REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 743. Q&AF： Jealousy In Family Business, The Idea Of "Obsession" & Initiating Change For Yourself

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy brucella and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies 0.98

00:00:21.080 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys as 0.80

00:00:26.140 always we start off monday with uh q and a f that's because we're going to start off this week

00:00:30.900 getting better now if you'd like to submit questions to be answered on q and a f you could

00:00:35.660 submit them a couple different ways the first way is you guys email these questions into ask

00:00:40.600 andy at andy for seller.com or you go on youtube on the q and a f episodes and drop your question

00:00:46.560 in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well now we have shows within the show okay

00:00:52.140 when you tune in here depending on what day it is you're going to get different things we're always

00:00:55.860 getting new listeners so i want to explain this to you real quick tomorrow we're going to have cti

00:01:00.540 that stands for cruise the internet today we're going to answer questions we're going to talk

00:01:05.020 about how to get better we're going to talk about how to kick ass we're going to talk about how to 0.85

00:01:08.780 make money and be a strong independent human being especially an american tomorrow we're going to have 0.79

00:01:17.280 cti which is cruise the internet which is where we put topics on the screen we talk about what's going

00:01:22.120 on in the world and then we speculate on what's true what's not true and then we talk about how we

00:01:26.800 us the people have to solve these problems going on in the world all right other times we're going

00:01:32.640 to have real talk real talk just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk and then sometimes

00:01:37.200 we're going to have 75 hard verses 75 hard verses is where people who have completed the 75 hard program

00:01:43.800 come on the show tell their story talk about how they were before 75 are how they use 75 hard to

00:01:51.100 reclaim their life and how you could do the same now if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the initial

00:01:56.640 phase of the live hard program which is available for free at episode 208 it is the world's most famous

00:02:04.120 mental transformation program in history and it's free you can get it at episode 208 on the audio feed

00:02:11.140 it's not on youtube it's on the audio feed only now there is a book it's called the book on mental

00:02:17.620 toughness which covers the entire live hard program plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness

00:02:22.640 why it's important how you how to utilize it to make your life better you can get that book at

00:02:27.500 andy versella.com the book on mental toughness it's not required but for the people who want to know the

00:02:32.880 ins and outs and all the details i think it's a great book we sell out of it all the time so if you

00:02:37.100 want that book go to andy versella.com now we do have a fee for the show you're going to notice we

00:02:42.120 don't run ads on the show um i don't want to answer to someone telling me what i can and can't say

00:02:47.700 and uh that's pretty much it we talk about the things that you're not supposed to talk about

00:02:54.080 constantly dealing with shadow bans and traffic throttles and all this censorship stuff that's

00:02:58.940 going on these days uh so i ask very simply since i'm not going to fill your ears full of ads

00:03:04.520 do me a solid man share the show help us get the word out all right uh if it makes you think if it

00:03:10.920 makes you laugh it gives you a new perspective it helps you get better if it's something you think

00:03:14.560 people need to hear do us a solid share the show all right so don't be a hoe share the show 1.00

00:03:20.320 all right what's up dude what's gucci my everything you're what my head

00:03:25.220 everything's good i see you got your pesante your aqua pesante over there yeah i do have it um

00:03:37.080 i mean i'm kind of scared to drink it i think we know we you know i know we say we don't do ads

00:03:42.900 but you know we actually just signed them as our first official sponsor yeah aqua pesante

00:03:47.120 aqua pesante from the freshest pipes in flint michigan yes you guys can um

00:03:52.220 get some pesante we're all about causes here right and we we choose to support things that

00:03:59.120 matter and um you know flint michigan has had its problems with water before we know this

00:04:08.300 so we decided to uh you know partner with pesante aqua aqua pesante to uh bring back the reputation

00:04:16.760 of flint michigan's tap water i think it's a great cause yep yeah i'm very proud of you for

00:04:22.180 being sponsored by aqua pesante drink it aqua pesante available right out of your tap in flint michigan

00:04:28.640 hey lay

00:04:33.540 what's up first official one man i felt good yeah you're looking i'm paying us for that one you're

00:04:41.880 looking a little pesante aqua pesante i love the water for winners yeah it's all i drink is pesante

00:04:49.820 water all the time that's right

00:04:51.380 yep 1.00

00:04:54.840 is that really how that feels though yeah that's what these motherfuckers do bro they take they take 1.00

00:05:03.280 money from companies and then they stand on there and they're like oh aqua pesante i drink this and 0.99

00:05:08.280 then they pull out their fiji water or whatever it is it's like dude what are we doing here i drink it

00:05:13.780 all the time yeah every day especially when i'm feeling too bougie i drink it to just to realign me

00:05:20.300 back to bring me humble that's right it's humble water humility humble water very important got to

00:05:25.660 be humble don't shine too much yeah yeah man um sweet it is uh it is q a uh obviously we're here to

00:05:34.140 make people better and hydrated with pesante water okay aqua pesante they're paying you man

00:05:41.460 sorry guys i apologize paying you in water um let's make some people better let's do it let's

00:05:48.100 let's do it guys andy i got three good ones the first thing you can do to get better is to get

00:05:52.680 yourself a nice cold bottle of aqua pesante you know it just rolls off your tongue guys i used to

00:05:59.840 have a hard time reading uh the questions and headlines and outlines but ever since i've

00:06:04.920 started drinking pesante aqua pesante water stuff just flows off my tongue like they flow out the

00:06:10.620 pipes of flip michigan that's not bad it wasn't bad yeah that's good all right guys andy question

00:06:20.300 number one uh andy and dj man i need some help with the situation my company uh was recently acquired

00:06:28.580 by a family owned and operated company in eight short months our new ceo has placed his two sons

00:06:36.880 in high level leadership roles one a 23 year old guy is now a leader in business development and the

00:06:43.920 other a 28 year old guy is the director of operations at one of our facilities granted i'm only 35 i've also

00:06:52.060 clawed my way from being a temporary employee making seven dollars an hour to a professional in the

00:06:57.640 business side of our organization over the course of 15 years here's my conundrum i feel a little

00:07:03.480 jealousy uh that these two guys who have no experience in our industry were awarded very

00:07:10.000 respectable positions without the positions being posted i respect the ceo but not his decision how 0.68

00:07:16.500 do i get over this shit and just move on anything is appreciated thanks for everything you guys do 0.57

00:07:21.540 well you could go start your own company and work at it for a couple decades and then you can hire 0.97

00:07:26.980 whoever the fuck you feel like hiring how about that okay like you didn't build the company you 0.95

00:07:33.040 don't get to make those decisions because you didn't take the risk and you didn't make the investment 0.99

00:07:36.560 and while i think that's probably a poor business move on his part to put unqualified people in a

00:07:42.120 position of power and authority and important positions strategically for your company that aren't

00:07:48.160 qualified that's a bad chess move doesn't matter if they're your brother doesn't matter if they're your

00:07:52.140 son doesn't matter if it's whoever it's just not good business so um that's his right to make those 0.99

00:07:58.760 decisions and i think it's probably pretty stupid uh and you probably think it's pretty stupid so what 0.99

00:08:04.480 can you do well nothing okay uh you're not related to the guy and you know i i don't know man like i don't 1.00

00:08:16.040 know why this would bother you why why do you fucking care like aren't you worried about your performance 0.93

00:08:20.820 the only way that this would bother me is if i was losing because of someone else being put in 0.98

00:08:28.100 front of me that wasn't qualified and if that's the case then maybe you should look for a different

00:08:33.760 career maybe you should go to a different place that's not going to have nepotism issues or family

00:08:39.940 business issues but i can tell you this you're going to have that you're going to have drawbacks

00:08:43.220 there as well you know in family businesses they tend to care about their employees a lot more than

00:08:47.480 people who don't um sometimes things like this happen and they're not received well and people

00:08:53.020 get pissed off but the reality is is if you're focused on yourself and you're focused on how good

00:08:57.540 you are you should shine head and shoulders above them if you've been doing this for so long and if

00:09:02.320 you had to claw your way into the position that you're in shouldn't it be easy for you to show why

00:09:07.300 you're better than they are you know i would put that on full display through your performance

00:09:12.000 dude look man here's the deal too many of you guys waste way too much time worried about what's

00:09:17.100 going on with other people and yeah i understand it can make you jealous and yeah i understand it 0.92

00:09:21.260 piss you off and yeah i can understand that it ain't fair but guess what life is not fucking fair 0.98

00:09:27.260 and you all worry about this like it is you're you're expecting something that will never be it will 0.99

00:09:33.500 never be fair it will never ever ever ever ever be fair ever now what are you going to sit on the

00:09:40.960 sideline and cry about how it's not fair are you going to write emails into the show and say

00:09:45.700 andy this isn't fair what should i do or are you going to say well it's not fair it's my job to be

00:09:52.080 undeniably great at what i do because if i'm undeniably great at what i do then it doesn't

00:09:57.180 really matter if they recognize me here because they'll recognize me in other places if that's what

00:10:01.660 i need to do as well and so many people spend so much time worried about what other people are doing

00:10:07.520 that they never become great at what they do and so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy

00:10:12.180 and the nepotism and the brother or the son or whoever's ahead of you stays ahead of you because

00:10:17.180 you're so worried about what that person's doing and not worried at all about developing your own

00:10:22.160 skill set and this is what holds so many people back so if i were you i would have a come to jesus 0.74

00:10:27.600 myself and say this well it's not fucking fair so how do i make it as fair as possible for me well 0.90

00:10:35.060 you make it as fair as possible for you by being great at what you do and that takes you not looking 0.62

00:10:40.660 at them but looking at what it is that you do how good you actually are and making the adjustments to

00:10:46.400 be great from the position that you are currently in and if everybody did this your career and your

00:10:52.320 life and everything else would go much better and it would go much faster but you know it doesn't it

00:10:59.580 doesn't always happen like that you know employees look at other employees or and they they say oh that

00:11:03.940 that guy got this and that guy got that like two little kids like oh that guy got an extra half 1.00

00:11:08.940 scoop of ice cream on my fucking ice cream cone you sound like a bunch of fucking communists bro 0.99

00:11:13.400 not everybody's going to get the same because not everybody's value the same and guess what 1.00

00:11:17.740 because those are that man's sons they are going to be more valuable to him than you are

00:11:22.920 that's reality dude they don't know you yeah he knows his sons yes yeah like dude what do you

00:11:28.660 i can understand you could be a little upset about that i can understand that it that it irritates

00:11:34.380 you but at the end of the day it's reality dude and you have to come to terms with it and whatever

00:11:40.940 hardships or whatever frustrations or walls or boundaries that come in front of you it's your job to 0.95

00:11:49.300 fucking run through those okay and that's not going to happen because you're complaining about joe over 0.97

00:11:54.380 here getting preferential treatment because he's this dude's son so if i were you i would stop 0.99

00:12:00.840 focusing any energy on them and focus on what you can do and focus on how you could get better and if

00:12:05.840 that's not rewarded it will be rewarded somewhere else yeah i love that man it's like it's like

00:12:09.780 you know i think about like and and i'm sure you know this better than i do man but it's like

00:12:14.680 you know champion winners you're running the race very rarely will you see the guy running in first

00:12:19.660 place look behind and see where everybody else is in the race very rarely and when they do they

00:12:25.020 typically always get caught they listen people coming behind winners focus on winning losers focus

00:12:30.160 on winners yeah that's reality and dude this is something that people just can't get through their

00:12:35.240 head they want everything to be fucking fair it is not ever going to be fair ever there are going to

00:12:41.760 be people that are better looking than you they're going to be people that have better genetics than you 0.93

00:12:45.340 they're gonna be people that are smarter than you they're gonna have people that have no money than

00:12:49.120 you or grew up in a better family or have more advantages or have more opportunities so what

00:12:54.520 okay it's your job to assess where are you and then take the action to get where you want to go

00:13:02.360 regardless of where you start regardless of where someone else starts and so many people tell

00:13:07.280 themselves this ridiculous story about all these advantages that other people have when in reality

00:13:13.240 a lot of times these people didn't even have those advantages so it becomes a self-victimizing

00:13:19.060 story that people tell i can't get ahead because the two bosses sons are in charge of everything

00:13:24.360 or this place sucked then quit they go work somewhere else bro but i bet you a hundred bucks 0.99

00:13:30.620 you're gonna go over to the other place you're gonna find some fucking problem over there 0.99

00:13:34.320 that's the same exact deal over here that guy's got this that guy got that that guy got this bro 1.00

00:13:41.120 that's loser shit winner tom brady that didn't at the last whatever he was the six round pick or 1.00

00:13:47.740 whatever right he didn't sit on the fucking sidelines of the game and say fuck it's not 1.00

00:13:53.160 fair that drew blood so is getting to play it's not fair that you know so and so is getting all 1.00

00:13:58.140 this credit it's not no he said fuck i'm gonna fucking put the work in i'm gonna become great i'm 0.98

00:14:04.260 gonna worry about myself i'm gonna take more reps i'm gonna spend more time in film i'm gonna spend 0.98

00:14:09.360 more time in the weight room i'm going to get better and you know what happened he becomes the

00:14:13.820 greatest of all time because he's not looking over here and he's not looking over there he's

00:14:19.040 looking right in front of him to what he could control to improve his situation and guess what

00:14:25.220 that works for everybody but we spend so much time looking over here and looking over there

00:14:30.600 and what if and what if i do that and you know these are there's a different circumstance we make

00:14:35.580 all these excuses instead of just buckling down and saying i am going to become great at this

00:14:41.500 and whatever happens as a result of that is what happens and i can tell you that the result of

00:14:47.200 becoming great at anything is always good it's never you don't go backwards there's no one who 0.96

00:14:52.040 ever you know had some natural ability in the nfl that focused on the shit they had to do in front 0.97

00:14:58.020 of them that had a shitty career it's not happened bro maybe they get hurt and they tear their knee up 0.91

00:15:03.200 or something but dude not fair yeah right it's not fair it's never gonna be fair bro i love that man

00:15:08.500 let me let me ask you this too because you know you you obviously 25 years in business you've met

00:15:13.400 a lot of different uh owners leaders in their fields and industries and the companies this this

00:15:19.860 concept i want to touch on this and this concept of you know this bringing in family members or

00:15:24.400 whatever the case is right like you said you know this was not a good decision for people that look

00:15:29.180 at you know your companies or don't take a look at first one for example sal he's your brother

00:15:33.640 yeah he grew up with them yeah but sal had experience before sal was the number one salesman

00:15:38.860 sal was the number one salesman at his previous a place of employment which was a global

00:15:45.080 company for two years in a row number one in the world sal's extremely smart he's an extremely

00:15:53.280 good operator he's extremely good with people and with sales and he's qualified there's nobody

00:16:00.160 there was nobody more qualified to do that job nobody yeah he just happened to be my brother

00:16:06.420 so so what's your advice to business owners that are considering bringing in make sure they

00:16:11.120 look it's the same advice i give people when it comes to business partners a lot of people want to

00:16:16.380 do business with their friends because they think it's going to be fun to do business with their

00:16:19.560 friends but they stop to ask themselves is there a benefit to me doing business with this friend

00:16:24.400 or is it just something that i want to do and you should ask like what does this person bring

00:16:29.500 do they bring anything do they bring a different skill set than i have do they bring money do they

00:16:35.460 bring connections what do they bring if they just bring being your friend that's not enough to partner

00:16:40.080 with them and the same goes for hiring them if it's just your family member and they don't bring a skill

00:16:45.420 set you you shouldn't put them in the game bro we're trying to win here this is like hey would i would 0.98

00:16:51.100 i send my brother out on the on the field and the fucking super bowl if he's not fucking good enough to 0.99

00:16:55.980 play yeah that's the seriousness of the game that we play in entrepreneurship other people are putting 0.99

00:17:01.720 the best people in the position and you're putting your fucking brother because he's your brother that 0.98

00:17:06.200 doesn't make sense are you putting your friend because he's your friend those companies lose or at 0.99

00:17:10.960 the very least they just sort of flounder out there you know to win you got to put the best people in

00:17:17.000 the best positions to win and that's why i said it's not a good idea most of the time now if those two

00:17:21.760 sons let's maybe there's context left off of that question maybe those two there is well i'm just

00:17:27.940 saying maybe those two sons come from maybe the 29 year old comes from another company where he was

00:17:33.780 kicking ass you see what i'm saying maybe the 23 year old has some other quality who knows maybe he 0.92

00:17:40.360 knows something about technology that you don't know we don't know the full context there so and 0.99

00:17:45.860 that's another thing people do they like to tell half the story about why it's not fair right

00:17:50.500 oh so and so got this position well is he better than you well yeah but well that's a big piece to

00:17:56.320 leave out bro yeah yeah man so i mean dude look um i have very little tolerance for even 0.99

00:18:04.360 question for questions like this because i think it's bitch shit uh you need to worry about yourself 1.00

00:18:10.200 you need to worry about getting better for yourself you need to not worry about what so and so has or 0.99

00:18:15.300 what offer they got bro everything evens out in the end everything evens out

00:18:20.120 easy come easy go if you if you really had to work and build those skills and those those younger

00:18:26.700 guys don't have the skills it's going to become apparent okay so just wait the truth always comes

00:18:33.300 out the truth always materializes about people's real skill set and their real value during that time

00:18:39.660 instead of sitting here watching them waiting for it to fail you should figure out like how i'm

00:18:43.020 going to get so much better that it's obvious that whenever these guys mess up it's my job to be in

00:18:47.520 that position that's how i would look at it i love it or i would go somewhere where i was valued

00:18:51.980 you know but i i really think that you know most of the time when people say things like this they

00:18:57.760 find problems anywhere they go grass is going to be green where you are yeah yeah i love it man

00:19:02.320 i love it guys andy question number two hey andy how do you feel about this idea of being quote

00:19:11.520 unquote obsessed uh i feel like it gets overused by a lot of people can you give me some insight

00:19:19.240 into what being obsessed should actually look like what does real obsession mean i would be willing

00:19:26.520 to bet that the person who asked this question loses a lot okay and i'm going to explain why

00:19:35.400 you have to this idea of entrepreneurship all right we're talking in the context of entrepreneurship

00:19:44.000 this idea of entrepreneurship has been glorified and built up to be this thing that everybody thinks

00:19:53.940 they can do everybody thinks they can just be an entrepreneur because we have all these people

00:19:59.580 on the internet that say they're an entrepreneur and post all these lies about how much money they're

00:20:05.180 making how many followers they have how you know they're buying engagement they're creating a facade 0.99

00:20:10.900 that people believe and they're trying to present the best possible story guys this is bullshit okay 0.98

00:20:19.560 real entrepreneurship is the most competitive game that a human being can play all right it's more 0.99

00:20:27.440 competitive than baseball it is more competitive than football it is more competitive than soccer

00:20:32.800 it's more competitive than fucking anything it's literally live or die economically like it is the most 0.99

00:20:39.580 cutthroat savage real fucking shit that you could ever do and if you aren't built that way you're just 0.99

00:20:47.640 going to be another notch on someone else's wall when they fucking crush you okay to win in this game 1.00

00:20:54.680 when you look at like high level athletes like the play you know they maybe they win the heisman or 0.98

00:21:01.260 they're an all-american or they're an all-pro or an all-star player these people dedicate their entire

00:21:09.040 lives to becoming that everything when they wake up in the morning everything they do throughout the

00:21:16.940 day is dedicated towards this one thing outside of maybe a couple other things they got to do to live 0.78

00:21:21.980 right maybe they spend an hour with their kids or whatever but they usually don't and people bitch 1.00

00:21:27.300 they say oh well there's no balance no shit because that's what it takes to be great at shit 1.00

00:21:31.040 so when i hear this shit like the people say about you know oh everybody's out of balance or you know 1.00

00:21:38.660 do you really have to be obsessed the answer is yes and if you're not obsessed you will lose and it's not 0.99

00:21:44.960 overblown i think it's understated i think the amount of obsession dedication it takes to build a

00:21:50.800 real company is understated not overstated i think most people have zero clue what it's actually like

00:22:00.080 or what it actually takes to become a success in the game of entrepreneurship they believe that

00:22:06.580 entrepreneurship is about freedom they believe entrepreneurship is about being your own boss

00:22:11.920 they believe entrepreneurship is about owning some cool cars and traveling the world and working from 1.00

00:22:17.740 anywhere just like all these morons fucking tell you and it's not okay it's it's not freedom and 1.00

00:22:23.520 you're not your own boss guess who's the boss the customer is the boss okay guess how long it took me 1.00

00:22:29.000 to buy an ice car took me 11 years all right and by the way i've got a more real business than any of 1.00

00:22:35.500 these fuckers that tell you this shit any single one of them let me see their place let's see the 0.99

00:22:40.880 product let's see it ordered let's let's go look through their portfolio of companies and let's see 1.00

00:22:46.160 where they stand up okay a lot of this is smoke and mirror shit a lot of it how many of these guys 0.99

00:22:53.000 own an uh an international brand that people recognize when you walk down the street fucking 1.00

00:22:58.340 none of them and they all tell you the same shit oh you know balance oh this is you know i work from 1.00

00:23:04.460 here or i do this or i do that bro it's a lie so do you have to be obsessed yes you have to wake up 0.99

00:23:11.820 every single day and basically work for a long time to develop the skills that you're looking to

00:23:20.900 create to be competitive at this and then after you develop the skills you have to understand that

00:23:26.860 there's other people out there with the skills already who have had the skills for 20 years that

00:23:30.900 use the skills better than you so it never gets easier in the beginning you're developing the skills 0.99

00:23:36.120 and it feels super hard but then when you actually get to the game you're competing as motherfuckers 0.64

00:23:40.540 have had the skills for 20 years and you just learned them so now you got to try hard again like there's

00:23:46.300 never a place where this gets easy there's never a place where you can coast there's never a place where

00:23:54.900 you get to like take your your your foot off the gas and and and just live your life that's not what 0.98

00:24:00.740 you signed up for and all this shit you read on the internet all this shit about balance all this 0.99

00:24:06.480 shit about happiness all this all that is written for other people that is not written for high level 0.99

00:24:12.580 performers in the game of entrepreneurship okay so a lot of you guys i'm just being fucking real with 0.99

00:24:19.180 you a lot of you guys need to forget the idea of even being an entrepreneur because you're not 0.93

00:24:23.080 fucking built for it you're just not and i could get on here and i could say well you know everybody 0.99

00:24:28.740 can do this buy my shit but i'm not gonna lie to you because i don't want you to waste five years 1.00

00:24:33.480 of your life and then be like oh well it didn't work out for me it didn't work out for you because 0.99

00:24:37.640 you're not willing to do what it takes because you believe the internet instead of what reality

00:24:41.840 really really is you know my mess it's hard for me to sell that message how do i sell a message like 0.97

00:24:48.100 this hey it's going to be hard as fuck it'll be the hardest thing you ever did it's going to take 0.96

00:24:52.660 longer than you think it's going to take actually it's going to take 10 times longer you're going to lose 0.98

00:24:56.380 all your friends you're going to lose girlfriends you're going to lose boyfriends you're going to

00:25:00.180 lose uh you know all kinds of time that you could have spent doing things with your friends you're

00:25:05.800 going to have to give up weekends you're going to have to do this for 20 years how do you sell that

00:25:10.220 to people how's that does that sound cool it doesn't sound fucking cool but nobody and the reason 0.99

00:25:16.300 nobody tells you that is because one none of these motherfuckers have built anything and number two 0.97

00:25:21.180 they can't sell it okay so that's the reality yes you have to be obsessed yes everything you do 0.99

00:25:28.640 should be geared towards becoming the person that you need to become to operate the way you want to

00:25:34.320 operate and you know it's the most competitive game in the world and that's why i cringe when i see all

00:25:40.680 these people to say oh i'm not competing with anyone i'm just trying to do dude you're going to get

00:25:46.460 killed you know and i don't know how to say this any simpler like it's it's cutthroat it's kill or be 0.89

00:25:52.560 killed and if you're not obsessed on becoming the best possible version of yourself and building the 0.97

00:25:57.920 best possible operation that you can possibly build you're going to get beat and that's just reality

00:26:05.280 dude let me ask you this did you know did you know that reality when you first started at 19 or was 0.94

00:26:11.540 there like a was there a moment no that's why the first 10 years bro i fucking coasted through and 0.97

00:26:17.340 got my balls kicked in i thought it took way less than what it actually took and when i finally got 0.93

00:26:22.940 sick of it and i finally realized that i wanted to do this and i finally like put it all together in my 0.98

00:26:28.000 head that's when shit changed that's when we went from you know not making any money to making a lot 0.87

00:26:33.540 of money that's when our business went from flatline growth to growing like crazy it's it's just an 0.97

00:26:38.840 acceptance of reality dude how can you compete on the same soccer team as a guy who practices

00:26:46.620 six hours a day when you're not practicing but you know 30 minutes a day how are you going to compete

00:26:52.480 with that are you that good yeah it's arrogance dude it's it's an overestimation of one's own

00:26:58.380 abilities with combined with a misunderstanding of what it actually takes so when you overestimate

00:27:06.300 your own abilities and then you underestimate how hard it is you're setting yourself up for failure

00:27:11.760 every single time and that's the problem with instagram and internet entrepreneurship is it sets

00:27:17.920 people up for a false expectation of what it's actually going to take and how good you actually

00:27:24.000 need to be and for that reason they fail and then they believe that you know oh i just don't have

00:27:29.580 what it takes well you might have what it takes if you understood what it actually takes maybe you're 1.00

00:27:35.140 willing to do that but because you consume content from a bunch of fucking idiots have never built a 1.00

00:27:40.160 motherfucking thing your mind is warped to reality and so when someone like me comes along and says 1.00

00:27:45.860 you got to do this this this this this you're shit right now and you got to become not shitty 1.00

00:27:49.840 and become great and it's going to take you years to do you don't like hearing that shit you'd rather 1.00

00:27:54.460 go listen to some idiot who tells you oh well all you got to do is do this and this and this and 1.00

00:28:00.060 dude and you you make money for six months and then you're out of business and your reputation's 1.00

00:28:04.880 ruined your name's ruined your brand's ruined and nobody wants to do shit with you so you know yeah 0.99

00:28:10.380 it's fucking yeah you have to be obsessed and not even a little obsessed it has to be the focus of 0.99

00:28:14.740 your entire life that's the reality and for entrepreneurs that want to make a lot of money 0.98

00:28:19.360 that answer is the same you if you think that you're going to have balance and you're going to 0.75

00:28:24.320 fucking you know someday make you know a million dollars a year whatever you think you're going to make 0.91

00:28:29.920 which by the way that's what you need to make to live in the kind of house that some of you guys 0.98

00:28:33.120 want to live in if you think you're going to get that by showing up to work and work until five

00:28:38.760 o'clock and not putting in time to become better and not like becoming obsessed with your own

00:28:44.180 development you're you're delusional it's just what it takes so you know i i didn't make the rules 0.98

00:28:51.320 of the game but that is the game and you can argue with me all day you could fucking say oh andy 0.98

00:28:57.040 you're talking the old ways now i'm talking the only way you just don't get it yet

00:29:01.660 guys andy let's get to our third or final question uh question number three man uh real quick do we

00:29:10.720 need another word from our sponsor are you cracked up is that our other one oh no this is uh this is

00:29:15.780 royale oh tell me about that one yeah so this is uh this is royale af uh this is a little bit

00:29:23.540 different than aqua bizante sure yeah this is uh like the european version so this comes from the

00:29:29.940 uh you know corroded pipes of sicily um thousand year old aqueducts that are rich with iron and

00:29:39.860 vitamins and you know other contaminants um and the idea is is that you want to drink most of these

00:29:48.240 contaminants because it makes your immune system better you know like you know if you're in a sterile

00:29:53.240 environment you don't put anything bad in your body your immune system goes away so that's why i

00:29:58.100 chose to work with these guys yeah pesante's listen i mean there is nothing on this planet

00:30:03.940 the taste is good

00:30:08.540 i drank royale af it cured everything it cured all my inflammation i i'm smarter i'm faster i'm 0.99

00:30:24.920 stronger my penis is longer and more more round girthy it is sicilian 0.99

00:30:31.600 you can't ask me that off the top of my head bro i got it bro you got it no man that was weak 1.00

00:30:47.000 pesante is such a superior product i mean listen you know good better best man it's all right

00:30:53.140 aqua pesante i got stuck with this royale af luxury real af h2o i love it

00:31:00.520 what's it say here ingredients water warning drinking might cause you to be a realist

00:31:08.520 warning drinking will turn you into a pesante yeah it's good it's good you know what i'm saying 0.98

00:31:16.780 on that last bro these people don't understand because they not look dude when you fucking when 0.99

00:31:21.820 you when you're at the bottom most of you guys are at the bottom of fucking mount everest let's just be 0.98

00:31:25.800 fucking real you have these big goals these big dreams these big aspirations for yourself 0.99

00:31:30.080 and you see motherfuckers up there at the top and you're like well i wonder how much how hard you got 1.00

00:31:35.460 to work to be at the top and the guy at the top is like fuck that took everything i got bro and 0.99

00:31:40.120 i'm smart and i've been doing this for 10 years and that took everything i got and the guy at the 0.99

00:31:46.440 bottom is like fuck dude i'll go take a nap i'll chill it'll work you know i could just and that's 0.99

00:31:50.560 that's the misunderstanding dude take me two days to get to the top yeah it's a misunderstanding and 0.99

00:31:54.740 it's because of this predatory entrepreneurship culture on the internet right all these stories

00:32:00.680 of these people who you know make a few dollars like dude the fake it till you make it culture

00:32:06.280 right i'm gonna buy a nice car i'm gonna stand in front of it then i'm gonna tell you how much

00:32:10.040 money i made and then i'm gonna sell you this program to tell you how much money i made but in

00:32:14.480 reality i made the money selling you the program telling you how much money i made that's the

00:32:18.300 entrepreneurship culture in a nutshell and that's the reason that people can't understand how hard 0.97

00:32:22.660 it actually is to build something that has an equitable back end exit which is what the fuck

00:32:27.260 you want you're not in this for just cash flow dude you're in this for an equitable return on your time

00:32:33.660 investment so you're going to get paid during the time you do it and then when you're ready to be

00:32:38.280 done you have a big huge asset that you could sell and that's what entrepreneurship's about it's not

00:32:44.420 just about cash flow bro you know yeah that ain't it man i love it and then if it is about cash flow

00:32:50.220 you got to figure out how to invest properly which is hard too because there's a million trillion

00:32:54.220 investors that are more hooked up and better than you and faster than you and more funded than you

00:32:59.500 and have better relationships than you so like you don't think you have to become good at that

00:33:03.820 like bro here's the bottom line you have to be great if you are not great you won't win

00:33:11.180 so whatever it takes for you to be great whether you call that obsession or dedication or discipline 0.99

00:33:16.000 it doesn't fucking matter what matters is is that you go from where the fuck you are 1.00

00:33:20.360 to where you need to be to win and that is it so call it whatever you want but it's hard as fuck and 0.98

00:33:25.440 it takes everything you got love it love it guys andy uh question number three uh hi andy and dj my 0.92

00:33:33.460 question is simple andy do do people really change i'm 35 years old and i've spent a big chunk of my

00:33:40.220 life being selfish and just all around not being a good person i'm an addict an alcoholic i've been

00:33:46.540 sober for three months and i'm trying to do better doing 75 hard i got a good job recently i want to

00:33:52.460 be a better person um but you hear all the time that people don't really change so i guess i'm worried

00:33:58.640 that i'll end up going back to being the person because that's the person i've always been uh thanks

00:34:03.880 again for all you guys do andy do people really change what's your what's your take on that 0.92

00:34:07.360 well yeah but you got to really want to change bro at 36 years old i was 350 fucking pounds i 0.97

00:34:14.720 drank four nights a week i ate whatever the fuck i wanted i i haven't had taco bell in like 10 years 0.97

00:34:19.880 dude i haven't i drink i mean how many times do i drink in a year maybe three four maybe tops yeah 0.98

00:34:27.380 right i usually four times yeah i drink i used to drink that many times in a week

00:34:32.040 okay um so yeah people can change dude but you got to understand that you have to want to change

00:34:40.000 and you should want to change because the time is running out and we are all on borrowed time and

00:34:45.020 our time is is is much less than what we believe it is and by the time you're 45 you'll realize that

00:34:51.640 right now you're still 35 you feel like you're kind of young i'm still a young guy i got all these

00:34:56.020 options and you do but and if snap you're going to be 45 and another snap you're going to be 55

00:35:02.620 and another snap you're going to be 65 and if you're still talking about wanting to be a better

00:35:07.180 person there's not going to be enough time okay so i would recommend looking and assessing where you are

00:35:12.040 now and i would say all right i don't like who i was which it sounds like you've already come to 0.88

00:35:16.840 that conclusion and then just take the actions in the opposite direction all of this shit that you've 0.86

00:35:22.340 heard about how hard it is and how people you know got to go to these things for 50 years to stay 0.99

00:35:29.080 you're focusing on the wrong shit okay when you focus on what you have to give up if you take a 0.93

00:35:34.660 drink a guy who drinks and you say all right no beer for you that you can't have beer that all the 1.00

00:35:42.640 guy's going to think about is when he can have his next beer because all the brain hears is beer beer

00:35:46.760 beer beer beer beer beer beer and all it does is it ends up breaking them same people same reason

00:35:51.040 that when people go on a diet and they say can't have pizza okay well then the person's like pizza

00:35:57.100 pizza pizza pizza pizza and that's all they think about until they give into that all right so you

00:36:00.500 have to change the way that you think and what i mean by that is you have to focus on who you're

00:36:06.280 becoming and what you're gaining not what you're giving up to get there because when you start to

00:36:11.100 focus on how much better you're getting and how much your life is getting better and how much more

00:36:14.960 proud of yourself you are now all of a sudden those things that were causing that you start to see

00:36:19.400 those things as the enemy you see those things as the reason that you were unhappy you see those

00:36:24.100 things as i don't ever want to go back there because i know what that did to me it's the same 0.62

00:36:28.620 reason when i say that people who celebrate 75 hard with a cake and whiskey and wine and all this shit 0.87

00:36:33.760 they didn't learn and it means they didn't do the program because if you actually did the program you 0.89

00:36:38.500 would have gotten so much fucking progress in that short time of 75 days that at the end of the 75 days 0.98

00:36:44.020 you are literally afraid to come off the program you're like fuck i don't want to go back and you start 0.99

00:36:48.540 to see these things like alcohol and food and these bad habits as the legit enemy of the life 0.99

00:36:54.380 that you are now proud that you've created so instead of looking at it and saying well i've got

00:36:59.180 to give up all this start saying well this is who i'm going to become and this is going to be awesome

00:37:03.300 this is what my life is going to be like and keep your focus ahead and not behind and it's not as hard

00:37:07.640 to let those things go okay this is a mental game this is not a physical game it's a mental game

00:37:13.140 i had a guy message me the other day and he's like man i'm trying to get in shape i just hate 0.61

00:37:17.700 healthy food no it's not that you hate healthy food it's that you've never been healthy so you

00:37:22.400 don't know how much better it is than what you are now you see what i'm saying and i could promise 0.97

00:37:26.660 you that if you were actually who you could be you would hate the food more than you fucking hate the

00:37:31.780 work it takes to get there so uh my recommendation would be for you sir would be to live the live hard 0.95

00:37:37.840 lifestyle because that's the thing that's cured me it's cured hundreds of thousands of other people

00:37:41.920 from this habitual relapsing and that's why it's so funny when people are like oh it's not sustainable 0.75

00:37:47.820 oh really it's not i'm pretty sure it's the only fucking program that ever changes anybody because 0.93

00:37:52.400 it addresses the issue at the core which is your mental fortitude your ability to adhere your ability 0.91

00:37:58.720 to make decisions for yourself in the moment that are going to benefit the long-term version of you

00:38:05.120 not the instant gratification that you would get from indulging whatever the vice is now and when you

00:38:10.460 start to understand this mentally and you start to live that way those things that have brought you 0.99

00:38:16.120 the frustration the anger the life that you're not proud of become the fucking enemy you hate them 0.99

00:38:22.560 you despise them like when i see people socially drinking all the time i think they're the weakest 1.00

00:38:28.540 fucking bitches on the face of the earth and then i look at them and they're usually fucking out of 1.00

00:38:33.220 shape and they're not making any money and they're celebrating every weekend what the fuck are you 1.00

00:38:37.580 celebrating bro you're broke you have a shitty car you have a shitty fucking relationship you're not 1.00

00:38:43.780 in shape you look like shit but you're celebrating what are you celebrating you see what i'm saying 1.00

00:38:49.740 so it's just a perspective switch i absolutely know for a undeniable fact because i've witnessed it 0.99

00:38:58.460 hundreds of thousands if not millions of times over my course of my career in in nutritional

00:39:04.760 supplements fitness and with live hard program people change all the time dude it's just a

00:39:10.600 decision that you got to make and you got to take the actions of the person that you want to become

00:39:14.820 and when you think about you know like we've mentioned just a minute ago fake it till you make it when we

00:39:20.740 think about like what fake it till you make it actually means it doesn't mean go out and buy a car

00:39:25.120 and stand in front of it and you know fake your wealth to get money that's not what fake it till you make

00:39:30.880 it means fake it till you make it actually means make the decisions that that person that you know

00:39:35.600 you want to be like would make even when you're you now and eventually you become that person okay

00:39:41.640 that's what fake it till you make it so decide who you want to be start making the decisions that

00:39:46.520 person would make and eventually you legitimately become that in your life and it won't feel like

00:39:51.280 that today and it won't feel like that tomorrow and because you lived your life the way that you've

00:39:56.100 lived it for 35 years and you're not proud of it it's probably going to take a minute for you to

00:40:00.960 adjust to being the kind of person you want to be but if you keep following with those actions over

00:40:05.920 and over and over and over and over again of the person that you want to be like eventually you become

00:40:10.900 that person and it's reality and like dude that's what it is it's it's just it's that simple dude so

00:40:17.360 yeah you can change bro and you should change because you have people depending on you whether you have

00:40:22.080 a family or whether you have you know friends or whether you have people peers at work there's 0.98

00:40:27.320 people looking at you and they're saying fuck you know joe either is as a great role model for me or 1.00

00:40:34.940 i don't even pay attention to joe because he's a piece of shit and dude if you're listening to this 1.00

00:40:39.300 show it's because you care about shit you don't listen to this show just to be entertained 1.00

00:40:43.420 you listen to this show because you care yeah we have entertainment on the show but this is a show 1.00

00:40:48.780 that people who give a fuck listen to because they want to get better and they realize that them 0.94

00:40:53.140 being better makes everything else better and so you need to start thinking about it dude it's not 0.96

00:40:57.020 just about you it's about your obligation to live a life that maximizes your potential as a human and

00:41:02.800 maybe you're not a religious person but dude i'm gonna tell you this god wants you to be the best

00:41:06.960 version of yourself do you have a son do you do you want your girls to be the best they could be

00:41:11.280 absolutely joe do you want your daughter to be the best that she could be if she lived below if those if

00:41:16.000 your daughters ended up living a life that was way below your potential would you be disappointed 1.00

00:41:20.060 absolutely god's the same way god looks at us the same way he says i gave you all this potential all

00:41:25.300 these gifts all this ability and you didn't do anything with it because you were lazy or because

00:41:29.360 you let these things get in the way and that's a disappointment to god you're dishonoring your

00:41:33.820 obligation to god you're dishonoring your obligation to your fellow citizen your neighbor your family and

00:41:41.280 especially yourself by sitting there and saying i'm going to accept this version of myself that's

00:41:45.960 less than what i could be and i think everybody falls into that trap because we are all propagated

00:41:50.840 immensely in society that that is okay we see it on tv what do the men look like on tv that they look like

00:41:58.760 fat middle-aged weird looking dudes that are standing in the backyard on a weber kettle cooking hot dogs

00:42:04.160 that answer to their wives correct okay what message are they sending they're sending a message 0.95

00:42:11.020 of this is okay to be like this when they put a woman on a health magazine that's 400 pounds they say 1.00

00:42:18.200 it's healthy what message are they sending they're saying to women you could be like this and this is

00:42:22.260 normal and this is okay why do they do that well they do that because they want to they it's for control

00:42:27.560 reasons if you're not at the best that you can be you are much easier to control and if you're much

00:42:31.720 easier to control you're not going to have a fair shake in the way things that you know work out in

00:42:36.680 terms of what we call freedom or what we desire as freedom so for us to fix what's going on in the

00:42:42.380 country we have to fix the culture to fix the culture we have to fix ourselves so it's not just

00:42:47.380 about you bro it's about everybody it's about the people you're related to it's about the people that

00:42:52.100 see you in the gas station it's about the people who see you in the grocery store it's about your

00:42:55.460 peers at work it's about the example that you set and if we don't do that and if you don't do that

00:43:01.580 as an individual you have no right to bitch about the way things are in society because you're not 0.99

00:43:06.620 contributing to the solution so get in shape stop drinking make good decisions treat people right

00:43:15.140 put good things in your brain control what you control and stick to that and make the decisions

00:43:21.040 of the person that you want to become not the decisions of the person that you have been and

00:43:25.740 things are going to change bro and they're going to change forever as long as you keep following

00:43:28.860 that formula i love it man absolutely love it man great great questions great answers man guys

00:43:35.640 andy that was three all right guys let's have a good week go pay the fee 0.99

00:43:39.360 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions in the 1.00

00:43:46.120 cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed 1.00

00:43:53.120 close you 1.00

00:43:58.120 you

00:44:00.120 you

00:44:02.120 you

00:44:04.120 you

00:44:06.120 you

00:44:08.120 you

00:44:10.120 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 15, 2024

743. Q&AF： Jealousy In Family Business, The Idea Of "Obsession" & Initiating Change For Yourself

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 15, 2024

743. Q&#x26;AF： Jealousy In Family Business, The Idea Of &#x22;Obsession&#x22; &#x26; Initiating Change For Yourself

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

743. Q&AF： Jealousy In Family Business, The Idea Of "Obsession" & Initiating Change For Yourself