REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 751. Q&AF： Hiring And Firing, Attitude For Greatness & Understanding Aggressive Patience

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies 0.99

00:00:21.020 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys 0.92

00:00:25.340 it's a brand new week and you know what that means that means we are hitting q and af because we 0.60

00:00:31.380 always like to start the week getting better all right so uh this is where you ask the questions

00:00:36.640 and we give you the answers now you can submit your questions to be answered on this show a

00:00:40.860 couple different ways the first way is guys you can email these questions into ask andy at andy

00:00:45.560 frisella.com or you go on youtube under the q and af episodes drop your question in the comments and

00:00:51.300 we'll choose some from there as well as i mentioned last week we are going to start transitioning into

00:00:56.160 live call-ins so keep uh keep your ear open for that and we'll let you know now if this is your

00:01:01.260 first time listening we have shows within the show all right tomorrow we're going to have cti that

00:01:07.060 stands for cruise the internet that's where we put topics up on the screen we speculate on what's true

00:01:12.300 and what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in

00:01:17.160 the world other times throughout the week we're going to have real talk real talk just five to

00:01:21.380 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk and then we have 75 hard verses and we have some really

00:01:26.780 good 75 hard verses episodes coming up what is 75 hard verses you might ask well it is where we

00:01:33.580 bring people in studio who have completed the 75 hard program we talk about how their life was before

00:01:39.700 how their life is now and how they use the 75 hard program to transform their lives if you're

00:01:44.620 unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever and it

00:01:51.900 is the initial phase of the live hard program you can get that program for free at episode 208

00:01:56.880 on the audio feed only it's not on youtube we weren't on youtube when that came out so if you go on any of

00:02:02.340 the audio platforms and listen to episode 208 you will get the program for free now there is a book

00:02:07.740 called the book on mental toughness you can get that at my website andyfricella.com it is

00:02:14.620 in stock right now i believe um that will cover the entire live hard program top to bottom uh in

00:02:22.100 and out it has 10 plus chapters on mental toughness uh how to cultivate it why it's important and why

00:02:27.480 you need it in your life along with a bunch of case studies on very famous people who have used

00:02:31.460 mental toughness to become the people that you recognize today uh again you can get that at

00:02:36.400 andyfricella.com now one thing you're going to notice about this show unlike most shows is we

00:02:41.400 don't run ads all right i don't want to have to hear from these other companies uh what i can and

00:02:47.020 can't say as you guys know we're always talking about what's going on the things we're not supposed

00:02:51.580 to talk about which is absurd in the united states of america we're supposed to be able to talk about

00:02:55.520 whatever we want but we're constantly battling censorship traffic throttling uh getting our episodes

00:03:02.980 removed like we had happened last week on friday uh and we need your help to get the message out

00:03:07.940 so i ask very simply that you pay the fee and what that means is if the episode's good if it

00:03:13.240 makes you think it makes you laugh you get value out of it please help us grow the show please share

00:03:18.640 the show all right um we only grow if you share the show that's the only way our show grows so

00:03:23.540 don't be a hoe share the show all right what's up man happy monday yeah what's going on nothing 0.98

00:03:29.120 yeah yeah sore feeling a little grape-ish today yeah tapping to the dark side yeah i love the

00:03:37.440 grape dude i love the grape you're down with the grape i feel it in my soul you know what that means

00:03:43.320 right i'm about to steal the show yeah man what's up you know it's another day you know what you got

00:03:55.880 there uh a little strawberry madness is it good strawberry bro fire is that the one this is fire

00:04:01.600 really there's like little chunks of strawberry in there yeah i just had one in my mouth it's good

00:04:05.340 bro back in the day i used to only drink strawberry protein and i drank it like so much for so long

00:04:10.960 that like i can't even drink it anymore like i can't even drink a straw i can't have strawberry

00:04:14.680 ice cream i can't have strawberry yeah no dude so i used to love it it used to be my favorite thing

00:04:19.560 ever dude i'm down with strawberries bro when i used to go to my uh grandma's house over in

00:04:25.080 shawneytown illinois she used to always make strawberry quick you know that is like whipped 1.00

00:04:29.860 cream what is that no it's like chocolate milk but it's strawberry it's quick strawberry quick oh

00:04:35.540 yeah okay yeah it come it used to come in like a little tin can um where you like kind of plastic

00:04:41.120 yep yeah dude it was it's one of my favorite memories we make stars with water though because we

00:04:45.840 didn't we didn't always have milk dad never came back well that's that pesante yeah so but we did it

00:04:52.680 with milk you know white privilege you know what i'm saying yeah you're so privileged yeah

00:04:57.700 so but yeah dude it's one of my favorite memories man getting that strawberry quick yeah strawberry

00:05:04.080 that's quick bro that's some good stuff some decent stuff man that's going down memory lane yep

00:05:08.460 all right sweet man that's right up there with the werthers and the and the little you know those

00:05:13.580 wafer cakes that are like strawberry huh yeah i know you got some over there bro i'm not talking

00:05:18.900 about those strawberry candies though you know those wafer cakes they're like a rectangle and

00:05:23.260 they got like a wafer on top and a wafer on the bottom and then they got icing or whatever in the 0.66

00:05:27.160 middle joe you know what i'm talking about they come in like chocolate vanilla and strawberry fuck

00:05:31.060 yeah bro oh yeah those things are good fire yeah i remember those from my grandma's house too

00:05:36.000 yeah i love snacks joe you like those me too man i like snacks too bro uh not quite those they

00:05:44.360 aren't similar to those but that's multi-level that's really the bougie kind that's bougie

00:05:49.720 bougie yeah these are like just little rectangles we're talking about the blue card kind yeah

00:05:54.060 the uh the ebt kind yeah yeah that's what i'm saying all right man let's make some people better

00:06:01.580 i run around with black cards i got the blue card you know what i'm saying

00:06:04.440 all right man let's make some people better man guys andy i got three good ones for you all right

00:06:11.220 you always do hey man i do my best i know so uh let's knock these out guys andy question

00:06:17.700 numero uno uh hey andy and dj thanks for taking my question i've been a tattoo artist for 20 years now

00:06:26.180 and opened my own shop one month before covid shut us down the business survived that

00:06:31.420 uh and has been thriving and growing since then but i've made a lot of mistakes primarily

00:06:37.260 in who i've hired i've let the wrong people in and as a result i've gotten very comfortable

00:06:43.740 firing people um i've been guilty of knowing someone needed to go and keeping them on way too

00:06:50.620 long now my tolerance for bullshit is very low when i can see it's not a good fit i am quick to stop 0.94

00:06:58.040 the bleeding my question is am i being too picky i don't want winners in my shop who want to contribute 0.72

00:07:04.120 to our overall momentum and growth of our artists collectively but those people are very few and far

00:07:09.020 in between in this industry should i allow b players to take up space and put more time and effort into

00:07:14.640 coaching them in order to keep moving the needle forward or do i keep holding out and hope to attract

00:07:20.300 those a players that i really want thanks so much for your help is firing too quick is that a thing

00:07:25.660 well there's a saying and the saying is higher slow fire fast and the reason that you want to fire

00:07:32.940 fast is because you don't want a negative attitude to infect the culture of your business um when

00:07:40.000 you're a good person you care about people business owners tend to be overly empathetic towards people

00:07:45.820 that aren't going to work out i've been guilty of this myself where i've hung on to people way too long

00:07:51.780 because i inaccurately believe that their only hope is for them to be with me i know i'm going to win

00:08:02.900 i'm fucking winning bro and when i look at other people and i and this is wrong okay i'm saying i'm 0.93

00:08:08.400 just telling you how i look at it i believe in what i'm doing so much that when i look at people and 0.98

00:08:17.200 they say oh you know i'm not doing this i look at them and i think bro your only fucking chance 1.00

00:08:22.780 to really get where the fuck you say you want to go is going to be hitching your motherfucking wagon 1.00

00:08:27.240 to me because i am a fucking Clydesdale bro i don't ever stop i will never stop and i will get 0.99

00:08:33.400 where i want to go and i know that deep inside me the problem is that's not true people can can win 0.94

00:08:40.220 and survive and do things in all different places and they need to be someplace where they're going to

00:08:45.620 fit not everybody is made to operate on a high standard all the time i have a saying that i use

00:08:52.260 and you you know it's very simple the world needs fry cooks too okay the world needs people to make 0.98

00:08:59.700 the fucking french fries and that's okay just make some good fucking french fries you know do the best 0.99

00:09:03.640 you can um so i can understand where a business owner will get in the in the habit of allowing people 1.00

00:09:12.440 to stay but that usually comes from you caring about them and also you believing that you're

00:09:17.820 their only chance at really getting where they want to go which is inaccurate and it's not a negative way

00:09:23.400 a lot of times employees perceive that to be negative like you know no it's just that i believe in what 0.98

00:09:30.140 i'm doing so much that i know i'm going to get there and i know you will too if you just fucking come 0.98

00:09:34.080 along right and so you know it becomes very difficult to go through that process of really

00:09:40.760 caring about people and their future and their career and then you know watching them make

00:09:47.820 decisions that you may not agree with but at the end of the day bro we can't control what people do

00:09:52.080 and a lot of times when we try to prevent them from making decisions we're actually preventing them

00:09:56.600 from learning uh the lessons that they need to learn so that's a natural progression as an entrepreneur

00:10:02.660 if you're an empathetic caring person in the beginning you have a hard time firing the first 0.98

00:10:07.780 time i fired someone i fucking cried dude i got my truck and i fucking cried i felt so shitty about 0.99

00:10:12.980 having to fire the dude i remember him dude i remember the guy's name um he just couldn't do the 0.98

00:10:17.860 job and uh it bothered me like it's it still kind of bothers me because i had you know it was it was

00:10:24.700 hard and um you know as you go through the process of hiring and firing it gets it gets a little

00:10:30.820 easier gets a little easier and what i ultimately came to understand which made it much less personal

00:10:38.480 and much easier to handle that situation was that by me not letting go of someone who needed to be

00:10:46.900 let go of i'm letting down the rest of the team i'm costing them opportunity because this person's

00:10:51.880 they have to drag this person and also i'm preventing that person from finding something that they're 0.76

00:10:56.840 really going to love and really excel at where they're struggling here right so i came to that

00:11:01.980 conclusion which is true that's the truth the truth is is when you try to keep someone who doesn't

00:11:07.160 really fit you're preventing them from finding something where they will fit and that is or learning

00:11:12.620 a lesson about how they could fit somewhere if they just gave a little more and developed a little

00:11:16.840 more so when you step in the way of someone's karma that they have developed themselves right you end up

00:11:24.700 taking the brunt of that and that's something that i've learned the hard way plenty of times where

00:11:29.420 i've tried to keep people and uh it ends up blowing up into a huge negative situation where had i just

00:11:34.540 let them go when i first knew that they should have been let go it would have never caused that so i think

00:11:40.680 this person you know at 20 years in you have definitely progressed to the point where you need to be

00:11:46.260 and i think now you're feeling a little bit guilty for just snap snap snap firing them through but the

00:11:51.460 reality is dude i actually think that's a super healthy way to run things i think that you are

00:11:57.460 you have to be very careful about people poisoning the well poisoning the culture well uh and the truth

00:12:04.880 of the matter is is if you want to attract a players and an a player comes into your studio or comes into

00:12:10.800 your business and they see a bunch of c players they're not going to want to work there all right so 0.99

00:12:15.300 it's very important for the standard that you're trying to hold as a premium elite tattoo studio

00:12:21.600 that you have a players in there because when the other a players come in they're going to want to be 0.97

00:12:26.420 there and if you have a bunch of you know medium level people that don't really give a fuck those a 0.73

00:12:30.960 players are going to come in and be like nah this isn't where i want to be right and i tell my team 0.87

00:12:34.960 all the time and every company that i'm involved in i tell my teams all the time i say look this isn't

00:12:41.140 for everybody dude there's plenty of jobs there's plenty of careers that are easier than this

00:12:45.680 we are the university of alabama here we are trying to win championships we are trying to build

00:12:53.940 an iconic brand we are trying to be the best and that is not something that everybody can handle

00:13:00.980 nor should they some people that's not the focus of their lives that's not what they care about they

00:13:06.140 care about other things and that's okay but if you take one of this these people who cares about 0.98

00:13:10.420 other things and you put them in that environment they're going to be fucking miserable dude because 0.98

00:13:14.440 the standard's so high the pressure's high they can't take it and they end up resenting you and

00:13:19.900 the company for even putting you in the position so i actually think you're in a very good spot i don't

00:13:25.040 think you should feel bad about it i think you you've run the course of developing your mindset as an

00:13:30.440 entrepreneur from someone who hangs on to people to someone who maybe is a little bit fast and the answer

00:13:36.320 to this is you know a question that you can ask yourself when you're deciding whether or not you should

00:13:42.640 have put more time into this person or not would be something like did i fail this person or they fail me

00:13:49.620 right did i fail this person by not coaching them up teaching them the skills spending enough time with

00:13:56.360 them to get them where they needed to go or did i do that and they just failed me on their execution and if the

00:14:03.160 answer is you failed them then it's time for you to sit down have a real talk with them and say okay

00:14:08.560 look i failed you bro you're not developing at the pace that i need you to develop at and i'll take

00:14:15.260 responsibility for that this time but here's what i need okay are we clear on this what do you need help

00:14:20.140 with and you give them another chance and if they come out the gates and they start doing a thing and

00:14:26.040 they move down the right track cool if you give them that discussion and they go back to doing the exact

00:14:31.760 same shit then you have your answer and it's very simple it's not emotional it's just facts 0.57

00:14:35.180 that person doesn't belong here and if you keep them there they're a liability not only to the 0.99

00:14:39.340 company but to the other members of the team and also they're going to keep themselves from being where

00:14:44.520 they need to be and learning the lessons that they need to learn so that's how in a nutshell how i would

00:14:50.160 think about it now if you want like detailed information on this these are the kinds of things

00:14:54.920 that we go through an arte syndicate uh you can apply to be a part of arte syndicate it's the

00:14:59.880 entrepreneurship group that ed and i ed my let and i run together and we've run together since

00:15:04.520 for almost six years now um it's for people that own real businesses it's for people that are building

00:15:10.020 real companies and and we talk about these kind of things in depth all the time yeah i was going to

00:15:15.560 ask you too before you said like you could ask yourself this question but like man what's that

00:15:18.900 equation look like when you know you might have a b player but that b player you know with just a

00:15:24.720 little bit more you know investment in education or whatever it is they could be the star of that

00:15:29.460 studio for sure and so like like that's got to be a hard thing to kind of like to to kind of eyeball

00:15:35.360 and judge man i'll tell you what's really hard what's really hard is when you have someone that has

00:15:40.740 that potential and because i've been doing something for so long i can see that they have it yeah but

00:15:45.780 they don't believe they have it and because they don't believe they have it they don't really try to

00:15:49.300 like materialize let it materialize and then they go from thing to thing to thing you know how many 0.97

00:15:54.380 people i've worked with in my life bro that are fucking one inch away from being fucking great at 0.99

00:15:59.640 what they do but because they were raised in a shitty family or they have shitty friends or they 0.99

00:16:04.800 have people in their ear telling them they can't do anything they don't really try and they never 0.66

00:16:10.640 become anything and they end up working you know a bunch of different careers thinking man this isn't

00:16:15.660 right for me this look bro nothing's right you got to make it right we're all going to have days 0.95

00:16:20.280 where we come into what we do and we're like fuck this sucks i'd rather be doing this um it's those 0.95

00:16:26.420 days that matter the most ironically those are the days where you have to execute at the highest level 0.99

00:16:30.100 uh because those are the days everybody else fucking doesn't do shit and if you can execute at the 0.99

00:16:34.200 highest level when everybody else doesn't do shit you distance yourself from them so um yeah dude it is 0.97

00:16:39.900 very hard and it's very hard when you care about people um i think when you detach your emotions

00:16:46.320 from it it's much easier but i i just don't think that's the way to run a business i don't think

00:16:52.180 that's like an unemotional i just personally dude i you gotta have a little bit of in there a little bit

00:16:58.220 but but not really because if you really care about them you're gonna let them go find something that

00:17:03.440 they that they're great at right if you really care about them you're gonna you're gonna tell them

00:17:07.380 what they're lacking what the truth is and some people don't like that bro some people can't

00:17:11.560 handle that you know but i can tell you this if you're if you are even considering coming to work

00:17:17.320 for me and anything i do just know it's hard as fuck it's high pressure we are here to win if you 0.98

00:17:23.620 can't cut it in that environment you shouldn't even fucking try to come here because you will 0.99

00:17:27.660 fucking hate it yeah it's funny you say sal's really really good at that too which what which part 0.99

00:17:33.580 like like the the i care about you but here's like the fucking brutal honest fucking truth that 0.99

00:17:38.360 you may not like to hear well that's because well let me tell you dude let me tell you dude 0.92

00:17:42.460 people think that he doesn't care about him because because of that right the truth is there ain't 0.77

00:17:47.780 anybody in this fucking company that cares about people more than him right because he will tell 0.95

00:17:52.580 him the exact fucking truth so and people people have a hard time handling that yeah you know i love 0.99

00:17:59.920 it love it guys any question number two hey andy i'm gonna be a sophomore in high school in a couple 0.94

00:18:07.200 of weeks i got screwed over last year in school ball for softball um i was promised a starting spot at

00:18:14.980 second base as a freshman and i had it for a game or two but a girl from another school her dad knew the

00:18:22.120 assistant coach she got my spot i got shoved to right field which i'm not complaining about because

00:18:28.180 i still played as a freshman on varsity but she just walked in and took my spot the position i earned 1.00

00:18:34.040 she got it handed to her next year i'm going to strive to get third base i do not want it to happen 0.97

00:18:40.920 again i want to be a killer next year i want to be the oh shit kind of player when coaches see me 0.98

00:18:46.440 not the we got it in the bag kind of player i'm a decent ball player right now i started 0.98

00:18:50.760 throw up stop for travel and i have an 800 fielding percentage which isn't great but it's good

00:18:55.520 um i want my coaches uh to have to play me next year what tips do you have for me to get mentally

00:19:03.700 prepared for that well i think you got the right attitude okay um i i would caution you i'm just going

00:19:10.400 to speak straight with you if you're listening to the show you're a straight shooter you probably

00:19:14.480 weren't good enough to keep that job a second base and this is a reality lesson that you should

00:19:18.900 take with you anywhere you go because there's going to be times in your life where you are as

00:19:25.060 good as someone else and that someone else will have a relationship or they'll have a connection

00:19:29.580 and be so for that reason being as good is not good enough like you said in your question you have 0.99

00:19:37.080 to be the kind of person that someone says oh shit they're fucking good okay if you are not 0.98

00:19:43.720 undeniably better than the person that you are competing with you have to understand that you're 0.99

00:19:50.460 running the risk of not getting that job and that goes for you know varsity softball that goes for

00:19:57.160 college softball that goes for your career and your whole entire life if you are as good as someone

00:20:03.200 else that you are competing with you are running the risk of not getting the job because of some

00:20:07.840 other aspect all right so i would caution you to not look at these situations say oh they only got

00:20:15.700 that because of their dad because you're creating a mental dialogue we're going to get into the mental

00:20:22.020 part now you're creating a mental dialogue that is an excuse making dialogue okay and you don't want

00:20:29.820 to get in that habit i'm not saying that you're out of line here but what i am saying is you want to be

00:20:34.680 very careful what you blame and who you blame when you don't get what you want because ultimately it's

00:20:40.220 you the truth of the matter is is had you practice and taken a thousand more reps than that girl who

00:20:46.020 went to second base you would have still been playing at second base but she probably took the 1.00

00:20:50.620 same amount of reps that you did maybe even more and that's why you're not there and that's the truth

00:20:55.400 so let's bottom line the truth here it's not about the dad it's about how good you are

00:21:00.640 if you were undeniably better than her do you think that they would have moved you to right field

00:21:05.560 no they would have kept you there they would have put her in right field all right so that's the first 0.96

00:21:11.520 thing that i want you to understand i appreciate you asking the question but if you're going to ask

00:21:15.120 a question here you're going to get a straight answer i don't care if you're five or if you're 50

00:21:19.200 all right so you need to get better that's the truth um mentally how do you get better you have to

00:21:26.180 adopt this mindset that i'm explaining to you that you have to be undeniably better in every area of

00:21:31.700 your life so like and what i mean by every area of your life i mean as you go through life and this

00:21:37.420 could be your career right let's say you're not going to become a professional softball player

00:21:41.680 let's say you're going to become an accountant you have to be a much better higher skilled accountant

00:21:47.480 than the person next to you so that you get the the role right um so learn a lesson now when you're

00:21:52.880 young you're 14 15 16 years old learn that lesson now and it won't be a problem um you know this is

00:21:59.920 going to come down to reps it's like anything else so if you want to be where you want to be next year

00:22:04.020 like you say and i think i believe that you do you wouldn't be listening to this show to get better

00:22:08.200 um you need to put in a lot more reps than that person's doing you know whatever you think that

00:22:13.420 person's do i would do 50 more than that you know take 50 more ground balls take 50 more batting

00:22:19.760 practice and by the time that game comes around especially at your age you're going to be further

00:22:24.300 developed than that person will it's very easy to develop in sports when you're at that age if

00:22:28.620 you're just willing to do more work um because that's what it comes down to and you're developing

00:22:32.820 your motor skills so fast right now that just those more reps is going to put you in a position

00:22:37.380 where you're undeniably better so i would just commit to the work i would like honestly assess you

00:22:43.120 know like let's just well how many reps is suzy doing suzy's doing 100 ground balls all right 1.00

00:22:47.420 you got to do 150 you have to okay suzy's taking 20 you know or 100 balls at bats all right well you

00:22:54.820 got to take 200 you know i'm saying you just got to do more man you got to do more reps and that's

00:22:59.320 going to put you in position to win mentally uh how you justify that is you have to say and this is

00:23:04.540 what i tell myself and you guys know this listen to the show and and you know this guy's here i tell

00:23:10.000 myself i don't have any special skills i wasn't blessed with extreme iq i wasn't given any special

00:23:17.000 breaks so i know i have to do more you know when i when when i look at what's going on in my life

00:23:23.180 and you guys who have followed me for a long time you know this is i talk about this all the time

00:23:26.660 there might be better people than me but there isn't anybody that's going to put in more work

00:23:31.200 than me and and honestly i feel like that's why i am where i am and i honestly feel like that's why

00:23:35.340 most of you guys relate to me because i'm not one of these people that was just born with all this

00:23:40.020 special shit i'm i wasn't extra you know blessed in all these areas i had to put in that those reps 0.87

00:23:46.780 and that's why i believe and i know that all of you can do the same thing if you if you were willing 0.87

00:23:51.760 to adopt that mindset of hey i wasn't blessed with the athletic ability that susie was so that means i

00:23:57.820 got to do more and that's the reality of life you know right now there's a lot of topics around uh you

00:24:04.740 know you know everything being equitable and even and everybody ending up in the right at the same

00:24:10.180 spot that's just not reality dude the reality is is um if you started out with nothing and someone

00:24:17.380 else started out with you know something let's say you know people like to say oh you the guy was born

00:24:23.520 on third base and thinks he hit a triple right all right so you're born on home base you weren't born

00:24:27.880 with any special gifts you weren't really given any special treatment and then you're competing at

00:24:33.940 someone who was gifted who let's say born on second base that means you got to do more work 0.97

00:24:38.320 you can't complain about it and say oh it's not fair no shit is not fair that's the way the world 0.97

00:24:43.340 works the world is not fucking fair so we have to bottom line that and say okay this is the reality 0.98

00:24:49.160 if we want to be great we have to bottom line that and say okay this is the reality um i wasn't blessed 0.93

00:24:54.500 with these gifts so i have to do more and if i do more i'll pass that person up and i actually think

00:25:01.260 that that's a very very very great place to be because you learn the habits

00:25:08.960 that will sustain your success over the course of your life whereas someone else who was born with

00:25:17.420 these gifts doesn't ever learn the grit the work ethic the fortitude that it takes to push through

00:25:22.600 the really hard times we see this with like you know people who were tremendous athletes in high

00:25:29.920 school they were first team all state they were first team all american in high school and they

00:25:35.020 get in college and they're okay and then you know maybe they get to pros and there are nobody right

00:25:39.260 but then you got the tom brady's of the world you got the guy who was okay and then he got he was okay

00:25:44.460 in college and then he was okay and he just decided he's gonna fucking put in the reps and he became 0.92

00:25:49.180 the greatest of all time i would much rather come from less skill set and less blessings because it 0.53

00:25:55.880 forces you to develop the work ethic required to maintain and become great versus someone who's born 1.00

00:26:02.200 with the natural skill who doesn't appreciate it and doesn't learn that uh way of operating over the

00:26:07.840 course of time so a lot of times when you're younger you look around for example like in business people

00:26:13.440 will say things like this oh that guy was born with rich parents you know he his parents he like

00:26:19.180 dude when i was starting my business bro there was all kinds of people i competed with that had like

00:26:22.980 you know parents that invested a bunch of money in their business or uh you know they came from very

00:26:28.740 wealthy circumstances so they had options right but here's the problem the problem is they had options

00:26:35.600 okay and because they had options they weren't able to fully dedicate themselves to becoming great at what

00:26:43.080 they did for me to compete with someone with more resources in the beginning i had to get better

00:26:47.580 they didn't have to get better so 10 fast forward 10 years i have all these skills that they don't

00:26:53.880 have because they relied on their resources and they're still where they are mentally and skill set

00:26:58.360 that they were on day one now who do you think wins 10 years in i'm running circles around these guys

00:27:04.420 right because i had to learn what it takes to compete and the reason i had to learn what it takes to

00:27:10.680 compete is because i wasn't born with all the bonuses that some of these other people were born with so if

00:27:16.280 you're that person and you're looking around right now and you're saying man i wasn't born with all good

00:27:21.300 because that's going to force you to develop the things that you're going to need to be successful

00:27:25.260 the course of your life the the the work ethic the grit the skill set the ability to learn as you go

00:27:31.340 the adaptation the ability to be resourceful these are things that people who were born with blessings

00:27:37.180 never learn because they rely on those blessings to get them through so like 10 years down the road

00:27:44.100 when when you've dedicated yourself right now at 14 years old to okay i don't have the gifts that suzy

00:27:51.960 has and i've got to put in twice as much work to get where if you adopt that mindset now dude at 25 10

00:27:59.020 years from now you're going to be killing everybody because of the mindset that you developed all right so

00:28:04.640 just just be okay and say hey i didn't get everything everybody else got so i gotta work harder

00:28:10.540 i love it i absolutely love it well good luck in your season um guys andy uh question number three

00:28:18.160 third and final question guys uh dear andy i've been wrestling with your concept of aggressive patience

00:28:26.880 recently and i'm wondering if you can just dive deeper into it i am 19 a full-time employee

00:28:32.760 and a full-time college sophomore studying software development i'm ready to move out on my own and

00:28:38.660 begin my career with an internship or an entry-level position my family however keeps telling me to stay

00:28:44.840 at home save my money and focus on my studies rather than getting an internship my question is

00:28:50.000 in what situations should aggressive patience be used rather than moving forward and taking the next step

00:28:57.540 um and also if first form happens to be uh or have a software development internship available let me know

00:29:03.280 um

00:29:05.600 okay look

00:29:08.840 i think you're misunderstanding the concept of aggressive patience all right

00:29:14.280 there's there's there's three things that have to happen for you to become successful

00:29:21.480 in anything okay you have to put in the work you have to become skilled and you have to allow time

00:29:27.860 to do its part and the analogy that i've always used for this is baking a cake all right you could

00:29:35.600 want to bake a cake and you go on google and you say i'm gonna bake a cake and you find this amazing

00:29:40.780 cake recipe for martha stewart it won all the awards all right and you're like all right that's the cake i

00:29:46.440 want to make so you read the recipe out and you put all the ingredients in the pan you mix it up just

00:29:53.960 like it says exactly like she says it says 400 degrees for 40 minutes so you're pouring all the

00:30:03.240 ingredients in the bowl you pour it in the pan you're just about ready to put it in the oven 0.92

00:30:08.340 and you're like fuck dude if i cook this thing for 800 degrees for 20 minutes i could get it out twice 0.99

00:30:16.300 all right so you you think you're real smart so you turn the thing up to 800 degrees and you set the 1.00

00:30:22.520 timer for 20 minutes and you throw that bitch in there and then you go to pull it out what is it 1.00

00:30:26.740 it's burnt to a crisp it's smoking your smoke alarm's going off it smells like shit and you're like what 1.00

00:30:33.300 the fuck is going on all right you did not obey one of the crucial elements of success which is allowing 0.99

00:30:41.040 time to do its part okay we cannot rush time in terms of what it takes for us to materialize our 0.99

00:30:52.260 outcome in most situations now there is a max velocity that we can achieve but there is also

00:30:59.320 things that we cannot substitute because they take time for example it takes time in business

00:31:07.500 for a customer to become acclimated to your brand it might take 5 10 20 30 impressions before they ever

00:31:16.580 think about trying your brand out that doesn't happen in one minute just because you want it to

00:31:21.820 it takes time okay when we think about what that means that means that we have to be patient we have

00:31:31.300 to allow time to do its job but the problem is is that when we say to people hey i need you to be

00:31:38.460 patient here usually what they do when you tell them that they have to be patient is they stop doing the

00:31:44.480 work and they believe that time will just bring them the result without any of the work and this is

00:31:50.180 where the aggressive part comes in all right so you have to understand that it's going to take time

00:31:56.840 but you have to also understand that every single day while you're waiting for time to materialize

00:32:03.660 you have to show up and you have to give max effort and max execution all right so that's why it's

00:32:10.580 called aggressive patience it's aggressive in daily execution but also mindful that we have to be patient

00:32:17.740 and this is the reality of success you have to have work you have to have skill and you have to have

00:32:23.960 patience and if you do not have those three things you cannot win all right and a lot of people say

00:32:31.060 you don't need patience you need to be aggressive they're saying the same thing i'm saying but you

00:32:36.240 can't out aggressive time in certain scenarios okay so all you can do is you could show up every day

00:32:42.560 you can execute perfectly and the time will be what it is we can collapse time as much as possible by

00:32:50.500 following the method of aggressive patience but a lot of guys will tell you oh you just need to be

00:32:56.660 patient and a lot of young people young in the entrepreneurship game misunderstand that and they

00:33:02.180 think that means just wait and that's not what it means when i say be patient to all of you what do

00:33:07.160 you think automatically you probably think just wait okay and that that is not good enough you have to 0.58

00:33:13.460 come in every single day kick ass execute at a high degree execute at a high level and also understand 0.64

00:33:21.480 that it's going to take time and that's what aggressive patience is about so um and it's a required 0.68

00:33:27.360 element of success you can't get around utilizing it yeah yeah and so so

00:33:31.880 what you're saying is like okay you put that cake in the oven you set it at the right temperature it's

00:33:37.520 going to be 40 minutes you can't speed that time up you can't stop it can't slow it down right but there's

00:33:42.320 other things that you could also be doing while that cakes yeah you could be making the icing you

00:33:46.520 could be cleaning the kitchen yeah you could be cleaning the kitchen you could be making the icing

00:33:50.280 you'd be setting the table you could be aggressively showing up and getting prepared for that event that

00:33:56.280 you need the cake for right so there's this is all part of how it works and um you know it's it's very

00:34:04.120 simple when you think about it like that uh it's no different than than an athlete bro an athlete's

00:34:09.560 going to show up like for example uh the the girl from the last question yeah all right she shows up

00:34:15.540 on day one we got 365 days in the year right she wants to improve her skill set she shows up on day 0.70

00:34:21.940 one and just fucking she works out for 16 hours that day shows up for day two 16 hours shows up for day 1.00

00:34:29.620 three 16 hours shows up for day four 16 hours doesn't show up for day five because she's like fuck this 1.00

00:34:36.000 okay whereas the person who shows up every single day for eight hours and crushes exactly what they 0.99

00:34:43.220 do and they do that for 365 days straight that motherfucker is going to be highly skilled because 1.00

00:34:49.280 they allowed for time to do its part how skilled can you get at a sport in one day no matter how hard 0.98

00:34:55.220 you work okay what about a week what about a year yeah right there we go so so but if you were to sit

00:35:03.960 on the bench for a year and just say i'll be better because i'm going to be a year older

00:35:07.360 you you you're not going to be much better right if any so we have to understand it's work skill and

00:35:15.300 time and we have to understand the roles that those three things play in the the end result that we're

00:35:21.920 chasing all right if you if you're lacking any of them you won't win and here's the other thing

00:35:26.280 about aggressive patience that skill part of it you develop while you're being aggressively patient

00:35:33.380 you see what i'm saying whereas if you were just patient that skill would not grow so show up every

00:35:40.040 day execute effectively do that the next day do that the next day and understand that no matter how

00:35:46.400 hard you work today and how hard you work tomorrow and how hard you work the third day it's still going

00:35:50.760 to take time i love it that's aggressive patience in a nutshell i absolutely love it man well guys

00:35:57.700 andy that was three that was three guys all right we got cti tomorrow remember go out this week be good

00:36:05.400 be kind kick ass be a good example we'll see you tomorrow 0.99

00:36:09.480 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in the 1.00

00:36:16.400 cold bad bitch booted swore got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case close 1.00

00:36:23.360 close 1.00

00:36:23.840 you

00:36:24.100 you

00:36:31.800 you

00:36:33.800 you

00:36:35.800 you

00:36:37.800 you

00:36:39.800 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 29, 2024

751. Q&AF： Hiring And Firing, Attitude For Greatness & Understanding Aggressive Patience

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 29, 2024

751. Q&#x26;AF： Hiring And Firing, Attitude For Greatness &#x26; Understanding Aggressive Patience

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

751. Q&AF： Hiring And Firing, Attitude For Greatness & Understanding Aggressive Patience