0.99

00:31:03.780 so when we think about like how high achievers are wired versus everybody else we have to like really

00:31:09.620 realize that a lot of this information that's on the internet is poisonous to what we're trying to

00:31:13.740 accomplish now i'm not saying that it doesn't help some people it probably does but i can tell you

00:31:18.740 this sitting around focusing on your problems all fucking day long is never going to help anybody 0.94

00:31:22.580 ever it's going to make it worse it very unpopular opinion but i think when people are down on

00:31:29.080 themselves or when we're down on ourselves our our natural human response is to want to show

00:31:34.520 compassion and want to be empathetic and that sort of thing but the reality is is that when i'm down on

00:31:39.720 myself it's usually for two reasons number one i'm being selfish i'm just being prideful and focused

00:31:46.140 on myself and i've lost the reality that really it's not about me that my motivation should be to

00:31:53.240 provide value to other people it should be to help other people so get the focus off myself get it on

00:31:58.100 to other people and get to work and that's the second point is that it's often because i'm lazy

00:32:02.560 i'm making excuses i want to i want to look at myself and i'm going to say oh i'm so deficient in

00:32:08.700 xyz i'm just never going to do anything special in life well no stop getting your focus off yourself

00:32:14.240 and as you put it many times in the mfco project put your faith in the work yeah get your focus off

00:32:20.800 yourself stop wallowing in self-pity and just get to work and when you when you make it your point to

00:32:27.000 help people when you get the focus off them and on excuse me off yourself and onto them and when you

00:32:32.360 put your faith in the work and take action the negativity dissipates well dude and also you know

00:32:38.640 if you've never done anything before how how do you know that the work is going to work

00:32:43.880 you don't right okay and that paralyzes a lot of people a lot of people say man i'd really like

00:32:50.020 to climb mount everest but how how do you climb it well bro you climb it just like everybody else

00:32:55.500 climbed it it's one fucking step at a time and it's going to be hard and you're not going to be 0.93

00:32:59.860 able to breathe and it's going to it's going to be one of the hardest things you've ever done in your

00:33:03.620 life but other people have done it so you could do it too and so we have to realize that you know we we can't

00:33:13.880 live in this place of idealistic thought we have to live in reality and in reality

00:33:20.000 if you do the work eventually some good things are going to happen okay and when when the good

00:33:27.280 things happen you get a burst of confidence you say look i'm i did this work and it's working and

00:33:33.480 the first time that ever happens you're so excited you can't even believe it and then what happens

00:33:39.360 you keep doing the work because you got a little taste of something and then and then another win

00:33:44.960 happens and all of a sudden now you have a little bit more confidence and then you keep working and

00:33:49.960 another win happens and it's bigger than the first two and then you keep working a little bit more so

00:33:55.600 what ends up happening is you start to realize that you're just like everybody else if you do the work

00:34:01.780 the result will be there and this idea that oh i'm going to do all this work and it's not going to

00:34:08.180 work for me that's total bullshit okay what one man can do another can do and if one person goes

00:34:16.240 through the maze you can go through the maze but you have to realize that you're going to have to

00:34:21.600 start walking before you figure out that you can get to the other side and that's the big discovery of

00:34:28.180 i guess of entrepreneurship is that we have to do the work to get the belief we don't have the belief

00:34:34.520 and then do the work you might have a little belief you might say well i think i can do this

00:34:38.440 but that's not really belief that's sort of like this might be a good idea right to actually have

00:34:44.700 this unshakable unrelenting belief in what you are doing and who you are and what you're capable of

00:34:52.700 you have to go down the path with the work so you have to put the faith in the work first

00:34:59.420 get a little bit of reward you believe a little bit go a little bit further down the path get a

00:35:04.840 little bit more reward your belief goes up you do that for five or six years bro you're going to

00:35:09.940 realize that you're capable of anything as long as you go down the path and most people won't go down

00:35:14.500 the path because they always ask themselves this what if i do all this work and it doesn't work and

00:35:20.580 that's just not a reality i've never seen i've never ever ever seen someone who does the work the

00:35:27.520 proper way and fucking fails it does not actually happen it's a myth if you look at the failed 0.88

00:35:34.660 businesses if you look at the failed relationships if you look at the failed fitness journeys it's one

00:35:40.200 of two things either one they didn't do the work long enough to get the result or two they were doing

00:35:45.820 the wrong work okay so you were you thought you were doing it but you were doing the wrong thing

00:35:51.140 that's just as important you have to know that you're on the right path well how do we know we're on

00:35:55.800 the right path we follow people who've been on the fucking path and this is why i talk to you guys 0.90

00:36:01.100 about not buying these cornballs entrepreneurs courses who haven't built anything because how

00:36:07.080 the fuck do you know how to get to china if you've never fucking been to china right you see what i'm 0.94

00:36:10.960 saying so that's how you know you follow someone's path you role model them you learn by watching them

00:36:16.940 and uh yeah vaughn the fucking work is going to come before the belief and if you want strong belief 0.91

00:36:22.340 in yourself you're going to have to do things to earn it that's why 75 hard is such a valuable

00:36:27.000 program because you lack belief you lack confidence you lack grit you lack perseverance you lack all of

00:36:33.460 the things that you actually need that encompass what's called mental toughness to achieve once you

00:36:38.660 develop these things you have high confidence and you know that you can achieve and that's the most

00:36:43.740 powerful thing of the program it's not that people don't know what to do it's that they don't have

00:36:49.900 enough discipline to fucking actually do it which is what costs you everything in your life yeah i 0.91

00:36:55.560 love it man andy i want to actually i don't want to lose this and then this is listen this is a real

00:37:01.140 ass question all right and this might go over some people's head all right but i want you to give me a

00:37:06.420 real answer here okay because we're talking about using this negative energy negative energy is powerful

00:37:11.260 either way it could be it could really help you or it could really fuck you up right depending on how

00:37:16.160 you use it are there times that you or maybe somebody else that you know high achievers right

00:37:22.700 where they will literally create this negative energy out of fucking nowhere yeah i do it every 0.93

00:37:29.160 day zero substance i do it every day can we talk about that yeah i wake up in the morning and i don't

00:37:34.200 want to get out of bed yeah because i don't sleep very well so every morning i wake up i'm fucking 0.93

00:37:38.500 exhausted i haven't woke up one time in the last 25 years and been like damn dude i slept good

00:37:44.980 it's just not reality for me um and don't fucking send me your fucking protocols and all your fucking 0.99

00:37:52.080 yeah yeah motherfucker i tried it all okay i've had fucking ton of sleep studies put crystals in your 0.96

00:38:00.100 butt yeah that's right don't don't send me your shit that's what happens all the time yeah everybody's 0.93

00:38:05.500 a fucking backyard expert like i just i've struggled with it for forever i've never fucking 0.99

00:38:10.340 explored the solution tried to fix it yeah um so when i wake up i'm tired so i have people i hate

00:38:17.380 on the internet right and so what i do is i fucking go right to their pages quietly i see what the fuck 0.99

00:38:26.200 they're doing i get really pissed off i get the fuck out of bed and i say i'm gonna beat the shit out 0.99

00:38:31.080 of these people today and dude i use it every single day to get going every single day because

00:38:36.400 it gives me anxiety a little bit in the morning and i'm like oh fuck i better get up because these 0.81

00:38:40.600 motherfuckers are at it already yeah okay and and like you know i might not actually deep shit right 0.76

00:38:46.180 here i might not actually hate them right but i i do because i want to beat them you know what i'm

00:38:51.040 saying so i convince myself that they're the enemy when in reality they're probably just doing their

00:38:55.960 own thing yeah it reminds me like you know the movie the water boy when uh when bobby boucher is

00:39:02.140 on the field and like he puts his uh that dude's face on the other player he's like what'd you say

00:39:06.340 about my mama you know what i'm saying like he's creating the end but well that's that's that's a play

00:39:11.240 on a scene from the program so if you've ever seen the program which is a famous football movie it's the

00:39:16.380 best football movie ever fucking made really yeah even better than remember the titan yes the pro 0.83

00:39:21.320 anybody that actually played football knows the program okay place at the table yes right

00:39:25.780 starting defense place at the table there's this scene where alvin mack who is the star middle

00:39:32.560 linebacker starts looking at this dude on the field and starts being like i saw you come out of my

00:39:38.620 mama's house blah blah like it starts like making this shit up and the guy's like what are you talking 0.75

00:39:42.900 about i don't know your body and he fucking kills the guy right so like michael jordan's famous for 0.98

00:39:47.720 i was just gonna say yes there are rookies that will say yeah like during games he'll look at him

00:39:52.760 and go what'd you say to me i didn't say anything to you mr jordan no you're disrespecting me yeah and

00:39:59.080 he would just create it in his head that these these rookies were disrespecting him and then yeah

00:40:03.460 the rest is history it's a big deal dude a lot very all you know how tim grover talks about cleaners

00:40:08.620 everybody out there you think you're a fucking cleaner you don't know shit about cleaning

00:40:12.300 okay fucking tim grover is the only person in the world that can tell someone if they're a cleaner 0.94

00:40:17.900 or not you're not a fucking cleaner otherwise you would you wouldn't even think you were because 0.96

00:40:21.800 that's how much of a cleaner you would be he talks about this all the time he's like the greatest

00:40:28.040 people fucking invent problems to solve they invent enemies and three things that i have to have 0.98

00:40:36.000 for me to feel motivated out of the three things is i have one of them is i have to have an enemy

00:40:44.180 i have to have someone to defeat and um so you know when you're beating everybody's ass sometimes 0.83

00:40:50.300 you gotta make that make that up you know what i mean or you've got to expand who your enemy is

00:40:54.820 maybe maybe it's not this guy that's behind you that you've been stomping on for a while maybe it's

00:41:00.460 this dude that's 10 miles ahead of you and that you see what i'm saying yeah that's some deep

00:41:05.780 shit yeah well rush limbaugh was pretty popular up until 91 but he took off in 92 because bill

00:41:13.040 clinton became the president and then suddenly rush limbaugh had this like ultimate enemy that he could

00:41:18.520 leverage and go after and it brought out the best of him and he obviously ended up becoming a legend

00:41:23.720 in broadcasting i love it man i love it well guys andy question number three uh third and final

00:41:30.280 question uh hey andy i'm 18 years old and i just finished high school my school went virtual three

00:41:36.720 years ago and then we went back in person my senior year but it just felt weird and wrong i and many of

00:41:44.400 my peers had a really hard time adjusting back to in person i feel like i'm just completely socially

00:41:52.520 awkward i have a hard time speaking to people meeting new people and it honestly gives me a lot of

00:41:58.240 anxiety to even have to think of doing it i'm not afraid of people i just feel like i get in those

00:42:04.260 situations and don't really know what to do i don't really even remember what it was like before this

00:42:09.920 can i fix this of course you this is a perishable skill people skills a perishable skill if you don't

00:42:16.780 practice them it becomes uncomfortable all right especially if you're an introverted human i am an

00:42:22.340 introverted human that has had to learn extroverted skills and most people when they meet me they're like

00:42:28.120 there's no fucking way this dude's an introvert no i am an introvert introvert i had to fucking learn 0.96

00:42:33.540 the skills most of my time i spend alone all right and i have no problem with it i'm not trying to like

00:42:39.980 you know call vaughn and say vaughn i'm always alone no vaughn calls me i'm like what do you want

00:42:45.180 i'm alone yeah right so like i'm not having these fucking problems with it like it's what i like 0.96

00:42:52.560 and my skill set has become so strong that it doesn't even show right but when we get ourselves

00:43:01.220 out of that as introverts like if i'm not around people for a long time or i don't like you know

00:43:07.500 because dude there's there's months at a time where i'm not around anybody but here right and i know

00:43:11.960 these people these people are family to me but like i'm talking about outside right um my skills

00:43:18.560 diminish it's just like shooting a pistol or playing a guitar or uh you know being fit if you

00:43:25.420 don't practice it on a regular basis your skill set diminishes and so can you get it back yeah you

00:43:32.000 you can get it back very easily do you know how you brush up on a skill set that you have diminished

00:43:37.940 you go practice all right so how can you put yourself in a position in today's day and age with

00:43:44.980 the technology that we have to have reps in terms of people skills well there's a number of things

00:43:50.860 you can do you can get a job where you have to talk to people every day retail jobs are great for this

00:43:55.560 okay but one thing that you could do without changing your job is something that i used to do

00:44:00.780 all the time i made a little exercise for myself uh which is actually part of live hard in phase three

00:44:07.420 where i made myself go into a grocery store and actually have conversations with people and so when i was

00:44:14.760 bad with people and i realized that i needed to improve what i would do is i would go to the

00:44:19.300 grocery store and i would force myself to have three conversations with total strangers these are not

00:44:24.020 conversations like hey nice shoes i'm talking about a conversation okay and three or four times you're

00:44:30.800 going to get shut down people are going to look away they're they're going to act weird and you have

00:44:35.220 to get through that that's the point okay and once you start to get back into the the zone of having

00:44:41.580 these reps where you talk to people you get used to it again you get good at it again and and the

00:44:46.760 problem that you're having dissipates so yeah dude you could definitely get that back um but you got

00:44:52.360 to put yourself in a position to take the reps actually a lot of studies have been done on this

00:44:56.960 and to encourage people to actually do it you're right that you will encounter people who are just

00:45:01.580 don't know how to handle you and and don't know what it's rarely personal though it's just they're

00:45:06.960 they're they're in the same boat that you're in they're like what are you doing talking to me 100%

00:45:10.900 but they've done all sorts of studies on this and the reality is is that most people are anxious about

00:45:16.580 opening up a conversation with a stranger but 90 to 95 percent of people who are surveyed say that they

00:45:24.600 are very open to responding to a stranger they just don't want to initiate it so that's good news for

00:45:30.220 anybody who wants to practice their skill set is that those people might not you know start the

00:45:35.700 conversation but they will engage in it but the other thing that i i find really interesting and

00:45:39.700 i just read this in a book called super communicators by charles duhigg is that most people really don't

00:45:45.340 want to do you know shallow um small talk they're fine if you launch into a serious conversation they're

00:45:53.300 fine if you launch into a deep topic and so you have the opportunity to not just strengthen your

00:45:59.560 skill set in terms of your people skills but you have the opportunity to get reps on how to really

00:46:05.100 build rapport with people how to go deep with them and i mean can you think of a better thing

00:46:09.860 that you need to be able to do to succeed in business and life no to be able to connect deeply

00:46:13.880 with another human being it's absolutely 100 essential yeah i feel like too you know even i mean

00:46:20.580 especially like this younger generation man there's a lot of things that i think have kind of just been

00:46:24.860 left out and and we cover a lot of this stuff on the other episodes you know but not going too deep

00:46:30.620 here but it's like even just simple stuff like a handshake man like how important a handshake is

00:46:35.860 dude i think we're in a situation and culture right now where a lot of people think that they

00:46:42.460 can get by without the people skills but what they don't realize and what you what you have to

00:46:47.560 understand is that understanding people is essential to sales even if you're doing it digitally

00:46:53.540 if you're a digital sales marketer and you don't have people skills you're going to be shitty at

00:46:59.600 marketing to people so having people skills is it's the foundation of all business success because

00:47:08.540 you can create a cash flow machine and you can create a funnel and sell a widget but how are you

00:47:16.040 going to market if you don't understand people if you don't understand their wants their needs their

00:47:20.860 desires their problems the only way you could do that is by talking to people and the person who

00:47:26.280 has people skills versus the person who doesn't is going to win exponentially bigger this is a big

00:47:32.480 reason why i'm successful in business and more successful than a lot of other people a lot of people that i

00:47:40.160 compete with did not have to do business pre-internet okay my first 10 years in business was in person

00:47:48.060 before social media before the internet really became what it is today so what did i learn during

00:47:55.660 that time i learned all these skills of how to deal with people how to talk to people how to go through

00:48:01.500 a sales process all of these things and when that translates into technology it makes you immensely

00:48:09.680 more powerful than any of your competitors that don't understand that so if you do have the people

00:48:14.900 skill set you have to understand most of your young colleagues and most of your young peers are

00:48:22.280 ignoring that skill set thinking that they can get around it and if you put the time into getting it

00:48:28.140 and you learn the skill sets that you'll crush them you'll run them the fuck over okay so having

00:48:35.660 great people skill and by the way this translates into who you're going to date or who you're going to

00:48:42.600 marry or who your friends are going to be like do you really want to create this little cash flow

00:48:48.480 funnel and you think that you're going to have all these high quality friends that's not how it works

00:48:52.880 bro i don't sit around with my wealthy friends and talk about bullshit we talk about real things we talk

00:48:58.960 about real business and you know what we talk about the most how to manage our businesses and you know

00:49:04.040 what that is that's people okay so if you don't have people skills or a deep understanding of people

00:49:10.920 not only will you not be as successful in business you won't be interesting and you won't have a great

00:49:16.980 friend circle all right because here's the truth of the high level people that you want to be around

00:49:21.500 they assume you are already making money that's no one cares like no one gives a fuck how much no one 0.75

00:49:27.000 in the wealthier circles sits around and talks about how much money they make they don't because

00:49:31.800 everybody has it so what do they talk about they talk about how to scale how to grow bigger what

00:49:38.840 new ideas how do we get people to do this how do we create that how do we put this initiative in play

00:49:44.380 how do we move people this direction how do we create our organization to be this those are the

00:49:49.500 things that are discussed that it's not taylor swift's new tour and the widget that you sold through

00:49:55.440 your click funnel no one fucking cares man so realize that even if you're a little bit successful 0.95

00:50:01.000 with your digital platform if you don't have people skills not only will you not be as good

00:50:05.880 as you could be you're going to get crushed by people who have it and by the way the people who

00:50:10.360 crush you that have it are going to have awesome relationships and awesome connections and a deeper

00:50:15.760 network which is going to make them even more formidable to compete with so if you're young

00:50:20.440 and you don't have people skills or you're an introvert and you don't have people skills i would

00:50:26.020 highly recommend making an intentional investment in developing those any way that you can because

00:50:33.500 it's becoming more and more rare which means it's more and more powerful i love it the young man

00:50:40.000 mentioned that just making that transition back from covet and virtual to in-person and real it you

00:50:46.040 know produces a lot of anxiety social anxiety and andy you've talked about before that a huge

00:50:50.900 way to overcome that is to do what you call auditing your intent yeah about that yeah well look dude if

00:50:59.080 you if you have the right intent it's really hard to mess up okay you know this is the the power of

00:51:06.080 intent is something that i've learned through the course of learning how to speak when i first started

00:51:12.340 speaking you know i was standing in front of eight people in one of my stores with a piece of paper in

00:51:16.680 my hand shaking like a leaf scared to death right now i go on stage in front of fucking it doesn't 0.97

00:51:22.280 matter how many people right and i'll go up there and crush it and people ask all the time they're

00:51:27.780 like well how do you do that how do you do that well it's very simple if you have the proper intent

00:51:32.880 i am here to serve i am here to help i am here to teach i am here to make sure that these people

00:51:39.220 walk out of this room better than they walked in the room that intent they can feel so what you say

00:51:46.460 and how you behave kind of gets lost and overshadowed by the intent that you have so it becomes very

00:51:54.320 difficult to fuck up when you have the proper intent about delivering some sort of benefit

00:52:00.100 and in the sales process or in the people process it's the same thing if your intent with a customer

00:52:06.760 is to help them solve the problem the best way that you can in a way that makes them say damn dude i

00:52:14.360 really enjoy doing business with these people if you have that intent my intent is not to sell you

00:52:19.980 my intent is to solve your problem you are going to make more money than everybody else because

00:52:25.200 everybody else is selling and you're helping and a lot of people think well that's just a creative

00:52:30.120 word switcheroo no it's a totally different thing because selling has one intent and helping has

00:52:36.000 another intent all right and people know the difference everybody knows do you know when you're

00:52:40.540 you're being sold 100 do you know when you're being sold do you guys listening know when you're

00:52:45.000 being sold you're all shaking your head yes and everybody knows so what's standing out to you when

00:52:50.820 you meet someone who doesn't sell you well it's their intent they fucking care they want to solve 0.91

00:52:56.400 my problem they were very helpful they didn't push me they made me feel good about what i'm doing

00:53:00.740 they were there for me post-sale very very important concepts for your company or your individual

00:53:07.000 position of being an entrepreneur so go ahead oh sorry i didn't mean to and on the issue of intent

00:53:13.380 and knowing when you're getting sold for me a clear indication that somebody is trying to sell me

00:53:18.940 rather than help me is that they're just talking yeah you just have a monologue they're not they're not

00:53:24.720 asking questions they're not listening they're not they have a they have a rehearsed yes they have a

00:53:30.000 rehearsed script script that they have said a million times hey sir thank you for coming in no no

00:53:36.940 no it's not like that that's not what it is it's a it's here's what it is this is what this is why

00:53:41.900 sales people get like that they start like that okay they start they don't know shit then they figure 0.96

00:53:47.940 out a little bit of stuff and they start to come up with like a little talk track hey steve how you

00:53:52.920 doing how's the family how's your kids oh your kids play soccer my kids play soccer and they have

00:53:58.480 this like cheese dick presentation that they think sounds really good but they don't realize that

00:54:05.820 they're not fooling anyone and so what it is is it's someone's it's a salesperson's own ego

00:54:11.780 thinking that they are smarter than the customer and they've had success with this talk track

00:54:17.200 getting in the way of actually actually listening actually communicating actually having a conversation

00:54:23.360 and dude anybody who's an experienced salesperson can see this immediately this happens a lot with

00:54:29.460 young salespeople young salespeople they think that they're so smart they think that they

00:54:35.000 understand more this person you're talking to has been on the earth just as long as you if not

00:54:40.660 longer do you think they've never been sold before do you think you're the first person to come up with

00:54:45.840 some sort of talk track that's hey steve how you doing man like with this fake enthusiasm that you do

00:54:54.020 like dude it's important to be enthusiastic but you should be enthusiastic with the right intent

00:54:57.960 hey vaughn dude listen man we're gonna get you where you're trying to go all right like this you

00:55:04.100 have to actually care it's not this fucking rehearsed talk track that's repeated 70 times a day because 0.92

00:55:10.580 you have so many calls to make and that's the difference between people who make a lot of money

00:55:14.960 and people who don't people who make a lot of money in sales in business they take the person in front of

00:55:21.520 them and they treat them like a human being they listen they respond appropriately they solve the

00:55:26.900 problem and they do so in a genuinely enthusiastic way because their intent is lined perfectly with

00:55:32.740 what this person is trying to get and so when we talk about like vaughn's mentioned a couple times on

00:55:38.740 this show helping people right changing people's lives like these are things that allow you if you think

00:55:46.840 about what it is that you do to have the right intent when you speak to someone your job like for example

00:55:53.460 my job with employees is to offer so much value that if they leave our company and they go somewhere else

00:56:02.460 they say dude i learned more working there than anywhere else that could have ever worked that's my intent

00:56:08.200 when i teach our employees it's not about just here it's about everywhere they go so if my intent is that

00:56:14.340 for them how do you think they feel about me you see what i'm saying now if i went in there and i said

00:56:19.720 just do this for this and this and this and this and this and this and i try to like teach them all

00:56:23.940 the hacks and the tricks and then this they're gonna walk out of there being like bro this is some

00:56:27.620 bullshit right i should be selling fucking home warranties or car warranties because it doesn't 0.95

00:56:32.800 this doesn't really mean anything you see what i'm saying so we have to fucking find that right balance 0.74

00:56:38.220 where's your intent how much do you actually care are you trying to solve the problem and then

00:56:44.320 by the way that doesn't just happen to the customer that's with your employees too what is your

00:56:49.580 intent for your employees is your intent to milk every ounce of productivity out of this person for

00:56:54.820 the cheapest possible amount of money or like most jobs or is your intent to put them through the

00:57:01.340 process of growth and let them understand that if they do this and learn this and apply these skills

00:57:06.280 and do so over time and they use the you know the the skill skill set effort plus time formula which is

00:57:13.560 what success that's all success is all success is how hard you work what kind of skills you have

00:57:18.560 and what kind of time you put in and if you if you teach people this and you teach them skills

00:57:22.900 they they love you for that because you actually give a fuck about them this is the same way with

00:57:28.200 friends it's the same way with employees it's the same way with customers it's just a way of life

00:57:33.500 that if you live is not only extremely fulfilling and rewarding but also highly profitable and a lot of

00:57:39.520 people in business they don't understand how much more business there is to get if they would just

00:57:46.740 look at it that way right like they're in business they're saying oh i'm doing well i'm making bro

00:57:51.840 if you're someone right now and you think i'm doing great this is bullshit all i got to do is keep doing

00:57:58.520 this dude you would probably make 10 times the amount of money if you could figure out how to implement

00:58:03.780 what it is i'm talking about that's the truth because now not only do people just come to you

00:58:09.620 they're out there telling people to go to you you see what i'm saying they become loyal they're not

00:58:14.440 just satisfied totally different thing absolutely i i'll be honest with you this kind of stuff is what

00:58:19.180 i'm super interested in this i uh this is my jam this is what i i try to become the best student

00:58:24.140 possible uh that i can on impacting people making a connection with people i love watching you over the

00:58:29.820 years how you connect with people knowing you're an introvert and yet being at summer smash seeing

00:58:34.100 how you're got the eye contact going got the the handshake got the asking the questions and for me

00:58:39.700 as i've observed and read and studied to me there's a difference between the thing that makes the

00:58:45.640 difference between average people who know how to communicate and connect and the elite level

00:58:50.140 connectors are the average people ask questions about facts and elite level people ask questions to build

00:58:56.760 friendship and i've i've kind of come up with a little acronym for me to help me remember is l-o-v-e

00:59:02.000 love what kind of questions should should you ask people ask them what they like ask them their opinion

00:59:07.480 ask them what they value ask them about their experiences don't just ask oh what do you do for

00:59:13.320 a living no ask hey what's what's the greatest thing about what you do what do you enjoy the most

00:59:18.220 or uh where are you from don't ask where you're from say what's what do you love the most about where

00:59:22.440 you're from you get people to ask questions or sorry you ask people questions that get them to

00:59:27.940 share what's inside of them what they value what they what what they've experienced what they like

00:59:33.560 all that stuff and that builds rapport that creates emotional connection which sounds a little foo-foo but

00:59:39.020 what i mean by that is it's it's it's what i've got an acronym for that yeah it's g a y

00:59:45.940 i'm just kidding bro i love it i love it i just had i just had no i i couldn't think of a witty

01:00:00.440 comeback for that i there you are hey no forget it um but you're really good at asking questions i

01:00:10.740 mean when we first met you were asking great questions and i was the one who was interviewing

01:00:14.140 me you right when we first met it when i was a um editor at a magazine but um i think that's

01:00:20.140 just showing genuine interest in people and not asking these canned questions like you were saying

01:00:25.260 these cheesedick questions that sales people ask and and really wanting to get to know people and to

01:00:30.040 value them and if you do that people are going to respond really well yeah they just are i'm just

01:00:36.440 teasing that was really no no no i know i know you were i'm used to it i'm not really teasing i love it

01:00:40.540 man guys andy vaughn that was three yeah man hey thanks for coming in on the show dude i i think

01:00:48.660 this is really relevant to a lot of the young guys and gals who are listening to this i think that

01:00:54.020 there's this idea that to be a charismatic really great people person um you have to be this super

01:01:02.200 eloquent speaker you have to be really polished it's just not true you have to be authentic to who you

01:01:08.420 are and i think that anybody who's ever had an experience like where they went into somewhere

01:01:13.160 and and maybe there was a um a person and they were really nervous and they weren't really uh you

01:01:18.800 know polished but you could tell that that person really wanted to help you like that makes all the

01:01:24.060 difference in the world so i don't want anybody thinking that to to be this great people person

01:01:29.040 you have to be super sophisticated and polished you don't i think you don't i think i think that's

01:01:33.740 such a myth bro that that actually handicasts people a lot because one it makes them not start

01:01:39.480 because they don't think they're polished enough or two they're so polished they don't connect

01:01:43.480 right million dollar smile yeah right right you know what i'm saying remember that guy yeah yeah

01:01:49.120 oh yeah so he's dead oh damn what he said he's dead oh is he you die let's get ready to smile

01:01:58.100 no what it was it i'm fired up that guy that guy passed away yeah he did oh he did he's dead

01:02:03.020 yeah all right i guess he's got the zero dollar smile huh hey look if you guys enjoyed today's show

01:02:09.960 remember we have the ms ceo project coming back now it's going to be on a private platform it's not

01:02:15.040 going to be on itunes it's not going to be on uh spotify so you're going to have to pay attention

01:02:20.520 for when it comes out we'll make sure that we hit you on the email blast if you're not on the email

01:02:24.560 list go on to andy for seller.com get subscribed to the andy gram i'll send you an email every day

01:02:30.680 i'm not going to spam you but i'm going to send you a motivational slash informational slash uh

01:02:36.120 positive information email that you're going to get every single morning it serves as my posts

01:02:41.760 sort of like what i used to do on instagram but it just comes through email so a lot of you guys are

01:02:46.440 like why don't you post dude i haven't missed a post in four or five years every single morning you

01:02:50.840 get one if you're on the email list and if you're on the email list um you know you'll know when the

01:02:56.160 ms ceo projects gets going too so i'm really looking forward to that these are some of my favorite types

01:03:00.600 of conversations uh you know i love talking about what's going on in the world and i love joking

01:03:05.320 around with you guys but at the end of the day the solution to what's happening here um is not just

01:03:11.880 awareness it's execution it's skill set and that's what we're working to build with you guys uh with

01:03:18.860 this new project that we're getting ready to launch so let me ask you a question yeah some of

01:03:24.360 your listeners might be wondering this uh why bring mfco back why not just have me on real af and and do

01:03:32.660 q a's like we're doing today because first of all i think we when we moved from doing mfco into doing

01:03:41.520 real af i saw a need okay and the need was there was not enough awareness to what was happening in the

01:03:47.920 world and because there was not enough awareness to what was happening in the world the soil that

01:03:52.780 allows us to grow our businesses out of was becoming infertile where we couldn't even have

01:03:59.480 the opportunities that i've been blessed enough to have and i recognize that i'm usually two or three

01:04:04.800 years ahead of what i see coming down the road and that comes from being an entrepreneur that comes

01:04:09.460 from me having to look down the tracks with my business to figure out what's going to happen so i can

01:04:14.660 anticipate that so i applied that to real af for the last four years four and a half years

01:04:21.200 and the awareness is there people have woken up they they understand their responsibility

01:04:26.340 they understand they have a responsibility to be great and i enjoy doing the ctis with dj we have a

01:04:32.900 good time it's it's more humor it's as much humor now as it is information and we have fun doing that

01:04:38.940 um but i've also recognized we're not going to stop doing that because it is fun but i recognize

01:04:44.700 that there's a very big need for tactical information again uh about teaching especially

01:04:50.500 young people how to win um you know the education system is failing we have a lot of parents out here

01:04:57.600 that don't know what to do with their kids and don't want to send their kids to a two hundred thousand

01:05:01.580 dollar university um and i think you know i have a duty to share with the the generation coming behind

01:05:10.560 me all the things that i've learned along the way and that's what we're going to do and we're going to

01:05:15.080 create a new version of you know personal development skill set practical skill set how to think how to

01:05:23.460 act what the skills are um that is you know in podcast format and we're going to bring back you know

01:05:29.760 what is the most successful entrepreneur podcast of all time and uh i'm looking forward to it me too

01:05:35.760 i enjoy the conversations like i genuinely i genuinely i don't always enjoy talking about

01:05:40.540 what's going on in the world because it drains me but when i have these conversations and i share like

01:05:45.220 you know what i've learned and and all these things i know it truly helps people because i hear

01:05:50.280 from you guys all the time and that's what we need i think we have a lot of people now that realize

01:05:54.940 like oh shit i can't just coast if i do just coast you know our country's gonna and our culture is 0.85

01:06:02.680 gonna be bad and i think we're in a situation where when we started doing the ms ceo we caught a lot of

01:06:08.980 people that just wanted to make money and be successful now with real af we've caught a lot

01:06:13.560 of people that understand they have an obligation to be the best they can to protect the country so we

01:06:19.120 have two different groups of people we have a group of people that wanted to be successful because

01:06:22.840 they want to be successful and then we have a group of people now who have figured out that they

01:06:26.820 have an obligation to be the best that they can possibly be and so now we're in a situation where

01:06:30.780 we need to start teaching those skill sets and the the reality is is i'm a different human and i think

01:06:36.060 differently even though a lot of the lessons are practically going to be similar there's a whole

01:06:40.760 lot of new perspective that i've had since we stopped that podcast i'm a much better operator i'm

01:06:46.440 way way more intelligent in business i'm way more educated in different levels of business because

01:06:51.480 since then our company has grown exponentially um so there's a lot of new information and there's a

01:06:57.240 lot of new things and i think when we really talk about personal excellence being the ultimate rebellion

01:07:02.840 we we you and me have to put our efforts towards actually cultivating uh this next generation of

01:07:10.360 leaders and winners and and that's that's you ask why that's why yeah well personal excellence is the

01:07:16.200 ultimate rebellion and in my opinion uh excellence in business and life is the ultimate form of

01:07:21.720 patriotism yeah yeah and well and also um i think it honors the creator pretty well 100 you know what's

01:07:30.120 your feelings on that we talk about that a lot yeah we talked about that yeah i mean i think uh

01:07:34.520 the greatest thing you can do um as an act of worship to god is to become who you were meant to be

01:07:41.400 yeah and to fulfill your potential and to do everything you can to maximize the time you're

01:07:47.720 on earth the treasure that you've been given the talent you've been given um and to turn every

01:07:52.840 opportunity into a win yeah um i think that's that's very honoring god yeah i agree so that's why and

01:08:01.960 we've been working on it we've been working on this project for almost two years guys so we're very

01:08:07.240 very very excited to get it launched for you guys uh very very soon so keep an eye out for that email

01:08:13.160 we'll also talk about it here on real af and we'll let you guys know um but dude thanks for coming in

01:08:19.560 and being on the show bro oh you bet appreciate you man yeah i appreciate you all right guys dj huh

01:08:24.680 i appreciate dj too appreciate you he's got more melon in my let's go to the pool let's go to the pool

01:08:29.960 it's raining we gotta go in the pool and cry it's raining though yeah what did you used to call that

01:08:34.600 that rubbing dicks together tummy sticks is that a new sword fighting sword fighting battle dicks 0.85

01:08:40.840 battle dicks that's for the ogs out there that's right there's lots of names for it there's a few

01:08:46.440 things out there we could use i like to play battle dicks that's my favorite one they're in the drawer

01:08:51.480 yeah you know we can do something yeah all right guys you got anything else that's all i got man all

01:08:59.160 right all right that was three all right guys uh go pay the fee

01:09:03.960 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze

01:09:07.400 fuck a bowl fucker stole counted millions in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bank road 1.00

01:09:14.040 can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 11, 2024

740. Q&AF： Passion Past Early Stages Of Business, Stopping Negative Thoughts & Fixing Social Awkwardness

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 11, 2024

740. Q&#x26;AF： Passion Past Early Stages Of Business, Stopping Negative Thoughts &#x26; Fixing Social Awkwardness

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

740. Q&AF： Passion Past Early Stages Of Business, Stopping Negative Thoughts & Fixing Social Awkwardness